Vampire PT

Jonathan and Tom take the infamous ’90s Purity Test — and the results shock them both. Tom breaks down the steps to play Vampire Physical Therapist, and the boys open up about the shame they carried growing up.

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Jonathan: [00:00:00] What's up? What's up? We did it. This is no Homo with Jonathan and Tom. I'm Jonathan. I'm Tom. Hit me with some deets. Thomas. This 

Tom: is episode number 17 and we are recording this episode on Monday, October 13th, 2025. 17 years, uh, 17, 17 episodes in the 17 years, but we're, we're a horny teenager right now.

Basically. We're 17. 

Jonathan: We are basically a Hornet teenager at 17. And also we're basically just Hornet teenagers. 

Tom: Yeah. There we go. I mean, I'm excited, man. I can't believe we made it to 17. 

Jonathan: I know how fun. It's fall. It's dark out already. It's horrible up here right now. It's real gross. It's rainy, but also like it, it's rainy, but it, it, none of today was as bad as it said it was gonna be.

Right? Like this was supposed to be the Norta it was supposed to. Oh, it's not, it's not Nor Easter enough for you. I mean, it's gross. I don't wanna be out in it, but it's not like, is it raining hard where you are? It's just been kind of like gross all day. We're basically 

Tom: in the same place. I know. 

Jonathan: That's why I'm like, I don't think our weather 

Tom: changes that much.

What if [00:01:00] your door opened and I was actually in the other side of the door and the audience didn't know that This whole time, it's very high gut out tonight. 

Jonathan: Uh, you know how more? Nope. Nope. Um, I 

Tom: think I'm saying it right. I always get nervous about this one. Um, H-Y-U-G-G-E or something. Mm. Yeah. 

Jonathan: Dutch. Like the cuddly, the cuddly comfy cold.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But it's not, you're saying it wrong. It's, I think it's like huge. I actually, I don't remember. I don't know. Uh, 

Tom: correction corner. Alert. Alert. Alert. Yeah. We'll get to 

Jonathan: it. We'll get to it. 

Tom: Um. It's like candles. Yeah. Um, 

Jonathan: yeah, 

Tom: blankets. But also, yeah, I know what it is. I didn't A thunderstorm counts.

Jonathan: Yeah. 

Tom: Like you need, the elements need to be for outside, for it to happen. 

Jonathan: That's, that's what the word means. It's the weather of, it's the weather that. Motivates the mood, right? Like, isn't that what is No, it's the 

Tom: feel, it's the feeling of that mood. Mm. Okay. Like the feeling that the blankets and the candles and the thunderstorm and the snowstorm mm-hmm.

That that entire feeling is mm-hmm. Is the mood. It's such a good word. 

Jonathan: I love that [00:02:00] word. Yeah. I love that word. 

Tom: I was excited to come home tonight because of that feeling. You know, 

Jonathan: we're gonna look in that, we're gonna figure out that pronunciation. I feel like I, are we? Yeah. No, no. I'm gonna forget somebody out there.

Can you please comment? Please let us know. Um. I wanna get 

Tom: Hega with you. 

Jonathan: Yeah. You look so hago right now. I GetGo with you. 

Tom: You look so hago, cuddly, the cuddle you've ever looked. Oh, no. Thanks man. Yeah, it is. I don't think I told you that the last couple episodes I've been, I've been 

Jonathan: slacking. I don't, I'm not gonna ask you to tell me, but I, you know, if I'm not, not do I, you, I, I mean, I just want you to be honest.

So if you're honestly feeling like I've, uh, let it slip, then you know, I. I respect that. You're gonna be honest with me. I don't need you to lie to me about it. No, no. This is the best you've ever looked. I mean, it's little bit of 

Tom: like a black shape right now. Um, I'm not seeing like, it's like your beautiful face and then just like, 

Jonathan: oh, I'm hiding.

It's just a black mic and 

Tom: yeah. I mean, oh, there we go. There we go. Yeah. Like, yeah, I don't see. There we go. There we go. Whoa. Yes. How you good. [00:03:00] This is the best you've ever looked. I wanna get, I want to get haga in those armpits.

Um, what's up man? So I have a correction corner from last week. Yeah, go for it. Um, and hopefully this is where I'll remember to. Due the pronunciation of Hagan next week. Um, you brought up, uh, when we did, um, uh, the s ang sga eyedrops. Mm mm-hmm. Um, that's the name of the eyedrops we did. And they're They're an Amazonian Soga.

Yeah. They're an Amazonian eyedrop made from the root in a bark of a shrub. And they're used by indigenous tribes to sharpen physical and spiritual vision. Um. Yeah, they were intense. 

Jonathan: It's, and they, they the most intense thing. Yeah. But also, like, I get it as like a, as like a hunter or a warrior or whatever, like going through that.

Uh, and that was like to set us up for the rest of the, the process we were going through and the kind of the guide, um. Was the way that he described it was like, it's gonna open up your channels, your chakras are gonna be like fully open. Yeah. Um, [00:04:00] and I don't really know that, like language, that's not like a, you know, I don't spend a lot of time in that language, but that is what it wa like, whatever else there is, that's not just like this realm right here.

That's what you connect to with that stuff because there's, you can't think about anything other than the blinding white Yeah. Intensity of it. Yeah. And it also kind of like. Gave me the sense more so than the other things we did, more so than the combo or hoppe or whatever else that we did. Like that one in a, in a kind of like way that lasts longer and that stuck with me.

Is like a really a, a, a real time true, like tangible example that I can handle more than I think I can handle. So like since then when things have been hard or whatever, or something hurts, or like if it's physical pain or like life, whatever, I'm like, well. There was that one time I thought my eyes burned outta my head and I made it through.

So I think I can take more than I, uh, think I can, you know? Yeah. 

Tom: I remember feeling like I had to get so still and calm in myself in order to get through it, and that that was what it did for me was it got me to such a place of calmness. 'cause it was the only [00:05:00] way. You can't breathe, just breathe and center.

It's such a good 

Jonathan: example of like, you can't stop, you can't fight it, you can't stop it. You can't change it. I mean, I guess you could, maybe you could flush your eyes or whatever, but if you want to get through the process, you just have to 

Tom: get still and breathe. 

Jonathan: Yeah. 

Tom: Yeah. 

Jonathan: I've, 

Tom: I have some other examples of that for you at 

Jonathan: some point.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. 

Tom: Oh yeah. 

Jonathan: Okay. Well, before you get into those examples, Uhhuh, let me get into the correction corner. Let me real quick, just stop you right there. Before we go any further, um, I also have something to add to the correction corner because in more than one episode, I've made reference to, uh, my family.

Uh. Uh, not listening to the podcast, no one's really said anything to me about it. And I found out this weekend that my mom does listen. So, um, I don't know about how much I love that. I don't know if it's every time or what, but she listens some. And so, as a correction from the corrections corner, I wanna say I'm sorry that I tried to put out there that my mom is not listening.

She does listen and I'm also sorry. Uh, in a very real way. I'm sorry that some of the things that we've talked about, she brought up a really good point, which is that it was hurtful that some of these [00:06:00] things, I'm more. I can talk about to whoever out there listens, the hundreds of thousands of people, the millions of downloads we have.

Uh, I can talk about these, you know, these things, but I, I have a harder time talking to her about it. And that is a, I took that point. That's a valid point. And I'm gonna work on, uh, changing that in my relationship with my mom. And I'm also really sorry that she has to hear me say things like, come filled boxers on a weekly basis.

That's a little tough. Yeah. I'm sorry too. I love your mom. Yeah. 

Tom: I hope she still talks to me. 

Jonathan: I don't know if. Uh, this is not like the first time or the most, um, aggressive that I've been in my career, right? So, like, yeah, with the high maintenance episode. I still don't know if she watched it. I told her she probably wouldn't want to.

Yeah, I said it's like, you know, but some of that stuff is out there and I don't know what she does. Ladies and gentlemen, 

Tom: if you would like to see Jonathan totally buck ass naked, hooking up with another dude and a girl, high maintenance. Season two, episode one is your next stop this evening when you're listening to this.

Jonathan: Yeah. [00:07:00] Uh, yeah. It's also a very good, uh, episode of television as a standalone episode is really good. It is. That whole show is great and I do some weird, weird stuff. Some, it's pretty aggressive. It is some aggressive, I'll say this. There was a writer that came with that contract and the writer was like a sex writer, and it was very specific.

It was a full paragraph of very specific things that they might. That I might have to, that I might film. Mm-hmm. And so I had to sign off that that was okay. And I said to Jen at the time. And we talked through it and we loved the show. And that's one of the reasons that I, I did it. I was like, I trust them.

It's gonna be great. But also like, here's the writer. Here's all the things that they're laying out for us. I think that they're just like coming up with things to like really do a blanket statement. There's kind of like throwing things on the page here. No, we did all of those things. It, we basically were asking, went down the list.

Tom: You know what, when we go out this Halloween mm-hmm. We're going to City of God's, I'm going to, uh, have you sign a sex writer for that night as well. Uh, thank you for the idea. Um, 

Jonathan: do you want me to just forward you this [00:08:00] one? You want the same one? No, no, no. I have my 

Tom: own. I have my 

Jonathan: own. Well, it's good to be prepared.

I'm glad that you're covering your base there. That's good. Yeah. 

Tom: I just want you to be clear what we're getting into. Um, 

Jonathan: I'm excited. I got some new costume pieces today. 

Tom: What are you, what are you going as kidding? I'm not telling you yet. Wow. Okay. Yeah. 

Jonathan: Okay. Are we gonna have a a, a, a. A reveal party. Are we gonna have a costume party beforehand or are you We just gonna have night over.

We've had like a, it's been annual, like costume, uh, costume parade parties, like, like get togethers. I 

Tom: am fully, I have everything I need. Mm-hmm. So I'm ready if you want to come over and I will show you, uh. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm sign sealed, delivered. 

Jonathan: I, I, I'm still gonna hold this out and I, I think either way it's gonna be a hit either way.

It's gonna be exciting, but I will go on record saying if, if you stick with this costume, which I think is a wonderful costume that I've heard a little bit about. I haven't seen the pieces, but I've heard about it. Think it's a kick ass costume, but if you stick with this. Hm, I will [00:09:00] be wrong. And it'll be the first time that the front, that the early front runners stayed in front the whole time, because usually by October, you know, I just 

Tom: don't have the time or the energy anymore to Yeah.

Unless something comes to mind that's easy and like, feels right. Yeah. And I guess there's still time for that, but I feel like this might be it. 

Jonathan: Yeah, that's fair. Um, 

Tom: yeah. Yeah. And I, I feel like I'm, I'm happy with it. It's gonna be comfy. Um. That's so important. That's really a selling point. It's 

Jonathan: so important though.

It's so, I think that that's a sign of maturity. I think that it's a sign of, uh, of evolution when you go, like, I can look good in this. I can look sexy. But mainly it's comfy. Yeah. Like I figured out how to, how to be stay comfy all night. I think that's important. We're gonna 

Tom: be on our feet. Yeah, exactly.

You're, you're signing a sex writer. I mean, we're gonna be busy, you know, if you want to see us come to City of Gods on Saturday night. Yeah. Uh, we'll be there. Yeah. Um, I want to get serious for a second. Great. And talk about two things. One, um, one of my aunts passed away. Um, uh, she, we called her Chichi Diane.

[00:10:00] Growing up, she was on my father's side, side of the family, which is Polish. So our aunts were chichis. Okay. Um, and she is not my blood aunt, so she was married to my dad's brother. Um, and they got a divorce years ago. Um, so I actually haven't seen her in, I couldn't even tell you the last time. Um, but when they were married and for a while after they got divorced, she lived up the street from us, like five houses away with one of my younger cousins, Carrie.

And, um, they, she just always had a really fun house. They had a house full of pets. They had an in-ground pool. Um, they were very generous with letting my sister and I come over in the summer. And, um, she, uh, was a big movie fan. So she had, um, she tap taped like all these movies. I think she had HBO and Nice.

Um, so she had like home videotapes of all these movies. Um, and she also had an entire basement full of huge. Bookshelves of books. Wow. She was an avid reader and I was a big reader, and she saw that in me and she fostered it in me. So when [00:11:00] I would go over there, we would go over to swim in the summer, hang out, she would send me home with like a pile of books.

Um, that's cool. She got really into like fantasy writing. Um, and like, just, just like I, she, I mean, I would read like these huge books and I would be like 10 years old reading like an 800 page book. Um, and so she really like. Saw that in me and fostered it and, um, I am so sorry that she passed away. Sorry.

And for my cousin Carrie. Yeah, I'm sorry. Um, yeah, so, and then I also just wanted to mention, and, you know, we don't need to get too much into it, but because we've talked about it in the past, um, that I'm really, um. Cautiously optimistic and heartened by the, um, the, the peace deal in the Middle East. Yeah.

And um, it was really, um, wonderful seeing the news stories today and pictures and videos of, um, the hostages coming home and also seeing, um. Palestinian families reunited and Palestinian families returning home. Yeah. To whatever's left of their home in Gaza. And um, [00:12:00] I, you know, just in the interest of calling balls and strikes, like if this piece peace deal sticks, um, it's a real, uh, it's a real success for the Trump administration and something that they should be proud of.

And, um. I don't quite understand why we didn't have this peace deal a year ago. I think there's a lot to talk about there, um, because the same deal was basically in place last January, but, um, or was being discussed last January. That aside, it's good that it's happening and um, uh, congratulations to the people that made it happen and I hope it sticks.

Jonathan: Yeah. Yeah. Uh, cautiously optimistic sounds right. That's a good, it's very potentially exciting to. I don't know. Yeah. I mean, you, I think you said everything there has to be said about that, uh, for, for this, uh, forever. For hear that you did it. The, the world can stop you. If they had been listening to no homo sooner than, uh, this would all be taken care of.

Yeah. You know, you don't, what I thought about today, this is like, uh. Not th this is a, a, a jump and it's, but because this is [00:13:00] serious stuff that is like a genuinely optimistic, uh, way thing to be optimistic about. And you're right. Like I get weirdly like my, my hackles, right? Is that what it is? Um, hackles?

No, no, not heckles. My, I don't know. Like I get a little social 

Tom: hackles, 

Jonathan: I get a little something. Um, you're right, we should call balls and strikes if they get, if something, if so. Works out. Right. We should be able to say that. And I have a really hard time saying that about this administration. 'cause I still feel like every time there's some bullshit, there's, there's some reason that it's not good.

But I mean, 

Tom: the, the business deals they have going in the Middle East, there's a lot to be suspect about. But it doesn't matter. I mean Yeah, you're right. The hostages are, that's the bottom line. It doesn't matter. Yeah. 

Jonathan: Yeah. 

Tom: Hopefully the bloodshed stopped. 

Jonathan: Yeah. Um, I, what I was. Gonna say as, as we were, um, I, I realized yesterday, and I'm just saying this, uh, wide open.

I kind of miss, um, I miss our TV show a little bit. I miss it Just like that a little bit. Yeah. We never found a new one. We haven't found anything yet. Yeah. And that really scratched a really specific itch. And frankly, [00:14:00] Cynthia Nixon was on, I think she was on, wait, wait, don't Tell Me. Or on something on NPR recently.

Um, and they were talking about it. And at first I was like, blah. And then I realized, oh, I. I miss it. I missed that. I missed the spot that that held. 

Tom: We could always go back and watch the original series and, and you could experience it. I think maybe there's something there. I think, I think maybe there's something there.

Let's, let's, let's, let's re retreat. Uh, my people will call you a pe your people and we'll see. We'll see if it allows. I told 

Jonathan: you we've talked about it. I watched the pilot after an episode one night. Right. I, it just came on next and I was like, okay, let's do this. And yeah, I, I like, I, for me it fit like an HBO time that was like.

Um, uh, Oz and like, uh, some, some, uh, some of those early stuff where they were like trying to fuck, they were starting to fuck with the way they did things. Yeah. And it was like cool and different and weird, but now it's also like pretty dated, like the way that it looks. Yeah. The style, you know, but like, yeah, I could get into that.

Tom: Alright. 

Jonathan: Um. 

Tom: Have your people call my people. Okay. 

Jonathan: And we'll, we'll strike a deal. All right. We'll strike a deal. What'd you do this weekend? Last weekend I was at a wedding, um, in Connecticut this [00:15:00] weekend. Uh, my kids were the ring bear and flower girl at, uh, a family wedding up in Connecticut this weekend.

And they nailed it. They nailed it. Amazing. They nailed it. Yeah. They were great. Um, they were, they had a great time all weekend. I think they did the, I mean, you know, who knows, I'm probably biased of course, but they did the perfect amount of like. Getting into some stuff and like being cute. For the rehearsal dinner, like the rehearsal, the wedding rehearsal, and then the rehearsal dinner like they were around, uh, Sydney loves, uh, Alyssa was the bride, uh, and loves her, and also clocked like, oh, this is Alyssa's weekend and I love her.

She loves me. I'm gonna go ahead and glue myself to her because that's where the attention is existing. So Sydnee really was like, you know, the, how the often the flower girl is kind of like a mini bride. Like that's the whole kind of thing. It's like a, you know, put her in white and have a rep, whatever, do this whole thing.

And so she just like. Stuck to Alyssa's side the whole weekend, and it was really sweet. 

Tom: I love it. 

Jonathan: I think that, I don't think it was annoying for Alyssa. I think [00:16:00] that she liked it. I think it was really good. And Caleb, like, Caleb was like a, um, a, a mercenary professional performer at this. Like, he came in, did his job, and then like just like fucked off to the corner like it was outside.

So he was like. Fighting with sticks, and then it was like, oh, we're going again. Okay. Like would come back and like, and nailed it. Did a great job, but then was like, did not care at all about what, what else was happening. Amazing. They, they both did great. It was a lot of fun and I danced at this. I, I, I feel something like, uh.

I'm glad that I, I'm glad to have been wrong. I think that I was like getting into this place where like, I can go out with fun people and I can have a good time and I can dance, but, you know, a Connecticut wedding, uh, and then the, you get to the reception like, I'm not really looking for a lot of dancing.

I'm, I'm not expecting this dance floor to get super hot. And it was so much fun. I had so much fun. Uh, the dance floor was. Was hopping for real. And there were some, I saw like some grown [00:17:00] ass relatives that really got after it in, in the best way possible. It was so much fun. We had a really great time.

That's amazing. And my mom was here. She was like in charge of the, the kids. She helped us, you know. Uh, so we sent them home and she, that's what like, I mean, she's such a good grandma, she's such a good grandmother. She, they, she's Amma, uh, and she, I mean she floor, she in that role. So they love spending time with her.

And I think that only because it was Amma were they able to leave. The party. They, you know, also we talked to the, uh, caterers and said, can we get a bag of desserts? 'cause the kids gotta go, but they're gonna freak out if they don't get any of those desserts. So, yeah. Yeah. Uh, it worked out. It worked out really well.

Um, I got some great footage. I'll try to post some stuff, but it was really fun. It was a fun wedding weekend. Yeah. 

Tom: That's good man. We, uh, we last week saw Saturday Church at New York Theater Workshop. Mm-hmm. Uh, new musical, uh, obviously New York. The theater workshop is where rent. Um, was born. Um, and, uh, this is a musical, um, about, uh, based on a documentary that the [00:18:00] documentary is about a church on Christopher Street that for decades, I think now has been doing a program called Saturday Church for, um, uh, city, uh, youth, um, L-G-B-T-Q, um, black, brown, white.

Um, transgender, whatever, and it's like a, a Saturday night program, a place for them to all go and be together. And it's supposed to be in this amazing program. And, um, so, uh, a musical is created and the music is by Sia, uh, with additional music by Honey di Jean. Hell yeah. Uh, so the music, the score was like.

Popin. Uh, so it was like a real dance scorer, which you very rarely see. Um, and uh, it was pretty good. It was a pretty good show. We, we loved it. The lead, the lead guy has a voice like you wouldn't believe. Um, so yeah, so it was pretty exciting. Awesome to see 

Jonathan: is there is, I mean, I, I know whatever, but do you know, is there, uh, talk of anything else?

Are they just, you know, doing it, see what happens? Is there Yeah. 

Tom: I mean, no. I mean, I'm sure that the goal is to [00:19:00] go to Broadway, but I haven't heard anything. Yeah. I mean 

Jonathan: the goal that APEC was always to go to Broadway too. Yeah, right. We'd do shows in a church basement. Astoria. Totally. They're gonna go to Broadway and assume we were gonna transfer.

Yeah. 

Tom: Um, but the, it would be fascinating if it did go 'cause catch just announced that it's going in April. Yeah. So, um, this musical also has ballroom elements, so it'd be like. Two ballroom musicals, um, like, you know, um, ball Gay. Ballroom. Ballroom. Yeah. 

Jonathan: Yeah. 

Tom: Um, so do you wanna take a moment? Have we 

Jonathan: done that?

I, I feel like we did it in, in a test episode. Do you, for the little bit of audience that might not know that, do you want to give a quick, uh, quick what, uh, uh, uh, gay ballroom, like what that. N it's not ballroom, it's 

Tom: Oh. Um, yeah. I mean, I feel like I'm not even gonna do it justice, but, um, gay ballroom culture, I think started in the, definitely in the nineties, but maybe the eighties, late eighties.

Um, and it was originally a, a, a, a black thing, I think. Um, and it was, um, you know, it's, it's like these underground. Dance parties, but it's really like a show. And it was like, um, I, they [00:20:00] would, there would be houses that would compete, um, and you would go and it was about your look, and it was about like who gave the best face And, um, makeup, hair, wigs, looks, shoes, heels.

And it was like, it's strutting like down a runway. And then there's like, I think you can strut against a, again, I'm, I know very little about this, um, but you can strut against another. House someone from another house. Mm-hmm. And it's like 

Jonathan: mm-hmm. 

Tom: It's like a competition. Mm-hmm. And, um, uh, yeah, I mean it's a, it was a big part of it is it was a big part of gay culture in New York and, um, so much of like vernacular that I think even straight people use now originally, uh, like yes, yes.

Queen and mm-hmm. Like all that stuff is from not, not white people. Um, and so, yeah. Uh, cats, you know, the musical cats is all about cats that are. Are, um, competing to go to cat heaven. And so it was like a perfect reinvention of cats 'cause it was a builtin competition. So, [00:21:00] um, we saw that off broad, off off Broadway or off Broadway whenever it was downtown.

And exciting that, that's so much fun. Stuff 

Jonathan: is happening. I feel like there's so many, like inventive. Cool, cool. Yeah, so much cool theater happening right now, which is, yeah, I don't know. A cool side. Like, I think it's, it's fair to say like, all right, we've done this one thing for a long time. Getting a little bit stiff, a little bit.

It's kind of stuffy, which, you know, like, there's obviously something great to be said about traditional musical theater. Traditional theater, but also like, fuck with it. Some like, like do something weird, get weird. Like that's, there's always fun in there. 

Tom: Speaking of getting weird, I challenged you this past week to take, hold on.

Purity test. Hold 

Jonathan: on. I want, oh, did I not put this in yours? Uh, I, I, because it's, it'll be 10 seconds in and out. Oh, sorry. I just wanna say. It's okay. I just, before I wanted, I had one little piece of culture because I was locked into this wedding. I didn't have any culture. But, uh, Amy Poer hosted SNL this weekend and she's just a god.

She's a, she's a, she's a demi god among, among us. She is the funniest person alive. Um, and the fact that she and Tina and and Seth are all still friends and like the, still doing it at the highest [00:22:00] caliber, she, the sketches, I, I honestly was like, is the show, has the show been getting better? Consistently, or did she do this?

She raised the bar and make it like, the sketches were weird, but in a fun way. And she, like, I, I just, we've also been rewatching Parks and Rec. So like to look, to go back and see just what a, what a god among us she is that I just wanted to give Amy Po a quick shout up. Yeah, sure. That's all. Now we can get into it.

We can get into the next. 

Tom: Okay. So last week we took our Kinsey score tests. Yes. And it made me think of when I was in high school in the, uh, late nineties. Yeah. Uh, I graduated in nineties. I'm not, I'm not gonna say how old I am. Late nineties. Um, there was a thing floating around, at least where I grew up.

I don't know about you, but, uh, it was a purity test and it was like, uh, it was, it was, uh, printed on paper 'cause there was no email. Yeah. Yeah, then and um, like you, you only got it if you knew someone that had it or someone would have it and make a copy in the photo photocopy in the library and you would pass it around and it was a hundred questions and you would tabulate your score.

[00:23:00] Um, and however many. You said, the questions you said yes to was your purity score. Um, and so the lower your score was, the more pure you were and the higher it was, the less pure you were. And so it was scandalous and the questions were like about sex and drugs and um, like all kinds of. Yeah. All kinds of things.

Skin, all kinds of stuff. Yeah. And, um, I remember taking it and, um, so anyways, we did the Kinsey test and I thought it'd be fun to reveal our scores, 

Jonathan: our purity test scores. Yes. Yeah. Three. So we're saying the number We're good. The number? Yes. 1, 2, 3, number 1, 2, 3. Okay. And, okay. Ready? Are you ready? Yeah. 1, 1 1 2 2 3 86.

Oh.

Tom: Whoa. I'm pure than you. How is I am gonna go What? 

Jonathan: I need to see your test. Yeah. Wow. I'm confused too. How is that? Because a bunch of mine are, well, I just might have [00:24:00] more on the straight side of things. Yeah. Because a lot of it was person of your sexuality. Yeah. Have more on the 

Tom: gay side of things. Yeah.

Jonathan: Yeah. I, no, because 

Tom: that side's the same for both of us. 'cause the questions are the same person. Yeah. 

Jonathan: But, but you. No, I don't know. You do have more, uh, uh, on the, you have more on the opposite side on the sex that you're not into 

Tom: Yeah. Than I do, so, yeah. Yeah, we can fix that. But still, your score's already higher than me.

Jonathan: Yeah. Wow. So I marked my, uh, the ones that I did not. That I, that I said no to. 'cause it was easier to find the 14 that I did not have than the, you know, 86 that I did. Um, jail stuff. I've never been arrested. I've never been convicted of a crime. Same, same. Yeah. Um, I've never, uh, I've never had or, uh, uh, facilitated an abortion.

Um, I've bought Plan B next morning. I've done that part, but I've never, uh, been a part of an abortion. Um, never committed statutory rape. Um, same, never, uh, accepted proposition from a sex worker. But I've been propositioned and I same. Yeah. Um, [00:25:00] uh, I have never accepted a proposition from a man, uh, which will be the opposite.

Yeah. I'm sure you also had that one. I've never accepted a proposition from the sex. I'm not into, um, I have been propositioned by. Mm-hmm. Like it would be women for you. I'm sure that like maybe you said, I don't know. Uh.

You love. What else? Uh, experimented before puberty was one that was like, kind of funky for me because like I didn't do a lot of the like a, like a lot of like play doctor or like whatever kind of stuff. I didn't do that stuff. Did you do that, that kinda stuff when, like before, 

Tom: yes, but not like, um, never with clothes off, like.

But definitely like playing doctors. Yeah. Can you talk about 

Jonathan: it? Like, what'd you do? Like, because I, I know some people that like, well, that was like their sex playing, like, 

Tom: yeah. 

Jonathan: Children, so forgive them, you know? Of course I get it. But like, they were like playing naked doctor. Yeah, 

Tom: it was, uh, no, it wasn't naked, but it was like lay down in bed and one person was the doctor and one person wasn't, and it was like.

You know, like checking. Yeah. 

Jonathan: But was it, did it get to [00:26:00] anywhere? Like, because that's pretty, like check your reflex in short, I played doctor, like 

Tom: Yeah. Like, you gotta wait in 

Jonathan: the waiting room and, and pay a, a copay. But like, like, no, I mean like that's, 

Tom: but 

Jonathan: that is, wow. But we, I mean, we played doctor the same way that we played construction work the same that we played Army.

It wasn't like. The parts. It wasn't about the sex of it, but I know some people who are using doctor. Uh, like that's kind of the cliche, right? That's that's the go-to. Like, do you 

Tom: know about, um, vampire Physical Therapists that I play with Qua? 

Jonathan: Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you should tell the world. Have I, have I ever played it with you?

No, no. But you've, you've, uh, acted out. You've acted it out for me before. Okay. Yeah. So, yes, but no, we've never been, we've never both been in character before. But you've played the whole thing out for me. So go ahead and explain to the world. Should I, 

Tom: well, I mean, at this point you have to, yeah. It's just like, um, with my fiance sometimes I, we role play that.

I'm like a, like a, like a sports physical [00:27:00] therapist, like for the team. And also because he was a 

Jonathan: basketball player, a very, he's a basketball player, a very accomplished basketball player. So it's like, 

Tom: um, I noticed that he hurt himself on the court. And so now it's like post-game or we're like on the bench and I'm like.

Massaging him. And I'm like I say, it's always like, I, I saw what happened out there. Like that's always the first line. I'm 

Jonathan: always like, wait, before 

Tom: you go further. Yeah. How, 

Jonathan: how detailed does the setup improv get? Are you like, uh, the 

Tom: setup is everything. When I watch porn, it's all about the setup to me.

Like, I frequently will watch like setups on porn and then jump to the next 

Jonathan: set. No. 

Tom: Yeah. 

Jonathan: Is, but 

Tom: the acting is, it's horrible. It's so bad. There's nothing. Need the story. I need story. So, um, oh, look who's here. 

Jonathan: Who's here? What if Quanda stood up? Now what if that was, what if that was Quan down there? Then 

Tom: she can be quiet.

Um, so we, um, I, I'm like, I, I saw that you hurt yourself out there and, uh, and he's like, he, he, he kind of plays like, he [00:28:00] doesn't want it to happen because he maybe doesn't want it to happen. Anyways, long story short, I'm like, I'm like talking to him and I'm trying to like see if I can help him feel better and then like.

In a split second, I turn into a vampire and I like try to like bite his calf. Do you, and it, it gets scary. Like I flip turns scary. What's set up, turn into a 

Jonathan: vampire? Are you like, oh no, the full moon? Or is that, is there anything or you just go that, you just go to it? Um, 

Tom: you know what, there's this weird part where I'm like, I'm like, oh, what's happening here?

And then I try to figure it out and I, I. Like the tell that I'm about to turn is I like, listen to the muscle

and then, and then it's like the second I hear the muscle, then it's like, I, I flip. Oh, you can't, you can't 

Jonathan: stop. You can't be, you can't be restrained. We should, we, you should experience it. I think that I fully understand that game. I mean, I, I get that. I get the. Just the loss of the, you know, when once you hear a muscle, it's hard to control yourself.

It's hard to control yourself that, that muscle's literally asking for it. It's hard to control yourself once you know that muscle wants [00:29:00] it. 

Tom: Well, I, I, back on topic. I was, I was so proud to like. Own my non pure score today compared to what it was in high school, because when we were doing it in high school, I was so ashamed of my score based on, compared to everybody around me because I wasn't really, I, I hooked up with a couple girls, um, but.

I wasn't like sexually active in high school the way my straight friends were. And so everybody's scores were higher than me. Mm-hmm. And I always felt such a fucking loser. Um, and so I was so excited today to be non pure and you beat me, you fucker. 

Jonathan: And I really don't know, uh, where I'd be so interested because you're, Hey, I don't want you getting in your head about this.

You're not pure at all, buddy. You are. Thanks man.

Thank you. I mean, I, if we, if we really went through it, my, my mother would have to listen and I think she would be disgusted. So I'm just, I think this, I think that you can feel good [00:30:00] about. Thank you. Uh, your lack of purity. Um, thank you. I, I'm also surprised by that there's, 'cause I'm, because there's a lot of.

Uh, there's a lot of ways in which the actions of my life have been pretty prudish. Like my, I don't have, I gotta, I got a fuck up mind like everyone else does, and I can talk about stuff and I can, you know, whatever. But like the actual things that I've done in my life are like, stays in a generally contained kind of space, you know?

Mm-hmm. Um, so yeah, I don't know where I snuck past you. Do 

Tom: you and Jen have any like vampire physical therapist type? 

Jonathan: Uh, recurring scenarios. No. No. Except for, because, because our, our All right. Well, yeah. Um, uh, it'll be Thursday before she hears this, so I've gotten till then to figure out how to navigate the, or insert edit here.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll see. No, because we have a very real life role playing situation as parents, which sometimes we do. Uh. [00:31:00] It's, you know, we find, we find times and ways to get it in while the kids are, uh, doing stuff upstairs, downstairs, in, in a slightly different room. You know, like sometimes it's get them distracted for a couple minutes and then it's like, we're on the clock.

We got, we got until, oh wow. You know? Um. So that's like the closest I think we, uh, get to like, uh, role playing anything specific. It's like we we're, we are, we're on the clock right now. The kids are gonna, wow. You know, they're gonna notice we're not around at some point. So wait, let's go get this in real quick, which is, yeah.

Super hot. Um, and sometimes, wait, yeah, I can't go any further right now. 

Tom: And 

Jonathan: we're back from the edit here.

Tom: Did you guys have the purity test in high school? I don't know, had you heard of it? 

Jonathan: I don't think this one made it below the Mason Dixon or not to Alabama. Um. We, uh, we, I don't remember this. What I do remember a lot of, and this was as soon as email and the internet had come out, as soon as, like, [00:32:00] everyone kind of had it in that first like Wild West when, when everyone had it and everyone was like.

Fucking with it and fucking up with it big time. Like, like, you know, I, I feel like that's what's so funny about like old white politicians these days who still don't know how to like, delete their emails and they get caught doing stupid shit 'cause they don't know how a computer works. Mm-hmm. Like, that was my high school, uh, experience with computers.

We had a, um, what were those? Uh, iMac, is that what the computer was called? The, like the bubble, the when, when Apple was first making the moves, like, we're gonna be cool. That weird bubble kind of colored computer. Um, we had one of those and we had internet pretty early. Um, and what we, what I remember is there'd be like surveys that went around and it was, it'd be like.

I don't know, 30, 50 questions. And you would just answer them. It wasn't, yes, no, it was like you would put in whatever answer, but then they, they would start to get funny. People would like, I would fuck around with the answers and like try to make 'em funny. And that got me in some trouble because I don't know how to.

Delete things. I don't, I don't know what the paper trail of the [00:33:00] computer is at this point. I don't know any of it. So I'm like sending these emails that has, uh, like foul language in it. And that's like talking about the girls that I've hooked up with and stuff. And like I'm answering questions in funny ways that, you know, like are aggressive ways and.

That I'm getting talked to. It's kinda like the, um, the security camera over the, over in the living room. Like, um, except for actually shout out to mom if you've made it this far in this episode. Uh, shout out to you. Uh, so my dad's approach was, uh, Jonathan, you know, we have cameras, right? Hmm. Great. And that was it, right?

Mm-hmm. And she came, it, it was not at all that with her, it was, what have you been doing on this computer? Do you know that your chi, your, your, your brother and sisters small children could have been on there to see this next? I was like, oh, man, that's, so, that's what I remember. It was like, just like long surveys, and the surveys were kind of boring.

But the way to have fun with it was to have fun with it, to, to, to be funny with the answers. But no, I don't know anything about it. This is like one big game [00:34:00] of, uh, never have I ever Yeah. Which was its own kind of like that. It's so weird and funny to think about high school and to think about how embarrassing it was to be on the never side of, never have I ever like same kinda like, like I'm too pure.

Like I'm not. Uh, everyone knows I'm not doing the fun, the cool things, the, the risky things or whatever. You know what? I, I don't know. Like when did you, like, what was that push for you? Were you, you weren't hooking up with dudes in high school. Really? You, you had a lower, a higher purity score eventually, 

Tom: but not even in high school.

Like out guys I knew from doing theater. 

Jonathan: Yeah. Yeah. Even but in the high school age, like of, of high school or? No, like, not even until, yeah. Yeah. I was still in high school. Yeah. Yeah. 

Tom: Yeah. 

Jonathan: Because I was a virgin till college, I did not have sex. I, you know, like, and that was the thing that my was, I had one on one hand I had like the church that was convincing me that true love weights.

And so I was like, felt okay about it. But then I was at school and it was like, [00:35:00] honestly. And now that I'm an adult, I'm looking at these high schoolers and I'm like, you are children. Maybe don't be fucking around that much. Like you're, you're still very young. Like, you know. Yeah. But at the time I was definitely like the prude, like I was, it was known that I was a virgin.

Like I, you know, like it was kind of a. Uh, uh, that you got made fun of for it? Yeah. Not made fun of. I don't think that I, I don't know how much of it was me feeling self-conscious about it and how much of it was actually coming from anyone else, because I wasn't getting made fun of it. My, I wasn't getting made fun of for it, but it, it always felt like I was on the outgroup of that kind of.

Conversation. You know, there, there was so much that I didn't know that I hadn't experience yet. Do 

Tom: you look back with regret or No. About when you did? 

Jonathan: No. I mean, no, I don't know. The regret that I looked back with is how much I cared about what other people thought in high school. Yeah. Well, yeah, of course.

Like that's what I would change. Yeah. When someone I, and I don't think it ever, I understand why this would never stick, but whenever anyone asks me, uh, what advice I would give to a teenager. I just say like none of it matters as much as you think it does, none of it, [00:36:00] all the stuff that's worrying you right now, and that's not gonna stick.

I get it, but like I can't help but say like, it doesn't. All of the things that that matter so much to you right now. It's so true though. Yeah. It's like, that's what I would say. A buddy of mine said at best one time, he was like, I would never even put on pants in high school if I knew what the rest of life brought.

Like who gives a shit? Yeah. Yeah. But it's so important at the time. It's all such a, I don't know. And it's not like I was just high school. It's like once you get into the social setting of school at all, like by, yeah. I don't know, second, third grade, like I'm, the, the, the dynamics of the social dynamics are like exhausting and just so anxiety.

Yeah, for sure. I dunno, will you change schools too young like that? I mean, you Yeah. Also you, not too young. To also you changed schools young. 

Tom: Uh, yeah, I think I understand what you're saying. Um, we, um, I grew up in a neighborhood when, when I, my sister and I were first growing up, the neighborhood we were in had no other kids.

So, um, I was like kind of a, I, I learned to play alone or. Played with my sister and [00:37:00] like we would go hang out with our cousins, but we didn't have like neighborhood kids. Mm-hmm. Um, and then we moved in second grade to a new neighborhood with lots of kids, but we stayed in Catholic school, so we would see all these kids on the street and we didn't know them.

Jonathan: Mm-hmm. Um, 

Tom: and then a year after that. They broke the news to us that they were gonna have us go to the public school, and my sister like took to it like a fish in water. She, uh, my sister was always like, really good looking and, um, always popular and just, I mean, she's, 

Jonathan: she's pretty cool. Yeah. So she's pretty good looking and cool.

Yeah, 

Tom: totally. And so she, she made friends very easily and I did not, um, we also like went from wearing a uniform every day at school to suddenly being in. Public, uh, public school where you, you were putting it and it was just like fourth grade for me where what you dressed like started to matter. 

Jonathan: Yeah.

And the 

Tom: really fucked up thing is we had, we had this, these family friends, uh, a couple that my parents knew. My dad went to high school with the, the mom, and then they were, they had a daughter that was my age. She was born [00:38:00] Carrie. She was born like two weeks before me. Um, and we grew up going to the same, um.

Preschool and we always hung out with them. We loved them, loved them. Um, they, they had a lovely house with a pool. My sister and I learned how to swim in their pool. Um, so many pools in all these neighborhood. So many pools, so many carries so many pools. Many, I told two stories today about two carries, two pools, two carries, um, spelled differently, but um.

Yeah. Um, we, we loved them and, um, still do, but they, Carrie, uh, they, they had, they were a two income family, both of her parents. Mm-hmm. She, she was the only kid and both parents worked. Mm-hmm. My mom was a stay-at-home mom until we were in middle school. She started to go back to work, so we were a one income family, so they had like.

A more money than us. 

Jonathan: Yeah. 

Tom: And like their house, they had the same, and at the time it felt like they were like so much further ahead of us. Looking back now, they had the same house as us. Yeah. It was the same architecture. Actually the same. Was it like in my neighborhood? It was the same. 

Jonathan: There's four houses.

They're all just, it's the same house they had. Yeah. 

Tom: Yeah. All the houses looked the same. They did have a pool. Yeah. [00:39:00] And like all the furniture was nicer inside. Yeah. Yep. It was just like, so she dressed really well. This Carrie, um, like they, they went to the gap. She always looked good. And as she would grow, she was a year.

Older than my sister. Ugh. So they'd come over with fucking bags of fucking gap clothes. My sister wore something new every day for her entire time in school. And this went on all the way through high school. 

Jonathan: And 

Tom: I'm over there in my one pair of ugly corduroys and like, ah. It was just like, oh man, the shame.

I felt so much shame going to school in my clothes in public school. 

Jonathan: I'm sorry. That's so, yeah, I know that like. Uh, as an adult man, I'm kind of like, uh, one of the things I get down on my, one of the things that I want to do better, one of the things that I wanna do better is like, not. Perseverating on the unfairness of the world because like the world happens, it's sang in your eye.

It's fucking, you gotta just deal with it the way you deal with it. But man, some things are just so unfair. And I, yeah, you just gotta take a minute and go, man, that's fucking not fair. [00:40:00] That's, that's not fair. Yeah, that's that. Just That sucked. Yeah. Sucked. I, I was actually like, it's funny you like uniforms.

I had never, I always thought it was like, I always thought it was, there was, it was, there was a real negative connotation to uniforms and since I've been in New York and since Jen works in the public school system, like uniforms make a lot of sense because it, it takes that part out of it. Yeah. You don't have to worry about income, you know, it doesn't matter.

You don't get to, you don't, you don't get to create your social status based on how expensive your. The clothes your parents buy for you are totally, you know, like, so I get that part and that sucks, man. I, I was in a similar way, like, I would have like Jordans that were two or three years older, you know, like I would get that, there'd be new shoes for me.

Like I didn't have anyone to handing down good stuff either. I, so like, I would be able to get the brand. That I wanted 'cause that's what was happening. But not at all the new one, like whatever one was on sale. 'cause it was old. 

Tom: Yeah, yeah. 

Jonathan: Same kind of thing. Like looking back, it's like, I don't know, part of it is like just the, the self, I don't know, the anxiety or whatever goes into it, but [00:41:00] like thinking everyone else's house was cooler and more fun and Yeah.

You know. 

Tom: Totally. 

Jonathan: I dunno. Did you have a 

Tom: hangout house? Did people come hang out at your house or? 

Jonathan: Yeah, and I, in fact, actually, uh, my house, not for me a little bit for like the, like the, some of the church group we could hang out at my house for my brother and my sisters. I think my house did become like a good hangout house.

Mm-hmm. Um, and it, it was a good house for hangouts. It just like, I also recognize that my, and maybe this fits in the unfair category my family got. R wealthier every time one of us moved out. So I was the oldest of four. Like when I was growing up, there were six of us. Mm-hmm. In this house. Like we had, uh, dual income, but like that dual income was like making sure we survived as six.

And then I left and it's five and then my brother left and it's four. And then, you know, eventually it's just three of you're gonna college. 

Tom: Isn't that adding to it? 

Jonathan: N No, no. I got a, I got a full ride baby. I got a presidential scholarship to Belmont University. Nice. Yeah. Nice. Which is a whole thing we can talk about.

Um, [00:42:00] uh, I did get that and the, my dad always would laugh about, uh, he always said, he, he said to them like, uh, the orientation after I'd been given this one of four scholarships that we giving out every year. From the, from the presidential board. I got a full ride books, meal plan, all of it. Um, and he said, my dad said to one of the guys on the, on the board, on the committee, uh, what's the minimum GPA requirements for a presidential scholar?

And the guy was like, oh, we find our presidential scholars don't need minimum requirements. They, they're motivated, they're self-motivated to succeed. And my dad was like, well, you just. Gave away a hundred thousand dollars. I don't know what I, I graduated with the degree in musical theater with a garbage GPA.

He was right. He was not wrong about that. It was like a passing GPA with, I thought you got degree grades, musical grades, like in high school. No, I did in high school. I didn't a, I didn't make an A until middle. I mean, I'm sorry I didn't make a B until middle school and I never made a C in high school. I think I made a CI made all A's all the time.

And in college I was just like. Boom. Yeah, yeah. Stopped. [00:43:00] So he just knew that was coming. Yeah. He knew that was coming. Interesting. He, he was not, he was not wrong. He could see that, and I, I give him credit for that. Um, and if there had been a minimum, I'm sure I would've met it. But since there wasn't, I was like, I'm gonna get to do this no matter what.

Yeah. Yeah. All right, cool. Well, let's go, let's go. Yeah. My Duke at musical theater, like, you know, and at this point I wish I could look back at. Teenage me and I and say like all of that social anxiety doesn't matter nearly as much. Learning how to learn and learning how to fucking focus. Yeah, the grades don't even matter that much, but learning how to do a thing like.

Not worrying so much about how it looks to anyone else and not worrying so much about what kind of clothes you have on or whatever, but learning the skills that you gotta learn in Element. Element. Dude, elementary husband, dude. I'm still dealing with 

Tom: it though. I'm dealing with it with this podcast. I mean, remember what a mess I was when we started like, 

Jonathan: yeah, 

Tom: I still worry about all that shit, don't you?

Yeah. Or no? Well, 

Jonathan: yeah, I mean, I think it's funny that I do, I do in like. More, I worry more about the things that don't matter as much still. Like I, so I can talk to my high school self this way, but I don't [00:44:00] mind talking. I, I, you know, trying to, I, I want to bear my soul out here, but then I'm like, my teeth aren't very white.

So that's what people are gonna notice in these clips. So if they're on YouTube, they're gonna be like, ah, he does not widen his teeth. You know, like, that's what I worry about. Yeah. Not, not like, oh, he has whatever he's resolving issues with his mom, but like, oh, he. He should whiten his teeth. You know, like that's where I That's very silly.

That's where I end up. Yeah. But you, you have fears. Your fears I think are more grounded in, I, I'm not gonna speak for you. What are your fears? In fact, now that we're a horny teenager at 17 episodes, what, what are your fears or how do you base those? How do you, how can you calibrate those first fears, uh, 

Tom: for the podcast versus now?

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, um, yeah. I mean, I think. That they've calmed down a bit. Um, but I still, I mean, I, I, it's like, are are people gonna judge us? Are people gonna, are people like laughing about the podcast behind our backs? Are we making, does it help clowns of ourselves? 

Jonathan: Does it help? [00:45:00] And the answer, I, I think that, just be honest.

Does it help that people really do? Like, you get noticed, you get noticed in the world, you get like. 

Tom: I mean, like four times it happened. Sure. 

Jonathan: But like it happens. Yeah. We're only 17 episodes in and we, you get noticed. We don't have a huge, I and I fucking love it dude. When I'm in, when I'm in Long Beach Island for, I was in Long Beach Island this summer, Uhhuh and stepped outside of a, of a arcade to make a phone call.

I had to call my psychiatrist so I could get my fucking. Prescriptions refilled. I'm like, on the phone. I need my A DHD medication and my antidepressants and I'm on the phone trying to get this, this shit done. And somebody walks by and she's like, this woman, young, young woman, like with a family, but like, I mean like an adult, but a young adult woman, like, stop by like's, like, stop.

And she goes, Hey, I know you. I, I like your stuff. And walked away. And I, I just was like. Alright. Okay. Oh, okay. 

Tom: Yeah, no, it feels good. It feels good. I'm not gonna lie. 

Jonathan: Yeah, but that stuff like, doesn't I, I don't know. Yes, there's a worry when it [00:46:00] goes out there. What's gonna go wrong? Like I irrelevance is more worrisome for me than, than, yeah, that's some, like far, like I look at my daughter, Sidney.

And Jen will say to me all the time, like, she's acting out so that she gets a reaction. She needs a reaction from you. If you don't give it to her, she's not gonna do that shit. And I think that I'm still at 43. The same way the, the worst thing that can happen is a lack of reaction is an irrelevance. But if I make you mad, great.

Like, I feel like I, great. I did it. I get, I'm getting attention. 

Tom: Yeah. See, that's, we're so different in that way. I definitely don't, I've never experienced, I've never, I, I don't, I hate when people are mad at me. Hate it, hate it, hate it. It doesn't matter who you are. I don't want people to be mad at me. No. I do everything I can to prevent that.

Um, uh, which is not healthy either. So I think I, both of us are on opposite ends there. Uh, but you know. But at least we solved Gaza 

Jonathan: tonight. We so at least we did that. We, and you're 

Tom: less pure than me and I'm pissed about it. [00:47:00] 

Jonathan: That's right. I, I agree that there's, I mean this, we can say, I think that one of two things can be true.

Uh, my, there's. It's possible my math is bad and also like, no, this test is whatever you, no, 

Tom: no, no. 

Jonathan: I believe you, sweetheart. Don't worry. You are way less pure than I am. Oh, thank 

Tom: you. Promise. Well, you know what it's time 

Jonathan: for. I do. 

Tom: Who would you fight? Who would you fight? Powow. 

Jonathan: Wow. It was a little, yeah. What was it?

Just, was there a motivation behind it or just love it? I love it. I love when it's jazz. I love when it's jazz. It's jazz. Just, just whatever comes out, you go first. Okay. Uh, I would like to fight, uh, Bobby from K-pop, demon hunters, the, the band's manager. Um, and if you don't know K-pop demon hunters, then I'm not gonna take time to help you out here.

But, uh, you don't. It's a movie that all the kids are into. It's the, like, the most watched Netflix film ever. Um, and the music is fucking all bangers all the time. Uh, and it really is. Even like Dr. Becky is talking about how it's, it's not about the, it's, it's about [00:48:00] shame. It's about like fears. It's about exactly this, and I didn't even do this on purpose.

Holy shit. It's about the fears that you have that no one else is gonna care as much about as you do. Uh, but it like can rule your life to be the, to be like the shame and the fears that you have that you expect everyone else to see that they don't. Is like, you know, that's what it, that's what the whole story's about.

That's K-Pop Demon helmet is about, wow. I'm impressed. But it's also about a K-pop band. And their manager, Bobby works 'em too hard. He's actually, the problem with his story, the demons are whatever the demons get, get beat. But Bobby Capitalist, capitalist pig. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. He's the problem. So I wanna fight Bobby.

Tom: I wanna fight. Um, the, uh, I've been trying to think about how to phrase this for a while. Um, it's something I notice in the gay community, um, which is there are it. Um, people, guys in the gay community that it feels like they're trying to sleep with everyone in the community as if they're collecting Pokemon cards.

Like they just wanna check you off the [00:49:00] list. Do you know what I mean? And, um, I, I, I wanna fight. I don't wanna fight the guys that do that. I want to fight the. Urge that they have inside that makes them think that they need that. Mm-hmm. To validate themselves. Mm-hmm. Because I know plenty of amazing guys that I think could do this.

Um, and I feel like I have definitely been guilty in my past Yeah. Of like hooking up with a guy because I like, it was like, oh, like. This is someone that I admired and now he's showing interest in me. Yeah. So let me hook up with him and, and be able to say I did and I've worked really hard over the last couple years to like move on from operating that way.

And um, you know, we've already talked to, uh, Quan and I are in an open relationship, so I do hook up with other people and I enjoy it. And, but I just try to be a little bit more, um, deliberate about who and when and why. And that is not to say I take. You know, ample time to meet and have conversations and get to know, though I often do, and I, I prefer getting to know [00:50:00] someone a little bit before.

It could also mean that it's just like an instinctual, momentary thing that happens on a dance floor, but there's got, it's gotta be like, in that case it's gotta be really chemical. Like a chem, like I see the guy and there's a chemical thing and like, yes, I want that physically, not well, the problem with that, but not, I wanna scratch that off a list 

Jonathan: because that validates you.

That's like an external validation. Like I, I, you know, that's the thing I deal with in therapy. Like I don't do it that way anymore. But I'm very aware that like when I was single, I didn't really think of myself as that hot or didn't think of like whatever it was. I was like, what if I'm hooking up with hot girls?

The math of this tells me that I'm doing okay. Yeah. So let me get this, like, lemme do this calibration from the external validation here of getting like figured out. I have to take outside sources to feel okay about me. 

Tom: Yeah. 

Jonathan: And you know, there's better ways to, there's healthier ways to do that. So yeah.

We're not gonna fight the individuals doing it, but you wanna fight the, the urge that the urge the deep down, 

Tom: um, K-pop demon, this is really just 

Jonathan: because you've been, people are now, because now. Fucking Tom is way high up on the list. Fucking no. [00:51:00] Homo Tom is way high up on everyone's list. No, it's it. And you're like, ITSM i's not, you're like, I'm not a piece of meat.

Everyone. Get outta here. It's stop, stop, stop coming me to check it off. Check your box. 

Tom: It's not at all the case. That's not at all the case. I wish, I wish, I wish I was fighting them off. No, no, no, no, no. Which it's just kind of like, it, it cheapens the interactions a little bit. I'm, I'm looking for some, let's have a real talk.

Or no talk. Or no talk. We get chemical or not talk. Yeah. Shut up. Shut up. Read the outro. I'm, oh shit. 

Jonathan: Okay. Thanks for listening. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to like and subscribe to No Homa with Jonathan and Tom on all podcast platforms and YouTube graphics and music by Matt Ladner. And a gracious thanks to Jen Dornbach and Quan Williams.

The opinions expressed on this podcast are solely those of the hosts and are intended for entertainment purposes only. 

Tom: It's pretty good. Not bad. Pretty good. B minus. Yeah. What? 

Jonathan: Love you. What are you talking about? I externally validate me better than that. Love you. Bye. [00:52:00] Love you. Bye.