Keep the Homo in No Homo

Daylight Savings hits hard, the holidays are looming, and to top it off, the boys get hit with some major “No Homo” heartbreak. Jonathan and Tom process their seasonal slump, crowdsource a path forward, and Jonathan explains why Tom has basically been his guru for fifteen years and counting.

Transcript

Tom: [00:00:00] What's up? What's up?

What's happening? We did it. 

Jonathan: We did it. This is no Homo with Jonathan and Tom. I'm Jonathan. 

Tom: I'm Tom, and this is episode number 20. 22 decades of episodes. Wow. 

Jonathan: Wow. Two decades of episodes. We did it. We did it 

Tom: 2, 2, 2 week decades, what? 20 weeks? 20 weeks of episodes. We're recording this on episode Monday, November.

No, we're recording this episode. 

Jonathan: Yeah. 

Tom: Yeah. Why yikes. Monday, November 3rd. Monday, November 3rd. Yeah, I'm a little out of it, bro. I hate this time of year. 

Jonathan: Yeah, it's the worst. It really is the worst. It's the worst. I actually, it's not, what's the worst is, is four months from now. We've been in this garbage for four months.

Yeah. But yeah, this is the first week of daylight savings. It's the, it's dark at. 3:00 PM It's like, and today was like, it's like the whole, the universe knew it. It's like, sorry guys, today's gonna be gloomy no matter what. It's just a gr [00:01:00] gross day. 

Tom: Yeah. And I, I'm, I'm jumping around a little bit, but, um, I don't like this time of year.

I don't like the holidays anymore. In my old age, I like, I like Halloween, but, um, Thanksgiving, Christmas, new Year's. Major thumbs down for me. Let's do it. 

Jonathan: I've been easier. Why not? 

Tom: Yeah, I know. It's so ba humbug. Um, yeah, I just, I don't like this time of year. I don't like the having no light. Yeah. I don't like the, um, it's a couple things like the Christmas in particulars.

For me is as I get older, it's like the passage of time. Mm. It really becomes very pronounced at Christmas. Mm. Um, I think because you sort of remember Christmas' past and being a kid, and, um, so I don't like that feeling. Yeah. It's like bitter, bittersweet. I don't like it. I, um, I don't like, I don't like all the gifts at Christmas.

I hate. I really just am growing to despise it. I hate how much of my income at the end of the year has to go to. Well, 

Jonathan: do you guys do, have you talked about that at all? Like have you Because, because we have like all of the families that I'm involved with, you know, in-laws, [00:02:00] whatever, whatever, we all have different sets of rules and we like those.

Those are kind of like a living. Set of rules, like every year it's like all, what are we gonna do this year? We're gonna do like a, a secret santa one gift we're gonna do. Only kids, are we gonna do no gifts? What are we gonna do? Yeah. Because exactly that, because we're all fucking working to stay alive here right now.

Like there's no extra money to spend on gifts and like, or you know, whatever. Like the bandwidth of gifts, the money of gifts, all of it is like, 

Tom: oh, the time and the energy and then like. The, the, yeah. We, we have talked about it with my family and, um, we're, we're changing things up this year, but people are not happy about it 

Jonathan: really.

Tom: People, yeah. I can tell people in my family are not happy about it, but it's just like, you know, first of all, my kids, my, my, not my kids, but my nieces and my nephew. Mm-hmm. I, I, I, they're the closest I'll ever have to kids. I adore them. Um, but these kids are, um, very, how like fish and 

Jonathan: chips here. You say that by the way.

Tom: I know. Uh, these, these kids, these kids have everything that they want. They have a very comfortable life. And, um, I'm thrilled that they do. They're growing up to be amazing human beings and, um, they [00:03:00] have a lot of opportunities and I, I just can't wait to see who they become as adults. But I feel every year, like I, I show up with some pathetic little gift and like, it's just like they look at it for two se it's just like, I feel like I'm throwing money away.

Yeah. And then like, um, I, I, you know, it's just like people don't put thought into gifts and like, if I get one more fucking. Gift card to something I'm gonna shoot myself. I just think they're the laziest, like, and I, I'm guilty. I've, I can't tell you how many gift cards I've given outta my life for sure.

And I, I will probably do so again, I'll probably do it at this year for someone, but, um, it's just like, ugh, the whole, it's so capitalist and like blah, blah. 

Jonathan: Yeah. 

Tom: The whole season makes me feel gross. And 

Jonathan: have you ever seen the movie, uh, this will make sense in a second, I promise, but, uh, Donny Brasco. With Johnny Depp and Al Pacino.

He's like an undercover, no, I never saw it. I know what it is. It's, it's a really good movie. It's fun, but like, you know, so Johnny Depp's undercover as like a, a mobster and, uh, but he, there's like a Christmas, uh, Christmas Day is a big part of the movie, and he, and so Johnny Depp and Al [00:04:00] Pacino just trade envelopes of money.

It's like, it's like straight up, like one of them gives the present to the other one and it's just an envelope of cash. And he's like, thank you so much. It's a big deal. And then he gets out of his robe pocket, like, and hands him an envelope for cash and like, oh, thank you so much. It's a funny bit, but that also feels like what it's like a lot of the time now is like, okay, this, this 50 or a hundred bucks or whatever is just gonna like circle around all of us.

And you know, like, you're right. So much of it is like, it's, it's cool if you can be thoughtful, like, and if you can be as thoughtful as possible and like, yeah. Kids are tough and like, you know, we as, as someone with kids we're always like, Hey, can you not get us more stuff? Like we have a small house in New York.

Yeah. We don't have room for stuff. And like, I get it. Grandparents and aunts and uncles want to buy stuff. They want to give stuff, you know? And some, but it's just, it's also like we don't, like, I don't, I don't want more stuff. I don't Yeah. The kids don't need more stuff. We don't have room for more stuff.

Like it's, it's gift giving is tough. It's 

Tom: a weird Yeah. Little plastic things that are gonna outlive. Yeah. Literally every single one of us. Just, yeah. More of it every year under the tree. It's so stupid. I'm just over it. So, yeah. That's. That's where I'm at right now. Happy here. It's 

Jonathan: holiday [00:05:00] season. 

Tom: Happy, happy holiday 

Jonathan: season 

Tom: as I was Santa Claus for Halloween.

Jonathan: Like what? You know what though? Here's what I was thinking and I haven't committed to this yet because right now I'm just living in the suck of this because I also, I hate the time change. I hate, I hate once Halloween's over. Uh, I like Thanksgiving, uh, and. Christmas is kind of its own thing, but, but this, this time right now, I think sucks.

But I'm, I'm toying with the idea, I'm flirting with the idea of being one of those people who starts Christmas, November 1st, just because I kind of wanna like, I kind of want the silly joy for longer. I've always been like, Thanksgiving. Like Black Friday or Thanksgiving is when you start that. And I, I like it, like, I like, I like Christmas carols.

I like the music. I like decorating our house. You know, we do, we celebrate Hanukkah and Christmas. I like Decorat. I like doing all this stuff, but I've always like started at, uh, the day after Thanksgiving. Yeah. And part of me is like flirting with the idea of just like becoming one of those. Cheesy assholes who starts November 1st.

And it's just like my, my mom's texting pictures right now of the trees going up. She's got decorations hanging. She's [00:06:00] got, she has, what a thing with all of our names and there's a bunch of us, you know, and the whole family, extended family, all of our names across the thing. And her, she's got at least one tree up.

She has a. A tree per room, uh, by the time she's done. Oh my God. No. And she's already like deep in it, and I kind of like, I'm kind of fucking with that idea. I kinda like it. Wow. Because just something to like, have it not suck right now. It just, 

Tom: I like, yeah. I like the Christmas tree. I like having the Christmas tree.

I like the light in the winter, but like, uh, I like the Christmas stuff to come down on December 26th. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Like, I, I, I really, uh, but I really hate people that leave their Christmas stuff up to like February. I just think that's. Diabolical. Um, so please don't become that guy. 

Jonathan: I won't be that guy.

I, I, I don't think there's any way, although I can make, I can see the argument on the other side too, but I. The, the, the lead up, the on-ramp to it, the, the anticipation of is much more exciting than, because no matter what, it just feels like it's leftover afterward. Like if you're, yeah, there's nothing to hold onto.

It's, it's fine. It happened, it's, it's over, it's done. Hopefully it was a good time. But like, we often are out of town, like until New [00:07:00] Year, so it's often like the first or second we get it down. But that's only logistically. There's no reason. Like I don't, I don't feel any kind of like, gotta keep it up for any kind of reason.

Uh, I'm with you on that. Like, 

Tom: yeah. 

Jonathan: Yeah, as far as I'm concerned, you gotta, like in New York especially, you gotta buckle up and know that January, February is gonna suck. It's just. Hard here. Yeah. It's, it's a hard time to be here. 

Tom: Great, man. I'm so excited. So 

looking 

Jonathan: forward. Thanks, 

Tom: dude. 

Jonathan: So, yeah, we jumped off the season, we jumped off the episode.

We're, we're in our twenties. We're off to a, a roaring success here. Positive attitudes all around the 

roaring 

Tom: twenties. 

Jonathan: Yeah. Go. 

Tom: Yeah. And also, also we have some, uh, some, yeah. Let's podcast news. Let's 

Jonathan: keep the, let's keep the good news Rolling. Let's keep the good times rolling. Do you 

Tom: wanna break it? 

Jonathan: No, I don't want to You break it.

I don't want 

Tom: to. Uh, we have been, we have been threatened with. Legal action. Mm mm-hmm. Um, because we are, um, not the only podcast, uh, with, uh, our name. 

Jonathan: Yeah. 

Tom: So we are going to have to change our name and so we're very sad. It's about this. It's 

Jonathan: funny how, it's funny how on brand this is because [00:08:00] in true. No homo with Jonathan and Tom Fashion, we did not do, this is on us.

We did not do enough research into trademarks, uh, when we started, and we thought we did, but we turns out we didn't. And so yeah, we, we were gonna have to, well, also 

Tom: there's like a number of no homo podcasts. Yeah. So we just figured like, okay, we could just be another one. 

Jonathan: Yeah. But we didn't get into the deep, like the trademark, like Yeah.

We didn't get far enough into it. And now it's like. Not, not worth fucking with any further than, you know, until all of you out there listening, uh, share and subscribe. And we get a bajillion views next week. And then we make money on sponsors. But until then, we can't really afford to fight for the name, so.

Yeah. 

Tom: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally. Um, so we are, we would love to hear from you guys if you have any ideas for titles. Um, I think we'd love to keep, uh, homo in the title. 

Jonathan: Mm-hmm. 

Tom: Um, so, uh, yeah, we're, we're, you know, hit us up on, um. 

Jonathan: I don't know any of 'em. Whatever. It's Instagrams. Instagram. YouTube. I was trying to look for YouTube comments today, and either we're not getting comments or I don't know how to find them.

Either way is either thing is potentially [00:09:00] viable. Hit us up. I don't know. Yeah, 

Tom: hit us up. Let us know your suggestions. 

Jonathan: Yeah. 

Tom: Um, we'll, we'll be making that change soon and, uh, keep, 

Jonathan: keep the, keep the mo in. No, homo, is that, is that like keep the Christ in Christmas? Keep, keep the homo in. Keep the homo in.

Keep the homo in. No homo. 

Tom: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So we're a little sad about that, but it is what it is and 

Jonathan: we're gonna 

Tom: move forward. Um, 

Jonathan: yeah. Hey, I wanna say that I think that um, we did a good job. You did a good job of helping me remember that. It's, it's us versus everyone else that we are in this together.

'cause I was getting pretty upset the other day when we were talking about it. I was getting mad. I was like, fuck them, let's fight. Fuck it. This is not fucking, who gives a fuck yet? Like, and I was like, and you know, you were the levelheaded one that said, Hey, can we, can we change the timber of this conversation?

And I appreciate that. So 

Tom: yeah, totally. 

Jonathan: Um, you know, thanks for reigning me back in also. 

Tom: Yeah. 

Jonathan: You know, I, if, if, if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. So I'm not gonna say anymore about it. I'm just mad. I'm just mad and sad. There's, you 

Tom: know. Yeah. It's, it's, it is. I'm mad and sad too. It's like, uh, it's, this has been such a labor of love and Yeah.

So, um, it's a bummer to have to, [00:10:00] um, 

Jonathan: yeah. 

Tom: Change it up. And we hope you guys keep listening. If we change the name, please, please don't stop listening. 

Jonathan: Oh, it would be so sad. If, if that's what's, if we lose, if we lose listeners over that the name change, Ugh. 

Tom: Yeah. 

Jonathan: Ugh. 

Tom: Yeah, it'll be fun. 

Jonathan: Um, yeah, 

Tom: it'll be fun.

But yeah. Another news we just watched, um, house of Dynamite. Dynamite. Yeah. Tell about on Netflix. Yeah. Tell, tell. Have you heard about this? 

Jonathan: Yeah, a little bit. Not really much. 

Tom: Yeah. It's the new Catherine Bigelow movie. Yeah. She won, uh, best director for, um, the Hurt Locker. Yeah. Uh, which also won Best Picture, um, first Woman to ever win, uh, Oscar for directing, uh, which is crazy.

Um. And, uh, so it's a new movie. It's, uh, I, I think they did a quick run in theaters to, um, qualify for Oscars, but it's basically a Netflix movie. Yeah. Um, and it's about, uh, a nuclear missile gets, um, shot. Is that the right? Uh, yeah. Lifted off. Launched. Launched a nuclear missile, gets launched. Sling shotted.

Sling shotted 

Jonathan: tossed 

Tom: at, at the United [00:11:00] States. 

Jonathan: Oh 

Tom: shit. Okay. Um, yeah, so, uh, and it's about the 18 minutes of that. News being, um, found out, into, into impact. Uh, it's the way the story's told is interesting. It uses, um, time jumps and storytelling effects to, uh, the sort of like stretch 18 minutes into 

Jonathan: a full movie.

Tom: Yes. Cool. Okay. And so it's a little divisive, or at least it was in this house. Quan did not, uh, love it. He was not satisfied by it. Oh, 

Jonathan: okay. Okay. 

Tom: I did, I mean, the ending is frustrating in a way, but I think that's part of the point. And, um. It definitely is, uh, a call to action because the people in the movie who are in charge, um, Iris Alba is the president.

Jonathan: Okay. 

Tom: Yeah. So woof. If, 

Jonathan: if only, yeah. 

Tom: Yeah. But he is struggling with what to do and how to respond, and it's just sort of eyeopening to like, oh wow, if Adris is gonna struggle, like, how is Donald Trump gonna handle this? This similar thing. Yeah. [00:12:00] Um, so 

Jonathan: it's worth watching. Stringer Bell can't handle it. With easily, without sweating, without breaking a sweat.

How are the, yeah, we're in. We're in trouble. Yeah, we're in trouble. Trouble, yeah. 

Tom: Yeah, 

Jonathan: yeah. All right, cool. Well, that's worth checking out. All right. 

Tom: Yeah. 

Jonathan: Um, what 

Tom: about you? Have you watched 

Jonathan: or seen 

Tom: anything? 

Jonathan: Yeah, I'm gonna get in, get in and get out of this one real quick. Um, last week I was saying we've been catching up on, uh, the morning show and, uh, we were, we were talking about, um, you know, um, I just blanked on her name.

This sucks, but the actress who, uh, left, uh, just uh, and just like that, um, oh yeah. Because of scheduling conflicts and is on the morning show. And not for nothing. And I'm just being, this is such a Debbie Downer so far, but this, this, this season, after we said that last week, it feels like this season's being written by the same ai.

It's getting so fucking weird and like a Oh, no, no, it's, it's not nearly as egregious. It's not, it's not like, it's not even fun. It's not as crazy. It just keeps being like, what? Ugh. So now I'm a little bit bummed out about that. Um, but, uh, we, I mean there's honestly, we keep falling back on Parks and Rec because I just need [00:13:00] like a security blanket sometimes.

And I just think. Amy Poer is, is, is such a gift to the world. Um, uh, and so that's really what we've been up to, what we've been watching. Um, there's not, and the diplomat still, but that's what we talked about that I think for a second before Yeah. Yeah. We finished 

Tom: that last night too. 

Jonathan: Okay. Yeah. We, that's about to take, that's about to take lead again, that.

And, uh, uh, nobody wants this. We started again last night. Okay, so here's the thing about that. Love it. Fun. Think it's doing a great job of relationships in the modern world. Jen, we started the new season last night and she goes, do you? She, uh, she, uh, the only the negative feedback that we had heard from anyone out there is the, like, the kind of tring Jewish women, like the, uh, you know, and so she goes, do you think they're gonna keep doing that this season?

Right before, uh, um, Jackie to came on for the first time in the season and since. Jones's the wife of, uh, yeah. Uh, from the moment she walks on. It's only harpy Jewish wives. It's, it's, it's like a, like overbearing Jewish mom. Overbearing Jewish [00:14:00] wife is like, that's the only joke they've got for that, for those two characters, which is a little bit of a bummer because I like the way that they do the rest of them.

I like the way they do. I feel like Kristen and Adam, it's like they're doing fun things with that and there's like real, 

Tom: I mean, 

Jonathan: relatable stuff. 

Tom: I think the first episode of this season, they have, um, that wife. Like mm-hmm. They have her being a partier and trying to be more fun and they're sort of like calling, calling out the, um, feedback that they've gotten on it.

Jonathan: Yeah. Yeah. She's like awkwardly trying to be more fun. Yeah. And also she's like, don't talk to that woman. Don't talk to that girl except for talk to her. Don't make it weird. Don't talk, talk. Don't, I don't care. Don't talk to her. Talk to her exactly the right amount. And then there's a whole seat, like they're making, they're making fun of it.

They're making fun of it, or fun with it. Yeah. Um, so I maybe that's like the, maybe you're right. They're, they're just like leaning into the feedback, um, which Sure. That's cool. And also like. You know, it's still fun and funny. I just, uh, it, 

Tom: yeah, 

Jonathan: it is one of those, especially in a world right now where like.

Antisemitism is such a thing that we're aware of. Uh, and it either like, you know, it, it's, it happens all the time and people are [00:15:00] trying to be more aware of it and people are trying to call it out. It feels like Jewish women on TV get a bad rap sometimes. It's, it's hard to feel like that's, that's often a go-to, uh, bit.

Um. But that being said, I do like the show. Um, uh, I think that Adam bro is just very sexy. Um, 

Tom: worth. Yeah, for 

Jonathan: sure. I wanna say one thing real quick before, 'cause I know we kind of, uh, all of our Debbie Downer stuff got, uh, us moving forward, but, uh, so last weekend was real Halloween, so, you know. Last, two weekends ago, we celebrated with our big, our big party, but last weekend, this actual Halloween took the kids out and did the whole thing, did the trick-or-treating thing.

Had a Darth Vader and App Princess Anna, and it was excellent. Um, but I, so my, my daughter Sydney, she's almost five, she's pushing five, and we've talked about this before. I, I'm just pretty sure she's gonna be a partier. And Halloween, uh, kind of just solidified that more for me because we were out trick or treating.

And she started like, she powered down hard. She was like. Uh, and, and she'll sometimes do like a [00:16:00] she'll, she'll try to con her way into being carried 'cause her legs hurt or, you know, whatever she needs to ride in the stroller 'cause blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, whatever. But this seemed real. She was powering down hard and she said that her, her belly was bothering her.

And so I, I was carrying her. And then it, it got to the point that I ended up taking her back to our friend's place, um, which was like, kind of a, kind of a long walk from where we were. Um, which made me realize like, I gotta get in better shape because I, like, I'd made it, I made it, but I was like struggling to.

Carry my daughter. She like fell asleep for the, for that walk. She was not in a good place. So I carried her many, many blocks in Queens and, uh, realized I gotta get more fit to be able to do that. Um, but then I got her back and helped her, uh, like I said, like maybe she need to go to the bathroom. And so, you know, helped her out and she pooped.

And, uh, two minutes later, after we got through that, that part was ready to go again. She, it's like, it's like the 4-year-old boot and rally. She, she absolutely, for Halloween, just. Boot and rallied. And so, uh, uh, confirmed she's gonna be the partier. 

Tom: [00:17:00] Amazing. Where did you guys go cook trick or treating? 

Jonathan: Uh, like the 31st Avenue area in Astoria.

Yeah. They like, oh yeah. Closed down. So it's, you know, it's like mostly pedestrian now. Um, so we walked the houses along that way. Um, and then they had a whole little like event set up there and people answer 

Tom: the door. 

Jonathan: Yeah, I mean, you know, it's like you tell when the houses, like if there's, 

Tom: yeah, 

Jonathan: it's, and it's more the townhouses at the end of the apartment.

It's like we don't go, you know, up into apartment buildings. But if people are decorated, and a lot of them at that point, 'cause it's early 'cause we got, they're little kids. We're out at like, not even dusk, we're out at like four. You know, or five. And since it was before the time change, that was an okay time of day to be out.

Tom: Yeah. 

Jonathan: Um, and people, you know, the people are out there and they wanna do it and they're excited to see kids and it's fun and, you know, we're always like yelling down the street at them to say thank you and say happy h we say trick or treat, you know, like all the, all the stuff, whatever. Um, we saw there's a drag show, uh, um, what's her name?

Sparkles Something, sparkles. I don't remember her name, but there's a drag show, uh, like on the hour, every hour over near, uh, 31st Avenue. Um, and so they, [00:18:00] we, we took the kids over there to watch that. Uh, wow. It was really fun. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Uh, so it was a good time. Good, good. Halloween, uh, did you 

Tom: dress up?

Jonathan: Uh, I, a little bit of the Indiana Jones, again, I'll brought it back a little bit. I was gonna just wear my, uh, bandit healer, uh, tank top, uh, tank top, uh, hoodie. Um, that's Blueys dad from Bluey. Oh yeah. I just like, I don't know that reference. Yeah. Um, no, I can tell, I can tell when you don't know what I'm talking about.

'cause you just power all the way down. Um. But I got a request from Caleb to, uh, to pull out Indiana Jones again. So Uhhuh, I did that and it was like, whatever, you know, the parents weren't really, the parents either went real hard and were all the way dressed up in a theme with the whole family or whatever, or not dressed up at all.

And so I was kind of in between and it was fine. I just took the hat off and then I wasn't dressed up. It was no, you know, it was like if I, if I got the hat on, I'm Indiana Jones. If I got the hat off, I'm, I'm just a dad and a jacket. 

Tom: And what was the hot dad quotient of the night? 

Jonathan: Pretty high. 

Tom: Oh, 

Jonathan: good. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, we hang out with mostly hot parents. Like, you know, we like, and [00:19:00] Astoria Queens has got some relatively hot parents. Like it's a pretty good spot to be, I feel like. All right. You know, so, yeah, I would say that the, the hot dad quotient was pretty high. 

Tom: Okay. Approved. 

Jonathan: Yeah. 

Tom: Thanks. Um, I was bummed last week that we didn't talk about the election 'cause we didn't Time Yeah.

When time it, right. 'cause by the time this episode comes out, uh, we should know who our next mayor it is. Yeah. And hopefully it's around Momani. 

Jonathan: Yeah. 

Tom: Um, that's what I'm hoping for. Uh, things are looking good, but, you know, no more counting chickens. 

Jonathan: Yeah. 

Tom: Um, but, uh, I wanted to show you that I, um. I dunno if you can see this.

Jonathan: I can't really it. No, I mean, 

Tom: can you see? No, there's people, yeah. 

Jonathan: Picture the, 

Tom: uh, I'm in, I'm in a Zoan ani ad on Instagram. 

Jonathan: Oh, nice. 

Tom: Okay. 

Jonathan: Okay. Nice. 

Tom: Uh, some, some, uh, someone on Instagram who follows me, who I don't know. So sent this, sent this to me and said, is that you 

Jonathan: on our outline? Under your, your section here, it says Zo add a D, D, add on ig.

Oh, 

Tom: yeah, ID, 

Jonathan: I thought maybe like he followed you. I [00:20:00] was like, did you get a follow from 

Tom: No, but I 

Jonathan: was really waiting for this news to come out. But yeah, 

Tom: no, no. I meant to say ad 

Jonathan: ad. Cool. Yeah. 

Tom: So that's pretty cool. 

Jonathan: Yeah, that is cool. You like the 

Tom: love? Yeah, I, um, I, I just wanna say like, uh, I don't, the election is like, it's about to happen, so, um, and this is gonna come out after, so I'm not gonna spend much time sort of, um, pro Yeah.

Pros, you should have voted. 

Jonathan: If you're in New York, you should have voted. 

Tom: You should have voted. But I will say that, um, man, like politics. I think something that is so hard for me in terms of making peace with people with different politics than me is, um, politics, sh politics tell you what someone's morals are.

They tell you what someone's view of the world is. 

Jonathan: Yeah. 

Tom: And I have, and as I get older, I struggle more and more with, once I learn that information about someone, it's really hard to forget it. Yeah. And um, I've been surprised by. [00:21:00] People that I know who are voting for Cuomo Democrats, um, I just, uh, you know, I just see you and I know what you told me and I know who you are now, and it's gonna be hard to forget that I, uh, you know.

Um, we know enough about, we know a lot about Cuomo. Yeah. We know a lot about Cuomo, and it's hard for me to forget what I've learned about Cuomo. Yeah. And for those of you out there that are planning to vote for him, I, um, I'm ashamed for you. 

Jonathan: Yeah. 

Tom: That you can't seem, you seem to be EAs uh, easily able to forget that and, uh, just wonder where your morals actually 

Jonathan: are.

I, I love that Zoran has been so like, um, like, you know, Trump in this, uh, 60 Minutes interview, like, I like. Like overtly, uh, endorses, uh, Cuomo. And right away Zora was like, congratulations. You got what you were working towards. You got the Trump endorsement. Like, and that's so clear. I mean, whatever, you know, like, yeah, there's no like in, in no homo fashion.

I don't have any more information than you can find, than any other, [00:22:00] uh, political platform, but it, it, what I think is so cool, what I think is fun about Zoran is what people. Other people seem to be so scared of, which is like he, he, he's outside of the system that exists right now, but like, clearly that's a thing people need, right?

Like that's, there's a lot of what, what Trump is. That's just that like, is it, he was supposed to be this outsider. He says things different. I mean, he says things like a racist moron, but you know, like that gave people the courage to. The racist, they really are. And the idiots, they really are. But like Zoran is outside of the, the, the system and the rich folks in New York are terrified of that.

And other people seem to have picked up on the, the, you know, the messaging that he's gonna come in. He is gonna socialize everything. And I was even talking to somebody from like, from France this past week, who was like saying like, you gotta be careful, socialism. Doesn't work. Like, like giving like free stuff doesn't work and you can't, like there's, there's so much stuff that people are just like so scared of, like full socialism and I'm just like, look around because our version of capitalism right now isn't fucking working.

Like nobody's happy. Like there are [00:23:00] eight people, there are eight happy people in the country right now, and they're moving on to military bases like it's not working. So, and Al also like if you pay any attention, like it's not like New York. Zand doesn't even have, like, the mayor doesn't have that many, that many strings they can pull to do themselves.

Like there's so many things that have to go through so many channels, but the idea of fucking mixing it up and not having another like system guy like the, the fact that the billionaires in New York want Cuomo in office tells me absolutely. If, if, if I didn't know any of the history of Cuomo, I still would say, oh, that tells me Trump wants him in.

The billionaires want him in. That guy does not need to be in office anymore at all. You know, like, fucking, let's mix it up. Let's just see what, you know, bring in some new blood and see what we can do that's different and make something better because it sucks. 

Tom: Yeah. Well hopefully, 

Jonathan: yeah, 

Tom: hopefully. Fingers crossed.

Um. Yeah. So last week we talked about combo. Yeah. And, uh, how, how I brought that to you and you used the phrase guru Tom, and so we thought we'd build off that, uh, can, [00:24:00] can you define Guru Tom for us? 

Jonathan: Yeah. Uh, it was a, it, it's, it's been, um, I don't know a phrase that I've used for years now. It's just the idea that you.

You are, it's, the bottom line is I'll follow you anywhere to anything I want to do. I, I'm doing what Tommy's doing except for blow jobs.

I mean, clearly we've established the one, the boundary, but otherwise I. You just, you're, you're a very good, saying, you're a good salesman is, is the wrong way to put it. Because it's not that things that you care about and that you enjoy, you wanna share with your friends. You have, you believe strongly you commit to the things that you believe in.

If you, if you're for them, you're for them. If you're against them, you're against them. If you don't know them, you fucking don't know them. They don't exist. But, but the things that you're for, you do a really good job of making seem attractive. And I've always been like. I mean, I think that it can go back to the beginning of our relationship.

You know, [00:25:00] I, I, I auditioned for you. That's how we met. I did a show with you and after the one that one time working with you. So professionally, but also personally at that point, like, we were friends after that first, that first gig. I, I mean, I did a lot of theater That was. Good theater, but like small, zero paying theater that I, I did because I trusted that what you were doing with it was gonna be good and was gonna be, um, worth it, worth the no money and, and still be, you know, worth my time in New York.

And, um, that, I don't know, that kind of like just set me on this path of trusting you and liking the way that you did things and liking the things that, that, and you, you, you know, you like to try things and you have. You're a a, a a, a a, potions and tinctures and a, you know, like, you like to, you like to check things out.

And, um, I years ago decided like, yeah, I'm going to, I as often as I can, I'm gonna get on board. You, your, your batting average is super high. There's some misses every now and then. There's something [00:26:00] kind of like fall on the wayside some, I mean, I think that. Uh, coconut oil pulling might be a miss, you know, like that.

But that's like not, it's not like it hurt. It just like was like, nah, that's, that's not, that's not real. That's, 

Tom: yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was a miss. Alright. What were some of the hits? 

Jonathan: Some of the hits, uh, okay, so, so, and they're, it's funny how like randomly they are, some of them are potions that are like, like combo and some of them are just like fucking.

Things that exist in the world, you know, like, uh, I think Thera Gun's a good one because you turned us onto the Thera gun, like there was a big sale. Yeah. Yeah. And there was, and like you got us on right on time for that. Of course, it turns out two weeks later we realized that big sale was, because they were rolling out a whole new addition.

They were rolling out the whole new prototype that was like much quieter. Yeah. But. But we got a great deal on a Thera gun at the time, so that was totally worth it. And like, still use it all the time. You know, ours, ours can't be used while the, you can't do do anything else. The, the noise of it kind of takes over, but that's okay too.

Just, just commit to using a thera gun for sure. That was, um, let's see, [00:27:00] uh, um, oh, like a funny one. And from a while back that kind of fell off, but not for any reason other than just like whatever was Halo top ice cream. Remember that ice cream that was like protein heavy and like maybe, was it dairy free or it's something, it was like, 

Tom: uh, I remember selling it to you as you can eat the whole thing.

They want you to eat the whole thing all by yourself. 

Jonathan: Yeah. We were just, I was like, fucking great. Per, okay, cool. Sold. 

Tom: I love that stuff. 

Jonathan: There was a. There was a time when I was trying to get on your whole morning routine, and I just like, I, I don't have the, the stick to it nature that you do to keep a routine like that, but I, you know, like, 

Tom: well, you have kids too.

Jonathan: I mean, this is years ago, but Yes, now I have kids for sure. Um, they, I, I like, I'm looking at the things that you wrote down here. And it's funny how some of them, but like one, that is true, but it's funny to say that it's a gu rou to thing. But Taylor Swift, like, I didn't have any, 

Tom: yeah, 

Jonathan: I like respected her.

I was from the moment that Kanye was a dick to her, I've been on her side, but I didn't really care about the music. I was like, yeah, she should keep doing what she's doing. It's not [00:28:00] really for me, whatever. That's fine. But um, and then it was like. During the pandemic, you, uh, uh, when she, whenever she had those couple albums come out, you turn me onto it, folk Glory.

Yeah. And, and yeah. Um, and I was like, oh, I'm fucking in. 

Tom: Yeah. 

Jonathan: Big time in at that point. Um, so you get credit for, for the, I, I don't know. Highest selling musician of all time. But you, in my world, you get credit for that. 

Tom: So she owes me a cup basically. 

Jonathan: Yeah, for sure. Um, another musician is Orville Peck. You totally turned me on to Orville Peck and I changed my life, man.

Yeah. What a dude. 

Tom: He has a new album coming out in two weeks. Yep. 

Jonathan: Really? All right. Hell 

Tom: you, yeah. Or ep I don. It's a whole album. 

Jonathan: Okay. Um, 

Tom: but yeah, very excited. 

Jonathan: There's some that I haven't tried yet. Like, like Rolfing blowjobs one that I really blowjobs. Yeah, dude. Blowjobs. Some dudes are ones that I haven't tried.

That's one that I haven't tried yet. Um, look, uh, there's no part of me that doesn't think that like. The, in a vacuum out of context, that you are a very skilled, uh, [00:29:00] uh, blow job giver. An incredibly probably unsu surpassingly, skilled gee, thanks.

But so, so short of blow jobs, um. Rolfing is one of the ones that I, uh, gi Can you like, give, just Yeah, yeah. Give the people your rolfing pitch. 

Tom: I mean, Rolfing came out of my same, like after I went to my first earn and I came back and I was like, ah, I gotta try new things all the time. Every weekend I gotta do something new.

And, uh, I heard about Rolfing and uh, I went and it was game changing. Um, I haven't been in a while. This makes me want to go. Um. Basically like when you get a massage, um, they work on your muscles. Um, and so, uh, Rolfing is a type of massage. You have to be a trained massage therapist to be a Rolfer, and then you have to go to like an additional like year of school to become a Rolfer after that.

So there's less of them in the world because less people commit to that all that time [00:30:00] and that money. Um, Rolfing focuses on the connective tissue between the muscles. Um. And, uh, that is much harder to massage. And it gets, it gets stiff. Our connective tissue gets, uh, it's called fascia. 

Jonathan: Yeah. 

Tom: Um, can get released.

We've 

Jonathan: talked about the fascia before. We've talked about it for the, the warmup, right? Like the 

Tom: That's right. Like, that's right. The fascia warmup I'm doing. Totally. Yeah. Um, and it's important for that to stay loose. Um, a lot of people believe that fascia is where, uh, motions get stored. Um, and so ing can release that if you believe that kind of thing.

Um, but what's really cool about railing is. No matter which role you go to, if you commit to the 10 series, which is 10 sessions with Aer, a week or two apart, spread over that time, um, each week has its own part of the body that it focuses on. So like, uh, one week was, I think week two is just like from the head to the shoulders.

So all he did was work on me from here to here. 

Jonathan: Yeah. 

Tom: And it's, he's getting, they're getting in like [00:31:00] really deep into the fascia and it can be very painful. It's also very active for the recipient. 'cause you're, sometimes you're moving at a slow pace. Like you'll move your arm while he does something in your neck and you're breathing.

It's like active breathing. So it's not relaxing. You don't like fall asleep during the Rolfing session. Um. When he did my head, uh, there's a technique they do to open up your sinuses, which is, they put like, um, like a little condom type thing on their pinky and they go up your nose, uh, one nostril at a time.

Jonathan: Shit. What, what week is that? Like how, how prepared for, for like, how, how much rolfing experience do you have to have before they. Uh, stick a feet or 

up 

Tom: your nose. You know what I, I just said that was week two, and it's not Week two is, um, from the knees down and now I'm remembering it. Okay, so it's the feet and, and the calves knees.

I feel 

Jonathan: like the nose thing is later in the series. 

Tom: Later. I think it was week seven that I say it. Um, and it, like, this is only possible if you completely re relax. Um, and so when they take it out, you feel like you've never breathed before in your life until that moment. Wow. Wow. [00:32:00] Uh, so yeah, there, it's, it's pretty intense and it's pretty, um, it changes the way you move in the world, um, especially when you commit to that 10 series.

Like yeah, my, I felt like I had a different body by the time it was done. Yeah. And now I go back in for like. Tuneup sessions, and I would love to do the 10 series again. It's expensive, but someday maybe I'll commit to it. 

Jonathan: Yeah. 

Tom: But, um, yeah, you should, you should get, uh, 

Jonathan: rol. Yeah. That sounds, that sounds nice to me.

That sounds it. It also sounds like just a, just to harken back, since this might be one of, since this is one of our last episodes as No Homo with Jonathan and Tom, it, it calls back to. The first or second episode, it feels like a real power bottom kind of move. Like you gotta be able to take it and be able to relax through it.

Yeah, yeah, 

Tom: yeah, yeah. 

Jonathan: So I'm down, I'll fucking do it. I'm 

Tom: not scared. Yeah. He actually, speaking of, he has a move that, uh, the guy that I see that he calls the can opener, which is he basically is like massaging your. Bud Hole kind of uhhuh. Um, I mean, you're, you, you keep your underwear on, so he, it's above your underwear.[00:33:00] 

Um, and it's not sexual at all, but he's, um, like. Getting in the, um, the pelvis, I guess in the pelvic floor, you 

Jonathan: don't get, you've never gotten a boner during a off or offing. 

Tom: No. It's so, um, painful and, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not pleasurable in that way. Um, and the can opener is intense, but you walk 

Jonathan: into the can opener.

Tell me what, tell me what that is 

Tom: like. He's literally like. Grinding, open your butt. Um, like he's not inside the butt. It's outside. 

Jonathan: Yeah. 

Tom: But like the pelvic floor is a, there's a lot being talked about the pelvic floor these days. Yeah. New York Times just did like three different articles on the pelvic floors.

One of them about men in the pelvic floor. Women are, are constantly being challenged with having to strengthen their pelvic floor. It's why a lot of women go to, um, what am I talking about? Like, I'm some sort of expert over here. I don't really know what I'm talking about. 

Jonathan: Who gives a fuck? Do it, 

Tom: man.

Whatever. Fuck gives the fuck. It's no. Um, women, women, women have to 

Jonathan: you being an expert on thing, that's what this is about. That's what this whole section is. Just sell [00:34:00] it, sell it like you're an export on it. So women on their public floor, what are they dealing with 

Tom: these days? Uh, me talking about women, pelvis, women's publicists, um, they have to strengthen it.

And so they go to, they go to um, uh, what's it called, starts with a p, not yoga. Pilates. Pilates. 

Jonathan: Yeah. 

Tom: Um, and so men often have the opposite problem, which is the pelvic floor is too tight. Mm. And so I think a lot of what he worked on with me, the other one is the, um, the SOAs. Do you know about the SOAs?

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Because you 

Jonathan: remember the hip hook, the, that hip hook thing. The hip hook. That's another guru Tom. 

Tom: Guru Tom, 

Jonathan: another guru Tom. That, that shit's fucking real man. That is 

Tom: the hip hook is good. Yeah. Yeah. So the, the SOAs is the only muscle that connects the top of the body to the bottom of the body.

So it runs down the back, the lower back, and then it kind of goes like, like through past some of the organs and then down the front of the leg. 

Jonathan: Mm-hmm. 

Tom: And, and like through your, um. Like pelvis. 

Jonathan: And 

Tom: is it 

Jonathan: cross across the back or is it did one, is it like 

Tom: just straight down? Okay. No, I think it's just, yeah.

Yeah. 

Jonathan: Okay. 

Tom: But [00:35:00] like, so if your lower back is hurting, like you can, sometimes it's like the SOAs needs to be released inside. 

Jonathan: Mm-hmm. 

Tom: So there's like a part that they can get into in the front. Um, yeah, so it's that, that's one where like my, I started with my leg bent and then he like went in with his elbow as my leg went down and as I breathed and it was incredibly intense and painful and, uh, felt amazing afterwards.

Um, it was, it felt like I needed to learn how to walk again. 

Jonathan: Therapist, Megan is also always saying that like the SOAs and the hip, that front hip spot is where all the emotions are carried too. So like that's like a, that's like an emotion spot. So like if you're tight there, it's 'cause you're holding onto some stuff as well.

Tom: Yeah. Interesting. 

Jonathan: That's my noise, says, yeah. 

Tom: Yeah. What's up therapist? Megan, is she still listening? 

Jonathan: I think so, yeah. 

Tom: Ah, what's up? 

Jonathan: Yeah, just in case. What's up? Yeah. Well, this will be a, this will be a test. Let me know next time I see a, see a therapist, Megan, if you're still listening. 

Tom: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, one of my, when I used to do yoga more, one of the yoga instructors used to say, um.

Like, I think the left hip was about your mom and the right hip was about your dad or vice versa. I can't remember which is which. Huh, okay. But depending on which hip [00:36:00] was more fucked, that would, those were your issues. Um, uh, yeah, so, so that's raw thing and I think you should try it. I would love to. Yeah, Gotham Reer is the guy I used to go to.

The golf, the Gotham er. 

Jonathan: The Gotham Rol. That sounds like some Batman shit, that's hard to say. And it sounds like some Batman shit too. Yeah. All right. Yeah, he's super cool. That's what I wanna go to. Wait, there's some other good ones on here too. 'cause I'm looking at the list. Uh, the shocks team at, that's another one that, uh, it same kind of, I mean, different thing, but same world like that, that is some pain that you gotta learn to, it's like a acupressure, it's like a needle mat.

It's a, it's a, it's a needle mat, um, that you can lay on and it just, it. It is difficult, but you know, we've talked about it on here before. NN nothing, nothing that matters, comes without pain, comes without work, comes without, yeah. Sacrifice. So, yeah. Um, just like you might love your podcast and then you have to change the title of the perfect title of your podcast.

Sometimes you have to lay a shockti mat that hurts your back. 

Tom: That has prepared us for it. Yeah. So it's like a map with little plastic needles, not needles, but like points. 

Jonathan: Yeah. 

Tom: Um, and it's mirroring like the [00:37:00] Accu. Acupuncture. Yeah. Um, but it's also like a, a modern day version of like the bed of nails that like 

Jonathan: Yeah.

Tom: Indian gurus would lay on. 

Jonathan: And that's like the, the whole bed of nails. Like there's, there's, you know, like the, you can lay on it because it's not just one point, but it also still hurts. So Yeah. It's not puncturing you, 'cause it's not just one point, but it, it hurt. There's like a burning to that. And then you do it for long.

You put up with that for long enough. And then. 

Tom: Yeah, 

Jonathan: you're released. Yeah. There's a 

Tom: moment where it stops 

Jonathan: surfing. 

Tom: Yeah. 

Jonathan: Yeah. Absolutely. 

Tom: Yeah. 

Jonathan: Love the 

Tom: Shakti mad. 

Jonathan: Yeah. Yeah. I got, did I tell you got Shakti leg wraps, you know? 'cause I'm a runner now. I I, since I ran that half marathon, you know, I got Shakti.

The website, uh, has these, like, you fucking, it's like some, like, uh, what is it? I, what are the, what what are the Catholics that wear barbs around their legs or the, whatever the, the religious people who wear like. Barbs around their legs. It's a thing. I don't know, 

Tom: I don't know about Catholics. 

Jonathan: It, it, um, it's nothing like that.

It's like a leg sleeve, but it's it's point, it's all the pricks on the inside of it, and you, [00:38:00] the, it literally, the instructions are like, wrap this and then wrap the voco around that and go as tight as you can go. Just know that it's gonna be intense. Wow. Wow. You 

Tom: kept this for me. I didn't know you had a potion that I don't have.

Jonathan: I'm sorry. Well, sometimes, sometimes, you know, sometimes I take a thing that you teach me and I, I take it a step further. I think that it's fair to say my Shakti, Matt. Might be a level above yours as far as, uh, uh, you know, pain tolerance goes as far as pain infliction goes. 

Tom: Wow. 

Jonathan: But you still introduced me, so it's still, it's still a guru Tom Credit, you know, but like, 

Tom: wow.

Jonathan: Sometimes I gotta, you know, I gotta keep moving. I gotta, I think that, I think that it's. I don't know. It's arguable that I'm a bigger masochist than you are. It's ar there's, there's an argument to be made that I need more pain, that I, whoa. I don't think that like, and this is no, there's no kink shaming here.

I'm not like a masochist, uh, in a, in a super SNM kind of way. But I do recognize that a lot of, uh, like a lot of times I'm like, oh, I think that I kind of. I [00:39:00] am a masochist, like in the, in that, kinda like in the, the pain when I used to get Accu Acupuncture, I used to get, you know, back when I was a CrossFitter, which is all I'm gonna say about that.

Um, I used to get, uh, acupuncture and the, the, uh, um, what are they, the, the. Clinician who did it, the whatever, whatever they're called. I mean, they're not really a doctor, but whatever they are, the who did it, um, would be like, you smile every time I get to one of the intense ones that people like hate, you smile.

And I was like, yeah, that's just like how I, I don't know. It's how I interpret those kind of things. I, you know. Well, 

Tom: wow. I mean, I can make you smile, bro. Like if you wanna smile, I can make you smile. Um, you know, one that you never did is, uh, but I think, I'm sure I told you about it when I used to do the chiro.

Therapy, the chiro chamber. Cryo 

Jonathan: cryo, no, it's, I'm pretty sure chiro chamber is not a thing.

Tom: They play like walk like an Egyptian [00:40:00] 

cryo. 

Jonathan: It wasn't super racist because I couldn't figure out what to say about chio chamber. That's a good one. Yeah. Cryo, cryo, cryo chamber. 

Tom: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did that a bunch. 'cause of my back. I've, um, herniated this, so I was trying to. Yeah. 

Jonathan: And you feel like it worked? I mean, cryo like, I feel like, like people do it, rich people do it nonstop.

Yeah. And I, I've never, I've never really known if it's like worth it in, in the one-off kind of way. Or if it's something you gotta do like once a week if you're rich is going. And do, you know, um, 

Tom: I mean, I did it probably 10 times. Uh, my experience was that it, um, worked and, and then after a certain number of days you, it kind of would come back.

Yeah. Um, so I think the, the, the doing it over is just to. Keep the effects to keep working. Yeah. But um, yeah, it's pretty incredible. I mean, you're in like negative, it was cold. Yeah. I can't remember the number. I wanna say negative. I, I'm not gonna say a number 'cause it's gonna gonna sound bananas, but 

Jonathan: 50 billion 

Tom: negative 1 58 is in my [00:41:00] head.

This is correction corner for next week. 

Jonathan: My kids, my kids for whatever reason picked. 152 to be their random big number, uhhuh. So everything in our house is like, it was 152 times. So let's just say it was a negative 152 degrees. Okay. 

Tom: Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they play, you get to pick a song. They play a song like two minutes, I think it was like two minutes, maybe three minutes that you're in there.

You wear like mittens. 

Jonathan: You don't have to just listen to walk like an Egyptian, you can pick other 

Tom: songs. No, no, no, no. Uh, they give you underwear. You cover your nipples so your nipples don't freeze. Okay. And then you dance for two or three minutes Okay. To a song you picked out. Yeah. Um, 

Jonathan: the, is it, is it fair to say that.

The cold plunge has kind of become the everyman's. Cryo, yeah. Like is that, that's basically what that is to I think so. Doing, right? Yeah. Okay. 

Tom: Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, so that's one. And then afterwards they would put us in the, um, these like blow up leg sleeves. Mm-hmm. That like, do you know what I'm talking about?

Mm-hmm. 

Jonathan: Mm-hmm. 

Tom: Yeah. Those were pretty cool. 

Jonathan: Yeah. 

Tom: I love shit like this. 

Jonathan: Yeah, me too. Man. 

Tom: If I had money I would just all, every day, all day. 

Jonathan: Yeah, dude. I know. Go 

Tom: to like 

Jonathan: all 

Tom: kinds [00:42:00] of 

Jonathan: crazy health 

Tom: shit. 

Jonathan: I tried, um, leveraging my, you know, my platform on, uh, social media to get, uh, there's a spot in a story called Recovery, NYC, that does like, they do PT and massage, uh, uh, sports massage.

And they have, they don't have a cryo chamber. They have a cryo like gun, like you can do like, like, like targeted cryo. And they also have a cold plunge in an infrared sauna. They have a bunch of, they have like oxygen and the, um, leg compression stuff, and it's so cool. I just like. It, it, it is by the nature of it.

Expensive. Um, and I, you know, I, uh, for whatever any number of reasons, uh, my platform isn't leverageable in that kind of way, just get that kind of stuff. But, uh, anyway, shout out those guys. They're, they do a good job. But yeah, I, I'm the same If I could like, just if a morning, if, if the, if an hour every morning was just like, potions, like that treat just Yeah.

Would, yeah. Yeah. Would, would love it. That's like some Scott Galloway shit. Like, you know, just like. Do all the things he's getting, whatever, I don't even know all the things he's doing, but he talks often about how, which by the way, pivot another [00:43:00] one that guru Tom, uh, brought into my life. So love 

Tom: the Pivot podcast.

Yeah. Such a good podcast. 

Jonathan: Yeah. If 

Tom: you're not listening, you should listen. Um, yeah. 

Jonathan: Yeah. 

Tom: So thanks man. Thanks for, thanks for following along. 

Jonathan: Yeah. It's my, it's my pleasure. That's, I'm so glad that there are people out there who are also listening now. I feel like everyone can benefit from Guru Tom. 

Tom: I love it.

I'm honored. Uh, I, I do think you should try blow jobs from guys. Uh, have we talked about from one specific guy? Obviously. 

Jonathan: Have we talked about any, all guys the point? I promise it'll be you. I promise it'll, you, you, if you need me to say it, I'll say it as often as you need me to. It'll, it'll be you Have, we talked about the coins on the dresser.

I feel like that's worth talking about. It's such a early, early. Early. 

Tom: Well, why don't you tell that story?

Jonathan: Um, so way early on in our relationship. Did, did you just propose it? Like you, you were like, what if I do this and, or I didn't, I didn't come up with it. Right. Like, because it seems it was, [00:44:00] it's an So you have a, a, you kept a, a jar of change on your dresser. Yeah. Back when, back when cash was more used more often.

And we all came home with change in our pockets and like, 

Tom: yeah, 

Jonathan: I've got a, I've got an empty magnum of Silver Oak upstairs that I served someone one night that I'd been filling with coins for. 15 years now, because yeah, a decade ago there was a lot of coins and now there's not big coins. But 

Tom: yeah, 

Jonathan: this was back in the day when coins were around and you had like jars of coins on your, uh, dresser and, uh, somewhere along the way, you know, in, in a, in a, in a real, but not in a, in a assuming it was never gonna happen kind of way.

I was like, yeah, if you fill the top of this dresser. With jars of coins. Or maybe you were like, if I fill this, this dresser with jars of coins and pay you that money, will you let me blow you? And I was like, yeah, you know what? Yeah. And then like the next time they came over, there was like, fucking double the jars already full of coins.

I was like, oh shit, you're moving at a pace here. 

Tom: There was not double. 

Jonathan: Well I think it went from one, it went from like two to four to a one to [00:45:00] one to maybe three. You know, like, 

Tom: but then one time you came over and they were all gone. 'cause I catch 'em in. Yeah. 

Jonathan: Yeah. 

Tom: And I was like, oh, fuck, I forgot. 

Jonathan: Yeah.

Tom: Yeah. Whew. I had a thing, I mean, I still have this, but you're right, there aren't as many coins. I don't, I I didn't believe in taking coins out into the world. So when I came home every day, the coins went into the jar. Yeah. And I started with only cash. I wasn't someone who carried like quarters to give change.

Yeah. 

Jonathan: Yeah. 

Tom: Um, I still do that. I just never come home with coins anymore. Yeah. Uh, but yeah. Uh, I'll, I'll collect the coins for you, bro. Is that, is that offer still on? 

Jonathan: You know what it, yeah, it is. Coins are much harder to come by now, but, uh, yeah. Ladies and 

Tom: gentlemen, it's 

Jonathan: still, 

Tom: please send me coins, send all.

Care of Tom 

Jonathan: Patreon only in coins. We, yes, please. 

Tom: Alright. You know what it's time for? 

Jonathan: I do. 

Tom: Who would you fight? Who would you fight? 

Jonathan: Powow. Hey. I think that was like kind of a throwback. I think that was kind of classic. Yeah. 

Tom: Close to the original. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. All right, I'll go first this week. Okay.

I want to [00:46:00] fight cruise ships. 

Jonathan: Love it. Just 

Tom: hard 

Jonathan: stop. No, no follow-up questions. Just cruise 

Tom: ships. Cruise ships. Just cruise ships. I, uh, cesspools of humanity. Um, absolutely disgusting. Um, will you hear about, first of all, the norovirus. That goes around on those cruise ships. Yeah. Just vile, disgusting. Why you would wanna spend money and put yourself in that situation.

And then, yeah, families that go and bring their kids and then the parents go get drunk and let the kids roam the ship. 

Jonathan: Yeah. 

Tom: Multiple, many people fall off cruise ships every. Year. I know someone from, I've gone off, I know someone from when I was from, from my hometown that unfortunately disappeared off a cruise ship.

It's a very sad story. No. Yes. And this happened to me at a young age, and I have never been able to shake that. Um, it happens. And also the cruise ships are not regulated by any laws. Known to man. They're like, [00:47:00] the laws of the sea are their own thing. And it's p people get away with a lot of crazy shit on the sea because there's no country that can take over.

Uh, New York Magazine last spring did a, did a whole expose on these six people that were on a cruise ship, kind of like. Um, the Mediterranean, then the, like the coast of Africa, and they got off on one of the cities and they took a cruise ship. Sanctioned day trip. Mm-hmm. So meaning that the people, the, the cruise ship itself organized the day trip, I think it was carnival and the cruise ship decided to take 

Jonathan: off.

Let's, let's, let's hope that it was, but I, 

Tom: they decided to take off early without the people. 

Jonathan: No. 

Tom: Yes. And then they were take early. Yeah. They were left to their own devices. And then one of the women was an old lady with diabetes. She didn't speak English like it's a terrible, horrible, horrific article in New York Magazine and 

Jonathan: holy shit, 

Tom: I just think we, you know, in, in the pandemic.

I felt like the cruise ship industry almost went over and I think we had a missed, missed opportunity there to put it 

Jonathan: Literally could have really could have killed off [00:48:00] cruise ships during 

Tom: Yeah. I've never been on one, I will never step foot on one. Yeah. And I urge all of you not to. 

Jonathan: Yeah. Yeah. From your own 

Tom: safety.

Yeah. 

Jonathan: Let's, we're bringing down entire industries. I love it. Let's,

um, uh, okay. Uh, this week I wanna fight, uh, violently loud nose blowers in public people who like, who, like, it's, it's start literally, my kids get scared. Like, I, I get scared. People who I understand you get you. It's, it's cold and flu season, first of all, get your shots, take care of yourself, get your vitamin C, drink your fluids.

Um, I get it. And you're gonna have to blow your nose at some point. But I feel like there's a, there's a, there's a time in a man's life. At a certain age, and I still don't know what that age is, but there, there must be a time when you e either make the decision to move into this or you don't stop yourself from moving into the trumpet.

The trumpet of, of nose blowing the just like insane, violently loud, nose blowing. I can't stand it. I wanna punch people in the face when I hear that. 

Tom: Did it just happen to you somewhere? 

Jonathan: Yeah. [00:49:00] 

Tom: Where? 

Jonathan: Uh, it was at a, it was at a, oh, I'm not gonna call out the, the, no, I was at a coffee shop, uh, in a story today that I really enjoyed.

It was MOA coffee shop swing by there. They're not always violently loud nose blowers there. I love it there. But, uh, yeah, dude just like, just ripped it and it was, it just like, it's a small coffee shop and it was so, it just feels like, it feels like a lack of awareness for anything around you. It's like a, it's not.

There's not the lingering effects of a loud fart, but it's the same kind of like, come on man, like you, this is a small space where it whatever. Like I understand that you've gotta blow your nose a hundred percent. I understand that part. I do not think that it needs to be. A brass instrument. Yeah, 

Tom: I, 

Jonathan: I don't think it needs to sound like that.

I think you're making that choice. Can you 

Tom: imagine someone doing it on a cruise ship? Horrific, 

Jonathan: horrific, horrific. That's, that's really who we fight first. Violently loud nose blowers on cruise ships. 

Tom: That's it. Alright. That's it for the, that's it for today. Uh, I'll, I'll read us out. 

Jonathan: Yeah, I'll do it. 

Tom: Alright.

All right. Thanks for listening. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to like and [00:50:00] subscribe to No Homo Not for long. With Jonathan and Tom on all podcast platforms. On YouTube graphics and music by Matt Lattner. And an abundant thanks to Jen Dorn Bosch and Quan Williams. The opinions expressed on this podcast are solely those of the hosts and our entertaining.

Okay. Okay. And are intended for entertainment purposes only. 

Jonathan: Welcome, motherfucker.

Tom: Alright, enough of you be gone. 

Jonathan: Okay. I love you. 

Tom: Love you too. Bye. 

Jonathan: Bye.