America Turns 250

In this week's episode of the Rich Spinster podcast, Alexis unpacks the administration's Great American Mess of Fourth of July festivities in Washington, D.C., the relentless heat wave that's turned the Northeast into a sauna, and the lingering question everyone wants answered: Is Mitch McConnell actually alive?

From smoke-filled skies over the nation's capital to the increasingly surreal state of American politics, celebrating the Fourth this year felt less like patriotism and more like an episode of The Twilight Zone. With her unapologetic commentary, Alexis explores why reality feels stranger than fiction and why sometimes all you can do is laugh to keep from screaming.

Transcript

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It's just all about love and life and living and freedom. That's what that's what it's all about for me now. Welcome to the Rich Spencer Podcast. This is Alexis, and it is what's today's date, you guys. July is already going by so fast. It's the 6th of July. The 6th. And this weekend, America celebrated her 250th birthday. This weekend was really interesting for so many reasons. In DC on the 4th of July, we saw somewhat of a representation of America. And what we saw on the 4th of July in DC were some white supremacists and pissy khakis and masks bringing their micropenis energy to our nation's capital. And you know, it just reminds us that at the root of this American experience has been and is racial hatred. It looked like a bunch of freaking not even Boy Scouts, but where did y'all get these uniforms? Like, were the masks supposed to be intimidating? When I saw them, all I could think was only you can stop forest fires. Like I that's all I could think about. That's how unintimidating they are. But it was also strange to see something that I saw online, which was the photo of a black woman sitting on the metro surrounded by them. And instantly all I heard were like calls like, this should receive a Pulitzer. Like this photo deserves a Pulitzer. What a great photo. And I'm thinking to myself a couple of things. One, I have never wanted to sit next to someone so badly in my entire life. And when I looked at that photo, it reminded me of the quote: I come as one, but I stand as 10,000. Because we were all standing with her. We were all sitting with her. But what I know for sure, and the reason why I thought that photo was so poignant, is because that is really an everyday photo. That is every single day in America just without the mask. Just without the mask. We can't see you in your little uniforms united, right? So when I saw that photo, I thought, well, this is just everyday life. Now they're just dressed up together like a club. But yeah, it was really weird seeing that in DC because I just can't imagine spending my good time off focused on people who just don't give a damn about me. I just can't imagine spending time like that focused on people who don't care about me. I will say though that Shango, the Yoruba god of lightning and fire and justice, was getting ready to light their asses up at that national mall when they had to evacuate them all due to weather. And where did they seek refuge? Where? The African American Museum of History and Culture. I was pissed. I was pissed because they that's when I would have, I would have lost my job that day if I worked there because I would have been like, lock the door, chain the door. Can y'all imagine? Can y'all imagine having to work there and having all of these smooth-brained bitches come up in there seeking refuge, wearing their MAGA apparel? Ain't that bad a bitch? Anyone who attended that and was seeking refuge there shouldn't be allowed a black anything, no black museum, no black beans, no black cars, no black berries, no black nothing. They they're only the only thing I want for them is the black plague. Seriously, that entire place had to smell like onions and hot dog water. Can you imagine? I was just like, I can't, I can't. I don't, I don't want these people in there. I was just so disgusted at at that whole thing. But it was so funny too, how the great American fair, you know, it's almost like the universe is like, you know what? Since y'all won't do anything, then the the damn fireworks display, which was so obnoxious, that created a fucking smoke out in DC, where people weren't really seeing the fireworks. They couldn't even really enjoy it because it was too much. Didn't they like they should have consulted Disney or something? So many cities across the country had beautiful displays, but not DC. I'm telling you guys, everything, everything they touch turns to shit. I also hold heard the prices were crazy this weekend. People were paying $70 to park at the Navy Pier or $53 to park at the I what? And then they're stuck in traffic for hours and then they couldn't see shit. That's what the fuck y'all get. You got exactly what you deserve because your asses shouldn't have been out there. Didn't you look at the weather report? Didn't you look at what this administration has done since the beginning? When I saw the pictures of people in traffic, I was actually happy as I was home in the air conditioning, just scrolling and giggling my ass off. That's what y'all get. I wasn't going out to Red Ride and Who? This entire thing is just an exercise of incompetence. Every day, when you think that they have reached the maximum level of fuckery, they take it to another level. Trump also gave uh some sort of speech the night of the 4th of July. I didn't watch the speech, but I did read uh some of the comments on Threads about the speech, and apparently he was talking about communism a lot and just started doing his normal rambling and things like that. Uh, but I was not going to spend not one moment of my day listening to this man talk. This is crazy at this point, having this man stand up there before the country pretending to be the leader when he clearly has Alzheimer's and a full damn diaper. When I see Trump, though, you guys, when I when I see him, I I I there's nothing good that ever comes to my mind. I never look at a picture of him and think, oh, that's a nice suit. Oh I don't look at him and think anything good. Every time I look at him, I think that motherfucker, that bitch, every single time I see him, there is nothing good that comes to mind. Seriously, do you know how uneducated and culturally uninformed you have to be to be proud of America right now? To be proud of the current state of America right now, the level of delusion and cognitive dissonance you have to be immersed in in order to say, I am proud of my country right now. And I saw some, you know, so many people online, of course, they they always come back with, well, if you don't like America, you should leave. Why don't you leave this country if you don't like it? First of all, I ain't going no goddamnware. Think of James Baldwin when he talks about patriotism and love of a country, and he talks about his love of America, and that he does love America, which is why he must criticize America perpetually. Because that's what love is. Love is saying, do better, America, you raggedy ass ho. So all of those people who are saying, if you don't like America, get out. No, damn it, you get out. Because the experiment that is America is based on people like me being here. But listen, I had an actual great weekend this weekend. We watched soccer, of course. I am all about the World Cup. I've been watching it every single day. I feel like I just my life has been taken over by the World Cup and I surrender it all. Where is Mitch McConnell? Listen, I need to see proof of life. They need to show us something. I need to see that Mitch McConnell is still alive. Streets are saying his wife left for China or somewhere for a business meeting three days after they found this motherfucker cold and unconscious. Either Mitch McConnell is dead or his wife just doesn't give a fuck anymore. It could be, it could be that. But there is no reason that she would be out of the country when her husband is ill. And here is the saddest part about that. It's actually very sad. It is sad to live a life to be what 84 or something like that, to live 84 years and to have millions of people rooting for the grim reaper. Like, like, when are like the fact that people are rooting for the grim reaper in this situation tells you everything that you need to know about Mitch McConnell and his legacy in this country. And if he is alive, they're probably in the hospital every day hitting him with that. Are you dead yet, kick? What are you hanging on for, Mitch? Uh the the weekend of 4th of July is also really interesting because it's the annual Nathan's hot dog thing. And I think the guy, Joey Chestnut, ate 66 hot dogs. And my question is, why? I don't understand how somebody could eat more than two hot dogs in a day, but we're talking 66 hot dogs. Every year I'm amazed that people sign up to do that competition. It just doesn't make sense to me. Hot dogs specifically doesn't make sense to me. Like an empanada contest, okay. But hot dogs, Joey Chestnut is out of his damn mind. That's what I will say. I appreciate the commitment. I know I am not committed to anything like Joey Chestnut is committed to hot dogs. I I'm not committed to anything like that. I'm not gonna train for anything that hard. Nothing. Like nothing. Joey Chestnut is next level committed. I will give him that. But also, I want to know how he feels the next day. I have questions about the next day. What are we doing? Is it Pepto? Is it ginger ale? Like, I need to know how he is dealing with the consequences of those actions. No, that sort of overeating is not for me. Listen, one time I went to an Indian buffet. This is where, see, I'm more listen, I'm more of a grazer. I like to eat a little bit here, a little bit there. I like to kind of just graze. I don't like big meals at one time. So I went to this Indian buffet and I was starving. And I was so hungry, and I just kept eating and eating. And it was great. The food was amazing. Get in the car, and I'm like, oh no, I'm not just full, you guys. I was a different kind of full. My belly felt like a balloon. I thought it was going to pop. I needed to pull over on the side of the road. Like I was in pain, miserable. And I really thought, like, should I go to an urgent care or something? But I was too embarrassed that my greedy ass felt like I needed to go to urgent care because I ate too much. And I was just in the car crying, crying out in pain, Lord, not like this, not like this. This is not how I want to go. It was horrible. It was horrible. So when I see people doing these like food contests, I don't know how they survive. Because really, if you die that way, it's a very dumb way to die. It's an embarrassing way to die. They shouldn't even have a funeral for you if you die that way. Just throw you in a hole in the backyard or something because you don't deserve a funeral. You don't deserve for anyone to go and pay their respects. Are you all recovering? Specifically, people in the Northeast, are you recovering from that heat wave that had most of us sitting with our legs open in front of a box fan? Are you all recovering from that? It was horrible. Listen, I live in the Northeast. We were cooking. We were cooking last week. And I'm not used to that, frankly. You know, I think today the high is 68 or 69, which makes sense for me. But that was oppressive heat. That heat was disrespectful. That heat talked about your mama. That heat stole your last $5 and your will to live. That heat was awful. So I just want to know are y'all okay out there? I just could not get comfortable. It was like everything was hot. My ideas were hot. My eyes were hot. My ears were hot. Everything was hot. You know, and then when people were talking to me, like their breath was hot. It was just everything was hot. It was miserable. It was sticky. It was swampy, and I hated every minute of it. And you know what confused me? Is I saw people in my community outside taking walks. They were on bikes. They were jogging. They were white. That's what they were. They were white. I didn't see a single black person online or in person doing any of those things. Absolutely not. Well, I wasn't gonna mention it, but I guess I probably should since that was also a huge thing that happened this weekend. Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey got married. That's all I'm gonna say. I don't care. One thing that I really do enjoy after the 4th of July, I love seeing the videos of people's fireworks. Well, they're disasters. You know, when someone's putting a large uh rocket or something in their mouth, they're doing it for social media and it backfires and sparks go all over their face, or some idiot sticks a sparkler in his ass. Things like that I love seeing. Because you would think that over the years, especially with social media, that people would know, you know what, this is a dumb idea. Why is it a dumb idea? Because I saw somebody lose a fucking finger to this three years ago. Or why this is a dumb idea? Because somebody's asshole got third degree burns, but it never fails. They still do it every year. I quite enjoy when stupid people play stupid games and then win stupid prices. Mom Donnie is pissing them off. Mom Donnie is showing us what is possible, and that's the problem. He was showing us what is possible. It is possible to balance budgets, it's possible to put people before profits and everybody still do well. It's possible to provide free preschool. It's possible to do those things if we want to, if there is a will to. What if people believed? What if our differences were not so big to us that they could divide us? What if? And I think the election of Mandan Mam Dani and the success of Mam Dani is highlighting something that many of us know. We're in this together. And it's better if we all do better. And I'm telling you, he is the magic man of the moment right now. I mean, even his he can't, he can't do even his fireworks, even his fireworks display is shitting on him. So I I I love it. I I love it. I I'm loving what's what I'm seeing in New York right now, and um, I'm loving it for the citizens of New York. Congratulations. When I see the people in the mall this past weekend in their red, white, and blue, I I hear Lee Greenwood. That's what I hear. Proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm free. Supposedly. That's what I hear. But when I see the people that I love and the people that I know, when I see diversity, when I see people united for good, when I see people standing up for other people and loving other people just because it's the right thing. That's when I hear America the Beautiful. Ray Charles's version. So on that note, thank you so much for listening to the Rich Spencer podcast. You can listen to this podcast any place you listen to podcasts, and you can also watch the podcast in its entirety on YouTube at Rich Spenster, follow me at Rich Spenster on social media platforms, and I will talk to you all next week. Have a wonderful week, everybody. Stay cool.