Rest In Peace, I Guess

On this week's episode of the Rich Spinster Podcast, Alexis dives into a week that somehow managed to be stranger than fiction. She reflects on the unexpected passing of Senator Lindsey Graham, reacts to Mitch McConnell's long-awaited "proof of life" after seemingly disappearing for a month, and tries to make sense of the explosive parasite-fueled diarrhea outbreak sweeping across the country.

From politics to public health, Alexis delivers the commentary, humor, and side-eyes you've come to expect, because in America these days, the headlines feel less like the news and more like a fever dream.

Transcript

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It's just all about love and life and living and freedom. That's what that's what it's all about for me now. Welcome to the Rich Spenster Podcast. This is Alexis. And anybody with morals just doesn't give a damn. Just, you know, listen, I have told you all before that it is not a part of my spiritual practice to pray and wish well to oppressors. It is not. I I definitely don't celebrate anyone's well, yeah. Well, I think it actually is okay sometime to celebrate someone's passing because I am all for the eradication of evil. Miss Lindsay apparently had a tear in her aorta, and that is the cause of death. Um thoughts and prayers? I don't know. It's you know, it's so interesting because I was listening to Joe Scarborough on Morning Joe and he was talking about how he came into the class, the congressional class with Lindsey Graham, I believe, in 1994, and he was talking about how he changed over the years, and basically was saying how he sold himself to power. And that even people that mentored him, like John McCain, said, you know, is it worth it? Is it worth it so that you can go and golf with the president? And so I think it's going to be interesting to see how people eulogize Lindsey Graham. And certainly, certainly, not none of us are all one thing, right? Our good has to be weighed against our bad, but uh the public good, the public good versus the public bad, I think there is no question for a lot of us who Lindsey Graham was. And I also think that it's important to understand that when you live a public life, there is a legacy, there's a record of your legacy, is there, it's written down for the world to see. Hell, Lindsey Graham wanted them to bomb to take out Iran because Trump says so. You know how many people live in Iran? 93 million people. Speaking of Trump, Lindsey Graham said, Mr. President, you are not far behind God. I'ma just let that sit. So what I hate is performative grief. I cannot stand when someone passes away and all of a sudden we have to make that person like Jesus. We have to make that person the best person that we've ever met. How many times have you all heard someone eulogized? And what do they say? He had a smile that lit up the room. Stop. Stop. No, the buggy didn't. Like that is something that they always say when someone passes away. This idea that we should only speak glowingly of people once they pass away is a society that is uncomfortable with the truth. So much so that culturally we will sit in a church packed, sit there and listen to people tell a bunch of lies about somebody that we know ain't shit. Y'all just be sitting there playing in God's face about people. Like God done know. Just sitting there in church lying about a motherfucker's life. Singing praises uh to someone that you know has caused great harm. Um, it is like religious derangement. I actually did not know how deep the closet was that Lindsey Graham apparently was in. I've read all of these um reports from people who said that he basically paid for them to be able to live in DC for years and their silence paid for their education and and paid for really access to be able to be in rooms where it happened. Here is my question though. Why did Cash Patel tweet? Why did Cash Patel say that the FBI is investigating Lindsey Graham's passing? If he died of natural causes, if he died of a heart issue, why is the FBI involved at all? I've got questions. And speaking of death etiquette, um, people on the right who are shaming people on the left for their response to the passing of Lindsey Graham have got to cut the shit. Because there is no way in hell that you voted for this fool and you actually have something to say about etiquette. The man who mocked disabled reporter, the man who celebrated the death of Robert Mueller, him, and you all are shaming the left. Here is the problem: the left should stop being ashamed. Stop letting people who are immoral shame you about your morals. You can't shame me. Because I don't give a fuck. I will say this though. I will say that my my wish is that when we all leave here, when we all leave here, that people celebrate our life and not celebrate our leaving. Now, they have not announced funeral plans yet, but all I know is they better not have an all-black choir from South Carolina singing, I better not hear no damn soon and very soon at that funeral. It better not happen. Because that's the kind of shit that pisses me off. What also pissed me off, though, you all, was some of the responses from Democrats in public life, particularly Corey Booker. Corey Booker, why? Corey Booker went on Beyoncé's internet and told everybody that Lindsey Graham was a personal hero of mine. Now, that took a lot to say. That is a mouthful. When you were talking about someone who had really sold out what he said his principles were, someone who tried to hurt the LGBTQ community, someone who had racist ideals. And you chose this moment to not extend condolences, because I find extend condolences. I do believe that that's something that you have to do in public life. But you went and said he was your hero. This is why, this is why we must replace weak ass Democrats. Because there ain't no way in hell, Corey Booker. Corey Bonker's Booker went on the internet saying that not only did he give condolences, which is expected, but that Lindsey Graham is a hero of his. That didn't eat like you thought it ate, Corey. If he is a hero of yours, then you have actually abandoned your role as the advocate for the people. Heroes don't work to rob women of the of the right to make decisions about their bodies. Heroes don't say weird shit. Heroes don't work against the LGBTQ community all the while being a pillow biting queen, allegedly. When you cross the bridge of bullshit to say that this man was your hero, what you're saying is you want to emulate him. That he is the type of individual that you want to model yourself after. And if that's the case, Cory Booker, you may as well hang it up to. Kind of bullshit was that? That's that performative bullshit that I don't like. Get the fuck out of here, Corey Booker. I was more mad at Corey Booker than anybody else, honestly. People are really mad at Cory Booker for these statements, and they're mad at other Democrats for these statements because it's just an example of how of like how Democrats are weak, how they capitulate. We have a lot of dinos, Democrats in name only, who are just fucking weak. Staying for something. There's nothing wrong with Corey Booker getting online and saying, I've worked with Lindsey Graham for a really long time. My condolences go out to his family for their loss. Period point blank. But no, you had to throw a little tap dance, you had to throw some seasoning on it. You had to tap dance for him. That's the shit that drives me crazy with the Democratic Party. Because the Democratic Party still pretends that people are better than they actually are. When you know better. And that's that's that's the thing that people are tired of. People are tired of bullshit. People are absolutely exhausted from bullshit. And what do the leading high-profile Democrats do? They give you more bullshit. Yeah, they're better than the Republican Party for sure. But damn, the fuck? But yeah, so that was unexpected. That the passing of Lindsey Graham was definitely unexpected. 71 years young. Um, it seemed relatively healthy, but that lets you know. It's not every leaning pole that falls. God was like, Way do they see this? God, God Grim was Grim reaping on him. God was on some nightmare on Elm Street type shit. Remember when Freddie said, Way to they get a load of me? That is what happened. This these are like shitty times to live through, but they're also juicy, like super juicy times. This is like general hospital in real life that we're living. No, this is like days of our lives, what like in the 90s when they were bringing people back from the dead. And speaking of bringing people back from the dead, did y'all see that AI picture of Mitch McConnell? Mitch McConnell is his people are saying he is not dead. Mitch, we already buried you. The internet has already eulogized you. Mitch, you are already gone. They just haven't told you yet. You're still in line, you're in the line, you're in the line for the escalator that goes down, Mitch. Why didn't y'all tell why haven't y'all informed Mitch McConnell that he has passed away? This motherfucker is crawling up out of the ground like the thriller video. That listen, that picture they put out of Mitch McConnell sitting there with his wife, Mitch McConnell, looking healthy and pink and happy in his blue jeans. What? His wife, look at pictures of Mitch McConnell from May. I saw pictures of Mitch McConnell in May. And then I want you guys to look at the picture that they put out. Listen, when they say that AI is dangerous, this is what they mean. He looked full of life. Mitch McConnell looked like he got like 20 something years to go. He looked like he was 70 years old and in a good 70, like he was about to go play golf. Y'all know good and damn well. Listen, I want to see a video. I want to see a video that is proof of life. Now, y'all listen, when that video comes out, don't be surprised now if you hear the foulest stenches in the air. The funk of 40,000 years. I gotta stop. I I need to see a video of Mitch McConnell. I need somebody to poke him in the video. I need them to ask him questions. I need him to come close to the camera. I need AIS experts to look at that video and tell me that Mitch McConnell is alive. If Mitch McConnell really is still alive, I bet they got that embalming fluid on deck. They are ready at any moment to pump Mitch. And it's sad that we live in a time where we have to question things like whether or not someone is alive. What I'm also surprised at, I will say, is the silence around McConnell. You mean to tell me? See, this is why I know we have bullshit reporting in this country. You mean to tell me y'all can't get any information? There is not a CNA there who's gonna give you the tea. This is what happens when people don't know how to build relationships. I can absolutely go to whatever the facility his body is being kept in and give me an hour, and there is a CNA or somebody in there that I'm gonna connect with who's gonna be like, you know, this motherfucker dead. I'm telling you, y'all don't even have news sources anymore. You don't have connections anymore. That's the state of journalism, people. Listen, I would have had that information by end of day Friday. If Mitch McConnell is alive, get on video. Get on video and say, sometimes you gotta pop out and show niggas. By the way, y'all, I'm going to keep talking about Mitch McConnell as though he has passed away. Every time I talk about Mitch McConnell, I'm gonna say he was, okay? He was a senator. He he was a father, he was he was a husband. That's what I'm going to say about Mitch McConnell. That's it. To tell you the truth, I need proof that that Mitch McConnell's wife is alive because she didn't look alive in that photo. That photo was AI down, honey. Down. I mean, Asian don't raise in, but she don't look that damn good according to the pictures I saw previously. Let's see. I want everybody to speak. And if he is alive, if he is alive, it's just because God is sick of our shit. God is probably like, you know what? Fuck this. Y'all do something. Y'all do something. I got one. It's just, I just don't, I cannot believe that we're living in the times where we question whether or not an elected official is in fact alive or not. That is wild. Let me let me tell y'all something. If God does his big one, if God does his big one soon, I'm telling you, I may join a church.

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I may join a church.

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I may start preaching if that is the case. In fact, if that happens, I think it might be my calling. I don't I don't know. What does it mean when you're called? I don't know if I'm being called or not, but I'm I'm willing to answer. I'm willing to answer. We got motherfuckers coming back from the dead. We got people dropping dead after he said, Oh, I'm gonna go check on Mitch McConnell. Did he check? I can't. I absolutely, I absolutely cannot. If you are a believer, by your hand in prayer. Lord, we come to you today in absolute submission. We come to you, Lord, because we know you are the God of all things. You are the way maker. You are the first and the last, the Alpha and the Omega. And we know, Lord, that only you can do your big one. Lord, we ask you today to do your big one, Lord. We are sorry. We are sorry, God, that we allowed this country to get fucked up the way that it is. But we know, Lord, that only you can write thrown. I mean, I'm not so great at praying, but I think that was pretty good. At this point, I'm willing to try anything. Oh, the guy from Jurassic Park died. Sam Neil, dead at 78. I just looked on TMZ and I see that. You know, like I we didn't ask for any of this. I we did not ask for the Jurassic Park guy. Rest in peace. And I think Lindsay, what Lindsey Graham represented for so many people who watched his career over the years, and they saw someone they thought had principles sell those principles for power. And that's why people are tired of politics, I think. That's why people hate politics, is because they see the hypocrisy. But I would say that the hypocrisy is not just in politics, the hypocrisy is everywhere, the hypocrisy is in church, the hypocrisy is definitely at your job, the hypocrisy is in your family, the hypocrisy is within you. And that's something I I am always is I'm always poised to look at in a situation, the hypocrisy, even my own. I look at that, and what I don't want to be is a person of contradiction. I want to be a person that contains multitudes, and I believe that we all do. But that contradiction of principle, the morality, is something that disgusts people when it comes to politicians. When I look at people in public life who get up there and just say complete and utter bullshit, things will grow and shit. But that'll also make you sick. And speaking of that, what the fuck is going on with lettuce? Is it lettuce? Is it raspberries, onions, cilantro? What the hell is it? And how do y'all stop it? Because I don't have time for that. I don't have time for diarrhea for a month. I can tell y'all right now I'm built for many things, but I'm not I'm not made for month-long diarrhea. And I'm not talking about physically, I'm talking about mentally. I can't handle it. I know what I can handle in life, and that I cannot handle. It hits pause and then rewind and plays again. Oh no, no, and then they still can't tell us why everybody's getting the bubble guts. What is what is the origin story of the bubble guts? Y'all know the origin story for everything else. Yeah, the government can't tell us why people are getting sick? Yeah. If you're out there and you are consuming any raw vegetables, may the peace of the Lord be with your stomach. Because you might you might need that pink stuff. And then the pink stuff doesn't even help. You have to then like go to the doctor and get this medication that apparently some people are allergic to. I have no time. I have no time for that. That actually terrifies me. That terrifies me, and people are being hospitalized. And because of the lack of organization and oversight in this administration, we are all sitting here trying to avoid any type of vegetable. And it's been kind of silent. The only vegetable they're talking about is Mitch McConnell. Meanwhile, people are out here on the shitter. Get a pizza. Speaking of pizza, get a pizza. Speaking of pizza though, if y'all don't know, Whole Foods has the best pizza on the fucking planet. I just wanted to share that with everybody listening. If you have not had that Whole Foods uh caramelized onion and mushroom pizza, get it today. Get it today. You don't even have time to listen to the end of this podcast. I want you to stop right now because I'm ending this podcast and go get that pizza from Whole Foods. All I can say is, you're welcome. You're welcome. If you have not had that, you're welcome. Go get it now. Don't run. And on that note, I hope you all have a delicious week. Thank you for listening to the Rich Spencer podcast. You can listen to the podcast anywhere you listen to podcasts, and you can watch the podcast in its entirety on YouTube at Rich Spenster and at Rich Spenster on all social media platforms. You can follow me. Have a good one, everyone.