Rich Spinster
Put on your robe, grab a cup of coffee, and join Alexis at the virtual mailbox to analyze life and current events, sometimes dramatically and often with biting humor.
Rich Spinster
Pride & Prejudice
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This week on the Rich Spinster Podcast, RS has questions and unfortunately, the government keeps providing material. Farmers are outraged over the U.S. importing beef, while the government has apparently decided that protected wild horses need to be rounded up because…why not add that to the chaos? Then there are Natalie Harp’s eyebrow-raising love letters, complete with Pride & Prejudice references, proving that somehow Jane Austen has been dragged into this mess too.
And just when you think things couldn’t get any more absurd, Rich Spinster encountered perhaps the clearest sign that civilization is hanging on by a thread: a box of Cheerios for $9.99.
From politics and livestock to literary love letters and grocery-store robbery, it’s another week of asking the only reasonable question left: What in the hell is going on?
It's just all about love and life and living and freedom. That's what that's what it's all about for me now. Welcome to the Rich Spenster Podcast. I hope you guys had a fantastic week. You know, we are never, we are never short of things to talk about. The ranchers are mad, y'all. And what I want to know is who did the ranchers vote for? Y'all, I might just be out of empathy. It just occurred to me just now, as I'm recording this podcast, that I might be just completely out of empathy when it comes to people suffering the consequences of their choices. So, like right now, American farmers are crying foul because the US has decided we're going to import now 300,000 metric tons of beef so that the price of the beef can go down before midterms, because that's how stupid they think the American public is. Well, we just lower the cost of beef a little bit. They'll think that everything is fine. And what's crazy is it might work. I am done believing that people are better than they are. Let me say that again. I am done believing that people are better than they actually are. That people have the ability to take information, and based on that information, they change their minds or make different decisions. No, because at the end of the day, they got what they voted for, and what they wanted was a white man. Well, you got him. The National Cattlemen's Beef Association said that this is just undermining American products. But here's the thing. Here's the thing. What made you all think that farmers were a priority? Farmers have never been a priority. Farmers have been a pawn.
unknownWhat?
SPEAKER_00I guess it's like, what about him? Made you think that he gave a damn about farmers. This is why I say the American public suffers from a lack of education, but just basic education, just how things work in society, how government works in society. People don't know. And that lack of knowledge has the people suffering. And my question is if the election were happening today, who would they vote for? These motherfuckers would do it again. I believe that a lot of them would do it again. So this is just yet another reminder that the information was out there. Project 2025 is out there. In fact, the entire Democratic Convention was spent reading pages and excerpts from Project 2025. Did y'all think the Democrats were playing? Maybe y'all thought that people were playing about Project 2025 because I just, and maybe I don't have the capacity, right? Maybe that I truly just don't have the capacity to understand how a group of people can value something so meaningless as this as race. And let that one factor determine everything else about their current lives and the future of their children. And of course, so many people are not going to sit around and like say that that's the reason, but that's the fucking reason. America is suffering right now, and America is suffering from whiteness. Oh, the farmers, they're not suffering by the hands of Donald Trump. That is not why they are suffering. They are suffering because of whiteness, because they value whiteness above anything else, even if they don't acknowledge it, even if they don't believe that they do, or even if they don't have the language to articulate it, that is what it is. Because nobody in their right mind could have thought that was a good decision. Not anybody who was paying attention. And I'll take this a step further. You got this fool in Florida, Representative Um Donald. Donald's. What is his name? Donald's. Byron Donalds, who's going to be running for governor, GOP candidate, black man. Okay. Will always see that there is going to be a person of color or a black person willing to sell out their people for power. I wouldn't trust this man to run into the store to get me something, and yet he is running for the governor of Florida. GOP candidate. But that's not even my issue. My issue is seeing people online actually question whether or not they should support him because he's a black man. Let me tell y'all something right now. I don't know how at this point in life you cannot see that black people are used to hurt black people all of the time. That is in the playbook. What you need to be looking at is who he's representing, who he's aligning himself with. His blackness isn't important to him, so it damn sure should not be important to the voters of Florida. Thank God I don't live in Florida anymore. And let me tell you something. Florida is gonna really have a problem if they elect him. Oh, y'all think DeSantis was back? I personally, I don't even know if he's going to win. I don't think he's gonna win because that's how racist Florida is. I don't believe that they're going to just vote for the Republican black man. I think Jolly might win. I don't know. There should be no question about Donald's, okay? No question. I can look at that motherfucker and tell he never stopped going to Target. I also feel like people who would find it acceptable voting for him are the same people who never stopped going to Target. Like they voted for Kamala, but they never stopped going to Target. Y'all don't have the constitution for the revolution. That's the problem. That's the problem. I'm not trying to hurt any feelings. I'm just trying to tell you the truth. And I'm not like emotionally invested in the race, but what has had me emotional have been people questioning whether or not they should vote for him. What the hell do y'all mean? And listen, y'all can say what y'all want about Andrew Gillam. But though Andrew Gillam looks as though he may have a drug problem, I stand on the fact he still would have been a hundred times better than DeSantis any day of the week. I would have taken Andrew Gillam, addicted to math, over a clean DeSantis anyway. And plus, I don't believe DeSantis is clean. You can't look at his face and tell me he's not on Booger Sugar. I mean, come on. He looks like a coat head to me. So, allegedly. I don't know what it is, but people in Florida have historically always chosen really shitty candidates. So I honestly won't be surprised if Donald's wins, because it almost feels like what Florida deserves. But then I think about the great people that live in Florida, and I want better for them. I do. I want better for them. But what do they want better for themselves? There's just a culture in certain parts. And I'm from a small town in Florida, and I can tell you there's a culture of dumb. There is a culture of dumb. This Florida race is going to be so interesting. The GOP will use him, and he will gladly bend over and grab his ankles with a smile because he thinks that is going to get him where he wants to go. And it may. It may. All I know is that he's willing to do it. He's gonna look back, smile, and maybe give you a wink and saying, Yes, Daddy, just like that motherfucking Tim Scott. But let me get to this. What is going on with the horses? Why are we gathering up wild horses for slaughter? What what real are you just trying to actually just like pilfer every part of this country? And these are like hundreds of horses that they gathered up to send to slaughter. That sounds crazy, right? Unless you paid attention to Project 2025 when they said they were gonna round up the fucking wild horses. I so I mean, who just makes that decision that that's okay to cut costs? Let's go ahead and kill the protected wild horses. He used race, racism, sexism, definitely transphobia, definitely transphobia, xenophobia, all of these things. He used that. And so what he really did, and what a good cult leader does is they use your weaknesses against you, and there's so many weaknesses, and it worked, is it is absolutely insane. But let me tell you all what I have found fascinating and absolutely insane. Natalie Harp. What? I am absolutely obsessed with the story of this woman who is Trump's aide, who is not just Trump's aide, and forget about the fact that she's been his aide all of this time for like a year, and this she didn't even have the proper clearance. Let's just put that to the side. But I'm just mentioning that because remember Hillary's fucking emails? Okay. So this lady has not had clearance. She's had all access to the president, and she is obsessed with him. So this woman, she's like 35 years old or something like that. She's in love with this man. Dear Mr. President, since I was alone in the van outside of customs without my passport, I panicked. And I should have just called Secret Service instead of calling you. She'd like that person. Is she writing notes on the is she writing notes on his bathroom mirror too? Not because I care what other people think, but because I see myself being lowered in your eyes and good opinion. That is the fear you see, because I never want to bring you anything but joy. Who is this bitch and where does she come from? I want things to always be right between us. She thanks him for being her guardian and protector in life. What? You have to read her letters. I had no idea how rapidly I was approaching burnout and starting to envy those whose only job seems to be to talk with you and look pretty. I want that job. So many times I'm just trying to stay afloat with all that's coming in for you. I look like a hunchback who didn't have time to freshen up. At least you know what I should look like. But after going through all of this self-analysis, my conclusion I need to reunite my past self with my current into a better version who will make you proud. And please, when I fail, will you tell me? What is this? To modify a classic, I quote, I could not have parted with you to anyone less worthy, end quote. And I will add, it is I who is unworthy. Always Natalie. This is crazy. I think the bitch really likes him. Think about it now. The cult leader, nothing wets the panties of the women in the in the cult, like the cult leader. She's writing this motherfucker love letters. You quoted this motherfucker something from Pride and Prejudice. Jane Austen, you know good and goddamn well. Quoting Pride and Prejudice. The one thing y'all have too much of pride and fucking prejudice. Her letter just should have said, When and where do you want the coochie? You know good in good goddamn well Trump has not read any Jane Austen. And you need an intervention. There, this woman is clearly unwell. If she was just chasing the peen, I think it was weird. And like, why are you doing that? But it's worse for me because she's chasing love. She's chasing love from Trump. When it comes to Natalie, too, there is nothing more pathetic than seeing a woman chase after a man. Any man. I don't care what man that is. A woman chasing after any man for time, attention, love, approval, desire, value. Chasing after man for anything. Only way I'm chasing after man is if he has my wallet. This bitch is chasing after this man. And she's like, fuck Melania. I like for me. That's the funniest part of it. She's like, fuck Melania. You are the love of my life. You want to you want people to tune into the White House? You want people to tune into this circus? I need to see Melania step to Natalie live on television from the White House. That's what the fuck I want. Forget the ballroom. I want this fight. He he wanted that UFC freedom fight 250. No, we need Melania. We need Melania going 12 rounds with this bitch. And I'm not gonna be satisfied, honestly, until we get that. Natalie is trying everything she can. She's giving white woman tears, she's giving adoration, she's giving quotes from pride and prejudice. She's doing everything a hundred percent. She is up to date on her waxings. Oh, let me tell you something. That coochie is smooth like a dolphin for sure. She's ready at the at the drop of a hat. She is ready at the drop of a hat. I am obsessed with this story. I gotta look quick. How often can an 80-year-old be Jackie Light? You know what? I don't want this in my search history. Never mind. If Obama had ever had a bitch following him around the White House and on trips saying, basically, I need you to be my daddy, but not in the daddy way, but in the daddy way. Had Obama done that, not only would his ass not have gotten a second term, black people as a whole would have turned their backs on him for embarrassing them. This shit is crazy. All this for a motherfucker who probably kisses your neck and leaves applesauce. And for some reason, when I see this woman, Natalie Harp, you know what I think of? I think of the scene from A Bad Santa when she's having sex with Santa in the pool or the hot tub and she's just saying repeatedly, fuck me Santa, fuck me, Santa, fuck me, Santa. Is she saying that? But like Mr. President? So gross. I can't. I feel like Natalie Harp has basically offered her coochie up on a red, right, and blue platter from Walmart. I'm not gonna keep, I'm not gonna keep harping on this situation. See what I did there? Harping on okay. I'm not gonna keep harping on this situation because this fuck this bitch and fuck him. But I am just perplexed. In other news that absolutely disgusted me. Let me tell you something. General Mills, count your fucking days. I went to the store, and I'm gonna put the picture in this potty. I'm gonna put the picture right here. I went to the store this past week, and I noticed, oh, they have Cheerios that are like chocolate. And then you know what I thought? I wonder if they taste like the chocolate the cocoa pebbles. So I looked at the chocolate Cheerios because I was gonna get some honey nut Cheerios, but I got distracted because I'm like chocolate Cheerios. Wow, I've never seen chocolate Cheerios before. But then I looked at the price, and that shit said nine dollars and ninety nine cents. Nine dollars and ninety nine cents for Cheerios for chocolate motherfucking Cheerios. I could not believe it. I was in such shock, I had to take a picture of it because I said, you know what? If I tell somebody this, they're not gonna believe it. They're absolutely not going to believe that chocolate Cheerios were $9.99. Who is paying $10 for cereal? Now mind you, I live in the Northeast and I don't know where y'all live and I don't know what the prices are there, but I'm telling you what happened this week. $9.99 for some goddamn chocolate Cheerios that I just wanted to try. I won't be trying those bitches. I don't care if I had Oprah Winfrey money. I'm not paying $10 for Cheerios. That's just not happening. That's just not happening. Because I I just didn't know $10? You know, all the things that I could buy for $10. You could buy a package of chicken, you could buy rice like milk and creamer. You can buy tomatoes. Don't fuck with the lettuce because I don't know what's going on. I guess if it's not Taylor Farms, you can buy just so much with ten dollars. You could buy a lipstick with ten dollars, you could buy blush with ten dollars, you could buy a fucking vibrator on Amazon for $7.99. I just look, not for me, but for somebody else. What the fuck are we doing buying chocolate Cheerios for $10? That's all I'm saying. And if you were out there and you have purchased these Cheerios, I would like a full review. I would like a full review. Because let me tell you something. If I were to lose my mind and buy those and I take my first bite, I better have an orgasm. I better bust. If I'm paying $10 for the box, that that damn box better better have me feeling like Natalie fucking harp at her first glance of Trump in the morning. Fuck. I was so I was literally offended. I was on the phone, actually. I was on the phone when I was in the grocery store and I had my AirPods in and I'm talking, and then like I said, what 99. I felt like an old person and like a really old person. Like when I was a little girl, I would see old people in the grocery stores, and they would just be looking at the cost of things and saying, Oh my god, no way. No, and I would just laugh, like, why do old people do that? Now I know why. I know why. Now I get it. Now I get it. Now I get that. We got McDonald's at home. Listen, I feel like every day I'm getting closer and closer to like moving to fucking Idaho or something and living on a farm and growing my own shit, like living happily ever after off fucking grid. And did y'all see that fucking January 6er who got pardoned? He was arrested again for rioting. His name is Jake Lang. First of all, let me tell y'all something. I have never liked a motherfucker named Jake.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_00I have known a few Jake's in my life, and every last one of them was a piece of shit. No shade to all the good Jakes out there. I just haven't met you. So the fact that this motherfucker got arrested for rioting and he had been pardoned January 6th, right? This this shit. I'm telling you, I feel like this is all just like would be a horrifying series or a horrifying movie. And me and some of you, y'all are screaming at the screen saying the the call is coming from inside of the house. We're screaming. The call is coming from inside of the house. It's a lot. I wanted to end the podcast with some good news. Good news is my niece is all moved into her dorm. She's loving it. She's met friends, she's met sweetmates, and all of that. And so she's having a good start to her first year of college, which has really excited me. And she's made me want to watch like a different world again. Y'all know that there is a different world reboot coming. I think it's coming really soon, and y'all, I'm concerned. Okay. I love Whitley, Freddie, Denise, Ron, Dwayne. And it just meant so much to me. And now that I see that it's coming back, y'all, I'm afraid. I am afraid. I'm going to watch the reboot. I heard the theme song or a clip of the theme song that Brandy's singing. So that sounds beautiful. You got the vocal Bible right there singing the theme song. But maybe it just won't recreate that magic for me. And so I'm a little nervous about it. I don't want to watch it and not like the show. I want to watch it and absolutely love it. I don't know. Because anytime when I see reboots, I'm usually disappointed. I really am afraid that they're going to mess up a different world for me. It's for the next generation. I guess. I don't know. I don't think the next generation is worthy. But okay, I'm going to give it a chance. I'm going to give it a chance. But anyway, back to my niece. She's in college, she's doing well, and classes start this week. So I am sending good vibes out to her and to all of the students who are starting this new journey. Good luck this academic year. And on that note, thank you for listening to the Rich Spenster Podcast. You can listen to the podcast anywhere you listen to podcasts like Apple and Spotify. You can also watch the podcast in its entirety on YouTube at Rich Spenster. And please do follow me at Rich Spenster on Instagram where I hope you like and share my clips on social media. Have a wonderful week this week, everyone. And um spend your $10 wisely. I'll talk to you soon.