WHO REMEMBERS? The UK Nostalgia Podcast
Join "amateur" historians Andrew and Liam (thrice bronze medalists in 'The South Yorkshire Rememberers Chalice') as they travel back in time like Nicholas Lyndhurst in Goodnight Sweetheart and try to remember things from the past.
Do you remember Woolworths? Do you remember when Marathons changed their name to Snickers? Do you remember Del Boy falling through the bar? If so then come and remember with us. If not then stick around and we will probably remember it for you. You literally can't lose so why not hit the play button as hard as Paul Sykes hit that shark?
WHO REMEMBERS? The UK Nostalgia Podcast
Who Remembers........When Sports Stars Hit The Music Charts?
Remember when sports stars thought they could conquer the music charts? That fascinating cultural crossover period when athletes traded their training gear for recording studios is the focus of our nostalgic deep dive this week.
We kick off with the crown jewel of sporting musical endeavors - Glenn Hoddle and Chris Waddle's 1987 single "Diamond Lights." What began as a drunken karaoke performance at a corporate event somehow morphed into a legitimate chart attempt, with Hoddle embracing his pop star moment while Waddle looked like he'd rather be anywhere else. The contrast between their approaches perfectly encapsulates why these sporting musical ventures remain so endlessly fascinating.
Paul Gascoigne's "Fog on the Tyne" represents peak 90s football celebrity culture, released at the height of Gazza-mania following Italia '90. With its repetitive chorus and Gascoigne's unbridled enthusiasm, the song became an unlikely anthem at children's parties across the UK. Meanwhile, boxing champion Prince Nazeem Hamed's collaboration with hip-hop outfit Kalhipz showcased how minimal vocal contribution could still create cultural impact when backed by sporting celebrity.
The most bizarre entry comes from tennis star Caroline Wozniacki, whose heavily auto-tuned "Oxygen" represents perhaps the strangest athlete musical experiment ever recorded. With lyrics like "What's your name again, Caroline? You're my match point," it stands as a truly perplexing artifact of sporting musical ambition. We round out our exploration with "Snooker Loopy" - the unlikely 1986 hit featuring Chas and Dave alongside snooker stars like Steve Davis and Dennis Taylor - and The Rock's collaboration with Wyclef Jean on "It Doesn't Matter."
Join us for this affectionate look at what happens when sporting ambition meets musical aspiration, and share your own memories of these cultural curiosities with us on social media!
Hello, this is the podcast who Remembers and in this episode we're asking who Remembers when sports stars hit the music charts? Mass-produced electrical cars and something called the internet Stop shocking.
Speaker 2:Thanks, Steve, but none of the locals got paddling. Yeah, that's for me. No bottle this. Kids. I can't speak, you can't win anything with kids. Heck man, One of the superstar video games in the business. Do you think it's threatened to overrule them? Before we get a fool again, Remember when it's the lowest form of conversation. So this is sort of based on a suggestion from Matt, who, well, what he actually said is he's got the tweet up. Are you planning anything around hodl and waddle, just so we can get more authentic Chris Waddle impersonations? So I thought what we could do.
Speaker 2:Let's go. I thought what we could do is we didn't really want to do a full episode on diamond lights, but we'll start with diamond lights. So what we're going to do is pick three songs out each from sports stars, uh, who got in the music charts. We found it more difficult than we thought we would, because there's not actually that many is there well, yeah, because we set ourselves the target of trying not to just be footballers.
Speaker 2:We have ended up, yeah, with some footballers, but we didn't want it to just be six footballers, so we've tried to mix it up a little bit well, talking about the wikipedia article for a list of uk hit singles by footballers is illustrated with a picture of steve, because obviously he's on Come On your Red's, come On your Red's for 90 Minutes. But we've tried to stay away from that. These, what we've got here, are basically they are the main stars in it, I think, aren't they really? I mean, one of mine doesn't really work in that sense, but I think we could have had, for instance, world in Motion, because John Barnes gets a cameo in it. But it's not New Order. Featuring John Barnes is it.
Speaker 1:No, and it's not like the full team singing. It's a person or an individual contributing to a song.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely, I'll get straight on to it. I'm going to start with Diamond Lights 1987 single by the English footballers Glenn Oddle and Chris Waddle. Weirdly, did you know this? It released under their first name, so they were called Glenn and Chris. This it released under their first name so they were called glenn and chris.
Speaker 1:Why not oddle and waddle? Yeah, the one thing they've got to cash in on is that they're not known people if you look at the like the single cover, it is glenn and chris.
Speaker 2:When they're on top of the pops glenn and chris.
Speaker 1:I mean that can only be that they thought we're that good we don't need to be known as huddle and waddle I find this fascinating I know a lot of people talk about it before because it's a proper song.
Speaker 2:It's not like a jokey like the other two I've got. I won't say well, one of them is a bit of a joke song, but this is like a proper. This could. It sounds like Tears For Fears.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's genuinely pretty good. I mean, it's not like it's not fantastic, but it's of a decent standard, I mean there's worse. There's worse songs. I mean, we used to play a lot of clips on Living With Maidley, but we're swerving away from that because at some point we want to have a go at YouTube and we're worried they'll remove the channel. So yeah, it's just going to have to be our little versions of them.
Speaker 2:Darling, I love you.
Speaker 1:That's basically it. It isn't it. Yeah, I mean, we just said it pretty good, so yeah, well, I sold it to me. I don't know about you, I. I think it looks like hodl is really enjoying it. He would love the idea of being a singer. I'm not sure what waddle's doing there. He's not terrible, I just don't know. He's kind of just sort of singing, but not. It's like he's being told you've got to go and do this like some sort of charity work.
Speaker 2:I've got a quote from Waddle was this a charity single?
Speaker 2:no, no, it was just a normal single, so it came about. It came about following an appearance that Waddle and Hoddle, glenn and Chris did for their personal sponsors, budget Rent-A-Car, which is an annual company award ceremony. They went on and did an impromptu karaoke performance, which was praised by a friend with connections in the music industry who was able to introduce the duo to Bob Pusey, who wrote I'm in the mood for dancing, and he agreed to write and co-produce a single and that's how we got Diamond Lights. So I mean, you're right though, waddle, he's not Glenn. I think Glenn Hoddle in this. If you watch the Top of the Pops appearance and the music video, he's really getting into it.
Speaker 2:He loves it and he actually said said Hoddle has actually said that it's one of the greatest things I ever did. I'm glad I did it and I learned a lot from it, whereas you get the feeling that Waddle I mean you could do the Chris Waddle, but I imagine, like he was saying, this has got well out of hand, glenn, what we're doing on here.
Speaker 1:I don't know if I want to do it, Glenn, but I'll do it for you, mate. I'll do it if you want me to do it.
Speaker 2:It's just uncanny. Although Waddle did say at the top of the pop performance was the most nerve-wracking thing he's ever done. Think about it. He's a guy who took a penalty in a 1990 World Cup semifinal and he said going on top of the pops was the. He said they had to go on top of the Pops in person because the producers of the show refused to air their music video because it was that bad.
Speaker 1:On the music video I've seen actually, yeah, yeah, it's quite funny.
Speaker 2:Hoddle is dancing around and you can see Hoddle's just thinking I don't know what I'm doing here, pat, I don't know what's happening. How has this happened? They're obviously just like too drunk. They were obviously both drunk at this awards ceremony. I don't know if Waddle had been a drinker. Actually, obviously he was.
Speaker 1:Christian? Yeah, I'm guessing purely based on the era.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, mate, yeah. So they've obviously got up drunk and someone said, hey, you should release a single. And they've gone. Yeah, I can't imagine Waddle going. Yeah, yeah, I can't imagine. And Waddle's the day after or something saying I've got this contract. What? It's not a joke.
Speaker 1:No, no, no. I'd be interested to know what money they made out of it, if any, because obviously professional footballers weren't, as they were still well paid, but they weren't as ridiculously well paid. I wonder whether this was like an opportunity for them to make some money, or if they did it purely for the stardom Richard if they did it purely for the stardom Richard.
Speaker 2:Aikman from the Mirror said you get the feeling Waddle was rightly embarrassed to be there, while Hoddle genuinely felt it was the start of something big.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, I think that's a very good summary actually.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he also got. The Sunday Times included it in their worst moments in music history, which I think's harsh, because I think Hoddle's got a. I think if Hoddle's heard that song and thought this is all right, this and he's a decent singer in it. Glenn Oddle Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1:Oddle doesn't sound great Oddle's like mumbling yeah, but they're both all right and I think I would be proud of that if I was either of them. I don't think it's anything to be ashamed of.
Speaker 2:I reckon Glenn played it in dressing room before.
Speaker 1:Argentine in a game. I reckon Glenn played it in dressing room before Argentine in the game. I reckon there's a good chance he's playing it now.
Speaker 2:Darling, I love you. I didn't know this, but they recorded and shot a music video for a follow-up single called it's Goodbye, but the promotion for the release was hampered as Huddle was transferred to AS Monaco and it only got to number 92 in the British charts. But in the video the model's more into this. I sent you this earlier, didn't I?
Speaker 1:and he's like, he's like clicking his fingers and stuff in this one, but it's not. It's just not a good song. This one, uh, the follow-up no, no, I can't even remember. You sent me earlier today. I listened to it. Yeah, I can't remember, I've heard it.
Speaker 2:Four times I can't remember. But waddle later recorded a song called we've got a feeling with uh olympic marseille teammate basil bolly, which topped the the Albanian charts. Waddle said after a few beers I still like my karaoke, but you won't catch me singing Diamond Lights. Do you want to do another Waddle impression, saying that that's what the public are here for?
Speaker 1:What's he saying? You won't catch me doing Diamond Lights. Yeah, you can have a good look if you want, but you won't catch me doing Diamond.
Speaker 2:Lights. You won't catch me doing Diamond Lights. You won't catch me doing Diamond Lights. The success of Diamond Lights apparently was the inspiration behind one of your choices. I don't know who you're going to pick, which is Fog on the Time by Paul Gascoigne.
Speaker 1:What a great intro what a great segue into my first one yeah, beautiful Go. So I'm doing Fog on the Time which originally is a band called Lindisfarne, released in 1971. So they were still credited. Actually it was released Gazza, and Lindisfarne re-released in October 1990. Their lyrics were heavily revisited. Because I don't know if you've, the only bit I can think of is yeah, that's the only bit I can remember from it.
Speaker 2:yeah, fuckin' the time is all mine. I can't quite remember. Theogging the Tine is all mine, all mine. Yeah, that's the only bit I can remember from it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, fogging the Tine is all mine, fogging the Tine is all mine, all mine, so I can't quite remember the tune to the first bit. Sitting in a sleazy snack bar.
Speaker 2:It's up to the girl for saving.
Speaker 1:Two of those Geordie boys, something like that, isn't it Sitting in a sleazy sign off on the door?
Speaker 2:fog and the tide is all mine, all mine. Fog and the tide. I've listened to it today, by the way and he says come on. I used to think he said hear me now. I don't know why. Hear me now. Yeah, I used to think he said fog and the tide is all mine, all mine. Fog and the tide is all mine. Hear me now. But he doesn't. He says come on.
Speaker 1:I don't quite know what that I don't understand the original lyrics, the one that I always remember.
Speaker 2:the bit I always remember from it is going to make you dance, we're going to make you sing. Those Geordie boys do anything, which I don't know why. I always remember that line from it Because, like I say, I was massively into Gazza in 99, just after World Cup, gazza Peak, and I didn't buy it, I weren't completely mad.
Speaker 1:That's not actually credited as a lyric, so is that just like a bit of an over-the-top talking bit?
Speaker 2:Oh, maybe I watched the. I watched the music video earlier. I remember that bit stood out for me.
Speaker 1:Have you watched a different song where they say easy now.
Speaker 2:Easy now, Come on now. But most how long is him just singing Fog on the Tyne is all mine, all mine, I mean literally. It's about seven choruses of him doing that.
Speaker 1:When I was younger we used to go to Drumfield Sports Centre for a lot of kids' birthday parties. Loads of people had football parties and afterwards you'd get chip, butter and some jelly and ice cream and we'd just put on endlessly Fog on the Tyne. We'd just like it'd just be on like literally for like an hour of just fog on the time, like someone would just say, oh yeah, it's nearly run out, you're going to go put it on again. Yeah, hold on a minute. So I just put on another four versions of fog on the time.
Speaker 2:Did you like the song?
Speaker 1:I find it really catchy and I obviously really like Gazza. So yeah, I mean, in hindsight, I don't know why we didn't mix it up a little bit, but it just seemed quite cool to like it. I never knew what it was either. It turns out it is what I thought he said, but I thought I always thought it can't be. That Fog on the Tine is all mine, all mine. What is it? What's?
Speaker 2:he talking about what he's saying? There is Fog on the Tine is all mine, all mine. I think that's what he's trying to get across.
Speaker 1:Am I thinking too deeply about this? What's the sort of? Is it like you know, I've got nothing to my name, but the fog on the Tyne is all mine Like? Is it like a working class sort of you know, with poor people like? The original, but the fog on the Tyne is all mine, like that's, you know.
Speaker 2:So I'm just going on. Songmeaningscom. Fog on the Tine is a poignant song. Song reflects the struggles of individuals living on the dole in Newcastle during the 1970s, using the metaphor of fog to symbolise uncertainty and hardship.
Speaker 1:All right, so I'm not too far off then?
Speaker 2:Yeah, it has a chorus with its haunting melody Fog of the Tine is all mine, all mine. Fog of the T? Fucking the time is all mine, all mine, fucking the time is all mine.
Speaker 1:You know, I mean I can still say I don't know if he does this, but I can still see gaza, sort of he's like, jogging on the spot with his arms. Yeah, yeah, he's wearing a full tracksuit in here as well yeah, full tracksuit in the music video fucking the time he looks absolutely delighted, from what I can remember yeah, yeah, he is.
Speaker 2:He genuinely is. I mean, he's not. He was one of the people who did the rap, weren't he for World in Motion that got rejected.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Obviously there were three of them. There were Beardslay, which we played on the old Liver, and Mailer, which is just hilarious. You can be blue, fair, blue mosquito Barnes, which is decent. His is not bad, he's just sort of talking, isn't he? In this song? He's not doing much singing.
Speaker 1:He's fine. I think the melody carries it. It's fine. I don't know whether the Geordie boys still listen to it or what I don't know, but I've not heard it for a long long time.
Speaker 2:Strange, because he was playing for Tottenham at the time as well and he'd already left Newcastle. But yeah, thank you for that one, liam. I'm going to go. We're going to move out of football now because I'm going to talk about a boxer, and it's Sheffield's own Prince Nazeem Hamid. I've talked to a few people about this song. Our mate Tom, who is about the same age as us, can't remember this at all. I was speaking to hate workers a bit younger than us. He can't remember this at all, but this was a song by hip-hop artist Prince Nazeem.
Speaker 1:He can't remember it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I don't know how you pronounce this, it's a hip-hop outfit from Rochdale called, I want to say, calypse Calypse, I don't know what, because I've listened to it, because they did Top of the Pops and Jo Wilder's introducing, but she says it that quick I couldn't really get how you pronounce it, but anyway it features the then holder of the WBO featherweight championship, prince Nazeem, released in 1996 and got to number 23 in the charts. My cousin bought this on single and he used to live with us and then when he moved out he left that behind and I have genuinely still got this single on cassette well, I had it on a.
Speaker 1:Now I don't know which now it was on, but I had it on a. I want to say 28, 29 maybe, maybe 27 might be earlier, I don't know, but I certainly had it on a now tape. Yeah, I liked it purely because it was Prince Nazeem who I thought was fantastic so it's not a great song is it. But I think just a nice connection was good enough for me. So yeah, I used to really enjoy this.
Speaker 2:I don't know if they did a music video for it, because I can't find a music video for it anyway, but they did Top of the Pops and, unsurprisingly, it looks the part the Prince, but Gaz, like Gazza, you can tell he's not a singer, he's a footballer on stage Even Waddle and Waddle is an awkwardness. He could be in the band Prince Nazeem. Do you know what I mean? He's not.
Speaker 1:He doesn't look like a place whatsoever. He's a cool customer, isn't he? I'm trying to think just where was he in his career at that time?
Speaker 2:He was the WPO featherweight champion To retain his title.
Speaker 1:So beat Steve Robinson so just before he fought Molina, for anyone who knows his career. So yeah, it was kind of peak of his powers.
Speaker 2:I suppose I wonder how it came about. I mean, like I say, the hip-hop outfit from Rochdale? They didn't. I mean, they had a follow-up number which I'll get on to, but yeah, I don't know how this came about. Did they just phone him? Were you a fan of this band or whatever? Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1:I don't know if there's any sort of connection to his walk-ins and whether he listened to them pre-fact. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know if it's purely about selling records or if there's any connection. I don't know it doesn't actually do much.
Speaker 2:I was disappointed when I listened back to it because when you listen to it on tape, well, when eddie could say, I couldn't tell who were doing the rapping and who were doing what he doesn't actually do. As much I want to watch top of the pops. All he says throughout it in various stages come get some of this. Knock a lob uppercut princess in the house. That's it. That is all he says in the entire song. So the rest of them, like rap it and stuff, and he'd come get some of this knock a lob uppercut princess in it says Princess in the.
Speaker 2:House about 15 times in this song as well.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean it's kind of, I would imagine it's probably dreadful. I remember it fondly, but I'm sure it's not very good.
Speaker 2:Interestingly, this hit the charts the same week, the how Deep Is your Love by Take. That was number one which we spoke about last week.
Speaker 2:Yeah, even Naz couldn't stop the Barlow juggernaut Come get some. He should have done that. Take that, barlow, come get some of this. Knock a lob Up a car. Prince is in the house. The follow-up to this did not feature Naz. It was a cover of Golden Brown. Imagine that as well. Golden Brown, come get some of this. Have you ever seen? Uh, as I was searching, as I was searching for this, uh, I came across a clip of joe rogan talking about prince nazi. I don't know if you've seen this clip not sure I do.
Speaker 1:I've you know. I have said I'm. I'll put it out there. I do sometimes watch joe rogan yeah, he's.
Speaker 2:Uh, I don't know who he's talking to and he's going. Uh, hey, remember that guy, that guy in england. He used, you know, used to put his hands behind his back box, get him on the screen, puts him on, he goes. Was he a real prince? I don't think he's a real prince. Was he a real prince? I don't think so. No, I don't think he's a real prince. No, he's like. Look at him, he's like laughing his head off. He's like his little, his.
Speaker 1:Could he take a polar bear in a fight? I don't know.
Speaker 2:Jamie, pull it up, pull up the stats, pull up the stats. I mean, this guy's an English man, you know. He's probably been in the Navy. Yeah, he could be a prince. Why wouldn't it be Prince Nazeem Hamid? Like, imagine that, like ridiculous.
Speaker 1:Royal family. Imagine like Prince William, like dancing about in a ring.
Speaker 2:Imagine him a lot of uppercut, it'd be amazing. Naz wasn't the first UK boxer to release a song, though. Did you know that Nigel Benn, aka the Dark Destroyer, released a song called Stand and Fight in 1998, and it's genuinely Obviously? We're not going to play any clips, but go and listen to that. It's a decent song, nigel Benn. It's almost like an old-school hip-hop song. He's like doing a business. Brilliant rapper, but he gets. He's better than this, to be completely honest, but he didn't hit the charts, unfortunately.
Speaker 1:Sorry, really unprofessional. I've got um, I don't know if it's look North or calendar in the background. It can't be as I imagined it Like it, it must've cut away and come back. I was watching it and there's a massive close-up of Paul Daniels and Debbie McGee with his kid and I turned away like for probably about 45 seconds while you were talking and when I turned back that was still on the screen. I don't know if that was there for the full 45 seconds. Yeah, sorry, really made me laugh that.
Speaker 2:Paul Daniels yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, prince is in the house. Prince Nazeem, local legend, I mean. I don't know how he's perceived by the rest of the UK, but certainly sort of in these parts he's a legend.
Speaker 2:I've been told by our boxing correspondent, ege, that he's a very, very good analysis, analysis, analysis, analysis.
Speaker 1:I can't say it. He's not often on the Punditry, but yeah, he does. Obviously knows his stuff, his son's boxing now as well.
Speaker 2:Good lad. He is on the list to do an episode on, so we might go too deep into him, because he was a phenomenon, weren't he, back in the day? Prince is in the house. Prince is in the house. Come, get some of this. I'm going to be singing that all day now. Anyway, what's your next one?
Speaker 1:My next one. I'd be very surprised if anyone's heard of. It's quite hard to get information on it. So just to be a bit out there, a bit left field. So the tennis player Caroline Wozniacki. So she's Danish, she's been world number one, she's won multiples, she's won 30 WTA tour level singles titles. So hugely successful tennis player who for some reason decided to. I'm struggling to even find out if it was a band. I think it was just released by her and it's a song called Oxygen. Now, technically I think it charted because it got into the top 200 or 500 or whatever. I don't think it had any sort of success, but I've sent this to you today just to listen to. This is incredible, this song.
Speaker 2:I mean not in a good way Lots of money right this song, I mean not in a good way. She will have lots of money, right yeah.
Speaker 1:She doesn't need to do this. I cannot get my head around why you would do this.
Speaker 2:Obviously, check it out. Oxygen by. I'm not going to pronounce her name it's on. Youtube it was Niake, it was Niake. Or just put in tennis player Oxygen song. I've never heard, I don't think I've ever heard a song like so. When sports stars or actors or whatever go into the pop world, they normally do sort of just fairly standard, like a cover song or a bit of a cheeky daft song, or like Prince is obviously doing a bit of a rap.
Speaker 1:And they're normally there because they think they can hold a note, I would say, or like in Prince Azim.
Speaker 2:It's like a rap song. It's a bit cool. You know what I mean it. It shows it. Same with nigel berns one. This is just so odd. It's like I mean one of the comments on youtube I thought described it perfectly, but it was like it's all auto-tuned and it's basically like they've just took bits of it of their interviews and put them together into a song, because she's like I or where to where. It's like it's all over the place in it. It's like proper experimental.
Speaker 1:It's so weird so, yeah, it starts with the lyrics. You're in the air so I can keep on breathing, breathing. You know exactly how to keep my world spinning. Spinning. You're my ox, ox oxygen. I'm breathing you. I'm breathing you.
Speaker 2:I'm breathing you in ox oxygen the best bit in it is when, the, when there's a guy goes what's your name again, caroline? Because what's your name again, caroline? Because you, he goes. What's your name again, caroline? Because you're my match point, because you're my match point Awful, isn't it so bad? I don't know why she repeats her name. What's your name, caroline? What's your name, caroline? Why are you deaf? Why?
Speaker 1:put that in. I've told you my name.
Speaker 2:Caroline, I've told, I know you don't like it.
Speaker 1:I like Cher. Do you believe in life after love? You think there's far too much Synthesised voice.
Speaker 2:I listened to that recently. What I've done with that song is I thought the chorus was Do you believe that's not the bit, is it? It is ridiculous, that song. Well, I can't break through.
Speaker 1:There's no talk to you why does she do that?
Speaker 2:there's no time to be ridiculous, well I really like that song.
Speaker 1:I can bear it. It's sort of auto tune. It's not even auto tune, it's just synthesized. But this, the lyrics are appalling. We don't know if she could sing or not. My assumption is she can't, because there's not one bit that she's left to just sing in it. It's all up and down and tuned out of frequency and it's absolutely ridiculous.
Speaker 2:I don't know why she did it. It's such a bizarre one because I think you were going to have Peter Ebden, weren't you? The? I'm a clown. Yeah, I don't know what to make of that, to be honest, yeah, but that's a bit odd in the sense that it's a ballad, but you can sort of see that I don't know if there's been any celebrity who's not a singer who's done anything like this as a song.
Speaker 1:The weird thing is I kind of get someone who's successful, they've made their money out of tennis, and think do you know what? I'm just going to release a single. I think I can sing a bit. Yeah, absolutely. But then to just sort of tune yourself out of it, it might as well, she might as well not be in it. It might as well just be a pure dance track that's done on a keyboard.
Speaker 2:The YouTube comment fantastic. I can't remember what user it was, but he said, like it's like they've just taken bits of her talking and put a song because it's all over the place. This is a great find from you, to be fair. This because I'd never heard this song and I honestly just check it out. You don't have to listen to it once, that's enough for anyone, I think.
Speaker 1:The last thing I'll say on the matter, and so you can have like now we're on Spotify and Apple, so she's got a profile whether it's linked to something else, but on Lastfm I assume it's her We've got no idea if it is or not 249 subscribers. So the top track is Oxygen with 35 listeners. But if this is a really subtle, because we have things linked into ours that only get, like I don't know, 10 or 30 or whatever, so if it's like one of these obscure platforms that hardly anyone uses, it's not the number of listeners necessarily. That I found funny. She's done five tracks. Two of them are Oxygen, one of them is how my Name Is Really Pronounced and one of them is called I've Never Been Drunk.
Speaker 2:I've not seen some of these.
Speaker 1:No, no, I probably should have.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we might have to do some digging into these. To be fair, what's the name? What's the name song?
Speaker 1:How to Pronounce my Name.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that can't be a song, can it? How to Pronounce.
Speaker 1:My Name. They're just tracks.
Speaker 2:That's mad.
Speaker 1:I mean it's funny as well that she's already told us about 12 times in that other song what's your Name Again.
Speaker 2:What's your name, caroline? What's your name, caroline? You're my match point. Does that even work? Am I missing a really good pun or something there? You're my. You could say anything. You're my match point.
Speaker 1:Well, it doesn't. No, because if you're sort of trying to say, like you're my number one, well match point, doesn't mean you've won the match.
Speaker 2:No, no, it just means you've got a chance to win it and championship point is better than that.
Speaker 1:But would it not be like? You're my winning forehand?
Speaker 2:You could say you're 40 love. I don't know Something about love. Do you know what I mean? It makes more.
Speaker 1:It's 40 and I love you. Yeah, it's a ridiculous song my name is Caroline. Yeah, my name is Caroline so that's a bit of a quite obscure one. It's quite hard to find anything about it. I think it was so unsuccessful.
Speaker 2:Please listen to that.
Speaker 1:If you're listening to this, listen to that we haven't had anything to church yet, have we Not?
Speaker 2:yet. No, no, no, not just yet. But you know, maybe at the next roadshow we can get a single together. My last song that I'm going to pick out and this is a bit of a cheat in a way, because there's a lot of sports people in this and it's a classic, and it's Snooker Looper by Chaz and Dave, which he's performed alongside snooker players Steve Davis, dennis Taylor, willie Thorne, terry Griffiths, and is it Tony Miao? Tony Miu.
Speaker 1:Tony Miu. Yeah, I don't know, he might be the one I didn't recognise.
Speaker 2:But anyway they were billed as the Matchroom Mob and it was released as a single in 1986. It's got to number six in the UK singles chart, that's our way him and them, and them and me. It's a brilliant song. I'd be singing it all week as we were doing this. But this was the height of Snooker Manor in the UK. It came 12 months just after everyone had stayed up all night to see Dennis Taylor and Steve Davis, weren't they? The Black Ball Epic Game 1985.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you'd never get this. Now, I mean for one.
Speaker 2:I know, imagine you're Arielle Sullivan, snooker loopy Matt Andrew Hebden. He's coming out with some hits, but I think he's more of a serious artist, isn't he?
Speaker 1:by the way, on the hebden one, they all liked each other, which I just don't. I just don't think that exists anymore now, yeah, on the hebden one.
Speaker 2:By the way, it's a really slight. If anyone's not heard, it's called I'm a clown by peter hebden. But interestingly, by the way, the person who won the 1986 Snooker Championship, joe Johnson, was not involved because he was a 150-to-1 outsider before the tournament. So they didn't.
Speaker 2:No, they never put him in it. I think this is one of the greatest achievements in musical history. This song Making a song about Snooker, where you learn how to play the game, you know, like off the red and then the brown, do you know what I mean? Goes through like how to play the game.
Speaker 1:I'm not sure it's strictly speaking, a tutorial, though is it?
Speaker 2:I think it is, isn't it up top the red down?
Speaker 1:to the screw black summarises yeah, brown snooker loop.
Speaker 2:Obviously, snooker loop is not part of the rules, but it's unbelievably catchy.
Speaker 1:I think if you want to learn how to play snooker, this is not necessarily all you'll need.
Speaker 2:This is when I'm when I'm going around the sable. This is where I'm just in my head like what's the next ball? Pop the red, then the. I don't even know where it is actually. I don't have lyrics, so it's not. I have to put it on. Put it on my ear.
Speaker 1:World Championship stopping just to get tuning. Is it hold?
Speaker 2:on brown, then the blue yeah pink ball. What I like about it is it's a piss-take. Of all the snooker plays featured, I like the Dennis Taylor bit where it goes them long shots. He never, ever got why the old man boggles, but nowadays he pots this lot and he comes on and goes cos I wear these goggles? So what happens is at the end of every verse they obviously the snooker plays come in like that Each player gets his own little line, doesn't he?
Speaker 2:but my favorite one. There's entire verse purely about willie thorne being bald.
Speaker 1:I absolutely love it.
Speaker 2:But all willie thorne, his hair's all gone and his mates all take the rise. Take their eyes is brilliant. His opponent said cover up your head, because he's shining in my eyes when the light shines down and his bare crown, it's a cert he's gonna walk it. It's not fair giving off that glare. Perhaps I ought to choke it.
Speaker 1:It's just because he's bald, it's not like unusual imagine, like the meeting, where they're pitching it to him. Right, we've got lyrics about you used to miss, but now you've got your glasses. Steve Davis, yeah.
Speaker 2:I think it's about the black ball game that he lost. Like that's his version yeah and willie.
Speaker 1:Uh, obviously we've written a full verse about your bald head all right, no worries, all right, mate, thanks for that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, thanks for that. Uh, on the on the uh snooker loopy official video, the top, top comment on youtube is I want my britain back. It didn't need fixing. You always get them fucking sort of, but in my these days, if someone just put you up the first reply, where you're watching a Chaz and Dave video, mate, like chill out. You know what I mean. Why does everyone have to? Why does everybody? You're watching a Daft video. People are going. Oh, britain's gone, aren't it? Look at Snoop. You used to have Snoop Kaloopa. You wouldn't even get that these days, would you?
Speaker 1:Well, I do think these days you would not be allowed to sing that.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, I don't know if you've got the lyrics to hand.
Speaker 1:Do you want me to find the specific lyrics?
Speaker 2:I've got the lyrics to hand. This one was last successful in reaching number 91.
Speaker 1:What was it called the Something Rap?
Speaker 2:The Romford Rap. It's absolutely app. It is a rap, basically, but there's a. I mean, look, there's a, I'll sing the lyrics in it. Whether you're a paddy or a taffy or a jock or a jap, whether you're yellow, green, brown, blue, pink or black, you can still do the Romford rap. It's obviously trying to be inclusive.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's well-intentioned. It's not aged well, is it?
Speaker 2:Well, when I heard it, I had to rewind it because I thought, nah, you haven't said that. But yeah, that's fine. But these days you won't get away with it. But yeah, I mean obviously as an Irishman. Yeah, you're heavily offended.
Speaker 1:Well, I'm not, but I probably should be, shouldn, probably should be, shouldn't? That seems to be the way things are done. Yeah, but yeah. But like I say, I think it's they've tried to be, it's a clumsy attempt to be an inclusive um, this song absolutely blew my mind, so I watched this first, because you sent me through and I thought, yeah, yeah, and I kind of wasn't really paying attention to it.
Speaker 1:I was waiting for it to go into snooker lupe. I just thought maybe snooker lupe was called her on for rap and I didn't know that. Yeah, the bit that really confused me is so this is done like a behind the scenes video where they're filming a music video, so so I was absolutely convinced they were filming the video for snooker loopy and this was the background and we were seeing, like you know, we've got cameras filming, cameras filming them and like people sort of high-fiving in the background and stuff, and I thought, oh, that's quite interesting. So they've, they've used footage of the the filming of snooker loopy to create a new video. This is this is the standalone video. It's got nothing to do.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. What's going on?
Speaker 1:It's a video about making a video. Yeah, I was thinking. It's like is it Seinfeld, where he writes a sitcom about somebody trying to write a sitcom?
Speaker 2:Yeah, about trying to write a sitcom. Yeah, it is. It's genius, absolutely genius. And it's the last verse when it gets racist.
Speaker 1:So if you switch off around three minutes in, no, it does it a couple of times, I think.
Speaker 2:Does it? I thought it was the last verse.
Speaker 1:Oh, I think, does it I thought it was the last verse.
Speaker 2:Oh, you're right, you're right. Oh, yeah, you are right. Sorry, yeah, it does. Yeah, he sings it, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you can't listen to this in car with kids.
Speaker 1:Let me tell you that, oh God, yeah, I'm just looking now. Yeah, it's not any worse than that, is it? I don't know.
Speaker 2:No, no, no, no, but it's, it mentions Asian flu at one bit. Yeah, I don't even know what the lyrics are about. Now, split up the bugles. The bugles. If you're lucky, mate, they might sky in the only word. Then, if you can't see a way to pop the chimney, try the kitchen sink instead.
Speaker 1:They do rhyme and slant, don't they? So the next ball's called a runner bean, so that must be green. Ah yeah, that is the Ivor Novello Asian, the Ivor Novello Asian Fleur, with the blue then, and the Ivor that's the yellow Ivor Novello yellow.
Speaker 2:I've got a lot of time for. Have you ever heard Gertrude by Chas and Dave? I don't think so. Oh, it's unbelievable, gertrude. And he goes when England got knocked out by the Poles. Gertrude when the pub won't serve another round. G Gertrude when the pub won't serve another round. Gertrude, it's so unbelievable, ain't no? Pleasing you is a genuinely fantastic song by Chas and Dave. One of my big regrets is never seeing them live.
Speaker 1:I think that would have been a fantastic night of entertainment. Yeah, I mean, it's not one of my biggest regrets, but I would like to have seen them.
Speaker 2:Did I just say regret? I meant in gigs, not like in life. Did I just say biggest regret? My biggest regret in life is not seeing Chas and Dave, but yeah, a great, great band. Anyway, liam, what's your next one?
Speaker 1:My finale. I don't know if I like this song or not, to be honest. Sorry, I've opened a couple of extra research windows. So this is a song by Wycliffe Jean featuring the Rock and Melky Sedeck. It's a song called it Doesn't Matter. Now, I don't know if this was big or not. No, it was.
Speaker 2:When I was going to the gym.
Speaker 1:A lot it was played all the time, so 26th of June 2000. It didn't actually do very well, like to say, because it was on. Whatever the channel in the gym was MTV or whatever whatever the thing was, it was always on. So I assume it was a massive hit.
Speaker 1:I think it was yeah, well, it got to number three and spent 11 weeks in the top 100. But I don't know. I kind of thought it was going to say something like spent four weeks at number one or something, but now number three was its peak, I mean in.
Speaker 2:America, it only got to number 80. That's interesting. It's brilliant because, as with all, Wycliffe.
Speaker 1:That's not even in the music charts. That's in the Billboard R&B slash hip-hop singles charts.
Speaker 2:You'd thought they'd been bigger there. As with all Wycliffe John songs of this era, it starts with the Rock saying the songs of this era. It starts with the Rock saying the Rock and the Refugee Camp, yeah.
Speaker 1:Why does he do that? This is the Rock kicking it with the Refugee.
Speaker 2:Camp yeah, kicking it, and you're about to smell what the Rock is cooking. Obviously, we've talked about Tom Jones doing it before, but he even uses it, Tom Jones' Refugee Camp Ridiculous. What are you talking about? But yeah, this I didn't realise until I listened to this bag how little the rock's actually in this. It's a bit like the Prince Nazeem one where he just says, it doesn't matter that's it, and then he'll.
Speaker 2:There's quite funny bits at the end where he says I've won a gram. It doesn't matter how many grammars you've won throughout the song realistically is, it doesn't matter yeah it's.
Speaker 1:I mean I don't know I liked it reminds me of a certain time. It's not a great song. I remember people, I remember dave, all that we work with, finding it like genuinely quite cool, like walking around saying it doesn't matter because the thing is like didn't he have something without? I know he had a catchphrase yeah, but yeah, there's something else. Yeah, so I someone would say what rock is cooking, but it doesn't matter, there's something else, yeah so I, someone would say I'll tell you what.
Speaker 2:It doesn't matter what you think that was one of his lines that he used to do, but the lyric that always stuck in my head.
Speaker 1:I love this bit. Sometimes, genuinely, I sort of sing this to myself. I got 50 Bentleys in the West Indies. Yeah, I remember that I love this line. I've got a pocket full of cheese and a garden full of trees. It doesn't matter, I think that's such a good line Pocket full of cheese and a garden full of trees Full of trees.
Speaker 2:It doesn't. Do you know what I love about Wycliffe Jones? By the way, I once, when I'm guilty I don't know why I'll have to admit what is it the thing I'm most ashamed about? When I was younger I had the Shaker Maker single by Oasis and I thought that was Oasis, probably his Oasis was single at that point and I swapped it with someone at school for Wycliffe John's Gone Till November. I'll be gone till November, january, february, march, april, may. Remember that? Yeah, I thought until November January.
Speaker 1:February, march, april, may.
Speaker 2:Remember that yeah yeah, I think that's probably a fair trade. Yeah, yeah, I thought, yeah, I mean I had all the Oasis singles and I swapped that for I think I've still got it somewhere. But another one I like by him is please call 911. Remember that one. He definitely sang.
Speaker 1:I don't know if you've put a false memory in my head of that like some sort of Mandela thing.
Speaker 2:I only know that through you saying it he starts like and it's just like someone please call. Then the end is getting more. Someone please call 911, like with John featuring, because that were always used to. He always used to like he'd never do a song on his own. Would he yeah zone, would I?
Speaker 1:be. Yeah, it's a feature.
Speaker 2:Someone don't know yeah, yeah, mary j blige, or destiny's child, or wherever it'd be. Yeah, um, this was a lot more difficult than I thought it would be when I thought it's a good idea that we'll just do singing, sports stars and stuff not many of them charted, it's not.
Speaker 1:It's not like a well-worn it's not as big a thing. I think you kind of in your head it's like oh yeah, do you remember when old footballers were releasing singles? There's not actually that many is there. Or maybe it's just not many that were successful. I don't know.
Speaker 2:Well, like I say, there is a wiki page for lists of UK hit singles by footballers, but there isn't one for just normal sports stars. But a lot of them are, you know, like the West Ham team FA Cup fight. Do you know what?
Speaker 1:I mean, are you like more modern? Has anyone more recently had a go?
Speaker 2:well, I'm just looking here. And the last one was 2020 Everton, which I presume for an FA Cup yeah, but I don't mean that.
Speaker 1:I mean more like your Hoddle Waddle, where somebody just went and did a single. Is that still a?
Speaker 2:thing. According to this 1999, andy Cole, with Outstanding which got to number 68 and that was the end of it. Yeah, Ian Wright did do the right thing, which were 43 in the charts I should have done. He did a chicken tonight. I like chicken tonight. I like chicken tonight. He did the advert. He didn't do it as a single he should have released that.
Speaker 2:that would have been a massive hit. Gazza had two hits the Geordie Boys. The Gazza rap got to number 31. Hodlum Waddle and the first one was our mate, Kevin Keegan, who did Head Over Heels in Love. I don't know if you've seen video for this where he's so classic, Keegan, he's so sincere, he's like head over heels.
Speaker 1:I can picture it, I don In my head. He's got a massive oversized collar, obviously permed hair and, yeah, looking sad eyes at the camera.
Speaker 2:Yeah, sad eyes. He wrote it with Chris Norman, who were well-famous for being in Smokey, who were probably most famous in this country for doing that song with Chubby Brown who the Fuck is Alice? All right, we should definitely do that. That's another mad song that hit the charts at night. Like I say, we could have easily done the actor. We'll probably go back to actors who hit the charts, but, yeah, comedians who hit the charts. Chubby Brown somehow got in the charts with who the Fuck Is Alice. But that's not for today, Liam. That's for another time. Next week we're going to go back to more proper remembering, aren't we?
Speaker 1:We're going to go back to more proper remembering, aren't we? Yeah, but we're not announcing.
Speaker 2:No, we're not announcing it. But yeah, if you've not enjoyed this one and you've not enjoyed, say that, two music ones, don't worry, because we're going to be coming back.
Speaker 1:Different angle.
Speaker 2:Coming back in a different angle With Slipstick. Yeah, yeah, but thanks for that, mark, for giving us the opportunity to talk about at least talk about Fog and the Time, which is a good song, and, yeah, we'll see you next time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, thanks everyone for listening.
Speaker 2:Hear me now. Thank you for listening to who Remembers. If you want to get in touch with us, you can find us at whorememberspod, at outlookcom. If you are a right-wing fascist, you can find us on Twitter at whorememberspod. Or if you're a Wokenor, you can find us on BlueSky at WhoRemembersPod. Once again, thank you for listening and we'll see you next time for more remembering.