Choosing Light After Loss

What does it really take to stay kind when life isn’t? We sit down with Clara, our practice administrator, to trace the winding road from a strict, love-filled childhood to teenage rebellion, and then into a young adulthood marked by the loss of both parents. The story moves through small Florida towns, dorm rooms, restaurant shifts, hospice hallways, and finally, a fresh start in Orlando—each chapter revealing how hope can be chosen, trained, and carried.

Clara opens up about splitting time between divorced parents, forging an inseparable bond with her stepsister, and making the bold decision to live with her dad at fifteen. She shares how grief arrived twice: first with her mom’s fast-moving cancer, then again during COVID as her dad declined amid masks and uncertainty. Along the way, she found refuge in people: classmates, coworkers, and friends who made Gainesville feel like a net. That community—plus a growing art practice—helped her metabolize pain without letting it harden her.

We unpack the difference between toxic positivity and sustainable hope. Clara’s toolkit is simple and repeatable: nightly Do Not Disturb to protect sleep, quiet time without screens, time outside to reset, journaling to name emotions, and steady reflection to keep perspective. She explains why feeling everything matters, how boundaries can be loving, and why choosing optimism is a daily practice rather than a mood. If you’re navigating grief, family complexity, or a season of reset, you’ll find practical ways to ground yourself while keeping your heart open.

Listen for a candid, compassionate look at resilience, mental health, and the everyday habits that support a positive mindset. If this conversation resonates, share it with a friend who needs light, subscribe for more human stories, and leave a review to help others discover the show.

Transcript

Meet Clara Beyond The Job

SPEAKER_00 0:14

Welcome back to Kator Conversations, where we go beyond beauty and aesthetics and dive into the real stories that shape who we are. Today's episode is a really special one. I'm Lindsay, your host, Lita Stitian, here at Kator Medzpa, and I'm sitting down with Clara, our practice administrator at Kator Medzpah Coe. While many of you may know her for her leadership, her organization, and the way she keeps everything running smoothly in the spa, today we're shifting our focus away from her role at Couture into her real life. Clara has faced some real struggles from childhood into adulthood, yet she continues to show up every single day as one of the most positive, uplifting outlooks I've ever seen. Today we're talking about the strengths, where her strengths come from, how she navigated her hard seasons, and what keeps her choosing positivity even when life is not easy. Thank you, Clara, so much for being here today.

SPEAKER_02 1:07

Of course, girl. So this is this is your first time in our news studio. It is. I like it. So much more comfy. Just throwing my feet up, relaxing, hanging out with my friend. Got the cozy bags in here. Yeah, I love them.

SPEAKER_00 1:24

Well, I'm so excited to have you back.

SPEAKER_02 1:26

Thank you for today.

SPEAKER_00 1:27

We're gonna dive a little bit deeper into who you are as a person and what's shaped you and made you the amazing, wonderful, positive, happy person that you are today. I love so much.

SPEAKER_02 1:43

Aw, I love you too. Thank you. I think so.

SPEAKER_00 1:52

So for anyone who may not know you personally, how would you describe yourself? Not by your job or by your title, but who is Clara as a person?

Childhood Moves And Divorce

SPEAKER_01 2:00

Overly optimistic and positive. Obviously, I have my days to where it's hard to do that, but I think it just comes so naturally. I I love being outside, I love the sunshine, I love being grounded and reflecting and observing, and I love being a human.

SPEAKER_00 2:20

That's who I am. I love the human that you are. So um when people interact with you, what would you say? What do you feel is one of the first things that they notice about you?

SPEAKER_01 2:34

Um that's what do you feel? I don't know. Um uh maybe maybe that I'm nurturing naturally. Um, I care about people whenever I'm uh interacting with anyone. I try to just like, hey, we know each other. We're both humans, let's just do this together. I don't know. Maybe maybe that I'm nurturing and I would say positive.

SPEAKER_00 3:01

I would say I felt that. So the first time I I don't remember the first time that I met you because we didn't work at the same location, but one of the first times of being around you, I was like, I want to work with her. Like you did just have that very positive vibe, and it just was very welcoming. So I think that that that is what people notice when they first meet you. At least that's one thing I noticed, and then I notice clients. Um, I know we're talking outside of the spa, but working with you in the spa every day, I notice clients know that about you, like you have that positivity and you just feel very welcoming. So thank you. That is, I feel sorry to you as a person. Thank you. Well, there's my answer right there. So let's take it back to the beginning.

SPEAKER_02 3:46

What was your childhood like? Oh, where'd you grow up?

Choosing Dad And Teenage Freedom

SPEAKER_01 3:50

Oh, well, I grew up a lot of places. Um, I grew up in Daltona, um, and then kind of from there went back and forth between New Smyrna and Daltona, and then to South Florida, and I have grown up in so many places, but I think that where I probably was shaped was South Florida, Vero Beach to Naples. What was what was your childhood like? Did you have any um child of divorced parents? So traveling was a big thing going back and forth. Um, I was a super happy kid, always wanting to be outside, and I think I just wanted to live life really early on. Um, and I just always wanted to have fun and have like a new experience. Having divorced parents was definitely not easy. Um, and it was hard for a really long time, but I think that um, you know, as a kid, you just go with the motions, and there were very sad moments, and then there were moments to where it was just like, okay, this is my new normal, and I have to just go with it.

SPEAKER_00 5:12

Did you spend most of your time like 50-50 between your parents, or were you a majority with one parent over the other, or did that change throughout?

SPEAKER_01 5:20

Majority was with my mom, and I would see my dad every other weekend, so that was hard. Um, I feel like I was always wanting to see my dad and would have to wait basically two weeks to see him. And uh then when I got into my teen years, I moved in with my dad, and we moved to South Florida.

SPEAKER_00 5:42

Oh, okay. So that's how you ended up in South Florida for okay. Yeah. So your times that you had with your dad, those like every other weekend. What were what were those weekends like? Never with my dad.

SPEAKER_01 5:55

Never with my dad. Um he he had um his wife and her daughter, so my stepsister, I was always with her.

SPEAKER_00 6:04

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 6:04

And we would just go to the beach and hang out with what's that age difference? Two years. Okay, yeah, two years. So we're pretty close in age and we were basically inseparable. So that was that was a positive out of it, but also I feel like in the back of my mind, I was always like, I want to hang out with my dad. Yeah, but yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:27

Now, did you get to make the decision when you got older to go live with your dad more full-time, or we can get pretty deep for a second.

SPEAKER_01 6:36

Um I think that I had always wanted to be with my dad because I had my stepsister and there was more freedom. I had loose reins when I was with my dad. Um, my mom was very strict and wanted to kind of shelter me from a lot of things. I think because she was hurting. Um, but yeah, I I chose to be with my dad very abruptly.

SPEAKER_00 7:08

How old were you?

SPEAKER_01 7:12

I think I was 15. Yeah, I think I was 15 when I yeah, because we I remember it was like a summer and I was like, you know what? I'm gonna go live with my dad. I I just need to I need to live life and I need to be free. And I was a rebellious teenager. I was like, I need to go live with my dad. So I moved with him to New Smyrna, and then a month later we moved down to South Florida.

SPEAKER_00 7:40

Okay, yeah. Did you still have a relationship with your mom once you moved in with your dad? I did.

SPEAKER_01 7:49

Um, I I did not want to, but I did because that's my mom and I loved her, but I just I needed a break, I think.

SPEAKER_00 8:01

So yeah, I did. Do you feel how do you feel those choices that you made back then have shaped you now? Or is there anything that I know I hate to always say like if you could go back and change something would because we can't, but is there anything you maybe learned from that time or you reflected on that you maybe would have, or do you think your decisions were like, I made the best decisions?

SPEAKER_01 8:29

I oh that's a oh that's such a good question. Um, I think that I'm happy with the decisions that I made, however, I wish that I allowed myself to be a child and didn't make those decisions too at the same time because my mom was incredible. I would have never substituted my mom for anyone in the whole wide world. Um, and I I think part of me is like, Clara, that was so mean. You just wanted to be free, but really, you know, my mom just loved me a lot and she wanted to take care of me. And I said, no, I need to go live life and be bad.

SPEAKER_00 9:15

Have fun. Do you have any fun stories from when you were uh moved after with your dad and got to get to be more uh on your own? Oh yeah.

Losing Mom And College Coping

SPEAKER_01 9:24

Oh yeah, girl. Uh anything my stepsister would say, I would do. She wanted to sneak out in the middle of the night. We would sneak out. We never did anything bad, which is the funniest thing. Like we would literally just go to our friend's house and like listen to music. We would never do anything bad. It was just like, oh, we're gonna sneak out and go over to so and so's house and watch movies and literally listen to music, and then we would sneak back home in the middle of the night and pretend like we never did it, and then the next morning we'd hear, I had a dream that you guys snuck out last night, and we'd be like, that's a weird dream to have. Crazy I was in bed, yeah. Um, look at our room, our beds are messy, so we don't know what you're talking about. But I mean, sneaking out is bad to me. I'm like, ooh, naughty. Troubling. Were you very much a role follower for most of your life? Oh, 100%, absolutely. Um, I think that it terrified me to get in trouble because my mom was very strict, my dad was also very strict, but he had like a flexibility to him to where it's like, okay, if you're not drinking, if you're not doing drugs, like I'm not gonna get mad at you. So I think that was always like what I followed as long as I'm not doing drugs or drinking, I'm okay.

SPEAKER_00 10:52

That's why you got away with just going to listen to music. It's not gonna give you too hard of a time.

unknown 10:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:58

All right, so moving a little bit more into adulthood. So obviously, challenges still continue as we get older. There are any been challenges that you've had coming into adulthood that have really tested you.

SPEAKER_01 11:10

Yeah, um, a big one. My mom died when I was 18, and that was very hard and definitely shaped like the beginning of my adulthood. Um I think that I wasn't able to really process it because it was such a fast process. She passed away from cancer. Um, I think she was diagnosed when I was 17 or maybe 16. Uh but it just went so fast, and I remember not really being able to process it and then getting into college, and I think I had a moment where it was just like, whoa, I'm just now realizing like this is my life. My mom is gone. I wasn't talking to my dad at that time. Um and I think that that really shaped a big portion of my early 20s. And then um you know, one day after that, I was just like, okay, I can't let this shape me, but it'll always stick with me. So I think that that was probably the biggest struggle I had in my early adulthood.

SPEAKER_00 12:29

Was there anything that you did either while your mom was sick or after that kind of helped you cope?

SPEAKER_01 12:42

Um yes, I think that being around people, just putting myself out there and putting myself just around a whole bunch of people, it almost I think it was a distraction and it helped me cope, but through that I think I realized oh no, I really love people, like I love being around people, I love learning about people. Um and I think you know, just doing anything with friends, I think that was like my coping mechanism that just be around people, don't be alone, like you can't you can't shut yourself off. Even if you feel really sad, you just you have to keep going.

SPEAKER_00 13:32

Did the passing of your mom bring any sort of new like appreciation for your mom?

SPEAKER_01 13:44

100%. Oh 100%, and it's sad too. Um not it's sad, but I I reflect on it and it's such a like I I love thinking about it. Um, we had a pretty tumultuous relationship up until I was like 15 or 16. Um or maybe I don't know, my age range might be a little, it might have been off, but um I think when I was 16 was whenever I like really loved being around her. I thought she was fun. I think I started to see her in a different light, maybe because I was older, and um I remember there's one specific memory. I was in college. This is gonna be weird. I was going to the bathroom and I took a piece of toilet paper and I started dusting the side of the bathtub, and I was like, oh my, I am my mother. Like, this is something she would do. And I think that moment literally changed the way that I viewed her. I viewed her as just she was perfect with all of her imperfections, and she did the best that she could with what she was given, and I think that specific moment really made me realize nope, she was the best mom that I could have had. So yeah, I think I appreciate her more and more every single day.

SPEAKER_00 15:19

So after that time period, what what happened next in Clara's life? Where'd you go from there?

Dad’s Illness Amid Early COVID

SPEAKER_01 15:25

Um, I was living in Gainesville. So right after she passed, I moved to Gainesville. Um probably a rash decision, but I was like, I don't know anyone there. I love the Florida Gators. Let me go to Gainesville. I'm gonna go to school, I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do this. Um went to school at Santa Fe, um, got a degree in studio art and started working. I worked um as a restaurant manager, waitress, bartender, busser, whatever role was there. I did that for a really long time and made the best connections I think I've ever had in my entire life. Um, those relationships really helped shape me as a person. And then after Gainesville, um, I left right when COVID was starting. So the beginning of 2020, I found out that my dad was um sick, he had stage four cancer, and I moved back down to South Florida. I stayed there with him during his battle, and then COVID really happened, and I just stayed down there. That's what came up next.

SPEAKER_00 16:45

So then we so your dad was sick during COVID? How was that? Because I know like how hospitals were at that time and doctor's offices and everything.

SPEAKER_01 16:57

Was that a hard not being able to like oh it was weird, yeah? It was so weird. So I think I went down, I went back to Naples in March of 2020. No, yes, March of 2020 or February of 2020. Um, and it was so fast, so it was the beginning of COVID, nobody knew what was really going on, it wasn't really plastered all over the news yet. Um but he was just really sick. Um I got to hang out with him for maybe a few days, and then I drove back to Gainesville to work for a weekend, and whenever I got back, it was like, oh he's he's really declining. Um, so hospice came in and I remember like going in the house with a mask on, and he was really confused. Why are you wearing a mask? What's going on?

unknown 18:00

He doesn't know. He doesn't know what's what's happening out there.

SPEAKER_01 18:04

Um so it it was a really weird time, and then he passed at the end of March. So it was a very quick, it was very quick, very, very quick, very thankful that I got to be there for a little bit of it. Um and then, you know, right after that it was like, oh, we're really in the midst of COVID. So it was just it was a really strange time. Bars closed, restaurants closed, I couldn't work. I was in South Florida again. I was like, okay, I don't really know what to do. I don't know where I'm going. I'm just gonna stay down here with the family that's down here and figure it out.

SPEAKER_02 18:45

So it was a very weird time. So, how'd you end up in Orlando? Um so now you're here. So now I'm here.

Starting Over In Orlando

SPEAKER_01 18:56

I ended up in Orlando. I left South Florida. I think that um my aunt was up here and I really missed being around my mom's family, and I think I missed my mom after going through that with my dad, which is like I really miss my mom's family, and I was always super close with them growing up. Um so my aunt is here and I am with her, so I just ended up with her. As soon as I got here, I started looking for work and I was lucky enough to have a genius idea to be like working on my goal. Let me just look it up online. That's how I ended up to work.

unknown 19:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:47

I'm glad your story brought you here. Me too. It makes me very happy. Me too.

unknown 19:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:53

Do you believe having a positive mindset has something you actively choose, or do feel like it comes very naturally to you?

Practicing Positivity Daily

SPEAKER_01 20:02

Ooh both. Both. Um I think that even as a kid I was so positive and like open to just ideas and you know things that maybe weren't normal. Like I just I think I've always been overly positive. Um but I actively choose to be that way too. I think that whenever I reflect and it's so easy to go down a different path and you know let life experience shape you in a negative way I actively choose to whatever I've dealt with in life I I'd rather be positive than not be.

SPEAKER_00 20:48

So I I take that as an active measure every day.

Boundaries, Reflection, And Advice

SPEAKER_01 20:54

How do you protect your own peace while still allowing yourself to like feel and process all these feelings how do I protect my peace I think by reflecting um I think that I observe a lot I reflect a lot I try to stay pretty grounded um protecting my own peace I think that I'm she puts her phone on do not disturb I do I do I absolutely do I have an a uh uh like sleep setting that goes on I I don't touch my phone if I do I don't know why but um yeah at night like I definitely just try to shut down and and allow myself to separate from work or you know any anything that takes away from me time I really like having me time quiet time um I like hanging out with my family I think that's how I protect my bees do you feel your personal journey influences the way you show up for other people in your life I think so and I think that it was a very unintentional thing um when I was in college and I started working someone was like do you always like poop out rainbows and like like unicorns like are you always this happy and I was like yeah I am and I I said you never know what someone's going through and I think that I just something I think I've always been you could give one piece of advice to anyone out there who is struggling to see the positive in life they're going through a rough time right now or they've had a rough past or anything what advice would you give someone go through your emotions feel them um but don't let it define you you know absorb everything that you're feeling find an outlet whether it's you know being outside in nature or journaling or doing something that allows you to reflect on how you're feeling and notice that that's not your end all you can you can um transform you know anything that doesn't feel positive into a positive so I think that would be my it's easier said than done but as long as you convince yourself that that can be true I think that that's it's definitely possible.

SPEAKER_00 23:37

Well Clara thank you so much for sharing your journey and you truly do radiate positivity and you bring a good outlook to everything um most of the time we have our bed sessions and that's about two we're given our time um but I think you know you and I we share a lot of similarities in some of our journeys and I think your positivity being around you helps me continue with that positivity and just keeping a good outlook on life and I think that anyone who is struggling or has had a hard past I think like you said it's easier said than done but making a conscious effort to look at the positive on things um and I think you do a really good job of that so I appreciate you sharing your journey and your story and love getting to know you as a person outside of work and I think you're wonderful and amazing so I love you and I appreciate you and you definitely help I mean there are days we're human we we have to feel things and go through things but you definitely reel me back in and I I love you to pieces you're welcome so if this story resonates with you or someone that you know send it to someone who might be struggling um having a hard time but like share subscribe you can find us on all of our social media channels so we're on Instagram YouTube um Spotify all the things you can visit us at katormedspol.com um find out what we do during our work life also so thank you so much for joining us and we'll see you next time