Episode 11: Let’s Talk About Leadership (Special Guest: Chuck Alston)

Let’s talk about… leadership! 

So excited to share this conversation with my longtime, dear friend Chuck Alston—better known to me as “Papa Chuck.” Him and his wife mean so much to me, and I’m truly grateful for the role they’ve played in my life. 

Chuck is someone I’ve always looked up to in the way he values people, pours into others, and leads with intention. I’ve had the honor of serving alongside him in leadership within our College & Young Adults ministry at LIFE Community Church—which is actually where this podcast began. 

In this episode, we talk about:

• What leadership really is

• What makes a strong leader

• How to handle difficult situations

• Leading with influence and impact

• Men stepping into spiritual leadership at home

• Leading in every season of life

• And ultimately, how to look more like Jesus… the greatest leader of all

Tune in now on Instagram (@letstalkaboutit.convos), Spotify, & Apple Podcasts!

…and if you’re local, stop by Biscuitville and say hey to him!

Please be praying for Papa Chuck and Mama Carrie as they step into what God has next for them. I love them both and am so thankful for their impact on my life.

Next month, we’re diving into strongholds & spiritual growth with a new guest - fun facts and clues drop May 1st! 

Also… our 1 year anniversary is almost here!! Still can’t believe it. So grateful for what God has done and excited for what’s ahead! 

"Let's Talk About It" is a podcast for young adults navigating real life and real faith. From doubts and church hurt to purpose, relationships, identity, and even financial advice - we dive into the conversations most people avoid but everyone's thinking about. No fluff, no filters - just honest talk to help you follow Jesus in today's world. Enjoy monthly episodes featuring powerful insights from Christian young adult leaders and voices shaping today's faith culture.

Hosted by Elizabeth Peck.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:11

Hey everyone, welcome to Let's Talk About It. This is episode number eleven, and it's called Let's Talk About Leadership. And drumroll, please. The special guest is Charles Alston, aka Chuck Alston, aka Papa Chuck. Welcome.

SPEAKER_04 0:34

Thank you. I guess that's a lot of names and a lot of hats to wear, I guess.

SPEAKER_01 0:39

Yeah, yeah. So I want to do the wonderful honor of introducing Papa Chuck to you all. Papa Chuck is no stranger to Life Community Church in Jamestown, North Carolina. I had the wonderful honor of having his lovely wife, Carrie Austin, aka Mama C, who was on last month, where we talked about boundaries. And him and his lovely wife have been gosh a part of our lives for the Peck family, me and my family for a long, long time. They are literally like second family. They are just so precious.

SPEAKER_04 1:22

No, it's actually been longer.

SPEAKER_01 1:24

Oh my word.

SPEAKER_04 1:25

You were in. And um so 16 years from your age, how my word.

SPEAKER_01 1:32

So 2010, I would have been in high school. I would have been a sophomore.

SPEAKER_04 1:35

Okay. So you were in high school.

SPEAKER_01 1:38

Wow. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:39

Erica, she was in middle school.

SPEAKER_01 1:41

Yes, she would have been in middle school. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:44

So we've known these guys a long time. Yeah. And they're precious to us for sure.

SPEAKER_01 1:48

Oh. And uh, they just both have such a wonderful testimony, such a strong testimony. They love the Lord. They're so passionate about the church and missions, and they are some of the most generous people I know. In fact, they're so generous, they felt the call several years ago. Those of you that are involved with College and Young Adult Ministry, you know them very well. They were so faithful and just poured out so much into this ministry. And um, God's just been redirecting their steps and their lives, and they are listening to the Holy Spirit and leading where he calls. And I'm just so thankful for this opportunity. Um, also, what's a really cool fun fact about Papa Chuck is he has been a manager for quite a long time. And if those of you that drive by the Biscaville here locally, right by the church off of Eastchester, you'll know him there. He's the general manager at Biscaville. And he's got a lot of great um experience in leadership. Uh, he's just a natural leader. He's a wonderful leader. And I just knew for this topic, he would be such a great person to talk about leadership. Can you, Chuck, tell everyone a little bit about yourself? Maybe some fun facts people don't know.

SPEAKER_04 3:00

Oh, wow, fun facts. A lot of people see me um as a jokester, but really I'm a very serious person when it comes to certain things, and and that's you know, being a leader. I like to make it fun, but at the same time, I'm real serious about the outcomes and different things like that. So, you know, my nickname with my family is uh Charlie Cheese. And uh a lot of people don't know that and got that name because when I was a little boy, uh one of my aunts came up to me and I asked her one day, I said, How did I get that name?

SPEAKER_03 3:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 3:39

You were in the refrigerator grabbing cheese when you were a little boy, when you could start walking and you were grabbing this cheese all the time. So I just gave you the nickname Charlie Cheese.

SPEAKER_01 3:50

Charlie Cheese.

SPEAKER_04 3:51

I was like, oh great. So when I hear that name, I know it's a family member because that name. Well, I'll probably now, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:00

Now we released it.

SPEAKER_04 4:02

I'm sure now that uh uh come about somewhere in some of these guys uh as I see them through Charlie things.

SPEAKER_01 4:09

So that is so cool. Charlie Cheese, I love that. And um what we love most about Papa Chuck is his wonderful testimony. He loves the Lord. Papa Chuck, can you tell everyone? We like to start off by asking this to our guests how you came to know the Lord personally.

SPEAKER_04 4:25

Wow, um, probably one of the most interesting things, probably to me, uh, to ever happen. I I wasn't the uh best of guy all my life, and um I was in the things that was hindering me from uh a good life. Um I would say I was an alcoholic. Um I gambled, uh lost everything that I owned, um lost my family and boys uh through uh separation, and uh one day just in a drunken state though, I was in my home by myself, nobody there, and um I just knew there was something more to life than what was happening, and I was like, you know, there's gotta be more to life. So in a drunken state, I fell to my knees, um, crying out to God, and I asked him what he saved me, and I know he met me where I was.

SPEAKER_02 5:28

Right.

SPEAKER_04 5:28

Uh no judgment. Um he came into my heart in life at that time. Um I cried myself to sleep like a baby all night. I woke up and uh everything was just so different. And I was like, why are things so different today? You know, I knew what I did, but you know, I went outside on the deck, I could actually hear birds chirping, and I hadn't heard birds chirp in so long, and and a lot of it's because the noise in my ear and the business of the whirl. Yeah, and uh I actually heard the birds chirping, and I had this peace that was over me. I was like, wow. So I knew um, you know, God had entered my life and um taking residence in me. Uh and it was just a now matter of time of uh you know me being obedient and trying to figure out um you know what this is supposed to look like and what it was all about. Because I'm gonna go ahead and tell you. I didn't know much about God and uh his ways and things. So uh I was on my journey now to kind of seek the Lord and uh learn what that was all about.

SPEAKER_01 6:34

Right. Oh my word, praise the Lord. That is um, and I tell you what, he had a radical transformation. I know your wife um has said that too. So we're so excited to talk about leadership. And um, you know, I think this is such a good important topic for young adults because I think a lot of them don't see themselves as being leaders or they might not even think about that concept. But we've said that you're a leader no matter what. Um, you're becoming a leader. Um, even if you don't feel like a leader, I think it's really important that verse in 1 Timothy 412, where um it says, don't let anyone look down on you because you're young, but set an example for other believers in speech, in life. I think it's in conduct, faith, and purity. Um, and so you are a leader and you're we want you to become a great leader. So, Papa Chuck, does someone need a title to lead?

SPEAKER_04 7:26

Um, I'm I'm gonna use my story through a lot of this because, like I said, I've been in leadership since I was um 18 years old. So um over the years, um, I've kind of learned things and uh uh implemented certain things that help. In the beginning, yes, uh that title was very important to me. Um it gave me the confidence um to lead others where I wasn't real confident with it. Um and you know, it just gave me something to hide behind at times.

SPEAKER_03 8:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 8:04

You know, it's like, okay, when things get going tough, it was like, all right, well, I'm the manager here, so I know I had a leg to stand on. So when I was trying to get things accomplished, you know, it kind of helped me to hide behind that. But as time went, um I started just learning what leadership was all about. And I realized that, you know, leadership now was all about to me, this is my what I think is um enhancing lives by serving others.

SPEAKER_00 8:34

Amen.

SPEAKER_04 8:35

And um when we can do that by, you know, coming alongside of people and enhancing their lives, you know, in different ways, um, I just think that's that's real, real important. And um, but but in the beginning, yes, I needed that because I was young and uh, you know, needed something to kind of go with me to kind of let me know who I was, but as time went, all that went away. It became about my vision at that point in time. Uh long as uh you know I had vision, I didn't need a name. It wasn't about a title, right? Uh wasn't about status or anything like that. It was about how am I leading the people that I'm leading?

SPEAKER_01 9:17

Amen.

SPEAKER_04 9:18

It became more about that.

SPEAKER_01 9:20

Right, definitely. I would say, like, for me, um uh the call really came from other people and I didn't see it in myself. I actually was in high school when I think it was the sophomore, when um my teachers uh had nominated me for like a leadership retreat, and it was just for high school kids. You might have heard of Hobie. Um, and I went to that at NC State, and I the irony is I didn't see myself in that role. And it was my teachers that nominated me. And then later on in high school, I it was my art teacher that came up to me, and I'm not artistic, but my art teacher came up to me, loved her, and she's like, Elizabeth, here's this form, fill it out. We need some people on the leadership team. And I was like, what? And um, and she literally was like, I was like, no, I don't, I don't see myself. And that she's like, no, do it. And so I did it. And even back then, the Lord was developing those leadership skills in me. And now in my current role as a nurse practitioner, I use those skills, but it was because other people who were leaders saw that in me and poured into me. And I know you do that as a leader too, Papa Chuck. Like you point out like young leaders and you speak those words of life to them. And my next question is how can someone know if they are called to leadership, even if they don't feel like it?

SPEAKER_04 10:41

Well, just like you were just saying, um, I don't think we're called to leadership. I think we're chose, and a lot of times I think that's by when we're saying at entry level at whatever we're doing, and however we're leading ourselves in that entry level, um, you know, before you can lead others, you have to definitely know how to lead yourselves because if you're not leading yourself well, nobody will really never take you serious to where you know you can lead them. So um a lot of that starts with um how you're leading yourself. But I don't think we're called, I think we're chose by our behaviors and the things that we're doing. Um, and also when nobody's watching, what are you doing and different things like that? Um, but but just you know, being called, I I think it's a choosing, though. And I think that you chose by, like you said, you know, what what you're putting into it.

SPEAKER_01 11:42

So right. And I think of people in the Bible that God chose that were great leaders like King David, like the humility and the integrity, like you said, absolutely. Um, just starting off when he was a little shepherd boy, like he was had full, he was full of integrity, um, you know, obedient to the Lord. God blesses obedience, and then God chose him to be king. So I think all that you just said was wonderful. And um, what does God, uh, Papa Chuck specifically say about leadership and influence, like in the Bible? What does the Bible say about that?

SPEAKER_04 12:14

Well, I think once we all give our life to Christ, I I think we all have some role in leadership and influence. Because, you know, like in Revelation, it says we're called to go to the end of the earth and sharing.

SPEAKER_03 12:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 12:29

So um we're all are called to some some point of like uh leadership. Um so what we have to do at that point in time is is kind of know, okay, we're called to this, you know, and and God will use you more when you know his ways. Yes, yeah. Uh have an understanding uh of him and and what he's trying to do, and when you surrender to life fully. Um when you're under full surrenderance and you know, at a hundred percent your yes is a yes, yeah, that's when God will use you in in those roles to influence others. Um you know, because at the end of the day, you know, we have to be like Jesus who came and served us, and and he was the best example of influence for us.

SPEAKER_00 13:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 13:26

And um, you know, we're called to do the same thing. So um I just I just think that's important, you know, that we understand and and know that that you know we have to be uh fully surrendered, so God will so we take away our thoughts and things and what we want to add to whatever, right, you know, so that we lead well.

SPEAKER_01 13:45

So yes, amen. The you said it excellent. The best example of leadership is Jesus, he was the best example of that. And my next question is how can someone be a better leader or become a better leader when they feel very inexperienced?

SPEAKER_04 14:02

I can tell you. Um starting out at 18 definitely was an experience. And uh a lot of my um experience came through tons and tons and tons of mistakes.

SPEAKER_03 14:16

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 14:17

I think mistakes are uh time of opportunity for you to grow.

SPEAKER_03 14:23

Right.

SPEAKER_04 14:24

A lot of people, and I was beating myself up then too, and I was making these mistakes, I was like, oh, again, again, you know. I'm just one of those people who don't like making mistakes. But now, you know, me looking back through all the mistakes that I made, um sharpened me to be a better leader. Um you make the mistakes, and you know, once you've made those mistakes, you know, you have to put some thought into it, dude. At the end of the day, you gotta reflect on your day, the mistakes that you made, ask yourself what can I do next time to um get through this a lot easier and better. So next time when they come about, which it will come again, yeah. What happens now is you make good choices in that time now. The people that you're leading see that as well. Because they see it coming, they're like, oh boy, we're back here. But now you make a better choice. Things move smoothly through it, and now they're gaining confidence. Yes. They gain confidence in you. You can move mountains uh once they bought into that. And another thing, too, I do is uh I surround myself with people uh are better than me in certain areas because I know where I'm weak. Right. Um we share that in class a lot. Yeah. I let y'all know mama see is the ticket. And uh I'm just gonna throw a lot of wisdom out there on you guys because God has given me a lot of wisdom through my testimony. Oh, yeah, yeah. And uh, you know, through all of my mistakes in life. But uh, you know, I surround myself with uh people that help me be successful because you're only gonna be successful as the people that are around you.

SPEAKER_01 16:05

Yes. Oh my gosh, that makes me think of the verse like iron sharpens iron. And you I always think of the same exact thing, like having a mentor who, like if you're in your job and you know someone's like way more experienced than you, or like a manager. I remember as a young nurse, I had a great nurse that literally became my mentor, several of them that became my mentors that were way more experienced than me. And there are times where you will make a mistake, just like you mentioned. And I remember, you know, we're all human, we're gonna make mistakes, but the best thing is to learn from them and not to do it again. And uh, and it grows you. It really, those tough things in life really grow you as a leader. And watching how like people that you admire, like mentors or leaders that you admire, like kind of following and imitating them and like picking their brain, I think is huge. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 16:53

I agree. Totally.

SPEAKER_01 16:55

Yeah, definitely. And what are the marks or habits, Papa Chuck, of a very strong leader?

SPEAKER_04 17:02

Oh wow. Me personally, I think communication is key.

SPEAKER_02 17:08

Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_04 17:10

When you communicate with clarity, um I think that's very, very important. Um, because if you can't communicate the vision and mission uh clear to people, um they're not gonna have a clear understanding and they're not gonna really see what your vision is.

SPEAKER_02 17:29

Yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 17:30

So communication I think is huge. Um I think a good leader needs to have integrity. Oh, definitely. Without integrity, it's hard to lead others because they'll never gain the respect they need to have for you.

SPEAKER_02 17:44

Yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 17:45

Um and and not only that, just you know, integrity in yourself help you to lead yourself better.

SPEAKER_02 17:51

Right.

SPEAKER_04 17:51

And when you can lead yourself better, you can lead others better. Yeah. Um I think you have to be uh lead by example. I think that's important. Um the more your hands-on you are, uh they buy into you know what you're trying to accomplish. And uh they see that it's not just you know your barking commands and different things like that. So uh I think you need to be honest, um, you need to be someone that they can trust and know is honest, yeah. Um, you know, because they may have things they want to share with you. Um and if they feel they can share those things with you, it helps them to now, you know, work under you in a better way. Um, you need to be a great listener.

SPEAKER_02 18:37

Yes. Oh, that's huge.

SPEAKER_04 18:39

If you can't listen to what's being said, then it's hard for you to manage situations.

SPEAKER_05 18:46

Yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 18:47

Only thing you're putting in on it is what's in your head. You're not listening to others. Right. And they may have something good to say that be like, wow, you know what, let's try that. And I try to find a way to listen to others to where I can implement something they're saying. Right. So that it's like they're feeling like they're part of what this whole mission's all about.

SPEAKER_02 19:09

Yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 19:10

And you know, and as they see that happening, they're like, wow, okay, he's allowing us to be part of this as well. So I make it now all about them in the mission I remove myself and I'm just looking at the end result. Um, did we meet our goal or our vision or what we were set out to do? And whoever I have to, you know, give all the praise to in that, I do that because that keeps them um checked in with you to where, you know, uh praise go along with.

SPEAKER_01 19:44

Oh my word, that's so huge.

SPEAKER_04 19:46

You're praising them, you know, and they're like, Wow, okay, well, I'm getting some praise, you know. Yeah. And uh it helps you too when you have to um, you know, be a little more difficult with them because now they use that as a coaching moment, you know. You praise them, but then a time come up where you can now um have to sit and coach them and may coach them a little hard, they're okay with that because you know they've seen how you know you've been through the whole process and they're like, Well, he's doing this to better me.

SPEAKER_02 20:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 20:16

And I think that's important for them to know that you're there for them. Right. Um, not just you know, the result of it.

SPEAKER_01 20:22

Yes. I think they the the people that you lead, they watch you super closely. Yes, they watch if you're intentional. Like, you know, one thing I was writing down, like you you just brought so much truth to that. It was just making me think of other things. Like, you know, you have those leaders that they're just want to do what, you know, their their task is, which is great. But I think your strongest leaders are your transformational leaders, and those are your leaders that are intentional about getting to know the people besides, oh, this is Susie. She works at the front desk, she helps with her check-ins, you know, yada, yada, yada. But no, I'm gonna go talk to Susie for a little bit. You know, what's going on in her life? Like, what is something I could pray for her over? You know, what is she struggling with? You know, what is something that's good going on in her life? I think when you spend those moments and you're intentional and it does take time to get to know people, but when you do that, they notice a difference. And one thing I want to uplift you and Mama Carrie is when we were in your 11 a.m. class, I watched every Sunday, they would go around and talk with everyone in the class. And that just like has impacted me so much, even in my leadership skills. Like that impacts when I go to work, I make sure I'm like checking in with everyone. How's everyone doing? And you're right, praise is a huge thing. Like when you say those words of encouragement, I don't care who that person is or what they believe or what they're going through. That might be the bright light in their day to hear those words of encouragement. It goes such a long way. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 21:57

Because you you don't know what someone's Going through, you know, when they arrive on the job or what you have no idea. And uh, like you say, if you can give them a word of encouragement, uh, like I said, that can go a long way. And like what our guests do, they come in and you know, they're feeling some kind of way, but about time you're done with that, hey, good morning, and yeah, that bright smile and whatnot. And they sit there and leave and go, Thank you. I needed that today. Yes. And it's like, wow, I had no idea. I was just being me and being kind, and wow, I'm thankful that just who God created me to be was able to put you in a whole different place right now.

SPEAKER_01 22:40

Oh, yeah, that is so cool. I I never even thought about like that. Like you are waking up really early in the morning to go work at Biscaville. And um, I think is Biscaville just located in North Carolina or it's in other states, yeah, I believe.

SPEAKER_04 22:53

Yeah, in South Carolina now. Okay. We're also in Virginia.

SPEAKER_01 22:57

Oh, yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 22:58

And we're we're steady growing. Um we're gonna go down to the coast soon. Oh we'll be down there in the Southport area. Yes. I'm thinking of maybe taking that location because uh but uh but we're growing right now. Oh wow, we're we're up to like 90 some odd stores.

SPEAKER_00 23:19

Oh man.

SPEAKER_04 23:20

When I started, we had 38. Wow in 2002. So we're growing. Um they've got a good thing going, and I'm just glad to be a part of something that's you know very exciting in the community. Everybody talks about Biscuitville and loves in Biscuitville. So um I just enjoy the fact that I get to be a part of that whole thing.

SPEAKER_01 23:44

So oh, I love Biscuitville, and I'm not just saying this, it is my favorite place to go get a biscuit. No one else does it like it. Speaking of biscuits, he has won. And correct me if I'm wrong, Papa Chuck. I I want to say this to brag about you. He won't brag about himself, so I'm gonna brag for him. He's won Best Biscuit Maker with for the contest 16 years in a row.

SPEAKER_04 24:08

That's for the district, for the district.

SPEAKER_01 24:10

Wow.

SPEAKER_04 24:11

And then I won eight of those years company.

SPEAKER_01 24:16

Oh my word. That is so phenomenal. Yeah, so that's awesome.

SPEAKER_04 24:21

Well, I'm one of those people that you already know me. I have a passion for if whatever I'm doing, I have a passion for whatever I'm doing. And I think that's important in leadership as well. Not only in leadership, but in our lives. Uh having a passion for what you do goes a long way.

SPEAKER_03 24:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 24:39

Um, I I have a passion um in my marriage, I have a passion with my kids, I have a passion with these guys. Uh, they got to see firsthand. Uh they're still my passion. And um, I I have a passion to serve the Lord. I I love where he brought me from and where I am today. It's like only God. Yeah. Only God could have brought me from there to here. I know I couldn't have done it because it didn't happen with me. But when I called on him to save me, that's when those things happen. So God is good.

SPEAKER_00 25:14

Oh, amen.

SPEAKER_04 25:15

You know, so I rely on him uh with every step uh of well, of my life in a way, because I know who I am apart from God.

SPEAKER_01 25:24

Exactly, exactly. And it's so good that God, um, when you obey him and you serve him, he will, you know, give you when you delight in him, though Psalm says when you delight in him, he'll give you the desires of your heart. He'll fill those. So I just think of how he's wired you. Like you are a morning person and you are there to uplift people in the morning. Um, and they need that in the morning because sometimes for some people, mornings might be rough. You think about like the people that walk in and they don't verbalize it, but maybe they're going to a really tough doctor's appointment, uh, or maybe they just maybe received a really tough diagnosis, or maybe their marriage is not going well. Or, you know, I just think of all these different like scenarios or cases, like and and that could be in your job too. Like you don't know what people that you're working with are going through. So you are there as an example and a light, and that's where leadership comes into play. Of even if you don't have a title of being a quote manager or leader or anything like that, like you still are leading by how you live your life for the Lord. So how does someone lead when they don't feel confident?

SPEAKER_04 26:35

Well, this one uh I couldn't even get around it. I I would just say, you know, when you don't have the confidence, I would say it's not time.

SPEAKER_03 26:44

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 26:46

Don't really embrace that until you're ready and have the confidence because the key thing, you know, uh leadership and no confidence, though those two don't go together. Right, right. If you're a leader, you you definitely gotta have confidence. But I would just say take the time and uh gain the confidence, learn, uh, watch others, and um and just have somebody maybe come alongside you and mentor you and just get you to where you you you have a better understanding and have confidence. But but if you don't have the confidence, I I would because if you don't have the confidence, the people that you're leading are gonna lead people who don't have confidence in.

SPEAKER_02 27:33

Right.

SPEAKER_04 27:33

You lose them right off the gate.

SPEAKER_02 27:35

Exactly.

SPEAKER_04 27:36

Right out the gate. Yeah, you done lost them. And they're like, what are we doing here?

SPEAKER_02 27:40

Right.

SPEAKER_04 27:41

Um, I I I don't know if that's how you was really asking that, but when I saw that, you know, not having confidence, I was like, eh, can't really do that.

SPEAKER_01 27:50

No, that that's good. That is really good. I think what you mentioned is so true too. Like going to your mentor and verbalizing those feelings of how you're feeling like you are not feeling confident. Um, there's lots of skills and resources, like there's even leadership conferences that that people can go to where you learn the skills to gain that. And definitely I think that you're right, Papa Chuck. That definitely comes, I think, over time.

SPEAKER_04 28:14

Um say over time for sure, but um, you know, there's ways to to build those confidence too, though. It's you know, um working hard, paying attention. Um, I learned from vision just from watching. Oh, yeah. A lot of people like learn through books and different things. Uh-huh. Not me. I can go into who I am. I'm I'm someone who can watch others, and I put my eyes on who's doing it well. I don't choose somebody mediocre. Um, like when I was trying to figure out how to be a husband with my wife Carrie, um, didn't know what that was about. Uh I was about to embark on that though, because I knew God had brought her to me. Right. Um, and he confirmed that this would be my wife. Yeah. Uh I'm so thankful. Oh. And um, but I didn't know what being a husband was about. So there's a few guys here in the church that I saw their marriages, and I saw them, you know, very attractive marriages where I'm like, you can tell God's in the center of them. Yeah. I was just like, you know, it was just attractive. So I was like, you know what? I'm gonna watch these guys for a while. Start talking to them. I watched these guys and just through them doing what they do every day, and when nobody was watching, taught me how to be uh husband to my wife. Oh and you know, she says I do a pretty good job.

SPEAKER_01 29:46

Oh, yeah, you do.

SPEAKER_04 29:47

But I'm not gonna, you know, I I leave for that her to say that you know, I just I learned all that, you know, by watching and uh how to carry myself, um, how to respond to her. Um and then it was important that when others saw our marriage, that they saw Christ in the center of our marriage.

SPEAKER_00 30:07

Amen. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 30:08

And and I'm gonna tell you now, I don't care what comes our way, we can't be shaken. Yeah, I know that without a shadow of a doubt.

SPEAKER_05 30:15

Right.

SPEAKER_04 30:15

I'm our spiritual leader, and I lead as well. And then shaken is not part of it. Exactly. God will see us through all of that. Yes. If you can shake God, you can shake us. You can't shake God, we ain't worried about that.

SPEAKER_01 30:29

So right. And that's such a great point. Like, even you think of men when they are leading, like if they're single or married, you know, when when you do get married, like you are the spiritual leader. God wants the man to be the spiritual leader of the family, the couple, and and it starts when you're young, it starts even before you're married. So um, that was so great what you said.

SPEAKER_04 30:54

Well, I know we kind of went off, but I I don't know, but I just was been led to say that. Yeah, that's so true. And and you know, I'm a mentor of a lot of guys. Yeah, that's a lot of our conversations is about um those things because it's near and dear to my heart. They may not be married and a lot of them aren't because they're you know in a group, but right, right. But, you know, a lot of times we're out and we're having conversations. I make sure that I bring that up. Good, good, yeah. You know, if they ever decide that they're gonna marry and God brings them their bride, that they are ready to be a spiritual leader. Right, because that's so important. Yeah, so so important that they lead and lead well.

SPEAKER_01 31:43

Yeah, and it's it's a struggle when if it's a couple that's unequally yoked and the man's not leading, uh yeah, that can be very, very difficult. So yeah, this conversation has just been a blast. And the next question is so the two of us both work in environments where it's not a Christian environment, it's not like a church or a ministry or something like that. So, how can someone influence people who don't share their faith?

SPEAKER_04 32:10

I usually typically try to influence them by sharing my faith 24-7.

SPEAKER_03 32:16

Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_04 32:18

Um constantly, um, when the door is open, I step through that door. I'm constantly talking about Christ, sharing my faith. Right. I can't shut up from where God's brought me from. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_03 32:30

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 32:32

I can't shut up and I won't shut up. Good, yeah. I'm just, you know, you know, God is good. And and and who I am as a person now, I really feel like this is well, I know, ain't no fail. I know this is who he created me to be.

SPEAKER_02 32:47

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 32:47

That other person was a person of destruction, um, my own thoughts and things, and all was wicked, uh, and nothing was settling or never good, you know. But God came in and he filled what I was looking for. Right there's a void.

SPEAKER_00 33:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 33:03

He filled that void. Yeah. And I was like, wow, I should have done this a long time ago. Um, but I think, you know, by like you say, sharing your faith, what letting people watch you actually do that. Yeah, and when when they're not sharing their faith, if they are believers, I think uh a lot of times that gives us the opportunity to disciple somebody.

SPEAKER_00 33:27

Amen.

SPEAKER_04 33:28

Yeah, they're not sharing, it's like, wow, that's a discipling moment that I can do. Maybe they need discipling songs. That's right. Come alongside them, you know, to kind of help them with sharing in other aspects of their lives. You know, and then also through mentoring. Yeah. I I think that's important. That's one of my things that I enjoy the most um is mentoring the other guys. And uh just because I just like sharing, you know, the goodness of God. Right. I guess I can't set up. You know, I'm always wanting to share. So I would just, you know, say, you know, let them see you doing it.

SPEAKER_02 34:09

Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_04 34:10

Pull them aside, you know, maybe try to disciple them. Yeah. Um, if that's not a fit, you know, do it through mentoring. Sometimes people like mentoring over the discipling piece, but yeah, you can do them both in one and they won't even know that's happening.

SPEAKER_01 34:26

Oh, yeah. And I think for me too, like you have those different people in different like areas of your life. Like I've got people that I've known like or family friends, or I have people at work, I have people like neighbors or things like that. And when you do life with them and they get to know you, and just like you said, they know they they get to know what you're passionate about. And I think for us as believers, when they know, wow, they're so passionate about Jesus Christ, like it just naturally, when you love Jesus Christ above all else and he's your number one, it just naturally comes out. Like it just flows out, you know. What does servant leadership actually look like in real life?

SPEAKER_04 35:06

Um, Jesus, really. So, I mean, yeah. We understand him and his ways. Um, I I would say um the fruit of the spirit is is definitely um that, you know, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control, uh, just being more like Jesus. So, you know, my one of my favorites in that whole thing is joy, you know, the joy that he brings to me, no matter what I'm up against. You know, Carrie and I, we lost our son back in 2017.

SPEAKER_05 35:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 35:46

And, you know, we had to kind of figure out what that was kind of all about. And it's like, whoa, you know, so we chose to choose a word that, you know, to help us through it. And we chose joy.

SPEAKER_02 35:59

Right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 36:00

Not joy that this happened, but joy in the Lord.

SPEAKER_02 36:03

Exactly.

SPEAKER_04 36:03

And and knowing that God is gonna see us through this. Yes. If we allow him to, we have to allow him to, though. We have to stay out of his way. We can't put our spin on it and feel sorry for ourselves and different things like that. So uh we we chose joy in that. Joy is one of my favorite ones. Um peace. Um I I have a peace that I'm telling you, man, is I never felt peace until I received Christ. And I finally got to understand what peace was all about. I thought peace was just quiet.

SPEAKER_03 36:38

Wow.

SPEAKER_04 36:39

Now I I get to understand that and self-control. Um by accepting Lords, my Lord and Savior, it's definitely brought me uh a lot of self-control, which I definitely needed. All of that. So, you know, those are three areas though, fruit of the spirit that um, you know, resonate well with me. So oh, that's so good. Just gotta have the kingdom perspective on everything. Yeah, and it helps you through the toughest times you'll ever, ever, ever experience.

SPEAKER_00 37:10

Amen.

SPEAKER_04 37:11

If you're not kingdom-minded and thinking uh what the kingdom things will rip you apart. Amen.

SPEAKER_01 37:18

I will rip you apart. So definitely. I think you narrowed it down to one thing. Like I would say that top thing is being kingdom-minded. Yes. I totally agree with that, yes. And what advice do you have for handling conflict or difficult people as a leader? That can be tough.

SPEAKER_04 37:35

Wow, in in those situations, what what I try to do for starters is to build a culture that uh everybody knows that that's not part of our culture. Exactly. Conflicts and different bad behaviors and things is just not allowed. Um, you know, so that you know, we can all get along well and enjoy our time together, however long that's gonna be for that day. Um, and when I see someone come in, I already see that they've got something on their mind. Yeah. Um, heart is heavy or whatever the case may be. So I kind of meet them at the door and just say, Hey, are you all right today?

SPEAKER_00 38:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 38:18

And, you know, are you going through something? There's something you want to talk about.

SPEAKER_00 38:21

Right.

SPEAKER_04 38:22

You need to take the day off. And and just with me caring, a lot of times they say, No, I'm gonna be okay to stay. But when they see the fact that I saw that and I'm caring for them in that, uh-huh, it changes their day.

SPEAKER_01 38:34

Yes. Oh my gosh, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 38:36

It it really does. Whatever they're going through, it's like, wow, I mean, he's he's cares about me in this moment where I'm at, and you know, I'm gonna power through all of this, and I'm gonna put my best foot forward. And, you know, they end up doing a good job for them. Yeah. Just because you showed uh, you know, a little love and that you cared. And you know, if they needed a day off, you was willing to give it to them off.

SPEAKER_01 39:00

Yeah. And I think that's so huge. That's what separates being a good leader from, you know, maybe a weak leader, because a good leader's gonna know their people so well, they're intentional, they know their people so well that they know, ooh, like Susie's acting a little different. You know, I need to go check in on her, you know, because I always think, like, are you the type of leader that if someone disappeared and or like if they're going through something really hard, would you know? Are you that person that you know them so well that, you know, and I think it's good that when you check in with them, they're like, oh my gosh, they really care about me. Because I know I have had those people in my life that do that for me, and that just it's it makes such a big difference, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 39:42

It's important too to know each individual that's you know under your leadership.

SPEAKER_03 39:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 39:48

Um, because you have to coach them and lead all of them totally different.

SPEAKER_03 39:54

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 39:55

How I'm leading you, I have to lead Susie over here totally different. And when you get that piece down, that's when you've captured leadership, is knowing all of your people and how to lead each one individually to accomplish the common goal.

SPEAKER_01 40:14

Right. And it's a it takes time to to get to know each person individually, too. It's it's not like a oh, hey, how are you, Susie? You know, sort of thing. It's really taking the time to talk to Susie and get to know Susie.

SPEAKER_04 40:28

Um and being intentional. Exactly. Very intentional. So and like you said, and the whole process in that, they see that you care. And like you said, you can move mountains at that point in time. So they believe in you, and uh, they're gonna show up and they're gonna give you all they got uh at the end of the day, especially when you're throwing the praise in there.

SPEAKER_01 40:47

Oh, yeah, that's so true, yeah. And so for young adults that are wanting to lead and are becoming leaders in our culture today that's very anti the Lord and just very toxic and it's very like self-driven, a lot of self-promotion. How can young adults lead well in this culture that pushes against their Christian beliefs?

SPEAKER_04 41:10

Um I would say, first of all, stay strong to your faith, because first of all, that's what they're trying to do is shake and rattle your faith on how you feel and think about you know uh your faith to start with. So I say just keep a strong faith, um stay true to God's word. Oh, yeah, staying true to it, but knowing it as well. So I think you need to get into his word, you need to study it, you need to um live it. Right. Um, I think you need to get with other believers. I think you guys need to have fellowship and uh spend time together, uh throwing things around, um, talking about certain things and holding each other accountable. I think the accountability piece is huge. I think accountability my wife, ooh Lord, she's hold I don't want to talk about talking about accountability, uh let me step anywhere off the the right path and uh I get right back on real quick. And that's why I thank God for it too. Yeah, yeah. Being the only person that he's placed in my life that's kept me grounded in a way that's pleasing to God. Yes, and that's I love it, and that's why I love her so it's just like, man, God, thank you, thank you, thank you.

SPEAKER_01 42:28

That's you know yeah, and that's a good, like that's a great healthy marriage because there is accountability in marriage, you know, marriage is a whole different like topic, but like going to that person in love, speaking truth and love is huge, but also accountability in the workplace, like it's huge. I think we should all as leaders be open to constructive criticism and find those ways to get better and stronger. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_04 42:53

You know, and also with that, um I would just say, hey, live it out.

SPEAKER_03 42:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 42:59

Um you know, living living your faith out, living your walk out with Christ, uh, allowing people to see Christ in you. Um, I just think that's that's huge. Right. Um, because at some point in time they may ask it, like, you know what, you're different. And you know, I know you're a believer, and no matter what comes your way, you don't waver, you stay the course, and that may strike up a conversation now. Ooh, yeah. The door opens up, and that gives you that opportunity now to share with somebody, and I think that's huge. When you're living it out and they get curious about why you're so different, dude, that door is wide open. Jump through that thing with the man cape on, and just go, you know. So I just think that's huge and big.

SPEAKER_01 43:45

Yeah, that's so good. That's great truth there. And my last question, Papa Chuck. We ask this to all our guests. Do you have any final thoughts, encouragement, or words of wisdom for young adults who are watching or listening to this right now?

SPEAKER_04 44:01

Well, uh, if leadership is is something that you're thinking about, I think it's uh important though that you sit down with someone that you've discovered that is a uh great leader, uh pick their brains, um ask them questions about yourself, you know, like you know, especially if they know you, say, Well, I know you know me. What are areas that I can improve in? Yes, yes, just kind of you know, do a check and balance and um you know, just make sure that you're you're ready, and that's just something you want to do. Um I think leaders uh know when they're called to lead or chosen to lead, and uh those who are chosen they do well. But you know, if you're not really called to lead, just kind of know your role, know your place. Uh it may not be then, it may be down the road. Sometimes we jump the gun uh and wanting to lead um when we're not ready and prepared. Right. So not saying that you know that's not coming, you know, right may not be right now. God may have different plans for you right now, and he may want to grow you some, or he may want to grow you for a specific place to lead or something. So um, yeah, that's where I'm at with that.

SPEAKER_01 45:20

Ooh, that was good. And I definitely think that, you know, we think of leadership like I have to have a platform or I have to have like, you know, a title. And just like we said at the very beginning, like you're serving behind the scenes where you're not getting, quote, like attention. God can use you no matter what. Like you are leading, if you are faithfully like serving uh in housekeeping or whatever it is, like God will use you for that. So thank you, Papa Chuck.

SPEAKER_04 45:47

Well, hold on. I have a question for you. I uh I told Carrie I said I was gonna ask you.

SPEAKER_01 45:52

Oh she'll answer it.

SPEAKER_04 45:54

Uh so I was like, okay, cool. Yeah, you've known me for a very, very long time. Yes, you've seen me in various different leadership roles and capacity. Right. So when you see me, what do you see as a leader? Because I'm always in it, yeah, but don't know what people are seeing. So I trust you.

SPEAKER_03 46:21

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm ready for this.

SPEAKER_04 46:24

That because, you know, like you said, when you're in it, and you know, people say, Well, what do people see? I'm like, I I don't know what they're thinking and saying. I'm just uh in it and leading and guiding them. So, you know, because and if there's something I could do better, I want to hear that as well.

SPEAKER_01 46:41

Oh, oh my gosh. Well, take it away, take it away, take it away now. Oh, I'm ready. I got this, I got this. Okay, so there's so much. There's so much I love that you do, but I would say probably the top thing that I've seen over and over and over again, and I've seen it with our college and young adult ministry, and I mentioned this earlier, is intentionality. The checking in with people, the the thoughtfulness, the thoughtfulness is huge. I notice when even like when I'm in the lobby serving either at the info desk or at the coffee bar, like I will see Chuck making his rounds with people, you know. And it it is cool. Sometimes like God wires us differently. Like some people may be introverted, some people may be extroverted or a little bit of both. I'm a little bit of both. Um, but I just watch how you treat everyone. One time we were all out in public, not on church property, but we were out in the public, and we came across this very interesting person out at a restaurant. And this person was very nice, but very um unique, I guess is a good term to use. And yeah, and Papa Chuck was so good with this person. I think of the Good Samaritan, the parable of the Good Samaritan. The Good Samaritan went to that person and helped that person. I'm like, that is Papa Chuck. That is Mama Carrie right there. Um, like it doesn't matter who it is, Papa Chuck and Mama Carrie are so intentional, uh, love everyone the same, and just um so intentional is probably the best term I would use.

SPEAKER_04 48:24

That piece I never know. I just yeah, I just know who I am and what I do. So I try to do it to the best of my ability. Yeah. But I don't, I mean, I see the fruit and I see um, you know, the development of people, but it's like the thought. Like what are they really thinking, other than right, hey, this guy's helped me out.

SPEAKER_01 48:46

And I think the words of encouragement, we talked about this earlier, is so good. Like when you see something good in someone, say it. Just say it because it it just makes their day. So thank you, Papa Chuck, for joining us.

SPEAKER_05 48:56

You're welcome.

SPEAKER_01 48:57

Yes, and thank you all for joining us. And we can't wait for you to check out the next episode next month. We'll be talking about strongholds. Uh, can't wait to introduce you to this next guest. See you next time.

SPEAKER_04 49:10

Thank you.