Hot Sauce Myths, Scorpion Burns, and a Childhood Prank Gone Wrong

A childhood prank set the fuse: Davis admits to the Tabasco-on-the-lip stunt that ignited Petey Bird’s lifelong relationship with heat. From that confession we launch into a tasting that swings from jelly-smooth sweetness to relentless scorpion fire, with honest reactions, unexpected pairings, and the kind of laughter that only arrives when your tongue is begging for mercy.

We start with Marie Sharp’s sweet habanero—more pepper jelly than pourable sauce—and find its perfect role alongside cheese, smoked salmon, and Chinese takeout. Then the scale tips. Surrender Your Booty brings a carrot-forward ghost pepper blast that feels two levels hotter than expected and rewrites the flight midstream. Mr. Pain follows with a clean vinegar-and-habanero profile that camps out in the throat, offering a case study in how fewer ingredients can sharpen both flavor and fire. Finally, the Spicy Shark six-fin scorpion sauce lands with instant flavor and a climbing burn that just won’t quit, proving how different pepper families shape both taste and time-on-tongue.

Along the way we trade myths and fixes—why water spreads heat, how sugar and dairy actually help, and when a “mild” sauce becomes the hero of the night. We talk Vegas novelty bottles, ghost pepper nostalgia, and the difference between gag gifts and keepers you cook with. Expect real tasting notes, food ideas you can use today, and a few tears turned into jokes. If you love hot sauce culture, flavor-driven reviews, and chaotic camaraderie, you’ll feel right at home in our pod.

Want more heat, fewer regrets, and better pairings? Hit follow, share this with your spiciest friend, and drop your favorite ghost or scorpion sauce—we’ll feature your picks on a future tasting.

Transcript

Welcome, Nicknames, And The Tabasco Prank

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Welcome to episode status of the Spice Teen's podcast. We're in a pod. Yes, we are gonna all be in a pod like the movie Cocoon. We're gonna fly to another planet. Yes, with hot sauces. Because we love the spice. Fiends, man. And uh today we have a special guest. Specialist correct. Sorry, special guest. Yes, he he that he has spoken. He goes by the the name Davis, which we all call him. The name. And uh funny and uh funny story that I I was telling El Diablo in one of our first podcasts. Because episode one. Wait, your name is El Diablo? Yes. What's yours? Nice to meet you. Um I'm uh um different variations of Petey. Ooh. So Petey. Today I'm Petey Bird. Petey Byrne. Pete Bird. Pete Bird. Petey Burn or Petey Bird. Bird. Oh wow. Bird.

SPEAKER_03 1:18

Pray bird.

SPEAKER_02 1:19

Petey Bird. Flying away. Petey Bird. Uh anyway, so uh so we spoke of Davis because uh basically we uh uh El Diablo had uh had uh made you know asked me like what my first experience with uh with hot sauce was and stuff. And and I basically told the story. I told the story of uh me being, you know, a tween. It was like a therapy session. And uh we were having to sleep over, no drinking, because it was before we thought alcohol was a good idea. And um, the age you couldn't acquire. Yes, but there was a liquor cabinet that we did not take advantage of, which we could have. Uh I think we did we did take advantage of finding the the the um the adult porn no videotaped. I mean we're watching those.

SPEAKER_03 2:09

I remember kids will never know what we had to go through back then.

Why Do We Do Spicy Pranks

SPEAKER_02 2:14

Yeah. Yeah, we had to rewind and fast forward. Uh anyway, so um but yeah, so basically there is a you know, we went to bed. I woke up to a a very powerful feeling in my lip like somebody had punched me. And out of, I was just it was fucking crazy. Imagine being in the audience listening to this right now. They're like, what happened? But I did. Sounds terrible. So it turns out, which I'm not familiar with hot sauce, and I've kind of already told the story on episode one, but but uh uh after the episode, it kind of it was almost like a therapy session, so it all just came out, and I and I I I I had dinner with Davis and I was and and the motherfucker was like, Yeah, that he was there, and I was like, Who did that? He's like, Yeah, it was me. So what made you think that was a good idea to do that to 12-year-old Pete Bird?

SPEAKER_03 3:05

Petey bird. Because kids played pranks on each other and we thought it would be funny.

SPEAKER_02 3:10

Yeah, but what what like who taught you to to take Tabasco sauce and put it on someone's lip?

SPEAKER_03 3:16

I honestly just improved it. I was just like, oh, what before you put on his lips and it burns and he wakes up and is disgruntled with all of us.

SPEAKER_02 3:25

Yeah, I would much rather I wouldn't do that now.

SPEAKER_03 3:27

I do worse things now.

SPEAKER_02 3:29

I'd much rather have the whipped cream when you put it on the nose and just have the whipped cream back then. Oh, yeah. Instead of big sauce. It was BWC before whipped cream.

SPEAKER_03 3:40

You don't have a bottle of 1984. Do you have Tabasco here?

SPEAKER_02 3:45

Do you get triggered by it? No, yeah, I do. I actually don't like Tabasco.

SPEAKER_03 3:50

It's delicious.

Novelty Sauces, Vegas Memories, And Ghost Pepper Lore

Tasting 1: Sweet Habanero First Impressions

SPEAKER_02 3:51

I needed it in my Bloody Mary today because it wasn't the ratio to I was pouring like five. Always pick the ass. I'm still a Tabasco. I can't do salt. All right. So um so yeah, and and you ended up doing it to another friend. That's why you knew it was you. Oh, yeah. Our good friend took it. Johnny Yeah, dude. And he got me back really well. Yeah, dude, you should try. I I might, after all this, I I might go go run to the fridge and get the fireball hot sauce so you could try it. We'll have to have Johnny Yeah, dude on so because he's obsessed with fireball. Um I'd advise him to drink Jackfire because it's probably a little little less like gasoline or whatever the f they're putting it. Sugar. Sugar. Anyway. Chemicals and sugar. Yes. Yes. Anyway, to the sauces. Let's check out number one. Number one. So we're supposedly I'm mildest, but we'll find out. So we're yeah, we're definitely uh this way, not this way. Yeah, mildest down that way. And I'm fucking number one. Ooh. All right. So we got uh uh the famous Murray Sharp sweet habanero pepper sauce. And uh funny thing is I was talking to El Diablo about this yesterday, and this fucking shit just showed up in all my Facebook ads. And I was like, I never seen this advertised anywhere until I fucking said it out loud. So very sharp sweet habanero pepper sauce. It's gonna be good. Looks like a like, you know, oh well, we'll we'll talk about it after, but all right, what's the next? A lot of like it's almost like a like a collidist. What are those lamps? The lava lamp? That's fucking crazy. It's the lava lamp of heart, lava lamp. All right, now next we have Surrender Your Booty Ghost Pepper Sauce. So I have a story about this, and this is actually a very special episode for me. It's nothing to do with my booty. No. Um, but Pete, so there was a there was a dark time where where I actually was roommate with Davis, and I'd gone to Las Vegas, and they And he surrendered his booty. No, they had this dark times with Davis. They they first in my life I've ever seen a hot sauce store in Vegas, right outside of Bally's. They had this little like kind of mall thing. Um, and I didn't know what to buy, what to buy, but I saw this at the fucking pirate hut, and I was like, yes, I'm getting this. And uh it's ghost pepper, and I used to put it in tomato soup, chicken soup. I'd put it on everything. You remember it in your fridge, right? Yes. So did you ever use it? With you. Yeah, but I so you surrendered the booty with me. I did. So I I don't happens in Vegas. Probably should have left it in Vegas. But I I definitely I was like new to hot sauces and and and all that, and and uh and I I don't I don't remember if it was good. There's like what, like eight years ago, nine years ago? Before there was like cars hot sauce. Before there was all these hot sauce companies. There were like these more gimmicky ones. Well, you know, they had all these stores with the gimmicky stuff before that became like more like yeah, they had a Budweiser, like a Bud Heavy hot sauce, but it was like, yeah, they definitely it was like novelty hot sauce store. I'm sure, you know what? Maybe we just didn't know, but I'm there there could I'm sure there's been a network of hot sauces, boutique companies that were in there, we just didn't know. But we obviously being shitheads, we gravitated towards the ones and anal blast 3,000. Yeah, yeah. You know, you're like fuck, that's a good gift. Yeah. Exactly. It's changed since then. But yeah. Cool. All right. So um what's number three? What's number three? Mr. Payne, execute your dace buds hot sauce from Pepper Palace. Yes, and um this too, many years later, after uh surrender your booty. Um uh that booty. We we were doing uh little hot sauce competitions in our place of work. And uh actually what what spawned our our um six terrible six, not not the sauce, but we were just kind of bringing in stuff for people to try. It was almost like the first person that goes for water was was was was a loser, you know. Like you you have died in the Oregon Trail. Little that we knew is that water is not a good thing to save you from burning. It actually enhances the burning. Yeah. Which we learned. I don't know. I think I don't know. I don't know if I've ever felt that, but that's what I've seen and heard. I still do it, so yeah, yeah. Even though I know it doesn't help. You're just trying to wash the hate out of your teeth almost. So it's been many years since Mr. Payne. So I remember it was wicked fucking hot back then. And um probably still is. Yep. It might we might be conditioned for it. I mean, you taste the hot the sauces I have here and at El Diablo's house. So anyway, we'll see what Mr. Payne has in store for us. Damn you, Mr. Payne. Moving on to the spicy shark six fin series. Hamagata.

SPEAKER_01 9:19

Wait, what is it?

Tasting 2: Surrender Your Booty Hits Hard

SPEAKER_02 9:21

Is that the name of Hamagata? Oh, okay. Hamagata? Yeah, we're fucking. I was like, I'm gonna get hammered and we're gonna play guitar. Now I get it. I'm an idiot, and I'm like hamagata. Hamer. Um guitar. So the hammered shark, and he's I think he's doing some crazy shit, but this is their six Finn series, which means it's their top. Yeah, well, spicy shark. And they're a New England based company, which company they also run the New England Not Sauce Festival. And uh we it was funny, we actually got to talk to the owner for the first time at the at the New York Hot Sauce Festival. Because in New England, he's running the the he's running the show, so you can't even get a word in. Um, but we in New York he was working the booth and we chatted with him for a bunch. So what why what what's in there? Sorry, I'm just correcting how stupid I am. I said it wrong. Well, it's not hammer, guitar. I'm thinking guitar, it's hammer gata. Half hammer shark, half alligator, the hammer gata. No, look at the mythical creature of the six-fin series with the southern inspired bass, blah, blah. We'll talk about it more as we eat it. But yeah, I fucked up. I don't know. Cool. I'm like, huh. All right, so shall we spoon? We shall spoon with the skull spoon. Skull spoon.

SPEAKER_01 10:51

Well, I'm in the middle, so technically spoon.

SPEAKER_02 10:54

Take us a middle. There's no rules in the spoon. Shortest spoon has been drawn for you. Choose your weapon. If you overpull, it will drip. Ooh. If you overpull, you are it has a heart. It's got a heart up here. It's a heart. You know, but it's supposed to be a note. Oh, not like a skull, dude. Turn it upside down. Oh no, we know. Look at that genius 3,000 just. Everybody's got problems, right? That's why I'm in the middle. That's special. You're destined for love. Special. You look at skulls. You look at skulls and you see hearts. Yes. Davis and the heart.

SPEAKER_03 11:31

I like to see the good and everything, Pete. So Davis are.

SPEAKER_02 11:36

Are you having fun so far? When you sauce me up, I will have lots of fun. So I guess the vodka. No. The vodka doesn't count. Oh no. That's what we should do. We should cleanse our palates with a vodka. Oh no. Hold on. I think this is a. No. Hold on. Alright. It's definitely like a thicker. Yeah. Alright, I think we're good after this. You get this. Just don't get it. Come on. What are you doing later? Oh god. Oh god. Something's coming out. Oh, he said his ketchup instead. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_03 12:24

Oh my god. Jesus Christ. You're like fucking. Yeah. He's got dude. He's got an option. The table's not part of the tasting. We are.

SPEAKER_01 12:34

Damn, bro. I didn't know what we were gonna be doing.

SPEAKER_03 12:37

Dude. Check this out. You have to be diligent. Ooh, he's a master baiter. Oh, yeah. Yeah. He's a master.

Tasting 3: Mr. Pain Lives Up To The Name

SPEAKER_02 12:49

Dude, I did the work. I'm doing the work now. Oh god. I don't want anything to do with this sauce. Oh my god. Wait. Sweetened. It sounds like it's like gelatinous. It's very gelatinous sauce. Sweet habanerous sauce. That's what it looks like. What do they call it? Duck sauce? It looks like duck sauce.

SPEAKER_01 13:07

Sweet habanero pepper sauce is made from fresh habanero peppers and condoms.

SPEAKER_02 13:12

Uses a dip on crackers, gravity, cold beat, smoked salmon, journey's food. Was that a fucking auction? Yes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:20

500. I'll give you about three videos.

SPEAKER_02 13:26

I think Chinese food all the time. There you go. It's very gelatinous.

SPEAKER_01 13:30

Of course.

SPEAKER_02 13:35

Beatty. Tastes like candy. Like that jelly, you know. I would further this Chinese food. Yeah. It's definitely like a sweetened sour sauce almost. With habanero.

SPEAKER_03 13:51

That'd be good like on a charcuterie board with like cheese. Yeah. Yeah. That that mint, the pepper jelly you get on one. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. That would be very good.

SPEAKER_02 13:59

It's almost, yeah, it's almost like a jelly more than a hot sauce. Maybe, I don't know. I mean a preserve. This has been sitting in my uh repertoire, repertoire. For 20 years. Yeah. It's a sell bias this month. So I don't know. Maybe we're not giving Marie Sharp a chance. Maybe uh they need we need a fresher bottle. Hence the mess. It's good though. The table likes this. These sauces can go past it. Expiration date. So I definitely, I mean, Chinese food all the fucking way. I wish we I mean maybe we we'll bring it back and we'll do like a Chinese food day. We'll all get the best.

SPEAKER_03 14:39

We should go up for Chinese food and bring that with us.

SPEAKER_02 14:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 14:42

Yes. They can turn that on to the restaurants.

SPEAKER_02 14:45

Maybe they'll start selling it. And or not, probably not. Yes. All right. Careful. Are you ready for number two? I'm always ready for number two. It's time for the best. This will help you go number two. Yes. All right. Oh, yeah. Surrender the booty. This is very special to me. I have not tasted this since I lived with Rob.

SPEAKER_03 15:11

Yeah, because every time you open the door, that guy will go over to the side fall off all the time.

SPEAKER_02 15:17

Yeah. He's not yeah, yeah. He's not well balanced. Yes. Like for for well, for Rob's fridge. Oh, it's okay. It's got the little plastic thing. We like to remove these though. Well, it depends on the sauce.

Tasting 4: Scorpion Heat From Spicy Shark

SPEAKER_03 15:28

No, it's circumcised. Erethra.

SPEAKER_02 15:32

Hold on. I'm not going to shake it. I think this is, I remember it being a tablespoon too. Carrot based or something. Or yeah, carrot, salt. Um, garlic spices, and um obviously ghost pepper. Yep, it's carrot-based. Which is interesting.

unknown 15:58

All right.

SPEAKER_02 15:59

Thank you so much. There's no no overspray here. Yeah. It's like a bloody skull. How is this number two? There's number two. It's the booty Jordan. The boot cocky. Yes. Let's do this. Yes. Extremely hot. Not hard. Definitely hard to remember two. But it's good. Yes. That's hard. That's uh harder than I remembered. So is it gonna get worse? Yeah. I don't know. I feel like some of these could be on the same level. We don't know though. Yeah, that kind of fucking it's definitely harder. Unexpected. Wow. I'm ready to give up my booty. I feel like I need to have some of uh some of this to cool me off.

SPEAKER_01 17:05

When you got plenty on the table.

Panic, Chicken Rescues, And Heat Aftermath

SPEAKER_02 17:06

Yeah. Sweet. Definitely hot. Holy shit. I kind of sorry surrender your booty. Um I definitely underestimated you. Uh don't drink water. No. Yeah, no. Or do. I'm not gonna sweat. That's a like legit like blast of ghost pepper. Yeah. Not much neighbor, but it's it's fun, I guess. You taste the carrot? It tastes fire. It tastes booty. Like, I don't even know if I'm ready for it. Mr. Payne. Keep going. I feel like Mr. Payne already fucking showed up and he's like, he's fucking us over from he surrendered the booty. Mr. Payne! He's got a lot of things. What's in Mr. Payne again? What are the peppers? Habanero. Some other weird shit. Definitely, right? Little chunks. Yeah, it's just says vinegar, habanero, peppers, some weird word of some caps, some shit, salt, and that stuff. Gum shit. It's very simple. Yeah. I gotta say, out of, you know, this is we're on episode six, but uh by number two, I I definitely was not I'm hurting. That's not usually that's usually a number four. And I feel like it's gonna get worse. This could be less, though. It says half an air, so I don't know how we how he shark things. No, this is the execution, Mr. Payne guy. Well, this is Pepper Palace, so that can go either way. I'm just gonna go for it. Or just get my spoon ready for it. Unless you're not ready. Alright, Mr. Pain, this is this is um historic for me too. Mr. Payne. Fucking Mr. Payne. First time he gave a booty. The pain. Pain came. That's the history here. Yeah. It's not bad. Being asleep on the couch. Yeah. Getting woken up. Yes, I'm I my eyes are closed and much. It's not like a with tabasco. I just get bummed out because I feel like it's still love tobasco, I'm sorry. I just feel like it's the safe. I don't care about the gangers that need the new age stuff, but we need pepper sauce. Oh, let's get tobasco. So it's like it's almost like the number one stupid. But I did like that sauce that we had tried, the Tabasco Sriracha. Yeah, that was fucking amazing. Better than regular sriracha. It does definitely still burning. Mr. Payne is like inflicting pain in the back of my throat right now. That's what happens when surrender your booty and Mr. Payne combine. Yeah, they're not, they should not be friends.

SPEAKER_03 20:22

Yeah. Mr. Payne's good. The booty fucks my booty up. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:28

It's definitely up for you. Possibly tonight, possibly in the middle of the night. Oh, grease. I just don't know, like, um, you know, I don't know if I can make it to the fourth one.

SPEAKER_03 20:40

Yes, you can.

SPEAKER_02 20:41

So I feel like that one's gonna be fucked up.

SPEAKER_03 20:44

Let's do it.

SPEAKER_02 20:45

Sixth fins. If I wait, it's gonna be worse. We're going to the damageta. The messed up thing is we we uh we got we got the food to eat with the shit too.

SPEAKER_03 20:59

Well you gonna wait? No. Why? Oh god.

Laughs, Lessons, And Closing Chaos

SPEAKER_02 21:09

Wait a shit. I'm like, oh how's it smell? Oh, Jesus. Oh, like a faggin' ham edge. Yeah, I'm gonna get a dude. Dude, the flavor is fucking amazing. Even though our tongues are on fire, it's still instant flavor. Even after being burning. Yeah. Yeah. Holy shit.

SPEAKER_04 21:38

Hmm.

SPEAKER_02 21:42

Oh. That's a scorpion on this one. Damn. It tastes like pepper. Yeah, definitely. That's definitely scorpion, that's why. The scorpion has the instant scorpion. Yeah, scorpion's okay. I got you. Yeah. Nice water cow, silver banana, a little pine with juice, banana, tomato, blah. Keeps going and going and going. I'm like, oh my god, it keeps burning. That's that scorpion motherfucker that does that. Oh keeps salivating.

SPEAKER_01 22:15

Damn, I think we did three fours and three out of four were fours.

SPEAKER_02 22:20

Yep.

unknown 22:21

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 22:22

Bad planning. I feel like the only thing that's gonna cool my cool me is having more of this. Should we just jump into the food or just sit in the middle?

SPEAKER_01 22:32

I'm burned of hot tuna right now. Just keep salivating.

SPEAKER_02 22:36

Holy shit.

SPEAKER_01 22:41

Oh, you're crying? Yes. Holy shit. Fucking hot. Alright, easy with dip in the shit and shit, but I'm fucking hurting. Burning, bro.

SPEAKER_02 22:59

I don't even know if I can do the round.

SPEAKER_01 23:04

How is it? What are these? Just chicken cut out. Some chicken denders. Cut them up thinking we were gonna try every sauce with them, but we totally fucked up.

SPEAKER_02 23:27

That's so much for the fucking hottest popcorn in the world. They fucking wait for we had I had something on deck, but uh uh.

SPEAKER_03 23:46

Secreting fluid everywhere. My ears, my eyes, my nose.

SPEAKER_02 23:52

The mukbang part. My mouth. Yeah. We have now entered the mukbang part. The only thing that's gonna save me is Mary Sharp's sweet habit. Don't forget to give some to the table. Nope. Oh, here it comes. I got it. It's all on the wrist. Mary Sharp? Yes.

SPEAKER_01 24:17

I already did some.

SPEAKER_02 24:21

Oh thank God. Mary Sharp. Who would have thought that in desperate times that we'd be going to Mary Sharp's Swede Habanero. For for it's Marie, not Marie.

SPEAKER_03 24:41

I.e. That's even the best part. I can't read. You got the two guys over here that can't read. Marie talking shark. What? Shark. Sharp Gator.

SPEAKER_02 24:52

You can't read either. You said sharp. Sharp. But in fairness, it was not that. This point. Yeah, it was in Boston accident, and I still fucked it up. Spicy shark. Yeah. Shark and Sharp. Dude, that shit's like heaven right now. Yeah. I thought we should just take shots of it. Yeah. I'm already putting the surrender your booty on my wing. I'll surrender the wing too. Oop. There's a full wing there, Davis, if you want. I was wearing an. I'm just doing the talk quick so it ends. Just getting it over with. I can't believe it like I mean he can lick my tears and use that to cool off. Going back to my two. Alright, so now I'm I'm having flashbacks to when when I was Davis's loving roommate. Beautiful. And um I would use Surrender Your Booty, but I would only put a couple drops in my soup. And I know why. Yeah, now you know why. It looks so weird without his hat on. Any laps. Marie, Marie got fucking just got me with her. Like that, I think there was a hidden something happened everyone there. Just got me. I was looking for salvation from from the one in the era. Yeah, the sweet. Um now I'm just like, oh, something's wrong.

SPEAKER_03 26:21

Um you get Marie all over the fucking place, too. It's all over your eye. Oh yeah. Marie. He made Marie. He got Marie off. All right.

SPEAKER_02 26:36

Anyway, um this has been great. It's definitely the definitely fucked up. And um we definitely we were we weren't.

SPEAKER_01 26:47

Our scale was tipped.

SPEAKER_02 26:49

Yeah, we kind of misjudged. And obviously, I was thinking the past, and I was like, oh, those probably weren't as hot as I remembered. They are. Yeah. Samsonite. I was way off. Because I'm here, that's why Rob.

SPEAKER_03 27:01

I fuck everything up. Blame David. Very good at like messing up stuff and proof.

SPEAKER_02 27:06

Anyway, but um did you enjoy yourself during this thing? Would would you come back? Yeah. Well, just place chair. Awesome. Any any final words? Like Jack. I'll come back. I'm also burning, but so we're just gonna end this. Yeah, I think I like yeah, I like to leave in pain from pain. Anyway. Let's find out if we're still alive on episode seven. Yep. We're not thank you for listening. Spice Fiends Podcast. Thank you for watching. Episode I have to burp. Let's do it. Trying to do a burp six. I don't worry about it. I was trying to get a burp six.

SPEAKER_03 27:58

Not right now, but yes. No, I can't preep. I mean drinking. Then we can follow me burping. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:14

I think we keep trying to burp, we'll probably have thrown up all over ourselves.

SPEAKER_03 28:16

I wish we didn't fart like I did earlier today and killed you guys. You're too far away.

SPEAKER_02 28:21

Yeah, there's a you give that was that was like that was terrible. People call it a crop dust. But things you do is more like a hate dust. It's a hate crime. Yes. Anyway, thank you for listening. It's a fart crime. All right. To uh all the fart criminals out there. Bon appetite. To all the crop gods. I don't know what smelled worse. You're fucking your burp or your fucking hate. Everything's the anatomy is terrible. So much comparison today. Anyway. He's selling his burp and far though. If anyone's interested. Yeah, we're gonna put those on um on um Craigslist. Yeah. Yeah. Take care of me. Hello.