The one thing to leave at the door when you’re being interviewed for the media

There’s one thing that should always be left at the door when going for media interviews…

And those who do this are the ones who fly! 🔥

Take our Media Icon Archetype Quiz that shows you the media version of you 🤩

Shows you exactly how your energy lands best in the media and how to use that to your advantage.

Click here - https://dauntlesspr.com/dauntless-pr-personality-quiz

Transcript

Luana Ribeira 0:02

Welcome to Dauntless PR Unfiltered. Today we're gonna talk about one thing that everybody needs to leave out the door when they go for media interviews. So the people who get this will understand it on a deep level, and they are the ones who will fly in the media. Isn't that right, Catherine?

Catherine Ball 0:25

Absolutely. So what is this one thing you're probably thinking? So it's ego. And when we're saying ego, I just want to make absolutely clear we're not talking about confidence. Confidence is amazing. You want to make sure you've got that um wonderful confidence in yourself, what you're doing, your message, your story, and your expertise. You need that. So absolutely confidence and expertise in interviews. But what we are talking about is that kind of with ego, I guess it's the negative side of confidence sometimes. It's actually usually not to do with confidence at all, is it? Ego usually steps in from a level of uncertainty. So it's when people lack confidence that usually their ego kind of steps up and says, Oh, this isn't good enough for us. Over compromises, yeah. So that little the little voice in your head that's kind of wanting to keep you safe, but it's um often sort of saying quite negative things, that's the thing to you know, give that some colouring to do, send that, send it off to do something else while you take your confidence and your expertise, and you go in and you you absolutely shine in that interview.

Speaker 1:44

So the way that ego can show up a lot in interviews is that overcompensating. So wanting to, you'll see people sometimes having interviews, and they'll just want to talk about themselves, their achievements, all the amazing things that they've done, and they'll almost forget about their message. So the key thing for me is to remember, you know, that it's not about them. Like they need to remember it's not about them, it's about their message and their people. But a lot of them tend to want to over-control things. So their features come out and they they go into criticism, like they want to change things, they don't they don't like it. Like that, that's ego. That is very normal, by the way. But that is ego showing up, and also things like not wanting to be on certain podcasts or in certain publications, even though they're going to impact people with their message because they don't feel like um it often comes up as not feeling aligned, but a lot of the reason um, a lot of it is actually down to fear on a deep level. You know, it's like if I go into this publication, people might not agree with what I'm saying, I might get backlash, these these things might happen. So the key really is to put themselves in a place where they're thinking about their people ahead of themselves. Like I remember, right, one of my um former coaches, this really stuck with me. I remember her saying to me, I this wasn't even about PR, but it is relevant. I remember her telling me to reach out to some people, and I was terrified that this was just when I was starting in business. And I remember her saying to me, get out of your own head and go and help your people. And that stuck with me on such, such, such a deep level. And it's the same thing here: like get out of your own head and go and help your people.

Speaker 1 3:54

That's what it's all about. Yeah. I think the key things to think about is if you, and I believe everybody that we work with really cares about their message and what they've got to say, they really care about helping people in some way. So whatever it is that they're doing, they're doing because they believe that it's gonna make people's lives better, it's gonna help them, whether it's helping them in their life, whether it's um helping them in their business, whether it's helping their health, whatever that is. So when you think about that and you think about the things that you've got to share on whatever the interview is about. So usually you'll be given a little bit of a steer, but you won't necessarily know all the questions that you're gonna get in an interview. So, this is one thing that you have to just sort of take a deep breath and relax with that. It's fine to not know all the questions. Think about your important messages that you want to say, the important points that you're gonna talk about, and meet the interviewer or the host, you know, depending on what kind of interview it is. Meet them at their level, answer the questions that they ask you, but you can find ways of working in what you want to talk about, but don't worry too much about controlling that I need them to ask this certain thing, or sometimes people will look up the interviewer themselves before an interviewer, and they'll just make decisions or judgments on that person and whether they agree with them, whether they like them. But it actually is it's not about the interviewer, it's about the audience that they're going to put you in front of. So try to leapfrog over that. Obviously, it would be great if you get on really well with the person interviewing you, and hopefully you will. If you go in with openness, friendliness, confidence, expertise, there's absolutely no reason why you won't have an amazing interview and get on really well. You're not trying to make a best friend for life, you know. So long as you go in with those things, you will probably um get on well with them and get your message to the point. But think wider. Think about the people that might read the article that this might lead to, or hear the podcast, or tune into the radio, or whatever the end result is, and think about that spark of inspiration that you might put into somebody else's life, that they might just hear the message that they really need to hear that day, and that is what you're aiming for. So think about your most important and inspiring things that you really want to tell the world and use those as a fuel rather than thinking, I need to go on and tell people that I'm the world's best at this, show people. So I think there's this great kind of show, don't tell. So instead of focusing on listing all your achievements, focus on showing people what you know, but giving them freely your wisdom and advice and letting them know what they need to know from you. You can absolutely talk about your achievements as well, by the way, but don't make it a big kind of catalogue list. Practice a really lovely, snappy way of describing who you are and what you do that kind of gets to the heart of it, and then launch into the the gold, the really great stuff that you've got to share with people.

Speaker 7:40

That was a really great point there, you know. Like, we definitely don't mean don't talk about your achievements and don't do all of that. It just isn't what the full interview is about. Like a lot of people, a lot of people falsely believe that PR is about vanity, it's about looking good, it's about vanity. That could not be further from the truth. It's about dropping the ego, it's about feeling exposed and carrying on despite that. It's about showing yourself as real, as human and talking about like not just the amazing things that you've done, but the mistakes that you've made and the things that have made you who you are today. And you know, just going back to what you were saying there, Catherine, it takes a certain type of badass, doesn't it, to go in front of an audience where you know the typical audience don't agree with you. And that is the exact place where people are going to have the biggest impact, and people will talk themselves out of it. You know, they'll say, Oh, my people don't consume that platform. That's not even true. People consume all sorts now. If they're interested in the topic, it's likely to come up on their socials in the algorithm. Like it's it's not down to what the platform is. That if something hooks them in, they're not going to go, oh, I'm not gonna read that because it's from that publication, or not many will anyway. Like most people will open it and read it, regardless of you know who's saying it, just because they're they're really interested in the topic. But it does take somebody to be really brave and courageous, you know. So this is no criticism on the people who don't do it, but the people who do, they are the ones, the people who are willing to do that, they're the ones that are having the biggest impact, you know. Talking to the people who don't already agree with them, that's where it's at.

Speaker 1 9:49

Yeah. And, you know, we see great examples of this. If you actually think about the interviews that you may have seen or heard yourselves that kind of most speak to you, most kind of, I guess, move the needle on what what you're thinking about things, or maybe they move you and inspire you. It's usually not going to be people saying things that you already know completely yourself. You you might hear those and you'll be like, Yep, absolutely, I'm on the same page. But that's they're just reinforcing what you already know. So it's great that it's um, and you'll listen to them and you'll be interested, but it won't change your life because you'll be like, I know this already. But every so often you might hear something that challenges what you think you know, it makes you look at things from a different perspective. Maybe it really uh moves you because you hadn't uh considered that position for somebody, or it makes you um re-evaluate things. They're the things that stick with you, and they're the things that are a little bit different to what you've heard. So, what you want to do is you know, not every interview is gonna be changing people's lives, but you know, you want to put yourself in a position where you're speaking to people that maybe haven't heard your perspective before, they maybe haven't heard your views, maybe they've got very fixed views that are maybe quite different from yours, and just hearing somebody saying something a little bit differently will just make them challenge. I saw an amazing TikTok this morning when I was getting ready, and it was um a man who is in this country now, but had come over to the UK as a Bosnian refugee, and he had done a lovely video that had gone viral on TikTok talking about his experience as a child and how he was welcomed by the UK, and he'd had a lot of comments from people who were saying, Oh, well, you're okay, but we don't like the people coming over on boats, you're and that kind of thing. And what he did, he didn't block them, he didn't just ignore them, he was very he was addressing them with video, and he was saying, That's great that you think my story's wonderful, but I'm no different to the people here, and he was telling a perspective, and I'm not gonna say that every person that commented on his videos are gonna go away and change their mind, but even if just one or two think I hadn't thought about it from this point of view, I hadn't realised that this person that now speaks amazing English and would be someone I'd be happy to be friends with is actually a few years down the line than the person that I have negative views on, and I just thought the fact that he did it with he did it with kindness in that he was addressing them at their level and just explaining from his point of view his own situation, those people clearly will have very different views on him. He could have decided I'm not going to engage with them because they are a different type of people, they are not aligned with me, but he didn't, he addressed them, and while that's obviously on a very sort of one-to-one thing on a social media thing, that can also be in a media interview. If you go onto a TV channel that or a TV show or a radio show that you know a lot of the audience are gonna have very different views from you, it's your chance for them to hear you, it's your chance for you to say you're not gonna win them all over, and that's fine, but you are gonna put a perspective, you're gonna break into their echo chamber and you're gonna get them to hear something different. If we only ever talk to people who agree with us, we're never gonna move the needle any way, we're never gonna make any difference. So, yeah, focus in on that message and really just remember what's important. I think that's the key to it all. What is the real reason you went into doing what you're doing? And for most people, that's gonna be about making a difference, about making the world better in some way. It's really easy, I think, to lose sight and start thinking about your own personal goals as if they're the only thing, like, oh, I need to get my Instagram to a hundred thousand followers, or I need to earn X amount of money by this date, and those things matter, but remember the bigger picture, which is the sharing what you what you have, and you know, so what if they haven't read your book or they don't know who you are before? You're gonna tell them, you're gonna tell them so they don't need to. What does it matter really if the host has fewer followers themselves than you might want, so long as you are going on their platform and talking about the things that matter and being heard. So these kind of little niggly things, just ask yourself, okay, but does that really matter? And you know, have a little think then. Sometimes it might do, sometimes it might really matter, and other times it'll be like, no, actually, that's just that's just my ego talking. It doesn't really matter. What matters is that people hear what I've got to say.

Speaker 15:24

100%. And they're always the people who do really well with PR, the people who do have that yes, mindset. I love that example as well, and I think that was a really important point to cover. Like if you do go on platforms where they don't necessarily agree with you, you know, again, it's about dropping the ego even further so that you're not coming across as defensive, you know, you're not because if if you start challenging and you start arguing, they're only going to double down on their opinion. The way to change people's mind is like that guy did, is to meet them at their level and then to to you know explain in a way that that'll make sense to them without raising defenses. And then people come round, and yeah, you know, not everybody will come round. And the other thing that that sprung to mind as well with the with maybe the podcast host doesn't have as many followers as you like, maybe. Well, a lot of people get on like sales calls and stuff on a one-to-one basis, but then they'll turn down a podcast because it only has like a thousand downloads a month. Like it doesn't make sense to me.

Speaker 1 16:45

I do remember somebody once asking me when I was interviewing them, I think, for a national publication, and they all asked me how many followers I personally had, and I was thinking that is absolutely nothing to do with it. No, no, no. Because it doesn't matter if I'm rubbish at my own social media. I was writing for a platform that had a very big audience. This is a great, great example. So you think, well, a lot of journalists won't really care about their own social media. If they are, particularly if they are a staff journalist for a big publication, a lot of them might have private social media because actually, if you think about it, if you work for a big TV show or newspaper, you probably aren't going to want people swarming into your DMs talking to you. So it you know, it really doesn't matter because it's the platform that matters. So, but those kind of questions they used to kind of put me off a little bit. So, like, if I was getting in touch with somebody for like a major magazine or a national newspaper and I wanted to speak to them, if the first response was, Well, what's your circulation? How what what's this gonna and it was just like firing off a load of questions which made it very, very clear to me that they were weighing up whether it was worth it for them. So I'm not saying that you can't ask questions like this, but if that's all you're asking, it's a bit like going into a job interview, and before you do anything, you just go, How much are you gonna pay me? How much holiday am I gonna get? What's the benefit? They're all things you need to know, and it's fine to ask, but it shouldn't be the thing you lead in with because it makes it look like you're only there for that. So if the only thing you want to know is what's my plug gonna be, what's your audience, is it good enough for me, then they lose interest in you. So if the answers they come back with are like, yes, it's amazing, this is a great platform, they've kind of lost interest now, and you may even lose that interview. So it what would be better things to sit is is yes, what kind of thing are you looking for? What do you need me to talk about? What expertise do you need me to share? Then you could be like, Oh, and could you share a little bit more information about the platform itself? I'm not familiar with it, you know, so that you're not leading in with just the I don't know if this is worth it for me energy. Obviously, if you're working for with a PR firm like us, then it's absolutely fine to ask us, you know, what tell me a bit more about this kind of platform or whoever you're working with. But when it's actually talking, remember they also have egos, they also have their own egos. So if you're kind of making it sound like you think it might be a waste of time, that's not going to make them feel good either. So it's about kind of balancing that and making sure that you are, you know, showing up as your best self and not getting in your own way with all the things that might be going through your mind. I also want to kind of really remind people that being vulnerable is a sign of strength. So if you're telling a personal story, that does involve dropping the ego a bit often. If it's a story about maybe a difficult time in your life, a challenge that you overcame, that can take a lot to kind of admit to people things weren't always amazing. I didn't always get it right. I sometimes made mistakes. There were times when maybe I wasn't completely together in my life, in my business, that can feel very confronting, but they are absolutely the interviews that will draw people to you, that will speak to them on a deep level, that will make them relate to you because your story will resonate. Because you know, this is no secret here, but not all of us have had moments where we haven't got our shit together. All of us have had tough moments that we've had to get through, and people don't believe people that don't share these kind of stories, it creates a little bit of distrust. So if I ever see somebody give an interview that's like, yep, I started this business and it all went amazingly from day one, and it's just gone from strength to strength, and I've never done anything that I ever thought was a mistake, it's all been amazing. I've got this wonderful routine where I get up at 2 a.m. and I do all these amazing things, and I just have everything in my life completely sorted out. The first thing I think is bullshit, I don't believe you, and that means I then don't really resonate with the rest of what they're saying because I'm like, ugh, they just want to put a picture perfect thing because nobody has had it right from day one with never a blip, never a moment. The interviews that really stick with people, and you know, if you can probably think of some celebrity interviews that you might have seen where they've been quite raw. And they've shared part of a story. I always joke to Luana that if I interview someone about their own life, I'm really disappointed if they don't cry. Because to me, I'm like, I want to bring something out of them that makes them feel something. Because I know that then that's going to be a great story. But those kind of stories are the ones that stay with you where you go, oh wow, I really felt inspired by that. Somebody just being like, Yeah, I'm amazing, I've always been amazing. You can be like me, never done anything. It just makes people think you're hiding something, you're not letting us see, you're putting on a mask and you're not letting us see the real you. So I'm not saying you have to go in and be like, here are every mistake I've ever made, but be willing if you are telling um a story about your life, be willing to let people see some of the messy bits, show a bit of that vulnerability because it's such a strength. People really do relate so much more to people who have an openness and a transparency about them. People who admit it might even be that you admit that you used to be sceptical about what you do now, and now you've it can be anything, just something where you make some sort of human admission that makes them see that you're a real person and not just some sort of Instagram perfect brand.

Speaker 23:30

It's the difference between being seen and being remembered, isn't it? Like a lot of people think that it's these big shiny expert pieces that that that's what they all want. That's what's going to really make a difference. And they're great. Like we love those. But it's the it's the personal stories that people really relate to. That's what really that's what really makes people think, right, that's my person, that's who I want to work with. They'll get me, yeah, totally. Okay, so we carry on, Catherine. Sorry.

Speaker 1 24:06

Just gonna say one last little point, which is when I hear people talking about what they really care about, one of the things that goes through my mind is why does this matter? And why does it matter to this person? Why did you start doing it? Why? And if they can answer that why, they can show why it matters to me, why it matters to the world, why it matters to them, why they decided to do it, that usually gets me a lot further than just telling me what. People tend to go in with, I'm gonna tell you what, what you need to do, what you should do, what you know, but if they can also explain why, why does it matter? Why will this change my life? And that usually takes a little bit of digging deeper, this kind of explaining not just the what and how, but the why, and then that speaks to people on a much deeper level.

Speaker 25:03

Getting people to feel something, isn't it? Rather than just going, oh, that person's so amazing, but really getting them to feel the depth. Yes, I love this conversation. Right, we will finish up here. So if you're somebody who gets this, you know, and you are somebody who can be vulnerable, who can be absolutely badass and drop the ego, because that is what that is what it takes to drop the ego. You have to be absolutely badass, then you are way ahead of most people, and you'll probably do well in media, so we should probably talk. Hello at dauntlesspr.com. I'll see you soon.