Conviction vs. Condemnation Part 2: Running to Jesus

In this second part of our conversation on conviction versus condemnation, I walk through the powerful journey of the sinful woman and the Pharisee. I unpack how the sinful woman moved from the trap of self-condemnation—those lies like “I’m not good enough” or “no one loves me”—toward conviction, choosing to fight through those negative thoughts and, instead, press into Jesus' love. I contrast her journey with the Pharisee’s self-righteousness and speak about how we often fear others’ judgments. But through it all, nothing can separate us from God’s love. This episode is a reminder that His love is constant, and His grace invites us closer, no matter what our thoughts or others say.

Transcript

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Welcome to Abandoning Mama Podcast with your house, Gwanawan Malika Nama.

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Hello you guys, and thank you so much for joining me on today's episode. It's a continuation from last week's episode on conviction and condemnation. Conviction versus condemnation. And I said last week that I was gonna do a part two because I wanted to talk about someone that I think in the Bible would help us, or from the Bible that can help us really see clearly what it looks like to have a feeling of condemnation and then going into the direction of conviction. And I know some of you guys who are listening to this, you have struggled with condemnation and being yourself up, judging yourself up so much, and that weight of judgment. And it's like you it makes you unable to see Jesus. And what I want you to do is remember, first of all, in Romans 5, Romans 15, it talks about how accept each other as Christ has accepted you, right? Acceptance doesn't mean agreeing, acceptance means that I see you for the whole of who you are, and I love you. Let me say that again. Acceptance means that I see you for the whole of who you are, and I still love you. That is what Jesus did. Go back to what I said last week on Romans chapter 5 when it talks about how Christ God demonstrated his lovingness by giving his son to die for us. While we were still his enemies, Christ died for us. So imagine that seeing all the things that we do against him or that we did against him, all the ways that we could hurt him, and still he chose to die. But then we refuse to accept his love, we refuse to accept the fact that he can forgive us because we've done so much wrong, we beat ourselves up, we've done something that like we've done so much wrong. And if if I came before God and and I shared this with him, that he how can he forgive me for the things that I've done? And you feel the blanking for you. That's us dismissing the love that Christ has already shown us. Where are you with that? Are you struggling with condemning, judging yourself, beating yourself up because you feel like you're the worst of the worst? And because of that, it blinds you from missing it blinds you from seeing the grace of God. And I heard this definition years ago that grace is love given to those who don't deserve it. I'm gonna say that again grace is a love given to those who don't deserve it, and mercy is withholding punishment to those who do deserve it. So God in his omnipotent presence and all that who he is, love came from him, and love he is love, and all the greatness of who he is, the majesty of who he is, still wants us to be with him, even though we are dirty and filthy creatures. Wrap your mind around that love, and now let's accept it. Accepting means understanding the vastness of how much God loves you, not just singing it, not just speaking it. I know sometimes we can go to church and we can hear, yes, God loves you, yes, God loves you, yes, God loves you. I know for many years I was going to church and not really understanding the depth of how much God loved me. Because I was seeing Him through skewed lenses, and I was seeing myself, seeing myself through my worldly lenses and not viewing myself through God's lenses. How many of you guys are doing it now? And I want to encourage you to pray about this. Pray and ask God, because that's what I did. I prayed and asked God, God, help me to see myself through your eyes. Help me to see myself through your eyes. And with that, that's seeing the good, the bad, and the ugly, and still choosing to love me because I am first loved. Remember that John says, for God so loved the world that he gave, he showed us how much he loved us by giving, giving his son. He put his hands out there and said, Here, take it. And our response, but here's what we do in our response, let me say this part when it comes to condemnation. Our response, we look at that gift of love and God's saying, here, take it. And we look at them like, no, I don't deserve that. Go put that back. Hmm, I don't deserve that because of how bad I am. No, if you really knew who I was, you wouldn't give it to me. How would you feel if you have a friend, someone that you love deeply, and you had in mind the greatest gift that would encourage their hearts, and you went to your friend and you said, Girl, I got this gift for you, and I know you're gonna love it. And you give the gift to that person, and they open it up and they look at you and say, I don't want that. No, I don't deserve that. Give, no, take that back. I don't deserve that. If you know, you don't know how I think about you at times. How would that make you feel? I know it would hurt your heart. Double it, triple it, whatever amount, and just see that that's what God feels when you do that to Him. Now, acceptance of His grace doesn't give you the right to continue doing the same things over and over again that hurt him. And yes, those things are called sin. It doesn't mean for you to stay in the same sins over and over again and justifying it because you know that he loves you still. No. Would you be in a relationship with somebody who you've told them the way that they're behaving is hurting you? And they dismiss it and like, no, I know you love me, so I'm gonna continue to do this. I know you love me, I know, I know you're here, I know you love me. So I'm gonna continue to do that. What would happen to that relationship? How close would that relationship be? Honestly, it wouldn't be close at all, and eventually you would leave because I know that's what I would do. Why do we think God would stay then with us if we continue to hurt Him? I don't understand that. I literally don't understand that false doctrine that has been taught for so many years. And so today I want to continue talking to you guys about moving from condemnation to conviction. There's a difference. Condemnation again leads to judgment, but there's a way of seeing the things that we've done, like I shared last time about Judas and Peter, seeing what we've done against Jesus, being sad basically about how we hurt him, and then at the same time having a sober mind about who you are before him, a sober mind that says, I don't want to do this again, and I'm gonna remain in you because I know how much you love me, so I'm gonna be obedient because I see how much you've given up for me. And notice that's going into conviction, and with conviction, it leads you to want to live for him. That's why I said last time, too, that the Holy Spirit is here to convict us of our sins, he convicts us, and I pray for you guys who are listening for your hearts to be soft hearts that allows the Holy Spirit, allow the Holy Spirit to convict you. And when he does, be obedient. Don't just follow what you want to do in your own desires, because that's what we do. We want to do what we want to do, and we don't want nobody to tell us what we don't, what we we don't want nobody to tell us what we cannot do. But if you want a true relationship, an intimacy with God that I talk about helping others to grow deeper in, and what God has helped me to grow in, if that's really what you want, then you will die to yourself. You will let go your old life, and you will choose to live for him because you're conscious of how much you are loved by him. And when you mess up, you get a conviction about it, you don't beat yourself up, you see it, and at the same time you repent and grow closer to him again. It's a fluid relationship, it's this fluid thing, not relationship, no, it's this fluid thing that happens when we are really in tune with what it means to accept God's love and how that can lead us into convictions. So here's who here's a story I want to share with you guys, and this is one of my favorite stories is to talk about whatever I do, um, whatever I'm able to preach to women. I like to share this particular story. It depends on context, but this is what my favorite Bible studies to teach on this particular woman, and I hope this helps you, even if you are a man and you listen to this. Men, please listen, you can learn from any woman, just like we can learn from any man. So listen to this, and I hope this helps you as you listen. Okay, so we're gonna be reading again. I'll read in the NIV version. Yeah, my Bible is really well used. This is just one of many, but anyway. Um, in Luke chapter 7, we're gonna be doing verse 36 to 50, okay? So it says, the title is Jesus Anointed by a Sinful Woman. Now, one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him. So he went to the Pharisee's house and reclined at the table. When a woman who had lived a sinful life in that town learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee's house, she brought an alabaster jar of perfume. And as she stood behind him at his feet, weeping, she began to wet his feet with the tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them, and poured perfume on them. When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, If this man were a prophet, he would know who was touching him and what kind of woman she is, that she is a sinner. Jesus answered him, Simon, I have something to tell you. Tell me, teacher, he said, Two men owed money to a certain moneylender, one owed him five hundred and are and the other fifty. Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he canceled the debts of both. Now, which of them will love him more? Simon replied, I suppose the one who had the bigger debt canceled. You have judged correctly, Jesus said. Then he turned towards the woman and said to Simon, Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You did not give me a kiss, but this woman from the time I entered has not stopped kissing my feet. You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven, for she loved much, but he who has been forgiven little loves little. Then Jesus said to her, Your sins are forgiven. The other guests began to say among themselves, Who is this who even forgives sins? Jesus said to the woman, Your faith has saved you. Go in peace. Now, now think about this in this way. Notice the title says, She is Jesus is anointed by a sinful woman. So for her to be called a sinful woman, that means there's a sin that she was doing that was obvious to other people. That's why the Pharisees said, if you wouldn't have known that she was a sinful woman, you wouldn't let her touch you. That means she must have seen her doing something. Now, what is that something? A lot of people speculate that it's the oldest sin that was in the beginning, Genesis. Prostitution. Because Genesis prostitution has been around since Genesis, right? And so they speculate that that's what she was doing. Now imagine this woman who knows that the Pharisees have seen her selling her body, knows that the people around town have seen her in this case. Imagine what she must have felt before going to see Jesus. The things that she had to fight through in her own mind, the condemnation that she must have, she may have had against herself because of the things that she's done that she knew was wrong. She knew it was wrong, but she did it anyway. So imagine her having to fight through that feeling of this is who I am, and everybody knows this is who I am. How can I ever be forgiven from this? So imagine her mind being stuck in that rotation. How can I ever be forgiven for this? How can I ever be loved because I've done this? I'm not good enough to be loved. Imagine those thoughts that some of you may even have because of the things that you've done in your life. Right? I've had them. Not good enough. Now imagine if those thoughts would have consumed her. Would she have gone to the Pharisee's house to fall at Jesus' feet and wipe his feet with his tears? No. She had to fight through those thoughts, through that cloud, to see this man that she had heard about. Hold up, he healed the leprosy by touching him. Wait a minute. I heard that if anybody was a leopard and you touched him, then you'll consider to be unclean, but he still touched that leopard and said, be healed. He had compassion on a leper. He had a compassion on this person over here who was lame and he healed him. They have faults and flaws too. Mine is sin, like mine is like I'm sleeping around with these other men. But he can still love me. It's possible they can still love me. Look at what he's done for these other people. So maybe I can give him a chance. Yes. Let me give him a chance. Let me go. He's at this Pharisee's house. So let me go to his house. Okay, I know they're gonna look at me weird. I know that I know it. I know it. But I can't allow that to stop me from seeing Jesus. No, get out of my head. I can't allow those thoughts to stop me from being in Jesus' presence. No, I can't allow the thoughts that I'm having by myself right now that I'm gonna know I am enough. I can be made enough. If I get in his presence, I can be. Imagine that fight. And she goes into this house knowing, knowing the judgment that is placed on her. So she had to fight through her own judgment of herself, her own condemnation of herself to now face the condemnation of others. Imagine that. But what did she do? She zoned, she zoned into Jesus. Her focus was fixed on him. It's sort of like in my mind, I imagine her not even looking at the Pharisees, just walking in the house, ignoring the whispers, going straight to Jesus, and throwing herself down at his feet, and then beginning to cry, pouring the perfume on his feet, and she tears up and crying. Why is she crying so much? Because you can imagine how much how many tears she had to cry in order to wash his feet. Because remember, this is dirty in those time in that time, so his feet must have been dusty. I'm sorry, that's a little humor on my side, but it had to be. So imagine how many tears she had to cry in order for her to wash his feet, and then along with that, the perfume. So she's sitting there crying, bawling, washing his feet with her tears, ignoring the stares, because now I'm in the presence of Jesus, and I know I know he can help me. I know he can love me. All these other men that I've been with, they just use my body, they use me for what I could give to them, but that's not who Jesus is. Jesus wants me for who I am, the whole of me, even though he knows what I've done, he still sees me. So I want to be in this, I want to be in this presence. Oh I'm washing his feet, and then the Pharisees start thinking if he knew that who this woman was, he would not allow her to wash his feet. Catch that, it was a thought that Simon had, and Jesus answered his thoughts. Simon, let me tell you something. Think about this. Two men owed Daenery, owe some money to a moneylender. One owed this amount of money, a lot of money that was in debt that he was in debt for, and then the other person owed this amount. Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he canceled the debts for both. Which one of them would love him more? And Simon Lance said, I suppose the one who had the bigger debt canceled. Imagine that. So, in that narrative, who out of the two of those people, the simple one and the Pharisee, who had the bigger debt? Who owed so much for the things that they have done in their lives that they needed to be forgiven of? Oh, my mind just went to Romans, talks about how the wages of sin is death. The wages, that means how much we are supposed to get paid. When we sin, we're supposed to get paid death. Imagine how much the wages are. Sin is sin. That means we all of us are old death. In this scenario, Jesus is like, You see, this woman, her sin was great. Too. I came into a house, you did not give me any water on for my feet. I came in your house, you didn't give me anything to drink. To wipe my like you did not give me a kiss, but this woman from the time I entered has not stopped kissing my feet. You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven for her love, for she loved me, for she loved much. Let me say it again. I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven, for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little. When I studied this out, the spirit led me to study out the sinful woman because I was sitting in the seat of the Pharisee, looking at people who had not done, looking at people that I hadn't done the sin that I hadn't done that many sins, I haven't done, I haven't had since I sat a marriage, I haven't um slept around with multiple people, I haven't um cursed people or beat people up, or maybe beat them up when I was a teenager, but I haven't done these things. And I would compare myself to them to think that I'm better than them because I hadn't done those things. But in that, that meant that I was not loving much because I wasn't aware of how much I had sinned, even if it wasn't the level of other people, I still sinned against Jesus. What the spirit wanted me to understand is this woman was conscious of her sins. She didn't excuse her sin, she didn't excuse her behavior, she didn't ignore how much she was hurting Jesus. She realized of all the things, she realized all the things that she had done against him, which is why she was humble and somber about it. She had convictions about this. The Pharisee didn't. He didn't have a conviction about how much he had done against Jesus, which meant he had his love was little. But he who has been forgiven little loves little. Here's the thing people say, one foot in the church, one foot out of the church. Jesus doesn't want lukewarm relationships, he wants all a nothing. Literally, it says in Revelations, he will spit you out of his mouth. He didn't give up his life on the cross for us to give half-hearted love to him. No, he wants all a nothing, and it's our choice to choose to get it to him. But if we're not understanding how much we owe him love after all the things that we've done to him, and how we are the ones that put him on the cross because all of our sins that we did against him, and we're not taking ownership of that to see how ugly that is, and wanting to love him back because we understand who he is and the love that he has for us, then what are we doing in this discipleship movement? What are we doing? That word disciple has been passed around so many, it's gone to all denominations everywhere. We're talking about being disciple. I am a disciple of Jesus, and I've been a disciple of Jesus for 28 years, and I know what it means to give up your life and live your life daily for him, take your cross up and carry it for him. And it's a choice to do that. But why do I choose to do that? It's because he's helped me to understand how much he's given up for me, and my job is to respond back to that love. It's not out of routine, it's not out of what is the word, um legalism, it's out of love. Think about it the sinful woman, she did all this to and out of love to respond to him because of who he is, because she loved that much. And notice what happened: your sins are forgiven. Your faith has saved you. Go in peace. Catch that because she was willing to be vulnerable, to be humble, to throw her feet at the throw her body down at the feet of Jesus, her faith saved her. Her sins were forgiven, and she was able to live a life of peace. And I guarantee it that she did not go back to being a prostitute. Her life was completely changed by being in the presence of Jesus. If you've ever been in the presence of Jesus, you are not going to be the same once you leave him. You're not. That's just it. But I guarantee it, if you are not really understanding how much you need to be forgiven of, like the Pharisee did, sin in the presence of Jesus, he's literally sitting in the presence of Jesus and not really recognizing who he is. So what happens when the Pharisee leaves? He's gonna be the same. Because he didn't humble himself before Jesus, he didn't really lay down his life and say and see who Jesus really is to understand how to love him back and to really be changed because of that love. Oh yeah. When we wrap our minds around how much we are loved intensely by God, intensely by Jesus, you have no other choice but to pursue it and to change, to accept it, to be lavished by it. When I was reading Ephesians, and yesterday when I was at church, we were talking about Ephesians 1. I loved this when I was studying out the book of Ephesians. The Spirit gave me this image of thinking about lavishing. Like when you're taking a bath, you're lavishing yourself with soap. You're washing yourself all over with soap, lavishing. Imagine love being lavished over you like that, like you washed over, you covered over by that love. And that's what it means when we allow ourselves to fall at his feet, to be vulnerable before him, to recognize all that we've done against him, to pour out our heart and cry before him, and then receive that love from him, accepting that love. That's what it means when we talk about conviction. Conviction is a that love is allowing you to be changed, the Holy Spirit allowing you to be changed, to have conviction, all because you understand how much you are loved. Y'all see the connection? Let me know what you think about that, y'all. Let me know, hit me up, let me know what you think. I hope this helped you. I want to end with this last scripture in Romans 8, y'all. This is a short time, but in Romans 8, it says in verse 28, I'm gonna read all the way through to the end. More than conquerors, and we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purposes. For those God foreknew he has, he also predestined to be confirmed to the likeness of his son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters, and those he predestined, he also called. Those he called, he also justified, those he justified, he also glorified. What then shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own son, but gave him up for us all. How will he not also alone with him graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died more than that, who was raised to life, is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword, as it is written, for your sake, we face death all day long. We are considered as sheep to be slaughtered. No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height, nor death, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Y'all, I I pray that this was helpful to you. I pray that this reaches your heart wherever you are, that in Jesus' name that it helps you to grow more in understanding how much you are intensely loved by him and accept that love and respond back to that love by being obedient to his word and being lavished by him, by the love that comes from him. Y'all to remain in him and experience that love. So if you're ready to grow deeper in intimacy, deeper in your relationship with God, I invite you to join my growing deeper intimacy with God webinar. Together, we'll explore how to overcome spiritual robots, hear God's voice more clearly, and develop a closer walk with Him. Visit Loveabundantly Ministry.com to learn more and to email me if you're interested so that I can email you the link to the Zoom. I love to have you join us. I would love it, y'all, because I love connecting with you. If this conversation stirs something deep, especially patterns you've been carrying for a long time, I want you to gently I want to gently remind you that support is available. Through love abundantly counseling and love abundantly ministry, we walk with individuals who desire emotional healing, spiritual growth, and deeper intimacy with God. Seeking help isn't failure, it's wisdom, courage, and self-love. You don't have to face truth alone. Until next time, keep pursuing God's heart and remember you are deeply loved. Be blessed.