From Gay Cruise to Fire Island: Sister Helen Holy

This week on Trigger Warning, Adam and I are coming to you straight from our Fire Island ‘storage unit studio/ — because nothing says “thriving media empire” like folding chairs and exposed wiring.

Adam and I survived a rain-soaked, chaos-drenched weekend of NYC nightlife, including a completely sold-out Dina Martina show (you’re welcome), an aggressively ugly sculpture I regret purchasing, and a series of questionable life choices that somehow led me to discover the one and only Sister Helen Holy… on a gay cruise.

Yes. A gay cruise.

Picture it: a packed theater at sea, men in mesh, cocktails sloshing, and suddenly — a Dallas Baptist woman reframing the entire experience as “high seas ministry.” I knew immediately she had to join us here at the Ice Palace and on Trigger Warning.

And she did.

Sister Helen Holy is a Baptist  from Dallas who believes gay cruises are simply floating opportunities to bring the gospel to “sinners.” According to her, it’s not a party — it’s a mission field.

We get into:

• Why she considers sin her biggest trigger
• How bingo became part of her evangelical outreach strategy
• Whether gambling and gospel can coexist
• Her first time on Fire Island (pray for her)
• And a very serious theological debate about deviled eggs vs. deep-fried eggs

You’re welcome.

@triggerwaringnyc

@redeye_ny

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Write to us at: Questions@TriggerWarningPod.com

Transcript

0:05

What happens when you let Enfant Terrible, now just terrible, Daniel Nardicho, off his leash to say and do whatever he wants? The man who has offended everyone is back. Along with my brother from another mother, Adam Klesh, we're back with our latest creation, Trigger Warning. A podcast that is not for the faint of heart. Prepare to be offended, enlightened, and highly entertained. Trigger Warning is not a safe space podcast, but answers the questions no one wants to ask. Serves deep in vodka and a dash of bitter. Each week we'll bring you the highest and lowest in NYC nightlife. So buckle up. You've been warned. You're here in the storage unit. Welcome to Trigger Warning. God, it was so much easier when I had a house, right? It's like when they do those bidding wars for storage units and they go in, the first thing they see is that fucking hair gut sewn with a closet. This is a story, Helen. I my friend had a gallery and she was really in financials dire straits. So I said, I'll just buy a sculpture and help her out. It was like $3,000. Yeah. Yeah, I know, right? That was a different time when I had that kind of money when I wasn't building something in Mexico with numb nuts here. So I bought it. Literally every person that I've offered it to has said, no, I don't want it. You're good. We're good. This is great B-roll stuff, but we're actually on. By the way, the the clock isn't part of it. Someone put it on there to cover the kids. Well, I was gonna say it's wrong. Yeah. I do. I guess that means this podcast is timeless. It's right twice a day. All right, you guys, you're listening to Trigger Warning, man. And watching. Yes, and watching. Oh my god, I keep forgetting that, right? Well, we didn't do it yesterday. Uh last episode. Wait, is there a camera out there? I didn't know. So I'm wearing a church hat for a reason, Adam. Do you know why? Um you're feeling the spirit? I've been filled with the spirit. Uh it's He was such a nice guy. It's very exciting. He was he was great. Um once in a while, Mama needs her bell rung. Ding a ling ling. No, seriously. Oh my god. I'm so excited about this weekend. We have managed to make uh to make uh what is it, lemonades out of lesson. No, lemonade. Just lemonades. Lemonade, mate. Lemonade. I don't think AIDS comes in flavors. Out of out of lemons. This weekend has been a torrential downpour on Fire Island, but we managed to have the underwear party was great. Uh we have um we had Dina Martina last night sold out. Oh my god. Wasn't that funny? One of the funniest things I've ever seen. I've been watching Dina for a long time. I don't understand how the show gets newer and funnier. It's just it's some crazy form of genius. You know, like when people have it, you know, she's got it. Well, they always say like absurdism is that there's a banana peel on stage and no one uses it. Comedy is if someone walks out and slips on it. Dina came out with a portable like hospital toilet. Yeah, like a senior like fall risk toilet. And set it out and then never, never touched it. It was a great night. It was a great night. It was a great night. Do do get back to your your hat. What's so the reason that we're here It reminds me of when we were in New Orleans. Do you remember when we went to New Orleans and we went to that like Baptist um flea market and everything was like a dollar and we all bought those outfits and Jeff East? Oh, yeah, yeah, that great photo of us. The sunset in New Orleans Mardi Gras. We were all walking around in like Baptist outfits, and I remember I wore a sword with no underwear with no under in your hands. And there were guys that played um jihadist terrorists, and they had a clock and they were walking around as Mardi Gras. A bunch of roads. And then I fell down. Racism was funny then. And he goes, Oh, look like camel because I wasn't wearing anything. You had those huge clown shoes. And I had this beautiful, like royal purple Baptist gospel, like Sunday's finest. I was just missing like black and catfish and collared greens. Well, it was a really that was a great weekend. This is a great weekend. Despite the torrential rains here on Fire Island, what you got out of the park with this lineup this weekend, I gotta say. You done well, kid. Thank you. Thank you very much. I don't get compliments very often from this one, so I take them when I can. Speaking of uh compliments, so I took the Vacaya cruise. You know, you're you've been on many. Several. Yeah, yeah. I love them. They're great. Vacaya's great. Um, and I went on this cruise, and this was a crazy thing. Like everyone kept being like, You gotta see Sister Helen Holy, you gotta see you know the you know, blah blah blah. It's all they talk about. I was like, really? It's two o'clock in the afternoon on a really hot summer day, and we're in the Caribbean on a boat, and it was so gorgeous out by the pool. And then they were like, No, no, no, no, go. I said, No one's gonna be there. So I took Taylor, my you know, our business partner, and I said, Taylor, we gotta go. And he so he pulled up his pants and um and I that was cricket. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, totally. And I said, Let's go. He was just standing there by himself with his pants down. That is a cruise, basically. So anyway, Taylor said, uh, let's, you know, we went and we it was a 700-seat theater, and I thought, oh my god, who's gonna be there on a hot, you know, yeah, it's gorgeous day in the Caribbean. So we went in and it was packed. Packed. And this performer was the this, you know, the basically it was their show, and uh, I fell in love. And so I'm really excited to have them here. I know you have a relationship with them. What I love is what our guest said to you when she did the call out to the audience, and you were the only one that answered. You remember? We're gonna ask her to go. Okay, absolutely. I'm gonna bring that up in a minute. So let's bring her up to the you want to do the intro? Sure. Uh ladies and gentlemen, listener and watcher, Sister Helen Holy. Sister Helen Holy. Oh, I'm so sorry. I was in prayer. Well, I want to thank you boys for having me into this exquisite studio here where you all record. I mean, those of you who are watching, enjoy the backdrop because what I'm having to look like, look at is l disturbing at best. Ellen, I know we apologize. We have her in L. I know, right? We apologize. It's not what you're normally used to. I'm sure you're used to more of a um elegant I would say spiritual. You know what I love what I'm getting is like the view through your hat of Sister Ellen only. Looks like I'm speaking to her through a confessional and I'm having former Catholic drama. I've never worn it. Now listen, hold on. Let me make one thing very clear. You do not need to experience any sort of Catholic drama or flashback. I am not Catholic. Where do you hail from? I am at the first Southern Fried Self-Satisfied Baptist Church. Oh, she's got a big thing. And as a Baptist, I am one of the only people going to heaven. Therefore, let me make it very clear. In this room. Yeah. They all can burn. So, you know, I I was actually one of my foster homes was Baptist. Really? Yeah, yeah. They had like a trapdoor uh on the stage where they had I had to be saved. Oh. Is that is that what you're not quite that uh because we were hoping you do with the pool today, because we have a lot of people here needing saved. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Like you fell through a floor. Hold on, stop, stop, stop. No, no, no. They open a trapdoor and they have a pool, and I had to walk in the pool and then they dunked me under it. Oh, okay. It's called baptism. Yeah. We believe in full immersion. Full immersion. Because if we don't like someone, we can hold them down a little bit longer. Make them really make them work for us. That's right. Helen, what really interests me is having seen you on the gay cruise, uh, it was a gay cruise. Um, and then how you prefer to call it a high seas ministry. There you have it. How did you end up working on Fire Island, this Vicaia cruise, and and yet you're a Baptist? Because they don't seem to be in Congress. Is it a mission? Well, it is a mission. People often ask me that why I spend so much time ministering to the the sick and unclean, or as I call them, the sodomites and lesboterians. But you know, the Bible tells us where to take the message wherever it is needed, and I just don't think of a better place than with all of these sinners at sea. Yeah, there you go. And they are sinning. And today in about in about an hour, she's gonna be ministering to uh a bunch of sodomites and lesbyterians here on Fire Island. Yeah, do you find do you find bingo to be like the best vehicle for your for your mission? The message, yeah. Well, no, not really, because as a woman of God, I can minister in any sort of environment. You know, I've always said the other thing is people wonder why a Baptist like myself is uh hosting a gambling event. But again, I have to take the message where it's needed, and some people enjoy the bingo. It's like Christ in the marketplace, right? Didn't he go you quoted scripture? Isn't that something? Some things do stick. No, it all stuck, unfortunately, but I had to get rid of it. Yeah, that was pretty good. Yeah, it makes me nervous. But I want to know just I feel like I'm back at St. Ignatius. Genesis of this, you know, um Genesis is the first book of the Bible. There you go. That's why I was using it. Good call out, Daniel. The genesis of this, of how you got from the first Southern Fried Baptist Church. Was that right? Something like that. Yeah, yeah, close enough, right to Fire Island is an interesting story. Well, you know, uh when I'm seen on these high seas ministries, oftentimes I am uh seen by people who are w needing and thirsting for my ministry elsewhere. And as you said earlier, you were on that ministry back in February and felt that I needed to come and speak and lay hands on as many people as possible here. Do you I mean Adam lays hands on people, but it's a different story. But like with consent. Do you save people? Is that what you do? Like if if you would you be are you able to like save people? Well, I believe I plant the seed. And I also know that there's a lot of seed that gets planted on this island. And so, what a better place for me to come and offer what I can do. Listen, well, this is the farmer in the dell right here. Call me Johnny Johnny Appleseed over here. I believe in, you know, I I'm oftentimes on my knees in prayer. Same girl. And when I can, I offer oral testimony that might touch someone in a deep way. Oh, this is amazing. I couldn't agree more to everything you just said. I'm so excited. This show was so revolutionary for me because I've seen, you know, I've seen church-related kind of shows and ministries, but like this was really great because it um it was so fun. It also did have a message. Well, yeah. It reminded me of like those mega churches. Like we Daniel and I grew up in Ohio, and we had this guy named Ernest Angely. Oh, Brother Angely, the faith Haler. Yeah, and we also had Rex someone because we have Rex's erection. Rex Humbard. Yeah, yeah. Oh, Rex and Motty Humbard. I used to watch them on Sunday mornings. Yeah, so they used to like have the people who needed to be saved, you know, come out. They just pow, you know, the lay the hands. And I remember you were doing bingo, and you kind of do something similar where you call out, you say, Is anyone in here not playing bingo with us right now? Oh, listen, uh, that always brings me a concern. I want people to be involved, but inevitably there's people that are not playing bingo. And so I have to ask the question how many of you in here are not playing? You're only uh being watching the show. And inevitably people will testify that that's why they are there. And I look at them and say, How dull does your life have to be that you watch bingo? You must be the people that go to golf tournaments. Just sit there watching a little white ball rolling around. How did you sort of justify mixing gambling with uh you know a sh not I want to say a show, but like a how do you mini religion? Well, that's a very good question, as I said earlier. If you'd been listening. I was just gonna say, I feel like we went over this. Oh, sorry about that. I believe that the gospel needs to be taken to those who need it, and some most gamblers are suffering from some sort of sin of addiction. So I why not? You know Yeah, I guess you're right, actually. Sisters is this your first time to Fire Island? Well, uh in ministry, yes. Oh, okay. Yes, I've heard about it. The uh the So you've got I've always called it the Island of Fire because I think it's the next step on the way to hell. It's a little more appropriate. You're probably right. The Pines is definitely the next step. Isla del Fuego. Well, I am, but yes, I'm looking forward to bringing the message out here on the island that's long. Because you hail from Texas. I do, and my ministry is based in Dallas. Okay. Is that and you spend most of your time there, I assume, when you're not on Vickaya and Well, when I yes, when or whenever I am called to ministry. Nice. Well, we are so excited about the show today, the the bingo today, actually. I'm really excited to see. You know, right now there's a bunch of people out there in their chats. I mean, I'm wearing my church hat, which is like hot as hell. Let me try this a little bit. Well, let's watch our language show. Oh, sorry. How does it heck? Hot as heck. Yeah, totally. Um, so I want to thank you for coming. We do a thing here where we talk about what triggers us. So, you know, for me, it could be, you know, um burlesque girls that don't wash their feet before they go on stage. It could be um this is it. Oh my god, that is good. Does it bring out the blue in my eyes? It really does. You know my other church hat that I bought. Oh my god, the other church hat that I bought, which is somehow got lost in the transition when I brought it out here, was a giant devil egg, which I'm excited about. We're having Helen back for uh I love deviled eggs so much. I know, right? Oh, listen, just looking at a deviled egg gives me gas. Makes me sweat. It's like Pavlovian. Like, I don't think I'm at like a fun family function. It's not a fun family function if there isn't a deviled egg. Like if I go to a wedding or a funeral, I need a plate of deviled eggs. Oh, I was gonna say I'm like, why did I fly to Cleveland, Ohio? I thought there'd be deviled eggs. That's what they do, yeah. Well, and if you're from the south, it's not only a plate of deviled eggs, but you probably have it on a deviled egg plate. Oh, absolutely. With the little divots in it, right? It's like a gigantic golf ball. Oh my god, I love it. And I I like to I like to zhuzh mine up. With what? Uh like I do a little bit of bacon on some of them. You can do a little chives on some of them. I started making, I'm such, you know, like I watch these Instagram things. Sister Alan, do you want to see like those Instagram cooking things and people are throwing nuts? Yes, uh-huh. So they take it and you make like all your, you know, your yolk mixture, right? With your mustard and a little bit of apple cider vinegar and some mayo and salt and pepper and whatnot. I get it. Keep going. Okay, sorry you put it in a piping bag. You're like, we know how to make a deviled egg, bitch. Um, and then they take the whites and they roll it in panko and they deep fry the egg white, and then they pipe it in. So you'd get this like deep fried deviled egg. As if it's not bad enough. White's only whites only. Oh, excuse me. Oh, that's not a thing for you. That was my favorite thing. Oh, there was a traditional company at Long Island. It was this Long Island uh winery that was doing a tasting and they were doing just the white wines, and it sign said tasting today whites only. Well, now that's racist. Well, it's Long Island. Yeah, exactly. Right. Uh we thank you so much. We have to head out because we have a show. It's starting in 15 minutes. Sister Helen Holly, you know what we do on the show. Sorry, I'm I crammed an olive in my way. Oh, you really do. Oh, sorry. Why don't you tell her about trigger warning? So we do a trigger. Is there anything that triggers you? Sin. Sin. That was the most succinct. We've never had one so tight. Yeah. Sin. Well, it's very listen, uh, sin triggers me, but it triggers me into ministry. So it's a trigger that has a positive outcome. You know what I'm saying? Totally. Absolutely. I'm so excited to see the ministry today. I believe I wouldn't call it a show. I'm not going to call it bingo. Now we're going to call it ministry. A ministry, yeah. You're you're excited to go to the mission. And by the way, I think deep fried uh devil degs would cause me a trigger as well. Really? Is it the deep frying or is it the I can smell the sulfur already? But is it like a lot of southern food deep fried? Well, yes, but there's just some things that aren't meant to be fried. Like an egg white. Yeah, like an egg white. Yeah, that's disgusting. Oh, I listen, I'm I'm a fat bitch. That was you. Brother Adam, what triggers you? What does trigger me today? Hmm. Last episode it was littering. Oh. What triggers me now? You think about it, I'll do my own. You know, I know exactly what triggers me. And we're dealing with it a lot in our industry. Copycats. Copycats trigger me. We are in an industry where I always say this, and people have heard me talk about to death. This is kind of like my ministry, as I say. In nightlife, really in life, you have two options. There's two roads, and there's culture and there's cash. Culture rarely leads to cash. You have to put a lot of your money in to like be important to your community and make sure they've got safe spaces and you're doing interesting things. And they they don't pay off a lot because they cost a lot. You know, we're not huge studios. And when you do the cash route, it's just like get them in, turn and burn them, don't off throw them on. Exactly. Jake the snake. Um, and I am seeing so many flyers around with the use of like our company name, like people calling parties Red Eye, Red Eye, people calling parties truck stop. No, people wear Devil Wears Nada, people doing an underwear or jock strap party while you're doing an underwear party. I'm like the ripping off is my trigger. I can't take and it just numbs me. Like I get so angry I go cold. That's a good trigger. Yeah, that's my trigger right now. Well, thank you for sharing. I feel special. Thank you for hearing me, Cesar. My trigger is this it's people from Los Angeles, primarily. Just period. Totally. That was it. No, full stop. Angelino's. Done. There are a lot of people in Los Angeles, I won't say their name, Jackie Beat, who like write, you write them and ask them, hey, uh girl, I know we don't really know each other well. We've worked together a bunch. I've hired her. And um She stayed in your apartment. She stayed in my like how unwell do you know her? Oh, she stayed in my, yeah, yeah, that's true. She did my part and complained the whole time. That's why I call her complaining. The whole time. You don't get the reference, but drag race. There's a plain Jane, so I'll call Drag Jackie Complain Jane. So anyway, um, yeah, she's complaining Jane. So she uh I wrote her about a year ago and said, Hey, I'm working on this project in Mexico. I understand you bought an apartment in Puerto Vallarta. I'm just trying to kind of figure out like the the contract. You can redact the numbers. I don't need to know the numbers, but I just kind of want to know what the contract is. It'll save me a lot of money and kick in the tires with a friend. And uh nothing. This has happened many times in Los Angeles, by the way, with people there. I just don't want to ever go to Los Angeles. But then they'll but then they'll show up six months later asking you for something. So she wrote me. Oh, girl, I'm sorry. I just saw your text, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. By the way, could you book me on Fire Island? There it is. Leave her on red. Fuck it. Leave her on red. I'm sorry, Jackie. Everyone knows you're a user. I'm not interested in you at all anymore. I'm sorry. I'm gonna work with the people who have a the respect to like go, hey, I saw your email or text or whatever. That's my trigger. I heard she gave up using, so that was a positive thing. Not food. Not food, no. Oh using that heavily. Oh no, no, that's awful. We shouldn't use fat jokes. Why not? What was that? I thought I had it on uh vibrate. I'm sorry, that was my phone. It was a sale. That's a little bit of a trigger, and I don't want to just Jackie's a fine person. Great. One example of many. But it's some reason in Los Angeles it happens a lot. I t I say they go sundome. You've heard me say this. Yes, it's like always 85 degrees, so something can always just be minana or like they don't want to go to a beach day, they don't want to perform because like you can it, it's just always going to be nice. Well, that happens in Mexico, but I still manage to respond to people. Well, they want money. All right, well, you guys. Thank you so much for it. Helen Holy, thank you so much for doing this. We gotta get you into this. I hope so. It was really nice having you. Thank you so much. And I'm excited to go enjoy your mission. Well, I am too. Which starts in about four minutes. Four minutes. We gotta run. We gotta go. All right, guys, we'll be back. You're watching Trigger Warning. Thank you so much. We'll be back next week. We'll be back next week. Bye. Trigger Warning, hosted by Dalen Ardiccio and Adam Meet Hammer Clesh, is a Pride House media production and produced by Josh Rotensweig. Please note the views reflected in this podcast do not represent the views of Red Eye, the Ice Palace, or any of its subsidiaries. And any reference to scat, shrimping, upperductors, skanks, masturbating, rump riding, wolfbagging, Cleveland steamers, jigglypuffing, rusty trombones, cosby sweaters, Mexican pancakes, and Alabama Hot Pockets are the views of Mr. Ardichio, Mr. Clesh, and his listeners, not the establishment. If you are offended, please seek immediate psychiatric attention. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe wherever you listen to the podcast. And while you're there, leave us a rating and review it really helps others discover the show. And if you didn't enjoy this episode, don't tell anyone. Stay connected and join the conversation by calling us on Trigger Warning Podcast. And you can send us your questions or hate mail to triggered at triggerwarning.com.