Brian J. Smith on Fire Island, Hollywood & His New Film A House Is Not a Disco

We made it!

It’s our Season Finale of Trigger Warning, and I’m closing it out with Daniel LIVE from the Ice Palace in Fire Island — so yes, it’s chaotic from the jump. 

We get into sobriety updates, NYC nightlife nonsense, the ally T‑shirt “transition” misunderstanding, and some very unserious underwear‑party behavior before things get unexpectedly deep. 

Then the super talented and adorable Brian J. Smith (Sense8, The Matrix Resurrections) and powerhouse agent Bill Veloric join us to talk Hollywood typecasting, Juilliard showcase politics, and how agents actually build sustainable careers in this industry. 

We dive into Brian’s directorial debut documentary, A House Is Not a Disco, all about Fire Island Pines, queer history, and what happens when iconic LGBTQ spaces evolve (or implode). 

We also get real about indie film distribution, controlling your own revenue, and why the film is streaming on GATHR (no “E”) https://gathr.com/vod/69affd7f/a-house-is-not-a-disco. 

It’s Fire Island meets Hollywood - a season finale as befits Trigger Warning

CLICK HERE to check out A House Is Not a Disco at Gatr.com https://gathr.com/vod/69affd7f/a-house-is-not-a-disco

Don’t forget to book your trip for the hottest cruise RU5H.com

@triggerwaringnyc

@redeye_ny

@pridehousemedia

Write to us at: Questions@TriggerWarningPod.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_04 0:05

What happens when you let Enfanturible, now just terrible, Daniel Nardicho, off his leash to say and do whatever he wants? The man who has offended everyone is back.

SPEAKER_02 0:16

Along with my brother from another mother, Adam Klesh, we're back with our latest creation, Trigger Warning. A podcast that is not for the faint of heart. Prepare to be offended, enlightened, and highly entertained. Trigger Warning is not a safe space podcast, but answers the questions no one wants to ask. Serves deep in vodka and a dash of bitter. Each week we'll bring you the highest and lowest in NYC nightlife. So buckle up. You've been warned.

SPEAKER_04 0:48

What is it? Pick one. That's Penny. That's a Penny Lapone. Okay. Wait, why is that a penny? Because it sounds like her when she sings. Very brassy. Oh my god. That actually is a very okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:04

Everything's amazing. By the way, we say that with the utmost love and respect because I think you're it's harder to find two better and bigger Patty Lapone fans than here.

SPEAKER_04 1:15

I love that Stella's calling me as we go on air. Sorry, girl.

SPEAKER_02 1:19

We also have a Kristen Channel with one. Go ahead and hit it. She's like, I'm popular. No, that's kind of it. That's the Christian channel. It is right now. And I love Kristen. I'm saying it. Very sharp.

SPEAKER_04 1:33

All right, so we're here. We're on our season finale. Isn't that crazy? Some people are calling it the finale. Our season finally.

SPEAKER_02 1:44

They're like, finally.

SPEAKER_04 1:47

Some are hoping it's the series finale.

SPEAKER_02 1:50

Like our Grey's anatomy. I just love this guy. You can't see him, but I'll tell you right now, I'm getting an eyeful here. And my glasses, the reason I have my glasses there is because I don't know who you're talking about. There's no one here. Our guest today is like the he's brighter than the sun. Look at that. Yeah. He's a sweetheart.

SPEAKER_04 2:05

It's actually, he's um, he's like SNL style. He's been on a lot of my podcasts. He's already been on this one, but we're bringing him back because he's got new shit because he works.

SPEAKER_02 2:14

We won't introduce him for a while, but look at those walking sticks. Look at those walk-in sticks. White as the fucking peer in snow. Totally.

SPEAKER_04 2:21

Really reflecting the studio lighting here. If you need some bounce. Wow. People are calling me. I don't know why my my phone won't stop breaking. It's noon.

SPEAKER_02 2:28

By the way, can I just mention we're all over the place right now, guys? We're just we're getting into it. That's you're getting it. We call this BTS. BTS, kids. It's hot. Except it's here. I just coined it. I just coined it. BTS. All right, Donald. If the lights go out, hit the Jenny. Grab your tube still. Grab your tube still for the head. Those are all words that really get me going when he calls a generator a Jenny because he's trying to sound. He loves to give you a little more Donnie and a little less Marie person. That's our Adam for you. Hey girl. So I alright. Anyway, you're watching and listening to Trigger Warning. My name is Daniel Nardiccio. I apologize in advance. I'm Adam Clesh. Yeah. My formerly known as the can opener in college, that's what they used to call me. They used to call you. Meat Hammer back on D list radio. Exactly. Exactly. They called me the can opener in college.

SPEAKER_06 3:27

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:28

Yeah. Am I allowed to talk right now, by the way? This is this at least. We haven't introduced you, but you can talk.

SPEAKER_04 3:32

You're just a voice in the corner. They don't know who it is. Disembodied voice. You're just a disembodied voice. We'll get you. Calm down.

SPEAKER_02 3:38

Because what's going to happen is once the cameras go on you, then it's just basically like we're going to just dim, and it's going to be like halos and angels singing around pretty little fucking massage. Vaseline on those lenses. I got some Vaseline for you. It'll be like the soliloquy in Pippin. It's just one spotlight. But we love this guy. Anyway, uh, I you know, I quit drinking 53 days ago. I quit smoking and then I went to Berlin. So you quit smoking, and you actually were part of the reason that I quit smoking because I thought to myself You were gonna support me.

SPEAKER_04 4:10

It was really sweet.

SPEAKER_02 4:11

I was gonna support you, and I thought to myself, God, that's so weird because I know that we influence each other. Then I went to a whole festival and uh I partook in everything. Which is understandable. I understand the other things, but when you said that, I thought, you know what, this is so smart. And like I knew when we do the podcast that we like get very addictive with the cigarettes, and I thought Oh, we just start ripping them during that. I managed to not drink through a couple podcasts, so I was like, all right, she's got that under her belt. Now I'm gonna quit smoking, and then I quit. And actually, to be honest with you, the problem is And you're doing great. It's like two and a half weeks. I couldn't, I don't want a cigarette at all because I'm not drinking. The minute you put a line out here or I had a drink, girl, I would just be like, Yeah, I would just be like, exactly, exactly, exactly. So I'm not doing anything.

SPEAKER_04 4:54

My boyfriend likes when I quit smoking. Alex is like, I love it when you quit smoking. You're always hard. Really? Yeah, he said, he said my erection fails from smoking.

SPEAKER_02 5:03

And he doesn't realize you keep running to the bathroom and try mixing.

SPEAKER_04 5:05

Yeah, exactly. Clear.

SPEAKER_02 5:08

Oops, sorry. This is my drug of choice right now. Agua. I don't normally get avion, but it wasn't John Waters Ryder because this weekend we have John Waters, so I got a bunch of bottles of AB on the case.

SPEAKER_04 5:18

You can't tell from the wallpaper.

SPEAKER_02 5:19

Yeah, this weekend is John Waters' weekend here on Fire. I'm very excited about that. He's doing a big show tomorrow night. Tonight we have Brittany. I don't know anyone from reality television. She's a reality show. She's a lovely lady. I know. She's wonderful. She's really sweet. Uh she's uh uh from the Salt Lake City, uh, the the uh Rules Housewives of Salt Lake City, and she's and she's dating one of the Osmonds. Dommy's nephew, I think, Jared. Sure. Sure. I love that you know that family tree. Anyway, no, I only know because someone said, Is Jared gonna be there? And I'm like, Jared, who? I thought they were talking about the guy that oh, I can't say the guy that I went to Zipalite to that I did not go through his bag. Josh will fix that and put us. But everyone else is so far ever so I'm gonna talk to our guest about this in a minute.

SPEAKER_04 6:01

We're gonna ask Brian that second question because I want his opinion on it.

SPEAKER_02 6:03

All right, but before we do that, so you know a few of you wrote in that you were offended that I said, Stop that tran. I thought I was going to an anti- supporting an anti-trans movie, but it was stop that train. People wrote in 30 seconds ago? No, no, no, no. I did it in the last podcast, baby cakes. Oh, I black out most of the time. So I made these t-shirts in order to be an ally, and they're for sale this weekend here at the Ice Palace. They say being an ally is not enough. Transition. Yeah, yeah. $20. That's it. $20. $20. Make a transition.

SPEAKER_04 6:32

Yeah, yeah. I can't even probably do that, right? That's no, I don't. You'd rather both go back to your Wu-Tang joke.

SPEAKER_02 6:37

$20.

SPEAKER_04 6:38

Yeah. There it is again.

SPEAKER_02 6:40

That's like that's like the Shenyun people. So I did this.

SPEAKER_04 6:43

We're trying to get signed by Sirius, not paying for the show.

SPEAKER_02 6:45

I did the show at Carnegie Hall, and I forget this as long as I live. I did the show at Carnegie Hall, and they had the they they had uh the I think it was the Alan Cummings show. And I went outside because I wanted to get a picture of sold out. They put the big three-sheet poster and they put sold out on it. I had to get a picture right because it sold out like two hours before the show, so I was so excited. I ran outside to get a picture with Alan, and there was this woman with like flyers for Shen Young, and she was like, ah! Like and I said, My God, why is she acting like this animal? And someone said, Because they have a quota, they have to get them in your hands. Absolutely, yeah. Or they get like beaten with reeds or something. It's like a financial cult. It's a total financial cult.

SPEAKER_04 7:24

They get like they get like Singapore bubblegum beaten. Like really? Yeah, arches of the feet. That sounds hot. Yeah. Have you ever been caned?

SPEAKER_06 7:33

Guilty. Guilty.

SPEAKER_04 7:36

I'm running for the exit. I need an adult. I need an adult.

SPEAKER_01 7:39

Can't remember.

SPEAKER_02 7:41

No, I um I have nothing to do with that. Hell's your head. I haven't had any complaints. I know, right exactly. You're feeling comfortable. I make a good living. So anyway, they're all over the jokes today. There are, and they make no sense. Oh, look, our guests are leaving. I know, right? Exactly. It was nice having you. Yeah, great. Glad we got to chat. So anyway, uh the shirts are for sale. John Waters tomorrow night. Very excited about that. This whole weekend's gonna be exciting. The underwear party is selling like gangbusters. Absolutely. The guy on the flyer is forbaden from dancing, forbade from dancing because he should called in sick, but then ended up at um at uh end up at the whatever. If you see a flyer, he ain't gonna be here. It's Nico's on the fly.

SPEAKER_04 8:21

Oh, because he called out and then showed up at independence.

SPEAKER_02 8:23

Yeah, I don't do that. Mama don't play like that.

SPEAKER_04 8:25

Yeah, that's messy. Yeah, totally. It's really messy. Daddy's little oven mitt that the axe. Yeah, exactly. Wow. The cruise ships I do, we had that happen. Somebody can go on a pre-sale. And then she was like posting Instagram photos. She said, I can't go on this pre-sale because I broke my foot. And then she was at like a 5,000-person Kentucky Derby party. I was like, I think you can walk around a cruise ship of 1,500 people.

SPEAKER_02 8:46

I think so too. And speaking of which, I should mention this. Uh we are, if the World Underwear Party is officially kicking off the Rush Cruise going through the Bahamas on October 2nd, 4th, 5th, and 6th, but we're the opening night party, which is really great because that means we get on the boat. Are we not sailing on the third? Wait, we're gonna be doing dives.

SPEAKER_04 9:06

You said the second, fourth, fifth, and sixth. Are we just is everybody? You're just roffing everyone on the boat on the third. No one's gonna know where that. That's where we go through the Bermuda Triangle. We actually lose the third. Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 9:17

No, we go through the straight of the not straight of her mouse. The straight of Hermouth. The straight of Hermuz, Mary. Um straight to the oil. By the way, that was such a good show last week. We had um Giancarlo Saresi and Jay Jerdy.

SPEAKER_04 9:29

I know, and I was high on ketamine in a forest in Berlin. It was so fucking funny. I felt like I saw them.

SPEAKER_02 9:36

Yeah, they were so funny. It was a really great weekend.

SPEAKER_04 9:38

No, my phone was blowing up. Everyone was like, oh my god, it's incredible. And then it was Mother Disco after that, and they were like, the ice palace is on fire. And I'm gonna give props again. Alex is fucking killing the lights. Who? Alex. He's killing the lights. Who's that? Alex Bond.

SPEAKER_02 9:51

Can I just say, uh, speaking of which, you're ridiculous. Now you're gonna start a DJ duo called Bear and Bond, you and your boyfriend. Bond Bond and Bear. Bond and Bear. Get a life. Yeah. You need to be working. Your guest. No. No. The answer was no. She can barely do one of the jobs that she has. I'm the one, like literally, my back is a little bit more. From the cunt that showed up three hours after I set up the studio. Set up a studio. It's a corner by D like Club. She wouldn't know where to plug a single fucking corner. I literally am like busting my balls to get this fucking Zipelite thing, and she's like, I was camping. And like while our shows are gone, I'm just looking up something. Uh yeah, here we go. You're looking up a fancy word. Here we go. This is it. This is me. All right, ready?

SPEAKER_00 10:40

All my life I had to fight.

SPEAKER_04 10:48

That's my God. I hate you so much. Alright, we're gonna take a break because I can't take any more shit from him. And then we'll bring our guest. Then we're getting away. I keep looking up his shorts. Alright, we're going to commercial. We'll be right back at trigger warning.

SPEAKER_06 11:18

The cavalry of rise.

SPEAKER_03 11:32

So uh you probably noticed in the commercial that there's a lot of construction going on. This is a trigger warning commercial Daniel away from my need of paradise there.

SPEAKER_01 11:48

We are gonna be offering our trigger warning uh listeners and watchers a deal. We have uh we're building casting just down here. You can own the piece of paradise. You can reach out to me at Daniel at the CasaOasis.com.

SPEAKER_03 12:01

And there's a link to it right here.

SPEAKER_01 12:03

And there's a link to it right here, and we'll give you a little special deal if you want to get this.

SPEAKER_03 12:09

Oh god, grandma's getting nasty.

unknown 12:13

The man of my dreams want to show me true.

SPEAKER_02 12:17

You're back here at Trigger Warning. I'm Adam Clash, Daniel Nardiccio, and I'm so excited about this guest uh for a myriad of reasons. Can't think of a one. We know the number one reason, right? Them gams. You know, I feel like scaring up his shorts. I feel like fucking um, you know, Burt Reynolds and Boogie Nights. I feel like they're golden them jeans. You should feel like Harvey Weinstein. Totally. It's a little bit of it's a little 50-50. Do you know what the funniest story? Mirror Savino told this story. I think it was Mira Servino told me this story.

SPEAKER_04 12:51

Tread light leaks, I don't think there's anything funny about Weinstein, but go for it.

SPEAKER_02 12:55

I'm gonna pick up that he he would ask for like neck massages, but I guess he had like pustules on his back. So you would literally be massaging him. It was Mirror Servino. I know it sounds like I'm name droppy, but I was at a situation with Mira Servino. She's like, where you literally would give, I'm sure she didn't fuck him though, but whatever the story is. She would you would do it and you could feel them pop over like he had pustules on his back. And he's known for having like really bad skin, but I mean pustules. Like cystic. Like cystic out. That's like Henry VIII style. That's like disgusting.

SPEAKER_05 13:25

He needed like Dr. Pimple Popper.

SPEAKER_02 13:26

Oh, that's great.

SPEAKER_05 13:28

We watch that sometimes.

SPEAKER_02 13:29

Love her. So should we introduce it? It's just like a disembodied voice. But the body's great. Yeah, yeah. It's an embodied voice. Hey, baby. I'm gonna grab my wallet.

SPEAKER_04 13:41

Do you need cans and a mic? Um, yeah, we have um one of my uh best friends, uh, roommate, an extremely talented actor, Brian J. Smith. He acts. He acts. He's currently acting happy to be here.

SPEAKER_05 13:57

Is it I do not sing? You don't sing? I don't sing. No, you didn't carry. You did karaoke at Karen's birthday. Yeah, but you know, that that's everybody can karaoke. I mean, I I'm talking about like standing on a stage and getting paid to paid to sing. Well, I mean, well, I mean I'll be right back.

SPEAKER_04 14:11

And we also have your lovely manager who I always call Billy V. Is it Valoric?

unknown 14:15

Valoric.

SPEAKER_04 14:16

Valoric. Okay, you actually can speak. Bring your mic closer, Bill. Oh, yeah, you can get like really. Let's get in there. You've got to really get into it, yeah. There you go.

SPEAKER_02 14:23

How's that? So, didn't you reproach me about Leslie Gore? No, okay. No, that's not there. You know Leslie Gore? I think she sang It's my party. I don't know how I knew that, but anyway, I did look her up, but I didn't book her. And I thought it was this this could all be cut out in post. So any Brian.

SPEAKER_04 14:45

That's right, Josh will add it to a third episode next season.

SPEAKER_05 14:48

But uh, but but just for for the record, Bill Bill, you're you are an agent.

SPEAKER_02 14:53

Who do you who do you agent? What do you what's the verb for agent? Because if you manage, I'd say who do you manage? Who do you agent?

SPEAKER_07 14:59

Well, the agent represent? Well, the agent is is like I guess historically the people who bring the opportunities, you know, they read the scripts and they bring the opportunities, and the manager, and Brian has great managers, are um, you know, they're a little more involved intimately.

SPEAKER_04 15:20

Right.

SPEAKER_07 15:20

You know, like with schedule sets.

SPEAKER_02 15:22

Like he only does green MMs, he needs a mattress topper, no less than four inches. Or you don't want to do the this festival because it's not gonna pay well and it's not good for your career. They'll they're more managers would say that, right?

SPEAKER_07 15:34

Exactly.

SPEAKER_04 15:35

Nobody over 25 for postural back massages.

SPEAKER_07 15:38

Yes, exactly. But yeah, I mean when Brian was doing Sensei, his managers were on top of, okay, now you're in this city, you know, here's the hotel you'll be staying in.

SPEAKER_06 15:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 15:50

You have to get out of there by five.

SPEAKER_04 15:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 15:53

You know, the turnaround wasn't right. You know, that the manager is really granular.

SPEAKER_04 15:58

It's so you don't have to really think much other than your craft, right? So, how do I get into intimacy coordinating? That's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_05 16:05

Oh, you would be you would be a fantastic. It would not be problematic at all.

SPEAKER_02 16:09

Jesus Christ. Yeah. I coordinated a lot of intimacy in my life. I've coordinated a lot of lack of intimacy in my life. Which tongue you're comfortable with. Exactly. Oh God, I saw the hand to stuff.

SPEAKER_04 16:25

That's exactly what you want your intimacy coordinator to do, is use hand gestures like this.

SPEAKER_02 16:29

How would I become an intimacy intimacy coordinator? I really want to know.

SPEAKER_07 16:33

I don't know, hon, but I would I would and if he knew he wouldn't fucking tell me. I would support you because I think you're good at everything you do.

SPEAKER_04 16:41

Oh, thank you. Thank you. He's good. But I Man, Bill, you're a great agent.

SPEAKER_07 16:45

Well, I it's the truth.

SPEAKER_04 16:46

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, but do you have to sugarcoat a lot of shit for people like what you're doing right now? No, no.

SPEAKER_07 16:50

But that's not what I'm doing right now. I honestly think he's amazing.

SPEAKER_04 16:54

Oh, thank you.

SPEAKER_07 16:54

I I yeah, I don't know how it works, but I think like that would be like the production department of an agency that maybe represents editors and DPs and makeup people.

SPEAKER_04 17:05

DPTP, don't, don't, stop, stop. Directors of photography. Yeah, yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_02 17:12

The guy that gets to put that little sock on it and goes, here you go, like a little bow around it. You know what I'm talking about?

SPEAKER_05 17:17

Oh boy, do I.

SPEAKER_02 17:18

Have you worn one?

SPEAKER_05 17:18

I have worn, I have worn all kinds of those. Uh a pri privacy um garment, but it's something like a modesty. Modesty. A modesty garment. Modesty garment. Modesty garment, yeah. The girls is called a modesty garage. So you can't call them cocksocks. Um, I mean we do. We do. Like, you know, like at the canteen. Yeah, you know, but like has anybody laundered my cocksocks? It was smelling like a gym.

SPEAKER_02 17:45

Yeah, so do you need like are they sized? And if so, what size was yours?

SPEAKER_05 17:49

Yes. Oh, mine was just normal. Also, too, you gotta understand, like, you know, you're you're these are like set conditions, right? And you're usually in a very cold room in a and with like, you know, 50 people standing around. She's not using like a JFK wind sock. Uh no. No. Do you do like a like a soccer, you know, like a full me high? Yeah, exactly. A lot of room in here. None of those.

SPEAKER_04 18:14

It's not like the Adidas that Flea wears at the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

SPEAKER_05 18:18

Like it, like it's Olus.

SPEAKER_02 18:19

So Shichi LaRue once told me that she had uh like she taught this guy uh in porn and she told him to go douche, right? So he went because he was gonna get nailed, right, in the porn. So he went and he did the douche, but he didn't know you expelled the water. He kept the water in there. So then so when you had to douche for your scene, did you expel the water or did you keep it?

SPEAKER_05 18:37

Um I I I I like to keep a little for myself, you know.

SPEAKER_04 18:41

It just Billy, this is the point where an agent would normally say, you don't have to answer that.

SPEAKER_05 18:45

Or we're out.

SPEAKER_04 18:46

Oh, wait, no, that's a that's a lawyer at a deposition.

SPEAKER_07 18:48

No, I've I've got a staff meeting.

SPEAKER_02 18:51

We that's funny because I just have staff. We Brian's used to this. Brian, unfortunately, has had me put like literally lay my penis in his hand at the Pines party.

SPEAKER_07 19:00

I know, I've I've been following. I I I watched the I watched the show and yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_02 19:06

And now it's become a thing, but he now only says he only do it if I'm hard and I'm gonna be 60 in a week, which means It's hard. Womp. Hit the womp womp. Um That joke. That joke.

SPEAKER_04 19:18

Yeah, Patty Laphine. Patty LaPone. I don't know where it is.

SPEAKER_02 19:21

I don't want I don't want my erection and Patty Lepone in the same sense. It took you six tries to six.

SPEAKER_05 19:26

No, it took me all eight. But every time we see each other though, like that's like the that's do you remember that time at the Pines party? I mean, obviously he does. I can't wait.

SPEAKER_02 19:34

I can't wait for the day that you're like, no, what are you talking about? Yeah, totally. You should just say that. That's how you turn me off. I mean, my butt my battery, not my like turn me off naturally. So anyway, back to you. Bill James.

SPEAKER_05 19:43

Well, you know what? I do want to say real fast, and and and because you know, you're talking about like you know, agents and managers. I I I don't know if you've heard this before, but I I cannot tell you how many people have told me like how lucky I am that Bill Valoric is my agent. He is like has one of the notoriously uh best reputations of like any agent in in the until today. I am incredibly for letting him do this. Why what makes what makes a good agent? Because he That's a great question. A lot of agents treat like actors like they're like stock chips, and you're there like a like a number, and you're just there to sort of feed the machine of the of the agency. Which I mean, that's I mean, of course it's a business, you know, like everyone you know wants to like make money and bring in money, but I think Bill is always like what kind of career will make you happy? What do you want to do? Like what like and and I think and that's not normal. Right. It's more like this is what I want you to do, this is how I see you going.

SPEAKER_02 20:47

Or this is what you've done and was successful, so we want you to just replicate that the Kramer problem. Like where you're only gonna play this kooky neighbor, yeah, and Kramer decided to go full tilt boogie racist to erase all of that. Yes, yeah. Um got rid of his Seinfeld identity, didn't he? But you know, it really does pay off sometimes, you know, really for actors to like for instance, Murray Bartlett used to work for me and uh, you know, has gone on to win the Emmy for uh White Lotus and uh a million other now he's doing a million projects, but his agency stuck with him because Murray was very strict about what he kind of he's like obviously a good-looking guy like you, wouldn't do the things, just those things, you know what I mean? That that that path. And his agents really worked with him on it, which I thought was great.

SPEAKER_07 21:30

Yeah, I mean, I I I agree with you, and I think that I mean there's certain things that that wouldn't work for Brian. Right. I mean, there's certain things he couldn't or as he said to me once, I can't he was offered a pilot once, and and they were it was very lucrative and it was a network thing, and he said, I can't make these words feel like my thoughts. Right.

SPEAKER_04 21:53

Oh. Did you guys did you guys hook up immediately after Juilliard? Because I know you're a Juilliard graduate. Did Bill like just come and grab you?

SPEAKER_07 21:59

Yeah, well you

SPEAKER_04 22:00

Because you guys do a showcase, right?

SPEAKER_07 22:01

Yeah, I I went to see I was going to see plays at Juilliard.

SPEAKER_05 22:04

See, the really smart ones go okay, so you do a sh you do a showcase at the end of your fourth year, but you're also doing a full season of plays. Right. And the really smart agents are the ones who go see the plays.

SPEAKER_02 22:14

Right, because then you see them in different roles. So it's not just like because someone might have that one role they're incredible in, but they can only do that. Yeah. Like you had seen me do probably two.

SPEAKER_07 22:24

I saw you in two plays.

SPEAKER_02 22:25

Yeah. Yeah. Can you do comedy?

SPEAKER_07 22:27

Um you know, it's funny, actually, I I mean, I yeah. You did a Nicky Silver play, which was a dark comedy, uh-huh, and you were great.

SPEAKER_05 22:36

Yeah, I mean, I it's funny. Like, I feel like I I I'm I'm I'm like you sort of have like an on-screen persona. Yeah. You know what I mean? And there's just it's just ha a lot of it has to do with like the way your face is shaped and the sound of your voice and your body, right?

SPEAKER_02 22:51

We talked about symmetry last time. Symmetry is all about screen for eight, yes. Beauty's about symmetry, Bill, but you knew that.

SPEAKER_07 22:56

But it's oh I know, in the last episode. Yeah, it is.

SPEAKER_05 22:59

So you know, but but that you're sort of you're especially on camera, you're you're very not limited, but but but there is a box that you are in that that you communicate, right? Like whereas your box beat. Not everyone's Meryl Streep. My my box is deep, and um I'm sorry, I was trying to make it to that box.

SPEAKER_02 23:16

That sounds like this sounds like we're beginning the vagina for the exit. My vagina is deep.

SPEAKER_05 23:21

My vagina floral.

SPEAKER_02 23:23

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_04 23:24

Um vagina is seven miles wide.

SPEAKER_05 23:27

Well, I mean, I you know, in a way, it's great because I've I've been I I've had a sort of I've fallen into a kind of great niche market, which is a sort of like a I play like a lot of I do play a lot of gay men. Do you think gay roles?

SPEAKER_04 23:42

Since the advocate article, right? Would you say it increased since then? I guess. Or was it like on the rise?

SPEAKER_07 23:48

Also, you've turned enough things down that you couldn't find your way into that that were straight characters, and you said I can't I can't make myself this guy.

SPEAKER_02 23:58

Yeah, so does that frustrate you though? Do you ever get frustrated?

SPEAKER_07 24:01

When I was younger it did, but it doesn't now.

SPEAKER_02 24:03

Because you realize there's a method to their mandate, unless they're totally bullshit like crazy and they turned on every like Macy Gray.

SPEAKER_07 24:09

Yeah, it's true. I mean, I was I was raised by my father was an agent for illustrators and and photographers. So I grew up listening to him talk to artists. So that was really my training.

SPEAKER_02 24:20

Right, totally.

SPEAKER_07 24:21

So um I uh you know, he's so eloquent about acting. I learn about acting from him. I mean, if you listen to the artist, the artist teaches you how to represent them.

SPEAKER_02 24:32

Yeah, that's a really good way of putting it.

SPEAKER_07 24:34

So that's the that's the craft of what we do because sometimes you're representing, right? And sometimes you're agenting. Sometimes it it's you know, something comes in, the person wants to do it, you negotiate the deal, you're agenting. And then sometimes you you're crafting a different type of dialogue based on what you know your client can do.

SPEAKER_02 24:52

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 24:53

And based on what he's told me.

SPEAKER_02 24:54

And sometimes you're intimacy coordinating. Do you get to you ever get to do that with Brian?

SPEAKER_04 24:59

It's never gonna happen. It's never gonna happen. Brian, do you have any idea? You know, I'm gonna ask this question differently. I'm gonna ask it to you, Bill. How much shit do you wade through before you offer Brian something? Before you're like, hey, this came across the desk. I think it's great for you. Well, like you. Is it a like two in ten?

SPEAKER_07 25:16

Is it a No, he likes to know everything that comes in.

SPEAKER_04 25:18

Okay. Smart, smart.

SPEAKER_07 25:20

Yeah. So we talk about everything that comes in.

SPEAKER_02 25:22

Because otherwise, I'm sorry to interrupt you, but like, yeah, otherwise you he gets a he misses a something and then he could blame you, be mad at you for it, whereas he has he has a say in these things.

SPEAKER_07 25:32

The second you pass for the client and the client doesn't know, they come out of the subway in 14th Street, and a director comes up to them and says, Hey, I offered you something. It's a shame you're not available. And they're like, What the fuck? Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 25:45

Exactly. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 25:46

You have to also, you know, the more they you learn, you almost you learn just as much by what they turn down.

SPEAKER_02 25:53

Yeah. But what would you want to see Brian in next? And then Brian, I want to hear what you would want to be in next.

SPEAKER_07 25:58

I I would like a series of independent films where he's a big thing. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02 26:02

Like a like a Parker Posey career or like a little more. They're not really like, you know, or free management. Let's get a Mac Man wagon.

SPEAKER_07 26:10

Yes, those the the types of films, the neon, the A24 films, or the real the real uh grassroots emerging director who's written a great script and is sort of cobbling it together and the pieces come together, and and he gets to play a a man who wasn't able to play ten years ago.

SPEAKER_05 26:30

Totally, yeah. Brian, what about you? What would you like to see yourself doing next? Yeah, I really uh i i I'm always sort of surprised like it if like a script comes in and it like kind of grabs me and says you need to do this. So it it it it's always material to that makes sense. I'm I'm sort of sort of like oh I I I really don't know. I don't have to be.

SPEAKER_04 26:49

You base it on the art piece itself.

SPEAKER_05 26:51

Yeah, it's sort of like it's more like surfing than like trying to hit a target. You know what I mean? Right, no, totally. You catch a wave. Yeah, you're like well, it's like okay, what's coming my way? Okay, this is interesting. Uh maybe I you get a gut feeling. You know, you know, you read something and you know, you're like, you know what? I know I will not be helpful on this job. And especially because like film, you don't have time. You you don't you don't get to go away and do all your homework and like do your animal work, you know, and like disappear into a character. Like you you have to literally show up and and just it has to be there in the most organic way. It's almost spiritual the way you're describing it. Um sure, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 27:31

Which I think is which I think is kind of how you ended up on the the project we're gonna talk about next, because I want to show a trailer and I want to ask Bill before we show this trailer. How did you feel when Brian said he was going to direct a documentary uh about the Pines party, and then it became about the Fire Island Pines and Yeah, I was really moved.

SPEAKER_07 27:52

Uh the the evolution of it was such an organic artistic journey. I hate to I hate that word, but that's what it was. And um, you know, it was like he learned how to be a gay man on Fire Island, so did I. Yeah. Right. Same. So he the the more he was informed by the community, the the more he was.

SPEAKER_02 28:16

What we're talking about, just you know, uh, is the house is not a disc of the documentary that Brian directed. Uh is just so because we didn't say that right now.

SPEAKER_04 28:24

In fact, let's go to the trailer right now. Let's go. We're gonna take a break to the track right now. We're right back in a moment.

SPEAKER_02 28:28

We're talking with Brian, J. Smith, and Bill Valoric. We'll be right back in just a moment.

SPEAKER_00 28:34

This is the place I call heaven. It's been described to me as a place as if the gays created their own world. This is a sexy beach town. 600 houses, 100 co-op units, a mile and a half long. There's something magical about the fact that there's no streets, no cars. It's a very sweet small town. It's this combustion of architecture and money and sex. This is 49 miles from New York City. You never know what's gonna happen. There may be 25 people in my pool in an hour.

SPEAKER_07 29:04

You always get invited to parties, you get invited to sleepovers. A party 24-7.

SPEAKER_00 29:11

I don't think there's any place where you can get such a concentration of beefcake. Everywhere I look, I see a story. It was hypersexual. You couldn't walk down the uh boardwalk without having an appload. And you want to tea and you have sex, and then you go up and you have sex again. You don't want to see it? I mean, that's there is absolutely, positively nothing normal.

SPEAKER_04 29:33

It isn't real life. It's an idea of what real life could be.

SPEAKER_00 29:38

This isn't we are in charge of everything that happens here.

SPEAKER_03 29:47

Woke up this morning to find out that we lost 30 feet of our beach.

SPEAKER_01 29:50

What we're doing is trying to change the culture.

SPEAKER_03 29:54

There's no reason why we shouldn't have space here.

SPEAKER_00 29:56

This is what history is. This is the game at the island of the world. It'll get confusing, it'll pull you off of your center, it'll be wild, it'll be a spell.

SPEAKER_04 30:15

Alright, so you're back here at Trigger Warning. That was a trailer of A House Is Not a Disco, Brian's. Highly recommended. Now it's streaming now, right?

SPEAKER_05 30:22

Yeah, so we got it up on uh a site called Gather. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_04 30:25

Uh we're gonna put the link right here.

SPEAKER_05 30:28

Yeah. Which is, you know, and it it's it it's it's a little bit of a different platform for it to be up on, but it was important for us to, in the first iteration of its streaming life, for it to be in a place where we could really control it. Uh-huh. Um, it's so easy when you make a film to completely lose control over who was seeing your film and how what the revenue stream is. Right. You know, the thing is it's gonna be up forever, and it's going to be up on all different kinds of platforms uh throughout the course of its life. But like right now, we just wanted to have a place where people could go, they could watch it, right?

SPEAKER_04 31:04

And we're not also giving away like 90% of the film to because you've been really struggling through like the business side of like what launching a film means. It's harder than making the film. It is it it's infinitely it's certainly less joyful because I I know for a fact I've I've gotten to see both sides. I've gotten to see my friend be the the business side of making a film and and getting it out there, and then I got to see this beautiful thing of like the first time you stepped on the other side of the camera. Yeah, and you were like a little kid in a fucking candy shop, yeah, changing lenses and lining up shots and whatnot. It was really incredible to watch.

SPEAKER_05 31:41

You know, I mean my my I guess like uh the way I thought about it at first was that oh, you know, I'm I'm just going to just make the film and then uh you make it and you finish it and you put it out in the world, and it just kind of, you know, I've been so lucky, I think, in my career. You know, so many things have happened for me in such a in such a sort of uh organic way like that that I think I just assumed that the film itself would also have that kind of life. And it's like, no, it's also like like the film is like my first uh audition. You know what I mean? Yeah. And there's a directorial debut. Yeah, and and it's like we were just talking about you have to keep doing it and doing it and doing it and doing it and doing it. So uh, you know, it it it's I I hope it's the first of of many films that I make.

SPEAKER_02 32:26

What I like about the film, what I obviously love your film, but like what I like about the idea of it is that you just also never know down the line what will happen. Like once you put it out there, like so much of what I do career-wise, is like you have to be there to experience it. Like Patty Lepone at the Ice Pals or Liza, people were there, you weren't, and we didn't we did film the Liz thing, but it's never gonna recreate the vibe, right? And and and so many of my experiences that I've had are ephemeral, they're gone. And so this, but doing the podcast, it's not. So I sometimes listen back to the old ones that I'm like, oh god, Adam was a mess.

SPEAKER_05 32:57

But um and Bill, you know, so I don't know if people may know this. Bill is it's one of the great things about for me making the documentaries is that we actually Bill is in the film.

SPEAKER_04 33:08

Yeah, I was there for that day. We had such a special day together, Bill. That's when we like first actually like really connected.

SPEAKER_07 33:13

Yeah, you were a big part of m my little my contribution to it.

unknown 33:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 33:18

Um we got to speak about our brothers.

SPEAKER_07 33:20

Yeah, because we they had they had you take me to the end of the boardwalk, and you had a they you were waiting for a cue to send me uh to send me uh, you know, um on my little walk, and and the conversation that you and I had as I was about to do that was very moving to me. And I learned a lot about you then.

SPEAKER_04 33:43

Yeah, and I you it was it was really wonderful.

SPEAKER_07 33:45

Yeah, and I and I think we bothered it at that moment, and then it was just like Brian and I are we talk all the time. So it was just a continuation of our dialogue.

SPEAKER_04 33:54

Yeah, like me and this jack off over here. Just a continuation of our dialogue.

SPEAKER_05 33:59

Well, can I ask you guys like what was it like being in a documentary? I mean, that's such an odd.

SPEAKER_04 34:05

Well, I I had a big I had a big issue because you're such an intense interviewer, and I didn't expect to there was really a difference between all of the years we've just hung out and bullshit together and whatnot, and then the the the way you ask questions and whatnot, and the way you interview. I think you had me like crying in the first like 90 seconds, and I had to like pull myself together to actually give you like a proper interview. Like you just caught me in a in a time of like things were really clicking for Daniel at reflections, and I was helping out, and we brought up Judy and house music and how I got into nightlife, and it just kind of like it was both like a a weeping from the beauty, as well as like I was talking about some really heavy, hurtful things that you know I've I had gotten through, and then I was able to kind of like pull it all together, you know, wipe my eyes.

SPEAKER_05 34:51

But I feel like that was all part of like becoming like comfortable in front of like the crew and the camera. I mean, that's got to be a struggle, right?

SPEAKER_04 34:58

It's really, really different being interviewed for a documentary as opposed to acting a script.

SPEAKER_06 35:03

Yeah, you know, like you.

SPEAKER_04 35:04

Yeah, being in front of a camera is very different when you're being someone else. Like, you know, here's your role and this is what you're doing, and let's talk about you because there's very different things.

SPEAKER_07 35:13

Yeah, I mean, I I I think he's a genius of observation.

SPEAKER_04 35:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 35:18

And um, so when you're being observed that way, and his sense of curiosity is so vibrant that the questions got me. Every question got me.

SPEAKER_02 35:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 35:28

He's a decent read of people.

SPEAKER_02 35:29

I'll give him that. Well, I I want to mention again, the name of it is called The House is not a disco. You can see it on gather. Is it gather.com or just gather?

SPEAKER_05 35:36

Gather with without an e. G-A-T-H-R. Oh, everyone's dropping the E. I know. It's very grinder of them.

SPEAKER_02 35:41

It's very grinder of it makes sense.

SPEAKER_05 35:42

It's like grinder, but gather.

SPEAKER_02 35:44

But gather, like gather yourself together. Isn't that the phrase? She gathered at these two cocksocks in this video. Get rid of the E. So I know you guys gotta leave, and you know, the show's called Trigger Warning. I have two things real quickly I'm gonna ask you. So I went last the our last episode, I asked our listeners slash viewers, I went on a trip with a guy that I met, okay? I met this guy recently, very cute, and I went to Zipolite and he came with me. We barely knew each other, okay? So we went, we shared a hotel room because he's hot.

SPEAKER_04 36:12

Yeah, it was very 90s rom-com. You guys had like seen each other in passing.

SPEAKER_02 36:15

Yeah, and I was like, we should go on a trip and find gold because there's gold up in the mountains, and so I got a gold thing and we went to go look for gold. And he was a gold digger, and he was a gold digger, so it worked out perfectly. That joke I'd gotten so much miles out there. But the ready, are you ready for this? This is the question I'm gonna I'm gonna pause it to both of you. Okay. We stayed there, our dop kits were on both sides of the sink in our hotel room, and mine, and I looked, and his had four medicine bottles in it, like prescription bottles. I'm not gonna say his name, but the question is would you have looked at his medicines?

SPEAKER_05 36:46

No, I I don't think I would have.

SPEAKER_02 36:49

Maybe you were the two you were two the only people that have ethics in my entire thing. Josh said no? Josh said no. Josh said no. Because everyone else I have asked has said yes, and I've asked a lot of people. I do it. I think I would have been like it's the much more interesting weaker. Yeah, I mean, it's a lot of people. Well, interesting, it tells you a lot about the person that they have no scruples.

SPEAKER_04 37:10

Well, I just want to know if somebody's off their meds, and then that way, because like I can deal with someone who's off their meds.

SPEAKER_02 37:15

Like that that was my defense in like, but you don't need to know what their meds are unless they tell you. I mean, what if they start acting? He was adorable, he was incredible. He wasn't acting cuckoo, he was incredible. Okay. I have great, I had a great weekend with him, four or five days with him. But I was probably like Clarendon. It's like our personality. It didn't cross my mind if you want to cut to the chase, you want to look and see what they got in there. I'm assuming one was prep or bictarvey, god only knows. But like one or the other, but the reality is there were three other bottles, and I guess maybe it is burning in my mind because I've asked it two weeks in a row. But I've asked a few people, and everyone's like, 'You look, because you want to look.

SPEAKER_04 37:50

Now I want to know.' Did you? You didn't I didn't look. Oh, no. Bill, you look like something.

SPEAKER_07 37:54

Well, no, I mean, I would have hopefully discussed it, you know, or or had a conversation like, you know, I don't I don't party, so just FYI. You know, if you're partying, it you're probably not gonna have fun with me.

SPEAKER_02 38:09

Right. But these were medicine bottles. But you mean it could have been like pill pills.

SPEAKER_07 38:14

Yeah, I mean, I guess it it could be. I mean, I'd been in situations with people who, you know, pulled out a bag of stuff and I said, sorry, I I need to go.

SPEAKER_02 38:22

Right, totally. You know, so that happened to me last Friday. Yeah, here at the underwear party. This really cute kid pulled out a bag of coke and it's like, let's go. I was like, I'm sorry, I can't. No more for me right now. And they were like, not today, thanks. Yeah, not today, Satan. Yeah. Yeah, but you're right.

SPEAKER_07 38:37

I mean, I wouldn't have it's that's their business.

SPEAKER_02 38:40

Yeah, totally. All right, uh that's good to know. All right, now the show is called Trigger Warning, and the reason for that is that we talk about something that triggers us. Now, you'd seem like someone who barely has a trigger in your life. Life for you has just been smooth sailing, good-looking guy, Juilliard. Literally, the C is just part for Brian J. Smith, I'm sure. But for Daniel Nardit's show, it's work. So I'm going to tell my trigger. This is the guy who brings me to the house. I live on Fiber Island, and I gotta be honest, one of the things that's fucking driving me crazy is right before we start, it's 11 fucking 55 in the morning, and our bar barista, whom I adore, is putting on Pump Up the Jam. Like if you're gonna fuck why do we always have to settle for the shittiest gay fucking dance music? Like the rhythm is gonna get you, or you know, I got the power, by the way. I got the power. She lives out here. The woman who wrote that lives here in the grove. That's so interesting. Yeah, Tony. She lives in the grove. So I shouldn't talk shit about the song.

SPEAKER_05 39:34

Tony, Tony, Tony. Was that the name of the group or something?

SPEAKER_02 39:36

No, her name is actually Tony something. Uh it's Tony S. I think she's like a yeah. So anyway, uh such a great song.

SPEAKER_01 39:42

Why are you waiting on that?

SPEAKER_02 39:43

No, but the thing about it is is they go literally. I forced the DJ, the borist is here in the morning to play classical, and they do it now. But the minute they get it, the minute the clock strikes where they can put on something, it's always like shitty, like tracking words. It's like, God, you can't even just segue like Island is such a great island, but it's run by Long Island hillbillies.

SPEAKER_04 40:06

We call them clits. Have you ever heard that term? Clitz? Cheap Long Island trash.

unknown 40:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 40:11

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's it's it's overrun here.

SPEAKER_02 40:13

And I love it, but like everywhere you go here, it's always like the shittiest bottom of the barrel music. They have been beating us over the head with Madonna's album, which is not bad. There are some songs on it that I don't remember.

SPEAKER_05 40:24

I haven't hadn't heard it, but I've heard that.

SPEAKER_02 40:25

Yeah, well, you're gonna hear, trust me, Ken the bartender. The manager. Oh my god, don't worry.

SPEAKER_04 40:29

Our manager is just Madonna not.

SPEAKER_02 40:31

The only reason it went to number one was because of him. Well, wait, let me try to engage you.

SPEAKER_05 40:35

Would Born Slippery, is that would you consider that to be a born slippery? You know, like um uh uh you know what song I'm talking about. Oh see, that would be great. That's a good job. That's kind of like yeah, it's kind of like Pet Shop Boisy. Oh, you oh you know this. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 40:53

Okay, I just mean that like No, he knows. Okay, here's what I mean is like is that we had these music that were pop songs at a certain point, and now everyone's like, oh, this music. There's Kim Petrus. There's a lot of music that is new-ish that is good, but every time I like literally leave them to their own devices, it's like they they're like pulling out like shitty pop from a certain period. Yeah, yeah when I go back to New Orleans. Like WMM the Blizzard. No, Texas. Texas, okay. When I go back to New Orleans, you walk into a club, it's literally the same shitty music they were listening. And I'm like, there's such a plethora right now.

SPEAKER_04 41:26

Because there's no like intent on culture, right? It's just like hit play on the program list, all forget. There's no POV. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 41:31

Anyway, that's it's what drives me crazy when I walk around here and I'm like, oh my god, are we listening? Well, you they play Whitney Houston and Sylvester today. Both of them are dead. Sylvester. Both of them are dead. Let them die, let them rest. Yes. All right, that's my trigger. I mean, it's a great song, but I think it's I read. I have a thing in the DJ booth that the DJs of the underwear party are not allowed to play Sylvester because everyone thinks Fire Island, Sylvester. Yeah, but there's so many other things you could play that are like reminiscent of The Boss from Diana Ross. I don't mind hearing that once in a while. Also, any new wave's good.

SPEAKER_04 42:04

I like New Wave. New Wave's good for lips like sugar. Paul Tomorrow. Yeah, it's not my class.

SPEAKER_02 42:10

What about Stacey Q, Two of Hearts? I'm just kidding, too.

SPEAKER_04 42:15

Anyway, that's we got about 180 seconds left with uh Billy V over there. Bill, what triggers you?

SPEAKER_07 42:19

I don't know where to start. I think bullies. Bullies. Oh yeah. That's a nice one.

SPEAKER_04 42:27

Yeah, yeah. I resemble that remarkable. We say this on the show all the time like fucking be kind, rewind. Like it's so easy to be a kind person. Like being a fucking bully is such just stop. Don't yuck anyone's yum. Like figure out what's going wrong in your life that you feel like you've got to, you know, beat somebody up emotionally, physically, whatever. But they tended to have been bullied, so I'm feeling a little compassionate lately for bullies. Well, that's coming from one, so that's okay.

SPEAKER_05 42:50

Brian, do you have one or you want me to jump in? No, I I actually, yeah, it's a this is a great quote from Tennessee Williams. He says, like, the only the only human frailty that I cannot forgive is cruelty. Little Tennessee Williams education. That was pretty intense. That's an adjustment. Juilliard paid off in that moment. That's the only thing I remember from Juilliard. Really? Yes.

SPEAKER_04 43:08

Yeah. That and how fucking difficult it was, and that there's a great Chinese restaurant on the block. Oh, we go there all the time. It's nice to be.

SPEAKER_02 43:15

Do you keep in touch with your Juilliard um colleagues? Uh not No, they're too uppity.

SPEAKER_05 43:20

Not a lot. But but um but you're not.

SPEAKER_04 43:22

Angela Bass doesn't take your calls.

SPEAKER_05 43:23

Uh one of my Angie Bassie doesn't take your calls. Yes, yeah. Seth Mumerick, who's on the Burns. Yeah. I love the Burroughs. Yeah, yeah. I love the Burroughs.

SPEAKER_04 43:34

What a great show. Never seen it. It's like it's like um it kind of reminds me of like uh young adult or you know, it's an immature adult version of Goosebumps. Do you remember Goosebumps? Yeah. It's kind of that. It's kind of like what goes bump in the night kind of thing without being like a game, like a board game. They were R. L.

SPEAKER_02 43:55

Stein novels for YA. I think Young Adult, though, that's a good movie. Charlize Theron. Yeah. She's someone for a really good example who's made some really great choices.

SPEAKER_07 44:05

I agree.

SPEAKER_02 44:05

A career and a really great facial surgeon. Oh, she was amazing. Her new facelift. She just came out with it after the so she did the Odyssey, clearly went away for a while, had a whole thing done. You see her new face? I haven't seen it. What's the quote everyone's saying that she was saying in the movie?

SPEAKER_04 44:21

She's like, get these beggars out of here. Or whatever it is.

SPEAKER_02 44:24

Yeah, her new face is incredible.

SPEAKER_05 44:26

Is it sculpture that she's doing? I don't want to know. No, she got a facelift.

SPEAKER_02 44:29

I mean sculpture's like filler, but she got like the whole shmiggy. She got the whole shmiggy done.

SPEAKER_04 44:34

All right, well, Billy's got Billy's got seven minutes till his next interview, so he's got to get the hell out of it. Let me do my trigger. Let me do my trigger. Um it it once again it has to deal with ice palace employees. So we live on a sandbar. Some people call it the ashtray in the middle of the ocean. Um, and we get a lot of packages. And because we run a nightclub and we do a lot of things, I get a lot of Amazon shit and whatnot. I get photographs all the time from Ken, our manager, Fabi, our bartender, really anybody, Coco, who goes down and gets packages for us. And then they take a picture of the fucking box and they say, Hey, you got a package? And I'm like, Well, open it. Open the fucking I didn't order a cardboard fucking box with my name.

SPEAKER_01 45:15

Oh, my employees don't give me my packages that arrive at my island beach house.

SPEAKER_04 45:19

Don't open my mail. I am a white woman with my mezcal paloma, and I have a fucking problem. What's in the box, bitch? I feel like I'm in the movie seven. What's in the box? What's in the box? Just show me what's in the box. I order a thousand packages. Don't send me a picture of a fucking cardboard box.

SPEAKER_02 45:36

I don't think this is relatable, but I'll go, I'll let you have it. I'll let you have it. That's not a really let's try to work on these. So, Brian, we love you. And I didn't realize that we were two of you, but I brought you a gift here because uh We can get Bill one. We've got extra shit. We got we've got a clona Willy is you can make an exact replica of your or your wang penis. Yeah, you can make a dildo of your own deck. So in the future, when a director says, Brian Smith, go fuck yourself. You're like, you know what? I think I will.

SPEAKER_04 46:01

Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 46:02

And it glows in the dark. And it glows in the dark.

SPEAKER_04 46:03

We got you a glow in the dark one. So it doesn't work. It doesn't come with its own uh modesty garment, though. So you're gonna need two onset. Now, Bill, if you'd mark that down, please, Brian, not too much. I know that's real hopeful. That's real wishful thing. One to cover in the trailer and one to wear the colour.

SPEAKER_02 46:17

But what you do is you you you cut you put your hard dick in it, and then you cut like the excess away, not of your dick, but of the of the thing. And I wanted Brian to have that. So for a while, I actually made clona willies of some of my better known friends. So I have a couple around, and I had like a bunch of them at my house, and then people would come over and try to figure out is it this celebrity or this person? And I got it from that woman who got all the rock and roll uh she made casts of all like rock and roll gods, like Mick Jagger and all these people. She made casts of their cocks.

SPEAKER_04 46:50

Is she the one that did Almost Famous?

SPEAKER_02 46:51

No. No. But this woman uh she made cast journalists. So I did it of a few people that when people come stay at my house, then I would get them to cast their cock. And I would say, I won't tell anyone. Welcome to my home. Here's a penis of a celebrity dancer. Well, you should. I had one friend who did this who would go, uh, Alan Cumming.

SPEAKER_05 47:08

Um you should have all your guests do this and then just like have like a shelf.

SPEAKER_02 47:15

I did it, and I had them at my house, but we ended up the the someone threw them away, which was stupid, so now I gotta start all over again. I love you so much.

SPEAKER_04 47:21

I never want to see that when it's done.

SPEAKER_02 47:23

I 100% want to see that done. And I want to see it bookshelf there. And I want to see it glowing. Yeah, what's it?

SPEAKER_04 47:29

Where's the turn the lights off? Where's the dick?

SPEAKER_02 47:31

We'll get one for you as well, Bill.

SPEAKER_04 47:33

Very thoughtful, Dan.

SPEAKER_02 47:34

All right. What podcasts have you ever gone on or been a part of that gives you a parting gift? Come on.

SPEAKER_07 47:41

I've never been on a podcast, so this is the mystery.

SPEAKER_02 47:44

Well, we'll definitely get to her, Bill. This is your virgin podcast. Well, thank you guys so much.

SPEAKER_04 47:48

All right, you're listening to the trigger warning, watching it, listening. Like and subscribe anywhere uh you can. Uh iTunes, uh Spotify, our producers yelling something. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 47:59

Oh, this is our last episode. This is the finally.

SPEAKER_04 48:02

This is it. This is this is our season finally. They were calling it a finale. I'm like more like finally. Um we're gonna throw that link up one more time. Make sure you go to Gather, a house is not a disco, directed by Brian J. Smith, a documentary about the lovely Fire Island Pines. Billy Villork, thank you so much for joining us. See you next season. Trigger Warning, hosted by Dalen Ardicho and how to meet Hammer Clesh, is a Pride House media production and produced by Josh Rosensweig. Please note the views reflected in this podcast do not represent the views of Red Eye, the Ice Palace, or any of its subsidiaries. And any reference to Scat, Shrimping, Upper Duckers, Skank, Smashbating, Rump Riding, Wolfbagging, Cleveland Steamers, Jigglypuffing, Rusty Trombones, Cosby Sweaters, Mexican Pancakes, and Alabama Hot Pockets are the views of Mr. Ardicho, Mr. Clesh, and his listeners, not the establishment. If you are offended, please seek immediate psychiatric attention.

SPEAKER_02 48:51

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. And while you're there, leave us a rating and review. It really helps others discover the show. And if you didn't enjoy this episode, don't tell anyone. Stay connected and join the conversation by following us on Trigger Warning Podcast. And you can send us your questions or hate mail to triggered at triggerwarning.com.