Cockney & Son
Cockney & Son: Two Generations, One London is what happens when I sit down with my straight-talking, old-school Londoner dad to try and make sense of the world we’re living in today.
From parenting and politics to prices and pronouns, nothing’s off-limits — and trust me, nothing gets sugar-coated. We see life through two very different lenses, but it’s all grounded in laughs, honest opinions, and the kind of unfiltered banter only a father and son can get away with.
Whether you remember phone boxes or need subtitles when he starts chatting, this one’s for you.
Cockney & Son
Get Out Dad, Zebra Not Crossing & Morning Rat Fans
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After Richard somehow turned a nice family day out into a 40 mile ramble through Hastings, SATs week stress, birthday chaos, and me completely failing at time management… Episode 14 is a slightly unhinged one.
This week on Cockney & Son:
• Bit of a Natter
The aftermath of the “short walk” that nearly finished us off, SATs stress, and surviving another busy week
• Adam & Eve It
Zebra crossings… why does nobody stop anymore?
• Say It Like Steve
Politics, pavement works taking 120 days, and why everyone just needs to slow down a bit
• Bleedin’ Dad Jokes
Questionable jokes, terrible punchlines, and chaos as always
Real life, random opinions, and complete nonsense. Exactly how we like it.
If your family weekends somehow always end in exhaustion… this one’s for you.
🎧 Cockney & Son: Two Generations, One London
New episodes every week – unfiltered chat, real opinions, and a proper bit of banter between father and son.
Got a question or topic you want my dad’s take on?
Send it over on Instagram: @twodadsinlondon
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Cockney and son, now don't be daft. We've got proper opinions and plenty of graft. Old school chat with the podcast twist. So stick the kettle on you, don't wanna miss.
SPEAKER_01Cockney and son, two generations who in London. Cool Blimey, Governor.
SPEAKER_02Hello everyone, and welcome back to Cockney and Sun episode 14. Now this is gonna be a little bit of a short and sweet one, because I've not been great at time management. I've not been prepared, so we're sort of gonna wing it, okay? Today, me and Richard have been all the way to Kingston to an event, rush back, that's how committed I am to Cockney and Sun podcast.
SPEAKER_00Didn't you have a girl to avoid it the other day about time?
SPEAKER_02Exactly. Who knows? We don't even know what time it is in this house. But let's get into it with a little bit of this.
SPEAKER_01Gore Blimey Governor, it's now time for a bit of a nutter.
SPEAKER_02So the reason I feel I'm a bit discombobulated, that's a big word for you.
SPEAKER_00That's a big word, that is.
SPEAKER_02It's because this weekend Richard took us on a 40-mile ramble.
SPEAKER_00Short one, was it?
SPEAKER_02Yeah. So we went, the plan was we was gonna go to Hastings. Oh yeah. A good old seaside like seaside trip. I'm thinking ice cream, maybe amusements. No. We get this lift that didn't work. This is like this lift that goes up the cliff.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it goes up the cliff.
SPEAKER_02Go to the top of it. We're just gonna walk down a little bit. Hour and forty minutes later, we get to some little village in Hastings. I don't even think we were in Hastings anymore. Margate, we ended up in. You weren't in Ryber, yeah? I have no idea. And then the kids were alright. Actually, the girlie was a trooper, she she got all the way there. The boy moaned a little bit, but we get to this like little town and we decide what we'll do is we'll get an Uber back. Okay. Yeah. I was surprised that they did Ubers in Hastings. That was a little bit of knowledge. And there was no Ubers that would take dogs, because obviously we had Belle with us. Oh okay. So then we found the local bus and Richard was tracking it on the app saying, right, two minutes, it'll be it'll be here. Looking on the app, it went past us. It must have been a ghost bus. Nothing was there. So then the Uber lady came, but obviously this was not a pet one. So then Richard asked her if we could you know take Bell into the thing, and she agreed. And I was very surprised because Belle Belle did do us proud, she was very good. The woman, so the Bell's on my lap, I'm sat in the middle, she turns around, and I'm thinking, oh my god, she's just gonna put her hand out and stroke Bell and Bell was gonna bite her hand off. But Bell was actually really, really good. So um I feel like that started the week off. Everyone's a bit tired, it's SATS week.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, we're all on it.
SPEAKER_02It's stress week. So that's my busy life. Please try and top that. What we've been up to.
SPEAKER_00Not very much. Yeah, quite one, really. What is Saturday? No, I don't know. I watched uh watched oh I watched the Chelsea Liverpool game in the morning. Yeah, boring. No, it wasn't good. Actually, yeah, it wasn't a bad game. Yeah. Then I'll out and about. What else should I do? Sunday didn't do much. No, I've been quite chilled. A nice chill one, actually. Well I'm glad you're chilled. Yeah. I'm chilled.
SPEAKER_02You have to get chilled, didn't you? You don't can't you know. I've had a double espresso today. I've been in a big washing machine. I've been riding a boat.
SPEAKER_00You know, when you're popular like that, you know. You've got to take it while you can.
SPEAKER_02So yeah, this week on top of this, obviously, birthdays is the boy's birthday actually when this is released. Yes. He's gonna be eleven. That's crazy, isn't it? It is. Do you remember when you met him for the first time and he was like a little cannonball? He was so heavy. A little dumpling, wasn't he? Yeah. Couldn't put jeans on him. No. Till he was about six. No, he was uh he was it's a big big old chunk. He was a little dumbbell. It's just gone quick though, isn't it?
SPEAKER_00Well it has, yeah, of course. Him being eleven, it's crazy. Because I mean when you think that and and also when you look back at the things that you know, the memories and that it does go quick. You know, when you look at the photos as well, yeah. Don't have to zoom out anymore to take a picture.
SPEAKER_02So yeah, so we've had sats, we've had recovery. And you got that cotton accent out of him. Yeah, bite and round. Yeah, he talked quite well now. Don't do that. Yeah, I think Richard knew what he was doing because what he had said to the girly while she was so good at walking was we'll get ice cream from the shop. So the poor thing ended up on this hill. Okay, nothing not a shopping sight. No, then he checked the local shop and it shut 30 minutes before we got there. So bit of a poor one from Richard. But um Hastings was really lovely, and it was it was really lovely weather, it was boiling hot. Although it was a lot, it was fun, and I'm glad that we did it. We filled our day.
SPEAKER_00And you were naked while the time you got back.
SPEAKER_02I'm still naked, I'm still recovering. Does like a night out for me now? Yeah, as I say, SATS week. Today is his the hardest day, I think, is like his double maths one, but he's been doing alright. So it's pretty much yeah, stressful, stressful. I'm looking forward. Actually, once I get back into it, feeling not so stressed, they've only got one more week. Yeah, yes, right. And then they're off for a week.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, off for a week, yeah. Five weeks gone.
SPEAKER_02The amount of things I put on my list of what I'm gonna do whilst they're at school this term, and I do none of them.
SPEAKER_00Now about quality as well, isn't it?
SPEAKER_02So you've been up to nothing. You've got absolutely you've got absolutely nothing to add to this section of the podcast.
SPEAKER_00Nothing exciting, you know.
SPEAKER_02I've been out and about out of bat in our uh watch Chelsea, you know when we're out of bet.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I was yeah.
SPEAKER_02Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Cockney and Sand. We'll see you next week.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Some weeks you have to have, you know, some weeks you have to have like like chill one, innit? Hold bit of news.
SPEAKER_02The gas man actually turned up. Did he? Yeah. What did he what was his excuse for not texting or did you not ask him?
SPEAKER_00But it was I I don't know if I should say, but he was a little Chinese bloke. Right. Right. And I'm not saying now I'm not saying like he was small, but he had to push his, he had to sit himself up onto the workshop so he could reach the meter in the cabin.
SPEAKER_02So the anything you can add to the podcast I'm gonna have to edit out. So what I'm taking from this is I'm you're enjoying retirement and it's very slow paced, and you don't really have to worry about anything. Me, I'm running. Well, you know, I was in your shoes, wasn't it? Empire.
SPEAKER_00I've been retired on the 11th, been retired two years.
SPEAKER_02Wow. Yes, it's uh lovely feeling. Do you know actually, what do you do what someone said to me today, a couple of people I haven't seen for a while? Oh, you look you look younger than the last time I seen. Really? How much do you pay them? Tenor each. I don't know what they wanted me to do, reshare them or something. Oh well. Well that well, that was a very, very interesting bit of an attack what you've been up to. So what you need to do next week is go out and get yourself into it. Well I'm out Friday. I'm out Friday. Go out and get yourself into situations that actually are exciting to talk about.
SPEAKER_00I'll be out Friday with my old mate.
SPEAKER_02Tony. Yeah. Same place. Most probably. Go do something. This week your plan Well, Sunday, I mean yeah. Go out. You live in central London. Yeah. There's everything you tell me there's nothing to do in London. Well, funeral sites, right? Move out then, go live on a farm. Oh, when you but when you live places like that, you don't go to the site. I mean at Dunimal. Yeah, but there's other stuff to do in London apart from looking at the sites. Yes, I know. There's stuff going on. You've done everything, you've done everything that you could possibly do in London. Well, I want to do.
SPEAKER_00Oh, I'm going to a thing on Saturday. Too late now. I'll go out to a show on Saturday.
SPEAKER_02What show?
SPEAKER_00Some uh mysterious uh what do they call it? You know uh mysterious you don't know what it is. Well sound mysterious, yeah. It's uh like a mystery crime thing. Mystery drama? Yeah, it's on the it's on stage, yeah, little play. It's a little play in in uh you know amateur society thing. Oh. And another amateur. Yeah, this one's in uh not Hailing Island, I guess. No, no, no, it's in uh it's near Ripley.
SPEAKER_02Alright, next week then you can give us your review of this amateur dramatic crime drama.
SPEAKER_00It's supposed to be uh audience participation as well.
SPEAKER_02Well, they might think you're the in the crime. In the audience, if you see some people whispering and pointing at you, they go, he's definitely part of it. He's definitely part of it. Anyway, moving on to a little bit of a moan, and I've got a good one this week.
SPEAKER_01I don't believe it! Would you? I can't believe it. I don't believe it.
SPEAKER_02My moan is could be just my experience of them late lately. Lately. So I'm gonna moan about zebra crossings because I feel like nowadays drivers have now decided that they're optional. Do you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, but also I know what you mean, but also pedestrians these days seem to think they can just walk straight out. Yeah. And you're meant to stop. But look it used to be you waited till the car actually stopped, then you crossed.
SPEAKER_02No, but what I'm saying is, I where I have to take Bell for Bell for a thingy, I have to cross one every single day. Yeah. And I could sometimes wait three cars before someone stops. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_02And that's that's not the rule. No. The rule is someone's on that stop. Yeah. And it's very obvious. So why is that? Yeah, I know. Why is it becoming la like lap?
SPEAKER_00People can't be bothered, can they? They're just in a rush all the time, aren't they? Yeah. It's like you can you could get to a a junction or a side turning ready to put out, and many cars will go past before they someone will let you out.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00I mean, but but I mean I know it's but also the them possessions are you know quite dangerous because sometimes they come on your blind side. Yeah. Well, that's their own fault if they get. And the worst one is when they walk across slowly and then instead of walking straight, they go left or right, like diagonal, and you're thinking, really.
SPEAKER_02I don't know why I do this, because I don't have to do it. But to be even polite and and and and a bit respectful to the drivers, I don't know where they're going. I do a little fast walk or a little a little jog where you're like not quite there, but I'm over. Because I really hope, and I always think and I think to myself, a few seconds after that go, I wonder if they appreciated that I did a little run to get across faster. Yeah. But but yeah, I don't know what it is. I I do think that a lot of people need refresher courses. No, I think it's just that not you, not like those speed courses you go on a lot. I mean like refreshes.
SPEAKER_00No, I just think it's like the the way it is at the moment, everyone just rushing around. So just for some reason, like you get put you like the other night I was going home and it might have been from me last week. And you're going along 20 mile an hour. Yeah. Right? And then someone overtook me. Well, on the other side of the road, yeah, overtook me, but then got caught in the lights. What's the point of that? I think And then when we pulled away from the lights, the cars in front of him running around 20, so what's he gained?
SPEAKER_02But I can understand what you were saying, actually, from a driver's point of view. If someone's at a crossing and you don't have to stop, because there's a lot of crossings that you don't have to stop.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02So that's down to your own personal am I going to be a nice driver or am I going to be, you know, an arsehole? But I tend to stop quite a lot. If it's kids or elderly, some people just why? Why can't you just stop?
SPEAKER_00Well, it's one the other week there was uh a woman with a with a push chair and a little kid, and they was on one of them little islands. Yeah. The car was going past. I I stopped at her across. Yeah. Because you know, it's games just there, you know, it's not very wide, are they? No. And I I stopped at them cross, and you think, well, you know, why why not slow down?
SPEAKER_02Because the only way that I could say there's a difference, and it's got nothing to do with separate cross-ins, yeah. But what you don't see a lot is the lollipop people. Yeah. Remember obviously they used to be the person, stop the traffic. Yeah. Don't see that anymore, do you? Yeah. Safety through thing. You do see them. I don't see them.
SPEAKER_00We don't have them here. You don't have them out in this in no? We have them. There's one. When you when I drive here, if I come through just before you get to Peckham, there's actually three on the same three, there's three crossings, and there's three of them.
SPEAKER_02Sorry about that. You just said that it made me flinch to lock my door. What's that?
SPEAKER_00Peckham?
SPEAKER_02Oh sorry, making me do it again.
SPEAKER_00Oh, it's up in the common area.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Yeah. They say please now when they rubber. Of course, there's other places that that happens. You're not just saying that about Peckham. No. That was for entertainment value, wasn't it? Thank you for pushing that blade into my chest. What do you do as a driver then if you stop at let Zebra Cross in and you let someone cross and they don't say Thanks. No, nothing. Do you not say anything? Oh. You're welcome. Oh no, I don't want to say it. I want to say welcome. How dare you? That's the point.
SPEAKER_00No point of getting all up upset about it.
SPEAKER_02No. And obviously normally we compare stuff for when you were younger, but I feel like even I'm able to do this now. Is that if you if you've ever driving down a road where maybe school's out, those kids just walk so slow. Of course. And they don't even wait for you. They just expect you to stop and then they walk up.
SPEAKER_00Well you get the ones. You get the ones that are just on their phones and they just walk straight out as well. Or you get the ones not done even there's not even a crossing. No. And across the road, you chat you put your head out the window and say, Oh, it's a zebra crossing up there. Yeah. And they say, Well, I hope you're having better up than I am.
SPEAKER_02Well, I that's what I mean. I don't think a lot of people realise. No, I don't think. Because there's so many different things now. Is if a kid sees you crossing a road where you don't you you cross when it's safe, then you've got the green man, red man one, then you've got a zebra crossing. So unless these kids are being taught. Well, they don't do good road safety anymore at schools, do they? I'm sure they do. Oh, do they? Do they do them at your school? I can't remember what my school has in when I went. The school that they go to. I think they've done roads, they have done road safety.
SPEAKER_00They come in with their own little zebra crossing and someone used to do all the what's names. I don't think they've built that anymore because when you think of the way some of these people cross the roads, they do. I'll tell you what's bad as well, is like in in Lupus Street, Pimlico, you've got the school there, and when the school's finish, yeah, it's it's on Loopers Street, and then right across the road is a bus stop.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00So some kids when they come out, they see the the C10 or the 360 and run across the road. Yeah. And I've seen it about three or four times where they nearly got knocked down. By you. Not by me.
SPEAKER_02Teaching you a lesson, son. Dish. But you know they just they see the bus and they just run. Yeah. Well, I feel like if we can do any good with this podcast is to just educate and spread awareness, which is if you're listening and you are a driver who doesn't stop at a zebra cross in, yeah, think about it. Yeah. What kind of human are you? You know the rules, surely. Yeah. Yeah? If you listen to this podcast, you must be at least 60.
SPEAKER_00But everyone's in a rush these days, and they just want to get.
SPEAKER_02Slow down. Just what do you say? Take it easy.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, take it down.
SPEAKER_02Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it, easy. Don't worry, slow down easier. You're still gonna get where you're gonna get it. Leave earlier.
SPEAKER_00You're still gonna get where you're gonna get.
SPEAKER_02And stop at those reprecussions because you know.
SPEAKER_00Well, I get stopped at every satellite, anyway.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. That's because you have a sensor in your car.
SPEAKER_00I must have. I must have I must have I must have stopped at every satellite in London. Yeah. Well, you've got no rush. That's it, then you're pointing no rushing.
SPEAKER_01No rushing. Don't sugarcoat it. Sometimes in life, you just gotta say it like Steve.
SPEAKER_02So obviously, like I said at the beginning, that I haven't really been as prepared for this podcast. You haven't. So I haven't got a say it like Steve. Oh no. Okay. So is there anything that you on off the top of your head want to add? No, it's just we have we could You could mention something about politics.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, the thing in the news at the moment is the politics, isn't it? You know, Mr. Starmer, he got well slaughtered. Yeah. And he's still hanging on there, he still wants to even know if all his own staff would tell him to go.
SPEAKER_02He just doesn't want to leave. It's like last orders and don't want to.
SPEAKER_00He said the other day he said he wants to run for at least ten years, but that's never gonna happen, is it? I guess maybe maybe the people are just telling him lies. Yeah, most probably, yeah. But you know, when your own backbenches are telling you like today, they're sort of sit on the news there, like eighty eighty MPs are telling him to quit. Yeah, you know, you've got to tell you hint something.
SPEAKER_02It would be a bit like you've got to have a strong like backbone. Well, yeah. The whole country is telling you something wrong with you. It's basically telling you you're rubbish. Yeah. Plus your own people are telling you that you're rubbish and to still stay.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah. But there's one there's one bit they showed you a whole bit of news of him when Boris Johnson was in and he said that he was going on about some subject and he goes and that you know he's done that, he should resign. Yeah, he's done exactly the same. Yeah. And he's still hang he's still hanging on. So obviously Richard did the elections. I had I had two parties knock on my door that same night.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Not the gas man.
SPEAKER_00No, not the gas man. That's what uh yeah. Are you have you voted yet? Oh no. Why not? Why have you voted? Are you gonna vote? Yeah, supposed to vote, mate. You went, it went to a couple of weeks ago. Can I ask you no? They said, well, just say the colour. I'm going, no. It's a private vote, isn't it?
SPEAKER_02It should have gone red and yellow and pink and blue.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I voted. Obviously, I can't disclose what I because um Labour lost Westminster.
SPEAKER_00Conservatives took it back.
SPEAKER_02We are Albora is conservative. Yeah, pretty much. So yeah, that's politics. And the only other thing I want to add, because I don't know if people are aware, because I haven't really seen it a lot on the news, and I'm not trying to panic anyone, but keep your eye on this Hanna virus. Oh, yeah, they're trying to do another the virus from the cruise. Yeah, they're trying to do another cruise. Which turns out there's a whole when they say cruise, actually it was an explorer boat. So everyone on there was come sort of traveler explorer. Done by rats this time, wasn't it? So basically what happened was quote me if I'm wrong, this is for entertainment purposes. Two explorers all went on an excursion to I don't know why you would do this, there must be more there. And it was like, I don't know if it was a famous like landfill, it was something to do with a landfill, yeah. And they obviously how this is spread is obviously if you step on rat feces and then that that bacteria or whatever becomes airborne or whatever, but apparently this strain of this hanavirus is actually you're able to transmit it.
SPEAKER_00Really?
SPEAKER_02So I don't know if they're like playing it down. And then I said to Richard, Remember the other week when you took that out of the garden, there was a a mouse and you were saying it was a rat. And then he was like, No, stop, stop. And I was like, I don't know about you, but I do feel like I want to eat cheese a bit more at the minute.
SPEAKER_00It's a bit fun, isn't it? Now he's lost, now he's lost the uh uh thing, is there another lockdown, is there?
SPEAKER_02Well, that's what I'm saying, don't fall down the rabbit hole. But a lot of a lot of conspiracy theories on this roll and rat virus, he says morning rat things. I know, but in a serious note, obviously people have been in RIP'd from it. Yes. So, you know, don't touch rats.
SPEAKER_00No, yeah.
SPEAKER_02But you know what actually, and another thing, the quarantine time, you know, like obviously when you COVID was ten days. Yeah. It's 45 days. 45 days. So if you see me rubbing a rat on my face, so 45 days. 45 days.
SPEAKER_00That's what I said.
SPEAKER_02But it's also it's also again, not trying to panic anyone if you don't even know what I'm talking about, but it's a 40 to 50 percent rate if you get it. Another one. Okay, so then what vaccine you got for this? COVID 2.0, no. There's no there's no cure for it. There's no cure for it.
SPEAKER_00No, no, no.
SPEAKER_02So get ready. So get ready for lockdown 2.0. Oh no. I mean if it weren't for the kids, I'd probably enjoy it. It's ridiculous, isn't it?
SPEAKER_00It's like 45 days. Yeah. It's like I've got a letter put through my door, they're saying they're they're there's a this road just round the corner to me, they're gonna do the pavement stones. Yeah. 120 days to do two sides. Parking permits is gone. Yeah. So you you're paying good money to park your car. You can't park your car later now. What? And you're thinking, well, there's not many people walk around here. What why are they doing the pavement stones?
SPEAKER_02Only you could go from potentially terrible outbreak to moaning about pavement stones taking 120 days. Well, it is, it seems a lot, a long time to do a few pavement stones. Alright, well, you get out there and help them, you've got nothing to do. Okay. That could be a good story. How many pavestones is that an hour? You can go stand. I know what you could do. You could go over to the builders. I'll do drawing motion. No, and just start talking to them. I better get done real quick. Because it'll be like, come on, guys, because Well, how long's it take?
SPEAKER_00I don't know, I ain't a builder. I know, but you're taking up the pavement stones, put the new stones down, put new ones. How long? China would take twenty minutes.
SPEAKER_02Under twenty days. China. And it's not China, it was Japan. When you said all that stuff, it was Japan. That's like four months. Anyway. Now that we've scared everyone. Sometimes I'm not gonna get home and I ain't gonna get party space. So the this podcast is gonna cause Yeah panic. Toilet roll and water. Oh no. And geez. So it says morning rep. No, it says it's so funny. Avoid contact with rodents.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. And plug up any holes in your house. But what I'm saying is, these rats, this is what it does to me about this. There's always been rats, yeah? Yeah. Why are these rats now Exactly? Just scaremongering, yeah. They never virus. Well no.
SPEAKER_00They knock on the door, let me in. Yeah. Well, I mean, what about uh, you know, they used to some they used to some come up for your toilet and all that nice.
SPEAKER_02Thank God we don't live there anymore. Yeah. He'd be going crazy. But uh as you say, you know, all I'm saying is a lot there's a website, don't go searching for it. I ain't gonna search for it, no. It's a it's a live website that shows you suspected Hannah virus.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, but all the people that was on that cruise, how many picked that? I think four. Four out of the whole couple.
SPEAKER_02But quite a lot have got it. But so what are they doing? They're just in their Because what happened was that this happened, and then they left so people left the cruise, yeah, then got on an aeroplane, and then people on the that those airplanes have now got symptoms. So that's what I'm saying is. What's the symptoms? Kind of like COVID, but you run around on all fours and stuff like that.
SPEAKER_00So you've got to stay in so there's nothing you can take, but you've got to stay indoors for 45 days.
SPEAKER_02Well and then what happens to it? It comes on the body. No, you stay no, the 45 days is to not spread it. Doesn't mean you're gonna survive.
SPEAKER_00Oh right. So what after 45 days If you're alive, it's and you've and you survived it. What happens then? Well then you're you're just like you get over it. So your body just fights the virus then? Well, I don't know.
SPEAKER_02Because you've not taken anything for it. Well, you know who? The world Who?
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. I like some of those songs. They've been no, they the World Health Organization, yeah. They have made an announcement to say that it's not they're not worried about it, but they've still made an announcement about it. So anyway, just keep an eye on it. Anyway, moving on from potential lockdown number two. I'm gonna make you laugh.
SPEAKER_00You don't get really um you can't move in.
SPEAKER_02You don't get really vaccinated now, Pemnica. Oh no, they're posh ones. Yes. They go, cheese, have you got any feta? Any feta or google So you can move in if you want, if there's a lockdown. Okay. Right, time to make you laugh.
SPEAKER_01Get ready to laugh. It's now time for the bleeding dad joke.
SPEAKER_00Joke number one. Well, while you're at it, it's breaking news on the on the on the telly there. Yeah. Company that makes that gender game. Yeah. Jen Jenga. Gender collapsed. What's it called? Gender, it's collapsed.
SPEAKER_02Jenga. Jenga, it's collapsed. Alright. Well, you need to make sure next time that you pronounce the game. That was quite good, yeah. How do you organise a space themed party? No idea. You plan it.
SPEAKER_00Do you get that? Yeah. Well that's a good one before. Okay. You want to go again? Yeah. Yes. Yeah. I went out with this girl once, right? Yeah. And uh well I broke out of her once after that, because she kept taking me to like swimming on dangerous beaches. Yeah. There's too many red flags.
SPEAKER_02I bought some shoes from a drug dealer the other day. Why laughing? I'm gonna start again now. I bought some shoes from a drug dealer the other day. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all week. That's a good one. I've got a bonus joke. Oh, you have? Yeah. Marriage is now basically just asking each other what's for dinner until one of you dies. Oh. I knew you had to get a bonus. I don't realise it printed out. Yeah, yeah. At our age, this is old people talking. An old person. Yeah. At our age, a dirty weekend just means forgetting to take the bins out. Even well's collapsed. But you don't know what that is because your bins get collected three times a day in Westminster. Yes, it does. But there's no money for anything else. But Westminster gets bin pickups three times a day. And I have to wait once every two weeks.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, but what what you don't realise is that they're the big bins. Yeah. So it's easier for them and Lurie to drive around and pick one of them up than to do individual.
SPEAKER_02Everyone in now in your road don't want bins outside their house on their street. But imagine like how do they have the budget for that, Westminster?
SPEAKER_00Because most of you pay a lot of council tax.
SPEAKER_02Well, that is it. For number four. Now, maybe that will be one of the best episodes we've done for a while, maybe not. But thanks for listening to Cockney Sun, series two, episode 14. So hello, Bill. If you've enjoyed this episode, make sure you follow the podcast and leave us a review. A review. You went up. I've got hang over.
SPEAKER_00I left that was blown around site.
SPEAKER_02Nice to see you. See you. Make sure you leave a review. Everyone. Nina, leave a review. Everyone who listens to the podcast, yeah, because we know how much it gets downloaded. Yeah. Just take the extra bit of time to go and review it. Yeah. Okay. Don't take long. Well, you're there, you might as well. You I mean, you've already paying for the prescription to whatever streaming service you use. Yeah, of course. I'm not asking you to pay for anything. Oh, that's right. No. Just go and review it. Yeah. You can review it, Brucey. We will be back next Friday for more nonsense, more moaning from you. So you better get somewhere and experience something that one is interesting for a bit of an atta, two, something you want to moan about. Yeah? Okay. Because I feel like you're getting very unprepared at the minute. I feel like I'm carrying the podcast. I just want to say on a separate note, as it is Friday, the 15th of May, happy birthday. I now have an 11-year-old son. Going on about 30. Yeah. Yes. Crazy. It's got a little bit of swagger. Yeah. And that I'll see you on Sunday for the really big family party. Yes. And it's going to rain, which means everyone's going to be inside. Are you going to get us bouncer castles inside? I'm not getting a bouncer castle now. The kids are just all the kids are just going to be in the house. So as you can tell. No, I get one inside. No, no. As you can tell. How excited I am that every single kid.
SPEAKER_00Well, why not? Why can't I just play outside in the wet?
SPEAKER_02Like we used to. I might just put his PlayStation in the shed at the back. It's got electric in it.
SPEAKER_00They're not made of sugar out of these kids. Sure they can play out in a bit of run.
SPEAKER_02I just don't know why I agree to these things. Right. We'll see you next week for episode 15. Yeah. And ratty McGrath. Good morning, Rat Rat. That's it for this week's Cockney and Sun. If you had a laugh, hit follow or subscribe, whatever button's in front of you. Leave us a review if you're feeling fancy, and don't forget to share with someone who loves a bit of a moan. We're on Instagram and TikTok at Cockney and Sun, so come say hello. Thanks again if you've made it this far. And until next time, cheers from the old man and the not so young one.