Series 2 Final Episode

We’ve made it… the final episode of Series 2!

After 20 episodes of laughs, debates, moans and questionable dad jokes, Lew and Steve wrap up another brilliant series before taking a well-earned summer break.

This week they’re reflecting on a huge family milestone as the boy finishes primary school and prepares for secondary school, sharing memories from the past seven years and talking about how quickly childhood seems to fly by.

Steve gives his thoughts on making family memories without spending a fortune, while Lew returns from a trip to Harrods wondering who on earth spends £154 on a baby grow.

Plus, they chat about UK holidays versus holidays abroad, why the best memories often come from the unexpected moments, and, of course, finish Series 2 with one last round of Bleedin’ Dad Jokes.

Thank you to everyone who has listened, watched and supported Cockney & Son throughout Series 2. Have a fantastic summer, make plenty of family memories, and we’ll see you soon for Series 3!

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Cockney and son, now don't be daft. We've got proper opinions and plenty of graft. Old school chat with the podcast twist. So stick the kettle on you don't wanna miss.

SPEAKER_00 0:14

Cockney and son, two generations who won London. Cool Blimey, Governor.

SPEAKER_01 0:20

Hello everyone, and welcome back to Cockney and Son. Well, we've made it. This is officially the final episode of series two before we head off for our summer break. We only started this series back in February, and somehow we're already here. Twenty episodes later, we've laughed, debated, put the worlds to right, and more often than not, that has upset at least one generation every single week.

SPEAKER_03 0:44

Yes, yeah, yeah, well.

SPEAKER_01 0:45

The schools have finally broken up, the six-week summer holidays are here, and for a lot of families, that's either the most exciting time of the year or the moment you realise how expensive keeping children entertained can be. Whatever you got planned over the next few weeks, thanks for choosing to spend part of your week with us throughout series two. Right then, let's finish the series off in style.

SPEAKER_00 1:07

Gore Blimey Governor, it's now time for a bit of a natter.

SPEAKER_01 1:13

Okay, so for bit of a natter, I thought we would just keep it close to home. Yeah. It's the end of an era. It is. The boy is finishing primary school. He's now. The episode has gone live on Friday, and that is his final day. He's got a few hours counting down the hours. Seven years later.

SPEAKER_02 1:33

Yeah, that's uh he's achieved a lot in those seven years. And just just like that. Just like that, he's on seven years. He'll have a good summer and then it all starts. It all starts the big school. Yeah, the big world. Starts giving it a lip.

SPEAKER_01 1:46

So you might know what's hitting him. Seven years has gone quick, I would say. I think so, yeah. Although I can it I can visualize every single thing that sort of like happened to make it not feel like it's gone quick. Of course, you must remember certain uh certain years, yeah, certainly nursery, didn't he? He went to nursery before and then he went to the school. So he's been at that school from nursery, yeah, reception, then then he's gone all the way through.

SPEAKER_02 2:13

Yeah, because like you know, back in the day, you I don't think there was nurseries. You just went straight, yeah, you were in your your ass. The warehouse. And you just and then you just went straight to the to the school at five.

SPEAKER_01 2:25

So this week, so far, although this obviously is gonna go live on Friday, we've had the school performance. Yeah, he was mad at all. Yeah, I saw the I saw the clips, it's look good, he's done done well. He done well, he was very good. Yeah, and then he had his school disco, which I did mention on Two Dads in London. There was a sweet scenario where his girlfriend, his ex, though, yeah, basically they did they they came to a mature decision to break up before they finished school because they're gonna go off to different secondary schools, and then they decided to go to the disco as friends, and then so he wanted like a navy outfit, and when we got there, she she was in his like navy dress and she had her nails done, and they looked very cute.

SPEAKER_02 3:15

Oh, that's good.

SPEAKER_01 3:16

It's a great memory. In a few years' time, they might meet up again. It's just great to have those memories. So when he's older, they say that do you remember this?

SPEAKER_02 3:22

I mean, they've done uh they like the school, even had like the red carpet and the the red carpet, it's more like a runner from someone's whole wedding.

SPEAKER_01 3:30

It looks, it looks like and they had the like the velvet straps, things. He loved it. Yeah, good. He he came back, he came out hyper. I've had like five cotton candy. Oh my god, this I did this, and then I was looking at Rich going, this kid can't ever go on a lad's holiday. Like he he literally, even walking back, he was singing Wonder Wall, and like his friend was walking back normally, and he's like that, yeah, with his phone out blaring in it. Oh right. I'm going, he wants the after party. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:03

Why not? He wanted the night to continue.

SPEAKER_01 4:05

So I remember my last. I actually do, I don't know if I remember it because I've still got photos from my year six disco. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm glad that he's got that because I think when I look at those, I go, Oh, yeah, yeah, cool. Yeah, yeah. That's cute.

SPEAKER_02 4:20

It's nice because, like, you know, you've got all them pictures and videos and that. I mean, I've got loads of stuff throughout the the years he's been there. You know, when you think back that, you know, all we all we had was pip photos, yeah. And now you've got your videos and all that to look back, it's good. Smart. Wait for it to develop.

SPEAKER_01 4:38

Yeah. Send it off to boots, comes back in about three weeks. Yeah. But I think the most so far I've been fine with it. Yeah. There's nothing that's made me, you know, been an emotional wreck. But tomorrow, Thursday, just it is their Lever's assembly, and I know that there's photos that have been sent in from each kid. Okay. And they're singing, and I don't really know what's going to happen. So it's going to last full or something. Yeah, I don't know if I should set the back for his last.

SPEAKER_02 5:07

Don't start wailing, will you?

SPEAKER_01 5:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:10

You'll just get one parent, don't you?

SPEAKER_01 5:12

Do you always go on the stage?

SPEAKER_02 5:13

No, stay away. You always get one parent that starts wailing.

SPEAKER_01 5:16

Yeah. But what advice would I give to somebody listening whose kid is about to start primary school? I would say, don't join the WhatsApp groups.

SPEAKER_03 5:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:26

No, I'm joking. No, because everyone gets the same email emails, don't they? Of course you do, yeah. No, it's got it has gone quick. And I think for me, because obviously I'm still going to be at the school because the day because you haven't lived at that, you got another three years, yeah. I've got another three years there. So I think when that when she finishes, which is ins sounds insane, and not going back to that school because there's a lot of parents who I won't see now. No, that's right, yeah, yeah. Because obviously that their kids have left.

SPEAKER_02 5:52

Okay, so that have they got no brothers and sisters at the school, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:55

But yeah, so end of an era for him. Yeah. And I think you can see he's enjoyed his uh his time there. Yeah, he's done well. Yeah. No, he's not been expelled, he's not been suspended once. No. He's always on time. He's been to all the things, the world book days.

SPEAKER_02 6:13

And they just can carry that into the logical. Yeah. You know?

SPEAKER_01 6:17

So when you won't be allowed to go to any of the events. No. And when it's Well Book Day, you go, No, I'm not dressing up. I'm like, yeah, you're an umpa lumpa. Come here. You must you must get dressed. Come on. But no, but like for me, obviously, it doesn't end because we've still got the girl. She is going on as well. The boy's getting a lot of attention because obviously he's but she's gonna go into year four. Yeah, yeah. That's quite big. That is big, and and she, I mean, she's done well this year as well. Yeah, you can't she's met her new teacher, she loves her new teacher, that's good.

SPEAKER_02 6:49

Oh, that's good. That's a good stuff.

SPEAKER_01 6:50

So I'm excited.

SPEAKER_02 6:50

Yeah, I'm excited for it, but it's they go to summer on these now to you know to let out frustrations and things and excitement.

SPEAKER_01 6:59

Actually, the first week, at the end of next week, I'm actually gonna go and get his uniform. Oh, you too. Yeah, you've got the blazer. Yeah, order it. No, I've got to take it because it's got you measured. Oh, you haven't ordered yet, yeah. Grab it tailored in. Take it off the mannequin under doll in the front. So you know we tell the new kids because the blazer's like the sleeves are dragging. You can't look like that. So I just want to get all that sorted before before we go, really. Yeah, it goes. But anyway, back to the whole thing about it. End of an era, it's crazy that he's gonna be in secondary school. I think you'll love it. Somebody did message me and tell to tell me that secondary school actually goes faster from a parent's point of view than primary school. Oh, really? So he's not involved as much. I think so, yeah. Might be like that. Can I come? Yeah. I might put a uniform on. Oh, you might actually get in. I got that.

SPEAKER_02 7:51

Excuse me, Cher. Yeah. Can I come in? What class? What class am I in, sir? Have you got my timetable?

SPEAKER_01 7:56

I'm sure there's there's gonna be things that annoy me. Like I've I've had to sign up for this food account. Food account? For school dinners, right? Oh, it's all on cards and all that. Do their fingerprint. It's on their fingerprint. It's fingerprint, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:08

What school are you going to say? It's very technical.

SPEAKER_01 8:12

But one of the mums said to me, which I didn't realise, and I don't know if this applies to every single secondary school, but she said it's good because you can tell if they've at or not, because obviously if they haven't bought anything and you've just not sent them in with any food, you'll know if they've eaten to eaten on that.

SPEAKER_02 8:30

They might have just got the food but not eaten it. How would you know?

SPEAKER_01 8:33

Well, no, I mean, okay, we'll buy it buying it. I'll buy it, yeah. But what I'm saying, and also apparently, like say like the break, you went and you bought a cookie. Yeah, when you go for your lunch and then you buy another cookie, it won't let you buy it. Oh, okay. Because it it tracks it in order to add that so it won't let you get another cookie.

SPEAKER_02 8:50

So what happens if you like get a cut on that thing on that phone where you get your I don't know. Okay, I was just asking. Well, they've got your fingerprints in the back. They're still doing the Wall Song. They still have to write out a timetable or that techno now. All the homework is done on an app. So always some kids ain't got a phone or stuff. They won't be going to this school then, would they? No, but it must be in other schools.

SPEAKER_01 9:11

So if you ain't got a phone or what what they say, hi, did your child have a phone? No, it's not welcome at this school. It's got to go down that one to that one. They do it on pen and paper down there.

SPEAKER_02 9:21

Yeah, maybe it's sitting right at your timetable. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:24

And you think everyone you write down that that dreaded word, double maps. I think every kid going to this school has a smartphone. Okay. Yah yeah. It's not, is it? It's not one M, is it? Yah yah. Cannot wait for the first school trip to uh Athens or somewhere. Oh really? How much is that does it wear? They'll go twice. Anyway, so yeah, so that was what bit of an atta was gonna be about today. Just end of an era, isn't it? Yeah, it is. Yeah, and then the Easters, we talk about the Easter bonnets, we've spoken about Christmas, the school, every all the drama, and I'm sure. And he's done his little first trip away as well. And I'm sure there's gonna be things that he'll miss because he'll see his little sister still talking about the school, yeah. Getting the Easter bonnets things, and he's already said, Well, you know, if I'm not if I'm not there or whatever, I could come and like pick her up. He's don't talk like that. And he says, Yo, bruv, yo, bro, if I don't do that yet, but Are you a madma? If I hastily run there, yes, I might say he's already saying he's gonna make cameos. Okay, well, why not? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I said, well, you can pick her up. Do go back to her old school, don't I? Yeah, I said you pick her up then. Yeah, good luck with that.

SPEAKER_03 10:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:36

Anyway, giving some attention on the girly. One thing I can't wait for is as you saw on Instagram, waking her up. Oh, mate. Why is she like just string a bucket of water, bro? Sing it up then. I was singing uh that song. And if I took the sound off that song, we'd go, Meow, meow, meow. Stop it! Oh, really? Get out. Well, like when I call her pirate girl. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:58

Your dad calls me pirate girl. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:00

Your dad. Yeah. We'll see. Obviously, I will talk about anything extra, like how I think it's going to be russ, aren't they?

SPEAKER_02 11:10

When they uh making a scene. When it the time when it comes, they have to go back to school, you know. It's it'd be strange going off for his new school and the girl going to uh primary school. Being the first time they've been apart, will it? Might do some good. Yeah, yeah, might as well.

SPEAKER_01 11:24

But you know, before that we've got our European holiday. Oh, but yeah, of course you have, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Before they come back and slum it. Time for a moan. Even though it's the last one. I've got a moan. Oh wow. Well, you'll probably agree with it. Might be. Let's go.

SPEAKER_00 11:40

Adam and Eve, would you? I can't believe it. Adam and Eve.

SPEAKER_01 11:46

I went to Harrods, right? You went to Harrods? I went to Harrods. I had brunch with your ex-wife. Oh, did you? Yeah. But how was that? It was lovely actually. Was it? Mm-hmm. So yes, how much I paid for. I never had Don Perrion before. Yeah. Champagne. And then I looked to see what it was. I said, Oh, should we have a should we try it? I've never tried it. Apparently, Mum has never had Don Perriel. Don Perrion. Don whatever it is called.

SPEAKER_02 12:11

Normally she not has a light L.

SPEAKER_01 12:13

I said, What your mum, what dad didn't buy you that? So there were dates on it. Don Perriel from the years, obviously. There was a 2015 and a 2017. Yeah. Which were the same price. So I said, let well, 2015 is the year that the boy was born. Yeah. And then two five, but then 2017 was the year I got married. So I was like, we'll go for that. He poured it in and it only went a little bit up. And I'm thinking to myself, absolutely no way. But then he obviously waited for the bubbles to go put it £35. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:43

For for one and I and I doubt, no doubt.

SPEAKER_01 12:46

I have to say, I don't know what if it's Imagine what the bottle must have been. No, it's like, yeah, about 300 quid or whatever. But I have to say, I doubt I would don't think I could tell the difference if you gave me like a $4.99 bottle of Prosecco to that. Yeah, yeah. I don't think unless I had them in front of me and tasted, I probably might do. But it weren't really like I don't know really what I was expecting. It's like there's a there's there's it's like when we was walking around, there was caviar. Oh yeah. Yeah I've never had that. I like seafood, but I haven't had it. But there's certain things that I refuse to try. So later on in life, I still have stuff to look forward to. So you're gonna put caviar somewhere. You're gonna pay the price, aren't you? But I don't think you could go in there doing a weekly shop.

SPEAKER_02 13:35

I should imagine. Not at all.

SPEAKER_01 13:37

Some people obviously do. Yeah. It was lovely. It's quite the only thing I would say about it, it's quite confusing finding your way around. Yeah, but you've got so many entrances, isn't it? You get your map and you're like, Yeah, yeah. It's not like Blue Water where it's yeah, no, no.

SPEAKER_02 13:51

Yeah, they had because they had to uh that's how possible because it that building is actually in Chelsea, setwish three. But they they paid to have a setwish one postcard. Because a lot of the stuff sometimes when I was at one our old sorting office, we used to get a lot of Harrods stuff because it was but our set was free.

SPEAKER_01 14:07

So we used to have a sort of you you were actually meant, you just reminded me that you were mentioned. I was mentioned my mum. She did say that that when we because we got a black cab from Victoria Station to Harrod, she said, Oh, this is where you used to deliver near that area near. Oh what in uh yeah, I used to live by Harrods, yeah, that's right, yeah. I did, yeah. Very posh, they didn't let you in there, did they? Does they live at the back, Middleton? Well set in Harris.

SPEAKER_02 14:31

No, I've never went I've I've only been in about twice. But they they wouldn't mostly let you in. Yeah. Go around the back. I don't know if it's if it's changed now, but yeah, I used to live down that that row where Harris is.

SPEAKER_01 14:44

Well, I understand that there people live a certain way, right? Yeah. Because obviously if you got got the money, of course, yeah, yeah, yeah. But so that my moan is not really um it is a moan because it's just like it's more of a moan that's like, I just don't understand it. Like obviously Richard's little sister is pregnant, so before we went in to have the afternoon tea, there was the baby section, and then I saw a baby grow. Like it was cute, it's a little bit more. Yeah, we saw you put it up on the yeah, you asked you how much it was. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:14

I put 120.

SPEAKER_01 15:15

Yeah. No, but it was 154 pounds.

SPEAKER_02 15:18

Yeah, I don't know, because when you put uh guess how much I'll put I'll put I'll go 120, it's gotta be Well, I don't get why would you why would you spend But this is my point is it was naught to three months, right?

SPEAKER_01 15:30

So the baby might only be in it for like a month or two. So you aren't gonna like what you're gonna do with it? And once if you put that on and then the Naby the baby like poos itself. I remember I took Well the girly was probably about six months old, five, five months old, and we went to the National Science Museum with with the boy and when I say I don't know what she did, but it it exploded out of her nappy all in up all in her baby growth. So by the time I had wet used about eight packets of wet wipes, that that wet that baby grow thing, I just put it in the biggest yeah. But imagine if you put that on 154 pounds. It's ridiculous. It's like what does a baby do to need that?

SPEAKER_02 16:21

And that's just one. Yeah, but the baby ain't gonna baby as you get older, says, Oh, I remember that £154.

SPEAKER_01 16:27

So you can only imagine what thing you put me on. The dresses are like so I know that rich people money, but I really obviously don't understand exactly it's just uh in in who picks that up and goes, it's like if I pick something up like a shirt that I'm expecting it to be like 30 quid or whatever, and it's like 19.99, I go, Oh, that's all right. But I can't imagine someone picking up going, oh wow, it's only uh that's only 154.

SPEAKER_02 17:00

I'll get eight of them. But it's like but when you see some of these these shops, like the artly Deposche ones, I mean down in King's Road, they used to have certain different uh shops for kids and that, yeah. And then when you see some of the the c the clothes, you could get just as good in other shops cheaper and look and they look better. I I do you know what I mean? If you've got the money, then it's not gonna like I know, but would you but as you say, what why would you spend £154 on a baby grow?

SPEAKER_01 17:31

I mean, if it was like, let's just say a a jacket, like a cute jacket, I suppose, that uh they're gonna be seen in walking around and you're gonna use it every day or every other day. But a baby grow.

SPEAKER_02 17:47

Yeah, yeah, I know. But uh people like that, don't they? There's uh but then also people may not have a lot of money, but they still go for the designer stuff, don't they?

SPEAKER_01 17:56

No, that's what I'm saying. Obviously, if you but it it if it had like Gucci, then I could understand because at least then people would go, Oh wow, it's a Gucci thing. Like if somebody picked if someone picked their baby up, and look at my baby, I wouldn't go, bloody hell, they're in a hundred and fifty-four baby groups. It was pink. Yeah. I just honestly, the amount of money that they keep people can spend their money on what they want. So then my moan is if you've got the money, great. But the mind, I just can't understand the mindset of going, yeah, I can get that. Yeah. That's really good. Yeah. Because obviously you don't think like that. You probably think 154 is like £1.50, right? Yeah, but as you say, you could go to But they probably won't go.

SPEAKER_02 18:47

If you're going into Harrods to buy Yeah, no, but you could go to other stores, and most probably pick up a similar baby go. Next to nothing.

SPEAKER_01 18:56

And as you say, it's only got a minute about a month. I kind of wish now that I looked at a few more things to say like this was this much. I think I looked at I think uh, you know, like a pano chocolate. Yeah. I think that was like six quid. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:09

And that's ridiculous. And uh you could but they used to do I don't know if they still do it, but they used to do a roast dinner in a box. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:17

About 12 quid, I think, 12 quid.

SPEAKER_02 19:18

I didn't see how much it was, because I actually said Richard liked to roast. Yeah. The food store was supposed to be pretty good, but I mean it's like it's like when people I as you say, what they do with their money, but why would people pay out all this m all that round and a grand for a watch? I understand it.

SPEAKER_01 19:35

So mum got got the ump about something, and I I too right agree. What she was like to leave her. Huh? She's like she was asked to leave her. She was madam, no, basically we was in the chocolate bit, yeah. All different chocolate things are that, and then you know ma you know what macarons are? Yeah. Yeah. Just check in, I don't know if you knew what that was. There was a thing you could pick like I think it was like six for like twenty-five quid or something like that. Ridiculous. But the guy had served the the person before, yeah, and then he was doing something on the till, right? So mum and me were stood at this delicatessen type, you know what I mean? It was just sort of and he didn't look up for I would say good well, actually he didn't look up. So what I'm saying is we were stood there waiting for him to say, you know, what would you what ones would you like, Madam? You know, you're gonna spend 25 quid on this. But he didn't even look up, and we were probably stood there about five minutes, maybe more, and there was and we walked away. And so she was like, Well, that's out of order because you're the customer. So very good customer service, isn't it? For I have a expectation. Not even to go, yeah, it's not like we were hidden, yeah. We were like obviously there, and you could have gone, one moment, one moment, yeah, yeah, be with you in a minute, yeah. One moment, madam and Lou from two days. Is it the right Jeeves? But and I was quite shocked with that, to be fair. Like, just don't say, excuse me, would you be five minutes? But yeah, so they lost that sale.

SPEAKER_02 21:08

I'm sure obviously they won't go out of business, but you know it's just as you say, it's just rude, isn't it? But the uh But I should imagine if you're standing here in like decked out in designer clothes and all that, it would have looked out.

SPEAKER_01 21:18

I don't think you even looked up to notice what what was written. It was obvious we were there, but yeah, that was the only that was the only thing. But um, yeah. This means that you know that's what happens when you go to them sort of stores and all that, isn't it? But and I was saying that the reason I said, I bet you, because it's quite hard to navigate around. I said, but the people that go there and spend a lot of money probably have someone that takes them everywhere so they know where to go.

SPEAKER_02 21:44

They do that, they do that most probably so you you get lost and walk through the different apartments, so you go, oh yeah. Well, I mean, I'll get a four grand watch.

SPEAKER_01 21:51

Because I was like, you know, like there's always in the big stores like that, they always have like a Christmas section, and I did share like Christmas stuff, those little tiny sections, and there was like an after. Noon tea decoration. I thought that might be plans. 30 quid. Yeah. Online. And people bum, didn't I? I was like, if we bought one each at 60 quid for two decorations, I could buy the whole range from BM. Yeah. Look just as good though. Yeah. I'd have changed. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:16

I know, but that's that's that's it.

SPEAKER_01 22:18

It's crazy. Harrods is a lovely, luxurious store. Definitely go there. That's what it's in nights. That's what it's in lights before. I loved it, yeah, like inside like the tiling and all the lights and the restaurant. Obviously, the Georgian restaurant thing was was was amazing. It you know, but I think now when I saw £154, I was like, I mean, I'm like that when I see like 15 grand. No, I like that.

SPEAKER_02 22:42

They used to I don't say still do it, I used to do a Christmas parade. When they would have the the all the elves and all that far Christmas in the all-strawn carriage. I bet that's booked up for years. And now you it that's in the street. And but it but it's always on a it'll always be on a Saturday than when I used to approach that road to do my delivery. Yeah, you can't go down there. What you stop at the Royal Mail? No, you can't do that. I work for the Queen. Yeah, well again, so I've got to do it, you know, I've got to deliver the mail. Yeah. Well, can't you wait? No, I can't wait. Sorry, mate, I'm going through. Yeah. You know, what are you gonna do? Beef. Both my parents have had beef at Herod. No, no, but you you know, he's trying to stop the Royal Mail. Can't do it. Can't do it. I've got letters deliver to Alpha Ed. You know, at one stage, we was we was apart from the emergency services, we were only allowed we was one of the only ones allowed to go through red lights.

SPEAKER_01 23:31

At one stage. But was you the was you the postman that made that decision to change that? What's that? The red lights being pulled over.

SPEAKER_02 23:39

I was good, I was a good romor driver.

SPEAKER_01 23:41

Right. Moving on to a statement.

SPEAKER_00 23:44

Don't sugarcoat it. Sometimes in life, you just gotta say it like Steve.

SPEAKER_01 23:51

I've got a statement for you. Oh what bank statement? No. Yours, yours hits the floor, bang. Yeah. When they put it through, didn't they? All those savings, pensions, pension, savings, bitcoins. I'm out of money, no, no, floor lamps. Right, we need um brand partnerships for the five years. Yeah, come on, hurry up. He's gonna he's living day by day. Yeah. He's on the breadline. Yeah. Send flashbacks from his childhood. Right. Um, so here's today's statement in theme with what's about to occur for most parents and stuff, okay. What's that? Well, we'll get to it when the second family holidays don't need to be abroad to be memorable. No, not at all. Not at all. No, I know that. Yeah, but well, when you think that some like well, some families don't get to go anywhere. That's what I'm saying. So let's so let's like let me break it up for you. Okay, so basically, if family went on holiday to Dubai, because that seems to be quite a popular abroad destination, and then a family went to Hastings caravan park or camping or whatever, that doesn't mean that your camping holiday is not classed as a holiday or it's not going to be memorable.

SPEAKER_02 25:08

Holidays is what you make 'em.

unknown 25:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:10

You know, you can go to, as you say, you can go to one of these like poshy countries and all that.

SPEAKER_01 25:16

Kids might not enjoy it. No, because it's interesting. Gamble. It's interesting because I recently done a brand thing that was all about how kids can find enjoyment or say like they'll go somewhere, and then actually the thing that they like the most, it's like when I went recently to St. James's Park and there was that boat on the chains, and all four kids absolutely loved it. You wouldn't think that's a good thing. So I'm just saying that like anything else in 2026, holidays parents will see online, oh, we're going here.

SPEAKER_03 25:55

Yeah, of course.

SPEAKER_01 25:56

Yeah, we're lying down. Yeah. Like there was a couple on Instagram where the kid was like, I think he might only be like six, and he was so upset crying because he weren't in first class on the airplane because he wanted to lie down or something like that. So, but at the end of the day, like we were saying about Harrods, yeah. You know, if you're able to do that, and then that kid's used to it. If that kid is used to going on an airplane and lying down and having a thing, and of course you put him in the economy.

SPEAKER_02 26:26

Put him in the where the cases go. It's gonna be like kicking off. But yeah. I know, but it's like it's like when I don't know if they still do it at the schools, yeah, especially primary schools, they say, Oh, what did you do, Johnny uh, during the summer of these? Oh, we went to Samsung, we went to Disneyland and all that. And what did you do? Oh, we didn't go nowhere. Which is a bit I don't know if they've stopped that now because uh I don't know. Yeah, that's what they you know, they used to go around each kid, what do you do for summer? And you know, you got to. So what did you do?

SPEAKER_01 26:53

Oh, sorry. They go to the my kids. What did you do? Oh, we all saw it. Obviously, can you watch you?

SPEAKER_02 26:59

Um But that's but you know, I think they stopped it because like so many kids don't you know they don't get to go anywhere.

SPEAKER_01 27:05

So what is your what is the best UK holiday you've ever had? So in your mind, your best so it could be when you were younger than 20s.

SPEAKER_02 27:15

Yeah, one of the best ones is obviously when you first go with your mates, in it. You've spoken about this. So four of us went off to and then Alan's mum. Yeah, yeah, that was one, that was our first mum with the boys. Yeah. That was good that was good. That's that's a memory, isn't it? That's that's a good Sheppy. Yeah, but that was a good one, you know, because it's your first one away with your parents and that, yeah. I got back and everyone moved. But you know Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:38

Did you win the knobby knees competition then?

SPEAKER_02 27:40

I had a good knees then, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:42

One of my favourite holidays with the kids was the was the UK, and it was when we went to Cornwall. When we hired that Volkswagen, yeah, lovely place. It was quite a funny day because the other day we was with we were with the football lot, yeah? Yeah, and then they were saying that they go camping. Then one couple, they go, we go camping, we love it, we go camping. And Rich and Rich was like, Yeah, we went camping, we hired a Volkswagen camavan, and we drove around, we loved it. And making out, I went, Are you not gonna mention that the two nights you booked us luxury hotels, hotel rooms, so you could wash. He was like, I said, Well, yeah, well, if you're gonna go camping, you go there and you go in the shower blocks. Yeah, you know, one one of them that was that famous hotel in New Kee on the cliff. Yeah, that you all right. So we drove. I said, So yeah, we did camp, we did park our Volkswagen in the car park of the luxurious hotel that we went in. So yeah, he he missed that bit. Yeah, I missed that bit, of course. But our friends, Linkate, they've just bought a caravan.

SPEAKER_02 28:46

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 28:47

So I'm I'm being interested in to see how they get on with it because it's something that I've always said to Rich, I wish you'd get something like if you you know the weekends that you have free, you could go out, just go somewhere. Yeah. Because I was actually saying we need to find out where the nearest camping ground is to the Haline Island caravan park, because then they could come down to that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we could use the caravan. But yeah, so holidays are what you make them.

SPEAKER_02 29:11

Oh, yeah, of course it is. And then and I I know that some grandparents always some grandparents you talk to some kids and all their grandparents always seem to have a caravan. Yeah. Which they uh the kids used to go, but yeah, as you as you said, it's what you make and what you do throughout the whole you know, the days. You know, we when we go away, it's just it's full on it.

SPEAKER_01 29:32

Well I I think we always wait, well, we always went pontins. Yeah. And I I always loved those holidays. But I also think the only thing that's with a UK holiday is you can never predict the weather, right? Not back then, no. You know, what's that? What's that black thing in the sky? No, I'm saying it's like when you if you booked Turkey. Yeah, of course. Oh, yeah, you know you're gonna get it, yeah, of course. Whereas if you booked like Great Armour, yeah, you can't Yeah, but you say that.

SPEAKER_02 30:03

I mean, we went to South of France the other year, and that yeah, and it had one of the worst storms ever.

SPEAKER_01 30:10

But they loved that, didn't they? It was. That's where the where where the guy's obsession with storms probably come from. Yeah, but that was exciting. It was exciting, but you know, when you think that you went to South France, but that's my point. Say I'll forget the fact that it's out of the UK. But if you had said, right, you could go to this beach, but there's going to be a storm, yeah, we probably wouldn't have gone because we knew there's a storm. But actually, not knowing the storm, wasn't it? And it was but we was in that shop where and then was that a guy with the goggles riding the bike, wasn't he? Yeah, and then we was in that hotel, and then that taxi driver came back to get us. Yeah, so it's all great stories. That's a memory, yeah. It's all great stories. Because it went that went really black that sky, didn't it? Yeah, because I bet you there's some families that go on like 40 grand holidays and they are just boring.

SPEAKER_02 30:57

Because that was a that was a good layout because we went to the aquapark, didn't we?

SPEAKER_01 31:00

Yeah. And then the boy went on the went on the jet ski thing, didn't he? The girlie did 12 somersaults in the air before smashing into the ground because Richard jumped on that thing. She she spun like a ragdoll.

SPEAKER_02 31:15

I mean, when she came up, finally came up and her glasses all screwed.

SPEAKER_01 31:19

I thought they were gonna be broken.

SPEAKER_02 31:20

And yeah, and I thought, you know, because some kids that they would have gone, mostly got a fear of water, but now she wouldn't just go and get that one after.

SPEAKER_01 31:29

So yeah, like like I say, go social media, oh I'm going here, refining this first class, oh we're going here. You know, that don't mean that they had a great time.

SPEAKER_02 31:37

No, not at all, not at all, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:39

You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 31:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:40

But then again, like sometimes then model is uh that's what the parents want to do, isn't it? And also, how many times have we been to the caravan? When I said that we're gonna go this weekend, the girl is like, I love the caravan. Yeah, do you know what I mean? So she's not going, Oh, I love going on to the villa. Yeah. Do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 31:57

So no, she loves it because you know, she's actually like she she knows where everything is, yeah. Yeah, you know, got her own little bed and all that and stuff and that, you know.

SPEAKER_01 32:06

Outside, under the decking.

SPEAKER_02 32:08

Yeah, and you know, she knows that we're gonna you know go to dinosaur spinning ride. Yeah, going that one. I went past it the other day, but it was it was it's right really weird. I went past the other day and it was like safety risk assessment, was it? Submit it was open. Oil on it at least.

SPEAKER_01 32:23

But uh what ride? Well, you bet that's been in eight eight years. I bet they go in and they go, We've got one can of oil, which ride should we pick?

SPEAKER_02 32:30

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Eight years that's been. But yeah, but she knows that she knows that she will get to go to the fair and the beach and that.

SPEAKER_01 32:38

Have you got to get off the alpaca's the beach fair the the Indian restaurant, probably. Last bit of advice or statement is no, so you don't you don't have to go abroad to have a memorable holiday.

SPEAKER_02 32:50

No, no, not at all. You go you can go anywhere as long as you make it a good holiday for the kids. The people that you're with if you have a laugh. Yeah, no, yeah, but it's but you you go on some holidays and you see the parents are not in interacting with their kids. Like you could go through an I mean you could go to a hotel and the parents would just be sat on the in on the sun loud just go and get in that pole.

SPEAKER_01 33:12

Do you remember when we was on that beach in France? I know that was abroad, but I'm just laughing because remember that family who were British family that were obviously very, very they'd probably shop in Harrods. Do you remember? And then the the they were really kicking off the girl, one of the girls, and they wouldn't get in the sea. Oh. And then because we had those little blow-up things, so they went off, they come back with this big dragon thing, and she still wouldn't get in the sea. That's right. And then our kids are just like in the sea, and they just left, didn't they? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on, Rosemary. If you do not do the other thing, dip your toe in. Yeah. Yes. What's her name again? So your two just like straight in, bang. Very in. Go further it, come back. Oh, she's good, she's going out. Oh. Oh, hang on. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Come back again. Come back. Come back!

SPEAKER_02 33:58

She's in oh, she's in Spain. Yeah. No, but yeah, but it's but some parents don't interact when their kids are away, do they? Yeah. Or they put them in the those club things, aren't they? Yeah. Especially the broad ones, they've got them kids' clubs.

SPEAKER_01 34:12

Advice is book a holiday and make memories. Make memories. Half of the memories we have are unexpected ones anyway. Yeah, of course. Right, so moving on best ones.

SPEAKER_00 34:22

Get ready to laugh. It's now time for the bleeding dad joke.

SPEAKER_01 34:27

Because it's the last episode, I decided to go with a silly one.

SPEAKER_02 34:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:32

And then a not so silly one.

SPEAKER_02 34:34

Right then.

SPEAKER_01 34:34

You going first? You go first.

SPEAKER_02 34:36

George go first? Yeah. At the calf. The barista asked, Do you want chocolate sprinkles? I said, yes to the chocolate. But I have no idea how you knew my primary school nickname.

SPEAKER_01 34:48

Terrible. Go on then. I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.

SPEAKER_02 34:58

A lot of girls have HD HD eyebrows. You can tell the ones that have just started into the makeup especially ones that like they look like a clown, don't they? Alright. Right. I've got my granddad a pug for his birthday. Despite the squash nose, bulging eyes, and rolls of fat, the dog took to him straight away.

SPEAKER_01 35:17

A doctor calls his patient and says, I've got some bad news and terrible news. The patient replies, give me the bad news first. Because the doctor says, You've got 24 hours to live. The patient says, My word, if that's the bad news, what's the terrible news? He goes, I forgot to call you yesterday. Well, that's a wrap. Series two of Cogniusan is officially complete. A massive thank you to every single one of you who have listened, watched, followed, commented, no one, shared an episode, or simply joined us each week for a good old Natter. We generally never take your support for granted, and it's because of all of you that we're able to make this podcast. Yes. Yeah? Yes. We're going to take a little break over the summer, special quality time with the family. But don't worry, we're not disappearing. We'll still be posting daily over on the Cockney and Sun Instagram page. So if you want to keep up with what we're getting up to during the holidays, make sure you're following us there. Have an amazing summer. Make plenty of memories with your family. Stay safe, and we'll be back before you know it for series three. Until then, take care, everyone. We'll be putting up the uh helpline number later.

SPEAKER_02 36:30

This helpline number. So you put your mobile number. So you know. If you get depressed or not seeing us, you can always call it.

SPEAKER_01 36:38

So in that outro, I did mention that's right. That's what it's called when you end episode two series in. Cotton in Sun Instagram page. Yeah. I did a story to say that you are going to become a fully fledged social media influencer. So you're going to do at least one piece of content a day.

SPEAKER_02 37:00

But have you seen the ones I've done?

SPEAKER_01 37:02

Yeah. So we're going to work on it. No. So I'm going to give you a list of things.

SPEAKER_02 37:06

That one with the with the stones. That's a lovely one.

SPEAKER_01 37:08

Yeah, and then you put the song title right in front of it. Yeah, I didn't have to move it up. Maybe that's what I'm saying. We're going to work on those skills, right? Only you can press a and it says music only. Yeah, so we'll go through these skills, is what I'm saying. Yeah. I've only got six weeks. Yeah, but full-time influences. Yeah. It runs in the family now. Oh, does it? Really? So you should be good at it. God, I'm gonna have to edit that out. That's what I've got through a whole episode without having to edit anything. Right.

unknown 37:42

Right.

SPEAKER_01 37:42

Well, have a good summer. Yes. And we'll see you soon. Yes. That's it for this week's Cockney and Sun. If you had a laugh, hit follow or subscribe, whatever button's in front of you. Leave us a review if you're feeling fancy, and don't forget to share it with someone who loves a bit of a moan. We're on Instagram and TikTok at Cockney and Sun, so come say hello. Thanks again if you've made it this far. And until next time, cheers from the old man and the not so young one.