Successful AF Pod

"I'm Not Dead Yet": From Survival to Joy - Lidia Teasca is Successful AF

• Jesswest

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Episode Overview 

In this episode of Successful AF, host Jess West reconnects with Lidia Teasca, an architect whose story of resilience will leave you speechless. When corruption in Romania left Lidia working seven days a week for little reward, and her best friend literally emptied their shared office while she was at a meeting, Lidia made a radical choice: pack 19 kilograms into a suitcase, buy a one-way ticket to London (a city she'd never visited), and rebuild her entire life from scratch.

This powerful conversation explores Lidia's remarkable journey from survival mode to choosing joy, the courage it takes to keep saying "I'm not dead yet" when life keeps knocking you down, and why she keeps a colour-coded Excel spreadsheet of her dreams. Lidia shares how she learned that true success isn't about conforming to society's expectations—it's about listening to your inner voice and prioritizing daily joy over external validation.

Connecting with Lidia

Find her on instagram: @lidiasviews; @hotgritandgrace and @hellbluebell 

Reflection Questions

  • What would change if you stopped conforming to society's definition of success and listened to your own voice?
  • How can you transition from "survival mode" to actively choosing joy in your daily life?
  • What dreams are you keeping as wishes instead of turning into actionable plans?
  • Where in your life do you need to say "I'm not dead yet" and choose reinvention over resignation?

Lidia's story reminds us that no matter how many times life knocks us down, we have the power to rebuild—and that sometimes the bravest thing you can do is pack a suitcase and bet on yourself. True success isn't about ticking society's boxes; it's about having the courage to define and pursue your own version of a joyful life.

Love this episode? Hit subscribe and leave us a review! And if you know someone who's redefining success on their own terms, nominate them at successfulafpod@gmail.com - we're always looking for incredible people to feature.

Connect with Jess:

Instagram: @compasscoaching.co

Website: www.compasscoachingandyoga.com

Speaker 5:

Welcome back to this week's episode of Successful AF, the Podcast for people who've ticked all the boxes, done all the things they're supposed to, but still feel there's something missing. I created this podcast mostly for myself. I suffered a burnout in 2021, and since then have been really trying to unpick what success means and how we can redefine it as a society. I am your host, Jess West, and today I'm joined by the incredible Lidia Teasca. I met Lidia over 10 years ago when we ended up working for the same company and we've not really been in touch since. So when she agreed to come on the pod, I was absolutely delighted to reconnect. Lidia's story is truly incredible. Picture this. You're living in Romania, running your own architecture firm. You are working seven days a week and barely seeing the rewards because of corruption. Your best friend has just stolen everything from your company, literally emptying your office while you're at a meeting. What do you do? Well, if you're Lidia, you start again. You move home, you start another company and you go again. But then You're still struggling, you're still not seeing any rewards. So what do you do? You pack 19 kilograms into a suitcase by a one way ticket to London, a city you've never been to, and start over. In today's conversation, we dive deep into Lidia's remarkable journey from communist Romania to real rebuilding her life in London with nothing but fierce determination and what her friends call a fuck it attitude, which I love. We talk about the difference between surviving and thriving, why she keeps a color coded spreadsheet of her dreams and how she's learned that success is not conforming to what society expects. It's about listening to your inner voice and choosing joy. This is a conversation about resilience, reinvention, and the courage it takes to keep saying, I'm not dead yet, when life keeps knocking you down. So grab a cup of tea, get comfortable, and let's dive in.

Speaker:

Welcome to the podcast. What a pleasure to have you here. How are you doing?

Speaker 2:

I'm okay because that's what we always say. I'm okay, but now there are moments when I really believe I'm Okay. Good. Well that's, that's the

Speaker:

start, right? Let's start at the beginning. Tell us your story.

Speaker 2:

I, my story. I always say, when I die, God will say, you had too many lives in this one. We're not gonna reincarnate you. That's it. You are done.

Speaker:

That's brilliant. You're just living, living all nine of them or however many you need or want.

Speaker 2:

Exactly. Exactly. And that's gonna be a line that I'm gonna use in one of my books anyway. So my story is I grew up in communist Romania. I did architecture backhoe. I am fully in loved and committed and obsessed with architecture. It is a religion to me by now, not a profession anymore. And I started two companies back home. But because back home is back home and it's still full of corruption, I was working a lot, a lot and seeing not a lot, a lot. So at some point I decided this is it. I'm not that yet. I have only one life and I am committed to live it. Not waiting. I love that, not waiting for this country to wake up for something, to change something that I have no control over. Not that I have control over this country either, but

Speaker:

No. But you saw the circumstances in which you were realized that you couldn't change the circumstances, so you changed your circumstances.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. It's like if you, if you want to see a change, start with yourself. God bless Michael Jackson, isn't it?

Speaker:

Or Gandhi. Yeah.

Speaker 3:

No, I, I like the music I started with man. True,

Speaker:

true, true. Yeah. We'll just turn this to a karaoke podcast. This gonna be way more interesting. before we move on, what companies were you running? Were they architectural companies? Yes. In Romania. They were. Okay. Yeah, they

Speaker 2:

were my companies. And one, the first one was with my best friend from Muni, which after three years, I think decided she's gonna leave me and steal everything from the company.

Speaker:

Oh God. That's tough. And this was a friend of yours?

Speaker 2:

Yes, my best friend from uni. And anyway, we had like house and office in the same building. And one day I came back to house office from the accountant. I had a meeting with the accountant that everything was empty. No, no machines, no printers, no books, no. Even my fiction books were gone. Only the, our hour to cap cats were there.

Speaker:

Oh my God.

Speaker 2:

And yeah, everything was rented. Obviously everything, the house was rented. I called the landlord, sorry, I need to check. Change the lock because I don't know what is going on. And I had two cats, my two lovely cats Point, and Fluffy, which was a Persian cat, which I bought for her, for my best friend, but she left it behind.

Speaker:

Wow. Anyway. Yeah. Have you spoken since? No. Wow.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. And after that I moved back home. Yeah. Scary. Yeah. With mom and dad. And how old were you? I think I was 30, 32, something like that. Moved back home with mom and dad and two cats. Was in my own bedroom trying to build something from there again,

Speaker 3:

I even remember I had

Speaker 2:

those, those tiny, tiny folded Ikea desks. Oh my God. I love it.

Speaker:

This is a very Jeff Bezos story, but obviously, with slightly less climate corruption you know. Great. You went back, you went back home. You built again.

Speaker 2:

I built again, and I was going for it. Yeah, I was going for it. Seven. Days a week, 24 hours almost.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Every day. Because I was on site during the day and checking drawings during the night. So it was woo.

Speaker:

And it was just you this time on your own? Yes. It was just

Speaker 2:

me with few people who were helping me drawings, because you can't do everything by yourself. And I had someone who was giving me jobs. And again, after five years, I think, because I was 35 when I decided that's it. Um, on the half of my life, not really anymore. I need to change something. I'm not dead yet.

Speaker:

I love this, by the way, this mantra of I'm not dead yet. So good. Still have I have that. I'm not dead yet. I love it. But it's so important, right? Like, come on. So there's so much of life to be lived. Yeah. So you're not dead yet. You're 35. You're in Romania. Then what happens? Yes.

Speaker 2:

Then, I said, okay, I'm gonna message everyone that I know from you back in the uni. All my friends from uni who are all over the world. Tell me that's the, that was 2010

Speaker:

mm,

Speaker 2:

2010.

Speaker:

Just what you want.

Speaker 2:

Challenges? Yeah. Uh, tell me how is where you are? And if I can slide straight in, I can. I'll do anything. Anything. Just because I, I'm done with it. I cannot do this anymore. I cannot blame this country anymore at this point. It's my fault. I'm still here.

Speaker:

That's a very powerful message as well. It,

Speaker 2:

it is. Because when you stay, when you stay where something is not moving, where you should with, you think you should move, it's not your, it is not everyone's fault. You are, you are not a victim. If you want to live in that victim mindset, you are still gonna be a victim. If you want to change something, just break your leg from the. And leave.

Speaker:

Yeah. And is super important, right? Taking back the agency.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so it happened, A friend of mine was in London and she messaged me back saying, in two weeks, one of the rooms in my shed house is gonna be available. Do you want me to save it for you? And you can do exactly what I did back then. Romania did not have working Visa. You had to do some sort of black back flip, whatever. You had to have a full LTD to work.

Speaker:

Yeah. What's an L-T-D-L-T-D

Speaker 2:

limited. Oh. Like a full

Speaker:

limited company

Speaker 2:

full.

Speaker:

Oh my God. Okay. Wow. So you had to have one of those.

Speaker 2:

And I said, okay, save the room. In two weeks I'm gonna come to London. I've never been to London before that, by the way. Been to the uk. No.

Speaker:

Oh my God.

Speaker 2:

But that, that's the level when my best friend always says that what he loves about me is the fuck it attitude.

Speaker:

Brilliant. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

And when I do it, I'm not fully aware of that because I, I'm a normal,

Speaker:

normal, but it's who you are.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. I'm, I'm, I'm like a normal person. I do have my anxieties and my depressions and I, but it reaches a point when I'm like. Fuck this. I'm done.

Speaker:

Your personal boiling point and you're like, okay, enough now I'm done. Yeah. Yeah. So,

Speaker 2:

I bought one way ticket. I packed 19 kilograms in a suitcase. I don't, the most important part in this, in that suitcase was my laptop and my portfolio printed and I left in two weeks. I I'm very lucky to have a sister and a brother-in-law who are amazing and I left my brother-in-law to close my company. Wow. I didn't close my company. You do it. I'm done. Yeah. And my oldest friend drove me to the airport and he still believes I'm a force of nature.

Speaker:

Yeah, I can see that.

Speaker 2:

And that was it. I landed in London I got the coach to Victoria and I was in Victoria being like, what am I doing? I'm here. I'm gonna do it. And then what happened? I slept for three days. Nice. Yeah. I think my, the level of my anxiety in, because I think back then I, now I recognize my anxiety got to a level that was actually physical symptoms. My vision was blurry and I could see buildings being waves or like rugs being in the, in making waves. And I used to joke to, with my cat stand there,

Speaker:

the floor is quite literally lava. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

And I slept for, three days. And after that, like magic, I didn't have that anymore. And after that, um, I, obviously, I said I'm gonna do anything. I didn't have a job. I didn't have anything. I put, I set up the LTD just in case. And I was a waitress. In a greasy place

Speaker:

amazing.

Speaker 2:

And I did that for like six months probably. And then, I mean, through an agency I had, I got to your dad's company.

Speaker:

Oh. That I didn't realize it was that quick. Like that soon after you landed? Yes.

Speaker 2:

That quick, that quick. I got to your, that company and I still remember my first interview, I think it was in Newbury. And I was so exhausted after my shift because it was a shift.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

And yeah. And that, that was, that was absolutely amazing because I've learned a lot was not architecture but it was so good to, it was more also like a cleansing situation because I was so frustrated with the designing part of the architecture. When you work so hard, you don't have enough and you still do it. And got on the other side of the contractor side and is like, ah, this is fun. Because back in my old life I used to draw two lines and that was a, a wall in here I can see the wall.

Speaker:

That's cool. Yeah, I can see that.

Speaker 2:

It is like everything that was hypothetical in my old life was real here.

Speaker:

That's actually something I love about a building site. Like I think that's one of the few places you can work or you can really see things physically changing around you on a daily basis.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, definitely. Definitely. And that was so exciting. And obviously everything was new and I love new things. And I was absorbing like a. Punch. I got the client to explain to me how they want to do things and I got so good at that thing that I was doing, it was only me doing that at some point.

Speaker:

And how long were you there for?

Speaker 2:

2011 until 2015.

Speaker:

And where did you go from there?

Speaker 2:

I went back to architecture.

Speaker:

Back to your original love.

Speaker 2:

Back to my original love, which was hate. Yeah. Turned out to be hate because turn turns up. I'm not the morning person now.

Speaker:

Oh, how did that. Relate to being an architect.

Speaker 2:

But that's the thing, you know, when I was on site with construction, it was a, a different site every week. I remember in one week, I did Cardiv, Leicester, and Coventry. So I was going back and forth, back and forth to London. But in that architecture business practice, it was in Guilford.

Speaker:

Okay.

Speaker 2:

And back. And back then I was in Kne Wolf. So to commute from Canary Wharf

Speaker:

to Guilford, to

Speaker 2:

Waterloo, to Guilford.

Speaker:

Yes. Every day.

Speaker 2:

Every day to be sat on a chair for at least eight hours because let's face it, architects don't do eight hours. Just got everything out of me disappeared. My joy of life, my joy of being back to the first level. No. Yeah. So then I found another job, which was in London with another practice, and they were more like a consultancy because they had multiple departments.

Speaker:

Okay.

Speaker 2:

And that was again amazing. After so many years, my boss from that company. Message me this year.

Speaker:

Are you available? Oh, I love that. I love it when that sort of serendipity comes back around and, you know, when you meet someone, you're, you love working with them. Okay.'cause

Speaker 2:

I think I got that. Let's do it. Spirit from the construction, from the contractor's point of view, because he was telling me, oh, you need to go and talk with this consultant for the kitchen. And I'm like, okay, I'm going tomorrow. And came back with this, what they said, this is what, can they provide this what they need from us? Did you, did you actually go and do it? You said, I shouldn't, but I did.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

So it's like, I, I think I got that. Let's build the wall thing. If the wall needs to be built, I'm gonna find a way to build it.. And that's, I got that in this life too.

Speaker:

I love that. I think there's really something really interesting about, you know, taking lessons from the sort of physicality of the built environment and bringing them into your world. I think that's also why construction's still so interesting. Tell me what success means to you.

Speaker 2:

That was a thing that was, I was thinking this morning because it's the timing of this speaking to you about success could not be more hilarious because I, I've started a new job two months ago, again, is my old. Precious love of architecture. And I'm back and sometimes, two weeks ago I was working 12 hours and I did not realize the word 12 hours.

Speaker:

Because you were just in total flow. Yeah. Yeah. I

Speaker 2:

I had a deadline. They mind, I had a deadline and it was a lot to do, but I was in so into it and thank God for matcha who does this

Speaker:

high focus.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. I was like, that's it. You are working on this section that nothing matters anymore. And yeah, so I started a new job two months ago. I finished a relationship. I moved into a new place, much more smaller than the previous one, and I'm dealing with, what's my life gonna be next? I had a vision for my life and now everything is gone, and I don't know what my life is gonna be next. To answer your question at this point, success for me is listen to your voice,

Speaker:

tell us more.

Speaker 2:

I think we are not allowing ourself to listen to our own voice.

Speaker:

Mm.

Speaker 2:

I think that's the way we can get to success, because we listen to society's voices. Yeah. You, you have to have this, you have to, you are this old, you should not do this. You are this old, you should have your shit together and. What if that shit is not yours? What if your shit is completely different than what society decides? That's your shit. Yeah. And I'm speaking from the perspective of a single woman. Single woman in her fifties

Speaker:

who doesn't look a day over 22,

Speaker 2:

by the way.. But probably is all the smiling because people are are asking me, why, why do you look so young? And I'm, I always think it's the smiling. Yeah.'cause she's smile. This muscles are going up.

Speaker 3:

It's just, it's not the drooping thing. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. So, yeah, I think success for me at this point is connecting with me.

Speaker:

And I think that's incredibly powerful. There's actually, there's two things I wanna talk about there. The first one being how easy it is to let society define success for us and how hard it is. Because I don't think anyone ever says to us, oh, you need to define this for yourself. No. And that's something that I've really discovered defining success and like actually starting with like, what does good look like? And it's so many people, you ask them that question and they're like, what? It is almost like we don't realize, we get to decide.

Speaker 2:

No, exactly. And it's, it's starting, I'm sorry to everyone else, but it's starting when we are kids and we are girls.

Speaker:

Yes.

Speaker 2:

And we are told to be a good

Speaker:

girl. Yep.

Speaker 2:

And that's the definition we are given the definition of what a good girl is. And you are a big sister. The oldest, and I'm a big sister too. And need to be a good sister for your siblings. Set the right example. And your child, child, you take that role upon you because you don't know better but the trick is it sticks with you.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

And you're trying to be a good girl for, for the rest of your life. And you're never stop and think, do, do I wanna be a

Speaker 3:

good

Speaker 2:

girl? Is that good? My good. Because we are human. We are good and bad.

Speaker:

We could spend hours talking about this, but the other thing I I wanted to come back to is you said it there, oh, you're this age, you should be here. And I think there's this really interesting storyline around, oh, in your I, it's particularly for women, particularly in your twenties, you should be out having fun dating in your thirties. You should be getting married, you should be having kids in your forties. You should be building your career. And I hate it. And one of my favorite things is when they talk about, I don't know, someone who I, I think, is it Helen Marin who like didn't get her first acting job until she was in her forties? Really? Sorry to Helen if if you've been acting since you were five, sorry. But that kind of example of so and so didn't set up their first company until they were 60. And just that who said age had anything to do with what we're doing? The whole, oh, you should be here by this point, as you say, is absolutely ludicrous. And also you said there sorting your shit out. It's not your shit. Someone else has given it to you. It's not for you to sort.

Speaker 2:

No. It's like, no, my shit is my shit. You can't, you don't live in my life to tell me. What my shit is.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

You, you don't, you don't know how I wake up at three o'clock in the morning, what haunts me at three o'clock in the morning. Yeah. It's not the fact that I don't have kids. I, I, it's not that fact. It's the fact that I want to do so much.

Speaker:

Mm.

Speaker 2:

I have a Excel spreadsheet, color coded.

Speaker:

I love this.

Speaker 2:

I want to do so much, and I realize I don't have time. This is my realization. Lately. I don't have time and I'm spending time doing other stuff, like going to work and getting completely swapped in that world and then moving house.. And sorting stuff. But on the other side, I realized I need to slow down. Because slowing down is so powerful. You take control of time. Even speaking, it's like training. I'm trying to train myself, speaking slowly, moving around. I have a lot of stuff of sorting out around me, but I'm moving really slow. I don't rush. This is training myself to slow down, to take control of my time because if I do that, my nervous system is gonna come down and when everything is gonna be in the correct position, my Excel spreadsheet is gonna come out and I'm gonna find ways to tick the boxes on this Excel spreadsheet.

Speaker:

What's on the spreadsheet?

Speaker 2:

This is me getting excited on the Excel spreadsheet is, I'm teaching yoga too. Yes, I'm teaching this Saturday online.

Speaker:

Amazing.

Speaker 2:

We'll put the link in the chat

Speaker:

to your teaching

Speaker 2:

and, I teach hot Yoga 26 72. And it's, it helped me a lot. That's why I trained to teach it because for people I always say I'm strong and yeah, people say the same thing. For people who are strong, they need a lot of challenges to break down.

Speaker:

Mm, break

Speaker 2:

down. And for me, hot yoga broke me down to build me up.

Speaker:

Okay. Say more.

Speaker 2:

Only last Sunday I was in Brighton doing a class with my, my yoga teacher. My yoga mama was teaching and we went there to support her. Her and I think in the room we're like probably 43 to 45 degrees. Really humid because it was a lot of people in there to the point of I thought, I'm gonna be sick, I thought I'm gonna faint. And, but in the middle she said something, this is gonna help you through your physical pain, through your heart pain who go through everything is gonna help you. So keep dig deep. And I started crying. I didn't because I, I, I could feel it coming and I made the face, but one of my friends was next to me and he saw me and he called my hand and I didn't cry. But it's so from that point, if you feel like you're, you are ready to be built up again. And it's challenging. And it is amazing. Because you have nowhere to hide. So my spreadsheet, on my spreadsheet, I want to, build a yoga retreat In Italy. I want to find a ruin in Italy and renovate it and build a yoga retreat in there for people who are coming from conflict.

Speaker:

Wow.

Speaker 2:

And to put this type of yoga who is really challenging, is not, and is not flowy. If you feel like it, if you feel the no is like pick up your foot and for that amount when you are in the class. You can just not think of anything. It's your break. Yeah. Yeah. You just listen. What you are told and on one side to have that type of yoga on the other side to have Nira. Have you done Nira?

Speaker:

I have, but you're gonna need to explain what it is. Okay. It's not everyone knows what yoga Nira is.

Speaker 2:

Yoga is, you're doing nothing.

Speaker:

But it's weird, right? The first time I went to Yoga Nira class actually was when I was living in Hong Kong and I booked it through class Pass. Okay. And I had no idea what I was doing. And I went in and obviously you go in and you literally do nothing. And I complained'cause I was like, sorry, what the hell was this? Like I wrote to Class Bus and I was like, I want my credits back. Like I walked in, no one gave me any direction. I sat on a mat and, and obviously they must have thought I was such an idiot'cause that is the whole point of Yoga Nira. But I was like, I just, I just sat there, no said anything. I had my eyes closed for a whole hour. I would a waste of my credits. But yes, I do know what Yoga Nira is and I have since done it and I've really enjoyed it. But I wasn't, I wasn't ready for it. And my brain was so busy at that time that it was just like, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing. And I was like, this is horrible.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. So Yoga Nira is yoga for sleep. That's it. Summary of it. Yeah. As someone with a lovely voice usually tells you to relax different parts of your body and you should not fall asleep. But,

Speaker:

but sometimes

Speaker 2:

for me it's hardly ever not for, and combining these two techniques I think is gonna be really helpful for people who are coming from the situation where everything is trauma. Yeah. And stress. And combining the certainty of not being forced to think, to make decisions because you are told what to do to the certainty of you can relax now.

Speaker:

Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

I think that's gonna be a good cocktail. So that's a, a spreadsheet I'm gonna get there. I have, I have lines whereby I even put together, where can I get the money from?

Speaker:

Oh, so you've already done your work breakdown structure. You fully project manage this out. I love it. You can take her out of construction, but you cannot take the project manager out of her.

Speaker 2:

It's uh, it's the skill that we gather through the Yeah. Our life and put in everything.

Speaker:

Amazing.

Speaker 2:

And also, it's amazing because every day I come up with different ideas and every day you meet different people.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

And every day you realize those six degrees of separations are getting closer and closer and closer.

Speaker:

A hundred percent.

Speaker 2:

But that's one point on my spreadsheet. And as long as that's on my spreadsheet, I'm gonna have my focus on the spreadsheet and on, on that point. And I'm gonna find connections during my day life. Yeah. To get to that point. The second one, another point is to finish my book.

Speaker:

Tell us about the book. So I, I was very impressed when you told me you'd written a book. Go on.

Speaker 2:

I've written a book. It's already 305 pages, I think. And, it's on, it's in the editing part of the book writing. And I think you can relate to this too, because at the base is the story between a friendship between two women. Is it a fiction book? Yes. Yeah. But based on something that was, that was real, because I couldn't find one of my friends for years. We were close-ish at some point in London, and then she just disappeared. She was a model. She went to China and then she went to Paris and she just disappeared. No Facebook, no Instagram hardly found any pictures of her on the internet. But she's a model.

Speaker:

Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker:

So I found it, by the way, how did you find her? So actually maybe is, is this the, is this the punchline of your books? If it is, then don't tell us. No,

Speaker 2:

no, no, no, no. It's not a punch line because it'll be, give me a piece of tiny piece of rice and I'm gonna make a story outta it. Okay. But the rice is just tiny. I love that. I found it because I was writing to everyone and anyone I thought could know her. Mm. And I was right on any social media accounts. And I wrote, at some point, I wrote to one of the photographers that I knew she worked with. At some point I found him on Facebook. And because he's in this world, he will answer his messages. And sorry to bother you. I knew this woman. Do you know anything about her? I would really be happy to know she's okay because she was alone like me in London too, so, and he replied straight away, no, fine. She's got the kids, she's fine. Message her on this account.

Speaker:

Amazing. It's so rare actually for people to disappear from social media, from a digital presence unless they consciously choose to.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. I think she, she consciously choose to, she actually changed her world entirely.

Speaker:

Amazing. So that's what the book is about, or based on? That's what

Speaker 2:

the book based on. That's the book based on, and it is based, and like a theme part is. How we, because I know you related this to this too. When you move into a different country, you find like home is never anywhere.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Home is not where you were born because of him is strange when you go back home. Home is not in the country that you live now. Because now and again, someone would ask you, where are you from? And because you don't have your friends from school, you, friends from school, are, it's that identity that you lose back home. And it's again, like a different life. You're starting in the new country and it's all that identity crisis that you have in both places more or less. That's the book,

Speaker:

I love it. This is ideal. You need a publisher or you already have a publisher? I don't have a publisher. Okay. Well, any publishers out there? This is actually the second shout out I've done for publishers on this podcast. So there we go. Maybe I'll just find aspiring writers and does any publishers wanna collab? Let's do that. Yeah. Okay. When would you like to have it finished and out in the world by,

Speaker 2:

Probably by the end of the year.

Speaker:

This year.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. Okay. Finished, but then not out of the, out in the world because I know how long it takes to find an agent, to find publisher, to find, but I need, I waiting to settle down a little bit so I can take the print out. I can take the app out and reorganize everything and insert different parts. And also, I have so much more to say now after all the last six months that I've been,

Speaker:

yeah. I love that your vision board is in a spreadsheet that is just the ultimate architecture. Like your vision board is a color coded spreadsheet. Just could not get more organized, I love it,

Speaker 2:

but it, it's also is to store the ideas,

Speaker:

but also it's to make them happen, right? Because it's all very well and good putting a picture of something on a vision board. You've not just you've got your retreat, you've got the ideas. This is where the money's coming in from and like you've broken it down, like it's become reality. There's a plan. It's not just a dream.

Speaker 2:

No. And maybe

Speaker:

that's my shit. That is my shit to sort out. Yeah. That, that is your shit. There you go. Great. Yeah. Tell me how your definition of success has changed.

Speaker 2:

Oh, wow. Yeah. A lot.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

A lot. Because I remember every form of myself.

Speaker:

Okay. Tell us more.

Speaker 2:

I remember every form of myself, every, when I was in uni, that form of myself

Speaker:

was

Speaker 2:

to design amazing buildings where people can feel happy and people can feel at home, where people can be inspired to live, to find joy. But then real life happened.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

And you

Speaker 3:

realize, oh shit. Oh, only one woman in the world. You can't clone her. You can't be

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

But

Speaker 3:

still the,

Speaker 2:

the love doesn't go. And it still, yeah. For me, success back then was that to make my passion for architecture, my income, main income, and a big good income and be recognized for it.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

But then life happens and you realize, oh, hmm, that was a teenager's dream.

Speaker:

Okay.

Speaker 2:

And you still don't lose the passion, but you realize you can make people happy and joyful from other sources too. You don't have to build amazing buildings. You don't have to do amazing stuff. You can feel the kindergarten and the kids running around and that's gonna be very joyful. Then I realized I'm living too much outside of me and that's not success. I listen too much to others, people opinion. Yeah. And that's not success. That's you conforming to something you are getting in the line something. Mm-hmm. You are getting the same mold of everyone else. It's like, I don't want to commute an hour every day.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Paid. Paid amazing. But I even, I even see the people crossing, walking on London Bridge when I was on the train. I was like, oh my God, I don't want this to be my life. For me, success now is joy.

Speaker:

I love that. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Success is living your life in joy I have a list every day. Even if this is, if it's the saddest day of my week, I find something that was joyful and I write it down. It's not gratitude because it's different. Mm-hmm. Gratitude and joy are different, but something joyful. I have, one of my neighbors has an amazing garden. She's amazing and she picks up flowers every morning and she puts it out on the road for people to bring, to get bouquets. But they're tiny and they're really nice and really smelly and. The joy, that moment when I can, when I get to the, she's got a bucket on the pavement. If I get there and they're still in there, the joy that moment brings to me,

Speaker:

I love that so much.

Speaker 2:

And she's absolutely amazing lady. Amazing. Yeah. Yeah, for me, success at this point is joy, and I'm trying to do everything and anything I can to live my life, enjoy going to gigs by myself. I saw a few plays that I, there were amazing. I went to a gig in village Underground and the show didn't start for two hours and there was no music and I had my Kindle with me and here I was. In a corner drinking, drinking my sparkling water and reading my work on the Kindle. What else can I do?

Speaker:

I mean, that does actually sound quite joyful for me,. But then, but then the gig started.

Speaker 2:

Then the gig started and I went straight into the front. In the front and I was looking at people dancing and I was like, oh my God, all this happiness, all this joy is gonna rub on me. Is gonna get into my pos. And of course I was dancing too, because,

Speaker:

yeah. Beautiful. That's amazing. On the flip side, I mean, we've talked about some of these, but what challenges have you had to overcome?

Speaker 2:

I don't want to say being a woman is a challenge. Okay. Because I can see it more and more being a woman, it can be an advantage.

Speaker:

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2:

Because you are not expected to know so many things about construction, for instance.

Speaker:

Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 2:

And you all looked at what is this woman doing, telling me how to do this? And I always start from the position, I understand you don't trust me and you don't believe me, but you don't know me.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

I think the biggest challenge that I face is not believing in myself.

Speaker:

Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 2:

Not seeing what other people see in myself.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Because, like I said, my best friend. My friends are telling me you're a force of nature. The other one is like, you bright up the room when you answer. Now I don't see that I, even now, yeah, I don't see it. I don't see, like it's a force of nature. I, I see it like I do what I have to do. Mm-hmm. Is not because I want to, I don't want to I, I did not choose to be born in Romania.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

I did not choose to have to leave everything behind, I had to, so it was not a choice, it was like a survival thing. So I, I don't think it's a force of nature. I think it is. You live or you die. Yeah. And you live, you get to be who you are or your spirit is gonna die.

Speaker:

But I think that's quite rare, and maybe you don't see it because it's just who you are. But I do think that is quite a rare quality. The insistence on being who you are and not, what was the word you used earlier? Conforming. Mm-hmm. I think that's a rare quality.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. I, I think, I think I've learned this from my granddad. Bless him. Because at some point he said, don't let anyone change who you are. He was a very impressive man.

Speaker:

Mm-hmm. And what a gift to leave you with.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. It's still, it is gonna be his, birthday in two days and I'm still missing him.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

What, 20 something years in.

Speaker:

Coming back to you. Not believing in yourself though. Do you think that will ever change?

Speaker 2:

Doubting?

Speaker:

Do you want it to ever change?

Speaker 2:

I don't think it will ever change, but I'm gonna go forward despite that. Hmm. Because probably I'm gonna find you know how in climbing you when you have have those Yeah, yeah, yeah. Synchronis you

Speaker:

have to find Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. If I'm gonna find those nooks, synchronis to pull myself, like the Excel spreadsheet, that's a nook. It's

Speaker:

a no. Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Because yeah, something, I don't believe that I can do it, but if I start to do something, it is gonna be there black on white.

Speaker:

Yeah, the evidence suggests otherwise, right? If you look back at your life, you've achieved some amazing things.

Speaker 2:

And that's where I'm gonna ask, did I,

Speaker:

did you not?

Speaker 2:

I still believe I was in the survival mode though all the time. I, that's why now I'm, I'm done with survival. I, I want to have joy.

Speaker:

It's time for joy. I,

Speaker 2:

yeah. I've learned survival check forever more. Done. Tons of survival mode. I've learned that, that, that's it. I'm done. I want joy now. Okay. Is it, this is it. Joy is gonna be mine now.

Speaker:

Amazing. I don't think this conversation is over. I think we can definitely carry on talking about this, but the next question is. Relevant. What advice would you give to your younger self?

Speaker 2:

Stop.

Speaker:

Stop.

Speaker 2:

Stop running around.

Speaker:

Okay, so coming back to slow down.

Speaker 2:

Stop and listen.

Speaker:

Yeah. And listen to yourself.

Speaker 2:

Yes. Stop and listen to yourself. Stop and listen. It's not your mom, it's not your sister, it's not your dad. He's not your boyfriend. He's not your teacher from school. It is no one stop and listen to you. But obviously when you are 20, that's not gonna happen. But yeah, I think that's. I'll tell myself, stop. Start trying so hard. Stop pushing so much. Stop and listen to what you want. Because it was for me, in my twenties, it was always go, go, go, go, go, go, go. Was I was, I had a job, a full-time job almost, and going to uni at the same time. So I was finishing courses at the, at uni, run out, going to the job because I was paid by hour, going to the job, and then come back and then go home. Collapse. I used to say that the weekends, all the recovery period, because in the weekends all I could do was sleep and eat,

Speaker:

yeah. Okay. For great advice, and it sounds like you're taking it now, so at the very least, you know, there you go. At

Speaker 2:

some point, like we said before, we are coming from the yoga mindset. It's something I need to learn. When is a challenge, something I need to learn? What do I need to learn? Yeah. Look at what do you need to learn? Yeah, because which is huge because it's staring at you. You need to learn that.

Speaker:

Well, it comes back to that victim mentality, right? Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2:

And

Speaker:

being able to approach something like that and go, okay, all right. You are here to teach me something rather than you are here to flatten me.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. What do I need to learn from you? Because I know you. I've seen you before, right? We've been here before. We, you, we here you were the reincarnation of that person. I can't see you.

Speaker:

Yeah, a hundred percent. And finally, what is your weird, what's the weirdest thing you've ever done?

Speaker 2:

My weirdest thing. I've done all sorts of weird things. One thing that came to mind, which is weird, was I had a crush on a boy at some, was a man in my development in London, and I got my flatmates. I wrote, notes by hand. And I got my flatmates to go to the building where I thought he was flat. Was, and put the notes on the doors

Speaker:

every single door.

Speaker 2:

Three floors.

Speaker:

How many notes was that? Loads. Yeah. And one of them was his. Did he get in touch? Yeah. No. Did you date? Yeah. Oh.

Speaker 2:

But some of the doors were not his and I got back. Really? Lovely. No. Oh, that's

Speaker:

nice.

Speaker 2:

Hope

Speaker 3:

you have some luck. Good luck.

Speaker:

Oh my God, that's so sweet. But also Lidia, like, how can you not see. You are a force of nature. Like that is just so, you're like, I'm gonna go and get it. Like, the grand gesture of that is phenomenal.

Speaker 2:

And I tell you what, we dated, it was two dates, and on the second date I fell asleep in the cinema. Okay. And probably that was it. He was like, oh my God, you were working so hard. There we go. But then I, I saw him a few times on the DLR and I'm like, yeah, no, this is, was not ever gonna work. Nah.

Speaker:

But you put yourself out there, you gave it a go.

Speaker 2:

There

Speaker 3:

you go. You're weird. This is me. I love weirdo. Love it. I

Speaker:

absolutely love it. I love it so much. Thank you so much for You're very welcome. Being on, for chatting to us for Yeah. It's been such an insightful conversation. I've taken so much from this.

Speaker 2:

You are very, very welcome and I'm very happy and grateful I was here and able to chat with you

Speaker 4:

Thank you so much for listening today, and thank you so much to Lidia. What an absolutely incredible conversation that really was. What struck me was Lidia's evolution from defining success as professional recognition and financial achievement to realizing that true success is about living in joy. Her journey from surviving to thriving is such a powerful reminder that we don't have to say stuck in patterns that aren't serving us no matter how old we are or what society expects. I took away the critical importance of listening to your own voice rather than everyone else's. Lidia's insight about how we condition from childhood to be good girls and conform to others' expectations really resonated with me. Her courage to repeatedly reinvent herself from Romania to London, from survival mode to joy shows what's possible when you stop trying to fit into someone else's definition of what your life should look like. I love that she keeps a color coded excel spreadsheet of her dreams and that she's actively working towards them. Whether it's her yoga retreat in Italy or finishing her book, it is proof that dreams without action plans remain wishes. But when you combine vision with practical steps, magic truly happens. I think there's so much to be learned here about resilience, self reinvention, and the power of saying, I'm not dead yet. When life knocks you down, sometimes the bravest thing you can do is pack a suitcase and bet on yourself.

Speaker 6:

If this conversation sparks something for you, I want to hear about it. Send me your thoughts, your questions, your holy shit. That is exactly what I'm going through. Moments, whatever's on your mind. Drop me a line at successful af pod@gmail.com. And here's the thing, I am always looking for incredible people to feature on this show. Those who've broken the mold, redefine success on their own terms or are just in the thick of that transformation right now. If that's you or someone you know, don't be shy. Nominate them or yourself at successful AF pod@gmail.com. Also, do me a solid unsubscribe. Maybe even write me a review and send it onto your mates because the more stories we share, the more we can prove that there is not just one way to be successful af. Thank you.