Courtrooms, Courage and Chasing Dreams - Charlotte de Wouters is Successful AF

What does it really mean to walk away from everything you've worked for to chase a dream that others don't understand?

In this episode, Jess is joined by Charlotte de Wouters, who made the courageous career transition from a high-stress legal career to becoming a full-time yoga teacher and breathwork facilitator in Indonesia. Charlotte's story perfectly embodies what it means to choose alignment over approval and redefine career success.

For six years, Charlotte was trapped in perfectionist burnout - working weekends and nights, constantly stressed, and despite helping others as a family lawyer, never feeling truly successful. The turning point came at 30 during a "complete freakout moment," realizing she could see exactly how her life would unfold if she stayed on that path.

Perfect for listeners experiencing career burnout, seeking career change inspiration, considering a wellness career, or learning to prioritize authentic living over external expectations.

About Charlotte de Wouters

Charlotte is a yoga and breathwork teacher based in Lombok, Indonesia, who transformed from stressed-out lawyer to aligned wellness entrepreneur. Her journey represents career courage and the power of choosing work-life alignment over traditional success markers. She now helps others find peace through yoga and breathwork, embodying the change she wished to create.

In This Conversation, We Explore

Career Transformation

• How Charlotte redefined success from climbing the corporate ladder to waking up excited every day
• Overcoming career burnout in a demanding legal profession
• The courage to make a career pivot at 30

Authentic Living and Family Dynamics

• The fear of disappointing family and the moment her dad understood after three years
• Choosing personal fulfillment over external approval
• Work-life alignment versus work-life balance

Wellness Career Insights

• Why energy management is more valuable than time management
• The difference between helping through fighting versus helping find peace
• Trusting your intuition when the world offers external answers

Following Your Heart

• The magic that happens when you trust yourself and follow your passion
• How career alignment creates unexpected opportunities
• Living authentically despite others' expectations

Key Takeaways

Charlotte's advice? Trust. When you're aligned and doing something you love, things unfold almost magically. Her story proves that sometimes the universe conspires to help you when you're living from your heart.

If you've ever felt successful on paper but empty inside, or if you're wrestling with the courage to disappoint others to honor yourself, this episode offers career change courage and authentic success inspiration.

Connect with Charlotte

Teaching yoga and breathwork in Lombok, Indonesia, with online sessions available. Instagram: @chachadewou

Love this episode? Hit subscribe and leave us a review! And if you know someone who's redefining success on their own terms, nominate them at successfulafpod@gmail.com - we're always looking for incredible people to feature.

Connect with Jess:

Instagram: @kalicoaching.co

Website: www.kalicoaching.co.uk

Transcript

Speaker 4 0:02

Welcome to this week's episode of Successful af, the podcast for people who've ticked all the boxes, climbed all the ladders, and still feel like success is a million miles away. Today I'm joined by Charlotte de Wouters, and I couldn't be more excited to share her story with you. Charlotte and I met during our 300 hour yoga teacher training in India, and she's actually the third person from that incredible group to join me on this podcast. What makes Charlotte's story so compelling is her complete transformation from high stress lawyer to full-time yoga teacher and breathwork facilitator living her purpose in Indonesia. For six years, Charlotte was trapped in the classic cycle, working weekends, working nights, constantly stressed, and despite being a self-described perfectionist, never feeling truly successful, she was helping others as a family lawyer. But while she was fighting battles in courtrooms, she was also battling her own inner turmoil. The turning point came when she turned 30, when Charlotte has what she calls a complete freakout moment, realizing she could see exactly how the rest of her life would unfold if she stayed on that path, and she decided absolutely not. What I love about Charlotte is her unwavering commitment to alignment. When something doesn't feel right, she walks away. When something lights her up, she's all in. She's someone who truly understands that success isn't about pleasing everyone else. It's about waking up excited for your day. Every single day, we dive deep into the fear of judgment, the challenge of disappointing family, and that beautiful moment when her dad finally understood her path. Plus, Charlotte shares some profound insights about energy management and why sometimes the universe really does conspire to help you when you're living from your heart. Let's get into today's episode.

Speaker 2 1:54

welcome to the podcast, Charlotte. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you so much for having me. I am beyond grateful for the invite and to see you again.

Speaker 2:04

It's so good to see, honestly. It's so good to see. We'll actually we should probably tell people how we met. So we met in India. You are actually the third person I've had on from our yoga teacher training. That was just such a special group of individuals. Thank you for coming on. Let's start at the beginning. Tell us your story.

Speaker 2 2:21

Oh, okay. Yeah, I never know where to begin.

Speaker 2:27

Start at the beginning,

Speaker 2 2:28

okay. I yoga teacher, full-time yoga teacher and breathwork facilitator. But I wasn't always, I have always been like this in another life I was working as a lawyer. Um, so I did that for about six years. I was working so hard all the time. I had. A lot of pressure and I was dealing with high stress from my job. I was always running from one place to another, going to hearings every day, preparing all the cases, and Yeah. You know how it goes, you just like, yeah. You, you, you, you, you're dealing with so much things at the same time. Mm-hmm. And when you are a bit of a perfectionist, you just want to do your job the best you can. And yeah, this was driving me crazy at some point because I couldn't stop working. I was working on weekends, I was working at nights and I was very, yeah, stressed and distress was very affecting my personality, my relationships with others. Um. And what did really help me at the time was to practice yoga because it was a way for me to reconnect with myself, with my body, with my breath. And since I was always in my head overthinking all the time, thinking about my to-do list, thinking about all of my cases, then whenever I. Entered into the yoga studio. It was really a sacred time for me to reconnect, to be just in the present moment. It was such a relief to finally let go of all of this overthinking and to reconnect with myself. And yeah, with my breath, my body to be more present. And it did really change me. I managed to, um, be more calm and to deal with my stress better. And so yeah, yoga did really, really help me at the time. And I became so addicted to the great effects of a regular yoga practice that it suddenly became super clear that I also wanted to be able to share this powerful tool with others. So I decided to become a yoga teacher myself. So in 2022 I flew to Indonesia to do my first 200 hours yoga teacher training, and I started teaching straight away and I absolutely loved it. Yeah, it was really, yeah, so, so aligned with, with me. And so I, I was feeling like I finally was at the right place doing the right thing, you know? I started teaching in, different places in different countries first in Australia, then in Sri Lanka. And then after this I went back home because at that time I was on a career break just for six months. So I had a deadline to go back to work, and it was. Impossible for me to go back to the previous version of me, you know, doing my job as a lawyer. And I tried for a couple of months, but then I decided to quit and to yeah, and to keep on teaching yoga. So I went to Nicaragua and, uh, I was teaching there for a couple of months. Then I went to India where we met did my 300 hours teacher training with you. And then, spent some time teaching in India. And then I flew to Indonesia again to, to teach there. And yeah, I never left. I really found my place. And, my, yeah, my, my, my perfect, setting for teaching and yeah the right balance also. I'm now still living in Indonesia, still teaching yoga. I've added breath work as well, so I trained as a breath work facilitator about six months ago. And yeah, it's been super, super, super nice. I'm so grateful for how things are unfolding, and for living from my passion.

Speaker 7:16

Amazing. This might have been six months ago now, you posted, something on Instagram and you said it wasn't until I turned 30 that I truly started living right. And you are someone who just fully commits to living, like fully living. And I think so few people do that and it's incredibly inspirational. It's, I'm sure it's not been easy. Like it, you know, you've kind of said that, oh, I went here and I taught here. Like I'm sure you've had some real challenges along the way and we'll get into that. But you just commit to this is my purpose. This is what I'm doing. And you like, have that alignment, alignment, alignment with what you're doing. And if it doesn't align, you walk away. And I think that is incredibly brave.

Speaker 2 7:55

Thank you. Thank you Jess. And it's so funny that you mentioned the fact that it was when I turned 30 that I had this, this clicked in that everything changed because yeah. For me, it was really like a turning point. Mm-hmm. I could see how the rest of my life was gonna be if I would have stayed in Belgium doing what I was used to do. I was like, oh, no, no, no, no. I freaked out.

Speaker 8:24

Yeah,

Speaker 2 8:25

I'm turning 30. I really want to chase my dreams. I don't want to to die one day having regrets. So it became really my motto. I, I really, became so dedicated in chasing my dreams. And yeah, like you said, it was a big commitment for me to go after this, even if of course it came with challenges, even if it was completely new for me. Mm-hmm. I was like, okay. I know what I don't want anymore, and I'm not gonna settle for that just because it feels easier, just because it's safer. No, no. That's not what I, what, what I want anymore. So I really choose for myself to go the other way and to, to chase my dreams and to follow another path, even if it was completely unknown, completely new for me. And I think, yeah the fact of turning 30 years old really was, uh, a turning point for me.

Speaker 9:33

Mm. So I think. One of the most important things we can do in life is choose. Mm-hmm. So I had a really long conversation with a very good friend about this the other day, and I think many of us don't like the, I don't know if it's the understanding or like the realization that we actually get to choose our lives. Right. And you know, sometimes you don't like what's on the other side of that choice. And so, it's like, oh, well I, I can't. Well, no, you can, but you don't want to do the other thing. And like some people absolutely, like if we look at like privilege and stuff, people have less choice, more choice, whatever. But everyone has a choice. And I think there's huge power in that. But I think there's also huge fear behind it when people are like, it's my responsibility to design my life. And there are very few people who are. Willing to take responsibility and just own their lives and take those choices that are difficult, that are hard, but ultimately lead to where you are, which is living your purpose.

Speaker 2 10:30

Exactly. I completely agree. And I think that's something we've been taught maybe growing up that's life has to be a certain way. Yeah. It has to be hardworking. And then you can earn a little bit of free time, Yeah. If you've worked hard enough. And I was also raised this way, and I cannot blame anyone because that's how, for example, our parents, that's also how they've been raised. That, everything around work, working hard and earning a lot of money in order to be comfortable, in order to be safe, in order to do some great things, sometimes in the free time. But first of all, you have to be safe. And yeah, when, whenever I talk about it with my dad, he's also very much like this. I can feel it. So it's really hard to change perspective. And to yeah, to, to just, dropped everything you've been taught since years and years and years to think differently. So that may be the reason why a lot of people have a hard time, yeah. Opening up to freedom, I would say. I love that. Yeah. Something inside of them is telling them that they have no choice. They have to work how to, to make it work. They have to suffer sometimes related to, to suffering, to, being unhappy, complaining because it has to be this way because they've been told, or they've seen this for their whole life. So for them it's what's normal. And, choosing would be, like you said, too scary maybe. So yeah, it's, uh like we said earlier, it's always easier to stay in what's comfortable.

Speaker 12:12

Yeah, definitely. You've actually just reminded me of, this parable I heard it quite recently and it's become one of my favorite things about, The, have you heard this businessman and the fisherman? And basically the businessman is on holiday and he's walking down a beach. Uh, I dunno why it'd be a man, it could be a business person, but whatever. We'll go with the original parable. And he sees a fisherman who's just brought in his catch and he starts talking to him and he says, oh, you know, how much do you catch a day? And he goes, well, I got every morning and I catch enough to feed my family, and I catch a little bit to sell, and then I go and spend the rest of the day with my wife and my children. And the businessman says, well, you could use the money that you, make from buying the fish to buy more boats, to buy a fleet of boats. You could be super successful, you could be rich, you could, you could really scale this business. And then the fisherman says, but what would I do? What would I do if I had all this money? He said, well, then you could, you could go and spend time with your wife and your children. And the fisherman's like, but I'd do that anyway. Like I, I've cut out the str, I don't need the struggle. And the businessman's, like, it's almost like he can't comprehend, but he's like, but the, you have to do the, the thing to, to get to the freedom and the, the fisherman's. Like, but I've already got the freedom. And it's exactly that. Like this programming of you must struggle, you must achieve, you must succeed, whatever that means. We'll get to that to then be allowed to rest, to be allowed to have fun and the freedom and the play. But actually, there is a totally different way to do it. And I think that's what we, particularly in the West also programmed to be must work, must self flagellate. In order to prove myself to whom? I don't know.

Speaker 2 13:50

Yeah, exactly. But I also have the feeling that it's a generation thing. Maybe our generation is starting to think differently. Don't you think?

Speaker 14:03

Yeah, I do, I I do. I think more and more of us are kind of waking up and going, hang on. Yes. I don't have to do it this way. And I think the generation under us

Speaker 2 14:12

Yeah.

Speaker 14:13

Oh my God. Because they are so awake, they're like, cool, I'm gonna do it my own way. Like it's just Yeah.

Speaker 2 14:18

Look at them.

Speaker 14:19

Yeah. They're just like, no, no, no, I'm not gonna do it that way. Like, I remember, like, I actually interviewed my sister for this, and she's 10 years younger than me, and she's a photographer. And I remember when she was growing up, I was like, you've gotta get experience of working in an office. And she was like, why? I'm never gonna work in an office. And I was like, yeah, but like, what if you need to? And she was like, no, I'm, I'm never, I'm never gonna do that. I was like, huh, this is fascinating. What? Like what do you mean? She's like, no, I'm just, I'm never gonna work in an office. And I was like, okay. This is unique. Yeah. What does success mean to you?

Speaker 2 14:55

That's a beautiful question. To me it means being aligned with what you're doing something meaningful for you. It can be anything but something meaningful. Yeah, to me, success is a really personal thing. It can really, be so different from one person to another. As long as, once is fulfilled, with what what they're doing to me, this person is successful. Yeah. And how to know when you are aligned. Yeah, you just know. You just know. I've really experienced it. So I've been, like I was telling you, I've been working as a lawyer for quite a long time and I was waking up every day with this stress in my stomach, being not excited about my day at all, being waiting for weekends for days off and so I knew inside of me that this was not fulfilling me. Compared to how I feel now, when I wake up every morning, I'm so excited. I could do, what I do all day long. No need vacation, no need some, some breaks. I'm just, yeah, super driven, but by what I'm doing, And I feel that I've really, found, my purpose, it's not only fulfilling me, but it's also bringing something to others. I that's, what I've heard from others. It's helping them. And so I feel like I'm contributing to, uh, yeah, something, beyond than just myself, something greater, I'm having a, an impact. And so it's like a beautiful exchange of energy and yeah, I feel really aligned when I'm doing what I do. So I would say, yeah, success for me is finding your purpose feeling aligned and also waking up in the morning being so excited, no matter. The results, no matter the income you are making for me it's more about how you feel, how the others around you are feeling. For me, that's being successful. Yeah,

Speaker 17:22

I love that. That's so beautiful. you talked about service there, being of service to others. Yeah. Do you think that plays into the feeling of success that you have? Knowing that you are, as you said, contributing to the people around you?

Speaker 2 17:37

Yeah. Yeah. Def definitely. do you remember when we did the Ikigai? Oh my gosh, yes. So,

Speaker 17:44

Yeah, I had a coaching session with Charlotte. I loved it. And we did the Japanese philosophy of Ikigai. It was, I think about that a lot, you know, still.

Speaker 2 17:52

Yeah. So yeah, according to me being successful can be seen as onboarding your own Ikigai and yeah, ikigai brings together the things you are good at, so all of your competence, all of your skills, and then the things that you can bring to others. So that's where you have this, like you said, exchange connection with others, and then the things that are, bring something to the world in general. To me it's definitely related to the others. But that's just my personal opinion, for some people maybe it would be something just, Related to them as long as they feel fulfilled with what they are doing. I mean, yeah, it's, it's great. But to me, I couldn't see myself being so, so happy doing something just for me. It's need to be related to others because we live in community. And there is nothing more fulfilling than this exchange to others. The, all of these connections, are so powerful and yeah, I think that's a, a reason why we're all together in this, we need to help each other to grow. We need to uplift each other. But that's, yeah, just my personal opinion about it.

Speaker 19:20

I love that though. And I think, I actually think that's where we often go wrong with success. We don't define it for ourselves. I think we rely on external opinions or, other people's definition of success. And that's where then I personally believe, you start to see burnout because you're chasing something that doesn't align to your point with what you want. It's just what you are told you should want. And then you are like hustling for something that just doesn't feel right. And then you start to get this, for me anyway, it was like anxiety and actually ended up with depression.'cause I was just like chasing, chasing, chasing. I was chasing a promotion and it just was like, is this really what I want? It's actually where we come back and go, actually what, what is success to me? And that might change on a daily basis, but it's that sort of defining it for ourselves that I think is absolutely paramount.

Speaker 2 20:10

Yeah. Yeah, definitely. Yeah if you are in this, in this mindset of following something just to please others mm-hmm. You can never be completely aligned, according to me. Because you're just trying to please everyone around you and you wearing a mask. And of course it's easy because the other's expectations are very clear to you.

Speaker 20:42

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2 20:43

Generally, yeah. They, they would tell you what they're expecting from you. And so it's easy, for example, what your boss is expecting from you for what your parents are expecting from you, what you know. It's very good to be just this Oh, good girl. Yeah, just, behaving like everybody would expect you to behave and then you get this kind of real reward because everyone is liking you, but you're forgetting one very important person, it's yourself. And of course, it's scary. I was thinking about it, preparing the podcast because when you are trying to please everyone, you have this very clear list of expectations to to feel right. You, you know how to behave because it's clear you have this roadmap, but when you start living for yourself, you don't have this roadmap anymore. You have to figure it out by yourself. Like, how do I want to live just for myself? So it's scary. And again, it's the. Coming back to the fear of the unknown, you have no idea. And like you said, you're just like, oh, what do I want to do just for me? Like how do I behave if, it is just for me? It can be scary for sure, because you don't have a clear list of how to do. But it's, uh, it's definitely worth giving it a try. Because otherwise you can spend your whole life just not being truly yourself,

Speaker 22:22

a hundred percent. I'm so glad you said that actually, because I definitely recently have been feeling like I've stepped off the roadmap and now I feel a bit lost. And actually I think that's probably the best feeling. But to your point earlier, like I'm definitely a recovering perfectionist, so I'm like, no, I I want a plan and I want to know that on Monday I'm going to be building this, and on Wednesday I'm gonna be doing this. And so letting go of that. And I'm still in the process of shedding that skin. Like I'm not there yet, but it's terrifying. Tell me how your version of success has changed throughout your life.

Speaker 2 22:55

So when I was studying and then working as a lawyer, my definition of success was to be really involved in this career as a lawyer to just, invest more and more energy into that and to, become a great known lawyer. I wanted to earn more money. I wanted to, um, to raise, uh, climb the ladder. Yes, exactly. To have more responsibility and, you know, the, the classical way. And, at some point I was like, okay, but if I am doing this, it means that I'm going to be so exhausted all the time. So stressed all the time. And my physical body was telling me that's not a good way. And also my mind was going crazy all the time, I was so stressed. Never fully satisfied, actually. I was very frustrated. And I could see it physically. And yeah, also never have some rest. So I was overthinking all the time. So I was chasing something that was not really bringing me, peace, I would say, you know? Mm-hmm. You always want more when you are in this kind of in this, cycle of, chasing more, more, more, more, more. But what for, if it's not, if it's making you crazy and if it's also affecting your physical health, your mental health, then really what, for, what's the price? It was like almost like, I was, jeopardizing my, my own wellbeing for chasing something that I was not even, really believing in something I was told to do because it's the right way. Because we were raised, like this and, it was, yeah, not really my choice to, yeah, to work this hard. So, yeah, at some point I, I switched and that's how I decided to, to become a, a yoga teacher. And yeah, my definition of success definitely changed at that time. When I did my career switch and I. I started from this moment, I started to see my own wellbeing as my first priority. I think you can relate to that. Yes. When you burnout out, you have no other choice in making your own. Wellbeing as a priority. It's like your body is telling you, you have to do this. We won't survive otherwise. So you have to finally start looking at yourself. And of course, like we said earlier, it can be scary because you don't know at the beginning you've never been used to looking at what you need, what you like, what is good for you. But then when you start doing this you, you realize how great it is to finally do things that are good for you, for your health, for your wellbeing, and then you are able to also expand and to share this with others. And yeah, that's how it changed to me because you cannot really serve others if you are not really great with yourself at first. And. When I was working, as a lawyer, I was working in, in family law. So my first motivation has always been to help others. So I really wanted to be working with individuals and to get to know their story and to help them, with family matters. But I think at that time, because I was not feeling good myself, I was so stressed and, I couldn't really help, the others in the best way. So it was more like, a bit of my ego maybe trying to help them and to be like, oh yeah, I'm gonna win this case, Mm-hmm. And it was, always also, yeah, you know how it goes, with, The proceedings, when you go in front of the judge, you just fight. And it was, this way of helping others, which wa which was not very aligned with, what I would have done if I was really good with myself and then serve others being good with myself. You know what I mean?

Speaker 27:18

Yeah. I know exactly what you mean. And I think it's, it's a very interesting observation that sort of, you've gone from like helping others by fighting in that real like, combative scenario to helping others really in an incredibly peaceful way. And you said earlier, I think most of us are just searching for peace. And actually you've brought that in and not only have you found it for yourself, you're helping other people find it too.

Speaker 2 27:43

Trying to. Yeah.

Speaker 27:45

I really love that. The other thing I just wanna talk about is, you said at the beginning there, you said you, you chose to invest your energy. And I think very few of us are aware or make conscious choices of how we invest our energy, invest our time. I saw a quote from Taylor Swift this morning, about like Yeah. The great philosopher. Yeah, exactly. Great. Exactly. The importance of investing your energy like it is a luxury item. And I think it's so true because there is a finite amount of energy, and I definitely think since as I've got older, I find that more and more like my energy is it's so precious. Yeah. And we're often told you've gotta invest money, you've gotta, you've gotta build. But actually, if you're not investing your energy in the right places, it doesn't matter how much money you've got. If you're not healthy, if you're not well, what's the point? You can have all the money in the world, but it's not gonna make any difference.

Speaker 2 28:41

Definitely. Yeah. It's, uh, and the, yogic philosophy, it's, uh, bramacharia the wise use of energy. It's so important. And when you look, for example, when you, you go to bed and you just think about your day, you can really see what was. Like the, you can really do this feedback. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 29:08

Yeah. And

Speaker 2 29:08

check okay, I spent so much energy doing this. Was it really exhausting me or was it, bringing me more energy? It's so obvious that some things you do are just taking energy away from you, mm-hmm. It's really draining and you spend so much time and energy doing things that, again, are not aligned with yourself and not meaningful to you. But on the other hand, sometimes you're just doing things that you love and it's bringing you energy in return. So you, I think it's such a good, measure to see a little bit what is fulfilling you. You are searching for your purpose. It's really good to, to look back and to see, okay, during one day, what do I do that is giving me energy? What do I do that is taking energy away from me? And so you can choose, but because again, it's a choice to spend your energy in things that are really, fulfilling for you and bringing energy. And this goes for, the people you surround yourself with as well, right? If you spend your time with people who are taking energy away from you, and you come back home being so exhausted because. You just don't align with those people. Then it might be a sign that you need to change your close circle. I mean, you cannot always choose, of course. I think it's important to really have a close look at how you are spending your energy and who you are spending, most of your time with.

Speaker 30:53

Completely agree.

Speaker 2 30:54

And

Speaker 30:55

yeah, you're right. You can't choose your family, but you can choose your friends and you can also choose who you spend the majority of your time with. Like that is a choice. It's the whole, there's, have you heard the term energy vampires? Like people who just stuck the energy from you and you can feel it when you're talking to one of those people, you're just like, oh God. But also, sometimes you can show up as an energy vampire. Like I know myself, like when I'm like not in the right mood to socialize or if I'm feeling a bit stressed. Actually the best thing for me to do in that situation would be to be like, I'm not coming. Rather than be like, I've turned up and I'm like, uh, blah, blah, blah. You know?

Speaker 2 31:27

Yeah, yeah. I remember you, you were being super self-aware of. Your energy level. And even during, the training, when we met, sometimes you would just say, okay, okay, I need some time for myself. Just be, with my own energy to recharge. And yeah, I, um, was always, uh, very, um, admirative, uh, of you for doing that because not a lot of people are doing that. Sometimes they would just keep going. And then, yeah, not really enjoying this time. And yeah, time is also the most precious things we have in life. We don't know how much time we have. How would you just waste your time like this? It doesn't make sense to me. It's, yeah. We just have to, to really, really work every single minute we have to make the most of it. And not waste time like this, like it's, uh, endless, you know?

Speaker 32:27

Completely agree. They say that on average you get 4,000 weeks on the planet, which actually is not that much. No. So, if that's all you're getting and that's generous. That's about 80 years old. So some people don't even get that. So as you say, I completely agree. Time is the most precious commodity. And if you're just like throwing it away, for what?

Speaker 2 32:49

Yeah.

Speaker 32:50

What challenges have you had to overcome?

Speaker 2 32:54

I, one of my biggest challenges was, the fear of being judged.

Speaker 32:59

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2 33:00

Um, yeah. By others. Yeah, because it's not it's not, uh, an easy decision to switch career like this. It's pretty unconventional. And when you're used to please all the people around you, of course, it's just so scary to to just think about what they will think of you doing that, so that was my, my biggest fear at some point. The fear of being judged by others. And again, this is related to, the people pleaser in me Yeah. That I was being so scared of people not liking me anymore, not, being there to to be like exactly how they wanted me to be. And, suddenly I, yeah, I was scared that they might not like me anymore. Yeah, so this was one of my, biggest challenges. And I would say another one is the fear of the unknown. Mm-hmm. And also talked about it. But, uh, yeah, to me it was very, very, very scary. It was a, a big challenge to, to overcome for sure. And yeah, I, I'm so grateful that I've had some help. So I did a coaching yeah, when I, I did this, career switch to help me overcome these fears.'cause otherwise I would have been still paralyzed. Yeah. I think I would. So I think it's so great to have someone by your side when you're thinking about doing such a big change in your life and when you're just unsure, sometimes all of those fears they can take over, but when you have someone by your side can really help you. So yeah what you're doing is so important for people who want to change their lives. I think it's such an added value to have, someone helping you when you are doing, this kind of, transformation.

Speaker 35:05

So obviously you did make the switch. You were brave, you did it. Did you find people like your friends or even family, walked away from you? Or were you surprised that actually they were very supportive? Because I imagine that some people probably would've maybe been a bit jealous that you had the bravery to do it and found that quite confronting. But I'm curious to know like how that actually went down.

Speaker 2 35:27

Yeah, that's right. So all of my friends were very supportive. But again, I think that's because, I became aware before that, because before making the switch, I became aware of, uh, who my true friends were. Mm-hmm. Um, also, yeah, I, I became aware of the vampires. So I just, so yeah, at some point you can't ignore that anymore. And even if it's a long time friendship, you have to cut ties. And it's for the best. So I did that already, and all of my. Friends, they were super supportive to me. So I think I choose to be surrounded by the ones, who are going to support me in that journey. And I'm so, so grateful that I've had this support. It really meant so much. And then yeah, the hardest for me was, my family. Mm-hmm. yeah, because they, again, that's another generation. Mm-hmm. And I really felt like I was, I know it's completely completely, irrational. Like something I can't explain it, it is just, uh, made up, but I was really feeling like I was betraying them. Mm-hmm. Um. And yeah, because of, of course, they've always, support me during my studies. And also, in my career as a lawyer, they've been the best support. They were so proud of me being a lawyer, and when I had to tell them that I didn't wanted to be a lawyer anymore, I could feel like the disappointment. It was not easy, for my parents for sure. And they didn't really get it. And, but, again it really helped me at that time to have this coach next to me.'Cause otherwise it is just so violent. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That you can just be like, oh, okay. Okay. Then it's not a good idea. And also knowing, like you were saying, that all of their all of their, advice or recommendation, is just pure projections of their own fears.

Speaker 37:43

Yeah, a hundred percent.

Speaker 2 37:44

And to know that you have to be, yeah very aware of this mechanism because otherwise you just stuck in the, the mechanism, so you don't really realize, and yeah, because I've had. The support of, uh, a third person. Then I was really able to see all of the projections going on, and I was able to see that they were actually projecting their own fears on me, uh, and their own frustrations because maybe they, wouldn't allow themselves to chase their own dreams. And so seeing me doing that, it was like, wow, super, super hard for them. And then they were just telling me like, oh, but how are you gonna do financially? How are you gonna start a new career? Now, there are so many yoga teachers and you have, uh, and you won't be able to, to make it as a yoga teacher or how you've been studying so hard to become a lawyer. Why are you dropping it like this, like from one day to another? Uh, it's not reasonable, blah, blah, blah. You know? And yeah, it's, it's, I think it was, um, the most challenging time for me and, um. I wa I was so lucky that I was super self-aware of all these mechanisms going on, and, um, I decided that I I was not going to try to explain myself too much, but I was going to show them, just show them so. Uh, of course at the beginning, the first thing you wanna do is try to explain yourself to justify and to blah, blah, blah, but they don't get it. Mm. They, because it's totally different from what they've been taught, from what, what they learned. So they don't get it. So it doesn't it's not really helping to try to explain yourself. So, I think you just gotta do what you gotta do. You just have to show them. And yeah, they, now it's been yeah, almost three years. And they finally clicked. They finally understood. I have had such a great time with, my dad. I did, a breath work for him.

Speaker 40:05

No way.

Speaker 2 40:07

And he said to me, it was such a beautiful moment, he said to me, okay, I finally understand now after three years. He said, oh, Charlotte, I understand. I'm like, wow. Took so long. But yeah, so I think that's the best thing you can do when people are not fully supporting you and especially people, uh, like your parents. Uh, of course you their opinion is really, really important. But if it's. Stopping you. Then again, you are sacrificing yourself to please others expectations. So all you have to do is just to keep going, and at some point they will understand you. You just have to believe that they will see by themselves just, uh, seeing the, the results seeing seeing you being just, uh, super, super aligned with what you're doing. They will see it. Yeah.

Speaker 41:08

I really love that. I love what you said about showing them rather than trying to explain, and I think that's something that's really important, but quite like undervalued and just, you know, because you said there like. They didn't understand, like you could have been talking a totally different language. Like,'cause they're just like, but this makes no sense. And like they obviously have their own values and, and they wanna make sure you are happy and that you are safe and da dah, dah, dah, dah. And they're like, but this, this isn't safe. but actually just being able to show them and then like, to take your dad on that breath work. Oh my God, what a beautiful way to bring it back around.

Speaker 2 41:41

Exactly. But that's also I'm not blaming them

Speaker 41:44

No. Because

Speaker 2 41:45

I'm not a parent myself. But I guess that as a parent you have to your, your, your main task is to make sure that you know, your, your kid is going Yeah,

Speaker 41:58

of course.

Speaker 2 41:59

And that your kid is safe, is able to, to be, to, to support to, to support themselves, like financially and everything. And you know, so maybe as a parent they were like, okay, we want to offer Charlotte the best education possible in order for her to be, uh, to choose a career and to, to be fulfilled in this career. So maybe me telling them that I want to switch career was super hard for them to hear because they were like, we've invested so much. Yeah. Energy being supportive.

Speaker 42:39

Yeah, of course.

Speaker 2 42:40

The previous career and you know, that's also, yeah. Bringing them back to their own. Uh, role as parents, and maybe it was for them, it was a bit like they they were not great as parents, uh, bringing me, uh, yeah, you know?

Speaker 43:00

Yeah, no, I, I get that. It's almost like they feel like you're going, oh, actually like this wasn't what I wanted. And, but it wasn't that at all. It's just about, I think there's a really interesting dynamic where a child becomes an adult. There's almost like this like point at which you become your own person and then you also see your parents as people as opposed to parents. And there's almost like a need to, then everyone has to like relearn the dynamic and sort of go, okay, like, so this is who we are now and like we're all adults and we all have our own opinions and they might not be the same opinions, but we can still love and respect each other regardless. But it sort of takes a little while for that dust to settle.

Speaker 2 43:41

Definitely. Yeah, that's so true.

Speaker 43:43

What advice would you give your younger self

Speaker 2 43:47

to trust? Yeah, because my younger self would want to control everything, because she would want to be perfect we were saying earlier to plan and to, yeah, to be in control. But actually, when you are aligned and when you are really taking that leap in order to chase your dreams, you can't control anything. It's impossible. It's the unknown, complete unknown. So all you have to do is. Trust. And when you start trusting and when you are in the right place, when you really do something that, that you love and you're doing with your heart, then things start to unfold like this. It's almost like magic. I think it's, also, related to, the energetics. Mm-hmm. Um, because when you are doing this from your heart, then you're se sending a certain vibration to the universe, and then the universe is always responding to the vibration you're sending. And so I'm not, lying, saying that but it's almost like something magic happened. As soon as I decided to to become a yoga teacher and to get more and more involved in this path. I've never struggled. Jess, it's crazy. Of course I've had obstacles for sure. Mm-hmm. I've had challenging times, but not struggles. It was aligned. Everything flowed. I've never had to search for an opportunity to teach. I've been offered opportunities here and there. Of course, I was searching for it, but again, I was teaching with all my heart and hoping with all my heart that I would find something and then opportunities came to me like this. So yeah, when you really do something you love. You can trust because things will unfold for you. it's gonna happen for sure. When you let go, when you don't try to plan everything out, when you trust and you know that you are doing something you love, it's gonna, it's gonna unfold almost magically. Yes. Just to tell you a little bit of a, an example that I always find funny I've also started to, assist for ytt, so yoga teacher trainings, right? So I'm now helping people to become yoga teachers themself. And this opportunity came to me also like this, like at some point I was so it was right after our training in India. I was practicing for myself and during this, the practice I've had a little, gut feeling that I needed to reach out to the director of the school I did my first 200 hours teacher training with. So I've just dropped her a message saying, Hey, I, I'm now a 500 hour certified yoga teacher and I would love to start assisting for yoga teacher trainings to help people becoming yoga teachers themself. Without any expectation just dropping this message. And she replied, saying like, oh, Charlotte, I've got your gig. We have a training going, next month in Bali with, a teacher. And everything was so aligned. Like I was supposed to be in Bali at the exact same time. So I was like, yeah, I'm, I'm already gonna be there. The teacher I was going to assist was my teacher from Brussels. I used to practice with. No way. Everything was just like, okay, it makes so much sense and yes, let's go. And, it's just like this, just, It's, hard to believe when you're super in the mindset of planning everything. You just don't wanna hear those things. Don't plan and trust. I know, I know. But it's actually how it works. So just try it by yourself and you'll see.

Speaker 48:02

I love that so much. I Yeah, just you are right. It's a really hard thing to do, but I think it's something we need to remind ourselves of every single day. And also to find the space to let those gut instincts come up. Because I think when you're super busy, like whether it's rushing around to work or I feel like we're always plugged into something, like whether it's on your phone or listening to something or watching tv, we're always plugged in and very rarely plugged into ourselves.

Speaker 2 48:32

Sure.

Speaker 48:33

And making that space. Yeah.

Speaker 2 48:35

Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 48:37

I imagine this will be a similar answer, but let's see what permission do you want to give others through your story?

Speaker 2 48:44

Yeah. It is the same. Just to tune in.

Speaker 48:48

Mm.

Speaker 2 48:49

Like you were saying, it's super easy to get distracted. But when you are and it's easy also to, to get the answers from outside. Yeah. Asking advice. It's never gonna help you to ask advice to, it's just gonna get you more confused, right? Yeah. So just tuning in and trying it can be so different also from one person to another. For some it can be through meditation for others, it can be through working in nature and, receiving some insights for others, it can be through breath work. Like any possible way to come out of your head of all of the overthinking and just tune into your. Yeah, the, I would say the, the true essence of your being, what's truly there when you let go of all the layers, when you let go of the masks, when you let go of, uh, everyone else's expectations. What's truly there? Can you answer this question? What do you truly want? And if you can't, that's fine. Of course it takes time, but you will get the answers by tuning in. So yeah, I would say tune in order to get to know yourself better, in order to to really feel what's aligned with you. And then once you found it, just pursue this dream and trust that everything is gonna unfold in the best way possible for you if you have this trust and if you are doing something from your heart.

Speaker 50:27

So beautiful. Oh, this was so nice. I wanna talk to you forever, but, tell us how we can find you because you teach breathwork online and we'll link it in the show notes, but, how do we find you? Like where can people find you

Speaker 2 50:43

I am living in Lombok, the island next to Bali. So you can find me there. I'm teaching in different studios there in person classes. I also do breathworks there. But then I also, I'm very aware that it's a long way to come to Bali and I wanted to be able to offer, breath work and, all these techniques that have changed my life so much. With others, wherever they are in the world. So that's why I've started to offer online sessions as well. Yeah, online group sessions or private sessions for both work. And you can find me and check all of my offerings. On Instagram. In my bio there is a link and when you click on the link, you have all of the offerings.

Speaker 51:34

Brilliant. We'll put your Instagram in the show notes. Thank you so much, Charlotte. It was, it's been a, such a pleasure to chat to you. And yeah, just keep going. Keep spreading that light.'cause I think what you have is such an important message and I think there's a lot of people that need to hear it.

Speaker 2 51:50

Thank you so much, Jess, for having me. I really love your podcast. I read the description of it, I was like, yeah, that's so true. Actually, there is no such thing as you know, um, helping people, um, like to redefine their definition of success. So yeah, I think it's such a brilliant idea and I'm sure this is gonna help so many people. So thank you so much for doing this.

Speaker 3 52:21

Thank you so much for listening today and a huge thanks to Charlotte for sharing her incredible journey with us. Charlotte's story really highlights something so many of us struggle with the courage to disappoint others in order to honor ourselves. Her honesty about being a recovering people pleaser and her journey from trying to explain her choices to simply showing people through her actions is wisdom. We can all learn from. I was particularly moved by her redefinition of success as waking up excited every morning. Feeling aligned with your purpose and knowing you're contributing to something meaningful and knowing you're contributing something meaningful to others. It's such a stark contrast to the traditional metrics of climbing ladders and earning more money. The biggest takeaway for me is Charlotte's advice to tune in. In a world where we're constantly seeking answers outside ourselves, she reminds us that the real wisdom comes from getting quiet enough to hear our own inner voice. You can find Charlotte teaching Yoga and breathwork in Lombok Indonesia, or join her online sessions. All the details are in her Instagram bio, which will link in the show notes. Thanks for the inspiration, Charlotte, and for showing us what it looks like to choose alignment over approval every single time.

Speaker 5 53:36

Thank you so much for listening to today's episode, and thank you for being a part of the first series of successful af. I can't believe we've reached the end of series one. Over these past episodes, I've had the absolute privilege of speaking with 10 incredible guests who've shared their stories of redefining success on their own terms. Each conversation has been a masterclass in choosing authenticity over approval, purpose over profit, and alignment over everyone else's expectations. I'm deeply grateful to every single guest who has trusted me with their story and showed us what it really looks like to live successfully on your own terms. Their courage to step off the traditional roadmap and follow their path has been nothing short of inspiring. I'm also immensely grateful to you, our listeners. None of this would be possible without you, and so for anyone who listens, I'm immensely grateful, especially if you've ever sent me a note or a message about an episode, because I really do appreciate it and I read everything that I get. Now I'm taking a two week break from recording to recharge and reflect on everything we've learned together. When I return successful, AF will be moving to a fortnightly schedule that's every other week instead of weekly. This feels aligned with my own commitment to sustainable success and avoiding the burnout cycle that so many of us know all too well. It's a perfect example of practicing what we preach on this show, choosing wellbeing over hustle, and trusting that less can actually be more when it's done with intention. During this break, I'd love to hear from you if this series has resonated with you, drop me a line at successful af pod@gmail.com. I'm always looking for inspirational people to join me when we return. So if you know someone who's redefining success in their own unique way, nominate them or yourself, please do like and subscribe wherever you're listening. It really helps the show reach more people who need to hear these conversations. And remember, success isn't about ticking everyone else's boxes. It's about waking up excited for your day, feeling aligned with your purpose, and having the courage to disappoint others in order to honor yourself. Take care of yourselves and I'll see you in two weeks for the start of series two.