Bare Knuckles And Breakfast Tacos w/ Baxter Brewer

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome Back And Guest Intros
• 3:30 Calling Out Friends And Podcast Beef
• 6:50 Beer Pong Tournaments And Small-Town Rituals
• 10:30 The South Park Street Backyard Fight
• 15:30 Kids At Walmart And Event Mayhem Odds
• 18:40 Adult Toy Craze: Legos, Cards, Funkos
• 24:40 Engagements, Dark Humor, And Viking Funerals
• 28:00 Yo-Yos, School Assemblies, And Nostalgia
• 33:40 Immigration Hot Takes And Skilled Trades
• 40:20 Drinking, Hangovers, And Bachelor Party Lore
• 44:20 The Big Deer Story And Dad Dilemma
• 50:10 Archery Debates, DIY Bows, And Craft Skills
• 55:10 Campus Speakers, Clicks, And Sharia HOA Bits
• 1:00:30 Traffic, Language, And Wild Rants
• 1:05:30 Parasites, Ivermectin, And Garlic Myths
• 1:10:00 Local Pods, Sports, And Facebook Feuds
• 1:14:30 Uber Stories, Strange Riders, And Downtown
• 1:18:20 Hot Chicken, Honey’s Review, And Deals
• 1:22:00 Border Patrol Parodies And BBL Theories
• 1:26:30 Filters, Viral Managers, And Marketing Thirst
• 1:31:20 Pop-Up Hell, Local News, And Found Remains
• 1:36:10 Firehouse Fire, Spray Foam, And Welding Fires
• 1:41:40 Slap Fighting, Funeral Singer, Viral Bits
• 1:45:10 Breakfast Wars: Whataburger Vs McD’s
• 1:49:30 Oil Changes, Tires, And Shop Tales
• 1:54:00 Small-Town Supply Chains And Hardware Hunts

Transcript

Welcome Back And Guest Intros

SPEAKER_02 0:01

We're back. What's up, McNew? I want to introduce him. To my left. His mother was my teacher in eighth grade. Baxter Brewer.

SPEAKER_00 0:13

Yeah, yeah. To my right.

SPEAKER_02 0:15

Stephen McNew. What's up, dude? What up? Uh uh, what's up with Baxter in his show? I want to get without.

SPEAKER_03 0:23

We just haven't put out an episode in a while.

SPEAKER_01 0:26

I told you they're all busy making careers and babies and putting their shit on the book.

SPEAKER_02 0:30

But they can't do two hours. Like, that seems kind of sus.

SPEAKER_01 0:33

Don't threaten them. They'll do six hours and it'll be all beer pong.

SPEAKER_02 0:36

Well, at least have something to listen to while I'm driving.

SPEAKER_01 0:39

Uh so Baxter kind of we're we're glad that he joined us. We really enjoyed having him, and we would probably have the other guys on individually for sure, too, because it's just a kick. But he said that there might be a uh small case of the red ass going on.

SPEAKER_03 0:55

There's definitely some red ass going on.

SPEAKER_02 0:57

You think?

SPEAKER_03 0:58

I know. We've struck a nerve. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:01

Well, elaborate, please.

SPEAKER_03 1:04

Well, Chris last night he was drunk, but he said that according to Conrad, he's never listening to y'all again. Fagged! Chris, Chris.

SPEAKER_02 1:16

He's that butthurt over at the time. It's just a show we do. We're having fun here, Chris.

SPEAKER_03 1:21

I told Chris I was coming back on. He goes, What's their fucking problem with me? Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 1:26

I didn't I say I want to have him on too, didn't I say? Yeah, me too. I think he's just nervous. He's nervous.

unknown 1:31

He's nervous.

SPEAKER_02 1:32

His grandfather goes to the moon and he's he's afraid to get on a podcast. That's a real real estate agent.

SPEAKER_03 1:38

His grandpa didn't go to the moon. That's true. He lied about it. The Conrads are a long, there's a long line of liars there.

SPEAKER_02 1:44

I think lions take more guts than actually doing it sometimes.

SPEAKER_01 1:48

Committing to a lie for decades takes a lot of courage. You gotta really be be into something.

SPEAKER_02 1:55

I got my new microphone. What do you think about that?

SPEAKER_01 1:57

Uh I'll be interested to see if anyone could tell the difference. I probably could. Yeah. You look a little shorter over there sitting on your wallet. So oh yeah. Good one.

SPEAKER_02 2:05

What do you think about the show? The show was has it gotten better, do you think? Ours?

SPEAKER_03 2:09

Y'all, yeah, it's been pretty good. I listen to all of them.

SPEAKER_02 2:11

Y'all's gotten worse because I haven't heard it.

SPEAKER_03 2:14

You can't get worse if you don't put anything out, right? That's true.

SPEAKER_02 2:17

It's end on the high note. What were you saying about their uh their ping? What you had a ping pong tournament? What happened with that?

SPEAKER_03 2:24

Uh beer pong. A beer pong tournament. That's what we were talking about, beer pong for 12 minutes.

SPEAKER_02 2:28

Well, what happened? Who won?

SPEAKER_03 2:30

Who cared?

SPEAKER_02 2:31

Somebody's little sister?

SPEAKER_01 2:33

Oh god. Uh, but uh then I guess my y'all, y'all, y'all do that. Uh that's like a sport because my cousin, when he had his birthday party or whatever, that was like a all-day tournament.

SPEAKER_03 2:45

Like uh I guess What a nightmare. I mean We were just reminiscent saying you know we hadn't played beer pong in a while, so we should have a tournament for Mac's birthday. Uh and now it's just uh every year thing.

SPEAKER_01 2:56

I don't know if uh like a horseshoe tournament or a beer pong tournament I would rather spectate horseshoe tournament. Yeah. I think.

SPEAKER_03 3:05

I think it's just fun because you everybody gets drunker and drunker as they go. Would you do that through on horseshoe?

SPEAKER_02 3:11

But in the beer pong, you're like in a garage with like smelling each other's farts.

SPEAKER_03 3:14

And here you guys are almost three minutes of beer pong talk.

SPEAKER_02 3:18

Yeah, but we're ragging on it, though. It's different.

SPEAKER_01 3:20

I feel like we're sodomizing ourselves here.

SPEAKER_02 3:23

And you said that they y'all did one a couple weeks ago, but it just hadn't come out because uh Conrad's too busy drilling.

Calling Out Friends And Podcast Beef

SPEAKER_03 3:29

Yeah, well, it was my fault. I said I didn't have any edits, and then I did have one. I talked some shit about an ex-employee had to. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01 3:37

Get that out of there. Um, so um what's up? I I kind of want to talk about the elephant in the room. I know I'm kind of skipping around, but uh there's the big chingasos today in U Valley. The South Park Rumble.

SPEAKER_02 3:51

Tell us about it, uh, Baxter.

SPEAKER_03 3:53

So today at 4 p.m. on 909 South Park Street. 908 South 908 South Park Street, uh new famous rapper to U Valley Sauce's house. There's a last to get knocked out uh boxing tournament going on within the prize of$400. Anyone can join. I don't know if you had to pre-oh yeah, register, but I'm assuming this isn't like I think they, you know, they're just gonna take anybody they can get. And that's too much that you sign a release or anything. You just show up and fight. Yeah, one of the van meter guys was on there. Uh, you know, they're a big boxing family. He was like, I'm in. So we'll see. Right away.

SPEAKER_02 4:31

He's in.

SPEAKER_03 4:32

I hope uh everybody shows up to fight and then they do a warrant roundup.

SPEAKER_01 4:37

What are what are the chances that all these fuckers behave themselves and nobody it's like a less than 10% chance?

SPEAKER_03 4:44

Pulls a pistol arrow or a blade. So Sauce made a Facebook post and said, I it's coming to my attention. A lot of people be at my house. If y'all are gonna show up, act right. A lot of y'all think y'all are hard and ghetto and can't even get beat up. I saw that.

SPEAKER_01 4:57

He was laying the law down. Like, I like that. I expect you to show up. You're gonna have a little bit of goddamn manner. If you get beat up, just deal with it. Yeah, yeah. Pull yourself up and go. I I I I almost read that post of that make it sound like this is a family event. Like, I'm I'm expecting there to be some ninos running around. Yeah, there's gonna be some kids there. Yeah, I like that. I'll tell you the other night I went to Walmart at like 9 p.m. There's a lot of fucking kids in Walmart at 9 o'clock on the school night. Oh my god. Yeah, like young kids or like teenagers. Like, like the kind of kid, if you saw him at 9 o'clock at Walmart, you'd be like, what's wrong? What's going on in this kid's life?

SPEAKER_02 5:37

Just look sad. That age kid. Walking around sad. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:41

Um so the Puro Chingazos, 3 p.m. 908, South Park Street. Uh the winner dies tomorrow. I feel like this is gonna be something like in 20 years, they're gonna be like, one time, Mijo, they had the chingazos and your Uncle Pee-wee, he won it and he fucked everybody up. Like it's gonna be a this is a it's an event to report. History will be made today. Yeah, well.

SPEAKER_03 6:05

What are the odds the winner still has the$400 tomorrow? 0.0. It will get all spent today.

SPEAKER_01 6:12

You're gonna have to get your TV run, bro. I'm just telling you, if you win$400 in a Uvaldi bare knuckle boxing match, you're gonna have to get your face numb after that with your$400.

SPEAKER_02 6:21

You don't think the cops are gonna break it up though?

SPEAKER_03 6:24

Uh uh sauce put out that the cops were gonna be their security detail.

SPEAKER_02 6:28

Oh, well, there you go. So we're going, I'm going. You're going. Parents are out of town, I'm going.

SPEAKER_01 6:33

If they cancel it, we should move it to your house. Oh, fuck.

SPEAKER_02 6:36

No imagine that dogs running around.

SPEAKER_01 6:40

We could just do it in the hole in your neighbor's floor. They have like a little pit fighting. Oh shit.

Beer Pong Tournaments And Small-Town Rituals

SPEAKER_02 6:45

We ought to take it like an alligator pit, but it's a bunch of chihuahuas. Uh what's up, dude? Are we gonna do our our thing or talk about how bad their show is?

SPEAKER_01 6:58

No, no, we're gonna do we're gonna do our thing.

SPEAKER_00 7:00

We're gonna do our thing.

SPEAKER_01 7:01

Uh um, anyways. There's a lot going on. There's a lot going on today. I I don't think we're done talking about the the Royal Rumble. No, we're gonna get by there. I gotta I just gotta marinate on that a little bit more. It sounds like a hell of a thing. So uh Christmas time's coming up. Read this article the other day that talked about the toy market. 28% of the toy toy market is consumed by adults, grown-ass people.

SPEAKER_02 7:27

Those Legos, have you seen those? They sell them at like Walmart. Adults buy them.

SPEAKER_01 7:32

Dude, uh there's I actually feel like I could name five to ten adults that like therapy lego. Oh yeah. Like who? That are our age? Uh that probably like more than the 30s. I don't know if I know anyone in their 40s, but for sure in their 30s and down.

SPEAKER_02 7:51

Uh and then I was at some store the other day and they were selling those Pokemon cards. And the wait, the catcher's like, my son does these, he's 38, he loves it. I was like, 38 years old and Pokemon cards?

SPEAKER_03 8:05

I they're worth a lot of money.

SPEAKER_02 8:06

I know, but are they?

unknown 8:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:09

Are they worth your time? Are they worth your dignity?

SPEAKER_03 8:11

Card trading is a big deal. If you're a kid and you want to buy cards, you can't even get them at Walmart because there's a line of adults waiting for them to put them out.

SPEAKER_01 8:19

They will fight you like South Park Street. That's crazy to get those cards. I have a friend of mine who's two years older than me, so he's closer to 45, 43, 44, something like that. And he hits like the big Comic-Con card shows. Uh really. Whenever he comes down and brings his son hunting, like he brings like a pack of cards for whatever the whatever kids are gonna be there, he finds out what they're into and he brings like a pack like a cards for like whether it's football or Pokemon or graphics. That's gay, dude. I hate that.

SPEAKER_03 8:51

I I don't understand it. I think if you do that, you're a faggot. You can put any kind of monetary value on it, it's it's gonna be on anything you could.

SPEAKER_01 8:58

You know what? When I was a kid, what I liked was when someone came and visited, and then they either smoked cigarettes or dip snuff and left their truck unlocked, and then I'd get in there and steal some of it. That's what I was like, I hope this guy comes back. I'm gonna get me some Copenhagen and some Marlboro Reds. Hope he comes back.

SPEAKER_03 9:13

I don't want any of his fucking football cards.

SPEAKER_01 9:15

I don't want any football card fucks, Dick.

SPEAKER_02 9:17

Have you seen those like uh Funko? You know what a Funko pop is? No, they're like those little dolls. I don't know. The adults are buying those too. It's fucking stupid.

SPEAKER_03 9:25

Oh yeah, those are they're like beanie babies, but yeah, but they're for like millennials. Do you think these this is all new toys or some of these like vintage toys people are trying to like traders?

SPEAKER_01 9:35

I don't know that any of those vintage toy companies are big enough to track the metrics, maybe except for eBay or something like that. So I'm assuming maybe I don't know if$1.5 billion toy market for adults. Adult toys, though? Oh, I don't know if they count those. Bean flickers. Yeah. Bean flickers. Uh yeah, we're gonna need some clarity. If bean flickers are counted, I could see this why it's so big.

SPEAKER_02 10:03

But hold on, you're we had breakfast with your uh fiance this morning. It went pretty well. She listens to the show, she likes the show. Oh, she does?

SPEAKER_01 10:10

Yeah, she's a f she's a fan.

SPEAKER_02 10:13

She knows a lot, huh? You're a smart lady.

SPEAKER_03 10:15

Yeah, she reads a lot. What did you say? You were calling her your next wife? My next wife. That's good.

SPEAKER_02 10:24

See if that happens. I hope it does.

SPEAKER_01 10:25

Yeah, it's it's gonna it's going down in 2026. Oh, really?

SPEAKER_02 10:30

Yeah, is it uh is it uh um what is it, destination wedding or what?

SPEAKER_01 10:34

Yeah. Is it really? Yeah, it's a destination.

SPEAKER_02 10:37

Where?

SPEAKER_01 10:37

On the frio. Where you're gonna be buried. Yeah. Oh god. Uh for those of y'all that don't know, uh, my wish is if I if I go to the fight club today and someone punches me and knocks the life out of me the way I would like my funeral service. I want a Vikings funeral on the frio, and I hope it's a drought. Just leave me, just leave me on a pallet there. Yeah, some Mexican kid didn't find you. Yeah, shoot bottle rockets at me. Mijo, get away from that bloated corpse. That's all that's all I asked for, folks.

SPEAKER_03 11:10

That's it. That's funny. So put those longhorns up there on your head.

SPEAKER_01 11:14

Yeah. That'll be that'll look good. I'm gonna throw a tire on you like Texas style biking. So uh, so I don't know. There's a bunch of adults playing crabass with toys, and it's normalized now. Not for me, I hate that. I will tell you um before we get off the toy subject. Just read a book. When my grandfather was still alive, I was standing right here in this office, and I was talking to him and my uncle, and out of like I just like picked up a yo-yo somewhere, and I was doing like yo-yo, like the way someone would fidget spin nowadays. Yeah, you're just like and I had it in my hand, and I threw that down, and my grandfather started screaming at me. And he was like, Could you imagine if I ever walked into an office with a goddamn yo-yo? And like he like banished me from the office, like he didn't even want to see me for three days.

SPEAKER_02 12:02

I mean, I like that. If I saw my grandson, he was 40 years old, I'd beat the shit out of him.

SPEAKER_03 12:07

Uh speaking about that yo-yo deal. When I went to school in Austin, every year when I was in elementary school, we would go for an assembly where a guy would do a yo-yo presentation and then sell us yo-yos.

SPEAKER_01 12:17

I think we didn't. They're still doing it. They're still doing it.

SPEAKER_03 12:21

Like, like, shut stop learning for multiple hours so this guy can come do yo-yo tricks and then sell you yo-yos, dude.

SPEAKER_02 12:29

I wish I did that with McClovy and gave us and gave us dolls.

SPEAKER_01 12:32

Like, what awesome, dude. What are we? They're still doing that. They're still doing it. And like he leaves some yo-yos like on consignment at the school because after the performance, my kids came back and they're like, I need 10 bucks. They were Jonesing for 10 bucks. Got to have a yo-yo. You gotta have a yo-yo. Let's go to Walmart. Uh yo-yos are cheap. It's like one of the only toys that's going down in price. You can get a yo-50 cents for five bucks now. When we were like back in the day, they were 20. That's true.

SPEAKER_03 12:59

There's still a guy out there slinging yo-yos and he's going to break. That makes that makes my heart happy. Yeah, I'm glad that's still going on.

SPEAKER_02 13:05

Remember McClovio? I do remember if he came out with his own brand of ventriloquist dummies, I would have bought one. Yeah, I love that shit. Yeah. Just made fun of my mom with the doll.

SPEAKER_03 13:14

Would they is that what y'all had instead of yo-yo's a ventriloquist guy?

SPEAKER_02 13:18

He would come to the school. He was good, dude.

SPEAKER_01 13:20

His the the guy's name was Nacho. Yeah, Nacho. And the ventriloquist doll was Monclovio. And they would come and do it like a like a skit. They'd be talking shit talking to each other.

SPEAKER_00 13:30

I'm Moncloy! Dude, it was so good. It was really good. I love that. Yeah. Take me back.

SPEAKER_02 13:36

I miss that. He died though, didn't he? He did. He did die. RIP rest in power. Uh Nacho. Uh if every immigrant vanished in one day with decide to keep Yeah, it would. It'd be better.

SPEAKER_01 13:51

Society would collapse.

SPEAKER_02 13:52

I know, but we're gonna get a new iPhone next year.

SPEAKER_03 13:55

No more concrete. No more concrete. I can do that.

SPEAKER_02 13:58

I can mix concrete.

SPEAKER_03 13:59

If we got rid of immigrants, there would be no more concrete. That's fine.

SPEAKER_01 14:04

And how many days would it take to be like a how far are we from a concrete drone? Drone? Like a like a some kind of like drone or AI or something that can finish concrete.

SPEAKER_02 14:16

They just got those ready mixed trucks like going like 10 years ago and they've been around forever. We're talking about finishers. Oh finishers.

SPEAKER_01 14:23

Yeah. A long time. I mean, tying forms and finishing is like an art form is heavy, hard work that's predominantly done by people that are here for j they they hadn't been here long. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:35

But they but they like mastered it in short time. I feel like anybody can do that.

SPEAKER_01 14:40

That's something I've is is we'll get child labor to do that. Is there any American Masons? Like, is there is that still a thing? Like you can become a skilled master Mason in the United States.

SPEAKER_02 14:52

In the Northeast, I feel like you can.

SPEAKER_01 14:54

Yeah, I don't know any down here. I I don't either, but that's like a an unbelievable trade and an amazing skill, and people that can do awesome stuff that you get almost zero respect for or credit. And like, but you're a you're a master.

SPEAKER_04 15:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 15:12

There's kind of one guy in town who is the Mason guy, and he has plenty of help. He does all the houses, entrances, and everything, and all his workers come from Mexico.

SPEAKER_02 15:20

Make an old.

SPEAKER_03 15:22

Oh man, sorry. Excuse me.

SPEAKER_02 15:23

He's in Mexican. Oh, is he?

Kids At Walmart And Event Mayhem Odds

SPEAKER_03 15:25

Yeah. Okay. Well, he's I mean, he lives here. Yeah. But his guys, he said, yeah, they'll they'll come on Monday and then they'll go back Friday. I don't know how they're coming across.

SPEAKER_02 15:33

I wasn't y'all's podcast and you're talking about uh working at the field lot or something and stacking bags. Is that you I'm talking about?

SPEAKER_03 15:40

Oh, working at the produce shit.

SPEAKER_02 15:42

You said that the Mexicans work twice as fast as Americans.

SPEAKER_03 15:44

Yeah, or three times as fast.

SPEAKER_02 15:45

Aren't you just taking advantage of those poor fuckers?

SPEAKER_03 15:48

Well, they get paid by the box.

SPEAKER_02 15:49

What about the and the Jamaicans come over and do it too?

SPEAKER_01 15:52

We only had people from Mexico. I have heard that there are produce crews of different styles from different origins that come. And I don't know if Jamaica has a produce crew. I know they have a bobsled team. They used to.

SPEAKER_02 16:08

Dude, that movie was awesome. I think I cried when they flipped over. I was like five years old.

SPEAKER_01 16:14

In the age of science and all this shit, I don't give a fuck about Michael Jackson's hologram. Bring back John Candy. How about that? Give me Uncle Buck, too. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:22

AI John Candy.

SPEAKER_01 16:23

Yeah. He'll be on a Zimpic. He'll just be skinnier. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 16:28

But don't you think you're just taking advantage of those people who are desperate?

SPEAKER_01 16:31

Well, no, they're here on the H2A program.

SPEAKER_02 16:33

We should get rid of that though.

SPEAKER_03 16:34

But a lot of, like you said, they get performance-based pay. So you have to make sure they make a certain amount, but if you pay them per box, they make more.

SPEAKER_02 16:45

But what about the Americans? Do they get any incentive?

SPEAKER_03 16:49

I I don't know. They're a c they work for a contractor, and I don't know how they got paid.

SPEAKER_01 16:53

A lot of the times they don't come back the next time. They don't make a week. Yeah. From from my understanding of it.

SPEAKER_02 16:59

It's like when me and the Feltis are running at the work at the onion shed. We quit. We both quit like after four days.

SPEAKER_03 17:04

And that's that's why we can't get rid of the H2A program.

SPEAKER_02 17:07

It's like I'm not smoking any half smok any more half cigarettes a day. Damn onion shed.

SPEAKER_01 17:11

Yeah. You know, I think that there's probably a lot of people who would enjoy working in agriculture if it was done differently. But you would have to completely change everything. I think there's a ton of people that would like, I would like to be outside and like get some exercise and do stuff, but they just don't want some asshole in an F-350 with his window crack smoking a cigarette, yelling at him and cut off.

SPEAKER_02 17:35

That sounds like you. You're an F-350.

SPEAKER_01 17:38

And you agree? Like I No, I agree. But I don't think that the industry is gonna change. No.

SPEAKER_03 17:46

I think all kind of like manual labor jobs, the problem is uh people nowadays don't like to take jokes and stuff or just be yelled at.

SPEAKER_02 17:55

And yeah, so we that's how you learn though, get yelled at.

SPEAKER_03 17:58

We talked about nobody takes the time to say, hey, this is how you do this and this is why you do this. It's you know, you're I'm guilty of it too. You're like, just pay attention to what everybody else is doing and do it. Yeah, that's a easy one. Wouldn't you be fucking stupid?

SPEAKER_01 18:08

Yeah, that's that's that's sound like a grandpa.

SPEAKER_02 18:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:12

But remember that story we talked about a couple months ago where the guy on the lawn crew shot everybody at lunch in Houston? That's what happened. Like, they're like, fuck you, idiot. Like someone blew leaves on him or something, and he just got pissed off.

SPEAKER_02 18:24

Yeah, but his sister's probably some dyke lesbian.

SPEAKER_01 18:27

I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 18:29

I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 18:29

Have another natural like they're just variables. I don't know. I'm not I'm not leaving that out. I'm gonna start, I'm gonna be real from now on.

Adult Toy Craze: Legos, Cards, Funkos

SPEAKER_01 18:37

So Ox brought himself a big old Kowamba. What is that? A 32-ounce bottle? Yeah, natural light.

SPEAKER_02 18:43

I bought one for Baxter too.

SPEAKER_01 18:44

Yeah, but you brought him 25 ounces.

SPEAKER_03 18:46

You're like, Well, he's hungover. I tell you what, I was shaking before I started doing it. I feel like a Gary Stewart song, man. I'm I'm trying my best to hard to get it.

SPEAKER_02 18:53

I can feel I can hear the vibration. I thought you were just nervous.

SPEAKER_01 18:55

Yeah, that's kind of what I miss the most about drinking. It's not actually drinking, it's the third day in a row of drinking. That's what I miss. Like, I didn't even feel good.

SPEAKER_02 19:04

No, fuck that. I feel like I have gut rot or rot.

SPEAKER_01 19:07

Especially like holiday season, like right now, you're like, oh, you hit a little Christmas party on a Thursday, have a little hangover on Friday, and then like Friday afternoon after work, you hit it again, and then Saturday, and next thing you know, Sunday, you're just I'm gonna cook some ribs a day, have a couple of beers that third, fourth day of drinking.

SPEAKER_02 19:22

You've had a problem, dude. When we went to Clint's uh bachelor party in Segin, and we're all drinking uh Bud Light like at seven in the morning. Oh, that's so fun. It was okay.

SPEAKER_03 19:34

You have to start drinking at seven in the morning on a bachelor party.

SPEAKER_01 19:36

Yeah, hunting trips, bachelor parties, those 7 a.m. beers. That's that's for that's friendship right there. That's pals. You just finished your last one at 3 a.m. Yes. First and ten.

SPEAKER_02 19:48

So your son getting off the your son shot a deer last night. Last night?

SPEAKER_01 19:52

Uh yeah. And I'm the hell of a deer. I'm kind of torn. Like, did I make a bad dad move? And it was like I had no intention of letting him shoot a big deer like that. Like just wooden, like he's he's shot a couple of deer at this point, shot some calls, a six point, a seven point, uh, a doe. So he shot three. I think he shot three deer so far over the past four years, five years.

SPEAKER_02 20:20

I've never shot one.

SPEAKER_01 20:22

And um so he's he's wanting to go hunting. We sat in the stand, we watched a bunch of deer last week and didn't take a shot, didn't do anything, it just we couldn't get a shot, do anything. And so we were kind of hunting a call buck today and that or yesterday, and then that big deer came in and literally he moved so different than everyone else. Like his body had you could just tell he was old. Like the way he moved was old. He looked old, he was stumbling, uh, he was beat up. Yeah, and all the C B CWD. This fucking deer looks he was fucked up. Uh uh, he's just like been beaten on the rut. The rut just kind of stopped a couple days ago or a day or two ago, and uh looked rough. And so then I was like, I don't know, this deer's really old. I don't want it to get eaten by coyotes or fucking just lay down and die. Yeah. And then at the same point, like I'm taking him hunting, and I felt would have felt bad if I was just like, give me the gun and shot it myself. Because that's a bigger deer than I've ever shot by far. I can even tell you. Let me teach you a lesson in patience. Go ahead and give me that. Give me that gun. I feel like I might have dropped the ball there. Wait, why? Wait, why? Because you wanted to shoot it? Well, no, but if you if you missed it or something, like have I ruined him?

SPEAKER_02 21:39

Like oh, because that's the biggest one you'll probably ever see for a while.

SPEAKER_01 21:42

Yeah, yeah. Uh no, no. And oh no. And so uh there's gonna be b bigger deer at some time, but like that's not I guess I kind of look at it like you've shot yours, now it's somebody else's yeah, turn or if you're gonna charge for somebody to shoot that deer, how much would you charge them? I don't know anything about that world. Baxter could probably uh that deer was probably worth like$3,500.

SPEAKER_03 22:06

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02 22:06

So that's not bad.

SPEAKER_03 22:07

Yeah, it's not if you just showed up no meals and lodging just to shoot that deer, probably$3,500.

SPEAKER_02 22:12

I wouldn't pay that. So I don't I don't like that deer hunting. It's like shooting rats.

SPEAKER_01 22:16

Um and it's when it's way more fun to shoot them out of a spotlight. When I was a kid, a deer like that was was was more um rare. Nowadays, big deer like that, people are breeding them and and they're they're more readily available. Uh you you can shoot giant F and deer anywhere. Like the only thing that's kind of cool about it is it's like it's off of a place like where you know the story of it. Like that's that's it, really. Because you like Baxter said, like, yeah, I don't want to go spend 3,500 bucks on a deer, but you you can get on Facebook and go get you a deer like that. Uh so, anyways, uh I was kind of worried like I've ruined him, but we had a good time. He was pumped. My uncle was out there with us, he was pumped. The guy, um, Steve, that's out on the ranch, he's ex-game warden, he was pumped up. Like everybody, it was a good time.

SPEAKER_02 23:05

Your dad's on heroin, he's pumped up, yeah. He is juiced in Denver.

SPEAKER_03 23:09

Uh I don't think you'll I don't think you ruined him just you know next year, be like, probably not gonna get to do that again.

SPEAKER_01 23:15

Yeah, you think he'll be let down? So I I'm hoping like I could transition him into something like you're really enjoying this. Like maybe maybe you should try the bow and arrow stuff, or maybe you should try uh, you know, doing make it more sporty or whatever. However many does y'all have to shoot or whatever. I don't like that archery shit.

SPEAKER_02 23:34

I feel like you're you're so bored you can get and shoot why don't you just kiss a man? I mean, it's the same thing.

SPEAKER_01 23:39

Yeah, you you the you were bringing that up. The archery is just like it's requires. Uh you don't you don't think so? I mean why?

SPEAKER_02 23:49

Because you're like pulling a bow, you have all this crap on you. Like just get out there and shoot the thing with a rifle. I agree.

SPEAKER_01 23:57

I don't bow hunt because they may go. I have a friend that made his own bow and arrow, like an Indian recurve bow, and he's killed a few deer with it. And like so he's a super gay. He he like I'm wildly impressed. Like when I'm watching this, I was like, fuck, you know, if shit goes down, I hope he's close by. Where does he live? Santone. Oh, okay. And uh he's super handy, like he's he's the he's a once AM, super handy guy, can do kind of Sagefully could do that. Exactly. And uh Sage. But like when I'm like watching all that, I'm like, I don't know that I could do any of that shit.

SPEAKER_02 24:35

You could do it. You just you don't have the interest.

Engagements, Dark Humor, And Viking Funerals

SPEAKER_01 24:38

I I don't have it either. So I just say I appreciate it. Like yeah, yeah, like somebody who makes that sourdough bread, like I think that's gay as fuck, too.

SPEAKER_02 24:47

But I'll eat it though. I want some of it. Bring me a loaf. Bring me a loaf and then go kill yourself. Oh man, that waller's terrible, wouldn't it? Oh, fuck you. What's uh what is he gonna join us from now on? I wouldn't mind that.

SPEAKER_01 25:07

Oh, we should permanently kidnap him. There'd be like a huge riff of falling out of friends. I'll think about it. I don't know. We're gonna we're gonna give an open invitation. We'll let you know when it's closed, but right now it's open for the rest of the year.

SPEAKER_03 25:20

All right. Have y'all heard the new podcast in Uvaldi?

SPEAKER_00 25:25

No. No.

SPEAKER_03 25:26

Uh In Laws and Out of Bounds. I like the name. Uh it's a it's a sports podcast, and on Mondays they just talk about all the NFL and uh college football games. That sounds good. And they talk about all of them. Pretty much every team in the top 25 or any big rivalry games. They give like a full rundown. Those guys are serious.

SPEAKER_02 25:42

Who's who is it?

SPEAKER_03 25:42

It's Hagen Mylam and Emilio Navarro.

SPEAKER_02 25:45

Oh, I know the Mylams, I don't know that guy, though. Uh interesting.

SPEAKER_03 25:48

Pretty good? Yeah, it's it's really good. That's cool.

SPEAKER_01 25:51

And they get through it quick, but they know sports, so it's how long is uh episode? Because that's a lot of content.

SPEAKER_02 25:57

Uh what's it called? Inbound and inbounds. In-laws and out of bounds. They're brother-in-laws, that's why it's called Inbred and Out of Bounds.

unknown 26:03

Let's see.

SPEAKER_03 26:04

I usually listen to the college football part, and I don't watch the NFL, so I stop it. I want to say they're around like an hour, hour and a half.

SPEAKER_01 26:10

I want to turn my son on to that. He he's into all the sports. He listens to Nana's sports podcasts.

SPEAKER_03 26:15

Are you a Cowboys fan? I don't care about the NFL. Uh one of my did you see me get into it with my old football coach on Facebook? No. I posted, I said, uh, there's a lot of uh a lot of really excited pretenders out there today talking about all the UT fans after the AM game. And he cut I haven't talked to him in like 13 or 14 years, and he commented on my post, here come the mad Aggies, y'all got outplayed, get over it. And I said, Well, when you coached my football team, we lost and got outplayed a lot. So this is nothing new to me. Crickets? No, he commented funny, yeah, and y'all lost the first round of the playoffs, like all kinds of shit on it. He was pissed.

SPEAKER_02 26:55

I don't like new T. I saw like a whole group of like Indians.

SPEAKER_03 26:59

I just love that I'm living rent-free in my old football coaches. That is too funny. Yeah, I'll show it to you after. He was pissed.

SPEAKER_01 27:06

I I like that.

SPEAKER_03 27:07

Like he had to jump in there and like Yeah, he well, because he said, uh, I root for the Cowboys, but I didn't play for them. Should I stop? And I said, I think it's equally stupid to root for the Longhorns and the Cowboys.

Yo-Yos, School Assemblies, And Nostalgia

SPEAKER_01 27:20

I saw that part of the comment. I didn't see the other. I saw that on a second. Yeah, no, he kept okay. Interesting. Uh I had that that game really chaps a lot of people's asses. And it it really couldn't have gone more textbook than you're undefeated, your team's doing better than ever, you're on your way to the SEC championship, which you've never been to. And you lose to your shitty. You just give your coach uh an extension, everything's going right, then you go to your rival and get beaten. And like basically, you're you can still win the national title if you play up and win out, but you still lost the name. Momentarily, yeah, you've lost the UT. And then uh I had lunch with Aggie buddy of mine the other day, and I was like, I know you don't want to hear this. I was like, but really, your chances of winning the title are just as good. Texas kind of I know you nobody wanted to lose to Texas, but they did you a favor. Like, you got one you don't have to go get beat up by Georgia. Yeah, you got one less game to play. You're gonna get a one more home game uh so you can have more NIL money. Uh like I don't know what to do. It's not the worst thing that's ever happened, but it's but if you're an Aggie is fucking horrible. Yeah. And I loved it.

SPEAKER_02 28:29

What's up with those cheer squads though?

SPEAKER_03 28:32

The yellow leaders? Yeah. Yeah, that's kind of gay.

SPEAKER_02 28:34

Come on, kinda.

SPEAKER_03 28:36

I never did. Man, I'm a two percenter. I only went to two games, uh-huh, like actually in the stadium when I went there.

SPEAKER_02 28:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 28:43

Because I was Uberin.

SPEAKER_02 28:45

Uberin? Oh, you're oh, you're driving?

SPEAKER_03 28:47

I Uber drove and you make a lot of money Uberin on game days.

SPEAKER_01 28:51

I I have a ton of friends that were Aggies or went to AM, and it's really funny. Like, I don't really have any red ass friends. Because you can't joke around with a red ass. Like, they'll be pissed off for for years, you know. They'll be polite because Aggies are polite by nature, but they will under their breath, they will not fucking like you at all. Fucking piece of shit. Yeah. Don't invite them back over here. I've gone to play in the Aggie golf scramble. I've gotten like obligated myself into that a couple of times. And uh, they put on a really nice event. It's a first class deal, they feed you and everything. There's just a lot of fucking Aggies. Yeah. So I'll leave it at that.

SPEAKER_02 29:34

And when you're Ubering, anything weird happened?

SPEAKER_03 29:37

Yeah, one of my first Uber rides was this uh really drunk elderly couple and had a I had a diesel truck and it was a little bit taller. It didn't have a lift on it, it just naturally taller truck. And this lady was fat and she couldn't get in, and she was halfway in, and her husband was trying to push her. Like, get your fucking ass in there. Oh my god, get in there, and I was like, Man, y'all should just get a smaller car. And the owner of the bar called, like, got the Uber. He said, No, they're going with you.

SPEAKER_00 30:05

Well, they want them out of here.

SPEAKER_03 30:07

So I got him in there, and the old man was like, Can you take me to a bad neighborhood? I want some drugs. Are you kidding me? I'm not kidding. I told him, I said, Look, I'm taking you to the hotel and you're getting the fuck out of my car. He was pissed. He's like, Where is a bad neighborhood? Like, he this man wanted to go to a bad neighborhood.

SPEAKER_02 30:25

That just showed you the world is bigger than you'll ever even realize. Yeah. I will tell you it takes all kinds.

SPEAKER_01 30:32

But usually, like drug drug people, they can find that shit anywhere. It's like unbelievable. It's like a guy who can witch for water and they go, That's a special talent. You get a crackhead, you drop that fucker off. You can drop them off in Provo, Utah, and that time bitch will find them some crack.

SPEAKER_02 30:49

We can just go downtown. I think that's the key. Downtown, that's where all you're gonna find all that good shit.

SPEAKER_00 30:54

So I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 30:55

Maybe find uh find some in 908 South Park Street. What? No, uh huh.

SPEAKER_02 31:01

They're not gonna sell drugs to me.

SPEAKER_01 31:03

No, they're not. Maybe you'll let this Sunday, Sunday, Sunday.

SPEAKER_02 31:06

I'm going, dude. I'm gonna I'm gonna drive by.

SPEAKER_01 31:08

And do I drive by? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:10

So I like it.

SPEAKER_02 31:11

I like it.

SPEAKER_03 31:12

MAGA speakers on college campuses.

SPEAKER_02 31:14

Yeah, what's is that good or is that stupid? Like Charlie Kirk and LM? Is that dumb? I feel like it's kinda well, he's dead. Not him.

SPEAKER_01 31:23

Like TP USA, like what they do. Nobody does that shit to change someone's mind. They do it for the clicks and to be in an argument.

SPEAKER_02 31:31

That's why I don't like it.

SPEAKER_01 31:32

That's why I agree with you. I agree with you 110%. Would the Christian coalition people come to tech? Uh I don't I wasn't on campus enough to know.

SPEAKER_03 31:44

We used to have this guy come for a week once a year. He'd go to all the campuses and he had a big straw hat, and he was a preacher, and he had this lady who she would call the girls sluts when they were walking around. Um, get a big fight going. Yeah, it was fun to watch though.

SPEAKER_02 31:57

Yeah, I get it.

SPEAKER_01 31:58

I feel like anytime there's like any of those. I will say that one thing about Charlie Kirk, at least he was like a normal looking from 50 yards away, he looked like normal. But usually, like you're saying, when those people are on your campus, they've got a stick, like they're they got a giant wooden cross or a stupid hat or dress like they churn butter, or you know, like just something's something stupid.

SPEAKER_02 32:20

Or they're two ang on their waistband, they have like a gun ready.

SPEAKER_01 32:23

Yeah, something. So, I mean, I get it that you're right. I'm glad you and it goes for both sides, but nobody is going to go, you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna do my best to engage with someone and change their mind.

SPEAKER_02 32:35

And they're just like, no, I'm going to throw some gas on this fire. I'm gonna punch somebody and they're not gonna know who it was.

SPEAKER_03 32:41

That guy uh who held the sign, we're all Charlie Kirk now on the square. There was some there was some beef on Facebook about the ESD, and he commented on there something like uh, I think we should get an ESD and get a full paid fire department. Change my mind. Like Charlie Kirk. I was like, that's good.

SPEAKER_02 32:59

Should I go to Whataburger? Yeah, change my mind.

SPEAKER_01 33:04

So uh so on the same deal of the people college campuses, what about the sharia law? So you think if you have like a sharia neighborhood.

SPEAKER_02 33:12

Shout out Sharia.

SPEAKER_01 33:14

If you have just like a sharia neighborhood, like if you're doing your own thing, like it's like a HOA.

SPEAKER_02 33:19

Sharia, HOA. This is my deal. If you're gonna do Sharia Law, if you're gonna do Sharia Law in your own little backyard, I think that's okay. So I don't care about what happens there.

SPEAKER_03 33:28

You could throw acid on your wife and it ain't my wife.

SPEAKER_02 33:32

I mean, I'm not sure. I'll throw some uh orange juice, that's acid.

SPEAKER_03 33:35

Like if it's like your son comes out of the closet, you just pelt them with rocks.

SPEAKER_01 33:41

I'm the I don't really give a shit what anybody does if they have like their neighborhood or they're like four blocks or whatever. But we've we we don't allow that. And and I'm not saying like we should go back to this, but if you go to pretty much any town anywhere and pull deed records before 1950, they'll have deals that said uh no blacks in this neighborhood, no Jews in this neighborhood. Yeah, uh, you can't like have a single woman living in this neighborhood. There's still laws on the books in Lubbock that no more than three unrelated people can live in a house together. Oh, it's like that in most colleges. Because it's old but you know, yeah, but and they've set these laws, and like I don't know. I feel like we selectively enforce this shit. Like if a bunch of people want to get together and do Sharia law, like there's yeah, there's complaining on Facebook about it, but no the police aren't over there stopping them. But like if someone does a neighborhood that go, we're we're only letting white people in this neighborhood, like someone's gonna go there and go, we can't have that. And and you can't have that.

SPEAKER_02 34:45

Well, like then, what about them like all praying on like the sidewalk? Like all those Muslims do. You see that? There'll be like 50 of them, they're all praying on the sidewalk.

SPEAKER_03 34:53

They have to I think they have to pray like six or seven times a day. And when it's time, I mean it's time.

SPEAKER_02 34:59

It's like taking a shit.

SPEAKER_01 35:01

But but there's plenty of crazy people in the world. Like there there'll be some, like you we're talking about this, and in two weeks we're gonna see like there's gonna be one of those neighborhoods where they're all plant praying on a sidewalk, and there's gonna be some fucking asshole wearing a bulletproof vest walking his pet potbillied pig down this sidewalk. I've seen that being like, get out of the goddamn way and buff sidewalk.

SPEAKER_02 35:18

Like if you're if you're not blocking the sidewalk or the street, and you're in I think that's fine. I'm okay with it.

SPEAKER_03 35:26

Fuck anybody who blocks traffic or I don't like that at all.

SPEAKER_01 35:30

Oh my gosh, we went to uh in the San Antonio the other night and like left Uvalde about five o'clock and hit the tail end of traffic, and I had one of the kids with me, and I was like, I've got a million-dollar idea. I'm gonna make a bumper sticker and it says honk if traffic makes you racist. And I think I could sell it to anyone. I think I've seen that. I I think anyone would buy that because nobody likes traffic and everybody's a moron. Like it makes you sexist, it makes you racist.

SPEAKER_02 35:57

That's like when the n-words come slipping down every now and then.

SPEAKER_01 36:00

So I don't use any words like that when I have the kids in the car. Because I'm like, I'm if if it's learned behavior, it's not going to be taught behavior by me. You know what I mean? Like, I I can't.

SPEAKER_02 36:12

That sounds like some feminist bullshit.

SPEAKER_01 36:14

I can do that good, I can do good enough for that. Like if they learn it, I don't have to teach it. That's fine. And so I have to find words. And so now instead of like dropping like a racial epithet, I call it, I go, you fucking child molester. I call people child molesters.

SPEAKER_02 36:31

I mean, for your kids?

SPEAKER_01 36:32

Yeah, like traffic that I hate. And the kids like I think it may be worse because the kids are talking about goddamn, you call people child molesters. And people don't need child molesters around here. Yeah. Well, they need to I always tell them you gotta watch out. There's kid touchers are everywhere.

SPEAKER_02 36:48

I don't mind black people, or I don't, I'm not racist at all. I love it. I love them. I love black people, they're the best. Although today when I went to get those beers, there's a black guy getting uh air in his tire. I locked my car before I went in, but I would do that any other time. That's not racist.

SPEAKER_03 37:07

I'm glad you just wanted to share.

SPEAKER_02 37:09

Well, I've had 32 answers.

SPEAKER_03 37:10

You're non-racist. I feel pretty good right now. Your non-racist story of the morning.

SPEAKER_01 37:14

I can't believe that you've drank that quart of beer and you're still putting air in your tire instead of wind. So I'm pretty proud of you. Wait, what? That you're not putting the wind in your tire.

SPEAKER_02 37:24

What is that?

SPEAKER_01 37:25

Air. You never heard where you need to put some wind in your yummer. No, that's some white trash shit. Yeah, you don't get off your car and don't you gotta put wind in your tire. Never heard that. Crystal City. Let me know what the football is.

SPEAKER_03 37:36

Football stadium used to have a sign that said no parking to get off the car.

unknown 37:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 37:40

Yeah, you just said that get off the car. Get off the car. I think I said that one time when I was with Nathan Demon. He was like, get off the car, you fucking messy women.

SPEAKER_01 37:48

Uh and then it's just like funny. Like it I can remember back when smoking was prevalent. Like, hey, turn off your cigarette.

SPEAKER_00 37:55

Yes, dude. Yeah. I miss those days. I do too. Probably still around. I just don't hang out with anybody.

SPEAKER_01 38:00

Oh. Uh have you seen all this? Is it just my algorithm, or do y'all see this in your Facebook and Instagram shit? Now, like everyone, they're like, You got worms in your gut, everyone's got parasites. That's what he says. You got bloated belly or whatever.

SPEAKER_02 38:15

On your show, you and Chris Condra are talking about that. That everybody in Valley has worms because they have no ass and big belly.

SPEAKER_03 38:20

Everybody looks like they have worms, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 38:22

I told my mom that she's like, that's funny.

SPEAKER_03 38:23

That's true. That might be true. Uh the I stole that when I was a kid. My dad brought one of his buddies from Granberry down here, and he was like, Why does everybody down here look like they have fucking worms? No asses. Everybody's got a big old gut. It's like got me some.

SPEAKER_01 38:39

Uh I but I feel like I might have worms. I think we got worms. Well, are you taking ivermectin? I'm not, but I'm considering starting. I might need to, yeah. How much would you think you would have to take? You're you're an Agman.

SPEAKER_02 38:54

That's not worms, that's fidale.

SPEAKER_03 38:56

I I think you just read the you read the bottle and it tells you how many CCs per hundred pounds. But is it like a treatment you do like monthly, every six months? I only treat my animals when they look like they have worms, but I don't do preventative because I feel like I'm like over in New Zealand, uh, they can't kill their worms anymore. So now they're doing herd immunity, they just cull off the ones that get the parasites.

SPEAKER_01 39:23

Is that some kind of communist shit, or just a better way of doing it, or you have an opinion?

SPEAKER_03 39:27

The medications they have no longer work, so this is all they can do. Oh they haven't made a medication that can kill the worms they have. Because they do so many sheep. They've yeah, they're they've they've been preventative medicating for so long that it no longer works.

SPEAKER_01 39:40

That they're immune. I hate those.

SPEAKER_03 39:41

And there's certain herds of I used to drench goats a lot in high school, and there's certain herds like you gotta give them a whole lot more than you give other people's they just build up in immunity. Yeah, because the worms build up an immunity.

SPEAKER_01 39:52

Holy shit. Where do you get worms?

SPEAKER_02 39:54

Well, wouldn't if you had worms, wouldn't you like asshole itch?

SPEAKER_03 39:57

I don't know. I've never had them.

SPEAKER_01 39:59

I think that's That's the one in the deep. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 40:02

You're just scratching your butthole.

SPEAKER_03 40:04

I believe it's mainly from uh and I could be wrong, but I think it's mainly from eating, like in the same areas, and you're like if you pour your feet out on the ground. That's why they do feed troughs. Because you're eating where you shit, and then you get the worms from that. Okay.

Drinking, Hangovers, And Bachelor Party Lore

SPEAKER_01 40:18

That makes sense. If shout out, you need some feed troughs. We got plenty of pipes.

SPEAKER_02 40:22

And a blowtory and a torch.

SPEAKER_03 40:24

I remember one time when I was a kid, my dad gave a dog a shot, and he's he said, This dog has worms, and I hope it's not heart worms. Because if I give him the shot, it'll they'll all die and clog his heart up. And my dad gave him the shot and the dog died.

SPEAKER_00 40:37

Damn it. Damn, that's right.

SPEAKER_01 40:40

Should do that with people like a game show.

SPEAKER_02 40:42

Oh my god. Take the shot.

SPEAKER_01 40:46

The new COVID vaccine, though. Is it worms or will you die of a heart attack?

SPEAKER_02 40:51

I won't can't wait for that one.

SPEAKER_01 40:52

For$400. For$400.

SPEAKER_02 40:55

Yeah, they should just do that instead of the fight.

SPEAKER_01 40:58

I like it. So, anyways, and uh all these people sites deals have been popping up on social media like parasites, and they show like a fake worm, it just looks like a really long condom with turds on it. That's what these worms look like. It's intensive. I'd rather I'd eat that. But one popped up the other day is like, if you got a chef garlic up your butt, it'll kill the worms.

SPEAKER_00 41:19

No.

SPEAKER_01 41:19

And I was like, dude, somebody just saw this and they're like, I gotta go to H E B. Like, right now, one person tried.

SPEAKER_03 41:25

Do you leave it in the in the shell? Do you have to peel the cloves out?

SPEAKER_01 41:28

I was like, can I get jarlic? I don't know if I want like the whole bulb, you know.

SPEAKER_02 41:31

How the hell would you get jarlic in your ass? With a funnel?

SPEAKER_01 41:34

It's like real small though, you know, like it'd be better off than a whole bulb. I don't know what anything can I use for me anyway.

SPEAKER_02 41:41

Whenever I had my hemorrhoids and I had to stick those things up my ass, I wanted to kill myself. It was bad. I feel like a homosexual.

SPEAKER_03 41:52

Gonna start bow hunting.

SPEAKER_01 41:55

So I don't know if I don't know if anybody puts garlic up your butt. I mean, if you want to go, let us know. Let us know. Let us know if it works.

SPEAKER_02 42:01

Let us know, Chris Conrad.

SPEAKER_01 42:03

Yeah, that's what I was thinking. I bet Chris knows. He's a guy who knows things about random things. Yeah, he might know. Or Conrad.

SPEAKER_02 42:08

Are we ever gonna get him in here? I have an extra little outlet for him.

SPEAKER_01 42:11

I told him that I wanted him on. He's like, I don't know.

unknown 42:14

God a bitch.

SPEAKER_01 42:16

We're officially inviting you on because we think you're interesting and you can bring value.

SPEAKER_02 42:21

As long as you stop Pat, buddy. Stop selling houses and you can come on. Stop ruining you, Valde.

SPEAKER_01 42:28

Um saw some politician in Nashville is running for Congress, and they found where she was on a podcast like 10 years ago talking shit about how she's You didn't hear her say that. She said that she's like, I hate country music. I hate country music, I hate the bachelorette parties, I hate the pedal cat, like any like the whole identity of Nashville, and they're throwing it up. I can't wait till this podcast politically buries somebody.

SPEAKER_02 42:52

I don't like Nashville either, but not for those reasons.

SPEAKER_01 42:54

Yeah. Like who what I think hot chicken's overrated. How about that?

SPEAKER_02 42:58

I'll put some Tabasco on it. Same shit.

SPEAKER_03 43:00

I've never I've had hot chicken that's good, but I've never gone to a hot chicken place where I liked it. Yeah, where I was like, why did I just wait in line for 15 minutes?

SPEAKER_02 43:08

You've gone to those places though?

SPEAKER_03 43:09

I went to one in Austin.

SPEAKER_02 43:11

Oh, like uh We were trying to go to one restaurant, it had a long line.

SPEAKER_03 43:14

We went to the hot chicken place, and there's a reason it didn't have a line. It wasn't very good. It was just spicy or that's pretty much it, yeah. That's stupid.

SPEAKER_01 43:20

Shout out uh rotisserie over at H E B. There's a new uh fried chicken restaurant in San Antonio uh that I went to. A friend of mine opened up. It's called Honey's Chicken Joint.

SPEAKER_02 43:30

Wait, the one on Harry Warsbot?

SPEAKER_01 43:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 43:32

I pass mine all the time. They took like three years to build that.

SPEAKER_01 43:35

Uh the they had a lot of issues with the city on their permitting and stuff, but they finally got past that. I'll tell you what, I was surprised to go in there. It it's it's pretty reasonably priced. Yeah, you know me. I went on a there wasn't a special when I went. I just like walked in and ordered. It was pretty quick for like fried chicken.

SPEAKER_02 43:56

I've been wanting to go in there, it's right there on Reddimen and Harry Warsbach.

SPEAKER_01 44:00

I I would say stay with the chicken. I got the steak fingers too, weren't my most favorite thing, but why are you ordering steak fingers at a place called Honey's Chicken?

SPEAKER_02 44:07

Where do you think you are sometimes?

The Big Deer Story And Dad Dilemma

SPEAKER_01 44:09

But and they're they're very liberal with the side like side condiments. You want sauce, you can have all the sauce you want. They ain't trying to you gotta make it yourself. They give you a little ramekin and you squirt it in there, you can take as much as you want. They're not like giving you it's on the honor system. Why are they calling honey? Is that his wife or something? Uh I don't. I bet there's a story in there. I bet it's like a grandma or something like that. But shout out, it's good. I recommend it. Harry's Worst Buck and uh uh yeah, Riddman. Riddeman.

SPEAKER_02 44:34

Yeah, right in front of Fort Sam.

SPEAKER_01 44:36

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 44:37

So I like that area. Hey, I'm going to Abilene next weekend. I'm excited to go to that gas station. Y'all talking about.

SPEAKER_02 44:43

No, I drove by the other day, dude.

unknown 44:45

No.

SPEAKER_03 44:46

I'll be going inside. Please do.

SPEAKER_02 44:48

How about you'd go in with it?

SPEAKER_01 44:49

It's in paint rock. It's in paint rock.

SPEAKER_02 44:51

I'll be going with I'll be going with an explosive vest. I'm kidding.

SPEAKER_01 44:58

Uh you know what would be funny is like every now and then you see those fake cars that people like uh wrap and they look like a fake Border Patrol car. Yes. If you parked at that truck stop, those people would probably uh shoot you.

SPEAKER_03 45:12

Oh yeah. Do you remember?

SPEAKER_00 45:14

You've been in there? I haven't been in there.

SPEAKER_03 45:16

Oh, okay. You remember when the guy had the Bull Patrol Toyota to Kickstarter? Was it like he was a hog hunter? Yeah, yeah, I know that guy real well.

SPEAKER_02 45:23

Was it like Torta Patrol? Didn't you see that? Instead of Border Patrol is Torta Patrol.

SPEAKER_01 45:28

What did what did you say the other day? Any any white man that doesn't have a BBL is wasting his privilege.

SPEAKER_02 45:35

Yeah, if you do if you're a white man and you don't have uh big booty Latina, what are you doing?

SPEAKER_01 45:41

You think they're out there for the taking like that?

SPEAKER_02 45:43

Dude, yes. What do you do? All these all these um Mexican ladies or whoever, immigrants, they ragging white people all the time. But deep down they want a white, like sugar daddy.

unknown 45:54

Oh man.

SPEAKER_02 45:56

That's a fact.

SPEAKER_01 45:57

That sounds like a lot of work. Yeah, I don't have enough money to be sugar. No, they cook for you. Well, you can just gotta buy the rice and beef, bro. Yeah, she's gonna get diabetes. Without a doubt. She probably already has it. Polo pinche diabetes.

SPEAKER_02 46:11

You got late in diabetes, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 46:13

Yeah. So uh so in a past life, what do you think you were?

SPEAKER_02 46:19

Um what we're gonna play. My it's a little game I have. A little game? Yeah, well, didn't I? What was this?

SPEAKER_01 46:26

Uh you said you wanted to be reincarnated as an Indian.

SPEAKER_02 46:29

If you die and come back as an Indian with diarrhea.

SPEAKER_01 46:32

Yeah, I don't want that. What not? That's the last thing I'd want to come back at.

SPEAKER_02 46:36

Really? Or you have to choose something else. Worse. Or what would be worse than that?

SPEAKER_01 46:39

Oh, that's the that's the pinnacle. I want to come back as one of those worms that becomes uh I want to be up an immunity to medicine, and so I'll just inside out.

SPEAKER_00 46:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 46:51

Flesh-eating parasite, that's me. I want to come back as that.

SPEAKER_02 46:54

Oh, what about the Somalians? Have you seen that? They're all over the news lately.

SPEAKER_01 46:57

They are all over the news.

SPEAKER_02 46:58

They stole like eight billion dollars a word. They like all their kids are autistic for some reason. What? You haven't seen this?

SPEAKER_01 47:05

No, what's going on? There's all these accusations, and they from what I can tell on.

SPEAKER_02 47:10

It was a billion, now it's eight billion.

SPEAKER_01 47:12

I saw the last record was 9.5 billion dollars has been uh has left the state of Minnesota in payments to Somalian immigrants. Uh for let's see, I'm trying to choose my words so I I'm getting the story as accurate as possible the way it's been presented to me, but uh that they're their children and so many people in their family qualify for disabilities based on their intelligence that they're not um whatever the below that 70 ideas.

SPEAKER_02 47:47

Yeah, they're like 68 or something.

SPEAKER_01 47:48

And so an interesting fact about that is we don't actually test for that. Like you when you're born or or you go to the doctor when you're a kid, you know, they check your site, they give you a hearing test. Nobody gives you a cognitive mental test. You have to seek that out. You've got to go and seek out the the mental tests, and then you would you know qualify are you forced gump or not forced gump? Uh are you right on the line?

SPEAKER_02 48:13

Well, forced gump was smart though.

SPEAKER_01 48:15

And so there's uh there's an argument though. All these immigrants are it's been we're being told that they're getting into the system and exploiting it and qualifying for this and getting tons and tons and tons and billions of dollars, and then they're taking that money and sending it back to the bought like million-dollar houses in Minnesota. They're cheating the system. And they send it to Al Shabaab. There's one argument online that 30 to 40 percent of the Somal the country of Somalia that their economy is from dollars that leave Minnesota and come over there.

SPEAKER_02 48:47

Guaranteed.

SPEAKER_01 48:48

So it's just this craziness. So either two things the majority of Somalians are retarded, probably not true. Well, I think they're all inbred. Probably not true. Well, some are that's a racist blanket statement, but I I don't know enough about it.

SPEAKER_02 49:03

Get out to other Somali.

SPEAKER_01 49:05

The second part of that, which is probably the most plausible, is that there that you can just like you would train a kid to take a spelling test, you could train a kid to be retarded on a government test. Be like, Mijo, you gotta be retarded because uh we're gonna get we're gonna get all this. Just act like you always do. And uh I guess what I'm saying is like, why aren't more people doing this? Yeah, I got five kids. That's why.

SPEAKER_02 49:33

Because we're not Americans, that's why.

SPEAKER_01 49:35

And uh, and you don't you can call them autistic. Maybe that's the point. Like, that's what they're saying.

SPEAKER_02 49:40

They're all autistic.

SPEAKER_01 49:41

Autism didn't exist. Like apparently now it's like, I don't want to, I don't want them to have the stigma. They're just like, you know, they like crayons, they're adults who play with Legos, they're autistic. Let's get them a million bucks, you know.

SPEAKER_03 49:52

There's so many people who know how to cheat the system, especially now.

SPEAKER_02 49:56

If you're willing to go that far, you're from Somalia.

SPEAKER_03 49:59

That's another deal I see on Facebook all the time. Some be like, hey, my my snap hadn't come through. I mean, there'll be a hundred comments like, oh yeah, you need to go to this department and talk to this person. And when you fill out the paperwork, write this down. And I'm like, God damn.

SPEAKER_02 50:10

It's these women, I'm telling you.

SPEAKER_01 50:11

One of my uncle's friends uh texted him this morning and was like, Hey, you you should get Wally to go enter that deer in one of those deer contests. There's a couple of them around South Texas in the youth division. And so I text another buddy of mine who um I'll call the deer query, just knows a lot about all that shit. And he said, Technically, you're supposed to register before you shoot. And uh so I text my uncle back and I was like, I don't, I got no interest in like being in the public court of the internet of trying to like win a free jacket by not following the rules.

SPEAKER_02 50:42

That he'll put in the closet and ever wear anyway.

SPEAKER_01 50:44

But the majority of people like that's not the they're like, oh, I didn't follow the rules. They got nothing better to do. Yeah, I'm sure there's things I break the rules on, but uh I speed. I speed a lot.

SPEAKER_02 50:55

Nothing I was about to another thing on 90 and sound from here to San Antonio, what's your uh what's your miles per hour? I go 82 minimum.

SPEAKER_01 51:04

Uh I'm an 80 guy pretty much every time. I know this sounds gay, but because I like to drive the year I was born in.

SPEAKER_02 51:10

I was gonna say the 83.

SPEAKER_00 51:12

Yeah. Yeah, I go 82.

SPEAKER_01 51:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 51:14

So that's pretty cool.

SPEAKER_03 51:15

Yeah. I I I do that all the time. I was really hoping you were gonna say 69.

SPEAKER_01 51:21

Back in my drinking days, I was a 69 guy. Oh gosh. Uh what tell me about these female influencers that are outdoors people.

SPEAKER_02 51:32

Oh, there's a couple of ladies who are like shoot deer, or they'll they'll shoot or they'll go fishing, like um, what do they call that when you stick your hand in a catfish?

SPEAKER_03 51:41

Noodling?

SPEAKER_02 51:41

Yeah, and they're in their underwear.

unknown 51:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 51:44

Do we need that?

SPEAKER_01 51:46

We used to have a video at my house in college that somebody bought at a truck stop in Oklahoma and it was called Girls Gone Noodling. And it was back in the Girls Gone Wild Day, but it was Girls Gone Noodling, it's all these big breasted bikini clad hill really. It was amazing. Bring it back. I want that. If someone has that on Instagram, send me that shit. Whatever. You know you're on your hand. I love it. I love it.

unknown 52:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 52:11

Do you like that? Girls gone noodling. If she'll put her arm in a muddy water up a log hole that's full of biting snakes and turtles, imagine what else she might do.

SPEAKER_02 52:24

That's my that's my theory on women who cut hair. They'll if they're willing to do that, they're willing to do anything. Cut hair, what's they'll touch a bunch of men's hair, you know? Like, I'm feeling like they'll go further than that.

SPEAKER_01 52:36

That's a stretch, man. I'll give that one to you. Uh, you can live whatever fantasy you want.

SPEAKER_02 52:41

Well, how many women cut hair or kind of loose women? Uh I feel like more loose women are or hairdressers than I'm I personally have never been with a hairdresser, so I can't speak.

unknown 52:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 52:51

We've heard stories, though.

SPEAKER_01 52:54

Well, that goes back to the other topic on here. Would you rather have a gay son or a thought daughter? Yes. Uh my daughter wants to be a hairdresser. So I guess destiny. My road is paving itself without my uh uh inclination.

SPEAKER_02 53:08

She's living in a trailer over on Hussein. Oh shit. Uh we'll see. Yeah. Thought thought daughter or gay son, what do you think? Wait, do you have kids?

SPEAKER_03 53:20

I'm having a daughter in March.

SPEAKER_02 53:22

But that's your first kid. Okay. Same same question.

SPEAKER_01 53:26

You should have as many as you can, I would say that. Like have a whole workforce. Yeah, yeah. The more the merrier. How old are you? 30?

SPEAKER_03 53:34

I'm 29.

SPEAKER_02 53:35

Oh, dude, perfect.

SPEAKER_03 53:37

I got accused of being 40 twice this year.

SPEAKER_02 53:39

Nah. I don't think I look 40. He does. Look at his hairline.

SPEAKER_03 53:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 53:44

Hit me.

SPEAKER_01 53:45

You look good right here, though, with the hat on. I gotta keep the hat on.

SPEAKER_03 53:50

What? I saw Backer at a wedding last night and he took his hat off to pray, and I hadn't seen him, and I just started laughing. Is he bald? He was like, Why are you laughing at me for being bald? I can't help it. I was like, that's not even what I was laughing at.

SPEAKER_02 54:01

But now I'm gonna people who are bald are so like self-conscious.

SPEAKER_01 54:06

I'm I'm trying to get the Ben Franklin hairdo. That's what I want. I swear to God, that's what I want. I'm trying to grow my hair long and then not have anything on top, like big, like uh Ben Franklin. But right now I'm in Hulk Hogan? I'm in the big earn yes, like Hulk Hogan. But I want to be a Renaissance man like Franklin uh uh but right now I'm in the big urn McCracken, like the you remember that movie Kingpin with the combo Bill Murray's character? That's where I'm at right now. I'm trying I'm trying to get growing. You gotta keep growing. Because I was bald a few months ago. I just you know I cut my beard off. Yeah, the whole thing. I I had my head, I'd kept it shaved basically a zero tomp for the past ten years. Yeah. I quit all mine. I quit like shaving it because then it like you just look like a pimpled thumb.

SPEAKER_02 54:54

Yeah, I'm about to say, don't you get like all like those bumps?

SPEAKER_01 54:57

Yeah, it was just like that was a lot of like if you're keeping your head like slick, Mr. Clean style, that's a commit, that's a lot of work. That's more commitment than combing your fucking.

Campus Speakers, Clicks, And Sharia HOA Bits

SPEAKER_02 55:09

Yeah, that's why I cut mine down all the way because I hate combing it. So and I hate doing it.

SPEAKER_03 55:15

Yeah, you don't look like somebody that cares about hygiene. Fuck no, because you're a truck driver. Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_02 55:21

I like traveling.

SPEAKER_01 55:22

Do you think all these filters on the internet you're talking about, like we're the demise of society?

SPEAKER_02 55:28

It's not the demise. I just think it's like it's stupid.

SPEAKER_01 55:32

You can really have like a like a really shitty truck and just like take the right pictures, and everyone's like, damn, that guy's got a nice damn truck. And that's the same thing with broads, huh? Or I guess dudes too. I don't know. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 55:44

I'm not gonna if you're a woman and you're putting filters on, don't do that. Just let it be. Let it be. Just be yourself.

SPEAKER_00 55:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 55:54

I like that. So I respect that.

SPEAKER_01 55:57

Yeah. And I and oh my god. Yeah, they have them all. You can whiten teeth and it's fucking stupid. I don't I think I've got it in here somewhere. I'm gonna skip to it. But I saw this uh car dealership yesterday in Canada, and it's like some chicken shit small town podunk car dealership, and had like 83 followers on a social media.

SPEAKER_02 56:20

That's the one you sent me.

SPEAKER_01 56:21

Yeah, I think I sent it to you guys, and they hired a new general manager, and it's like this 50-year-old woman. Oh, with those that woman these giant knockers, which is nobody wanted me to see. These she had some like she was Dolly Parton breasted. I thought it was just a woman. The comments were great. The comments of it had over like 6,000 likes and 2,300 comments, and then it had only been posted two days, and and like the comments were great. It was like only Ford's, and then it was like that's like like comparing the knockers of tires. Like, I'd like to knock those tires, or like I was wondering what so many hilarious comments. This dealership, like, so literally, she posted that Friday. She's going to have to go back to work on Monday.

SPEAKER_02 57:08

What do you say to your husband up to that?

SPEAKER_01 57:10

Everybody's there, it's gonna be like, hey, your tits are a huge kid on the internet. Let's go sell some F-150s.

SPEAKER_03 57:16

We're all in somebody commented on there and said, the marketing guy, let's do it without the jacket.

SPEAKER_01 57:22

Yeah, it is fantastic. I'm I'm gonna on the Instagram, I'm gonna go share that uh story. So check out the Negpod Instagram.

SPEAKER_03 57:32

Um have you seen that other one with the girl she's wearing uh spandex pants, and it's like she's posing where her where her ass is like looks really good, and she's turning back, and there's like a dump trailer. She's like, This is our 14-foot dump trailer. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 57:47

I'll find it and sit in. Dude, the the LinkedIn like hot marketing girls that just have like 10,000 followers, and you're and like perfect example. I saw one the other day for like a frack company and one for like a pipeline company. I'm like, I they may know everything, but I if I was meeting with them, like it would be really hard for them to convince me they were an expert as opposed to any other person, like a woman would be fine, but if you're just like a a dime piece and your job is like marketing on the internet, I just have to assume like you're just a flashing light of the billboard, dude.

SPEAKER_02 58:26

This goes back to what I'm saying. Women are the ultimate salesman.

SPEAKER_01 58:29

No, I agree 100%.

SPEAKER_02 58:31

Don't ever have another man at the oil field doing it, just get the women in there. That's where they fit in.

SPEAKER_01 58:36

Uh, so you said the website for the Uvalde Leader News has no more pop-ups than a porn site. It does. The ads are ridiculous.

SPEAKER_02 58:44

I can't even like read the the the articles because it's got so many ads. It's horrible. And you try to act, you try to close them out, and there's another one pops up.

SPEAKER_03 58:52

Did y'all see Diana's crew, Diana Crew's post? She took she took a picture on the fire with the fire truck at the courthouse. No, it's all decorated for Christmas, right? The old red fire truck, and it says you value. She took a picture with it sitting on it and posted, This is Christmas card worthy. Like, like it was her trophy, dear. Oh, like she's bragging on that you didn't get the yeah, because she got the you know, she claims she's gonna be a big thing. I was worried about you guys.

SPEAKER_02 59:17

I was worried about you all that fire they had in in Con Can. Like, there goes our fucking third wheel. Out and burned up in the fire in Con Can.

SPEAKER_01 59:26

Yeah, what a what an ironic thing. The fire department on fire. Yeah. Yeah. Wait, they the the trucks come on fire?

SPEAKER_03 59:34

So there's a lot of there's kind of some drama about that. So uh there was a guy next door saying that he heard a loud explosion. And the story going around was they were spray foam insulating and they were also welding, and the gas is it flashed over and exploded. Concan Fire put out a statement that the fire just got so hot that the oxygen bottom. The SCBAs were blowing up. That's bullshit. And that's this guy. You can tell he's a conspiracy theorist. He's like, oh, so y'all just wear shit on your back and fires that can blow up.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:12

And they could, if anything gets hot enough, right?

SPEAKER_02 1:00:14

And uh you talked about that in one podcast that the metal building caught on fire.

Traffic, Language, And Wild Rants

SPEAKER_03 1:00:19

Yeah, and that one did it's uh I believe it's the paint is flammable, so the whole metal building will cut on fire. But it was all the insulation. I guess that insulation, when it sparks, it it really goes.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:30

I had breakfast with some old men at Julio's table of them. We'll call them the senior council, and they know the table you're talking about. Somebody uh that whenever they spray foamed that years ago, that instead of having the correct fire retardant spray foam, people were getting some shit out of Mexico, and that's what they sprayed it with. That was the official line. It was definitely just a fire retardant spray foam in the world.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:56

If there's a group of white men, if there's a group of white men any valley at a restaurant, they're the ratio of them being wrong, it's like they're gonna be right 99% of the time.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:05

My very first nice pickup I had was uh this was probably the year 2005, but it was an 03 Dooley crew cab, leather seats. First time I ever had a nice truck. Rich boy. And uh no, I'd already started working in there. So but I had a I put a flatbed on it and spray spray lined it. Oh yeah, and then I had had a piece of plate on the back of it, and we were cutting a piece of plate. That shit was so flammable, it's all petrochemical based. And every time a spark would jump on it, it would just be like a like a like lighting a butane torch. Like it was catching on fire. It was it was fucked up. I had no idea like I was riding around. I wouldn't have thought that either. Yeah, I think they've changed it since then. That was 20 something years ago.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:47

You remember those when you weld, you can catch stuff on fire so fast.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:50

So fast.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:51

I was welding on a trailer in Corvus one time when we did that hot shot thing, and we're hauling off for uh the in Rockport for that uh hurricane, and the guy's like, Be careful welding it, or you might catch my grass on fire. And I'm like, No, I won't. Like and he left like an hour later. I caught that whole sucker on fire.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:07

I think I told this story on the waller, but we were welding H braces at the tourist ranch in this field, and I had a guy named Frankie. I said, Hey, just stomp the the sparks out as I'm welding. And I was welding and I just hear him go, A la verga! And I'd lift my hood up, and he's stomping, and the flames are just getting bigger and bigger. We caught like four acres of grass on fire. The best part was I I thought it was small enough we could maybe put it out with water bottles, so I threw him a case of water bottles, and he just threw the whole thing on top of it like it was like it was a water grenade. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:43

I guess that's why they call they call them fire watch, right? Is that what that is?

SPEAKER_03 1:02:46

Yeah, I should have had a firewatch.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:47

I have fire extinguishers. There's been more acres burn up in West Texas by somebody repairing a fucking cattle guard. Yeah. And and because there's tumbleweed stuck under there or whatever, and there's all those oil field trucks going over, and someone goes to fix and it catches a tumbleweed on fire, and then it gets small enough to blow out of there, and next thing you know, you've burnt down half the county.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:07

It just sucks because you've probably fixed a hundred cattle guards with all that shit in there and not caught anything on fire. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:15

But eventually you're gonna get you're you're confident it won't happen. That's what it happened.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:19

Uh we we burned down the I don't know, two or two or three acres in like the middle of like Kansas a a year or two ago. Like just bad things. We had a fire wash. For well. We had we had a bulldozer there, we had everything. It just like it just got natural. When you're doing stuff in nature, like you can't prepare for everything.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:39

Me and Justin were hauling some stuff out with the gooseneck, and the we had a flat tire, and he's like, just keep going. It's in mile, it's a mile, just keep going down one mile, and we went and that trailer almost got on fire.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:48

Oh, yeah. You can get them more most bardich. I would say 90% of bardich fires around here are started by someone pulling a fifth wheel with a blown tire, and they have no idea.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:58

That's what happens.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:59

Yeah. And I don't know how you don't know when you blow a tire. You feel it.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:03

Oh, I knew right after it shakes you. We just we had to get it done.

unknown 1:04:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:07

What they should open up that uh South Park brawl today with a slap fight. Dude, yes. You see in that slap fighting? Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:16

What is that?

SPEAKER_01 1:04:17

They should get some some women, some studs over there to start out with slap fighting and then go to the full chingasos.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:23

I know some women. I mean, I don't, but maybe from high school.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:27

The slap fighting thing's crazy. I I just could never sign myself.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:31

There was one video of this lady who was Chinese and they slapped her and she turned American. I think that was AI, but it was funny, dude.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:38

Have you seen the on TikTok, the stud girl that sings at funerals?

SPEAKER_02 1:04:43

Yeah, I saw that one, two, three release.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:46

So my wife yesterday said, if I die, it's your duty to find this girl and make sure she comes and I haven't seen it.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:53

I gotta see it. Oh, you gotta watch it.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:55

Oh, dude. Do they release doves? Just balloons. Oh, balloons, yeah. And then she goes in on her thing. Yeah. We'll put it on the thing in the buckets.

Parasites, Ivermectin, And Garlic Myths

SPEAKER_01 1:05:03

Share that with me. Uh so we've been talking about McDonald's breakfast, giving them a little credit last couple episodes. I had some What's your breakfast the other day? I'll tell you what, I was pretty I thought it was pretty difficult. What'd you get? It tastes fake. I've rolled through there and I got uh they've now added as a regular menu item. You can get the chorizo. So I got chorizo, egg and cheese, taco, the meal. Comes with a drink, uh, the hash browns, a taco, six dollars and forty-nine cents. Good price. That's a pretty good price for breakfast.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:35

What about a chorizo burger?

SPEAKER_03 1:05:37

I like the chorizo burger.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:39

No, do they have that? Yeah. Oh, okay. I hadn't had that. That sounds good.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:42

It's uh, you know they have the all-time favorites, and then they kind of rotate like rotate through like the avocado burger and the chop house cheddar burger. Yeah. The chorizo burger is one that's I found them give me heartburn, though. So it's really what a burger, you just gotta accept you're gonna have a little heartburn.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:58

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:59

It's pretty good.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:00

I like those onions they use.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:01

I don't like their tortillas, though.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:02

They're too like the thing about the tortillas, I agree with you, but the chorizo has enough grease in it to almost make it a real tortilla at that point. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:11

It's just Dude, I bought tortillas at Dollar General the other day, and my mom's like, go buy some. So I went, they were pretty good.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:17

Oh, they're just so and I want to shout out Whataburger has a very clean kitchen. I used to deliver salt air when I was a salt delivery man.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:25

Who's who's better, Whataburger or Bill Miller for their kitchen cleanliness?

SPEAKER_03 1:06:29

I never went into Bill Miller's.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:30

Never?

SPEAKER_03 1:06:31

I mean, you can see them. They look clean.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:33

You said Whataburger here's clean. You said you were hungover this morning and you walked in with a Whataburger cup of your go-to order was a breakfast burger. I mean, I had that, but it you do the way you just. Is that a bob?

SPEAKER_03 1:06:42

No, that's breakfast on a bun. Breakfast burger, it's just uh Whataburger Jr. add hash browns, a fried egg, and they put the sauce from the patty melt. From the patty melt.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:55

That sounds like diarrhea.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:56

Does it also come with uh hash browns? Yes, and it goes inside of hash browns.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:00

I'd go I like those little hash brown sticks.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:02

I bet that'll fight a hangover for you. Yeah, it's I'm feeling better.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:05

I want to do the hash brown sticks, but McDonald's hash brown sticks. Oh yeah, I don't know. You have apps for fast food restaurants? Yeah, for uh Whataburger and for uh what's the other one to send?

SPEAKER_01 1:07:20

McDonald's.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:20

You have I have 35,000 points. What can you do with that? You just get like a free sandwich. It's like 5,000 points.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:27

Oh man, I think I'd rather be one of those adults buying Legos and playing beer pong with McMuffin points.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:34

A free McMuffin though?

SPEAKER_01 1:07:37

Like, if you're if you have that many McMuffin points, like your health insurance should go up, not mine.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:43

Dude, usually I get like a tea. I get like an unsweet tea.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:48

That's all I gotta say about that. Does Bill Miller have an app too?

SPEAKER_02 1:07:51

Yeah, they they just came out with it.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:53

Really?

SPEAKER_02 1:07:53

Yeah, I need to download that.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:54

I really like Bill Miller's. I wish we'd get one in time. I do too.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:57

I think they're I heard Joe Tom trying to keep that out though.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:00

Oh well, new judge in town, so you better watch out.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:05

Who are you voting for, Joe Tom?

SPEAKER_01 1:08:06

Yeah, Joe Tom. I think he's running unopposed right now, so uh maybe I should do it. You're gonna run for judge.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:15

We'll run for judge.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:16

Puropinche justice other. Throw him in the hooscow.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:19

Is that what you say?

SPEAKER_01 1:08:19

So lock him up. Lock him up. So um, yeah, shout out. I wish we had a Bill Miller too. That would be maybe one day we'll get one.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:28

Fast friendly service. It is. Even if there's a line, you get through it quickly.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:31

It's a good tea.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:32

Maybe there's just too many pieces of shit out here. They can't like find people to work.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:35

Last night at 8 o'clock or 8 30. I just stopped at Golden Chick and walked in. They go, Are you is this for here or to go? I said, I'm just gonna have a large drink. I like to go in there and get me a little tea. We'll get half and half. I go like eight, eighty, ninety percent uh unsweet and then just a little top off.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:52

I go full unsweet. That's the way to go.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:54

I think Golden Chick has the best Dr. Pepper in town.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:56

Really?

SPEAKER_03 1:08:57

Wait, didn't he?

SPEAKER_02 1:08:58

Wait, didn't he say the other day the tea or the fries there? They're trapped. Explain yourself, son.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:02

Y'all don't like the fries in golden, not me. They were like soggy and all stuck together. I've never had soggy ones there, but you went at the end of the day.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:10

I guess. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:11

Oh, yeah, that's where you flip, bro. You didn't say that.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:13

I got them to go. And so when you get them to go, they put them in that container that lock them in with all the motion.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:19

Lock them in.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:22

Man, I like them. I like them. So I bet if you ate them there, it'd be a different experience than like having them in that sack in that box, and they just get wet.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:30

I I mean, I'll tell you what, if I go to get food while they're running my cart, I have it open and I'm eating.

unknown 1:09:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:37

What about when you order food and you're with somebody and they take the fries out of the bag? I used to do that a lot. I'm gonna punch you in the fucking head. Yeah, I don't do it now. If you do that to me, I'm gonna kill you. Not you, but anybody else.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:48

Uh you ever have the seafood bowls at HEB? Oh, yeah. You like them? Did I write that down?

SPEAKER_02 1:09:53

I like them. Did I put that down there? Yeah, you did.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:54

Dude, they're good. They are.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:55

My mom hates them. Some people hate it. Like it smells like shit.

Local Pods, Sports, And Facebook Feuds

SPEAKER_03 1:09:58

It's because they don't have they don't put enough seasoning.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:00

Yeah, you gotta add they're a little bland. Did you eat it when they had them at the Palomino Fest? HE B had that shrimp bowl tent.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:09

No, I didn't go to Palomino Fest.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:10

And uh so you it was like the best deal at Palomino Fest. I think it was 10 or 12 bucks, and they gave you this overpouring their seafood. It was sausage, shrimp, corn, and potatoes. And it had butter on it, and then you had your own extra seasoning so you could just dump it on there. Really? It was more than you could eat. I'm sure a lot of people ate all of it. Oh, I eat all of it. It was a considerable amount of butter.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:33

What's crazy? I think the potato in that's my favorite part. So I like a nice soft red potato.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:40

I asked you for a picture of uh this is gonna sound gay. I asked you for a picture of your brisket this morning because you and your dad cooked a brisket on Friday and I cooked it by myself. And then I was like, send me pictures, send me pictures, and so fine. I was like, You must have really fucked that brisket up. He's like, You can't tell anything from the pictures. I said, I can't.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:55

Oh, that's how I said it.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:56

Yeah, it is. That's how you say it. That's exactly what you do the best impression of you. That's not what I did. Uh and you sent me a picture of your brisket, and I took one look and I said, That looks like a good frickin' brisket.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:10

It came out good. I put eight hours on the on the pit and then another eight hours in the oven. But I think I can judge a brisket by pictures.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:20

I think you could judge a brisket by pictures.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:22

I can't.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:22

Yeah. Although you're not the best brisket, but you can tell if it's trash or not.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:26

When I look at the Instagram for like uh what's their place again?

SPEAKER_01 1:11:30

Burnt bean.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:31

That looks good.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:32

Yeah. Have you ever seen videos of uh bad brisket? No, food photographers like staging food, like for fast food restaurants?

SPEAKER_02 1:11:40

No. Oh, maybe they like use paint.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:42

They'll like spray paint them and all kinds of things. Did you do that to your brisket? Ham. Did you pour a bunch of water on there so it looked juicy?

SPEAKER_02 1:11:49

That's fucking gross. No.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:51

So you uh you fell off your high horse on Calci, huh? You you dumped some of your biggest.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:55

Yeah, I won. I was$400 up. Then I bet$880 on basketball. Don't ever. If you listen to this, don't ever bet on basketball.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:03

PSA. Stay away from betting hoops. It's bad.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:07

Do you agree with that?

SPEAKER_01 1:12:08

Yeah, another thing. One time I've when I was a degenerate gambler, I bet a bunch of money on soccer. If they tie, you lose. You have to bet specifically for a tie.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:17

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:18

So I bet a bunch of money on soccer and it finishing a tie, and I went to the bar and had a rager and spent a bunch of money, and the next day, and they're like, hey, you owe me$500. I was like, what do you mean?$500 and like you tied. I was like, yeah, I know. Yeah, it doesn't work that way.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:31

I was like, sure shit.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:32

It doesn't work that way.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:33

And nobody knows when it's over because the clock counts up.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:36

It is the ultimate third world cheat game. And people are like, sucker's such a pure game. It's like, this is fucking Gaddafi ball. Like you just making up the rules as you go.

unknown 1:12:46

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:47

And then I but I I convinced my mother to put in$40 on the Cowboys. I'm like, I think they might win.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:53

Lost. Oh. I won$750 last night.$750? On what? Uh be in the house for Blackjack.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:00

Oh, okay. I'm Pier Paul.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:03

I had to buy myself back in a bunch, but well, that's good. Oh, that's fun. Were you doing the dealing?

SPEAKER_00 1:13:09

House always won't be.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:10

The bank. Like where everybody's putting their money. Everybody got paid out, and I got paid out last, and it was short$200 from the chips I had. So somebody stole$200. It's always short. It's always short. And the dealers want to product. Yeah. It might have been Chris. I'm telling you. Chris owed me four or five hundred dollars rolling dice one night, and I dropped him off and he said, owe you$500. Good luck getting it. He was drunk as shit and he went.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:38

He ran inside. I would just say there's a restaurant here that I'm supposed to have free chicken fried steaks for life at. And uh ever since I had kids, I ain't got a free chip steak.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:48

Where's that? Yeah. Somebody, I told somebody, I'm not gonna say this, but I told somebody that Chris Conn would call me a fat mescan. And they went up to his Facebook and he's like, he's a fat prick too. I'm not gonna say who said it.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:02

Is that true?

SPEAKER_02 1:14:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:03

Chris didn't call you a fat maskin, did he?

SPEAKER_02 1:14:05

Yeah, he did call me a fat retard.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:07

Why do you keep saying nobody's calling you a mascine? That's what he did. They call you a fat retard. You're like, you call me a fat mascot.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:14

Oh, I'm being sensitive?

SPEAKER_03 1:14:16

No, no. Uh you can call me whatever you want. Like last time I said that they could just use your head for barbacolo. Like my sister said you call me a fat Mexican. I didn't.

Uber Stories, Strange Riders, And Downtown

SPEAKER_02 1:14:26

You can call me whatever you want, just and you can call me late for dinner because I'm going to Whataburger.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:30

Those uh those And if you insult me, I'm just gonna tell everybody you call me a fat Mexican. There you go.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:36

Old Trump. Why don't you have some more of that beer there? Old drunky loose lips.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:42

Uh those uh parasites that are running around town putting the fiber optic in found a body. Shut up. Over at Park? Over on Park Street. Um at the cemetery?

SPEAKER_02 1:14:53

It was probably Kingfisher.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:55

So where Kingfisher Cemetery is, the other side of Park Street was all a cemetery at one point in time, too. And they allegedly are attempted to exhume all those bodies and move them so they could develop those neighborhoods. They didn't get them all. But apparently the fiber guys uh found a body on Thursday or Friday, and uh it's like a whole deal. I don't know if it's probably why isn't that in the U Valley Leader News? Because it's interesting. It has nothing to do who's the third best bartender at Apple Hop is.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:35

Isn't that Kimball what's his name? That Kimball kid? Doesn't he have a fence coming?

SPEAKER_03 1:15:40

Well, not yeah, he got the newspaper. He got third. Okay. Well, you're second or first. I'm second fencing first in landscaping.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:46

You're you're second also in uh podcasting.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:51

But you're first at the Waller.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:53

First dude, you keep that whole podcast going. I can I can tell you Grace and Conrad are pretty funny. No, no, no. You have the uh you have like the energy for it. They suck, is what I'm saying. Go ahead, McNeil.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:05

Uh but yeah, so they uh they found a body and uh I was thinking about I just so part of what we do is is excavating and we go across country, and I feel like if I I just feel like on one of my jobs, like if they uncovered like an old skeleton, I wouldn't know about it because they would just be like, we ain't got time for this shit. We got stuff to do, and like that they would just be buried again. Like, what is it? Rest in peace, my friend. We're sorry we disturbed it. Rest in power. That's how I want to go out.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:37

Find me about 200 years from now. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:40

So that's by a pack of wild dogs. I didn't know that's good, uh that's good Uvaldi history. I didn't know that was all a cemetery.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:47

There's there's actually an interesting You didn't know that? Um No, I thought it was just in that one spot. Okay, there's an old Uvalde Leader News article that pops up from time to time from in the archives of when they exhumed those bodies. And to do it, they had to they had some city officials and maybe a justice of the peace, and they needed some witnesses. And I want to say that maybe Willie Edwards and Wendu Bose were both uh young, younger adults at that time, maybe even high school, but I think they're a little older. And they were part of the witnesses that helped do it. And there's a really interesting article in the Uvaldi newspaper about it, but they missed a body, apparently.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:27

Hey, uh, let's uh pause for a second.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:28

I got a piss.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:30

We're back with the Waller. What's up?

SPEAKER_01 1:17:33

Uh I like this question because I think it's valid. What's up? Is Uvaldi the barbecue pit capital of the dude?

SPEAKER_02 1:17:40

There's so many pits. I think my dad has five. And he cooks like maybe like once a month.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:47

We only have one barbecue restaurant.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:50

Dude, that's embarrassing. Uh that's that's weren't you gonna start a barbecue restaurant?

SPEAKER_01 1:17:55

I was, I was almost completely broke, and I was like, this is my last resort. I'm giving up on the oil field, I'm giving up on heavy equipment, I'm giving up on everything, and then you know, it just changed overnight. Life happened. Have y'all been to the food court out on by the estates?

SPEAKER_03 1:18:10

No.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:10

What? Oh, there's a there's uh a food, like a food. I haven't seen that.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:15

Uh they say it's good. They say it's really good, and I know there's a barbecue place there. I haven't tried it out.

Hot Chicken, Honey’s Review, And Deals

SPEAKER_01 1:18:19

Yeah, I think it's uh uh Blake's brother, Rudy, is doing uh barbecue deal. And I've seen the pictures, it look great. I I hadn't gotten to eating it yet. And then there's the other place on Highway 90, uh past Oasis or past Weber and all that. Oh, the Mennonites deal. The Mennonite. I've never been there, but Matt goes there and he says it's really good. It is fucking good.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:41

If you go to a food truck, I don't care where you are, it's probably gonna be better than 90% of the restaurants in that town.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:46

I agree. There was a random one parked on a side street in Brackettville the other day that was doing a uh two hot dog lunch special, and I was like, I bet those are good. I bet those hell yeah. Yeah. You like that barbecue place there in Brackettville? Uh Ziggy's, yeah. Yeah, it's pretty good.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:59

It's pretty good. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:00

What about that restaurant there right when you come into town on the right? Julie's burger and shake? Yeah, that one. Is that I think I mean they're they can't get their hours figured out. Every time I go by, it's closed.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:10

Is it is the most inconsistent place, period.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:15

I think I've stopped there like at five in the morning though when they were open.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:18

Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. That checks out. Yeah. Uh and like I think people are so frustrated with them and their lack of any continuity that if you ask a Brackettville person about it, they just scoff like, why would I waste my time seeing if these fuckers decide to hamburger today? True. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:38

Go to if you're listening to this, go to the old Sears uh warehouse next to Billy Bob's, buy that building and make a barbecue place.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:46

They tore it down.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:47

Build a new building and start it there.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:50

That's where it needs to go.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:51

Shout out Joe Tom.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:53

Richard, that guy who rents that shop from me, he has like five propane tanks back there. I was like, are Are these yours? And he was like, Yeah, just people always want barbecue pits. Does he make them? Richard will do anything. He's really good.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:07

My dad has one for that longhorn. It's over in Hacienda. I cooked that brisket on it, dude.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:11

It was nice. We have lifetime barbecue pits here.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:15

We got lifetime longhorn. Um anybody with a welder.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:20

Long time, all sorts of shit. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:23

Lifetime pits are everywhere. When I was in the I don't like them though. When I was in the oil field, every single man camp I stayed at, the bar. Well, they sell them in HB.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:32

Oh, really? Yeah, they sell them HB there in Midland and Modessa, too.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:35

I I like the the lifetime. I feel like most people have copied them. I think they've been around. I don't think they were the first, obviously, but they're the ones who like made it big time.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:48

That popularized.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:49

Have you ever been over there to their shop and like looked around? Where is it?

SPEAKER_02 1:20:53

Didn't they move it? Where is that place at?

SPEAKER_01 1:20:55

It's uh on Hacienda, like where the road bends before you get out of town.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:59

No, not Longhorn Lifetime.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:01

Lifetime's on the other side.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:03

Oh, oh, that's them. Yeah, okay. You go like down Grove Street in that neighborhood on the right. Yeah. It's back behind all that. Oh, okay. Yeah. And they've got a hell of a welded shape.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:13

I don't know. My ex-girlfriend had me cook a brisket on the two on there in their lifetime. I didn't like it. It just didn't hold the temperature the correct way. Do they make really big ones? Uh, she had a smaller one.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:23

Uh, I I don't I think they make they make the double though. The double like the double a double 24 or 26. I think 24, because 24 is more common pieces.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:33

With a sausage smoker too, probably.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:35

Yeah. So uh this year I've realized how lucky we are. Like Uvaldi's such a hub for we have everything here. And you don't realize it until you get to another town. Like uh I went to Del Rio the other day and I couldn't find barbed wire.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:51

Really?

Border Patrol Parodies And BBL Theories

SPEAKER_03 1:21:51

And I got barbed wire from fucking tractor supply. Wow. They just had no options. Like you go to a feed store and I'm like, I don't have any fencing materials here.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:01

You got barbed wire tractors, it's like some lesbian.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:04

I uh yesterday I had to get some shit for hanging Christmas lights, and I needed like specific things to hang Christmas lights with. And so I had my son running errands with me. I was like, You want to should we go to Ace or MG? Which Ace is TJ Moore now. I'll call it Ace forever. Yeah, me too. And uh he was like, What's MG's? I was like, You never been in MGs? And I was like, Well, let's just go there and start. Those fuckers ain't got a Christmas nothing in there. They didn't put it, I kind of appreciated it. They ain't got one penny invested in Santa Claus bullshit over there. Like, you couldn't get anything.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:37

It's all bandsaw and fucking.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:39

And guess what? TJ Moore didn't have what we needed either. But we went to Walmart and they had like three or four options.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:45

Uh when we went moose hunting, we needed dry eyes. In the state of Vermont, there's two fucking Walmarts in the whole state.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:54

Are you kidding?

SPEAKER_03 1:22:55

No, I'm not. And we were next to one, they didn't have dry eyes, and somebody said, You gotta go to the one in Burlington. It's fucking, it's big. They're gonna have dry eyes. So me and my brother-in-law drive all the way to fucking Burlington. We get there. This Walmart's about the size of the one in Pearsall. Really? That's the big one. This is the fucking big one. No, they didn't have any dry eyes. Did y'all drive up there? We we flew to Burlington and then had to drive two and a half hours up to the Canadian border. Okay, so you are in a rental.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:26

You can get dry ice at a Lowe's in Brackettville.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:29

Yeah, you're gonna eat that moose? Yeah, I've got I brought the backstraps and tenderloins home. Have you eaten any of it? I haven't tried it yet.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:34

I wonder what it's like. I'll let y'all know. I keep seeing these guys on the internet that are eating mountain lion. I mean, I just don't want to be that mountain man. Eating the cat. I guess like if you're stuck in a little fat on it. If you're like stuck in a holler and like you need like enough, like go up and get them to you know make a child with your cousin so life can go on. I'd probably eat a mountain lion tail or something like that.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:56

But we can run it. I'd rather eat a house.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:01

We're really lucky here. We have everything. Two pipe yards. We have Uvalco here, they have everything, and a MG and a TJ Moore.

SPEAKER_00 1:24:08

Yeah, I like it.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:09

It's uh you can and I'll say that about Uvalco too. Like they're they're open consistently. Like they're they're 7 30 to 5 30.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:18

They got all those people in there on the computers and shit.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:21

And that's one of the places you can go in there Saturday at 5 till noon, and they're like, We'll keep the we'll keep it open till 12 15 if you're buying something. There's nothing worse than you're walking somewhere and they're like they close in 10 minutes, they're like, We're closed.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:33

They do that.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:34

That happened to me at the restaurant in Brackettville the other day. We pulled in there and they they close at 8 o'clock and we got there at 7 40, and they like met us at the door to be like, no, no, do not come in. I was like, fuck, there's two of us.

unknown 1:24:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:50

I was at the Lakey outpost the other day and I pulled in the back. I said, Do y'all have square tubing? The guy said no. And I said, Do you have cutting wheels for a grinder? He said, Yeah. So I pulled out of the yard and into the front and he went and shut the door.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:01

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:02

I was like, You could have told me you were fucking close. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:05

But they do have those lingerers though that'll linger there for 45 minutes for no reason.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:10

Yeah. I don't know.

unknown 1:25:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:12

I mean, when you're dealing with people, you're you're gonna get aggravated. That's part of it. I think that's a probably one of the things you like about your job. Once it's done, it's just your job. Like you no one's out there. No one wants to go out there and give you a hand building a fence or retired. Oh. Then you have like retiree pricing, you have to put like an extra like eight percent.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:37

It's nothing against them. I'm just so used to I do shit that sucks. So usually the people just leave me alone, and retired people just have nothing to do, and they just want to be involved because they have nothing else to do, and I'd have to calm myself down and be like, this guy's not being an asshole, he's just curious. I'm just curious. So I'm like, could you please get the fuck away from me?

SPEAKER_02 1:25:56

You see these old men around town, like they they'll go, they'll get up in the morning, get dressed, go to Walmart, and then drive home.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:02

What is that?

SPEAKER_02 1:26:03

Is that how you want to end your life?

SPEAKER_01 1:26:05

What?

SPEAKER_02 1:26:06

When I was in we drive to Walmart, yeah, they get all dressed up and begin their pickup and drive, and then they come back.

Filters, Viral Managers, And Marketing Thirst

SPEAKER_01 1:26:11

I'll never forget this. Is on the point that you're making. When I was in high school, I had a truck that had like we probably needed a new set of tires, but like nobody was like, We're gonna get the new set of tires. Like, I didn't have new set of tire money. Uh damn sure my parents didn't. And so I'd gone to see my dad, and I was about to drive from New Bromfels back to Uvaldi, like with my shitty tires on my truck. And so dad was like, let's go put some air in your tire before you and haul your sister and all my kids are in this car going home with bad tires. And uh so we pull up to the gas station at Sunday morning, like 10 o'clock, and there's this old man there, and he's parked, he's blocking the tire deal, and he's got like a brand new Cadillac, and he's checking the tire pressure, and he's just got nothing else to do. Nothing. And I remember my dad walked up there and he just ripped the air hose out of his hand. He goes, I know you got nothing fucking better to do. We're in a hurry. And he ripped it out of his hand, he aired my tire up, and then he threw the hose back at the guy and was like, Come on, let's go.

SPEAKER_02 1:27:10

And that guy didn't even know what happened.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:12

He was just standing there. I was I was like appalled. Like, I didn't know what better.

SPEAKER_02 1:27:16

He didn't even care, probably.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:19

It was savage, dude.

SPEAKER_02 1:27:20

Dude, that when I get that old, I want to be like Hawkus at the guard shack DKM, just chilling. Just chilling, getting yelled at. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:27:28

Talkaway was the last gas station in town with free air. And when I was in high school, I always had shitty tires too. And I remember going there and there would be a line. Everybody wanting the free air, and now there's no free air hoses. There's no free air. You gotta get enough fucking quarters and hope it works after it eats your quarters.

SPEAKER_02 1:27:45

That's why you just get an ad one off Amazon. Can you still get used tires in town? I got one for sale. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 1:27:51

You could probably get takeoffs. Uh you know, if you show up with the tires from the dealership. I think you can buy takeoffs, but I don't know if you can buy the US.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:00

There's that one place on 83, I forgot what it's called. I think they do that there.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:03

There used to be a place on 83, and then of course, then the West Side Prompt Stop that was they they traded and used tires. Like who what tire shop's on 83?

SPEAKER_03 1:28:14

They're in Prompt Stop now, I think. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:17

They move over there. Okay, yeah. Okay, that makes sense.

unknown 1:28:19

That makes sense.

SPEAKER_03 1:28:21

Um Andy's tire and lube stripped my oil pan.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:26

I heard a lot of bad things about them. I'm not gonna I'm not gonna touch up.

SPEAKER_03 1:28:29

They stripped out my oil pan plug and uh told me. This is what the guy sitting behind the counter said, You gotta understand that's normal wear and tear on a truck. And I said, Well, cross-thread it back in there, I'm gonna go get it fixed somewhere else. Oh my god. And I leaked oil all the way to Cody's shop.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:48

He told me it's normal wear and tear, man. I went there one time to put those my scout tires on, and they had some drug addict doing it there. He couldn't figure out which way was which at Andy's. And they were trying to tell him he was not, he was on drugs. He couldn't even put a tire on a wheel.

SPEAKER_01 1:29:04

There's uh but all of these places, whether you argue like this is the best mechanic in town or a guy you don't even know the name of their shop, they're all packed. Yeah, dude, they're packed, they're all busy.

SPEAKER_03 1:29:19

Next time y'all go to any parking lot, every parking space has huge oil stains in it. This town has a a leaking oil issue.

SPEAKER_04 1:29:29

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 1:29:30

I went to Walmart the other day and I went to the back and I just looked around. I was like, holy shit, this asphalt is like the auto part? Yeah, like the the fucking just this asphalt is deteriorated.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:41

I will say this. Walmart, I've had my oil changer the last few times. They do a pretty good job.

SPEAKER_01 1:29:46

They seem to be a pretty popular place.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:47

It's cheap too, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01 1:29:49

For oil changes. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:51

I got mine for another like 40 bucks.

SPEAKER_00 1:29:54

That is cheap. That's pretty cheap. That was cheap. That's pretty cheap.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:57

They put they put the wrong oil in my uh one ton one time, though, and they do got it. I got it for free.

SPEAKER_03 1:30:02

I switched nothing like when they fuck it up and you get it for free.

SPEAKER_02 1:30:06

And had that British lady, she was some lady from England who's the manager of Walmart and Uvalde. How the hell did that work?

SPEAKER_03 1:30:11

Really?

SPEAKER_02 1:30:12

Yeah, she was a British lady.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:14

She H2A.

SPEAKER_00 1:30:15

Probably. That surprises me.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:18

What is this Harvard law professor that was detained by ICE?

SPEAKER_02 1:30:22

I don't know. Did I write that down?

SPEAKER_01 1:30:24

Yeah, this guy, uh Carlos Portugal Gueva, said he was hunting rats with a BB gun.

SPEAKER_02 1:30:30

But he was actually shooting the Jews. No. Yeah, dude. And they and then he did he was like, no, instead of getting deported, he was just gonna fly back.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:39

Where did you see this story?

SPEAKER_02 1:30:43

It was on Fox on uh TikTok.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:45

Really?

SPEAKER_02 1:30:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:46

So it was a hunting.

SPEAKER_02 1:30:48

Yeah, he said he was hunting rats with a BB gun, but he was like shooting those little hats off the Jews.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:53

Really? So he's uh anti-Semite.

SPEAKER_02 1:30:56

Yeah. But he was uh I think he's from Brazil.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:59

I that would be a tough career to be in, a lawyer that's anti-Semitic. Yeah. Was he a lawyer? Oh, he says law professor, and that's what your notes say. I don't know. Wait, I wasn't gonna like put these notes on here. I was like, I know nothing about the half a sleeve. They deported him.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:14

No, he voluntarily like went back. He self-deported.

SPEAKER_03 1:31:20

Uh I can't say why I know this, but apparently ICE is hitting those uh Mennonites up there in West Texas. Really? All the ones from Mexico.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:29

Oh, because there's a bunch of them. Yeah, I used to work for a guy who had a bunch of them.

SPEAKER_01 1:31:32

Ice has been uh ICE has been hitting them. I wonder if that's like a badge of honor if you're a deported gringo back to Mexico. I would watch a reality show on that.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:43

They need to hit those Cubans. There's so many Cubans in West Texas. Have you noticed that? There's so many Cubans. Dude, I go to the stores there, they don't speak English.

SPEAKER_00 1:31:51

No.

SPEAKER_03 1:31:52

I love that that pisses you off.

SPEAKER_01 1:31:54

Dude. I'm like, I'm I'm ready to accept them because you know I'm I'm identify as Mexican. But you know what they are? And then you're talking to these motherfuckers and they're like telling you about cooking plantains. I was like, I ain't got no time for a Mexican with plantains.

SPEAKER_02 1:32:08

Don't you ever bring up a banana. Yeah, get out of here. But you know what? They are sexy.

SPEAKER_01 1:32:14

They got those BB eggers. Oh, they do, dude. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if they're looking for husbands, but they may not get diabetes if they eat those plantains, though.

SPEAKER_02 1:32:22

That might be all sugar, dude.

SPEAKER_01 1:32:24

Oh, natural sugar. Exactly. Um SPM, South Park Mexican. Uh-huh. Dope House Records. So Sauce Baby. Yeah. The host of today's Puro Uvaldi Chingaso's not only in South Park. It's at his house. He's the new rapper on the Dope House label. Yes. Dope House is owned by SPM, who's from Carrizo or Crystal, I believe.

SPEAKER_03 1:32:50

Oh, he's from down here.

SPEAKER_01 1:32:51

Yeah, I thought he was from Houston all this time. No, no, he's from Carrizo or Crystal. I feel very uncultured that I didn't know.

SPEAKER_02 1:32:58

Well, I don't know if we want to claim him though. Uh he has some things.

SPEAKER_01 1:33:01

But he is he's in the hooscow for a 47-year sentence. He's a fucking pedophile. He's a pedophile. And I looked it up this morning because I saw that he had released a new album, and I was like, they let that fucker out of the hooscow. So I'll go to Wikipedia and it's like, no, he's doing a 47-year sentence. He's eligible for parole now. But this is his second album that he's dropped since being incarcerated. This new uh album is called If Animals Could Talk. What? That sounds like our podcast. He is convicted of uh on his Wikipedia page, affiliated with the reasons he's incarcerated, a sexual encounter with a nine-year-old female, a 13-year-old female, two 14-year-old females, and he has a child, uh, DNA tested child from a 13-year-old girl he impregnated while he was in his 20s, like 22 or 23 years old. Damn. Pedophile. Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 1:33:59

I didn't know it was that many. I thought it was a I only thought it was the one. Not that it makes it any better, but I didn't know he had a habitual habit here. A jacket.

SPEAKER_01 1:34:07

Uh according to Wikipedia, this was habitual behavior. Um where are the parents? Where's the mother? Uh, one of the girls, the according to Wikipedia that was molested happened at his house at a sleepover with his daughter. His his real daughter was having a sleepover, and then he accosted one of the friends things. So pretty terrible. Assaulted, yeah. He still has 1.2 million monthly Spotify listeners.

SPEAKER_02 1:34:32

You listen to him, don't you? I do. He's on two of my playlists. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 1:34:37

He's on the Mexican radio. Yep. Hey, that that song was big on TikTok like two years ago.

SPEAKER_03 1:34:42

Uh, I mean, I just imagine, like, I wonder if everything you hear about strictly dickly, you can't get with me. I mean, those lines are gonna go hard no matter what.

SPEAKER_01 1:34:53

Yeah, I mean, he's he's in the paint, but you know, everyone says that pedophile life's like the worst life in the world in the in a jail. You think he's like gets a pass because he's uh dope house record man, or like uh saying that Chris Brown, he beat the shit out of Rihanna, and he's still selling out shows.

SPEAKER_03 1:35:13

Everybody's like, fuck it.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:14

If you don't press charges, then that's it. Isn't that right?

SPEAKER_01 1:35:17

I I don't know when we're gonna have a national history of Latino culture, but I expect SPM to have a deal right next to Cosby. Yeah. Yeah. It's PM. So uh I'm all for Dopehouse Records. I'm all for Sauce Baby going big.

SPEAKER_03 1:35:36

We all know who won't watch the NFL anymore because they were kneeling and we're still listening to the Mexican records.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:42

The only thing I do like is that title, If Animals Could Talk.

SPEAKER_01 1:35:45

I thought it was a great uh album name, too.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:48

Maybe I thought he was talking about like nine-year-old animals, like if they could talk after he fucked.

SPEAKER_01 1:35:53

I don't know. Oh my god, it's terrible.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:55

Thank God they can't talk.

SPEAKER_01 1:35:56

Uh, did you see they had the Krampus parade in Southtown San Antonio?

SPEAKER_02 1:36:00

My mom, my mom's uh staunchly against this. She thinks it's so like satanic demonic, yeah. Yeah, it's stupid though. I don't like it.

Firehouse Fire, Spray Foam, And Welding Fires

SPEAKER_01 1:36:08

It was all demon costumes and ladies with cairn cuts, was in the parade. So I looked it up, and Krampus is the anti-Santa Claus.

SPEAKER_02 1:36:16

Oh god. He takes your presents.

SPEAKER_03 1:36:18

No, if you're naughty, he comes and he whips you and beats you with uh branches. For bad kids to get kids to behave.

SPEAKER_01 1:36:24

We need Krampus in Uvalda now. There's a lot of little silver full teeth fucking kids that need their ass whipped. They still run around with silver full teeth. I haven't seen a silver toothed kid and I got a gold tooth. You do? Oh, I like that.

SPEAKER_03 1:36:37

How much did that cost? It was a hundred extra dollars for gold tooth. Oh, you gotta go gold.

SPEAKER_01 1:36:42

I'm jealous right now. I haven't been I try not to let envy run in my life, but right now, my friend, I am green.

SPEAKER_03 1:36:48

So it was the my dentist was the lady running for uh Congress or whatever with the big sombrero. Oh, yeah, Alma. She would show up, boots, dress, she'd take her sombrero off, get to work on her teeth, and she said, Do you want gold or whatever the other option was? And I said, How much extra is it for gold? She said, 100 bucks. I said, I'll be taking the gold. I'll be having the gold.

SPEAKER_02 1:37:10

That's like when I got my aluminum dry shaft. They're like, 100 bucks extra.

SPEAKER_03 1:37:13

I'm like, just do it. She's a salesman. Women are great salesmen, they're the best.

SPEAKER_02 1:37:18

But um, what was I gonna say? There's a dentist here in town, she's Indian. What about that? Are we on her side?

SPEAKER_01 1:37:27

I mean, as long as the sink is in the dentist's office where you see her wash her hands before they go in your no, I'm kidding, they wear gloves. Think they reuse the gloves? I gutted that deer yesterday with gloves. Latex gloves are expensive. Dude, I gutted the deer with latex gloves yesterday. I was like, God, so much better. What the fuck? It it was gloves. So my hands already stunk because I'd grabbed the piss hocks when we loaded it up because I didn't have the gloves. Yeah. And now we're we're gutting deer hanging them now, which is something I never did. When I was a if you would have hung a deer and gut it when I was a kid, I would have thought you were sacrilegious. Like I would have called you a devil worship.

SPEAKER_02 1:38:05

I've never seen it.

SPEAKER_01 1:38:06

But now that I know that I've got worms and no ass and all gut, bending over on the ground, wrestling one of these bastards to gut them a winded. Not winded, but you know what I mean. You're winded, though. Old and fat. And so now hanging them up is easy. And somebody had left some some uh latex gloves. What a treat. I felt like a doctor.

SPEAKER_03 1:38:25

Yeah. So my guys used to always bitch because the paint mints for pipe bleed through, and I started buying latex gloves. I don't know why I never nobody had ever offered me a latex glove or anything growing up, but it's been a big game changer. Game changer. Nobody minds painting anymore. Yeah, it's a little thing. They're like, where the like why haven't we been doing that?

SPEAKER_02 1:38:43

I don't like hunting. I don't like that. It's too much work.

SPEAKER_01 1:38:45

Do you ever just not gut your gear? Uh I have some guys that come from that are from East Texas, and they can they can gut one and get all the meat off and leave the guts in the carcass. They got like a heel-billy way of doing it. They've showed me three times, and I'm like, I'll never know how to do that. If I mean, really, if you're not gonna take the rib cages, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:39:08

I'm not I'm not gonna do deer ribs.

SPEAKER_03 1:39:10

You can just leave the guts in there. You just cut enough down to pull the tenderloins out.

unknown 1:39:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:14

If you want to get a deer processing, Valley, where do you go?

SPEAKER_03 1:39:17

Mark Roberts. Yeah, I would agree with that.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:20

Is that just the guy who does it on the side?

SPEAKER_03 1:39:21

Yeah, he runs dove hunts and he is he's uh on 83 North. He's got the big uh the rebel flag and the American flag.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:28

Oh, that's him. Oh, okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:39:29

What I like about him, I called him one time later at night and uh he said, I'll I'll take your deer late because you're from here, you're not from fucking Houston.

SPEAKER_01 1:39:38

I was like, I'll be bringing my deer here for the rest of my life. Um I would I would do trading with Uvalley Meat when Jikowski's owned it. Uh, but since they've gone out of it, I it's more Who owns it now? I can tell you.

SPEAKER_03 1:39:51

I won't go there now because they used to be open eight to eight days a week.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:56

They're closed during sometime during the week.

SPEAKER_03 1:39:58

They were open eight to eight. For 8 a.m. to 8 p.m., seven days a week during deer season. And now you gotta like call and bring your deer tomorrow and it's a steak and share dish. You shoot your deer planning to take it there. They should be over.

SPEAKER_01 1:40:11

I was a loyal customer of them, theirs for a long time, and now there's a lot of inconsistency with the hours and stuff. And so I just I've kind of just moved on. Uh I can remember back in the day when I guess Mark Roberts had his deal at Country Junction. Yeah, I remember. That was the bomb. Yeah. That was that was he makes real good dried sausage. He makes damn good dried sausage.

SPEAKER_02 1:40:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:40:32

There's a guy on Facebook named Chivo Guedo. You know who I'm talking about? He's a he's a white guy with a big old like goat beard, but he speaks Spanish and he's a good one. He's a truck driver. Oh, dude. And he just makes videos of being at Mexican restaurants and eating Minuto. Everything's about eating Minuto, and then he'll drink a Kawamba. He'll be driving his truck and he'll stop at a bridge where there's a river and he'll take a beer out of his truck and go sit in the river and drink a beer under the bridge.

SPEAKER_02 1:40:59

He'll be in Chicago and Lake Michigan with a fucking Medello.

SPEAKER_01 1:41:02

With a Medello.

SPEAKER_02 1:41:03

Dude.

SPEAKER_01 1:41:04

He's an 18-wheeler.

SPEAKER_02 1:41:06

He drives an 18-wheeler.

SPEAKER_01 1:41:07

And I'll I'll share some of his. I don't think he's on Instagram, but he's back. He like randomly goes off and then he pops back up. You should be more like him. He's like your gold stuff. Dude, he's got puttas too. He's he had one the other day. He had one in Alice, Texas this week. He's in Nevada with some ladies. He was making him chorizo and eggs. He had a big old BBL. He's live, he's living.

SPEAKER_02 1:41:32

That's the way it used to happen.

SPEAKER_03 1:41:33

I'm jealous of this guy.

SPEAKER_02 1:41:34

That's the way he used to be. Yeah. Until queers like me came and I'm like, I just want to sit in my truck.

Slap Fighting, Funeral Singer, Viral Bits

SPEAKER_03 1:41:39

Fucking log books. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:41:41

I'm going to do my e-logs and and uh uh edit my podcast.

SPEAKER_02 1:41:45

Hey, that's me out with the BBL. That's the federal government's deal.

SPEAKER_03 1:41:48

Hey, no mom missed. I don't know how this guy did it, but at the produce shed, I had a guy ship. No, I had a guy on staff who could hack the e-logs.

SPEAKER_04 1:41:57

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03 1:41:58

And so sometimes truck drivers would be like, I'm about to run out of time, or yada yada yada. I could just send this guy in his truck and he would do doot. We'd get him back on the road.

SPEAKER_02 1:42:06

That sounds dangerous.

SPEAKER_01 1:42:07

Apparently, there's a bunch of Chicago-based trucking companies that are kind of like maybe I should take that out. We probably should have been doing that, but we didn't statute limitations.

SPEAKER_02 1:42:17

I don't care.

SPEAKER_01 1:42:19

Uh but the uh yeah, but apparently, like these crime syndicates are in the trucking deal, and they're they get these immigrants and they'll run them basically 16, 18 hours a day, seven days a week, and they're just manipulating their logs all the time. And now there's a big effort to like crack down. But if you're a driver, like obviously there's a lot of idle time as a truck driver. So if you're one of these guys that wants to work all the time and you can make a shit ton of money because the truck's always running. Uh, and so it's it's interesting.

SPEAKER_02 1:42:49

Yeah, they're all Eastern European out of Chicago.

SPEAKER_03 1:42:51

It's bullshit that when you're idling, you're like you're on duty still. Are you?

SPEAKER_02 1:42:56

Like when you're waiting at the You don't have to be, you can log to Sleeper.

SPEAKER_03 1:43:00

I don't I don't know how we're I just know. I know you don't tell me. Well I went to CDL still.

SPEAKER_02 1:43:04

Tell them to go to tell them to go to Sleeper, it's fine.

SPEAKER_03 1:43:07

You have a CDL McNew? I do. No, you don't.

SPEAKER_02 1:43:10

You have a medical card though.

SPEAKER_03 1:43:11

We have three commercial CDL guys. We have three commercial truck drivers on this podcast right now.

SPEAKER_01 1:43:15

That's why it's so good. That's why we know so much cavron. How many states have you been to? In a truck?

SPEAKER_02 1:43:23

No, just in your life.

SPEAKER_03 1:43:26

Probably I would say 10. Oh, okay. I haven't been to a whole bunch.

SPEAKER_01 1:43:29

What about you? 46. 47. Uh, that's more than me. I'm I'm but I'm I think I hit the 40s here recently uh by getting around.

SPEAKER_03 1:43:38

I'm like a basic you like I've been to from Texas to Florida, yeah. And I've been to New Mexico, Colorado.

SPEAKER_01 1:43:46

You pretty much have only go to a place where the worms are. When it gets too cold for worms, you ain't been there yet. I have been to Vermont. You definitely got worms.

SPEAKER_02 1:43:55

You see a lot, dude, there's a lot of stuff going on out there.

SPEAKER_01 1:43:58

Uh what do you think's a better diet? Worms, meth, AIDS, fat surgery, or diet and exercise?

SPEAKER_02 1:44:06

AIDS.

SPEAKER_01 1:44:07

AIDS.

SPEAKER_02 1:44:07

Because you can have the pill. You get the pill and it gets you down. Their T cells come up and that goes down, and you can like not spread it.

SPEAKER_01 1:44:14

And there's a high chance that you actually had sexual contact to get that. So you got that going for you.

SPEAKER_03 1:44:20

The OZIP thing seems to be working for everybody.

SPEAKER_01 1:44:24

Dude, you just like see fragments of people. I want to know like how much money these clothes companies have made just because of like Ozempic. Right, buy new clothes. Because when you're getting fat, you can still like wear the same clothes. Like to go from a large to an extra large takes three years. But if you're on this Ozempic shit, you can go from an extra large to a medium to baby clothes.

SPEAKER_03 1:44:47

Yeah, in like five or six months. Yeah, it's crazy. I don't know. Diet and exercise is hard.

SPEAKER_02 1:44:52

What do you say? You run six ten or ten miles a week?

SPEAKER_03 1:44:56

Like I try and run between six months. Like you jump. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:44:58

Where?

SPEAKER_03 1:44:59

Uh at the track, usually, because it's close to my house.

Breakfast Wars: Whataburger Vs McD’s

SPEAKER_01 1:45:01

I can't wait till this baby comes. You're gonna be six to ten miles a year running. That shit'll change. You'll yeah, but he's he's active though. He is acting. That really doesn't matter. It's all diet. I think the older you get. Like you can be solid muscle, stronger in the son of a bitch, but if your genes are got some ponzon in you, you're gonna swell up a little bit.

SPEAKER_02 1:45:25

That's the next yeah. Tomorrow I'm starting my five-day fast. Not eating for five days. I would like to see you to accomplish that.

SPEAKER_03 1:45:32

Water only?

SPEAKER_02 1:45:33

Coffee and water. Water and coffee.

SPEAKER_03 1:45:35

Yeah. It's hard. I tried to do a 72-hour one one time, and I remember I was fucking like, I can take some tums, right? I got heartburn. I just wanted to eat something.

SPEAKER_01 1:45:46

Eating the fingernails. God damn. I don't I'm not gonna do it. I know that. I know I'm not dieting or not.

SPEAKER_02 1:45:52

There's a there's an Indian guy on Instagram he says all your ail all your ailments will go away if you just don't eat for 72 hours.

SPEAKER_01 1:46:00

Get rid of the worms.

SPEAKER_02 1:46:01

Get rid of something.

SPEAKER_01 1:46:02

I also saw another guy that was like drinking mescal one shot every morning, and apparently that'll kill all the parasites in you too. Like one shot.

SPEAKER_02 1:46:11

If you drop a worm in in alcohol, it just dies instantly. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:46:14

You had the lap band, right? I no, I had the the uh the other one. And but like I had 10 years ago, I had the sleeve or whatever, 10 years ago, and like the other still works, you got real skin. A bunch of people around you. I dude you were skinnier than Clint Lafear. But the other day I was like, I think I need an extra large shirt. Like it it's slowly like you this is an extra large shirt. You can have all of the you you can try to beat it, but if you have bad habits, like that shit'll come back. Yeah, yeah. It's just and uh I don't know like everybody has bad habits, and like I don't know. I guess I'm glad my bad habits are like tortillas instead of you know spoons full of drugs.

SPEAKER_03 1:46:56

Well, I know I know y'all hate my podcast, but we've been saying since we started the best way to tell if somebody's good person is if they were fat, got skinny, and then got fat again. But if you're fat and get skinny and stay skinny, you're probably a piece of shit.

SPEAKER_02 1:47:08

I've gotten fat and skinny.

SPEAKER_01 1:47:09

That's good wisdom. Wait, why? Ladies and gentlemen, you might have missed waller wisdom. Go repeat yourself.

SPEAKER_02 1:47:17

Yeah, why why is that good? If you're fat, if you're fat, skinny, fat, you're good. If you're fat, skinny, and stay skinny.

SPEAKER_03 1:47:23

You're probably a piece of shit.

SPEAKER_02 1:47:24

Why?

SPEAKER_03 1:47:25

I don't just all the people I know in my life that are good people have all been fat, got skinny, and then got fat again.

SPEAKER_02 1:47:31

I lost 80 pounds one year.

SPEAKER_03 1:47:33

And look at you now, see, you're probably a good person.

SPEAKER_02 1:47:36

Gain it all back.

SPEAKER_03 1:47:36

You might be the one off, though. You might be.

SPEAKER_01 1:47:38

Ox and I had we had lunch. Don't tell me ex girlfriend that I told him uh he said he's gonna lose weight, and I said the only way you're gonna lose weight is when they cut your leg off with a diabetes.

SPEAKER_02 1:47:48

Yeah, no, I'm I'm going on my diet.

SPEAKER_03 1:47:52

That's good shit right there.

SPEAKER_02 1:47:54

I don't even want to talk about that because it might happen.

SPEAKER_03 1:47:55

I lost 50 pounds, but I'm still fat.

SPEAKER_01 1:47:58

50-pound leg? My arms are a lot stronger. I'm wheeling myself around.

SPEAKER_02 1:48:02

Oh shit.

SPEAKER_01 1:48:04

Uh you make beef jerky or your dad does. How's he doing?

SPEAKER_02 1:48:07

He's he puts it, he gets a dehydrator, he slices it with his little slicer, and then he just sticks it in there and cooks it for like 16 hours. Dries it out, it's good.

SPEAKER_03 1:48:17

It's not the same as when you smoke it, but it's not bad.

SPEAKER_02 1:48:19

Yeah. But still, if you're if you're not gonna have it, might as well just do it that way.

SPEAKER_03 1:48:22

Could you make jerky in an air fryer?

SPEAKER_02 1:48:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:48:26

I don't know. It's like an oven. You could make jerky in an oven. Might be good. I don't know. I never made any jerky. You don't want to try it. I do. Do it. I do stick it in your oven.

SPEAKER_03 1:48:36

There's a lot of things I'd like to do, but I just don't want to take the time to do it. Yeah. Like make beef jerky eggs.

SPEAKER_01 1:48:43

You don't know me well enough to know this, but if I made a huge fucking mess in my kitchen making jerky and the jerky was bad, it would ruin my life for like a week. I would be so I would be lower than a snake's dick.

SPEAKER_00 1:48:54

How would you ruin the whole kitchen though? It'd just be like a fucking mess and like shit everywhere.

SPEAKER_01 1:49:00

And like I'm a psycho, dude. I'm so fucking. You're not even willing to take the shot at it. I just don't think the juice is worth the squeeze. I know I can get jerky that's good. That's$80 a fucking bucket. Uh I I know I can make$80. And if I like failed at making jerky, especially like I know like you might be able to do it, and then I couldn't, that would fuck me up. I would be like in a spiral depression for a week. What do you want?

Oil Changes, Tires, And Shop Tales

SPEAKER_03 1:49:27

I think everybody would lose a lot of weight if you couldn't get fried food from restaurants. Yeah. Because the reason nobody makes fried food at home is because you make such a fucking mess. That is so. It's a lot to clean up. That is so true. And you're like, oh, I can just go get a chicken fried steak at Amber Sky.

SPEAKER_02 1:49:41

I asked my dad a fried turkey, he wanted to kill me. That peanut oil, fuck that shit.

SPEAKER_01 1:49:47

And the most people that do fry food and do stuff, they have a setup, an outside setup to do it. Like it's uh, you know, dad fries fish or you know, Uncle Charlie or whatever the hell it is. But you're you're there's not a lot of things. That's like a whole nother lifestyle side. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:50:03

It makes a mess.

SPEAKER_01 1:50:04

It does make a mess. So makes me want some fried food though. We gotta clean it up.

SPEAKER_03 1:50:11

Hey, I think today I'm gonna call Conrad or Chris and see if either of them would be willing to fight you.

SPEAKER_02 1:50:16

Why don't you tell him to release that fucking podcast? South Park Mexican. When did you tell him to do that?

SPEAKER_03 1:50:22

Uh you think Sauce is gonna do a little performance?

SPEAKER_00 1:50:26

Why sauce? I don't get it. That's his name. I know, but why? You think who do you think? I think Conrad would fight Ox.

SPEAKER_03 1:50:31

I think Conrad would beat the shit out of Ox.

SPEAKER_02 1:50:34

I never said I wouldn't try to fight him. I just shoot him.

SPEAKER_01 1:50:38

Oh my god. And this and this is why I'm questioning going to South Park today. South Park Mexican at South Park Street. That's right.

SPEAKER_02 1:50:47

We're not gonna fight anybody. That's crazy.

SPEAKER_01 1:50:50

Uh I guess we're kind of every every every person's guilty of something. That's that's true. I'm glad I'm not sure. Why don't you bring that up?

SPEAKER_02 1:51:02

Why'd you bring that up? What was your reasoning behind that?

SPEAKER_01 1:51:05

Uh so the I watched something the other day was talking about how just like everybody who's basically mainstream successful is is compromised. Oh yeah. Oh yeah, yeah. And uh they can be s pushed in any kind of direction. Like they're like apparently according to the internet, which at some point the fucking internet has to be right. Like it can be wrong all the time. It's like a broken clock. But like the what broken clocks are right twice. Whether it's hackers or whether it's government agencies or intelligence agencies, like every every one of your phones, your television, the speakers that are in your house, like all this stuff can be manipulated or compromised. And like there is audio or video or photographs or something of you doing something that you're not proud of. Every single person has that. Not only that, but the AI is so fucking good, they they can just make it up. And if you it's like a blitz, Craig. Like if I publish a story that's true that's fake, enough people believe it to like level you down. And so at some point, when your cash flow, like if you're if you're living a millionaire jet set in life, at some point you're spending so much, like your lifestyle will really change if your m money comes, changes. Like, so that's why you see these guys that are like, oh, this guy was you know, George Strait or whatever. Like that's why George Strait, the cowboy doesn't ride away because the cowboys gotta buy jet fuel. Yeah, and every so often you gotta get your fucking guitar out and go make a little money, and do another last show, and do another last show.

SPEAKER_02 1:52:42

I heard JD Vance is compromised.

SPEAKER_03 1:52:44

Uh I I think everyone. I don't think you can be in that high of government and not be compromised somewhere.

SPEAKER_02 1:52:49

And he's got the Indian wife. What's that?

SPEAKER_01 1:52:51

I just I feel like that I'm such a like I would be I would be interested. That's like a good mental exercise. Is like what if if I became relevant enough to be like manipulated, compromised, blackmailed, like what would they make up? Because I feel like most things would be like, oh, that's funny. But like all of a sudden, if someone goes, Oh, you're a kid toucher, you're like, Well, I don't like I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, and I damp it. That's what they all say, like exactly, exactly. But like beyond that, like, I don't know, it's just a weird world that you live in.

SPEAKER_02 1:53:24

If animals can talk, we go back to the middle.

Small-Town Supply Chains And Hardware Hunts

SPEAKER_01 1:53:26

It's no different though than being in middle school. Because like you would be in middle school and you'd be like, Hey, watch this, and you would just make some shit up about somebody. Oh, yeah. And then like half the people believe that shit. No, I think you're the only one that did that, dude. Phelps and I made up a story one time that this kid's whole family showered together. Uh-huh. And they're still like like two years ago, we were somewhere and like someone's like, You remember those fuckers used to shower together? We're like, damn, we made that up. And they're like, No way, I believe these. Like, I've told like 900 people that I was like, Well, it was it was just us bored in sixth grade, and we made that up. That's how life goes.

SPEAKER_03 1:54:00

Still to this day, somebody, those sick bucks, yeah. Yeah, that poor kid, man.

SPEAKER_00 1:54:06

Yeah, I wish I can't I can't wait for you to tell me who that was. Yeah, I'll tell you why. People don't forget, they don't.

SPEAKER_01 1:54:12

So, uh, anyways, go be compromised, get rid of your worms. I don't y'all got anything else to add things.

SPEAKER_02 1:54:18

Just fucking live your life and be happy. Yeah, we're gonna get uh go eat lunch sometime. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 1:54:23

Uh I'm gonna officially announce Ox is gonna be on our next episode.

SPEAKER_02 1:54:26

Oh yeah, I did say I do though. So if they ever get one out.

SPEAKER_01 1:54:30

Uh I I kind of have a sneaky feeling you're gonna get uninvited.

SPEAKER_03 1:54:34

No, I'm I wouldn't retrograde a fight. Be on there and uh watch those guys, but you're not gonna have Steven here to carry you.

SPEAKER_02 1:54:42

What are you talking about?

SPEAKER_01 1:54:44

That's this is this is that's my exercise every week carrying this.

SPEAKER_02 1:54:48

This is our this is our dynamic here. I can make it work. So, what else do you know? I haven't said that once, have I?

SPEAKER_03 1:54:55

You said it a couple times.

SPEAKER_02 1:54:56

What do you know, buddy? I haven't said that today. Um uh McNew, what else do you know? Yeah, say something else. Yeah, you can't hear you now, can't we fucker? Uh no, this was fun. Yeah, it was. What anything you got? Anything else you got? I can't hear you. All right. I'm gonna let uh two years came to think.

SPEAKER_01 1:55:22

Well, I'll try to get one more in before Christmas. I'm about to be out of town for a little bit.

SPEAKER_02 1:55:26

For how long?

SPEAKER_01 1:55:27

Um a week. We'll do it the week after. Sounds like a fun game plan.

SPEAKER_02 1:55:31

All right, Baxter, take us out.

SPEAKER_00 1:55:33

Ladies and gentlemen, this was the Negpod. Underpod.