The Monclova Murderer

A Ziggy’s Taxidermy sponsor read kicks the door open, and then we do what we always do: follow the weirdest thread until it somehow starts sounding like real life. One minute we’re talking morbid taxidermy decor you’d actually see on a ranch, the next we’re mad about $700 car keys and laughing at how every “upgrade” in modern life feels suspiciously expensive. 

We get into truck talk and diesel ownership economics, including diesel exhaust fluid (DEF) costs, why people want DEF deletes, and how quickly “small fees” turn into real money over a year. From there we bounce through pure culture whiplash: juggalos, nu metal nostalgia, Creed making a comeback, and the kind of memories that show up at the worst possible time when your kids are in the car. 

Then it gets local in the best way. We recap a Uvalde boxing night with the energy, the Spanish music, the anthem moment, and the strange way a crowd starts shadowboxing just from watching fights. We also hit the less fun side of modern life: FedEx delivery failures, customer service that won’t let you talk to a human, and the feeling that everything is automated until it breaks. Somewhere in the middle we fall into RV park America, stray cats, and the stuff people pretend isn’t there. 

If you like story-driven comedy podcasts, small town Texas conversations, car buying tactics, and “how did we get here?” internet rabbit holes, you’ll feel right at home. Subscribe, share this with a friend who loves a good rant, and leave a review with the wildest part you want us to chase next.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:01

And we're back. What's up, Mingnu? What's up? Um I want to start out by saying we're sponsored by Ziggy's Taxidermy. I need to kill something, take it up there. Uh you down it, we crown it.

SPEAKER_01 0:14

Is that what it is? No. I like that.

SPEAKER_02 0:16

I just thought I chat GPT.

SPEAKER_01 0:18

What uh what's the coolest taxidermy you've ever seen? Um, a human. Did you really? No. I'm assuming if you do enough animals, like a human wouldn't be a big deal at all.

SPEAKER_02 0:30

You'd probably pop up and be like, oh fuck, this guy's Jeffrey Epstein.

SPEAKER_01 0:34

Dahmer, maybe.

SPEAKER_02 0:35

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:36

Um I saw the coolest taxidermy I've ever seen. A friend of mine, he had shot a baboon and he had the fingers done where they're like, you know, both pointing at each other. Yeah. And in the index finger of the baboon, uh, the fingers were spring-loaded, and then the baboon was like standing up, kind of like a little butler with a huge smile, and it was holding a toilet paper roll in the bathroom.

SPEAKER_02 1:05

So it's kind of morbid.

SPEAKER_01 1:06

Yeah, but it was also kind of hilarious and creative.

SPEAKER_02 1:10

Oh, yeah. Wait, where was this?

SPEAKER_01 1:12

A friend of mine said his ranch.

SPEAKER_02 1:14

Oh, okay. Yeah. Oh, ranch life. Gotta have little jokes out there, too, I guess.

SPEAKER_01 1:19

All the jokes. And then there's a lot of knuckleheads that have like the raccoon and a fox and a canoe or some kind of shit like that. I've seen that in quite a few times. Two squirrels like mounting, like fucking or something. I like the old Mexico ones where they have all the frogs in a band, like they're playing the mariachi frogs.

SPEAKER_02 1:37

What'd they call that guy?

SPEAKER_01 1:38

Ziggy, if you could get us some mariachi frogs, I'm I'm in for the new office.

SPEAKER_02 1:42

Is it a Victoria Drink husband?

SPEAKER_01 1:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:44

Oh, okay. He's from the one from South South Africa.

SPEAKER_01 1:48

See, that's right. That's right.

SPEAKER_02 1:49

I wonder if he's a one of those boars. You know, they took him in from uh South Africa.

SPEAKER_01 1:57

Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. He'd probably be an interesting guy to have on here, actually.

SPEAKER_02 2:03

I'd love to have him on.

SPEAKER_01 2:04

If we had uh some interesting guests, that would be fun.

SPEAKER_02 2:08

Um he did the uh what I asked Ruby's to do. He jumped, he jumped up. To step yes, I'm gonna step up. To step up, Ruby? Shout out Ruby's.

SPEAKER_01 2:17

They do sponsors, but in a smaller, more um I heard Ruby's is just uh too busy kicking ass, taking names, making money and slinging drinks.

SPEAKER_02 2:28

No, they don't give a fuck about us.

Car Keys And Dealer Pricing Rage

SPEAKER_01 2:30

They don't. I rumor, I heard a rumor that they may be uh getting a liquor license at Ruby. They'll be full bar. Because right now it you gotta take your own, you can buy setups and then beer and wine. I They got the one of the finest wine selections in all of Uvaldi. Who does? Ruby's. Oh. Yeah. They got box red and they got box white. That way they do it now or they will have that. The they do have the finest wine selection in Uvaldi currently, but they're working on adding a liquor license. Okay. Yep. I fixed it. There's your truck honking. There it goes.

SPEAKER_02 3:07

Um I was worried about my$700 key. If you lose this, it's like$1,000 replacement. I thought they were like$350, but they're still ridiculous. It's ridiculous. What the fuck are they doing? I bought your$40,000 car and you're gonna charge me for these keys.

SPEAKER_01 3:21

If you had to go to a dealership and buy every part for a car and put it together, it would cost a million dollars.

SPEAKER_02 3:27

Sounds fun though. We might do that if we ever win like the lottery.

SPEAKER_01 3:30

Maybe that should be our YouTube channel.

SPEAKER_02 3:32

Dude, people would be like, I'm watching this shit.

SPEAKER_01 3:34

I'm gonna watch this shit, and then how stupid it is. Like, you should we should find the cheapest, shittiest car, and then we'll buy it one part at a time and put it together.

SPEAKER_02 3:43

Like that song, like a Johnny Cash song?

SPEAKER_01 3:45

Yeah, yes, yes.

SPEAKER_02 3:47

We're doing it a Ford Fiesta at a time. I was then I didn't I never liked that song because I'm like, What you're a thief? You're just gonna steal all this shit? Yeah, it was like pretty bullshit thievery. Yeah, I'm like, why don't you get another job?

SPEAKER_01 4:02

GM wouldn't miss just one little piece.

SPEAKER_02 4:04

They wouldn't miss any no, they wouldn't, especially now he could do it.

SPEAKER_01 4:07

But like I used to think that when I was young, and now that like you know, I've done some business with GM and it's like, oh look, I bought a uh a car that's a hundred thousand dollars and uh it broke it broke down the next week.

SPEAKER_02 4:20

Yeah, I like fuck them. You know, I don't know, those AC Delco parts though, they're nice. They're they're they're like quality. The government makes them do that though, that that quality. Oh, really? Yeah, like if if I'm doing like if I'm do I'm doing my scout now with uh GM motor and uh all the parts are GM like certified.

SPEAKER_01 4:42

I'm a G I like GM and I like Dodge. I'm not a huge uh I think it's Ford guy. Uh you're not? I'm not I'm really not.

SPEAKER_02 4:51

I've only had Fords and they've only like done well for me.

DEF Deletes And Trucking Math

SPEAKER_01 4:54

Um I don't have like anything against them, but when they went to like the full aluminum uh body, I was just like, I don't I don't I don't like that. Save on fuel. I guess kinda yes.

SPEAKER_02 5:09

Oh, they get rid of the they're getting rid of the deaf. Did you see that?

SPEAKER_01 5:12

Is that real? Is it gonna happen in the big trucks? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:16

Uh yeah, I think so.

SPEAKER_01 5:17

So like when that came out, like everything you own like with deaf in it, is gonna just like depreciate even faster because no one's gonna want that shit.

SPEAKER_02 5:26

Well, just take it to Cantu Motorsports and have them delete it.

SPEAKER_01 5:29

I was thinking about that though, like so this fuel price has gotten so out of hand and all these truckers and everything. I think Trump should come out like right now, sign an executive order in the morning and be like, if you I don't give a shit if it's a lawnmower, a pickup, a dually, or a semi, a freight train, anything. If it has def on it, a bulldozer, an excavator, you can have it deleted. Yeah. And then the delete what you spend at the shop on deleting it is fully deductible. Yeah. And obviously, like you can't like spend a hundred grand to go get one deleted or whatever. You know what I mean? Like it has to be legit. But then it's it's fully delete like you can totally depreciate it or write it off, get your money back, and then uh you would save how much would you save on your truck if you didn't have the the def expense?

SPEAKER_02 6:28

I don't know, but it's like five dollars a gallon.

SPEAKER_01 6:30

Def's five dollars a gallon.

SPEAKER_02 6:32

I remember when it was like eighty cents a gallon when it first came out. How often are you filling up with uh maybe like once or twice a week?

SPEAKER_01 6:39

And your def tank is eighty gallons? No, it's fit. It's not even it's probably like thirty. So it's a hundred and fifty, that's three hundred dollars a week. Uh essentially that would be fifteen grand a year. Yeah. That's probably what it would cost to delete it correctly. And so and then after that, you would be uh 15 grand ahead every year.

SPEAKER_02 7:04

Come on, Trump, step up for the truckers. It's a waste of like the you it's just like some nasty liquid um and they have like them in the boxes. You've seen those boxes. It's trash everywhere, trash everywhere.

SPEAKER_01 7:16

It's the biggest scam. Everything's a scam.

SPEAKER_02 7:19

I remember when it came out, I was like, even I was I didn't really know that much about it. I was like, this sounds wrong. This seems wrong. I remember Obama did it. I was like, this seems like it's fucked up.

SPEAKER_00 7:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:30

Some like urea liquid.

SPEAKER_01 7:33

Um and grabbing that thing is the nastiest deal. Like I used to think it was a big deal. It's like, oh shit, you gotta be careful you get diesel over, you're gonna smell like diesel all day. I'll rub the diesel hose behind my ear other than have like this like sticky depth residual all over me.

SPEAKER_02 7:50

Don't you have like it need a heater? It needs to heat up to keep it from like clotting up.

SPEAKER_01 7:55

But if you get too much sun on it, then it breaks it apart and it'll crystallize. It's just trash.

SPEAKER_02 8:01

I thought about drinking a 32-ounce cup of it.

SPEAKER_01 8:04

I'll but I will pay you a hundred dollars an ounce. How much death can you drink?

SPEAKER_02 8:10

It's like this when you hear those stories about women like poisoning their husbands with uh antifreeze. Yeah, because it tastes sweet, kind of you put it in your Dr. Pepper and you can't really taste it.

SPEAKER_01 8:20

That's how you get those young kids.

SPEAKER_02 8:22

What, to die?

unknown 8:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:25

Fuck, I guess. Or your dog. I think dogs drink it and die all the time.

SPEAKER_01 8:29

Yeah, that yeah, that's a thing. People soak meat and uh soak chicken. It's not something your daddy antifreeze, and then you throw it over the fence. Yeah. The antifreeze don't get on the bones, will be the whole carnal carnies.

SPEAKER_02 8:45

I hate the idea of being mean to animals. I do. But if someone uh if another dog attacks me or my dog, then that dog's going down.

SPEAKER_01 8:54

You hate that.

SPEAKER_02 8:55

I'm gonna kick it right in the gut. I don't want to, I hate the idea, but that's the only time I'll do it.

SPEAKER_01 9:00

Um I think there's actually a consensus that most people have more compassion for animals than they do humans. I think because they're that's a real thing.

Juggalos And Nostalgia Music Takes

SPEAKER_02 9:08

Because they're you can't, they're not like thinking, they're just like active, like or reactive, they're not like you know, plotting or whatever. Yeah. What's up, dude? Ziggy's, yeah. Show down. I told him I do the top of the show and at the end. Nice.

SPEAKER_01 9:26

Why is uh why is the insane claim insane clown posse so cool?

SPEAKER_02 9:30

I know. I saw that. I was like, is he talking about insane clowns? Well, what do you mean? I never hear about him.

SPEAKER_01 9:36

The juggalos. Oh yeah, they've been doing juggalo shit for like 20, 30 years now. 30 years, probably. Those clowns, those dislike what's the best way to describe them? They're just horrible, horrible they're just like white trash rappers, but they're like white trash on a whole nother level. Like they're like in the they boil hot dogs in grape soda, they're like three-quarters of the way of being a Satanist. They're almost they're almost Satanists, but they're like, we don't need you trashy spam eating fucks in our in our devil club. Yeah, exactly. And how old are those two clowns? I remember when they're on Howard Stern, remember that. And they're all what are they?

SPEAKER_02 10:16

I remember watching them like 2000, like these guys are fucked up.

SPEAKER_01 10:19

Dude, these these are bad. I remember the first time I was exposed to them, I was like 15, and I said, These are bad people. Yeah. Bad people, and now there's worse people, and they're rocking and rolling. They have the gathering of the juggalos every year.

SPEAKER_02 10:35

And these women, who are these girls that go out there like in bikini tops?

SPEAKER_01 10:39

Uh yeah, and they're like this, they're like taking dumps in Ziploc bags and throwing them at people.

SPEAKER_02 10:44

Like I mean, I can think of maybe like one or two from Uvaldi High School.

SPEAKER_01 10:48

If you're a Uvaldi juggalo, give us a shout out. Shout out. Shout out, Uvaldi Juggalo.

SPEAKER_02 10:53

I I know a couple, I would say, but I'm not gonna say it on the show.

SPEAKER_01 10:57

Drop one.

SPEAKER_02 10:58

No, um I know I can't I'll never do this.

SPEAKER_01 11:04

Well, I could see a Uvaldi juggalo with just a whole coyote tail on a butt plug running around or whatever. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:11

Oh, butt plug. Don't they wear tail plugs or I don't know. I thought maybe come in their jugs.

SPEAKER_01 11:17

Everything I know recently about uh the juggalos is I got into the rabbit hole on Twitter one night. Of course, you know, it's uncensored on there, and it was just like just a bunch of people at like a dirty campground doing filthy things. Oh fuck. And they were dirty in every state.

SPEAKER_02 11:38

They boil hot dogs in grape soda? Yeah. Oh fuck. That's sick.

SPEAKER_01 11:47

And the weenies turn all grape and then they eat them.

SPEAKER_02 11:52

That is a weird uh drink the juice.

SPEAKER_01 11:54

That's a weird group of people. It is, and they're clowns. And they're clowns. I don't get it.

SPEAKER_02 12:01

That's another thing I don't get.

SPEAKER_01 12:02

I would like to go undercover at one of those things, but I don't think I think I would get sniffed out immediately.

SPEAKER_02 12:08

We should go do uh visit and do a recording like Felt said.

SPEAKER_01 12:11

You would look good with a face painted juggalo.

SPEAKER_02 12:14

They might kick my ass. Do they uh do they allow minorities?

SPEAKER_01 12:17

I think so, but it's mostly whites.

SPEAKER_02 12:20

It's all whites.

SPEAKER_01 12:21

Nah, there's a few black ones I've seen. I feel like there's limp biscuit and ICP are kind of the same. Maybe not. Uh Limp Biscuit's the Christian version of ICP.

SPEAKER_02 12:31

Yeah, exactly. Remember Limp Biscuit? That was a crazy time. Crazy time. Who else? Ken Rock was in that group. Corn. Remember corn?

SPEAKER_01 12:44

I do.

SPEAKER_02 12:45

Shout out Martin Manry. He liked he loved corn. I don't know why.

SPEAKER_01 12:50

There was corn stickers everywhere, and you just see them. Remember, do you remember Creed? Everyone loved Creed. Creed played at Houston Rodeo. It was like a sold-out show. Did you see it? I couldn't go, but I was like, I was looking, and this is one I'd be interested in maybe seeing. Was it sold out?

SPEAKER_02 13:08

I heard it was pretty packed. People love fucking Creed. And they remember when they came out and I was like, this is kind of stupid. And then they fell off so fucking hard. And now they're back, dude. I hear their songs everywhere.

SPEAKER_01 13:18

My kids make fun of me because I have a couple of Creed songs on some playlists, and I feel like they only come on when my kids are in the card. And they're like, You love Creed? Creed? Yeah, they make fun of me.

SPEAKER_02 13:32

I don't know. It just takes you back though when you hear those songs. It does. I remember when they're like underground. I remember like Hunter Ray was talking about Creed when they're like when they first came out.

SPEAKER_01 13:41

Are they a Christian band or is that like a rumor?

SPEAKER_02 13:43

I think they started as that, and then they can they went mainstream.

SPEAKER_01 13:45

They got some cocaine, and we're like, We're a man we're rock stars now.

SPEAKER_02 13:50

That's funny. Creed.

SPEAKER_01 13:52

They went undercover his nickelback for a decade and came back as Creed.

SPEAKER_02 13:56

What about three doors down? That dude died. See that? Really? Yeah. He had some crazy cancer deal.

SPEAKER_01 14:04

Death was behind door number three. Um, I saw an interesting clip the other day of uh a sports show, and the host was a black guy, and I don't know, I didn't know who he was, but he had a show and it was on a popular network, so I assume he knows what he's talking about.

SPEAKER_02 14:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:23

And the name of this segment was called Exciting Whites. And he was basically saying that there are more exciting white people in basketball in the March Madness tournament than there are black players. And he was like, We're being replaced. Oh these Europeans. Yes, like these Slavic European uh whites.

SPEAKER_02 14:48

They don't even like basketball. Have you seen that? They just want to go home and play with their horses. Have you seen that? They wanna race. They're they're like kind of gypsies. Yeah, they're like, uh, did we win? No, okay, I'm going home. I'm going back to Yugoslavia.

SPEAKER_01 14:59

I'm going back to Yugoslavia. And I bet there's some of them have a real passion for fighting like dogs, but they just talk about horses instead. We're like my horse, and it's like, yeah, they're fighting dogs. They just got a bunch of Kurdish hounds fighting.

SPEAKER_02 15:15

Do you think they're fighting dogs or chickens?

SPEAKER_01 15:19

I think they'd fight dogs in that part of the world.

SPEAKER_02 15:22

Have you ever been to a dog fight?

SPEAKER_01 15:23

I haven't.

SPEAKER_02 15:24

I hate I would hate I hate that idea.

SPEAKER_01 15:26

Uh I remember uh hearing that they used to have them out in the beach on the dunes in Corpus Christi at night.

SPEAKER_02 15:34

Oh man, that must have been some trashy shit.

SPEAKER_01 15:36

You get your four-wheel drive truck and go on down to the dunes.

SPEAKER_02 15:40

And get some dogs that kill each other? You gotta go two miles past the shark fisherman. How do you like bet you're like, oh yes, this dog beat eating that other dog? And be like, I'm out of here. I'm calling the cops.

SPEAKER_01 15:52

Everything I know about dog fighting is from when I read Call of the Wild in elementary school.

SPEAKER_02 15:58

Is that uh Hawthorne?

SPEAKER_01 16:00

Uh Jack London. Oh, Jack London, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:03

Um there's a oh, that's about dog fighting?

SPEAKER_01 16:05

But I it's start that's where that dog he escaped dog fighting. Buck. And then he he is on a bopsled team. Something, yeah. Save somebody with a whiskey around his neck or something.

SPEAKER_02 16:15

Oh, okay. I remember that cartoon.

Uvalde Boxing Night Crowd Energy

SPEAKER_01 16:18

I like I still do like calling people dog fighters. I think it's an excellent discussion. You've been doing it for at least a decade. At least a decade. Yeah. If somebody's if someone's talking about somebody and they're like, what kind of guy is that? And you're like a dog fighter. You don't even have to know anything to know. I was like, fuck that. Next time I'll be like, he's a dog, he dog fights with the insane clown posse. And then you'll be like, oh, stay away from this motherfucker. Bad ombre.

SPEAKER_02 16:44

What about the fighting? What about the boxing last night? Did you go?

SPEAKER_01 16:47

Dude, we went to the Puroching Gusels UVLD boxing.

SPEAKER_02 16:51

I told my mom about it, she's like, that sounds terrible. I was like, yes, it sounds really bad.

SPEAKER_01 16:56

They've got another one in June, and uh I want to sp I want to sponsor it somehow. And I definitely want to go again if if I'm in town, I would like to imagine like a boxer wearing your face on his ass. I did not I did not realize it until this morning, actually. Yeah. It's just be like when you live in Uvaldi, especially hanging out, um, I don't know, a lot of the places I hang out, I just don't pay attention to demographics at all. I know. I'm just like I did I'm oblivious to that. I really care.

SPEAKER_02 17:29

I think that's the last thing I think about.

SPEAKER_01 17:31

Yeah. If I'm at the airport in Atlanta, I'm cognizant and be like, oh wow, because we don't have a bunch of black people.

SPEAKER_02 17:38

I see one or two, but I'm like actually I see some so little, I'm like, oh wow, there's one right there.

SPEAKER_01 17:44

Right, and Uvalde, like you would like but however, I went to the fight last night and I didn't realize till this morning. I was like, I'm like there may have only been three gringos at the whole deal. There might there's me and two others at my table, but we may have been Tasolito at the Chingasos. I I doubt it. There was probably more, but I just didn't see anyone else.

SPEAKER_02 18:09

Who else would have yeah, you didn't see anybody anyway?

SPEAKER_01 18:11

Um and it was really it was funny because everything, like the announcing was in English, like this is so and so, but all the fighters were uh Mexican guys, Hispanic guys um from all over the from around the state, it's mostly from San Antonio and Ubaldi. I'm sure you're a Mexican, you're gonna be cousins with somebody. Oh yeah. And uh, but then all of the walkout music, I guess what you would call it, when the fighters would enter, all the walkout music, all the intermission music, and all the entertainment music was all Spanish. Of course, I knew how most of the songs.

SPEAKER_02 18:54

Didn't they do the Mexican national anthem?

SPEAKER_01 18:56

And then the and then before the prize fight, they did the Mexican national anthem, and I was like, fuck, I guess this kid's gonna be like from Sabinas or something. Yeah, Monclova. Thomas coming out, uh the Monclova murderer. Yeah, dude. And he was from goddamn Cuero. Um what a letdown. And I will say, I'm I'm not very cultured, and I realize that Mexico is one of these fabulous, fabulous places that's been here for a very, very long time in a lot of history.

SPEAKER_02 19:25

At least uh 400 years, 300 years, 1400, I don't know.

Mexican Anthem Surprise And Commentary

SPEAKER_01 19:29

Long time. New Spain was there before mucho Mexico. Their national anthem kinda sounds like a like a Marachi? No, that's what I want it to sound like. Oh, what does it sound like? It sounds like a German? Uh no, it sounds like a a marching band that's not very s like impressive.

SPEAKER_02 19:54

Okay, I'm gonna play a are you in a are you in a hurry? No, I'm okay, okay. We can we're just gonna relax and do a relaxing show.

SPEAKER_01 20:02

But it it was I felt like I was watching the USC Trojans halftime show when I was listening to the Mexican national anthem. I'm not trying to throw shade.

SPEAKER_02 20:12

Go ahead. Um it has sounded out of place.

SPEAKER_01 20:15

But I tell you what, Phelps was with me, and he was you know, a dozen beers deep.

SPEAKER_02 20:22

Let me see if I can play this.

SPEAKER_01 20:24

And they were playing the Mexican national anthem, and then they played the American national anthem after it. And this is the first time I've ever seen him. He was like standing up straight, singing proud to be singing that. All right, play it.

SPEAKER_02 20:51

It sounds like kind of Russian almost. It does, right? Like but that's what they played. That's what they played. That's stupid.

SPEAKER_01 20:58

And I I know that I'm uh Bobby Polito's like, yeah, good job. I know I'm an idiot. I just thought, like, boy, like you said, I thought it was going to be like maybe more relatable to the Spanish type music that I've got. And this? No, what are you doing? Of course, we're one of the like the newer countries. What are those like you know, some of those countries in Africa, they change names and identities like every 90, like every three years.

SPEAKER_02 21:28

Yeah, as uh uh Zimbabwe used to be Rhodesio.

SPEAKER_01 21:31

Yeah. Do they have the they just like wrap their national anthems? We are here, we've got your oil, we'll rape all the boys and girls. The the blacks? The blacks? The I don't just the countries that change over like.

Africa Libya And Narrative Whiplash

SPEAKER_02 21:44

Oh, maybe. But there aren't they like they're like kill the farmer. Oh, is it dude? Uh if this is music, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_01 21:51

I I was reading some propaganda this morning online, and it was talking about the Democratic Republic of the Congo and how it It's one of the most resource rich places in the entire globe.

SPEAKER_02 22:03

It's supposed to be like awesome. Like the Amazon on steroids.

SPEAKER_01 22:07

The best rainforest, the deepest rivers, the best mineral deposits.

SPEAKER_02 22:11

I low-key want to visit.

SPEAKER_01 22:12

And it was like, but this country is it they can't get ahead because the average IQ is 69. Yeah. I don't know if that's true.

SPEAKER_02 22:22

It's like the same simbolia.

SPEAKER_01 22:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:24

I think I saw like the where the the line of like where Europe is and like Turkey and Asia. That there's a line that goes through, and that's where all the high IQ is. And above that and below are they get it gets lower, the IQ. I don't know why. It's the way the earth is. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 22:41

I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 22:42

It's kind of like they say like people with uh bigger dicks are below the equator.

SPEAKER_01 22:46

Really?

SPEAKER_02 22:47

Yeah. I don't know why.

SPEAKER_01 22:48

You know who I'm finding myself more and more of a fan of?

SPEAKER_02 22:51

What?

SPEAKER_01 22:52

Gaddafi.

SPEAKER_02 22:53

Uh from Libya?

SPEAKER_01 22:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:55

Why?

SPEAKER_01 22:56

I just feel like the world was a better place when he was in control over there. Like the African Middle East. Yeah. Well, we were such a rich country, from a poor country to a rich country. Well, wasn't Venezuela awesome before communism took over? That's what they say. That's what they say. They always say a lot of stuff.

SPEAKER_02 23:15

And who's saying all this? John Brady.

SPEAKER_01 23:17

The communists. Oh. Like Nancy would say.

SPEAKER_02 23:20

Wait, who's what kind wait, what? The communists here in America?

SPEAKER_01 23:23

I just say anywhere.

SPEAKER_02 23:24

Oh. I thought you were just gonna say the neocons.

SPEAKER_01 23:27

The neocons.

SPEAKER_02 23:28

Is a neocon? No, neocon was um as like the zenith of Israeli politics in American society? I don't know. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 23:43

Why the hell check us on that? Why is TikTok advertising on Facebook? I hate I'm just scrolling around through where I belong. Good old American Mark Zuckerberg Facebook. Does your son make fun of you for being on Facebook? And here I go to click on something and it's like taking me to TikTok. Why are these fuckers fishing for me? I hate and why does Facebook allow this all these kissing cousin son bitches? Why do they let them on there? I don't want on, I don't want them on my Facebook. You gotta start a group. Get these communists. What are they Chinese Jews that are on there?

SPEAKER_02 24:19

No, I think they're just Jews. Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_01 24:22

That's why that's why they're fishing on the show. Dude, people are hating these Jews now.

SPEAKER_02 24:25

It's like at a fever pitch.

SPEAKER_01 24:27

Like we kind of like joke around a lot, and I I don't really think that has anything to do with like the mass majority of American Jews or different things. But the Zionists and the Israeli Zionists, they are every time I open my phone, there is something negative. Um about them? Yeah. Except from Ted Cruz. Well, I think uh I know he's like Ted Cruz. I saw a great meme that said Ted Cruz represents the lone star state.

SPEAKER_02 24:56

Yeah, I saw that too. Just not this one? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:00

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 25:03

Um people hate Israel, but I think they hate them because they're kind of like us. They're like do anything to get ahead. We kill people every day that can have our the our our way of life.

SPEAKER_01 25:15

And they're trying to do the same thing. Who knew that Iran had this great social media game?

SPEAKER_02 25:22

Well, all they do is do uh what do you mean?

SPEAKER_01 25:24

They're like they're like a team America World Police memes and shit and like Lego Trump, and they're just putting out.

SPEAKER_02 25:32

That's like they hired your son to do it. Yeah. Well, it would just take a couple of the fucking goofy ass teenagers.

SPEAKER_01 25:38

Trey Parker and Matt Stone or Matt Stone, your mother. Uh do you remember they used to have the guy that was like, I can't remember what his title was, but he was the Iranian president that traveled. He wasn't the Ayatollah, but it was that Ahmed Jinnahad. He died. They killed him. Did they kill him like a long time ago?

SPEAKER_02 26:02

No, recently, airstrike.

SPEAKER_01 26:04

But he uh remember he would come to the United Nations and be like, our great country of Iran, we have no gays, no transgenders, no like he would just say all this crazy shit. Yeah. And we would and so we would give him an audience to come say crazy shit, and people from all over the world would like turn their back on him or walk out, and they would be so appalled. But it was it was so controversial in the world that we would give this give Iran the microphone, the microphone at the UN in New York to come in, and then and they would say terrible stuff and how bad we are because of our diversity and different things, and talk all this great stuff about Iran. Everybody was kind of appalled. And they've been appalled, they had been appalled with Iran for a long time. And now all of a sudden you've seen the narrative change. Like no one's bringing up all of the freedoms that don't exist and the people that they hide or say don't exist. I mean, I'm against blowing up schools, regardless. I don't give a shit who's in those schools. Well, no kidding. I mean, that's who's in the school, though. That's bad business. School of fish, I'm all about it. Oh, school of fish. That stupid Jack Black movie, School of Rock. I would have blown those kids up. Yeah, that was terrible. That was terrible.

SPEAKER_02 27:26

That was a diverse cast. I feel like we had diversity uh a long time ago, but now for some reason it's a problem. Yeah. Like people were saying there's not enough. We had a lot, right? Yeah. Remember cool runnings that we just talk about all the time. It was about four black dudes. And John Candy. It was my favorite movie for uh at least a year or two for a long time. I don't know. I don't know. There's too much going on.

SPEAKER_01 27:52

I think the social media's got everybody fucked up. You sent me a funny picture the other day of somebody's uh RV on social media. No, somebody was looking for their package, and FedEx had like just dropped it off at a random RV, like a like a tra a FEMA trailer.

FedEx Fails And No Human Help

SPEAKER_02 28:11

Yeah, it's bad. Does anyone know whose trailer this is? My package got delivered to this place, and it's just a fucking dumpy ass RV.

SPEAKER_01 28:20

Uh dude, I I'm telling you, I've had some problems with FedEx recently.

SPEAKER_02 28:26

How am I supposed to know where this is?

SPEAKER_01 28:27

I think this is Amazon, but I've had some FedEx problems recently. They don't give a rat's ass.

SPEAKER_02 28:35

I know. I ordered it apart from a truck, it's like$2,500 and they delivered it to like some dude like five houses down.

SPEAKER_01 28:41

I sent a guy some a check and it was supposed to go to Colorado, and they delivered it to the IRS in Utah. What? I'm not kidding. When was this? This is like six weeks ago. No shit. Yeah. I sent a money order or a like a cashier's check. Yeah. And then it got to the IRS, they signed for it, received it, and then they wouldn't give it back.

SPEAKER_02 29:10

Really? Yeah. Oh, they thought it was like somebody's payment, and they're like, we can't send this back.

SPEAKER_01 29:14

Once it goes in, it doesn't come back. It's not coming in. And so I had now I know the process for canceling a certified check.

SPEAKER_02 29:21

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01 29:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:22

But you canceled it.

SPEAKER_01 29:24

And then you know what FedEx did? They still billed me. I still haven't. I have I charged it on our a corporate account. And we had to pay the bill for them to refund it. I was like, how does that work? I'm gonna pay you, then you're gonna refund what I paid you. It doesn't make any sense. It doesn't make any sense. Everyone's getting fucked over now. Communist bastards. And you, God forbid, you talk to a human. Finally, I talked to some guy, Dylan, in India at seven o'clock on a Saturday morning. I'll tell you what, that was a helpful son of a bitch. There's some of them are helpful. It's surprising. Like every now and then you'll get someone that's so helpful and is like, can we get this guy over here? Do you ever see any good-looking Indian women? Yeah, I'm always on the lookout for them. I'm always on the lookout for them. I don't see enough, though. Not enough. There isn't there's they're out there.

SPEAKER_02 30:15

Yeah. There's not enough, I see.

SPEAKER_01 30:17

I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 30:18

I have to check my algorithm for that one. Oh, so Fells were drinking last night? Yeah. Oh man. Didn't he get out of control?

SPEAKER_01 30:27

No, nobody's out of control. I will tell another thing about the boxing. Everyone was on their best behavior. But there were some puro toros barrachos by the time we were done. Like people were there screaming like there were some credos going on by the end of it. And the Uvaldi kid like won. Oh he did? By unanimous decision. You know, so everyone was pumped up. But what was really funny is I don't know where everyone, I don't know if people were going to the Longhorn Bar or to Shorty's Lounge or Lumber. I don't know where everyone was going at 11:30 last night after the end of that fight. But I will tell you this. When you were a child and you watched like the Superman movie or X-Men, X-Men was when we were already grown, but like Superman or Spider-Man or something, you would like walk around your house and be like, or like trying to fly.

SPEAKER_02 31:24

I still do that in the shower of the water.

SPEAKER_01 31:25

You watch like Space Jam. You would like go home and shoot some hoops, like thinking these were fighting the hinted, the hinted last night. By the time the the like last fight was going on, everybody, the modellas were flowing, and you could see like people like shoulders were moving, like they were throwing punches, everyone's chest was getting a little bit more puffed out. Like going to Star Wars. Yeah, exactly. There is a lot of live action role-playing going on at the at the last fight last night. But it was a great time. I'm looking forward to the next one in June. Shout out to everyone who sponsored that, brought that to you, Valdi.

SPEAKER_02 32:11

Yeah, I heard it was a cool deal.

SPEAKER_01 32:12

It did not get enough press. It was crazy. We had the I saw the paper on Facebook. On Instagram, that was it. That was it. Whenever they had like the midget wrestlers here, that shit was everywhere. You couldn't I think I turned the radio on in Dallas and it came off. Yeah, exactly. It was everywhere. So whoever promotes the midgets, if they could promote this, because this is something uh, in my opinion, worthwhile of supporting. And I think you see these kids that are in there fighting, they're in great shape. When you're in that good of shape, I'll tell you what, you don't have time for being in fucking trouble, most likely. Yeah. Being able to stay out of it. Uh it's also every single one of those fighters came in and they fought and they fought hard and they got they were into it. And at the end of the fight, they were great sportsmen. They were kind to each other, they talked well about each other. It was none of this bravado ego shit. Yeah, man. I was really impressed with the whole thing. I had a great time.

SPEAKER_02 33:11

I just don't I don't know about boxing fighting, and like you're just gonna hurt yourself in the head? That's your most important part of your body. I mean I mean, cool, you it's your choice, but I'm like, is that should we be spending a lot of things?

SPEAKER_01 33:23

I feel like you could get more hurt being a BMX bike rider. Oh, we should be able to. And I definitely don't want to go watch that.

SPEAKER_02 33:30

No. People do watch it though. It sounds boring.

SPEAKER_01 33:32

Or skateboarding.

SPEAKER_02 33:33

What NASCAR? I don't want to watch that either. What about NASCAR?

SPEAKER_01 33:37

I don't want to watch that on TV, but I hear that's probably the one of the funnest spectator sports you can go to. Will Colony used to love NASCAR. I saw him at H B earlier. I want to go to NASCAR.

SPEAKER_02 33:47

Why you can't even drink? It's okay. No, it's not. You're gonna ruin my time when I'm there with you. Just puffing on a cigarette.

SPEAKER_01 33:58

Everybody thinks I'm ruining their time by not drinking.

SPEAKER_02 34:01

Yeah, because you're just judging us the whole time.

SPEAKER_01 34:04

You fucking I kept buying everybody beers last night. Every time they would get down to like two ounces of their 12-ounce beer left, I had another round coming. Uh everybody was all hiccup and drunk. They love that, and then they're like, no, son of a bitch. I drove them home in my Hellcat, trying to make them throw up.

Dogs Cats And RV Park America

SPEAKER_02 34:24

Uh um, how many people did you drive home? Just uh Oh, just yeah, whoever. Two. That's funny.

SPEAKER_01 34:30

So it was funny. Do you have a dog nail? Um two. I mean, it's not my dog's. Well, it's your family dog. Yeah, like a family dog.

SPEAKER_02 34:40

But remember you had that one, what's his name? Bob?

SPEAKER_01 34:42

Bob. No, I haven't had my own dog in a long time since Bob. Did it hurt too bad?

SPEAKER_02 34:47

Uh it's also, I don't really have it's a big commitment to you always had him with you. I'm like, man, it's like your child.

SPEAKER_01 34:53

To have a dog with you all the time. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 34:56

I think you had him before, or you had him when your kids were super young.

SPEAKER_01 34:59

Um before. Yeah. And then and then when the kids came along, their their mom was like, I ain't got time to fuck with this dog. So then it became my dog. And her kid's my dog. You know how that goes.

SPEAKER_02 35:10

My mom walks uh my mom walks in the mornings and she says uh she'll go by the honey bowl, and uh that they have like a night, like it's like the the stadium seats are filled with cats. Like there's so many fucking cats.

SPEAKER_01 35:25

I was I was over in uh over like Park and Pecan, Mulberry Street, Minor Street, that area. There is a stray cat every 90 feet in that neighborhood.

SPEAKER_02 35:38

I saw like three mowed down over on 90.

SPEAKER_01 35:41

We need to go to Florida and get some of those pythons and turn them loose. Imagine. Wouldn't that be great?

SPEAKER_02 35:49

There was a homeless guy over there by that uh behind Ace the other day. I'm like, you're just hanging out in the gutter, buddy? What are you doing? Are you just you're I guess mentally ill, but I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 36:01

It sounds kind of we do that one uh bridge, overpass, whatever you want to call it, highway 90, where it crosses Memorial Park downtown where the Leona is. Oh yeah. That's a that's that's a nice place to hang out. You can't live, they're not gonna allow you to like set up camp there and live in like Austin style. But if you're just passing through and you're gonna do like you could probably squeeze three nights out of that place before you get easily three, one for sure.

SPEAKER_02 36:32

When I used to work for Dollar General, I'd park my truck at the store here by the park, and this guy had his RV parked, and I thought it was no one was in there. Well, one night I came, I had to leave super early, so I spent the night there. And at two in the morning, I went up to do my pre-trip, and he was just getting home from fucking being a piece of shit in the park, and like opened the door, walked in, turned the light on. That RV was there forever for at least two years. Two years was he just plugged into Dollar General? No, there's no AC, no nothing. He was just in there sweating for two years. But he did have the water hooked up, like a fucking Cretan stealing their water. And I don't think he I don't think I kicked him out. I think he just decided to go.

SPEAKER_01 37:16

I drove and we've all done it, but especially in New Mexico up on I-25, like where there's the towns, you know, are 80 miles apart or whatever. Like Raton or what? Like Truth or Consequences area in that area. And some of those little needle-dick, like nowhere gas station towns, there are some humongous RV parks. Oh, yeah, dude. And you just look over there and you're like, oh God.

SPEAKER_02 37:45

Was that a scary place? Why?

SPEAKER_01 37:49

When you see an RV park, and like when I'm saying 200 RVs, and you know that 180 of them haven't moved in like 15 years, that's true. That's a sketch place. It might be the greatest, nicest place ever. It's not it's not a KOA. Somebody in there is not somebody, a lot of people are sharing a meal with their cat. They're getting some wet cat food, they're opening it, and they're sharing it.

SPEAKER_02 38:17

There's yeah, a low chance that something productive is going on going on.

SPEAKER_01 38:20

And you know, we're out there fucking trying to micromanage Iran and Afghanistan and all these other countries, but we don't ever want to talk about the major the masses of people living in old ass RVs sharing a tan of cat food.

SPEAKER_02 38:37

You know where Chaparral is?

SPEAKER_01 38:38

Tell me.

SPEAKER_02 38:39

Over by El Paso, like you know, Anthony, like right there. Dude, there's like those trail parks forever. Fabin's all that area. And I the tow truck driver's like, I live in one of those. And I was like, Oh, dude. He had tattoos all over. He's like, they're doing, they're making drugs out there.

SPEAKER_01 38:54

Yeah, what's the when the other ones when you're going in there? Uh Del City, not Del City, maybe it's Del City. Anyways, there's like yes, it's all Delhi.

SPEAKER_02 39:02

Del City like by the by like um in West Texas? Yeah. By like plains?

SPEAKER_01 39:06

No, it's uh it's going into El Paso, but on the like on the salt mines, salt flats. Uh but it's all just it's just fucking it's it's that's some outlaw shit. It's just a different. Everybody wants to show you America of like some wholesome shit at Yellowstone Park. Like, you want to know what America is? That's what it is. It's not an airstream.

SPEAKER_02 39:29

It's not an airstream.

SPEAKER_01 39:30

It's not an airstream.

SPEAKER_02 39:32

No, it's not. Remember we had that or we had that uh trailer parked by the trailer park in Midland where we lived?

SPEAKER_01 39:38

Yeah, we were we were at a trailer park inside of a trailer park.

SPEAKER_02 39:41

Your dad left the dog food in the closet, and then the rats came, ate through the wall, got in the fucking dog food, and then would take food and go back in the wall.

SPEAKER_01 39:50

It was like the show Tremors. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 39:53

But the rats. The rats. And those people next, they were living right next door. They houses must have been full of fucking rats.

unknown 39:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:01

That's what it is.

SPEAKER_02 40:02

Hello, honey. What's for dinner?

SPEAKER_01 40:05

You know how I can waste the most time I've figured out. What? You know where my algorithm gets me? And I've been this way since I was like three or four years old. Snake videos.

SPEAKER_02 40:19

Snake videos.

SPEAKER_01 40:20

Dude, every time I open my phone, I get something with a snake, and I'll watch them. And not only will I watch them, I'll watch them to the guy DM me in.

SPEAKER_02 40:27

I never see any snake videos. I saw the one today where the guy hits the snake, rattlesnake with the golf club and it wraps around this lady's head. I saw that one. You did, yeah. That's pretty funny.

SPEAKER_01 40:36

And but there's a ton of I don't know where all these place that they keep saying is the serpentarium or something like that. Anyways, where I guess places that milk snakes or the snake farm or creeps, there's a bunch of creeps on the internet that have like 150 snakes, and some of them are poisonous. Oh yeah. And their shit is popping up on like some guy's like, this is my pet cobra, and he's like, gotta get a scale off of his eye, and I'm watching a seven-minute video of this fugger just manhandling a king cobra.

SPEAKER_02 41:10

I gotta watch their watch.

SPEAKER_01 41:11

And then I'll have to scroll through like eight of them where he's like, I'm feeding my Komodo dragons. Like, I hate Komodo dragons, I don't give a shit about your Komodo. And then it's like back to my cobra, and then you're in. I'm in, and then some guy's got like an anaconda, and then it pulls up some deal in Thailand where some family's like living in like a room full of cobras, and like people are just brushing them out of the way like you'd move like a cat lady moves feral cats, but they've just living with cobras.

SPEAKER_02 41:35

I've seen the in India, it was just before AI. It was the Indian guy, and he's he's has a cobra and he's playing with it, and then it bites him. And then the next one he's in the casket.

SPEAKER_01 41:44

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 41:45

And everyone's like crying, oh no.

SPEAKER_01 41:47

Have you ever seen that one video over? I think it's like Thailand and the guy smoking a he's like smoking a cigarette sitting in this pit like full of snakes, and they keep getting close to him, and he slaps him on the head, and he's just like oh, yeah, I've seen that. And people like throwing money, then he collects the money, and it's just that's crazy. Imagine being bored into that. It's crazy. That's where we're going next. So after we die. I can't there was a video, a 42-minute video that got posted the other day of a rattle of a blue indigo or a big king snake or something down here in South Texas eating like a five-foot rattlesnake that it was on an oil field road, and this is like Mexican guy's pulled over and he's filming it. And it's funny because once the blue indigo gets this five-foot rattlesnake, like four foot eaten, this Mexican guy's like, ah, watch this way, and he's grabbed it by the rattles, and he's pull it trying to pull it out of the other snake's mouth. Like fucking with them. I've never heard of blue indigo.

SPEAKER_02 42:43

You talk about blue indigos a lot. You like the I like the idea of they eat the rattlesnakes. They do, they do it. But they're not rattlesnakes, they're just like a big snake.

SPEAKER_00 42:54

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 42:56

Are they blue? They're they're blue black, but in the sun, they kind of look like a blue and a dark blue indigo.

SPEAKER_02 43:03

Okay, I've never seen one of those. I've seen a garden snake though.

SPEAKER_01 43:06

I I've told my snake story on the podcast before, right? Where the guy got bit by the snake.

SPEAKER_02 43:14

Remind us.

SPEAKER_01 43:16

So this would have been Oh, when you and Feltz? Yeah, felt me and Feltz. But I've told that, right?

SPEAKER_02 43:21

Uh maybe you told me and like Baxter or something.

Snake Wrangler Kiss Of Death

SPEAKER_01 43:24

So yeah, I think I told it recently, but I'm gonna tell it again. Go ahead. Because it's such a great, great story.

SPEAKER_02 43:32

This is the Badlands Festival.

SPEAKER_01 43:33

At the Texas Badlands Festival, before it was the Palomino Fest. And I'm out there with Feltz, and we're just running amok. We're like throwing you could still get those glass stink bombs that would break and shit, and we're throwing them at Kearney's, and we've got like a couple of Winston cigarettes that we're smoking in the parking lot. And I specifically remember both of us were wearing basketball jerseys with no undershirt. And he was wearing he was wearing. Like a Dennis Rodman jersey. And I was wearing a supersonic Sean Kemp jersey.

SPEAKER_02 44:05

Oh man, that's a one.

SPEAKER_01 44:06

We were just we were we were on our way to joining the insane clown posse.

SPEAKER_02 44:10

That's like 93.

SPEAKER_01 44:11

Yeah. Why trashing it out at the Badlands Festival. And they had the Texas snake wranglers or Texas rattlesnake wranglers. And basically it was one guy that was a rattlesnake wrangler. And like eight of his friends that like to drink beer and watch this guy fuck with snakes. And like they were his they were his buddies, and they like this was their way out for the weekend.

SPEAKER_02 44:34

Check this guy out.

SPEAKER_01 44:35

Yeah. Like they're like, hey, they got to tell their wives, like, hey, we're going down to Uvalde with Frank this weekend. He's got a snake show. We're going to be down there doing snake shit. And so, and I mean this guy, the snake man, he would like, he would have one culled up under it on his head, like under his cowboy hat. Yeah. He'd be talking like they'd have a like a little pin out of chicken wire and it was full of snakes, and he'd be talking to you, he goes, Whoo, it's hot in here, and he'd take his hat off like a big old Dan Blocker down. There'd be like a rattlesnake curled up on his head. What a dumbass. And then he had he had a sleeping bag and he would get in it with like a hundred snakes and like lay in the sleeping bag and it'd be full of snakes, and then he'd get in and out of it. Crazy shit. And so it was hot in there, and it's like there's not, it was just hot. Filthy. And uh, and so they had a deal on the last day he was gonna do a cobra show. He had a cobra, and he had this big wooden box, looked like a casket, and it had air holes drilled in it, and like he could carry it, and it was the cobra. Like, Felton and I are like, we gotta see this. This guy's for real. This guy's for real. He's like, this is the real life redneck Jake the Snake. And so the Cobra show was supposed to be like at 5 p.m. on the last day. And at 4:30, the guy's doing like a rattlesnake show, and he's and he's like, he's got one and he's picked up and he's gonna he's getting to the cobra show. He's like doing his whole show. And he goes, I'm gonna do the kiss of death. And he's got like this four or five foot rattlesnake, and he's holding it up, and the snake's like looking right at him.

SPEAKER_02 46:18

Rattlesnake or cobra?

SPEAKER_01 46:20

The rattlesnake. Oh, okay. And so he's got this rattlesnake, and it's like looking at him, and he's tracking him, or whatever, and there and the guy's gonna kiss this snake, and there's like people everywhere. Felton are standing right there, and he goes in to kiss this snake, and this fucking snake bites him like right right between the eyes on the nose. Just so fast, like boom, hits him. And we're standing right there, and the guy's wearing like one of those microphone deals.

SPEAKER_02 46:46

Oh my god. Like hooked up to a little box in his hip.

SPEAKER_01 46:49

Yeah, yeah, and uh he drops that snake and he says, Oh my god, I'm gonna die. And then he gets real dizzy, and he like faints, but like a slow faint, like he he hits in shock. Yeah, he hits in shock and he goes down, and all of a sudden, all these other guys realize we're in a fucking pit full of snakes, and Frank just got bit. And the paramedics like rush up, like people are gasping, they're going ape shit. The paramedics come up, but they ain't going in there because it's there's snakes everywhere. It looks like Indiana Jones's train car. It's gone, dude. And finally they drag this son bitch out on a stretcher, and it's like you could hear a mouse piss on a cotton swab. It is somber silence in there. And they take off in the aim, it's woo, woo, woo. They're gone. These these guys are like people are everyone's just like, this guy's gonna die. I don't think he did die.

SPEAKER_02 47:52

No, no, no. And uh although it's so close to your brain, I don't see how you can go to your heart.

SPEAKER_01 47:57

And so these his buddies are just stuck there with all these snakes, and they gotta clean this shit up, and like they're they're they're worried about the guy. They can't just go to the hospital with him because there's like snakes everywhere.

SPEAKER_02 48:09

It was like in a corral, it was like in a pen.

SPEAKER_01 48:11

Yeah, in a little pen. That sounds like a stupid, crazy, obnoxious, fucking dangerous situation. And so it's like kind of starting to clear out, you know. It's like five, five fifteen or whatever. And Phelps and I are still standing there. And I remember going, hey, what about the cobra show? And this one guy, like, you he wanted to fight me. He wanted to fight fifth grade moves. Fuck you. Yeah, he was pissed. It's like it ain't gonna happen. And like Phelps and I was like, Well, that's bullshit. We've been here all day for this cobra show. Get the cobra out. Get the cobra out. And these poor fuckers. I we had to leave, you know, like dark because we're in fifth grade and we were out of cigarettes. But I don't know how they wrangled all those snakes up and got out of there or whatever.

SPEAKER_02 48:58

There might still be snakes out there, gloves and the fucking golf clubs.

SPEAKER_01 49:02

I know I've told that story before, but it's funny.

SPEAKER_02 49:04

It it's a great story, it's a great story, and it's almost where you can't believe it because it's so awesome.

SPEAKER_01 49:09

It's so awesome. The other day it came up, I was somewhere, and that story came up, and they were like, so and so and so-and-so were there.

SPEAKER_02 49:18

That was me and Phil.

SPEAKER_01 49:20

And I go, No, but they were talking, they named two other guys from DM. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 49:24

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 49:26

And I was like, and they were like, and he told this story just like that. And I go, I was there. I was, I was, you couldn't have been the only guy closer to the what happened was the guy that got fucking bit. That's how close I was.

SPEAKER_02 49:38

That's funny. Good story. A good story. Yeah, dude, I hate snakes. You like them? I think they're gross. What about that snake farm in New Bromfels? Everyone said that was a whorehouse.

SPEAKER_01 49:50

I've been there a hundred times.

SPEAKER_02 49:51

Is it a whorehouse?

SPEAKER_01 49:52

It's not.

SPEAKER_02 49:53

People say that though. Um I knew somebody from New Bromfels was like, I heard that's a whorehouse. I'm like, that's what we used to say.

Brothel Reviews Horses And Moose Lore

SPEAKER_01 50:00

I will tell you a hilarious thing I did the other day. The legal brothels, which I don't know how many of them there are in the country. I don't know if there's 10 of them or three of them or whatever.

SPEAKER_02 50:11

There's a good 20.

SPEAKER_01 50:12

But the one of the big ones is that Mustang Ranch or whatever.

SPEAKER_02 50:16

Uh yeah, in Nevada.

SPEAKER_01 50:18

Mm-hmm. And I went to their website because I heard somebody like talking about it. And I read the reviews. Yeah. Hilarious. Oh, really? Like what? Because it's like everything from like just like dirty truckers that are writing three sentences about their conquests to like people who have fallen in love and they're like and they're like writing like like basically accolades of like a love tribute on pages of these prostitutes. That's gross. Yeah. And uh, I was joking about it to Alex, and and we were both like, well, I was like amused, and then she was not amused because I was looking at a brothel and reading the reviews to humor myself. Yeah. But then she was like, I read one of them, she was like, that might be nicer than anything that you've said to me in a year.

SPEAKER_02 51:14

Probably. That's funny. Wait, when was this?

SPEAKER_01 51:19

She was just joking because I say nice things. Love you, babe.

SPEAKER_02 51:21

This was the other day.

SPEAKER_01 51:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 51:24

Yeah, I've said when I worked out in Reno, there's a bunch of horses out there. I think I dropped a guy off at one one time. There's some wild horses. Like they call them the Mustang because there's wild horses out there. And I'm driving them out there. And he goes, horse. And I go, Yeah, horse. And he goes, No horse. And they're looking at fucking almost hit this horse. That's a good story. That's a true story. Those fucking horses, they're wild, dude.

SPEAKER_01 51:56

They just run across them like, holy shit, dude. If you hit a horse, that's a fucking problem.

SPEAKER_02 52:03

It's like hitting a pinto. It is. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 52:06

Like you don't want to hit a cow, you don't want to hit a buffalo, you don't want to hit a horse, you don't want to hit a moose, you don't want to hit an elk. Pretty much anything else, you'd be all right.

SPEAKER_02 52:15

They used to tell us in trucking school, they'd be like, if you see a moose, stop or stop. Because you that'll that thing will fuck your truck up. It'll fuck everything, it'll kill you.

SPEAKER_01 52:25

My dad told this story of he was with all these bikers on some biker gang deal. And they were up in uh they were riding from like Wyoming to Salt Lake, and they were coming back through Wyoming, and one of the guys left, he got mad in the middle of the night, and I think he smoked a bunch of PCP and left. And this fucker hit a moose, and they found him the next day, and the moose was still standing up, the bike was still standing up, and the guy in the inside of the moose was all jelly. It was just in the middle of the road, the bike still standing, the moose still standing. He's in the moose. He's in the moose, just congealed. And the moose is like not bothered, he was like chewing.

Old G Motors Meaning And Dreaming

SPEAKER_02 53:08

Hey, Bullwinkle. Those moose, I've heard those moose are huge. Huge, like bigger than like your sign out there. Shout out old G Motors.

SPEAKER_01 53:16

Old G Motors, the best deals around coming things.

SPEAKER_02 53:19

Explain Old G motors, like I'm a baby. Why is it old G? And I'm not saying it's a bad name, I'm just saying explain it.

SPEAKER_01 53:28

I was trying to come up with names, and then that one made me chuckle.

SPEAKER_02 53:33

You know, people are gonna be like, is old G there?

SPEAKER_01 53:37

He's in the back. But like old G is like a couple things, like because I like kind of grandpa and grandma cars.

SPEAKER_02 53:44

Okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 53:46

And uh some of them are like really slick, like kind of like an old G, like old gangster, but like not like a California gangster, but like just like a black gangster? Nah, just like kind of like old G like uh like when I say like something like kind of gangster, like I just mean like it's like OG, you mean? Yeah. Okay. But that's original gangster. Like yeah, like it's uh it's origin like and to me that could be like a bootlegger, it could be um cockfighter, it could be um um someone who's been around.

SPEAKER_02 54:18

Yeah, someone who's been around.

SPEAKER_01 54:20

And so these cars are like they're that like that's that's what uh when I'm buying something, I'm trying to still buy something that's quality, low miles, reliable, still looks good, and you're like, damn, in the era, like I can see like a boss would have driven that car.

SPEAKER_02 54:34

I see.

SPEAKER_01 54:35

That's my that's my it's a good name.

SPEAKER_02 54:37

I just wasn't sure just because yeah, I know you and I'm like, I don't get it. Now I get it.

SPEAKER_01 54:42

Yeah. So now you know the rest of the story. I saw a guy painting a fence.

SPEAKER_02 54:50

Oh, well, he had he's painted, he put the his hand in the paint and then did it. Yeah, you put that too.

SPEAKER_01 54:54

Yeah, you saw that? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 54:55

I thought today.

SPEAKER_01 54:56

Yeah, he put his hand, he had the glove on.

SPEAKER_02 54:59

I thought they painted gloves. I thought Baxter was talking about you with the brush with the glove on your hand. But no, you meant like you grabbed the paint, put it on the fence.

SPEAKER_01 55:06

Yeah, but he had like a mitt on his hand.

SPEAKER_02 55:08

Yeah, like a little yeah, car wash mitt.

SPEAKER_01 55:10

And when I saw him doing that, I that's why I knew why Baxter loves building fence so much. She likes jacking off and like rubbing those poles. Yeah, I get it. He's polishing those poles, making them big and black.

SPEAKER_02 55:22

Shadow Baxter. Big and black. Why don't people need to start like commenting on our Instagram and like sending us uh uh inspirational uh fan mail? Don't you think? I do. We'll get there. I'm just a little I want it to happen already.

SPEAKER_01 55:40

I want the engagement. Yeah, I'm seeing my dreams unfold. I'm seeing old G come to life. We're sitting here in the old G studios, old G. Uh, yeah, keep going. And I need people to engage our Instagram so that the rest of my dreams can come true. Exactly. I'm proud to be an old G driver. Or at least I know I'm for you.

SPEAKER_02 56:05

You know, if it was in the 90s, you'd have your own uh we'd do a commercial.

SPEAKER_01 56:08

I'd have a jingle.

Bill Miller Panda And Cheap Eats

SPEAKER_02 56:09

It it would be on uh channel one in the school, right after Chris Griffith his commercial. Uh he's in the commercial, everybody ever look at him like, buddy, you're on TV, you fucking fake. It's all badass. My dad made me do it. Uh Bill Miller's. Shout out Bill Miller's. One day we'll get uh we'll get sponsored by them.

SPEAKER_01 56:38

Man, I went to Bill Miller's last week and I texted you. You did. I texted you a picture of this. It was huge. It was the rancher's plate, and it's not even the biggest plate. It's not even close to the biggest plate they offer there. It's the rancher's place. Two meat, three sides.

SPEAKER_02 56:52

I thought that was a big one.

SPEAKER_01 56:53

They have a three meat plate. That's my point. I got the two meat plate, the what they call the rancher's plate. You get to pick two meats. I pick brisket and sausage. Then you get to pick three sides. That's insane. I'm like, three sides? Three sides. Yeah. I got beans, green beans, and the hash browns.

SPEAKER_02 57:14

I got triple fries.

SPEAKER_01 57:15

That's fat. Then you place your order and you get it, and they give you all the sauce that you want, obviously. Then you go up to the bar and you got all the pickles, onions, free jalapenos. The bread, dude?

SPEAKER_02 57:30

Two types of bread free and butter that'll make your hope firmly have a heart attack.

SPEAKER_01 57:37

Tea with the drink, and the total for this feast. Is it$35?$17.86.

SPEAKER_02 57:45

That's literally half. Half what I said. That's a deal, dude.$17.86. And when I went to one, the brisket, I was like, they upped their brisket. It's better this time.

SPEAKER_01 57:56

Have I had better brisket? Yeah. Did Beto make me a better brisket yesterday? Yes. But you know what? Was he feeding all of San Antonio though? No. And I could just walk in there at my whim, at my whim, and get some pretty decent brisket and some pretty decent sausage. Sit on the couch and wash it down with the best iced tea. I love their tea. The best tea. Bill Miller, come to Uvaldi. We we heard you bought property here years ago and you just tease us.

SPEAKER_02 58:27

Is it that one over by um that old Pico was? Yeah, Fifth Street.

SPEAKER_01 58:30

That's what they say.

SPEAKER_02 58:32

I wish they would do that there. I'd be there every weekend.

SPEAKER_01 58:35

There's so many Uvaldi rumor lies.

SPEAKER_02 58:38

Like Bill Miller, can I do that?

SPEAKER_01 58:39

Like you used to hear these like rumors when you were growing up, like, oh, don't mess with that kid. His parents are uh they move kilos or whatever. True. True. Yeah, true. His brother's uh Johnny the Creeper, he killed three people. True. We're getting a Panda Express and a Bill Miller's and a Chick-fil-A. Lies lies. What the fuck's up with that, dude?

SPEAKER_02 59:01

I went to Panda Express uh in uh El Paso. It was eleven dollars, and I was stuffed to the brim, dude. That's insane. I was like, these you cannot give me I can eat another spoonful of rice. That's insane. It was good too. That orange chicken, it's a hitter, dude. What is Lucky Noodle? Oh, Lucky Noodle, it's a Chinese place over on Blanco and West Avenue. You never been there? It's fucking good. They have all sorts of Chinese food, it's very good.

SPEAKER_01 59:29

They used to have a place on West Avenue that was a buffet Mexican food and Chinese food, and they called it guacamole. W-O-K-A-M-O-L-E. That's cute. Yeah. Guacamole. You could die uh from Maria there.

SPEAKER_02 59:47

They always ask me, I was getting to get the same thing. I get I get the Chinese noodle, mutton. Mutton. Mutton with uh an egg.

SPEAKER_01 59:56

Is that how you say dog in Chinese? It's good. It's good. Muton. Muton.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:07

Um it was mutton, noodles with a fermented egg. It's it's an it's just a it's like a boiled egg. Um, extra spicy. And I always get the extra mutton and um something else.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:22

Are they open for dinner?

SPEAKER_02 1:00:23

Yeah. They're like an all-day restaurant? All day. They're so good. And they have all the Chinese dishes, everything, but it's all like like legit Chinese. The women in there, the waitresses are Chinese.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:33

Really?

SPEAKER_02 1:00:33

Yeah. They're so Chinese they hate America. That's how Chinese they are.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:37

I like that. Maybe I could just take some unscratched lottery tickets and barter for my meal.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:42

And dude, it's cheap. It's ten dollars a bowl.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:45

Well, I'm gonna take one dollar tickets over there.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:49

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:50

Gotcha.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:51

Yeah, dude. Lucky noodle is so good and cheap. I love it.

Tailbones Belts And Getting Older

SPEAKER_01 1:00:55

Uh how long we've been uh I'm I'm not ready to stop by any means, but I'm just curious because I'm I'm still pretty comfortable in this chair, but I don't know if I'm real comfortable, and I'm wondering how long we've been sitting here.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:05

An hour.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:06

How how comfortable are you in your chair?

SPEAKER_02 1:01:08

I'm good. I like this chair.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:10

You like these chairs?

SPEAKER_02 1:01:11

You don't like it? I'm pretty comfortable. What are you what is you what are you getting at? I don't know. My tailbone's not as comfortable as it could be. Maybe you need something like my dad has that little cushion.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:21

With a tailbone cut out. Yeah.

unknown 1:01:23

God.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:25

Masputo. Is your um did your grandpa have one of those cushions?

SPEAKER_01 1:01:30

Uh at the end of his life, I know he had some some cushions, but I can't remember. Like mostly the lower back cushions.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:36

You get older, you're just hit your lower back's done.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:38

Done.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:39

Why?

SPEAKER_01 1:01:39

Why don't I get one of those HEV belts or like what you wear to unload your truck?

SPEAKER_02 1:01:43

I don't wear anything.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:44

Nothing. Not even underwear. You're doomed.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:47

Am I? Well, I bend over it in 90 degree. Yeah, I am doomed.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:53

You just I live my back is strong because I live with my back. They say don't. They say don't.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:00

They say don't wear a belt because your back won't get stronger if you do it.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:05

I heard that from some guy at HEB. There you go. Oh, there's a I saw a one of the guys that sued HUB and got a Corvette when we were in high school. I uh is that what happened? I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:14

I think somebody assumed uh and he he bought that uh uh what is it, funeral home? I forgot what his name was.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:22

Um I saw a rooster at HEB today. I saw a rooster at minutes yesterday. I kind of like that. I do too.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:29

It's it's very nice.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:30

When you see a rooster on your way to the boxing match, you know shit's about to go to you. It's an omen.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:36

It is an omen, it's like a black cat, but the opposite bless you. Excuse me. People sneeze and they don't say bless you. I hate that.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:45

I do too.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:45

So I I had a I was dating woman. I was rude. A long time ago, I dated a woman. She people would they would sneeze around her and she wouldn't say it. And I go, What kind of fucking southerner are you? You don't say, Oh, I'm sorry. Like, yeah, you need to start saying it. Yeah. She never dub.

A Ten Minute Car Deal Timer

SPEAKER_01 1:03:01

See ya. I know. Massade. Saw a Wall Street Journal article the other day of a 33-year-old gentleman who you hire for a thousand dollar fat flat fee, and then he does the acquisition of your vehicle. That's brilliant. He's going to save you more than a thousand dollars.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:23

Oh, for sure. He's saying you like seven.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:25

He's probably gonna save you seven on like deal structure, the value. He's probably gonna get at least. Let's just say you're buying um, I assume if you're gonna pay, it's probably worth it if you're buying a$40,000 car.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:38

Yeah, it would have been nice for my truck.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:40

He's gonna get he's gonna get more than what you're paying him off the sticker, and then his deal structure and interest. I thought it was a really cool service. It's a good idea. It's a good idea.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:51

Wait, where did you see that Wall Street Journal?

SPEAKER_01 1:03:53

Wall Street Journal. Like you, it's it's it's legit when you see it in the journal. What about buying these damn cars, dude?

SPEAKER_02 1:03:59

You go in the you're in there all day. Not me, my friend. Really? Oh, you go in, you're like, I'm this is the one I want. Well, you're like, just make it happen.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:07

The the one I bought this last one.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:09

Me, I'm like, dude, this payment's a little high. And they're like, Well, you're fucking poor.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:15

Uh the the last one I went in, I just got frustrated because they started like the game with me. And I said, guys, that game. I said, I I hear you. I said, I have no intention of being in here all day. And I'm gonna pull my phone out and I'm gonna set a timer for 10 minutes. In 10 minutes really, in 10 minutes, you're either gonna do the deal exactly how I told you I want to do it, or you're gonna give me my keys back to my trade-in and I'm gonna leave. And they go, What? And I said, in in 10 minutes, I'm I'm leaving. And it and he goes, Are you serious? And I said, I'm so serious. If it's$20 different than what I'm telling you,$20, I'm willing to leave over it. And I started the deal, and these two guys stared at me. Pun your phone, you're like, Yeah, these two guys stared at me for like five 40 seconds, maybe in disbelief. I can't believe it. And four minutes later, they're like, Okay, you've got a deal. Okay. I said, Thank you. I really appreciate it. I said, I'm not, I just don't want you wasting my time, and I don't want to waste your time. And that's not you being a dick, that's just you being a dick. It really is. It's like I'm I'm willing to leave here without a vehicle, no problem. And they don't want you to leave. And they don't want you to leave. No, they do want to play games though, but they they like fuck me around that that I had to make an appointment to buy it to like come in and talk to them. And I was like, you don't under you don't understand. I'm gonna be there when I get there, and I'm gonna tell you I know what the one I'm driving's worth, and and and you've already I've already agreed to pay this for this one. Yeah. And of course, when I got there, they wouldn't give me a value. So we can't give you a trade in when on your car until it gets here and we inspect it. And then they started talking about all this bullshit. And I go, listen, you're Telling me all the problems, like you're gonna drive this car. So you own a car dealership. You can fix all the fucking shit that you're finding wrong with it. Oh, yeah. And it ain't gonna cost you a thing because you got 98 people out there turning wrenches. So either do the deal or anyways. I think I was working. You don't have that problem when you deal local, but I oh your original car. I got a special car. I had to go all the way to Austin.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:20

So I I went, I was working at DCAM, and I think I pissed somebody off there. I think they like they poured like skunk piss in my truck. It smelled like shit. I pissed somebody off doing something. Well, I'm like, I need to trade this motherfucker in. So I took it to San Antonio and uh they didn't do the inspection. They're like, we'll take your trade in. Um, and we did the whole deal, they gave me the keys and like, where is it? I'm like, oh, it's over there. And we made my dad look because he he smells it smell like shit. He looked at the guy opened the door and he's like, Woo. We just like we went to the outback.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:51

We're like, fuck that stinks. I've had those deals too where they don't even look at the trade in. Because it was a 6-2 liter, it was like a big block Ford. Yeah. And he was like, Yeah, I'll take it. I've I've done them, but when in my opinion, like when you're just showing up to buy an F-150, like a regular, pretty normal, yeah, uh FX4, XLT, uh even an STX, maybe even Alaria. There, there's 151 of them on the goddamn dealership deal. Yeah. So when you're doing that kind of volume, I don't think they're looking at it. I went to buy the one car that there was only seven of them in the we don't make a turbocharged jeep, sir.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:36

Uh anyways, they see it as opportunity to chingle at you.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:41

But you got them. I mean, I just got a fair deal, and they got a fair deal. I would, I would look at that next time I buy a car, but I'm never buying a new car ever again. I don't blame you. Never. I don't blame you. I'm getting I'm going to O'Reilly's ordering a new motor and sticking in my fucking F-150.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:56

I like that.

Music Is Over And Rap Energy

SPEAKER_02 1:07:57

I hate music. I don't even listen to music. What is this new music? That your your um your your fiance's daughter said she saw Parker McCullum. People don't listen to that? Andy listens to that? Why? It makes no sense to me. Uh I don't there's a couple of catchy ones. I don't even like George Straight anymore. I don't like music.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:19

I'm kind of sick of music too. I think the Amish really got it figured out. They really do. They don't dance, they don't listen to music, they don't drink.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:30

Imagine if America banned music. I think everyone would just chill out. Like people who listen to rap and they go do drive-bys, they would that shit would not happen. We need an American Taliban. Also, um, I think rap music is bad because women listen to it while they're in the gym and they think they're they think they're awesome.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:49

They're like those guys that are like shadow boxing at the last fight. Like by the time they leave, they're you guys dude.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:55

They're like, we're uh I'm a badass. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:57

It was like a four foot nine girl.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:00

I left at 30 pounds.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:01

Four foot nine around or tall?

SPEAKER_02 1:09:03

Either one. They think they're cool.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:06

The girl badass. I'm kidding.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:07

If you're a woman listening to this, um whatever. Yeah, that's fine. Yeah, like our page.

Dogs Do Not Know Ceiling Fans

SPEAKER_01 1:09:12

What about the if you go like our page? Ox will notice and then he'll creep you on social media so you can feel cool. So hard. So hard. So hard. Uh tell me about dogs.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:23

Dogs don't know what ceiling fans are. Yeah, I think I was, I was like, I was having a dream and I woke up and wrote that down. Do you think dogs know what ceiling fans are?

SPEAKER_01 1:09:30

They don't know.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:31

They don't know shit, do they? No. They don't even know what this is.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:34

No.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:34

I hate that for them.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:36

But if you get really close to a dog and then you raise your arm real fast, they know what that is. Oh fuck yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:43

There was a dog. When I loved this other person, um, there was a dog that used to come it would like break in the yard, and I guess the guy abused this dog because every time it opened a beer it went away. Like, what the guy, what the fuck was the guy doing to this dog?

Bachabazi And War’s Blind Spots

SPEAKER_01 1:09:58

What uh I love dogs. Do you know what the bachabazi is? Bachabazi?

SPEAKER_02 1:10:03

Where's that?

SPEAKER_01 1:10:04

It's like the little uh adolescent boy lovers for grown men in the Taliban.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:12

Oh, yeah. I heard about that.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:14

And I've I read two conflicting stories. One that it's becoming like or basically one one article said there isn't a Taliban leader that hasn't been photographed with his bot. Bachabazi? Bachabazi, which is his little feminine man then for pleasure. It's a creepy, it's a really creepy thing.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:40

Like a Japanese fucking what are those things called?

SPEAKER_01 1:10:42

Like a geiza, but like but what but like worse. And I think it's adolescent. And then I read another article that was like, that's all made up and nobody somewhere in there. You think it's in the middle somewhere? We want to hear from the bachabazis. Shut up, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:00

I think in Afghanistan there were the uh the only people who'd fight the Taliban was this group of Afghanis, and they all had Bachabazis. So they couldn't, they the military was like, don't fuck with the Bachabazis. Let them do their thing with the Bachabazis because they're fighting the Taliban. And these these soldiers are like, We're getting fucking PTSD from this shit. We gotta we can't help these kids.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:21

I heard that too. That that might be where the rest of the story is, Paul Harvey was.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:27

We want to save these kids, but the military's still telling us not to save them because they're the only ones that'll fight these other guys.

County Seat Identity And Small Towns

SPEAKER_01 1:11:33

That's fucked up, dude. The world is a fucked up place. It is. I realize that my people are county seat people. What do you mean? Everywhere we live, county seat. Uvaldi, county seat, San Antonio, Bear County, county seat, Seminole, county seat of Gaines County, the Lesbian County. Muleshoe, county seat of Gaines of uh Bailey County. New Bromfels, county seat of Comal County. It just goes on, bud. Brackettville, Kennedy County, boom. You'd like you like people in the county seat where they live. I guess we're just but why are what we're just county seat people. We are? Or you are. My my heritage. When someone says what are you? I'm gonna say I'm a county seater. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:14

That's a very obscure thing to think about. Yeah. But we gotta think about something.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:18

Gotta think about something.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:19

I know I get my tire fixed one time in uh Louisiana in a small tiny town. And this guy came out from like Bat Baton Reservoir to fix it. And uh he's like, Man, uh, you're a way out here. And I was like, Yeah, sure is a small town. There's not a lot going on, is there? He goes, I grew up in a small town. Don't talk shit about a small town. And I was like, dude, calm the fuck down. Fix my tire. What is your problem? I mean, I grew up in a small town too, you fucking asshole.

The Fighting Dog Show Off Truck

SPEAKER_01 1:12:44

This most small town shit yesterday evening. There was a guy in a uh F1 old F-150 who had a metal crate that looked like the hounds of hell could be in this over-the-top metal crate.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:02

I've seen those.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:02

But it was only like half the size of the pickup bed. So there was no need to have the tailgate down. You would only have the tailgate down if you were showing off. And this fucker had the biggest fighting dog in this really I'd have ever seen. Just one dog. One dog, and this dog was the size of a moose. In the back of F-150. In the back of an F-150, in this half of a six-foot bed, half of a six-foot bed in a metal dungeon cage. And the dog was just laying down demoralized, and this guy was driving the speed limit was 30, and he was driving 15 with the tailgate down. And as soon as I passed him, he like turned to look to make sure I like recognized that he had a fucking badass dog.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:44

Oh, yeah. I thought you want a badass dog. I wanted that dog.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:48

Okay. But I didn't want to drive through town like some asshole showing off my giant wolf. You saw that here in town? Yeah, I saw it yesterday.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:54

I wonder who that was. Some guy yelled at me at a gas station a couple months ago. I want to find out who he was. It was a white dude. He got mad at me because he said I almost hit him with my my car. I didn't. And he wanted to bow up to me at fucking minutes in front of his wife and his kid. Like, dude. Like, I I I'm gonna find out who you are and call your fucking boss because this is bullshit. I just want to get gas. I didn't hit you, I must hit you in my car. He was a white guy. I don't know, bud. What do you mean you still got a couple to go? Are you tired? Are you serious? Let her rip, bud. I pull through. Yeah, I pull through. Oh yeah, your dad. I'm about to get on you. Your dad said, okay, what did your dad say about different types of fuel in a tanker?

SPEAKER_01 1:14:42

Oh, so my uh, you know, some cars are like you gotta use high-end 93 octane or a super unleaded. And my dad was in the gas station business for a while and he was like, it all comes in the same fucking truck.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:59

It's separated in the tank.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:02

I know that. Do you? But he would berate me and tell me how stupid I was. He was like, the same shit in the same truck. It's the same. He's like, it's all a lie. It's a scam.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:16

He was like the original like conspiracy theorist for this shit. Yeah. But we concede the fact that it's separated in the tank.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:26

Um that it's baffled, yes. Thank you.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:28

Yeah, that was bothering me for a while. I was like, hey, does he not know this? Uh he has to know, and you do know. I do know. Oh, the phylong guy cut his nails finally. I went in there and got food there yesterday. You went in there? Yeah, I was good. They were open? Yeah, they're open. Uh I walked in and I'm like, let me check this guy. Because he's uh he's notorious for having long fingernails. He caught him. Proud of proud of you.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:49

Do you think uh Proud of you, Bong La? Uh do you think that guy has a cobra?

SPEAKER_02 1:15:57

No, but the behind the Komodo Dragon go behind that fucking store. It looks like Vietnam behind there. He's got like a whole jungle back there. Oh, he's got like elephant ear plants and everything. There might be a king cobra. Dude, it's it looks crazy back there. What about his meat market sweatshirt? What about that?

SPEAKER_01 1:16:14

Oh, I went through the I went through the beverage barn on the west side of town last night. It's kind of cool yesterday, and so I was wearing my hoodie from Uvaldi Meat. Shout out Uvaldi Meat. Oh, yeah. And I got a great hoodie from there. It's got their logo on it, and it says Uvaldi Meat. And so I pulled through the beverage barn and uh I'm buying some stuff, and the lady just starts laughing. Yeah, she's like, it's so funny. She was like, my boyfriend and my son both work at Uvaldi Meat, and they're always wearing that goddamn sweatshirt. And I'm like, everybody just knows that you work at Uvaldi Meat. She goes, but you don't fucking work at Uvaldi Meat, so I guess it's a thing. Oh my god, these people. And Phelps, and Phelps was like, I wasn't with you. Phelps was with me. He goes, God damn, he goes, You're really living the life down here. You say you you talk to everybody, don't you? Like you're both.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:16

I'll tell you one thing about people in New Valley, they got some character to them.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:19

They do.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:19

They might not be well traveled, but they they knew how to laugh.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:24

She really got a kick out of me wearing that shirt. She was like, I didn't know that someone that didn't have blood and smell like guts is wore that goddamn shirt.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:32

It's like it's a novelty for her.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:35

Um, I went to Cray. I went to Walmart earlier today to buy something, I forgot it was. And I saw the new Kray restaurant. Did they hire the guy who designed the fucking Sailborne barbecue dips to fucking decorate? It looks terrible. I haven't been in there. I'm like, where the f it's like 80s decor. It's terrible.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:54

I wonder what their hours are.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:56

And the people working in it did not look happy.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:59

I've read some deal online that's like there's an older couple and they sunk their life savings into this restaurant, and it was like a really heartwarming story, and then like a painting. You know, they didn't care.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:10

They like use paint from like ace hardware to paint their shit. I like it. Hopefully it has lead in it. I don't know, dude. It just it was not I'm sure the food's good. It's just the decor was uh there's something to be they left some stuff on the table. What are you trying? What are you typing over here?

SPEAKER_01 1:18:32

I'm just uh knocking stuff off.

Plane Crash YouTube And Private Flying

SPEAKER_02 1:18:34

I think we're almost done. You can knock the whole thing off. Yeah, we're almost done. Oh, if you're if you if you're bored and you have YouTube, go to Pilot Debrief. Um it's about these all he does is this guy talks about plane crashes. All these private people. There's a lot of people dying from these plane crashes, like hundreds and hundreds of white people dying. It's insane. I believe that many white people die. There's more news. Dude, these people are these these planes. I'm like questioning whether people should be flying privately. There's so many. But um, have you ever been in a small plane? I have. But like a Cessna? Um, yeah. Me too. It was scary.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:17

I uh real scary. Uh yeah, I can imagine. But we made uh you made it. Um I thought about jumping out. Go ahead. Have you ever you I think we've talked about it before that show Love on the Spectrum? Uh yeah. And like the autistic people or whatever, and they're trying to find love. Yeah, down Down syndrome to autistic to severely autistic.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:39

That sounds like abuse.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:41

So now that I'm sober, I'm pretty sure I'm autistic. And I want to be on that show, but not looking for love. But looking for like a friend. Uh-huh. And I basically just want I need more friends like you. Yeah. Who just don't want to be like bothered.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:58

No, I don't want to be bothered. I like want to be I want to be driven to the edge of my loneliness. And then and then right right before I call you. Yeah. And then I go back down and then I go, run.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:10

Like when you leave here today, you're like, fuck, I don't want to see anybody for three days.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:14

Three days, at least. At least. But I'll see people at restaurants. I chop it up with uh with the regular folk too.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:20

Send us a message on the Instagram or whatever.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:23

I hear that a lot, and it was like, you were nicer to that stranger at the AutoZone than you've been to me in like three years.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:29

They told you that too?

SPEAKER_01 1:20:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:31

I hear that all the time.

Sid’s Furniture Story About Common Sense

SPEAKER_01 1:20:32

I was at a used me out office furniture store today. And I spent an hour and a half in there with my new friend Sid. He worked 36 years for Lax Furniture. And I said, What happened to Lax Furniture? He said, Would you like to know? And I sat down, I said, Yeah, I would like to know, Sid. Tell me a story, Sid. And he told me all about it and how that old man, Mr. Lax, Mr. Lack, he had these furniture stores everywhere. The first one was in the house. He had one here, as a matter of fact. My grandmother worked for there for 40 years. Started in a thinking Beeville and then Victoria and then Robstown. Then your grandma worked at the one here for 40 years. So they had it all, and then Mr. Lax turned turned it over to his son Melvin. Ruined it. That's what happened. Sid told me all about it. One generation. Melvin went to Harvard. He said, you know, Melvin, he really was. He was a real smart boy. He said, every we all knew he was smart. He getting gender stuff. He said he went to Harvard. He graduated in the top 10 of his class at Harvard. He said, but the damn boy had no common sense. That'll kill you. That's what Sid told me. Sid told me all about it. He said he came back. He knew what he decided to do. He wanted to compete with rooms to go. He wanted to go national. He said, put him under. Imagine? I asked this guy like 40 questions. I was so engaged. This is the most interesting. I'm sitting in this used furniture store in a fucking cracked in a Marbach in San Antonio. That is cracked in. It was bad. Loved it. Um shout out, Sid.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:01

These old men have stories. You need to listen to them.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:04

You do. You need to ask them questions, too.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:05

Even if they work at a shitty place. I went to an alternator shop one time for some reason, and the people, old men there, they know a lot of shit. They know a lot of stuff. They know more, they've forgotten more than they'll ever know. That's for damn sure. Yeah. What else you got, bud?

SPEAKER_01 1:22:19

I we got three things left, but I kind of want to save them for next time.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:22

Oh, yeah, we can.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:24

Sure. We want the felt thing. Yeah, I'm gonna let that saturate. I'm gonna let's sit for the week. Just think about how funny it was. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:35

We got a good one for y'all next time.

Ziggy’s Taxidermy Goodbye

SPEAKER_02 1:22:37

All right. Well, I guess uh th oh um sponsored by um Ziggy's Taxodermine. You stuff it, we fluff it. Or what is that?

SPEAKER_01 1:22:45

You kill it, we drill it. They actually were the first people to make uh the real life uh sex dolls.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:55

Oh my god. So wait, how? That's their proprietary. We can't proprietary, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:03

But what I heard is they find one of those cabbages that fall off the truck and then they haul it out and shlack it.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:10

Does that count? Is it taxender?

SPEAKER_01 1:23:12

And then they put it in the body.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:14

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:15

Shout out, Ziggy.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:16

Shout out Ziggy. All right, well I guess we'll holler at you next time.