31. Smiles for Miles

We bounce from a legendary Uvalde breakfast order into gut health worries, road stories, and the weird little systems that run a town. Along the way we argue about barbacoa, laugh at internet nonsense, and end up appreciating good service and old trucks more than we expected.
• the weekend special breakfast breakdown and why it works 
• all-day breakfast arguments and fast food work ethic 
• fries, concession stand food, and local shoutouts 
• the O’Reilly pro backroom and small town “clubs” 
• sugar cravings, water vs tea, and gut parasite content online 
• what counts as real barbacoa and why people get it wrong 
• runaway truck ramps, brake fade, and mountain driving fear 
• Spurs game people-watching and the cumin rabbit hole 
• drive-thru waiting psychology and the “don’t pull up” rule 
• Starbucks app chaos that turns into unexpected credit 
• Instagram personalities and why oversharing feels risky 
• phone holsters, ditching the smartwatch, and loving silence 
• getting scammed online and learning to slow down before buying 
Come see us at Old G Motors for the best deals. Feels like a steal. 
You could be able to just stop in here and pick you up a sticker.

Transcript

Shoutouts And Studio Chaos

SPEAKER_01 0:03

And we're back. Oh my god, what the hell is that thing on there? Oh, I got an update on this thing. What's that, McNew? Is it working? Yeah, we're on. Shout out, Ziggy's, taxidermy. We're on here. Taxidermines. What uh you talk to them, I mean? Are they satisfied with their Ziggy's? Yeah. I didn't care. I talked to them, but I mean I've been doing everything uh I told them I'd do. Oh, nice. Shout out Ziggy's, shout out Victoria During, shout out South Africa. Who else?

SPEAKER_03 0:37

They should get you a uh taxidermy uh mouse, but just the back end, so rat's ass. Pissing on a cotton swab. Like, can you always see that?

SPEAKER_01 0:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 0:47

I want to call them out those frogs. Dude, those frogs are awesome. They're always hanging out, having a good time.

SPEAKER_01 0:53

Imagine them there.

SPEAKER_03 0:54

Yeah, just in the middle of our table, just playing mariachis or poker.

SPEAKER_01 0:58

Can you make like the people who come buy a car like stand or sit in front of it?

SPEAKER_03 1:02

Like yeah, stare at them again. I don't like this.

SPEAKER_01 1:07

Makes me uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_03 1:08

We're getting closer to being able to sell a car around here. Technical difficulties, bro.

SPEAKER_01 1:17

No, it's fine. People like this.

SPEAKER_03 1:20

Who'd you get to plug your wires in, Feltz? You got shit going everywhere.

SPEAKER_01 1:24

I'm just I'm worried about like the well.

SPEAKER_03 1:26

If you're worried about it, you'd have done it right. But I know. That's alright. It's getting a little too comfortable, bud.

SPEAKER_01 1:33

Is that what it is?

The Weekend Special Breakdown

SPEAKER_01 1:35

We just had breakfast in the old what's it called? Packeria number five.

SPEAKER_03 1:39

Uh my kids call it Chernobyl.

SPEAKER_01 1:42

Chernobyl?

SPEAKER_03 1:42

I guess. I don't know why.

SPEAKER_01 1:44

Because it makes your ass blow out. I guess because it's made mine go.

SPEAKER_03 1:48

Goes everywhere. But shout out to Jalisco by the honey bowl.

SPEAKER_01 1:52

The Herradero, which means horseshoe. I just realized that.

SPEAKER_03 1:56

Which may be bringing the best breakfast in Uvalde.

SPEAKER_01 2:00

Tell them what it came with.

SPEAKER_03 2:01

It's called the Whoever Thought of This needs a raise. I'm just telling you, it needs a raise. And it's called the weekend special, but I think it ought to be on the menu for any time. Because you what if you're what if your weekend is the middle of the week? Todos los yes. Todos los yes. Weekend special, aka the breakfast sampler. AKA the best, the best breakfast in town. I'm going out here saying if you if you own a restaurant and you're not, hey, let's go ahead and honey bowl. We need to step your game up.

SPEAKER_01 2:37

It's called the horseshoe. That's what it means.

SPEAKER_03 2:39

The horseshoe. That's it.

SPEAKER_01 2:41

I like the maybe the guy bought those little like those little dishes. Like, what the fuck do I use these for? Oh, binge.

SPEAKER_03 2:47

Well, I think that and taro beans. Oh, okay, yeah. So basically, here's what the weekend special is. You go in there, you say, weekend special, and they'll say, Would you like your eggs over medium, over easy, over hard? How would you like your over hard? Who gets that? I like over hard, but they don't ever offer that. No, it's just like cooked where the yolk doesn't run when you cut into them. So, anyways, your eggs are huevos rancheros, two eggs, two eggs, huevos rancheros. You tell them what you want. Then it comes with a side of barbacoa, which is basically a handful of barbacoa. Everything is a perfect portion amount, like where you get enough of everything. Yeah. And if you eat all of everything, you're like, oh my god, that was too much, but it was so good. It was good. A handful of barbacoa, chopped onions, uh, chopped jalapeno, uh, three limes.

SPEAKER_01 3:44

The little bowl, the little bowl of a little bit. The little good limes. The good not the fat cat lime. They're like dog testicles. Yes. Yeah. They're perfectly round.

SPEAKER_03 3:53

And then you get refried beans, you get potatoes, and you get a little chottle bowl of menudo. A little bean bowl of manudo.

SPEAKER_01 4:05

It was good, dude.

SPEAKER_03 4:06

And you get your choice of two tortillas. You can have corn, you can have flour, you can be like me, one of each. Never eat both of them.

SPEAKER_01 4:13

What if they came out with a kiff a cower mix? Like a mix between flour and corn tortilla.

SPEAKER_03 4:20

Oh. I think H E B tries to do that sometimes.

SPEAKER_01 4:22

They do.

SPEAKER_03 4:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:23

Do they? Yeah. Oh, maybe. I like their corn tortillas. They're they're they're they're they're good. They're almost like flour. They're so fucking good. Maybe they use mice, or is it the same thing?

All Day Breakfast And Work Ethic

SPEAKER_03 4:35

To my knowledge, there's only three places in town where you can get breakfast during any time that they're open. One of them is Apple Hop. Yeah. The other one is Julio's.

SPEAKER_01 4:47

Oh, really? I never go in there.

SPEAKER_03 4:49

They're full, they're full menu full time. And the other one is Ophelia's full menu all the time. The Jalisco, if you go in for breakfast, you can order anything off the menu during breakfast, but at 10:30, you can no longer order breakfast.

SPEAKER_01 5:03

That's how sunrise is.

SPEAKER_03 5:05

No level, just open it up. Give it to the people. Open it up. I will tell you right now, if Whataburger did breakfast all day, they would be so much better.

SPEAKER_01 5:14

Why?

SPEAKER_03 5:14

You want a taquito like in the like I want to I want a breakfast burger with some hash brown sticks or a chorizo and egg taco from Whataburger at three o'clock in the for lunch.

SPEAKER_01 5:26

Every time I go in there, they're like, they're busting their fucking ass.

SPEAKER_03 5:28

They are. That isn't like a grab-ass jack in the box job where you're just making noises on the intercom. You're bowed up.

SPEAKER_01 5:35

It's like in and out. Like I think that's why they're so successful because they they're you go in, they're working.

SPEAKER_03 5:41

I have actually gone been interviewing people before, like trying to fill positions. And if I find someone that has Bill Miller written on their application, I will I will purposely make the extra effort. I've actually never been able to onboard a Bill Miller person. No, but that's always like my target's like, damn, I want this Bill Miller person, especially if they'd made it like two or three years at Bill Miller. Because I know like they got processes, they're used to working all day. I've never been in Bill Miller seeing someone on their phone or Whataburger.

SPEAKER_01 6:09

What never?

SPEAKER_03 6:10

No.

SPEAKER_01 6:11

In and out, no, no. I've only been there a few times, but yeah.

SPEAKER_03 6:13

Dude, in and out is insane. You go in there, they've got an army of some bitches wearing goofy ass hats, and they're like all chipper and stuff.

SPEAKER_01 6:20

The guy's like, dude, he's like pushing those fries in the potatoes like hard.

SPEAKER_03 6:24

I'm like, and then and they suck.

SPEAKER_01 6:26

Come on, dude.

SPEAKER_03 6:27

Shout out.

SPEAKER_01 6:28

You like their fries? Oh, they're all right. I think there's something to be had there, something lacking.

SPEAKER_03 6:34

Uh, you know who you would not know this because I'm about to tell you, because there's no reason you should know this. Maybe the best fries in the area. The Kenny County Little League in Brackettville. They have French fries at the concession stand.

SPEAKER_01 6:46

Oh, that's nice.

SPEAKER_03 6:46

They have a fryer there. I don't know. Yeah. Oh shit. They do hamburgers on a black on a black stone there. Like they got it going on. Yeah.

Great Fries And Local Good Turns

SPEAKER_01 6:55

Thank you. Uh, what's his name? That super guy. The one running for uh Congress. Thank you, Brandon Herrera.

SPEAKER_03 7:04

Um so yeah, we had uh we had a great breakfast.

SPEAKER_01 7:09

I had to take a dump right after a little uh that's a little inside baseball. Oh, shout out to uh the rabies uh guys over on uh West End Park. Which one the West End Park? Is that the Mexican park? Yeah, the one where they're building that uh water that pinched water park.

SPEAKER_03 7:30

The water park.

SPEAKER_01 7:30

I saw Ross Wilson there. I had been beefing with this guy for like 25 years. I saw him, he was like the nicest guy. You've been beefing with Ross? Kinda. I on Facebook I'm like uh I've known him from high school, like it was just like an older guy, like younger guy dynamic.

SPEAKER_02 7:45

Oh yeah, I think I made fun of his wife, but uh I met him, he's a nice guy.

SPEAKER_01 7:50

I'm like, and then I'm like, I'm an ass. I've been an asshole this whole time. Shout out Ross Wilson, he's a good dude. Nice guy, nice guy, nice guy. He was donating his time.

SPEAKER_03 7:58

Oh, really? He was up there making it happen for the what who was who was putting that on? The Humane Society. The Humane Society. So uh the uh shout out the Bark. I think they're going by Bark now, or is it Humane Society, or is there both? So Bark is the Briscoe Animal Resist Center, yeah, which I think is like kind of they're trying to all encompass everything under that one brand. Yeah, yeah. Shout out to the Bark. I think I think we're gonna go uh knock out some paving for them here. Pretty swing.

SPEAKER_01 8:29

Were y'all doing the one at uh O'Reilly's? We did. You just did it again?

SPEAKER_03 8:33

Uh we did we did some work over at O'Reilly's.

SPEAKER_01 8:35

No, no, but I saw them they redid the whole thing the other day. Was that you?

SPEAKER_03 8:38

That was us. Good.

SPEAKER_01 8:39

That was us because I noticed you the first time, I'm like, I wonder if this is them the next time.

SPEAKER_03 8:43

So shout out, appreciate it. It's it's kind of hard to do your best.

The O’Reilly Pro Backroom

SPEAKER_03 8:50

Uh it's kind of funny how things work. Like it never rains. We're in this horrible drought, and then you get a job like O'Reilly's, where it's literally in the center of town, and a ton of people go to, and what should be a one-day job turns into like a week-long job because of the weather, and you're trying to do something the right way.

SPEAKER_01 9:11

I was buying trying to buy parts and then you had the whole thing blocked off.

SPEAKER_03 9:13

Uh man, I was I went to O'Reilly's yesterday and uh how about that one spot at O'Reilly's, and everybody, I'm not even gonna say where it is because you know exactly what I'm gonna say. The mechanic spot, like where the fucker pulls in, and then there's always somebody working on their car at that one spot at O'Reilly's.

SPEAKER_01 9:31

He's got like parachering fluid running everywhere.

SPEAKER_03 9:32

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:33

It's like Will do you ever go in the pro section? What's the pro section? This is what I realized working with this other guy. You can just go behind O'Reilly's, there's these double doors, and you walk in, it's a whole pro section.

SPEAKER_03 9:45

So I noticed that we extend our are working or like paving and painting and striping like exceeded well beyond the door of O'Reilly's, and then there's like a double door there, like like a speaker's pro.

SPEAKER_01 9:58

That's a speakeasy for auto parts. You go in there if you're a mechanic, works in town, and you just talk shit all day. Oh man. And they're eating donuts in there, they have like Christmas parties there, it's crazy.

SPEAKER_03 10:08

Really?

SPEAKER_01 10:09

You and you're in the gang, you're in the gang? Yeah. I'm I'm gotten so I've gotten in there so many times that I can walk through the cashier in the front, go to the back, and then walk freely, but all throughout the whole story, no one says anything. Damn. It's pretty nice. It's like a little club, dude.

SPEAKER_03 10:24

You I didn't know you had that kind of cred, but yeah. What is it? It's called first call. Do they offer any kind of special treatment there in any of the other places in town? No. No. O'Reilly's is kind of out water burgering everybody, huh? Yeah, but they're owned by uh, was it Blackst Blackstone or what's that?

SPEAKER_01 10:42

No. Uh BlackRock.

SPEAKER_03 10:45

Really?

SPEAKER_01 10:46

Mm-hmm. I saw that they're like, who owns this?

SPEAKER_03 10:49

Like, oh, this there was still like they should change the name to instead of like O'Reilly's should be like uh Schwartz's or something. J'Riley's.

SPEAKER_01 11:01

Oh, we went to get that. I went to get my mom's dog at Rabbi Shaw, and there was a lady there, and she was as big as this table, and she uh got her dog vaccinated, and then she was with her mom or whoever. And her mom got in the driver's seat and opened the back hatch of their car, and uh like in a van? No, it was like a hatchback car. Opened it up, it went up like a fucking back to the future went up. She fell into the back, like she was like falling into a pool, and then the dog jumped in and then they took off with the hatch open.

SPEAKER_03 11:33

No way, yes, dude. She like backed up until like the back of her knees were at the bumper and then just fell in. Did a faith fall.

SPEAKER_01 11:41

Yeah. Springs are working. And then the dog jumped in next to her and they hauled ass. Damn, what a good dog. It was a good dog. It was a big dog. It was yeah, it was like a like a sm like a golden retriever.

SNAP Rules Sugar And Bad Habits

SPEAKER_03 11:57

This is not supposed to be like uh a mean segue. But did they just change the rules on what food you can get with Snap? Because my algorithm's kind of bumping with that.

SPEAKER_01 12:15

Yeah, you can't get uh like sugary drinks in Texas, I think.

SPEAKER_03 12:18

Okay, in Texas, because one of the videos I saw was a guy at HEB and he was like, You can't get this, you can't get that. He's like, literally, the only drink you can get at HEB now is water and I like snap.

SPEAKER_01 12:29

He it sounds cruel, but it's not. It's it you feel better if you just drink water and tea, unsweet tea. Uh I uh But I wonder if they allowed this little pack.

SPEAKER_03 12:40

Someone's at your wife or you I kinda I kinda went off the rocker this week. And I have a reason for it, but I I think I'm about to gain a bunch of weight.

SPEAKER_01 12:50

You see that coming.

SPEAKER_03 12:52

I see it coming.

SPEAKER_01 12:53

What? Why?

SPEAKER_03 12:55

Well, my wedding ring doesn't quite fit that well, so I gotta put on like a little weight. So Oh, you have to?

SPEAKER_01 13:01

Yeah, so exercises so it won't slide off.

SPEAKER_03 13:04

So gotta carve up. And uh you can do like my dad didn't flick us in the head like that. I love flicking a kid in the head. Keep doing it. Yeah, then leave a bruise and get them good and run on them.

SPEAKER_01 13:17

That fucking hurt hurt though. I hated that.

SPEAKER_03 13:20

That makes me happy.

SPEAKER_01 13:21

What were you saying?

SPEAKER_03 13:22

Uh gain weight. I'm gonna gain I'm gonna gain some weight. But then uh so I kind of been eating like crap this this week. I feel like more so than I have in a while. Yeah. I can feel it like then like I have a headache today, and I think it's because I had like I had ice cream like three days in a row. Oh my god, that's it.

SPEAKER_01 13:43

I I really think I had ice cream the night before.

SPEAKER_03 13:47

Uh and then uh what kind of ice cream did you have? I have a biscotti bar, and then I had a dipped cone. I've been kind of feigning dip cones.

SPEAKER_01 13:58

Those are so good. You get the orange one, you see that?

SPEAKER_03 14:01

Uh they had like a cookie Girl Scout cookie crunch dipped one or some mint chocolate chip dip or something.

SPEAKER_01 14:08

The orange Julius one I thought. I was like, I might get that one day.

SPEAKER_03 14:11

It ain't as good as the OG.

SPEAKER_01 14:13

I never got it, that's why.

SPEAKER_03 14:14

Yeah, don't don't stray, stay original.

SPEAKER_01 14:16

Just get pinchy chocolate.

SPEAKER_03 14:19

I had the Friday night of a uh like Pentecostal minister in Savannah.

SPEAKER_01 14:25

What do you mean?

SPEAKER_03 14:26

I came home and I started all the vehicles, and I had to jump a couple because I hadn't got to start them in a while, and then I let them run. Just enjoyed that, and then I came back and then I got the old wife and kids, and we all went and had dinner at Dairy Queen. Hold on, and got it and got a dip cone after dinner. And I was home responsible time about 8 30, and everybody was getting in bed. Watched an old program on the television. Who were you watching? Um, what did I I watched some horrible ass movie? Um, the new Ben Affleck Matt Damon movie. Oh, I saw that. It looks fucking atrocious.

SPEAKER_01 15:05

There were in I saw like I heard of an interview, they're like, This is our best one in years. And I watched like the first five minutes, I'm like, this is bad. Dude, there are there are no gatekeepers anymore.

SPEAKER_03 15:15

Like, if you used to put a piece of shit out, like you would get humiliated. Yeah. People would be talking about it. Nobody cares anymore because everyone's on their phone half the time. It we were talking last night, you couldn't make forest gump nowadays. Hell no. People would be like, Well, it's a retarded guy, it's three hours. Like, do do do do do do do do they're on their phone. Like, forrest gump is fucking amazing. Was he retarded?

SPEAKER_01 15:38

Um I mean, but was he was did his mom drink or something, or was he just retarded?

SPEAKER_03 15:43

I think he was just unlucky lottery, but he was like an idiot savant. He was he yeah, he knew his place. Yeah. My my grandfather used to call people like that smart like a fox. Like you think they're dumb, but just watch. Smart like a fox. There's like naturally smart. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:02

It's not learned, it's like in innate instinct. That's funny. Your grandpa.

SPEAKER_02 16:10

Shout out, Poppy. Shout out.

SPEAKER_01 16:14

What was I saying?

Barbacoa Debates And Food Standards

SPEAKER_01 16:15

So what else went on? My stomach hurts again.

SPEAKER_03 16:19

Fuck. Maybe you shouldn't have eaten the head of that.

SPEAKER_01 16:22

The fucking horse you got me. My mom's like, I sent a picture of my mom. She's like, You ate all that? The tatema también? Yes, mother, it is.

SPEAKER_03 16:34

What is up with that? Like only the old school Mexicans, gente, call it tatema. I don't know. You go somewhere else in my life.

SPEAKER_01 16:48

But it's barbacoa, right? But it's not, but it's not barbacoa, you see, barbacoa is something else. Barbacoa is like cheek meat. And tatema's like greasy ass sh goat head, or what is that?

SPEAKER_03 17:01

To me, barbacoa has gotta come off the head of a of a cow. It's gotta be cheek, or it's gotta be the caveza, or it's gotta be something. But you get a lot of people that try to do barbacoa. Like, I've been places where like they're like, Would you like to try a barbacoa? It's goddamn pot roast, stringy ass pot roast. Like, no, I don't. I don't ever want this again in my life, pal. And it turns white in the fridge. And then you have like the barbacoa, like the that's goat, and I've never seen had someone try to pass off barbacoa that's pig, but I've definitely had them try to pass off the goat before.

SPEAKER_01 17:36

I like a nice goat. So my grandpa used to eat the eyes. I tried them one time, they're good. They're alright. It's not enough of it. God damn it.

SPEAKER_03 17:47

Some people call barbacoa the some people will even go as far as the lingua as barbacoa.

SPEAKER_01 17:53

Really, I wouldn't do that. Yeah, I wouldn't do that either. Lingua is good though. I'm not a big lingua guy.

SPEAKER_03 17:57

Really? I don't dislike it. I'll eat it, but I don't order it.

SPEAKER_01 18:00

Yeah, I oh you don't? No. I like that they have the lingua tacos in San Antonio I get.

SPEAKER_03 18:04

They're good. Shout out lingua in the park. I enjoyed that lingua. It's pretty damn good. Did they put it, they they dice it in little cubes or but then like we ate that lingua and it's like, damn, that's good. And then they're like, oh, try the pastor. And I was like, oh, this is better. And I'm not a pastor guy either. I am a pastor guy sometimes. And it is good. Sometimes I feel like the pastor is just like the I'm gonna clean all the shit out and just call it pastor.

SPEAKER_01 18:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 18:29

It's past the expiration date here.

SPEAKER_01 18:31

But isn't it like authentic when they like carve it off of that little? Yeah, but isn't that from like I heard that's like Lebanese? Everybody's got one of those widgets. Man. Because I think a lot of people from Mexico now came from Lebanon back in the day. Man, there's a our history's crazy. Mexicans.

SPEAKER_03 18:49

It's crazy. They would ride those uh Nile crocodiles over here. Did they?

SPEAKER_01 18:54

That's what I heard. They would ride the Nile crocodiles to America. I love that. That's an AI picture.

SPEAKER_03 19:02

They uh apparently the world is uh we're about to get to meet aliens or some shit. They say that every two years. Yeah, I don't know. We just it's like I can't keep up anymore. It's like aliens, pedophiles, bombs, Muslims. And then they're like, God damn, they're on to us, and let's give them some eight dollar diesel and then it'll chill them out.

SPEAKER_01 19:27

Yeah, they're gonna take a shit, dude.

SPEAKER_03 19:30

Bro, I don't know what to tell you.

SPEAKER_01 19:31

You don't have anything in here?

SPEAKER_03 19:33

I mean, I do, but I but it's yours. No. What am I supposed to do? We're supposed to just pause this show and just sit here and like work on my notes while you That sounds perfect. I'll go eat you at Ben. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 19:45

Dude, I gotta go.

SPEAKER_03 19:46

This is too much information for the podcast.

SPEAKER_01 19:48

I know, but I gotta go. I had pizza last night.

SPEAKER_03 19:52

Bro, you've been off work for two weeks. You're just foundering yourself. How do you get how do you make any miles?

SPEAKER_01 19:58

What do you mean?

SPEAKER_03 19:59

You just aren't you just shitting all the time? How do you how do you make a hand out there on the road?

SPEAKER_01 20:04

Shit at the stores. Can I use your bathroom? They hate to see you coming. Yeah, because I'm always using that.

SPEAKER_03 20:11

Don't make a mess, sir. You use the pot like the one that for the customers, or they got like a special employee?

SPEAKER_01 20:17

They have the they have the employee sometimes, they'll be like, don't use ours, and then I will use theirs. Damn. They can't say shit.

SPEAKER_03 20:23

Because you're one of them.

SPEAKER_01 20:25

Shout out, I am one of them. They don't like to claim me, but I am.

SPEAKER_03 20:28

You're finally in a club.

SPEAKER_01 20:30

That and the one at O'Reilly's. And I have used our bathroom too. Let's see if I can hold it.

unknown 20:39

Oh.

SPEAKER_03 20:41

Do it. Breathe through your nose, bud. Breathe through your nose. What else you got? What do we have?

Parasite Reels And Gut Health Myths

SPEAKER_03 20:46

Uh oh, look, this is a great segue. Gut parasites. Do you think they're real?

SPEAKER_01 20:52

Uh no. I've seen a lot of um reels about them.

SPEAKER_03 20:55

Dude, my reels are everywhere, and the algorithm is all about eat this African bitter root weed and get the parasite. 14 days of bitter. It'll cut your sugar cravings and the parasites. There's there's a everyone's gut's full of parasites.

SPEAKER_01 21:12

It's just people trying to sell you crap that you don't fucking.

SPEAKER_03 21:14

I believe that, but I also believe like sugar is a horrible drug, and we're the majority of people are some kind of addicted to it. And I do think like your gut, there's no way like your gut doesn't have parasites in it because we're just consuming stuff in restaurants.

SPEAKER_01 21:32

You have to have a certain amount of bacteria in it.

SPEAKER_03 21:34

Yeah. But I would say that it's with all the processed food and all the crap and that people don't really take care of themselves. I'm assuming the majority of people have a counterproductive gut bacteria. Oh, yeah, for sure. And I've I don't know if the algorithms have convinced me, the reels have convinced me of that, or if my body feels it, but I I really am like. What can I do to make my gut better? No, you really you want to change something. I I I think I could like I I could just curve my cravings for for I I don't like sugar makes me feel it's funny, like especially not like if I guess that's really the only crap I'm like putting in my body. I'm not doing no alcohol, there's no drugs, there's no alcohol, there's no milk. Um but it's like the the sugar is still in my realm.

SPEAKER_01 22:29

Yeah, we're eating way too much sugar. And I think drinking sugar is the worst thing you could possibly do.

SPEAKER_03 22:34

Yeah, that's why I don't do that. And I have a hard time like drinking only water. As close as I can get to like drinking only water is unsweet tea. I just don't like water. I love unsweet tea. I hate water.

SPEAKER_01 22:45

I've always hated water. Piss on water. Water sucks. Water sucks. But if you only drink water, you will feel amazing.

SPEAKER_03 22:52

That's what they say.

SPEAKER_01 22:54

That's what they say. There's a guy named Dr. Steve Turley, and he has a YouTube channel I listen to all the time. He's always talking about um kimchi, how it'll offset the microplastics in your body. Because like I think they can find it in your blood. So he sells these kimchi pills or some shit.

SPEAKER_03 23:11

I mean, isn't kimchi just like fermented cabbage? Yes, like curry. Or you just follow one of these trucks around. I never had cabbage and I soak it in a butt white in a natural light.

SPEAKER_01 23:23

It might be it. That might be it. But then it gets all the microplastics out. I don't know. I don't know. But what about these cups? Aren't these how many how how many years have you been drinking out of these styrofoam cups?

SPEAKER_03 23:34

Shout out star foam. I love star foam.

SPEAKER_01 23:36

I know, but are they are they leaching out into the drink into your drink?

SPEAKER_03 23:40

I think the styroam's better than the plastic, like all the plastic water bottles and all of that.

SPEAKER_01 23:45

Why are you sucking a plastic straw? Shout out Ruby's. My sister went to Ruby's, said uh that guy over there loves our show. Everyone loves our show. Shout out. Shout out to uh Renee.

SPEAKER_03 23:59

If I start drinking again, I'm gonna go to Ruby's. How about that? How about that for an endorsement?

SPEAKER_01 24:02

Let's do it.

SPEAKER_03 24:03

Let's do it.

SPEAKER_01 24:03

Let's just start do you think they'll serve non-alcoholic drinks?

SPEAKER_03 24:07

Uh Ruby's reach out to us. Let us know. Y'all have any non-alcoholic beers in there? I like to come in there and get a little secondhand smoke, drink me a fake beer, pretend I'm one of the people. I might smoke I might go in there and smoke a cigar. How about that? Ooh. Ooh, how about that? It's weird. Some some of the places you can smoke in, they're like no cigars. I mean, what do you mean you can just come in here and everyone can rip a pack of Winston's Harley Davidson cigarettes, but you can't have a cigar.

SPEAKER_01 24:33

I'm telling you. Or I was winning with the uh the mesquite tree branch and lit that motherfucker on fire.

SPEAKER_03 24:42

Oh, what uh yeah, so we gotta get these gut parasite deals under control. I need to we need to find a gut parasite expert. Bring him in here, talk to him for 10 minutes.

SPEAKER_01 24:53

Yeah. Um, okay, so I was thinking about this.

Immigration Takes And Chimp War Theory

SPEAKER_01 24:56

Muslim, everyone hates Muslims. They're like, they're gonna ruin the country, blah, blah, blah. I think we should bring him in because I think that's like the last per people on earth that we we have a problem with. Who else is are there or that are our enemies?

SPEAKER_03 25:09

Um have you seen this deal about the chimpanzees silver war on?

SPEAKER_01 25:14

Yeah, yeah. They're like killing hundreds a day or whatever.

SPEAKER_03 25:17

And they're just like blaming it on like because the communication stuff, like the elder chimpanzees had bridged the gap of these two tribes and like the Trump chimp and the fucking and the Putin chimp or whatever, they were kind of like potteries to get after it. And then they died, and the and the ones below like had so much animosity, it like just boiled over. It's boiled over, and now it's past the point of return. Like it and I've I read that as uh comparable to the modern world, like we just don't have enough communication.

SPEAKER_01 25:50

That might be true.

SPEAKER_03 25:51

Like it's really nothing to do with differences or any like you're totally capable of cohabitating and harm like living in harmony, but because there is no like d dynamic communication that you just think you just go basically basic instinct, and you're like, I'm gonna kill these guys.

SPEAKER_01 26:10

Yeah. I don't know. What about that? Like the Muslims, like they're our last thing. Like, what if we just get rid of them or bring them in, and then there's no one else to fight?

SPEAKER_03 26:19

I I have a better idea.

SPEAKER_01 26:21

I'd love to hear it.

SPEAKER_03 26:22

We get all we get all the Muslims and all of the Indians that want to come here, and we send them to Mexico, and for everyone Mexico gets, we take a Mexican.

SPEAKER_01 26:35

I love it.

SPEAKER_03 26:36

And then we'll let Mexico assimilate. Uh like I'll eat some Muslim barbacoa.

SPEAKER_01 26:42

Like, don't I'm sure, dude, every thing I know I've had their uh what's it called?

SPEAKER_03 26:46

The Indian flatbread's just a tortilla. That's all it is. The non shout out non's egglin. Uh and then so we send all them to Mexico.

SPEAKER_01 26:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 26:59

And then we take a Mexican for everyone that goes. I'm all in on this.

SPEAKER_01 27:02

If if someone's willing to do that, I'm all in to it.

SPEAKER_03 27:05

Yes. If you want to elect me president and I'll get this trade going. Have you seen this uh Tyler Oliver, the guy Oliveta? Does the yeah Olivetta that uh does exposes all the what he's like in Nicholas? Yes. Well he's in uh he's not as retarded. He's in Frisco right now messing with uh Indians. There's a bunch of Indians there's a bunch of Indians. It's crazy. But I never see him out in the wild. I just see them on TV. It seems like they just basically stay in that one community. I have no idea this is that's a real thing.

SPEAKER_01 27:40

Could be completely fake.

unknown 27:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:42

I have to ask Craig Herndon, he lives there.

SPEAKER_03 27:46

Yeah, I ask Clint.

SPEAKER_01 27:49

My gut has subsided.

SPEAKER_03 27:51

You you breathe past it.

SPEAKER_01 27:53

I'm fine.

SPEAKER_03 27:54

It's like Lama's.

SPEAKER_01 28:00

Do you ever have to take a shit on the road? Uh I try not to. I dude, it's crazy. Now I don't have to do it that much. I'm like, I can wait. But uh sometimes I can't wait. I bet that's bad for you too. So one time I had I was going through Kentucky and I had to go so bad, and I just took a dump off the off a bridge. I don't believe that. It was in the middle of the night.

SPEAKER_03 28:22

I had to go. It was coming. I don't think anybody wants to listen to a podcast about all your shitting adventures.

SPEAKER_01 28:28

Okay, well, that's just one adventure. Let's let's change the subject.

Runaway Truck Ramps And Mountain Fear

SPEAKER_01 28:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 28:33

Uh talking about uh runaway truck stuff. Have you ever used a runaway truck ramp?

SPEAKER_01 28:41

No. I I should have though, one time.

SPEAKER_03 28:43

Have you seen it? Yeah, have you seen someone yeah?

SPEAKER_01 28:47

I've seen the I've seen the aftermath, but not the live action.

SPEAKER_03 28:50

No, I haven't been that lucky. Dude, that's crazy that they can.

SPEAKER_01 28:57

But you you're alive, yeah, and you don't kill anybody else.

SPEAKER_03 29:00

And your truck is your your cargo is salvageable, it appears. It goes up, it goes down and then shh they'll scoop up. And it's just like real loose sand. Is that like gravel?

SPEAKER_01 29:11

Gravel. And I think there's some sand in there. Um, yeah, this one time I was going through Salt Lake City and they they didn't teach me shit. And I was like going down this mountain and my brake stopped working. And I was like, uh going faster and faster, and finally I'd let go and I kind of just maneuvered it, let them cool down, and they started working again. Yeah, it was crazy.

SPEAKER_03 29:31

But you were just you were so green you didn't even know to be scared.

SPEAKER_01 29:36

No, I was scared, and I was green, but uh I was like, I think maybe I'm willing to risk it. And I did, and it came out fine. And I never had that problem again.

SPEAKER_04 29:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:47

It's because you uh you shift up so you you you're not you're supposed to shift down, you don't shift up. So then I shifted up and it took off. Runaway on you. What about these automatic trucks? How do they I don't know. Uh I don't know how that works. I haven't I've never driven one in the mountains before. I always drove I just drove manuals.

unknown 30:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:05

But I knew a guy who used to drive in the mountains with one, it was fine.

SPEAKER_03 30:09

I had a pickup that had that, and we went through the mountains and we'd have a hard time when I was pulling my gooseneck.

SPEAKER_01 30:15

What did it have?

SPEAKER_03 30:16

Oh, Duramax Allison transmission in it.

SPEAKER_01 30:19

I know, but well, you had was it uh standard?

SPEAKER_03 30:22

No, it was automatic, and then it wouldn't use that engine brake or whatever and try to slow it down. But when it if you had too heavy of a load and too steep of a hill, it doesn't do anything. You just kind of gotta whip it around until you can slow her down. Yeah, it was scary. Yeah. Uh runaway truck ramps.

SPEAKER_01 30:40

I've been I've seen the ones on uh the videos online where they do it.

SPEAKER_03 30:43

I saw a live one the other day off of a driver's dash cam where he hit one of those records. Yeah. And I was like, holy shit. They should make that a carnival ride. Like you should they should make a simulation of that. It would be amazing.

SPEAKER_01 30:58

It's too scary. Have a heart attack. I made a promise to myself a long time ago. I'm like, I'm not going to one of those. You'll lose your job. You might, you're gonna fuck everything up, everyone's gonna make fun of you. It's just like no upside.

SPEAKER_03 31:11

You'd just rather die.

SPEAKER_01 31:12

The only upside is or the only downside to do using it, or upside would be you're gonna live, I guess. Yeah. But everything else is bad.

unknown 31:22

Bad.

SPEAKER_03 31:22

I don't even like thinking about it. And somebody's gonna, I bet somebody's using one of those once a day. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:30

There's a guy who's supposed to use it and he didn't. He killed a bunch of people and he went to prison, I think. Damn. That could be years ago. It could have been. Could have been you. Spurs

Spurs Baddies And Cumin Jokes

SPEAKER_01 31:40

baddies. What is that?

SPEAKER_03 31:42

Uh I'm gonna jump around on you. How about that? I've been going to uh a handful of Spurs games. Still? I hate basketball. I don't know how you stand it. I'm going to I'm gonna go to the Spurs game tonight. Last game of the season for me. Okay. What were we saying? Uh but they got uh what I just call the Spurs baddies, and I don't know who these gals are, and I think sometimes some of them might even be like just prostitutes or OnlyFans models or something. I don't know. But like you can tell like the whole existence of their life is just being a Spurs baddie. Just to get ready. Like they get ready, they go to the game, they they're as they're showing as much skin as possible to go to a basketball game.

SPEAKER_01 32:28

You think they're going to like uh the gym just to get ready for this?

SPEAKER_03 32:31

Uh yeah, and they're it's like they're glammed out. Like this is their red carpet event. And I tell you what, these Spurs baddies, you know they're not eating popcorn, you know they're not drinking calories, but every every six minutes these bitches are up and down the going up and stairs, yeah. Strutting around, just trying to get those eyeballs. And what and what uh what's the race there? I would say the mass majority is Hispanic, but there's a few uh gringas.

SPEAKER_01 33:03

Oh, okay. You don't see any black?

SPEAKER_03 33:05

Oh, yeah, yeah. There's a few black, and the I will say the black Spurs baddies never wear bras. Never wear bras. But the black and a black Spurs baddie could actually be a baddie or a big fat lady who's just like still wearing the same outfit with no bra and thinks she's a baddie.

SPEAKER_01 33:24

Her punz is hanging out, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Fupa. I see at the gas station in Santa. I'm like, look your punzas out, but you you're okay with that, huh?

SPEAKER_03 33:32

Yeah, they're all about it. They're strutting. They're strutting. This is a tortilla warmer right there.

SPEAKER_01 33:37

Underneath?

SPEAKER_03 33:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:39

Oh fuck. You smell like a cumin. It's cumin nature.

SPEAKER_03 33:55

It's cumin nature. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 33:58

That old camino is potent, but do you think do you think they could make a smash a little flower ball into a tortilla with it? Oh yeah. Oh my god. Oh yeah. I could see that on like an Instagram. Like later I'll like go, it'll come up on my reels. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 34:16

And I go for a jogging my really tight yoga pants. I like cumin though, don't you? I love it. I love it. Can't have guisada without it. Cumino? That's my that's what everyone calls it on here. Um that's it. What is cumin?

SPEAKER_01 34:31

Spurs baddies, shout out. What is cumin?

SPEAKER_03 34:33

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 34:35

I looked that up. It's got like a weird flavor. It is good though.

SPEAKER_03 34:39

Yeah. I think it's just like dried armpit. With chili powder.

SPEAKER_01 34:46

Spurs baddies. Yeah, I bet there's a lot of goodly women out there. I just don't like basketball. I hate everything about it. I don't like the culture. I don't like anything about it.

SPEAKER_03 34:54

I'll tell you what, though.

SPEAKER_01 34:55

I do like that they those people in there playing, they are like they're like, we're doing this. They're doing it up. Oh, we're gonna work hard.

SPEAKER_03 35:02

It's entertaining. I I really have gotten where I don't care to really watch any sports on television at all, but I do enjoy being there to spectate like a live sport in the moment. Yeah, yeah, live sport. And it can even be something I don't really know anything about. Basketball's what about like vol beach volleyball?

SPEAKER_01 35:20

These women worthy thongs. I have not gone to thongs, dude. While they're playing sports, and they're they're like, this is fine. They're all about the thongs.

SPEAKER_02 35:29

What's up with that? And some of them modesty has left the building on that list. A lot of a lot of cheese, too. Uh money? Yeah. What do you mean? Like the play sponsorship? Yeah, with sponsorships and stuff.

SPEAKER_03 35:43

Um and yeah.

SPEAKER_01 35:47

Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, that beach volleyball. I don't even see men's beach volleyball.

SPEAKER_03 35:53

I've seen women's say, as far as like all the women's sports I want to watch, I think basketball is the the last, dead last. It is, they look like they're volleyball's ahead. They're like tennis is ahead, they're almost like gymnastics is ahead. That's like top three.

SPEAKER_01 36:08

Yeah, but women's figure skating ahead. I don't like figure skating. Do you better than basketball? When the women play basketball, it looks like they're not trying.

SPEAKER_03 36:16

I would like to see the women of the WNBA figure skate. That's what I would I would go watch that.

SPEAKER_01 36:24

Me too. Yeah, could they do it?

unknown 36:26

Uh I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 36:27

Have you been on a skating room before?

SPEAKER_03 36:29

Um, one time I hated it. It's not free.

SPEAKER_01 36:31

Were you sore the next day?

SPEAKER_03 36:32

Because you fell so many times. I had to have like one of those old rockers, like the walkers, like an old person. I couldn't even stand up.

SPEAKER_01 36:38

Dude, the next day I was sore like a motherfucker. I couldn't even yeah, I couldn't even stand up. Where were you in Antarctica? Where did you feel like sick enough? In Austin, like in 1994. Damn. It's crazy. It was a painful experience. I bet never do it again. And skate. I don't like the idea of skating.

SPEAKER_03 36:59

I don't either.

Music Hate And Pizza Hut Waiting

SPEAKER_01 37:00

I don't like music. I don't like skating.

SPEAKER_03 37:02

I don't like rollerblading either. Why are you hating on musicians? Why do you hate music?

SPEAKER_01 37:07

Dude, I hate music.

unknown 37:08

Really?

SPEAKER_01 37:09

You're playing that music in that truck. I wanted to turn it off. If I hate music, I hate it.

SPEAKER_03 37:13

Dude, I would say probably 60% of the time I prefer silence because I hate music. But then sometimes I'm like in a mood like, I just want to play a couple of songs. I just go in the back of them.

SPEAKER_01 37:24

I'm like, if we're listening to anything, it'll be from the 90s and before. Yeah. Yeah, like Parker McCullum. He's a U He's a Uvalde guy, isn't he? Or he comes out here and hangs out. He's got a ranch around here or something. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 37:36

He's got um a few catchy tunes. A couple of bangers. Yeah. We saw him at the Houston livestock and rodeo. Houston baddies. Houston baddies. There was a lot of Houston baddies running around. A lot of them.

SPEAKER_01 37:51

I had pizza last night. Where from? Pizza Hut.

SPEAKER_03 37:54

And what'd you order?

SPEAKER_01 37:56

Um the it was a lar two largest, ten dollars a piece.

SPEAKER_03 38:02

Delivery or carry out? Carry out. How long did they make you wait when you got there?

SPEAKER_01 38:05

Uh no, they I was ready. It was ready when you got there?

SPEAKER_03 38:09

Did you give them a buffer?

SPEAKER_01 38:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 38:11

20 minutes. So how long did they say it would be ready? 15. And you gave them 20 minutes on top of that? Before I left.

SPEAKER_01 38:18

No, no, no. I waited 20 after I ordered, and then I got ready and went and got it, and it was ready.

unknown 38:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 38:24

And it was full of people. You gotta basically double that time slot. Remember, you told me you went there and waited a long time, right?

SPEAKER_03 38:31

I I waited long enough to where I was like, I think this might be me on hidden camera, and I I can't lose my mind.

SPEAKER_01 38:38

I think I waited like that too. That's why I like to give them a little tiny little buffer. I don't mind waiting. If I have my phone, I can wait forever.

SPEAKER_03 38:45

It was like a jokes on me deal because they weren't even looking at me. I was like, these motherfuckers are in on it because they can't even make eye contact.

SPEAKER_01 38:51

You thought that was all about you? I'm insane, bud. I'm insane. I think white people hate waiting for food. I was at a McDonald's in Baittown, and the white dude went in, older white guy. He was like, I'll wait for a minute. And then after five minutes, he started screaming at this point. Where the fuck is my burger? God damn it. He just like wanted, he had a boat, like a trail on his trailer. He's like, I'm ready to go to the fucking lake. He was fucking pissed. I'm like, dude, calm down. What uh this is the ghetto, brother.

SPEAKER_03 39:20

So I've been watching some of these videos, and I think I would like to be like an insane person, but in that scenario, like the rage inside of me is like, I ought to just pull out a firearm and kill everyone here. But that's ridiculous. That's that's insane. But what if I started carrying around like a super soaker with me? And then like a bike and yeah, but they can't really do anything, dude.

SPEAKER_02 39:45

No, they'd let you go.

SPEAKER_03 39:46

But it would be so funny, like in situations where like I'm about to lose my mind just to pull out a like a water gun, a super soaker, and just start fucking spraying everyone and being like, How about now? How about now? You got time now? You get your ass kicked. Worth it. Worth it. I I think. Do you remember the old podcast that the the don't pull around rule? Like if you go through a drive-thru and they're like, can you pull forward and be like, oh no, thank you?

SPEAKER_01 40:12

Yeah, yeah. No, I'm gonna stay right here. I'm gonna stay right here. They'll get your food right then.

SPEAKER_03 40:15

They'll get the they all of a sudden they will move mountains to get you what you need. It's like, oh no, I no, thank you. Do you mind pulling up? I mind. I do mind. Yeah. I'll be right here. We forgot I forgot all about that, but that's true. Yeah, but I think that should be the same thing. Like if you go somewhere and it's like satisfactory and you pull out just like a super soaker and you just spray someone in the face and go, hey, that's this is unacceptable.

SPEAKER_01 40:44

We gotta bring that back, dude. The pull up, the pull up. Yeah, they made me do that the other day here at Billyb's across the street. Sir, do you mind pulling up to the the yellow pole? Oh, yes, sir. I do. I'm sorry. Actually, my mind quite a lot.

SPEAKER_03 40:58

Yeah. I'm I know this is gonna sound far-fetched, but pulling up is out is is against my religion.

SPEAKER_01 41:06

They did it to me at Starbucks. Pull up around the double doors, please.

SPEAKER_03 41:10

Dude. No! Starbucks enrages me. But I will tell you the one thing about Starbucks. Anytime I'm gonna get enraged at Starbucks, they kill me with kindness.

SPEAKER_01 41:22

They do.

SPEAKER_03 41:23

They kill me, they have the friendliest people. Shout out Starbucks friendliest people. Starbucks. I'm gonna put them on my list. If I see someone that's like, I worked at Starbucks, I'm gonna say that's a friendly fucker, I'm gonna hire them. Um the other day, I was coming back from San Antonio early in the morning, headed to

Starbucks Charges Twice Then Pays Back

SPEAKER_03 41:40

the office. So I go through the Pinche uh Hondo Starbucks at like 6 45, 6 30 in the morning. And I go through there, and the car in front of me goes and I pull up and they like scan my app. I pay with an app or whatever.

SPEAKER_01 41:56

Of course you have to.

SPEAKER_03 41:57

And uh they they scan my app. She had fucked something up on the computer, and so it charged me for the car in front of me, even though they were gone, and it charged me for mine. And I heard it go beep, beep, I heard it beep twice. I got the white person like, yeah, and I was like, and so then I sat there and I was like, surely not. And then my app wouldn't load. Like, you know, usually it's instantaneous that you can see the draw, and it wouldn't until they put my coffee in my hand, then I pulled up like 12 feet, and then it showed that I got charged for both. And it was like an additional $12. They got a sandwich and a drink. Yeah, and I was like, I need to go to I need to be at work here. Did you let it go? No, I couldn't. Okay, I couldn't.

SPEAKER_02 42:42

I was like, these motherfuckers.

SPEAKER_03 42:44

All right. So I pull back around and I go inside. And I walk inside and I get up to the counter and I'm like, I'm trying to like not be an asshole. Because now I'm like, And you're trying hard. I'm trying hard. Like it's taking, I'm gritting my teeth politely. I was like, excuse me, ma'am, but I I I'm pretty sure that I was charged for the car in front of me and my own order. I had my phone, and she goes, I'm so thankful that you came in. This is much easier for us to take care of right here at the store than you calling about it. I said, Okay.

SPEAKER_01 43:19

Calling, people call about that?

SPEAKER_03 43:20

And uh so I had my phone, she goes, Would you mind if I took your phone? Can I see your phone? I said, Yeah. She goes, it'll just help me. And so she grabbed my phone and she like hit like some buttons in the Starbucks app and she scanned my phone and she goes, Okay, I thank you. I appreciate it. I appreciate you coming in here. I was like, Okay, well then I look at my phone and it's like still not in there. And I was like, all right, I've I've I've tried whatever happened, I'm getting in my car, I'm leaving. Like, if they got me for 12 bucks, fuck it. Um I gotta go. So I get back on highway 90 and I open my phone. Not only did they give me give me all of the they gave me the money they took from me for the order in front of. They gave me back my money. So not zero. But then they credited me both of those amounts.

SPEAKER_01 44:06

Really?

SPEAKER_03 44:06

So I'd gotten charged like $24. They gave me back the $24 and added $24 to my account.

SPEAKER_01 44:11

No way. Yeah. I think they fucked up on that one. What?

SPEAKER_03 44:16

You want to book it? I'm happy.

SPEAKER_01 44:17

Well, yeah, you're happy. He fucking made money on the deal. Yeah. There was what I went, although one time here in New Valde, I went, it was a like a younger high school guy, and they fucked up my order, and I went in. I was like, You fucked my order up. And I gave him the drink. And he's and he starts making other people's drinks. And I was like, hey, uh, hey, dude. He's like, What? You expect me to work in your drink? I'm like, Well, you fucked up. It was like a whole big thing. I'm like, Well, you messed it up. And he like did it real fast, gave it to me. That's the only time that's one time in the last five years.

SPEAKER_03 44:47

Dude, that's another place. Like those people, not those people, but the Starbucks people, they overall have a really great attitude for people that are pretty much busy. I guess they have their slow time. You drive by here in U Valley, and you see nobody there. And like part of the time. But when they're busy, they're busy. And not only that, but then they're like, how the fuck? The menu's too big. And every time I go through there, they've added like two more. Try the matcha eggnog pumper nickel piss. I was about to say the pumpernickel piss. Like, I don't want, I don't want that. Well, what do you get? I get black coffee, or if I'm really treating myself, really treating myself, I get a skinny vanilla latte. Like a total hotel.

SPEAKER_01 45:31

I was about to say that.

SPEAKER_04 45:32

Can I have a hotito?

SPEAKER_01 45:34

I get the salted caramel cold brew. That's can I have diabetes, please? No, it's like uh yeah, it's bad. Can I get the train to the 30-ounce?

SPEAKER_03 45:46

The other day there was like a lady in front of me, and I was like, I was like, Musa ordered like 30,000 calories worth of drinks. Maybe she was a goober driver or a favor or whatever, because she just like kept ordering and kept ordering and she was like a reading off of a list. Uh the drinks are sugary, they're so sugary.

SPEAKER_01 46:12

I get a regular cold brew sometimes.

SPEAKER_03 46:14

It's expensive. I took my kid, my kids last week when I was taking them to school in Brackettville, and we left early in the or no, I guess Monday they didn't have school, so they went with me to the office. And uh they're like, Can we please go through Starbucks? Please, please. They're gonna be bothering me at 10 o'clock because they're hungry or whatever. So I take them through there and I was like, you can each get a small drink. How many were there? I just had two.

SPEAKER_01 46:43

Okay, good.

SPEAKER_03 46:44

Yeah, each get a small drink, and then you can get like a you know, a sandwich or whatever, and I got a black coffee. And like when we went through there and they're like, Oh, thank you. I was like, Oh, thank you. I was like, I'm in a great mood now. I've spent $25 before 7 a.m. It's expensive, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 47:00

And the little sandwiches you could buy at like in Doll General for like a five dollars. You can buy like 12 of them.

SPEAKER_03 47:04

Yeah, and then the other then like on Thursday, I was feeling like a total fat boy, and I went through there and got me a coffee and a cheese Danish, $12. Just incinerated.

SPEAKER_01 47:14

It's expensive.

SPEAKER_03 47:15

You know, I got the lemon loaf. Oh, the like lemon pound cake. Shout out, pound cake. Shout out, pound cake. Is that your C B handle? This is pound cake. That's a good one. I don't have a C B lemon pound cake. You don't have a C B? No, you're not even a real trucker. No one has C Vs anymore. They all speak fucking hijab. What do they do? Use the cobra flutes to communicate or what?

SPEAKER_01 47:39

Maybe.

SPEAKER_03 47:40

Yeah, the CB of Mike's a cobra head.

unknown 47:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 47:44

Is that why all the Indians became truck drivers because of the Cobra CVs?

SPEAKER_01 47:49

Dude, it's perfect. The head and then the snake tail. We should make those. Well, yes. What about that woman? Uh I was on there earlier with the uh she's from the south, but she married an Indian. Oh, that's on my that's on my list. There's a guy like that in Midland. He was the doc. I went to a doctor one time, and he's like uh total Indian guy, and he had like a smoking hot like blonde wife.

SPEAKER_03 48:16

Oh why?

SPEAKER_01 48:18

Because he's a doctor.

SPEAKER_03 48:20

Oh, because he's a doctor.

SPEAKER_01 48:21

Yeah. And she had like a super nice car.

SPEAKER_03 48:24

She's probably just trying to get the script book because she's hooked on uh Xanax or something. No purchased. Yeah.

Instagram Rabbit Holes And Trail Danger

SPEAKER_03 48:32

Uh there's two idiots on Instagram that I found this week that I was going to recommend people checking out. One is this this white girl. I sent it to you, Peyton Patel. She goes, Hi y'all, it's Peyton, the white girl married to an Indian man. Let me join you for this week's adventure of me married to an Indian.

SPEAKER_01 48:59

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 48:59

Oh, okay. And like, this is like straight up some fucking girl from South Alabama who's married uh an H1B Indian. Yeah. And they seem like nice, clean people or whatever. And so I'm like, I'm I'm watching, I get stuck in the rabbit hole and I'm watching this this loud redneck bitch like, hi y'all, this is Peyton, the white girl married to an Indian man. Join us today on our adventure. And she's like, today I'm working with my husband. And she sounds just like that. That was probably the best impression I've ever made. And uh and Alex hears her, she goes, What are you watching? I go, I'm watching Peyton. She's a white girl married to an Indian man. And she's she's like, What is their job? I go, I'll give you three guesses. She just needs one a hotel. And I go, eh. She goes, convenience store.

SPEAKER_01 49:48

Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing.

SPEAKER_03 49:49

Yeah, so they own a convenience store. But so if you'll just go to Instagram and look at Peyton Patel, the white girl married to an Indian man, you'll be entertained for at least 45 seconds. Uh, and this guy looks happy as hell. But one day he's just gonna be like, I can't listen to this bitch one more minute. And he's gonna just get on a flight to India. And she's like, she's got like a ruby stuck in between her eyes. There's a video I sent it to. She's got one where she's wearing like the Indian dress, like the traditional, it's called a Lak Nora or some shit like that. And she's got a ruby stuck between her eyes. She goes, the reason I'm doing this is because we love our India family so much, but they can't be here with us. So we post our daily lives so that they could just be here living with us. And we love y'all, mama, people. Like it's insane.

SPEAKER_00 50:44

Hey, it's in the afternoon together. We gotta make some muffins for my customers tomorrow. Tomorrow's the last I need a job I've been at since I was seven to me. It's not perfect. Um we're gonna be a couple working at our local gas station together.

SPEAKER_03 51:11

Oh my god. You found one, but there's like 20 on there like, hi y'all, this is Peyton, the white girl married to an Indian man. Like it's my name is Nick. Yeah, my name is like this fucker hit the the lottery. Uh so at least they get along. Okay, so that so there's that one. Go check that out. It's it's it's entertaining. And then if you want to know who the next dead white girl is gonna be, that's gonna be national news, go to Instagram and it's K-A-M-R-Y-N-35 Cameron.

SPEAKER_01 51:50

Cameron?

SPEAKER_03 51:50

Cameron35.

SPEAKER_01 51:52

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03 51:52

And it's literally Oh, yeah. You sent me this. I'm like, why is this lady this like white yoga instructor, like almost model hot girl wearing a leotard who's carrying a backpack who's hiking from Canada or from Mexico to Canada. She's just out on the trail hiking and broadcasting it all. And it's just a matter of time before.

SPEAKER_01 52:15

She's like in her underwear the whole time.

SPEAKER_03 52:17

She's like literally in her underwear, and it's just a matter of time before some creep is murdering her on the trail. And I hope that's not true, but you heard it here first if it if and when it happens. Cameron 35 with a K. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 52:31

And a Y.

SPEAKER_03 52:32

K-A-M-R-Y-N 35 is the Instagram handle. And uh, she's just out here doing hot girl shit by herself on the trail. And not only that, she goes, and I stayed, I came into town for provisions, and I got picked up by a trail angel. For those of y'all that don't know, a trail angel is someone who helps people hiking on the trail, and he picked me up at the Walmart and drove me 35 miles out to the trail, and she's like just riding with a stranger. She's like, he was kind of different, and it got a little awkward, but ultimately appreciate the trail angels out there. And I was like, This this bitch is just brushing up against death. These people are nuts. Yeah. Camera 35. Yeah, she will disappear, she will be in someone's dungeon and gone.

SPEAKER_01 53:18

I've thought about it. There's like where you could do the trail from like Maine to uh Texarkana, I think.

SPEAKER_03 53:24

Yeah, the Appalachia.

SPEAKER_01 53:25

I want to try that one time.

SPEAKER_03 53:26

Dude, that would be awesome. You should do that. I'll sponsor you. I thought we were both gonna do it. Well, you you do it.

SPEAKER_01 53:32

You can follow me in your camper.

SPEAKER_03 53:34

Oh, that would be awesome. That would be great.

SPEAKER_01 53:36

And I'll just primitive primitive camp. And you can sleep in your camper.

SPEAKER_03 53:40

What if I followed you like on a horse and then I'll whip you when you get lazy?

SPEAKER_01 53:43

I can imagine you on a horse for that. Me neither. I hate horses.

SPEAKER_03 53:47

I get a camel.

SPEAKER_01 53:48

There you go.

SPEAKER_03 53:50

Feed me camel milk. Oh, God, that's funny. Why are deaf prices rising? What does death have to do with anything?

SPEAKER_01 53:58

It's just another scam. That's Obama's deal. I think he owns like some other. Just about to say something that interrupted my train of thought.

Phone Holsters And Ditching Smart Watches

SPEAKER_03 54:10

I'm thinking about getting a phone holster.

SPEAKER_01 54:14

My mechanic has one. He uses a but he's always on the ground.

SPEAKER_03 54:18

I have caught myself really admiring people who have a holster for their phone.

SPEAKER_01 54:25

Is it gonna be leather?

SPEAKER_03 54:27

Probably like two or three. I don't want one of those otter box deals. That's I don't want plastic. I don't want microplastics on my hip.

SPEAKER_01 54:33

His is like a little velcro one that doesn't close all the way. Yeah. And it falls out. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 54:38

I actually a guy gave me one.

SPEAKER_01 54:40

It's like one of those old wallets with the velcro.

SPEAKER_03 54:43

A guy gave me one. I think yeah. Who your dad? Shout out Jesus.

SPEAKER_01 54:47

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 54:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 54:48

Was it like have your initials on it? Uh it has some maybe it has a fighting cock on it. That's cool. I'm gonna start rocking that.

SPEAKER_01 54:55

Fighting cock.

SPEAKER_03 55:00

Yeah. So phone holsters, you kind of get to that point where you're like, you know what? On Friday night, I just want a dip cone at Dairy Queen. I just want to have my phone in a goddamn holster so I know where it is. I'm not checking my front pocket, my back pocket, my shirt pocket. Did I leave it somewhere? No, it's in its holster where it belongs.

SPEAKER_01 55:16

You don't have like a find my phone thing.

SPEAKER_03 55:18

If I if I don't have my phone, then I can't find it unless I get like an iPad. That's when you need an Apple Watch. Uh like a Jotito. A Jotito Watch. I hate Apple Watch. I had one for a while, and then I was like, this is fucking gay. I wore one for like three weeks.

SPEAKER_01 55:36

I never lost my phone.

SPEAKER_03 55:37

For like three weeks, I wore an Apple Watch and it kept telling me what to do. I was like, I don't let anybody tell me what to do. What did it tell you to do? Stand up, breathe.

SPEAKER_01 55:46

Oh, you can turn that off.

SPEAKER_03 55:47

Yeah. I did turn it off. Yeah. Rent in the trash.

SPEAKER_01 55:51

What is this 400-pound club?

SPEAKER_03 55:53

I was I wanna. That's what I I've been eating. I've been so hungry this week, and I was like, you know what? I'm gonna lean into this. I'm gonna join the 400 pound club.

SPEAKER_01 56:00

No, no, you'll be like, he said the same thing. I'm gonna be like you, bro. I weigh 292. Really? I weigh the same. You carry it poorly. Uh I think as I'm older. This is 10 years ago. I'm older. You gotta get that gut health down. I gotta start uh drinking some my um what's it the kombucha? Yeah, kombucha. Have you tried that?

SPEAKER_03 56:22

Um I've tried some that's awful, and I've tried some that's like it's not the worst thing I've ever it was like glitter in cumin.

SPEAKER_01 56:31

It tasted terrible. There might have been a tequila worm in there too.

SPEAKER_03 56:35

I I drank one one time and I was like, this is like if they carbonated Barney's piss because it was purple. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 56:43

I I think it it was like it was like hot but cold. I I I don't know. I'll never try it again.

SPEAKER_03 56:48

It's it's weird.

SPEAKER_01 56:49

And you can never tell if it's all if it's bad or good. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 56:51

What if that changes your life? What if that's all the difference between like blissful happiness and this?

SPEAKER_01 56:58

You'll never be happy.

Old Trucks Diesel Talk And DIY Fuel

SPEAKER_01 57:00

It's impossible to be happy. I pretty uh you're not happy now. You're not you're you're are you content?

SPEAKER_03 57:06

You know when I'm the yesterday I drove a 1994 three-quarter ton 2500 GMC with a 454. No, that brown one that you and I Oh that one, yeah. I drove it out to to Brackettville. And as soon as you hit double bridges, you can't get a radio signal. I mean, that's an old truck. If there's a radio signal to pick up, an old truck will pick them up. And there's just we're in radio deadland out here. When the Uvaldi local station really only hits the city limits. Once you're outside of the city limits, there is no radio.

SPEAKER_01 57:40

You might get the estates.

SPEAKER_03 57:42

And uh, and I just cruised in silence and I listened to the tell to the exhaust and the engine and the wind. The wind is up, ice cold AC. And you know what I was happy. What is it?

SPEAKER_01 57:55

H A P P Y. Does it have a carburetor?

SPEAKER_03 57:58

Um, I think that truck is electronic fuel injection because I think they went uh fuel injection all in like 90 90 or 92 or something.

SPEAKER_01 58:07

Oh, yeah, that's right. So yeah, well, you with this truck here, I was I was hauling ass. I went down hacienda, you hear that turbo go. It was nice, and it goes fast.

SPEAKER_03 58:20

It's a really nice truck. I got a I've got a humdinger of a truck if somebody's looking for a badass truck. How much do you want for?

SPEAKER_01 58:29

Oh can I just trade you my my F-150 for that?

SPEAKER_03 58:33

Probably.

SPEAKER_01 58:35

Probably diesel though. 550 a gallon. You can steal it out of your truck. That's true. You get a siphon. I know, but what about the new diesel? You have to use the the def. Is there something like missing from it?

SPEAKER_03 58:47

This truck has no death.

SPEAKER_01 58:48

I know, but like, is it gonna run the same or longer now that we need death? You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 58:54

I don't know what you mean.

SPEAKER_01 58:56

Like now all the diesel is made to have def used with it.

SPEAKER_03 59:00

Oh, I think I think we're going backwards. Oh. Uh, like so my old Dodges, which I'm an old Dodge guy, I got a handful of them. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 59:11

The good ones.

SPEAKER_03 59:12

Let me tell you what, you walk out there to those trucks and it sits for for a month or six weeks, and I hadn't started it. You put that key in there, you you don't even get the key turned the whole way, and that engine is running. It is ready to roll. It's Cummins fucking power. I love those. It's amazing.

SPEAKER_01 59:28

A six BT or whatever.

SPEAKER_03 59:30

And it ain't nothing for those engines to do a million miles. And I got you're just breaking them in at that point. I got I got one of them that's got 62,000 miles on it.

SPEAKER_01 59:40

Nice.

SPEAKER_03 59:40

I got one that's got 80,000 miles.

SPEAKER_01 59:43

It'll that'll last until they make it convert to all electric. It'll last my whole life.

SPEAKER_03 59:47

I'll be diesel power.

unknown 59:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 59:50

And I I watched some asshole on YouTube the other day make it his own diesel. Oh, yeah. I've seen that black guy. It really like was I don't know what he was doing, but I was like, I I could do that. I think it was like distilling oil. It was just like literally taking old motor oil and then he put it like in a distiller, like uh like you'd see out and like they're making whiskey. Yeah. And then he and then he was like that. I'm pretty sure those old dodges would run on that and love it.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:17

They would uh maybe not love it, but they would last a long time.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:21

Or maybe they'd love it.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:22

And I think the guy that we're talking about, like he has a switch where he starts it on regular diesel, and like that's how he fires it up, and then he flips a switch and it runs to that. Is it a black guy? I can't remember. I don't see color when I see diesel.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:38

Not even when the guy's making it in his backyard. I think it was a black guy. But he was he was pretty smart. Yeah. Oh, maybe he was running it on all like he he was running it, he was like melting down old plastic.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:49

Yeah, his name was like Booker Washington or something.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:51

Oh, Booker T Washington. Um China Black. I never see any black people. No, I've seen a bunch here down lately, but they're walking the streets. It kind of makes me sad. So you see a lot of homeless now.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:03

Apparently, Uvaldi's got uh we got a quite a few of the own unhomes. But I think it's because it's the warmer down here right now. It's the season.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:12

When that heat comes, they're out of here. Adios. Yeah. There was some girl getting her car worked on where I was getting work done, and she's like, What do people do here in the summer? It's so hot. Work. That's what we do.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:24

We work fucking sweat and work. She's like, that sounds terrible. I like it when it's hot like that. I'm like a lizard person. I love it. Are you? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:35

Lizard. That's right. I've I like I like working and I like complaining.

unknown 1:01:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:40

And eating breakfast and lunch.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:41

Someone said, Hey, are you a lizard person? I said, I am. So what kind of lizard? And I said, I'm a horny toad. I just made that joke up. I could tell.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:52

What else you got, but uh

Oregon Truck Culture And Overlanding

SPEAKER_01 1:01:54

let me see. There's a lot of old badass trucks in Oregon. There is Oregon. So I'm I know people. Because they take care of them out there. I know some guys from Oregon who love old trucks.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:04

Oregon is the epicenter of badass old mint condition, well-taken care of trucks. And when I when I say that, I'm talking three-quarter ton, pretty much all three-quarter ton four-wheel drive trucks, and most of them have a camper on them, and they are immaculate. And I think it's just because, like in that part of the world, the weather cooperates, and there's so many outdoor where you can just get into nature and you can go and use it rains, so you have a camper on your truck, and you literally just put a little mattress or blow-up mattress or a sleeping bag, and you can comfortably go spend a day or two or three a weekend.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:43

What do they call it?

SPEAKER_03 1:02:44

Outlanding or overlanding. Um there's another boondocking is another one that they call it. So boondocking sounds something like it's dirty, right? Right now, yeah, yeah. I was boondocking this whole girl.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:59

Oh my god. It sounds horrible. It does sound bad. I I think because all the guys I knew who lived in Oregon or at the Northwest, every everybody thinks that they're gay. Some are, but a lot who live like not quite as western as these guys live, they love trucks and like doing out stuff in the country and taking care of their stuff. And they have like shops and friends and groups and all that. I think that's a part of it.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:24

The mid the Midwest, like Iowa, Missouri, Nebraska, Kansas is similar to that, and people are taking parts of Ohio, taking care of their stuff, and they all have shops. The problem is is they it they can't really overcome the winter.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:40

And I'm guessing like Oregon, when you get into that Pacific Northwest, you don't get the accumulated snow like that. You get snow like you get like Lubbock or something like that. You get some snow, but it's gone.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:50

It's not like South Dakota.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:52

Yeah, it's not like that where you just rust stuff out.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:54

It is me, it might be a little damp, but it's not as cold.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:58

Yeah. Um, because you get some high quality stuff out of there. I picked up one the other day I'm really, really, really excited about.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:06

Which one?

SPEAKER_03 1:04:07

96K2500 with the 454 and the the transmission everybody loves the um 704? Uh 80. But maybe. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's a good one. The 4L80, yeah. Um drive, 31,000 miles on it. It's maroon and white and silver. It's a coyote I want to trade you now.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:36

Oh, coyote cruiser, baby. Um, one more thing.

Online Scams And Getting Chinglade

SPEAKER_01 1:04:41

These scams you get scammed online. I've been getting emails from people in like it says Craig Herndon sent you this picture. I'm like, what? Or it says like uh Brad Moore sent you this picture. Are you in a pedophile ring with Craig and Brad? No, but I think it's like they get like the the things off of uh Facebook and they'll send them to me and they want me to click on it. They never do.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:02

I've I get a lot of uh Nick Patel, you gotta go somewhere else AI emails that are just like scammy and I'm unsubscribing from all the time. I'm getting 50 text messages a day that are scam text messages, but now Apple's got that filter, so I don't even see them. They just go away. But I get I'm I get scammed online. I'll buy something most usually through Instagram. Like, oh shit, I'll buy that. And they make it so easy, like you just click here and it's like Apple Pay, you click here, and then you got it. What are you buying? I bought a deal yesterday. It was like a solar aerator that you would put like in a pond or something. I was like, dude, that's badass. I would like to put one of those in the pond. They're like, Oh, then they have a package, you can get three for like 75 bucks. And it shows the video, and it has this solar pond aerator, which is basically the size of a tire or a hubcap. So it's like 24 inches, and there someone's holding it. It's like that's awesome. Well, I buy it and then I like as soon as I buy it, I notice that what they sold me was the one that's six inches in diameter. The picture is 24 inches, but the one I bought was six inches. So now I've got $72 tied up and basically an aerator for a bird feeder.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:19

What does an aerator do?

SPEAKER_03 1:06:20

Just turns water. So it's like a disc.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:23

It's like a fountain?

SPEAKER_03 1:06:24

Yeah, it's a fountain. Oh. And it's a disc that floats around and on top it has solar powered, and on the bottom it basically just turns water and bubbles it up. It's like, oh, that's cool. I'll put one of those in the mini, though. Yeah, in the in the tank. What is it? But this isn't this is a mini.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:39

So yeah, you got fucked. You got chinglade. I got chinglade. I asked my mom about that. Is that a word, mom? No. That's a wet person word, Matthew.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:52

That's not true.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:53

Yes, it is.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:54

It might be Tex Mex.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:56

Okay. Yeah, maybe Tex Max. Yeah.

unknown 1:06:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:00

But like you said, are you do you want to get chinglade or not? I absolutely do not want to get it.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:04

Do not. You do not. So it is real. It is real.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:07

As far as Negapod goes, it's a real word.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:10

Yeah. Funny.

Town Life Updates And Closing Shoutouts

SPEAKER_03 1:07:12

What are we at episode 31 today? 3-1.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:17

Um, your wife might leave you, your kids might hate you, but we'll always be here.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:21

Yeah. Imagine if we went to the gym like we go to the podcast studio. God damn. Adonisis.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:27

We'd be gay.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:28

We would be.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:29

Maspustos. Isn't there a new gym? There's a new gym at that old Coca-Cola bottling plant.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:35

Dude, Uvaldi's got plenty of Mexican restaurants, plenty of churches, and plenty of gyms. And you know what else we got? Plenty of homeless people now.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:43

They probably got seven gyms in town.

unknown 1:07:46

Golly.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:46

23 Mexican restaurants and probably as many churches.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:51

Yeah. You ever go you ever see that Potter's house one? Oh, which one's that? It's everyone no Pel at the end of the street.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:56

Oh, yeah, Fifth Street. What the hell is that? I don't know. But they had a chingone uh uh for Halloween. There they had like a little party, haunted house deal or something at their church.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:08

I've seen them have like the tables out in front, like selling food.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:12

You think we'll ever get like a mosque? Um a Uveldi mosque. Maybe we might make a joke about that.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:19

Uh I'm putting you on the spot.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:21

You can do it.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:22

They could buy that old church on High Street.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:25

From you?

SPEAKER_03 1:08:25

Yeah. Oh no, you never bought that. I never bought that one. I bought a church in Hondo.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:29

I just think people Muslims would never live here. They just want to live in the cities. And like you seem like praying like in front of churches. What is that? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:36

I feel like if you came like over here from I don't know, like the Middle East, if you're a Middle East Muslim and you got to Belgium, you would just be like, I think I'll go back. I might go to Austin. Do you think we're gonna get uh like an actual Muslim community with like a Muslim worship center first or a Indian population with a like an Indian cultural center, like their own church or community center or something in UL?

SPEAKER_01 1:09:04

Oh, I think neither. Really? Yes. I don't think anyone like that would ever move here.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:10

I like my immigration plan though. We bring those fuckers over to Mexico and then filter them into Texas, yeah. I'm all for the mate gunos.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:22

I like they're nice, yeah. Yeah, are they though?

SPEAKER_03 1:09:26

They could be Spurs baddies.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:28

Oh, I wanted to be a Spurs baddie.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:31

What about marrying a Chinese lady?

SPEAKER_03 1:09:33

Why would you do that?

SPEAKER_01 1:09:34

I don't know. It's just weird. When I think about have like marrying someone out of my race, like if I have the son and it's like Chinese, I'm like, have a Chinese son? Yeah, it's kind of that's not gross or ugly. It's like it's just strange.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:49

Like if I had a black son, I'm like, well, I can't, I don't understand that that culture, that culture. Yeah, I'm not from that, so am I gonna be lacking in that department?

SPEAKER_03 1:09:58

Yeah, I think yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what you do.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:03

Just something to think about. What else you got, bud? Uh yeah, we're just sitting here shooting the shit.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:10

And so I feel like I kind of did that because like I think you know, I married a Jewish girl.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:16

He's not Jewish.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:17

Really?

SPEAKER_01 1:10:17

He's Polish.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:18

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:19

I think she said her great-grandmother was Jewish, which is probably a why. Yeah. Or maybe that she they threw in a camp because she had that Polish last name. She's a mason. They were just like, get the fuck in there, get in there.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:32

Get in there.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:33

No, my great-grandmother was fucking there. My great-grandmother was a pole.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:37

Really?

SPEAKER_03 1:10:38

Yeah. Shawinski.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:40

And you're Irish.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:41

Scotch Irish. It didn't pop up in my 20s. I did that 23andMe. It didn't pop up. Like my whole lineage. My whole lineage came from like I'm I'm Scotch Ger. Like it was like, you're from here, fucker. Like, there's like there's a whole world out there, and like everything about you is from right here.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:01

It's from like Germany or something.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:02

Yeah. Um I was 99.9% like as white as you can be of a white person.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:10

I bet your dad saw that sign in in uh Lemisa said McNew, and he's like, that's my name. That's my name, McNew.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:15

No, those they're German immigrants. And according to family lore, they were like the um custom. Back then, you were either you couldn't the at the time, like you weren't really a farmer landowner, and like had the bandwidth to also have tractors. And so they weren't really a sharecropper? They were they were the people that went out, they had the first tractors in the panhandle. Oh. And then they would come do custom harvesting, is what their that's your lineage.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:49

That was my lineage, yeah. Interesting.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:51

On that side, on the other side was just boxing alcoholics.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:55

My own I come from a long line of cavemen. I like that. Oh, yeah. Lived in the cave.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:00

That's where everyone's like, I'm this.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:02

Oh, yeah, your people have been shitting off bridges for before they even call bridges.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:05

Yeah, I felt that's why I was so comfortable with it. Yeah. No, but like everyone's like, I'm Irish, I'm Scottish, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, I'm a cave, I'm a caveman. I like that. That's where I come from. I like that. So there you go. How about that?

SPEAKER_03 1:12:18

There you go.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:19

What else you know, buddy? Baxter. We never hear from him anymore.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:24

Oh, dude. Did you hear about him? What? He's left he left town.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:30

What do you mean? Like for good?

SPEAKER_03 1:12:32

Yeah, he's he's straight up like his they had a baby, and then he started getting all these jobs out of town, and he just disappeared.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:39

He's you think he's Steve Senior?

SPEAKER_03 1:12:41

Yeah, see, that's what I think. He's got a little bit of old papy in him.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:44

Oh, he's out of town. I didn't know that.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:46

Yeah, he's Moob. He's up in Moob.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:48

Getting another family together.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:49

Yeah, he's just hanging out in old uh RV parks drinking natural lights and talking about fences. Just living the light. Rubbing his mustache, eating a fried burrito out of a sack.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:01

You know what's funny? Like, he has this Uvaldi accent, but he grew up in Austin.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:05

Is explain that, Baxter.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:09

He might be, dude. How the fuck does he have a Uvaldi accent when he's from Austin?

SPEAKER_03 1:13:14

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:15

Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:15

I I don't think anyone from Austin really knows how to build a fence. Baxter can build any kind of fence. Baxter, too. Yeah, maybe. You think this place is haunted? It might be haunted.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:27

Did you hear that?

SPEAKER_03 1:13:28

There was a lady here when this was a salon and she died in that machine. Like she was sucking her hair and it sucked the life out of her. Just sucked her whole body in? Yeah, sucked her whole body in. She died.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:40

Wait, where and where did this happen? Right there?

SPEAKER_03 1:13:41

Right where you're sitting. Oh shit. Yeah, next to that power outlet. You know how many breakfast tacos were consumed in this building? You think a lot?

SPEAKER_01 1:13:48

Dude. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:50

The haircut ladies eat a lot of breakfast tacos?

SPEAKER_01 1:13:52

I'm sure they do.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:53

I'm sure they do.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:55

You never go to the great clips though, do you?

SPEAKER_03 1:13:58

Um, I do every now and then. You do?

SPEAKER_01 1:14:00

I like it there.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:01

And a pinch. I do.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:06

What else, buddy?

SPEAKER_03 1:14:07

But I think that's uh episode 31. How long have we done?

SPEAKER_01 1:14:10

Let's think of one just give me one crazy thought before you leave.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:14

One crazy thought. Um one crazy thought.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:22

Mine was the Baxter not being from evaluated.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:28

I'm trying to think. Something in her. What if the Fiesta Bakery was just like a cover-up for like a communist insurgents? Yes. Do you ever go in there? It's been a while. I've never, I think I've ever been. And like every now and then I'll go to a gathering and there'll be a box of pastries and it has like a fiesta bakery sticker on it. I was like, how did you find them open? What what do you know? Are you fucking socializing?

SPEAKER_01 1:15:00

They're open on the weekends, I think, aren't they? My mom's used to them by the day to get a bunch of pierras.

unknown 1:15:06

Damn.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:06

Is she gonna get church's chicken?

SPEAKER_01 1:15:08

Wait, pierras or pierras? Yeah, pierras. Huh?

SPEAKER_03 1:15:12

Church's chicken?

SPEAKER_01 1:15:13

Is that next door?

SPEAKER_03 1:15:14

It is.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:15

I thought they moved. What about that live oak restaurant? Remember that?

SPEAKER_03 1:15:19

I do.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:19

I never went in. I never liked it. Didn't they have like some weird like rat fucking empanada or something?

SPEAKER_03 1:15:25

Yeah, that was the guy who and the guy who owned it looked like Splinter.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:30

He did.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:31

Yeah. Yeah. He used to creep me out.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:37

Alright, well, that's number 31, hour 15.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:40

Hour 15, look at us. Look at us, old consistent.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:44

Alright, well, shout out to Ziggy's Texter Me once again. Doing the Lord's work out there and wherever.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:50

Shout out.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:51

Uh shout out Ruby's. Um, we're gonna go in there one day.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:55

And um did they put our sticker in Ruby's? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:59

I don't know where big sticker.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:00

Yeah, McNuman had some big stickers. Um, I'm gonna get bumper stickers made. Viejas locas. What do you think? Shout out, shout out. Um, and they said also Ruby said we could do a live podcast.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:13

So the uh the Carlotte office is going to become officially open in May, normal business hours. You could be able to just stop in here and pick you up a sticker. You just come in and somebody will be working here and you say, hey, I'm just here for an Egg Pod sticker.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:29

Well I meant one per customer, one per customer, one per stop in.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:34

This place is on it, dude. I love it.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:36

And like you bump, we'll have the bumper stickers by then too. We'll slap them on the back of the car something like that. Take off.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:41

That's right. All right. Come see us at Old G Motors for the best deals. Feels like a steal.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:47

Imagine uh, what's that guy's name? The one in the um the radio guy?

SPEAKER_03 1:16:51

Craig Anderson.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:52

No, no one here in Uvalde. Paul Harvey. Yeah, no, in Uvalde. Robert Miguel. The guy of fucking, he was here for years. Um Paul, not Paul Harvey, tall skinny guy. Wade Carpenter? Imagine if he was still around and he'd shouted out the car.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:05

I saw Wade Carpenter last night.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:07

What if he was still around doing the show on on the KY or whatever, and he shouted out the car a lot? Oh man, that would be awesome. And then he went right into like um uh John Anderson song.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:21

I'm hoping that on the uh next episode of um Best of Yvaldi, they have a best podcast. Oh yeah. Who runs that? Do you know? Uh, I think it's MJ Miller. I don't know. Come on, MJ. Give us best podcast or worst podcast. I don't care.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:41

Remember the you podcast? I do. Jesse. He likes our show. He's a fan.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:46

I saw him the other day on his birthday.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:48

I was having lunch at uh uh Carter. Desse Carter.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:52

Yeah, he's a good dude. I hadn't seen him in a while. I ran into him on his birthday. I said, Hey, happy birthday. He said, I'm enjoying the podcast. I said we ought to have you on sometime. He said, I'd love that. He said, I've been thinking about going negative. I said, I don't know if you're a negative guy, but we'd love to have you on. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:10

That'd be fun. I don't know who he is.

unknown 1:18:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:12

All right. Well, that's it for the NegPod episode 31 in the books. We can see you. See y'all later. See ya.