34: Go Inside For The Blizzard

A missing front license plate turns into a full-blown roadside philosophy session when a trooper plays games on the highway, pulls us over, and we decide we’re done pretending that every petty stop is “worth everyone’s time.” That story becomes the backbone of a wider conversation about modern stress: public safety scares, small-town rumor cycles, and how fast your normal errands can get derailed when Walmart gets locked down over a shooter threat.

We also keep it local and loud, shouting out the people and places that keep our corner of South Texas running, including River City Bail Bonds, Ruby’s Lounge, Sapphire Wings, and Diamond Cut Masonry. Along the way we argue about the stuff everyone argues about but rarely says out loud: why phone customers shouldn’t jump the line, why ordering black coffee at Starbucks feels harder than ordering a dessert potion, and why driving slower can actually save real money when gas prices are brutal.

Then we go full Negpod with people watching, Whataburger characters, internet rabbit holes, fishing shirts, and defending catfish like it’s a civic duty. We wrap with small-town politics and community updates, plus weekend plans and sponsor love.

If you like funny, blunt, small-town Texas storytelling with real-life details, subscribe, share this with a friend, and leave a review so more people can find us.

Transcript

Banter, Weight, And Sweet Tea

SPEAKER_01 0:01

And we're back. What's up, Ming Nu? What up? Episode 34. Negpod 34. It always puts a smile on my face to get in here. It does. It does.

SPEAKER_00 0:12

It's good. It does. And we're a couple of, I feel like we're becoming a couple of pros. I think you think so? Yeah. People keep telling me that we need cameras, but look, now I got the security camera, so I wonder if we can use that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:25

No, we could uh well didn't you say some guy wanted to help us with that? I don't know if we want to get into it.

SPEAKER_00 0:30

Shout out, Gabe. Gabe, give us a hand. Give us a video. I wonder what you do you want to do video? I don't know. It sounds kind of personal, doesn't it? Yeah, and put it on the YouTube.

SPEAKER_01 0:41

I like you know what I like about ours? I like simplicity. Like we can just we just people just listen to it. People need to watch everything.

SPEAKER_00 0:48

Right. No, they don't. Right. I'm I'm afraid they we won't be able to find a uh camera wide enough for both of us.

SPEAKER_01 0:58

No, I weigh 290 today.

SPEAKER_00 1:00

Is that good or bad? That's good.

SPEAKER_01 1:01

I haven't weighed this much uh 290 in like eight years.

SPEAKER_00 1:05

What are you down from like 313?

SPEAKER_01 1:07

My heaviest was like 356. On the lake! Whoa, dude. It was heavy on my heart.

SPEAKER_00 1:15

I've eaten everything in sight this week.

SPEAKER_01 1:17

I I but lately I just stopped. I only eat one thing for breakfast. I only have like a taco or this morning I had a McDonald's uh uh steak, egg and cheese angle.

SPEAKER_00 1:29

I bet that's like 1200 calories. Six ten. It was good though.

SPEAKER_01 1:36

Then they gave me a sweet tea instead of unsweet. I drank about three uh one did drink the whole thing, but I had about uh a uh third of it and I threw the rest out the window. Just so syrupy. It was dude, it was bad.

SPEAKER_00 1:48

How do people drink that every fucking day? Uh they do, and they love it. Yeah, dude. They love it. I like just a little, little, little splash of sweet tea. I guess it's unsweet. I like it, but the best treat is like if you put this unsweet all the way like up to here and then just put a little floater of sweet on there. Just put a little sweet. Just a little hint.

SPEAKER_01 2:10

A little taste. Well, who has that peppermint sweetness?

SPEAKER_00 2:14

Oh, it's that that tea plate down here is a sweet tea shot. It's like the construction worker that goes to work that just puts one little like shot of whiskey in his big thermos of coffee.

SPEAKER_01 2:23

Like Stevie Ravon used to put a little cocaine in his coffee. He's a little bit. And then like it like ruptured his fucking stomach after like 12 years. Idiot.

SPEAKER_00 2:33

Shout out, Stevie Ravon.

Sponsors And Local Business Shoutouts

SPEAKER_00 2:34

Let me give a shout out to our newest sponsor and put some cowed hard cash in my hand on Thursday night. Shout out to River City Bail Bonds. Cowled Hard Cash. They can help you anywhere in the state of Texas. Home office, San Antonio, Texas, satellite office, Adascosa, Sagine, Wilson counties, and uh a bunch of affiliated branches all the way up to the panhandle, DFW area, all the way into East Texas. You get in a pinch, give all the boys at River City Bail Bonds a call. Family business. Oh, they put money in your pocket. I saw the guy and he he tapped his pocket and he reached in there. He pulled out some 20s. He had four 20s and he handed it to me. He goes, I'd like to be a sponsor on the podcast.

SPEAKER_02 3:16

Are you fucking kidding?

SPEAKER_00 3:17

I said, Bro, you're River City. I said, You're in, bro. And uh where's my kind? I bought some more uh some more stickers. Oh, okay, good. Yeah, yeah. Shout out River City. Who owns uh the my buddy Clay. Okay. San Antonio. His family, his his family's been in the bail bond business for for decades. God imagine all the people he bailed out. Bro, I bet he's got some great stories. The people the people who burn out like in the streets and they fucking arrest him. He's there. There is a guy uh in San Antonio. It was in remember the guy in the news that killed his wife and they hadn't found the body yet, but he's in Yeah, that white guy? Uh yeah, that white guy. And so we were we were joking with him. We were like, Hey, did you bail out uh what's his name? He goes, Man, that guy's family didn't want to help him bail. And it was kind of like he was like, I was kind of hoping I was gonna get that one, you know. It was pretty close to home. And then he joked and he was like, Yeah, my wife was like, Please don't bail him out. Please don't because you know, because all the things like in their neighborhood, and then he made a funniest face. He was like, Yeah, like what like you totally would have bailed him out. That's funny.

SPEAKER_01 4:24

That was funny.

SPEAKER_00 4:26

Yeah, his wife's like, please don't bail him out. And he was like, Well, they hadn't shown up with the money yet, but no promises. What was that guy's name? Did they ever find that line? Oh, Bradson. Did they ever find her? They hadn't found her. Oh shit. She's with Jamie Hoffa. She did a barbecue with Jamie Hoffa. Shout out. I hope you I hope you're found soon.

SPEAKER_01 4:43

So uh shout out to uh uh Ziggy's Taxidermy, our original sponsor of the OG.

SPEAKER_00 4:49

Um and our reverse sponsor, Ruby's Lounge.

SPEAKER_01 4:52

Yeah, uh, I wanted to call I wanted to call Victoria have her come today, but today's Mother's Day. Today's Mother's Day. Victoria, if you're listening, maybe next week. I don't know, or whenever the next time we can do it, you can come on and make your case. The next pod.

SPEAKER_00 5:05

Yeah. And uh well, go ahead. I was thinking if Victoria wins, we should do uh we should get a TV show.

SPEAKER_01 5:14

How well would be on it?

SPEAKER_00 5:16

Like Judge Judy.

SPEAKER_01 5:17

Oh, okay. I thought you meant like a reality show type deal. Yeah, yeah, like a j like a Judge Judy kind of like a Judge Judy but reality. I thought we'd do like a documentary on like up and coming Judge.

SPEAKER_00 5:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:30

That'd be kind of cool.

SPEAKER_00 5:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:31

What would you call it? I don't that's your department. What do you mean? Like you come up with all the good names. All the good names. Uh we didn't think about that one. Yeah. Uh shout out Ruby's Lounge. Um remember Sapphire Wings? They're actually a food truck in front of Ruby's. I got it. I was completely wrong. Completely wrong. They're in front of Ruby's, they're not out in the 83 uh South. I hear they're gonna be available on DoorDash soon. Yeah, available on DoorDash. Um, he's also opening a bargain secondhand store. I don't know when. And uh also he owns or he runs that diamond cut masonry. Uh he does free estimates, concrete anything, rock stone repair, rock wall, artistic stone design, chimneys, and outdoor barbecue setups. Give him a call at uh fuck, I don't have the number. But it's uh diamond cut masonry, really? Yeah, so Ruby's Lounge, Sapphire Wings, Diamond Cut. Get it. Maybe that guy's on meth.

SPEAKER_00 6:35

He's got he's getting a lot of stuff done. But he's productive, man. He works in the oil field. Um how the f oh yeah, maybe he's not on meth though. He's on something, he's on something. He's getting it done. If you're just sitting on your ass listening to Ox and I tell you how the cow ate the cabbage and you don't have a J-O V. How the fuck don't you have a Job?

SPEAKER_01 6:54

He makes me feel like a piece of shit. Telling you. Shout out to Renee. Oh, in Dakota, too. Yeah. Renee Dakota.

SPEAKER_00 7:02

Um, what's up, dude?

Louisiana Trip And Dentist Horror Stories

SPEAKER_01 7:04

I just got back from Louisiana. How was it? It was terrible. I hate those people out there.

SPEAKER_00 7:09

Did you get any good snacks?

SPEAKER_01 7:10

Uh no. Uh I went to Popeye's chicken. It was disgusting. Really? The food was good. But the like your feet stick to the floor. It was terrible. And everyone there was arguing. They're like arguing, you dumb motherfucker, stupid bitch. And like there's like customers or workers? They're workers. And there's like a like white family's like in there out of a T-ball, like sitting there like eating.

SPEAKER_02 7:32

They're like cussing at each other.

SPEAKER_01 7:34

But then I look across the street and there's like a drive-thru Cajun, like seafood place. I'm like, why didn't y'all just go there? Yeah. Because the kids want to go to fucking Popeye's. Probably the dad.

SPEAKER_00 7:44

Oh, yeah, the dad too. He was eating, dude. He was eating. He'd probably just been like dealing with some bullshit all day. He's like, I'm going here.

SPEAKER_01 7:50

Yeah, and when I left, it was a free-for-all. They didn't have anything ready.

SPEAKER_00 7:54

I know it's Mother's Day. Shout out, mothers. But I feel like it's been Mother's Day weekend. Boy. I just like I just love celebrating it so much. I've just been going since like Thursday, I think. What were you doing in San Antonio? Uh I had a pal, I had a powwow there Thursday night, and I had another one on Friday. I went to the dentist. What's wrong with your tooth? Little sweep? I had a I had a chingao break in my mouth, but then it broke again and I ripped it out.

SPEAKER_01 8:20

Are you chewing on a piece of gravel, bud?

SPEAKER_00 8:22

Yes, yeah. My old gizzard. Oh fuck, dude. I bet that hurt. Were you in pain? No. I was just in like annoyance.

SPEAKER_01 8:32

I had my tooth like rotted out and I was in so much pain. Um I started crying. And my ex-girlfriend, I think she like lost respect for me. I couldn't help it, dude. I was like, I was like, I cannot help it. It was so bad.

SPEAKER_00 8:47

What would you do? Just stick some bazooka bubble gum in your crevice in your tooth?

SPEAKER_01 8:52

I just went to bed like in tears. And then I woke up and my face was swollen up by fucking balloon. So and then the doctor said I almost had a heart attack.

SPEAKER_00 9:02

So what a shout out that doctor? What's up with the big boom in your valley that everyone was talking about? Do you hear the big boom? What boom? You hear the pincha boom? There was a bunch of there was a bunch of pincha comments about it on the Facebook. I I didn't hear it. I wasn't here. I didn't, or I was oblivious to it. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 9:24

I didn't, I I saw it on Facebook, and everyone was talking about it.

SPEAKER_00 9:27

Yeah, there was like a guy who hadn't posted anything on Facebook since June of 2012, and he was like, Did anybody hear that boom? And then it had 77 comments on it. What is that? A boomer heard a boom.

SPEAKER_01 9:42

It was probably a fucking sonic boom from an airplane or something. Oh, yeah. Like shooting rockets off to Iraq or over Iran.

SPEAKER_00 9:49

Oh, Chip King had an answer. He's got an answer for about everything. I don't know if it's always right, but I will give him credit. It's like he's got a pretty good answer for most of it. And it was something to do with uh some military training for some kind of plane from the base over there in Del Rio.

SPEAKER_01 10:02

Guarantee is what it was.

SPEAKER_00 10:03

But there was everything from aliens to I farted in the comments.

SPEAKER_01 10:08

A lot of farting.

SPEAKER_00 10:14

The big boom. And then what else last week? You and I, uh, after we did the podcast, we tried to go over to the fun. It was fun. Uh I heard about it. Um, about how much fun we had. Everyone was jealous. Who? Oh, my wife was jealous how much fun we were having.

SPEAKER_01 10:36

Was she really? Yeah. Well, she was welcome to come along.

SPEAKER_00 10:38

Yeah, that's that's I said. I thought she was busy. You can't beat them, join them. So uh what about the the damn? We tried to go to the Walmart last week.

Walmart Threat And Dairy Queen Strategy

SPEAKER_00 10:49

You couldn't even get in that rascal. They had her shut down.

SPEAKER_01 10:51

If you're listening to this and you're and you're uh threatening the shooters at Walmart, just fucking quit. It is not fucking worth it. Don't do it. It's stupid. I'm trying to get a cutting wheel and fucking there's an active shooter threat. It's bullshit, dude. Why do we keep getting all this?

SPEAKER_00 11:09

We're we're just we we we're getting a lot of drama down here.

SPEAKER_01 11:13

A lot of drama.

SPEAKER_00 11:14

Do you think other towns get this much bullshit going on? Uh no, because they're like big cities. And like for now until the end of time, we can never like have peace. Well, we have to take every threat 110% credibility. Yeah, like even if a guy calls in and it's like Mickey Mouse animatronics making a threat, we gotta take that as serious as anything.

SPEAKER_01 11:41

Yeah, because the cops are like they're like, it's just a joke, and then something happens, you're like, uh, I'm going to fucking jail.

SPEAKER_00 11:47

Yeah, yeah. And like we gotta, we, we gotta it's just a it's a very like as citizens, like we're all gonna going to trying to go to Walmart on Sunday, going, oh fuck this. Then what is this bullshit? Like, well, tell them what happened. We pull up what happened. We pull up, and they've DPS has all of the exits blocked at Walmart, and they're and people are leaving, but you can't get in. And then the Uvaldi EMS and the fire department and some law enforcement are all staged like down the road. Yeah. And so I I'm assuming that then the sweeping or the canvassing of Walmart was being done by the DPS, because that's all I saw. Yeah, it's probably DPS. Uh, unless unless they let Uvaldi police go up there first in case, you know.

SPEAKER_01 12:37

In case of what?

SPEAKER_00 12:38

In case they needed somebody to blame. Oh, okay. Yeah, you know, unless some shit happened in there, like, but I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 12:45

I don't know. Um, it was a ton of DPS. Uh Baxter and all this crew are parked at ace. And we pull up and asked him what's going on. He kind of didn't know, but kind of gave us the lowdown. Kind of gave us the scoop.

SPEAKER_00 12:57

And we went to Dairy Queen instead. We went to Dairy Queen. Uh Ox was hanging out with me and a couple of my kids, and they were making fun of us, and they called us their gay dads.

SPEAKER_01 13:08

She sure did. That one uh girl, uh, she really gave it to us.

SPEAKER_00 13:12

She did. She was roasting us. We got cooked, as the kids say.

SPEAKER_01 13:16

I think as I made I made a gay joke, and then she like just was off, like kicked her off. Like, I'm gonna I'm gonna get y'all respect though. Yeah, yeah. Well, I don't think the you're proud of her, but I'm like, I don't know if these gay people like they don't need your help to defend them. They all run the government, basically. I think I think the time to protect them is over because they're coming for us. They're coming for us, which is fine. I mean, they're it's their time, their turn now, I guess.

SPEAKER_00 13:44

Yeah, everyone's worried about AI. Wait till you get a hold of gay. Oh, no mamas.

SPEAKER_01 13:56

Um do you know any gay people? Yeah, I do. I know a few two, and they're fine.

SPEAKER_00 14:02

They are.

SPEAKER_01 14:03

They don't have any kids though. I mean, what are you gonna do without?

SPEAKER_00 14:06

Well, you can invite them somewhere because they don't bring their family. That's true.

SPEAKER_01 14:09

The people were like the Muslims are gonna take over because all the gays aren't having kids. Like, those kids are gonna be gay.

SPEAKER_00 14:15

The problem is the gay Muslims are having kids. That's the problem.

SPEAKER_01 14:18

Oh, they force them to do it? Yeah, they force them to do it. What would this what would you value be like as a Muslim town? It'd be insane, dude.

SPEAKER_00 14:27

Um, I mean we would just like the goats are already here, all we gotta do is cook them.

SPEAKER_01 14:34

Oh, they can go the other way.

SPEAKER_00 14:36

Oh no, people have been doing that to goats here for a long time.

SPEAKER_01 14:42

That's an old pastime. Remember somebody in high school they used to that was a big old uh uh controversy. Not controversy, but like um they used to say this guy used to do that. Yeah, yeah. I don't think he did. I know a few guys that have done that. Really? Yeah, that's gross. Yeah, they did that, but when you're younger, it's different.

SPEAKER_00 14:59

It's just different. I guess that's still kind of weird. Beestiality. I've I think like there is a time in like country living where like somebody, something like that really would happen. No one just made this up, but like somebody would get caught screwing a farm animal, and they just like, oh well, you know, these boys will be boys, and I guess they're just like you know, horny kids running around the farm, and they defended kids. And they defended this, and the and like people just like they accepted it. They let it go. And nowadays, like if you caught if if somebody caught their their kid screwing a farm animal, they'd probably go to the psychologist. It would be a big deal.

SPEAKER_01 15:42

Well, yeah, it'd be on Facebook. There's like a video I saw of some black kid. Uh he was in front of his fridge and he's trying to stick a cucumber in his ass, and his mom was like, Go to your dad's house, go to your dad's house. She caught him. Oh, kids will be kids.

SPEAKER_00 16:00

Um that's what I'm concerned about. All these kids nowadays, like everything's on the internet, everything they do is in video format, it's all under a microscope. Like ever but they have no privacy, and they're not concerned about it at all. And a lot of them like will they just have their locations completely available all the time.

SPEAKER_01 16:24

Yeah, they're they'll be like, I'll share my location with whoever. Yeah. Is uh, but they're thinking they think they're trying to be safe, but that's kind of weird, like they're spying on you most.

SPEAKER_00 16:33

And the rest of us are idiots too. Like, just because we turn it off so I can't see where you're at, like it's very obvious that anybody in the government who wanted to see where we are can find us in the same time it would take to dial our phone number.

SPEAKER_01 16:46

But I think most people are like, what are they gonna do? What am I doing? I'm not doing anything wrong. What's fine? What's wrong with that?

SPEAKER_00 16:51

I'm I gave my DNA to the 23andMe. What yeah, come get me. Shannon Tawana. Tawana. Tawana get too. We need to find her, dude. I do. Tawana get her on the podcast.

SPEAKER_01 17:02

Imagine if she came down from Atlanta, Georgia, where she lives.

SPEAKER_00 17:06

I think she said Tulsa. Oh, Tulsa? Yeah, she was one of the survivors of that uh that fucking what's it called?

SPEAKER_01 17:13

The Blackwall Street?

SPEAKER_00 17:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:15

When was that in the 20s? I think so. She might have been. Maybe your dad's grandpa was.

SPEAKER_00 17:22

I know that's how I know she's related to me because she was so hard-headed that even though they popped them on the noggin, they said we're not leaving, we're staying. She's still there. I heard Tulsa is like a very liberal town. Is it? Well, they let Sylvester Stallone become the king there. Oh yeah. That's pretty liberal. It's pretty liberal.

SPEAKER_01 17:43

But I still think I think they voted for Trump anyway.

SPEAKER_00 17:46

Oh yeah. So how liberal are you? I mean, there's just not a whole lot of people I know out there that are like, let's vote for the annoying black lady. Like literally, like even anyone, period. I don't care what you are, like what your politics are, if you're what you're how you feel about people or diversity, just when it comes, when it's just you and that pencil and that voting booth, it's just real hard to vote for the annoying black lady.

SPEAKER_01 18:15

I can't do it. I wish I could.

SPEAKER_00 18:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:17

I can't wish I could turn my own. No.

SPEAKER_00 18:23

I think if they would have run that one guy with the must with the lipstick and the and the dominatrix suit, like dressed him up like a cat, he might have won. He might have beat Trump. He might have gotten my vote. If he would have his furry tail on wearing latex with lipstick on and a Gomer Pyle haircut, that son of a bitch might have won.

SPEAKER_01 18:43

They should have just been like, We're going this way, full tilt. Turn the wheels around, we're going that way. A lot of people have been like, I respect it. Maybe we'll try it. Yeah, maybe we'll try it. Maybe we'll try it. Yeah, my gas wouldn't be five dollars a gallon. Fine, dude, it's expensive. What is Trump doing? Dude, it's so expensive. It was $3.98 when I filled up in uh in Hondo this morning. $125 that you fill up.

SPEAKER_00 19:06

Shout out Hellcat until you go to Hellcat and around. That's $100. Like you can you can burn $100 worth of gas just running around. Well, not uh to San Antonio back? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:19

No way. That's crazy. Yeah. That'll last me like two and a half trips. My pickup.

SPEAKER_00 19:24

I mean, I can do there and back and back. Probably. If I don't drive like an asshole. But I will tell you one thing about that car. Almost impossible not to drive like an asshole. It turns you into an asshole. It's a it's a what like maybe time travel isn't real, but get in a Hellcat and you will travel into Assholeville and become the mayor. It's the one of the only things that'll change your personality as soon as you hit that throttle.

Trooper Games And Roadside Etiquette

SPEAKER_00 19:51

I got pulled over. It's weird. I got pulled over the other day. You told me about that. And I had a uh I had a real like old man moment on the side of the road with the with the trooper.

SPEAKER_01 20:03

Did you get out? No. You should have. I want that. I want you to do that.

SPEAKER_00 20:09

There's a video of me being wildly fucking annoyed with the state trooper somewhere from this past week. Was he making? Uh he was. Okay, good. Uh he was. And so I was traveling east. And uh I passed a trooper. I'm actually going like 75, 77. I'm not I'm not speeding or anything, and I'm I'm just uh right at like kind of Kanippa, like either before or right after.

SPEAKER_01 20:41

I get pulled over there sometimes.

SPEAKER_00 20:42

And the I wasn't in Kanippa, I was like on one side of it or the other. Yeah, yeah. And I see the trooper like start slowing down and keep slowing down and keep slowing down and keep slowing down, and finally like he turns around and I don't really see him. I couldn't tell if he turned or whatever. Like five minutes later, here he comes, like 140 miles an hour, like right up my ass. And so I like I move over to the to the slow lane, and he moves over and like ride on my ass, like an asshole. No. Then he like give him the finger. Then he goes around me and gets in front of me, passes me, and then slows down to like 15 miles an hour. So then I gotta come back around and go around him and pass him. And then I get in front of him and I go for like another two, three miles, and then right as I'm getting into Sabin Alley turns his lights. He's just playing games at this moment. I'm fucking pissed. I'm I'm I'm pissed off by this time. And so I pull over and he literally takes two minutes to get out of the car. I'm just sitting there and he's sitting in his car. And uh he comes up and he's like, The reason uh I pulled you over today is said you don't have a front license plate. I said, Okay. Word and then he said something. I said, Okay. He was like, Can I see the your license and your insurance? Said okay. And he started asking me a question. I said, I don't really feel like I'm talking about it or visiting with you. He said, Excuse me. But he was like, Yes. Yeah. I was like, no, I was like, I'm I'm I'm pretty annoyed.

SPEAKER_01 22:22

You let him you let him know.

SPEAKER_00 22:23

Yeah, and he said, Excuse me. I said, I I'm pretty annoyed. I said, I don't really care to visit about it. I said, I I need to get this license plate deal corrected because this is not worth my time. And I promise you, it's not worth your time. I don't think that you signed up in law enforcement to pull over upstanding citizens for front license plates. And he goes, Well, sir, I have no idea who you are when I come up here. And I said, Well, that's not true because you can run my license plate and you know a lot more than nothing when you get up here. And he started telling me something. I said, I'm not going to debate it on the side of the road with you. I said, I just know that this isn't worth your time and it's I promise you it's not worth mine.

SPEAKER_01 23:01

I love it.

SPEAKER_00 23:01

And he started telling me something else, and I said, I'll tell you, I'll give you some advice. Go hunt elephants and leave people like me alone.

SPEAKER_02 23:09

He loved you.

SPEAKER_00 23:10

He did not love me, but I got my warning and I went on. And then I did apologize. I said, I did. I I told him, I said, I've I want to apologize because I've if I'm rude, I don't want to be. I said, but I am annoyed. I said, but I am a hundred percent serious that this is a waste of your time and it's a waste of mine.

SPEAKER_01 23:28

And he knew that.

SPEAKER_00 23:29

And he knew that. He couldn't argue with me.

SPEAKER_01 23:31

He knows that now when he's sitting on his ass in his fucking couch.

SPEAKER_00 23:34

But it was just like I got I became very I became very annoyed, but like not as like a deranged crazy person, like screaming at the you know, you see those videos where people are screaming at the troopers.

SPEAKER_01 23:45

You're being very short with them. Yeah, yeah.

unknown 23:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:47

I my first question to pull me over is like, can I bribe you?

SPEAKER_00 23:51

And they're like, Well I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 23:52

I'm kidding. Give me a fucking ticket.

SPEAKER_00 23:54

So I'm probably gonna get pulled over every day or or yeah, probably every time I drive now.

SPEAKER_01 24:01

No, no, no. They'll let you go. So you have your license plate in the front?

SPEAKER_00 24:05

I have it in my in the trunk of my car.

SPEAKER_01 24:08

Well, you want to put that on?

SPEAKER_00 24:10

I'm thinking about it. Okay. I'm thinking about it. I'm always nice to everyone because I don't care anymore about anything. Yeah. I feel like an asshole. Like, I didn't want to be like rude to this guy because I don't like dislike police or like anything. But the whole like running up my the whole like running up my ass and then getting in front of me and pumping the brakes, like it was like an intimidation deal. Yeah, he's like, I'm well, I guess what I'm not intimidated.

SPEAKER_01 24:33

You're trying to make you scared.

SPEAKER_00 24:34

Yeah, or like fucking Billy Big Dick, the highway patrol. Like, listen, Junior Brown, like we're fucking wasting our time.

SPEAKER_01 24:41

Sometimes they are like that, but then I'm I put myself in their shoes. I'm like, man, they deal with some fucking cocksuckers.

SPEAKER_00 24:47

They deal with some assholes. Plus, they really don't know what they're getting into when they pull someone over. Like, what's in this car? Like, what are they dealing with?

SPEAKER_01 24:54

They don't know if their name's gonna end up on the side of a highway. Yeah, because somebody fucking blasted them, and that happens. Yeah. Um, I don't care. But they pull me out.

SPEAKER_00 25:05

I get pulled over all the time. I'm like, whatever. Yeah, you never know if they're gonna like be in the middle of some terrible situation and then say it's all the U valley police officers' fault. I mean, you just don't know. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:17

Some cop some DBS pulled me over one time in Kanippa, and I was going 57 in a 50, 56, maybe. He was a young dude, young, young, young. And he was like, he had his hand on his gun, and I was like wearing my gym shorts and driving a dollar general truck. And I'm like, dude, I'm like, how fast? 56? I'm like, are you gonna let me go? He's like, you know, like well, you drinking last night, blah blah blah. I was like, no, dude. I was like, my fucking girlfriend works right now across the dream. Like, are you from here? He's like, I'm from here, and we and he he like let me go the morning room. Like, so do you when did you when did you graduate? He's like, Well, I didn't graduate from here. I'm like, Oh, so you're not from here? Uh not not really. I'm like, then why did you lie to me, you fucking bastard?

SPEAKER_00 26:02

Bro, there is a fucking issue with people. I I've catch someone all the time that lying that they're from U Valde. He's lying. I run into people, they're like, Oh, I'm from, and I'll ask them something. I go, Well, you know, I'm I'm from uh Waco. Yeah, or well, I work there. Like, why are people always wanting like to be from here? Like, and I will never be one to give you like any grace.

SPEAKER_01 26:29

Like, we just accepted the fact that Baxter's from Uvaldi, maybe I haven't even expected He's out with he's on the fence with you after he what he pulled the other day. Oh, yeah. I don't know. I'm not gonna take that lip from an Austinite Flugerville, dude. Might as well be from Nigeria. Should I have Baxter?

SPEAKER_00 26:51

Uh I I will say, in my whole history of DPS officers, I've met more cool ones like that were just doing their gig.

SPEAKER_01 27:01

You had some hungover ones that fucking give me a ticket.

SPEAKER_00 27:04

But yeah, there's everyone's cool. I've been stopped by a couple of the of younger ladies before. Really? That were kind of uh last time I got stopped by a lady, it was two ladies in a car.

SPEAKER_01 27:15

Hold on, hold on, wait. Did you get a ticket? I'm gonna say no. I didn't. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 27:20

Keep going. And uh I probably should have got one. Yeah. But it was during the Operation Lone Star, and I think they were really just looking for wet haulers or whatever, you know. Or drunks, or drunks, or drunks, and uh, I might have been one of those. Uh, but I wasn't hauling any illegals, anyways. They were they were just like checked the deal out, like asked some questions, used some common sense, let me go. Um anyways, this other guy just like annoyed me, like the Mad Maxim on the side of the road. I'm still I'm still pissed off.

SPEAKER_02 27:49

Are you so mad?

SPEAKER_01 27:50

We've been talking about it for two minutes. This is good, dude. No, but I've noticed that women cops, I every time I've given been pulled over by a women cop at least five or six times, they've always let me go. And there was a woman I'm dating, not the last one, another one. Uh she told me about her running with a women cop. I'm like, she gave you a ticket, didn't she? She's like, Yeah. I'm like, women hate other women. But they'll let the men go. They will. Shout out, women cops. Yeah. But Mexican men always give me cups, I mean give me tickets. Why guys always give me warnings? That's weird.

SPEAKER_00 28:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:24

I don't know. So that that really uh got you going, didn't it? Yeah, I would say I'm annoyed again right now. Yes, I knew you'd have been all quiet. I'm like, it's best. Uh if you were wearing your cowboy hat, didn't you hit your dealer plates? He would have been like, oh, I know this guy's kind of a big deal. So let me alone. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 28:45

So but uh alternatively, Alex made a good point. She was like, I bet you've just been driving this car away too fast everywhere, and like they've heard about it, and like you're probably on the list. Oh my god, she went that far with it. She did go that far, and like I don't think we live in some surveillance state where this showkeepers are talking about. I like that better.

SPEAKER_01 29:10

Yeah, people do

Shopping Local Realities And Gas Math

SPEAKER_01 29:11

that all the time. Is you value gonna get a harbor freight? No, but I want I think we have said our next thing. We should have a Harbor Freight, they'd be perfect right here, wouldn't they? I went today, it was packed with full people.

SPEAKER_00 29:22

It's a hobby lobby for men, you say. Don't you think? I think that's a great way to describe it. When's the last time you went? I haven't been to a Harbor Freight in 10 years. They have so much shit.

SPEAKER_01 29:32

I was there this morning, I was like, dude, they have so much shit.

SPEAKER_00 29:34

I used to love in the Matador days going to Harbor Freight. Oh, the best. The best.

SPEAKER_01 29:39

And I went to Northern Tool after a little more expensive, but it's it's cool too. Yeah, you can get a lot of stuff, Northern Tool.

SPEAKER_00 29:47

So Harbor Freight's open on Sunday, they're open every day. Like everybody's always like, shop local, this and that. I agree. I try to shop local, but in this, like I was look like today. If you drive through town, like you want to shop local, guess where you can go? Walmart. Or tractor supply.

SPEAKER_01 30:04

I love tractor supply.

SPEAKER_00 30:05

Or O'Reilly's.

SPEAKER_01 30:06

Yeah. O'Reilly's you can go at the five o'clock in the morning on a Sunday, they'll be open. Really? Yes. What no? Uh what time is it open? At like five or six. No, maybe seven. Wow. But they and they're up until like ten. I love har I love O'Reilly's. Yeah. We we went last and got a we got your battery. Didn't I tell you you'd probably get one for free? Yeah. And they exchanged it.

SPEAKER_00 30:29

Like I was so impressed with with Harbor Freight. You mean O'Reilly's like mo or uh O'Reilly's, yes. Most of the time you go somewhere and you give somebody like a little bit of power or authority, and they treat it like it's their. Oh, yeah. Like they were just kind of like assholes or whatever. We went into O'Reilly's ox and I, and I had a battery, and I was like, I'm pretty sure that we bought this year because we buy all our stuff at O'Reilly's. Yeah. And I was like, and the battery is not working. Not one time did they test the battery. They took our word for it. And then they looked it up and they go, Well, I don't find the right deal in the computer, but it says you did buy it from us. And she goes, Let me ask the guy. And he she asked, like, a guy that was the manager or senior level or whatever. And he goes, Just type it in there and just keep pressing the button, see what happens. And they scanned it. He stood there and she pressed a button and she goes, All right, we can give you a free one. And like the next thing you know, I was signing like a fake piece of paper and leaving with a brand new battery.

SPEAKER_01 31:33

Well, right at the door with a brand new battery. Out the door with a battery. With a $180 battery.

SPEAKER_00 31:38

I think it was more than that. I think it was a $220 battery. It was just like boom, boom, back to your room.

SPEAKER_01 31:44

And they send that old motherfucker to India where they chop it up and send it right back.

SPEAKER_00 31:49

I think so.

SPEAKER_01 31:50

That's probably what they're doing. But yeah, shout out to Riley's.

SPEAKER_00 31:54

Like, if you get on an airplane, they're like, excuse me, sir, do you have uh any batteries in your leg? You can't have batteries in your luggage, or don't put your phone chargers, battery chargers in the above compartment. But right now, there's like some goddamn ship sailing across the ocean with 400,000 batteries, batteries right there next to them. It's just leaking acid everywhere. There's some little man smoking a cigarette barefooted. There's more water.

SPEAKER_01 32:21

Can you imagine? Like, like if you look out in Texas, like you're driving and you see all that land, there's three times more water out in the oceans. That's I can't wrap my mind around that.

SPEAKER_00 32:31

I was bored yesterday in a church service and I was trying to make up. I said, Well, I wish I had a penny for every strand of hair on the earth. And I said, I wonder if I would have more money if I had a penny for every strand of hair or a penny for every milliliter of water. What I think I'd have a more for the milliliter of water. No, I was just bored in church, just talking to God. I mean myself.

SPEAKER_01 32:56

So God, so so do you think he'd have more the milliliter? You'd have more with the water. Yeah, you'd have more with the water.

SPEAKER_00 33:02

But I would be happy with a penny for everyone. Well, anybody would.

SPEAKER_01 33:06

God, what a weird thought. I had a thought today, driving back. I'm like, if I if I go 80 from San Antonio Uvalde, how much time would I uh how much gas would I save if I went 70? And I was like, let me do chat GPT. So I did that. And you would save four gallons on the trip, which turned which is like what $16? Yeah. That's pretty good. It's pretty good. So I went 70 the whole way back.

SPEAKER_00 33:30

It's pretty good. You could buy yourself lunch. Yeah, you could. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:35

But I like going fast though.

SPEAKER_00 33:37

Going fast.

SPEAKER_01 33:38

That Hellcat, baby. Right. You need a radar. I don't know how you don't have a radar detector.

SPEAKER_00 33:43

Dude.

SPEAKER_01 33:44

Mine works like a fucking top.

SPEAKER_00 33:46

Imagine how hard that cop would have got if I would have just gased that son of a bitch.

SPEAKER_01 33:50

Ran him over.

SPEAKER_00 33:50

And just like giving him giving him a chase. Like giving him something to do. You would be out of jail that night. They would have you would have gotten bailed out. I feel like I could have just whipped him for like five miles and then been like, oh, I didn't see you. Oh yeah. Pulled over.

SPEAKER_01 34:05

Like he probably wouldn't have, he would have been like, they do this all the time.

SPEAKER_00 34:08

Like I wait till he hits the sirens or something. But when he did pull up, I had an urge when he pulled up beside me just to let that hoggy just run his ass off.

SPEAKER_01 34:20

How old are you? 43? Yeah. Should have done it. Yeah. You gotta do it once in your life.

SPEAKER_00 34:24

Put me in there.

SPEAKER_01 34:26

I get to see my dad again. We were in from the cops.

unknown 34:30

No.

SPEAKER_01 34:30

Uh I'd be too scared to do that. Yeah. People do do it though, and they get back, they get out of jail.

SPEAKER_00 34:35

I might do it in a Hellcat. I'm never gonna do it on foot. Not ever. Never.

SPEAKER_01 34:39

Hell no, it's not worth it.

SPEAKER_00 34:40

Not worth it. The only thing worse than running would be being tackled. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:48

That's true.

SPEAKER_00 34:49

Out of breath and then hurting on the ground while some sweaty cops on top of you that's chubbing while they're handcuffing you.

SPEAKER_01 34:57

Imagine this feeling is khaki on your neck. Oh yeah. Oh god.

SPEAKER_02 35:00

Your knee. Like, that's my hog. Oh god.

SPEAKER_01 35:05

Wait, do you who how many people do you know have bells palsy? Uh I just have as you know me, I had it.

SPEAKER_00 35:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 35:14

What else do you know?

SPEAKER_00 35:15

I I want to just like you know those little shovels that you clean out fire places with? If I see someone with bell palsy, I just want to slap them in the other side of the face with one of those. Oh my god, why? To see if it'll fix it. Like there's no explanation. So maybe I'm maybe it works. Well, mine was uh my um what happened?

SPEAKER_01 35:36

Someone in my head. I had an ear infection and then it spread, and then it like fucking took out my face.

SPEAKER_00 35:42

I feel like there's there could be like a really good funny movie, like in the uh uh Smoky in the Yellow, that uh Chinaman, someone gets pulled over and they got Bill Posse and the cop that's uh he's a real asshole, and he knows like, you better wipe that smirk off your face there, punk.

SPEAKER_01 36:02

You don't you don't smirk you're like frowning extra on one side, you're not smirking. It doesn't go up, right?

SPEAKER_00 36:10

But the cops hauled Twek. So that's funny, dude. Yeah, doing it that way. Uh I will tell you one thing that pissed me off last week when you and I, when we took the kids to Dairy Queen. What's that? The goddamn drive-thru line was all the way out into the highway 90. People were swerving to miss cars hanging out. You couldn't even get in there. We pulled up, parked in a parking spot, walked right up to the front of the line.

SPEAKER_01 36:38

We were there was one person and he he was done, and they walked and we walked up.

SPEAKER_00 36:42

We we walked in, we were eating our ice cream, and people were still not in line to order yet.

SPEAKER_01 36:48

I didn't know this, but I was like, uh, when you pulled in, you're like, you're gonna cut in front of all these people. I'm like, I think, I think it'll be the same because they're gonna get these orders out. But yeah, I was wrong, you're right. Well, they just gave us our food.

SPEAKER_00 36:59

Yeah, they just gave us our food.

SPEAKER_01 37:01

I'm gonna start doing that. Go inside. Yeah, you gotta go inside. Yeah, live a little. Shout out. Shout out. That's another like one of our little stickers. Like, go inside, enjoy yourself, treat yourself, especially a place like DQ. People don't want people want to eat on the run, I think.

SPEAKER_00 37:17

No, dude. That's what that's what's wrong with this country is everybody just wants to just be lazy in their car. Like they're you just want to sit there, they're sitting there burning four dollars and thirty-nine cents worth of gas and taking three times as much time. Yeah, that's all true.

SPEAKER_01 37:36

Hang on, keep talking. I'm gonna check uh Dairy Queen, see if there's a line right now.

SPEAKER_00 37:39

Go look, go look, shout out. Old G Motors, 2309, East Highway 90. You can stick your head out the front door and see the line at Dairy Queen. Shout out. Um, he really is up there, just salivating at the line at Dairy Queen. No line? Oh, there's a line. Oh, all the Mother's Dayers. Everyone's going to get their mama blizzard. Get your mama blizzard.

SPEAKER_01 38:08

Go get your mama blizzard. Hey, cabron.

SPEAKER_00 38:10

Cabron, get off the car and go inside. You know, there's someone like, go get your mama blizzard. Oh, you know it.

SPEAKER_01 38:18

What are you eating for dinner tonight, bud?

SPEAKER_00 38:19

Oh, I'm gonna make a little Mother's Day steak.

SPEAKER_01 38:22

That's good. I think I'm gonna go get uh nachos. My favorite's the nachos from the Guerradero.

SPEAKER_00 38:28

Really? They have good nachos?

SPEAKER_01 38:30

The super nachos, dude? It's like as big as it's like this big.

SPEAKER_00 38:33

You gonna buy your parents dinner or what? My parents went out of town. Nice. They went to San Antonio's for Mother's Day.

SPEAKER_01 38:38

What are they doing? Um my mom wanted to go see that new Michael Jackson movie. Nice. And my he's gonna take my nephew and my sister, and then they're gonna go eat oh, Texas Roadhouse. What a treat. What a treat. I like that Texas Roadhouse. I do too. There's an article of how they can um I guess everyone's wondering how they could serve a 60 or they can uh sell a $16 steak now that everyone the prices are up.

SPEAKER_00 39:04

I didn't read it, but I've I've watched something on it, and they're like the guy was like, We've got some adjustments coming. Like we're we're we're holding off as long as we can.

SPEAKER_01 39:14

Oh, is that what it is?

SPEAKER_00 39:15

Yeah, but the but they sell a lot of sirloins, you know, and they're just and they're fucking busy, dude. Buying power. They are busy, and it's funny, like going to the one in Del Rio is cheaper than going to the one in San Antonio. I believe it. And the most expensive one you can go to, which is damn good, is uh going to one like in Midland. Oh, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:36

So and they got so many people, yeah, so many people, especially right now with the oil prices, they're going gangbusters, gangbusters. Yeah, Jordan Phelps is making it like a band up.

SPEAKER_00 39:46

Shout out, Jordan. Oh this is interesting. So you feel like uh a business will prioritize the phone customer.

SPEAKER_01 39:58

Don't you think?

SPEAKER_00 39:59

I hate it when a phone customer gets precedent.

SPEAKER_01 40:02

Aren't you? I knew you were gonna empathize with this.

SPEAKER_00 40:04

Yes. When you're sitting there, you're talking and they rings like, hang on, and they answer like, oh uh, yeah, but like the old day in Taco Way when you would go into the original Taco Way and you'd be standing there ever waiting in line and be like, here, I'm I'm here to get a taco, and you're talking to them, and then they just put their hand in your face and they answer the phone. Taco way! And then they write, some guy orders everything and they put his order in front of yours. He just cut in front of you from the estates. Yes, dude. I hate that.

SPEAKER_01 40:32

I hate that they do that all the time at other places I see.

SPEAKER_00 40:35

Shout out if you have a business, get some other asshole to answer the phone in the back. Yeah, just so the customer don't have to see that.

SPEAKER_01 40:41

Or just like or hit the the silent and be like, they're gonna call back.

SPEAKER_00 40:45

They do that at O'Reilly's too, huh?

SPEAKER_01 40:47

Uh, I I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 40:49

I think they do do that. I hate that.

Phones, Starbucks, And Service Frustrations

SPEAKER_00 40:51

You know, another thing that pisses me off, why is black coffee the hardest thing to get inside of Starbucks?

SPEAKER_01 40:57

Why is it hard? I would just you don't want to be a big thing.

SPEAKER_00 40:59

Because they're so busy making goddamn Harry Potter potions. If you order something that's just simple, no one does it.

SPEAKER_01 41:06

It throws them off.

SPEAKER_00 41:07

It throws them off. Every time I go inside with my family, I if I can order a give me a pink nipple frap and they'll make it, and you'll it'll be in your hand. If you order a black coffee, you'll have to go up there after you get all your shit and say, You forgot my black coffee. And then everybody stares, like looks around like brain-dead flamingos, and finally someone gets you your and then they give it to you in such a rust they don't even put the the koozie on there. Really? Coffee koozie.

SPEAKER_01 41:35

It makes sense what you're saying. I was at the one in Blanca and 410 uh Shadow, and uh I already drink. I waited for 20 minutes, and I was like, I went up, I'm like, I hate to be rude, but did y'all make my drink? And they all looked at each other like that Spider-Man meme.

SPEAKER_00 41:49

They all look at each other like that. Oh, makes me want to suicide bomb that shit.

SPEAKER_01 41:54

And then they're like, Oh, so and they made it in two seconds and gave it to me. I'm like, okay, thanks.

SPEAKER_00 41:57

Yeah, and like those people are working hard, they're doing a lot of shit. I bet at the end of the day, they get a lot of steps. What how many steps does a worker get at Starbucks? About 11,000. Oh, I think that would be a good guess.

SPEAKER_01 42:12

Yes. I see some overweight people in there, but they're working hard.

SPEAKER_00 42:16

Yeah. Usually the overweight people are just uh trans men that are just really big.

SPEAKER_01 42:24

I do see a lot of trans mentioned.

SPEAKER_00 42:25

I see a lot of trans men baristas.

SPEAKER_01 42:27

There's a trans men uh works at that uh that one Hondo. And I was like, all right, is this a woman? I couldn't tell. I'm like, yeah, it's probably a dude. It was nice though, I guess. That's a beast of a barista, hey. Burbista. I was like, look at that stubble. Oh yeah, you're a shanner.

SPEAKER_00 42:47

That's probably kind of hard to be uh a trans Whataburger person because you have to get up like to be there. I'm not Whataburger, a trans Starbucks. You have to be there at five, you're like, oh shit, I didn't wake up in time to shave. And so by the time you're getting off at like three o'clock, you've got that full Homer Simpson beard going. I don't know, dude.

SPEAKER_01 43:07

I think they like that. They're like, I just want to freak everyone out with my beard.

SPEAKER_00 43:10

Yeah. Oof. I had a what a life. I had a wait, uh, a wait waiter the other day that was that was a female but had that beard, that stubble going on, and the most soft-spoken, and I wasn't trying to be moo rude, but it was would you like some would you like some water? But it was like it's something that they'd been practicing, and I was like, I can't, I can't hear you.

SPEAKER_01 43:35

Wait, it was a woman though? Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 43:38

Yeah. Don't don't put me on the spot. It was Pat. And um Pat.

SPEAKER_01 43:45

That used to be a joke, now it's for real.

SPEAKER_00 43:47

It used to be a joke.

SPEAKER_01 43:48

Oh God. There are some women that would stubble, and I think they just have their hormone imbalance. So shout out to those women.

SPEAKER_00 43:57

Uh I'll tell you what.

SPEAKER_01 44:00

Happiness is involved Whataburger?

SPEAKER_00 44:03

Yeah. Go ahead. You want to know?

SPEAKER_01 44:07

Yeah. Oh really.

SPEAKER_00 44:08

I'm kinda skipping. I'm kinda skipping ahead.

SPEAKER_01 44:10

No, go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 44:12

I'll come back.

SPEAKER_01 44:13

No, just say it.

Whataburger Characters And People Watching

SPEAKER_00 44:15

The other day I went to Whataburger. I got in and I pulled up there at like 10 46 in the morning.

SPEAKER_01 44:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:23

And I walked in just before breakfast was done. And I ordered a breakfast burger by myself with a hot coffee. And the and the cashier lady. She was like, she was real disproportionate, but in like a hot way. She had a mustache, but not beard stubble, but a mustache. But she was a real petite frame, and she just has this gargantuan cans and the greatest attitude. Like she had a mustache? Yeah, just like a little mustache.

SPEAKER_01 45:01

Like a trans?

SPEAKER_00 45:02

No. Okay. No, just like uh just a little hormone imbalance. Yeah, yeah. Like remember the girls in school, like if they sat in front of you and you would look because their shirt would go up and they would have more hair on their back than like you had on your whole teenage body. Shouldn't have the raccoon women. Uh she kind of had that, but she is so friendly, and she was just like, did you know Mia Khalifa was discovered at a water burger in uh El Paso? No, but I believe it. She was working the drive-thru and some pimp just picked her up and flew her to Miami and made her screw everybody in town and put it on the internet. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 45:39

Really?

SPEAKER_00 45:39

El Paso. Archie only did porn for a month. That's what I heard. And she got a lot of content.

SPEAKER_01 45:45

We're talking about that.

SPEAKER_00 45:46

She's working hard. Is she from Texas?

SPEAKER_03 45:50

She's from Texas. I can tell by the way.

SPEAKER_01 45:55

She did porn for him. I thought Mia Khalifa was the name of that building out in Dubai. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Or no, that's the Wiz Khalifa. No, no, no. The Biz Khalifa. I don't know, whatever. I can stupid.

SPEAKER_00 46:12

But I'll just What were you talking about? Shout out Whataburger Breakfast right before 11. I it I basically ate a really early lunch, but I got watered off the breakfast menu and I got that burger again, and I added jalapenos and onions. And that little girl, she was just like real friendly and kind. Yeah, and she had them canoramas, and it was just shout out, you valley water burger.

SPEAKER_01 46:33

I saw a lady rapping to a brand too that it looked just like that. What the hell was on my shirt? Some cocaine. What was uh do you have powder or something? No, I don't know. Um, dude, this lady had a BBL and she was bent over when I walked in. And her ass was like two beach balls stuck together.

SPEAKER_00 46:52

Damn.

SPEAKER_01 46:53

I was like, what the fuck is going on? It was. I mean, it's like a it's like Is it real? No, no, no, it couldn't have been. It was permanent. Manufactured, yeah. I was like, you're gonna walk around like that? How do you sit in your fucking car seat? Who does that to themselves? I don't know. And that's for other men. Is that for women or for men?

SPEAKER_00 47:09

It ain't for me, pal.

SPEAKER_01 47:11

No, I was kind of like put off by it. Yeah, I wanted to fight her, if I want to be honest. No, I didn't. But yeah, it was huge, it was just like that. Man, that's crazy. But um, yeah, and then I saw another woman, she had her tits out, like basically. I think it was in Streetport. To be noticed, yeah. Why do they do that? I like a little modesty, a little modesty, yeah, yeah. Whatever happened to that.

SPEAKER_00 47:38

I do like it when they dress like that, but they're like somewhere they shouldn't be, like at church or like meet the parents at a school or something like that. And they dress like a hooker, yeah. You like that? Yeah, well, it's just entertaining because like especially like where a bunch of a bunch of modest women are, and then there's like one woman that's not, that's always a good time.

SPEAKER_01 47:57

You know, the women are pissed, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 47:59

They are fucking there, they're not liking her. No one ever comes to that girl's rescue.

SPEAKER_01 48:04

Like, meaning a fucking hooker.

SPEAKER_00 48:07

What about people who look for work on Facebook?

SPEAKER_01 48:09

Dude, have you seen this? I guarantee you've seen it. I just got my CDL. Are there any jobs available? It's like what?

SPEAKER_00 48:16

I don't actually believe I've I look for people on Facebook that we're hiring or whatever, but when I see someone that just like randomly posts like that, like and a lot of the times, like what you said is just like the best version of it. Yeah, a lot of the versions are like this horrible story of like everything's gone wrong, and I'm I need to get need a job. You see those? No, I just see the CDL one.

SPEAKER_01 48:43

No, what are the ones that uh there have a horrible story?

SPEAKER_00 48:46

Uh I just got out of the hospital and I can't have rent and I gotta buy diapers. Is anybody hiring?

SPEAKER_01 48:55

I think they're just like fishing for engagement. Maybe they're not looking for they just want some sympathizers. You think that's what it is?

SPEAKER_00 49:01

I think so.

SPEAKER_01 49:01

But yeah, people who look for jobs on Facebook, it's like just go look for a go go do something. Yeah. Or maybe they don't have a car. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 49:10

I don't know. Yeah, dude, I hate that. Tell me about this joint in Victoria you're kind of hot on.

SPEAKER_01 49:17

Oh, Moo Moo, I was gonna um shout out uh Martine Pitts. These people and they were fighting like cats and dogs. The workers? Yes, they were fighting. It was like a full-blown fight. And but I and the gizzards ordered, I took about 25 minutes to get them. But they were so good. It was the best gizzards I ever had. Is it a sit-down place? It was like an old school, like diner-esque kind of place. You order at the window, or someone take your order? You can have a no, I walked in, but it was uh drive a drive-thru. Um, it was like an old school place. The gizzards were not even that hot, but they were still fucking good. That's how good it is.

SPEAKER_00 49:55

Like basically, it just took them 25 minutes to decide if they were gonna bring you food. Basically, like everything was ready back there.

SPEAKER_01 50:00

And there are two people in line who were pissed off that they hadn't gotten their food yet. Um, but yeah, shout out Moo Moo, uh, chicken and hamburgers. I don't know. Yeah, Martin Pitts, let me know if you know. I'm guaranteed it's like an old part of Victoria. It was good. I like Victoria. Victoria's a weird little name.

SPEAKER_00 50:16

I think uh Martine's grandparents started that place.

SPEAKER_01 50:18

Why'd you say that?

SPEAKER_00 50:20

Uh my cousin Tawana told me.

SPEAKER_01 50:22

Oh, did he? Yeah. You could tell it was like an old black joint, and now it's all immigrants working there. Oh it was good though, but the prices. I looked on Google and the price, it was like $3 for a large gizzard, and I was like, oh, it's pretty cheap. And then I went there, it was like $11.99 from like 10 years ago.

SPEAKER_00 50:40

I went to this Mexican restaurant this morning, and I go there quite a bit in San Antonio. It's on Parambital, the north side of 410. Yeah. And they have a little panteria in there, but it's a Mexican restaurant. When I say little panderia, it just basically has like a one case of pastries. And I don't they probably don't even make them there. Someone probably just brings them in and you know they buy them and resell them or something.

SPEAKER_01 51:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 51:03

But I got one of those Mexican like sweet potato pastries. Do you know what I'm talking about? No. It's basically like they look it up. They skin, uh they skin a sweet potato. Uh-huh. Mexicans.

SPEAKER_01 51:17

We're we're not we're not in a hurry.

SPEAKER_00 51:18

We're just gonna No, we're not in a hurry. They skin a sweet potato, and uh it's like an empanada, but it doesn't have any bread. And then they like put sugar on it and cook it so like the sugar becomes the skin, but it's just a sweet, it's like a skinless sweet potato that now has a sugar skin. I've never heard of this, and it's molded into a shape, and you get it, and it's all sticky, and you bite it. What? And it tastes like baby food. Oh god, and you you like it?

SPEAKER_01 51:45

I kind of did. Oh god. China Fiesta Bakery. They I never go there. Um it's fucking good. I love Fiesta Bakery in ULV. You never go there though. Where do you how do you get it? Your mom? Uh yeah, my mom gets it. But I did go the other day and I had bought a bunch of shit.

SPEAKER_00 52:04

It was good. It's called Empanada de Camote. Empanadas Camote's a traditional sweet potato candy from Puebla, often rolled into logs and flavored with vanilla or fruit. I don't know if this had vanilla in it, but how do you smell it? How do you smell it? C-A-M-O-T-E-Camote. Oh, they're like little empanadas. But it's but there's no bread. No. Oh, that's weird. Yeah. It does look good though. Yeah. It's like a yam. It's literally like a yam.

SPEAKER_01 52:35

That's odd. It's pretty good. Shout out, Camote. Uh, did you see a live oak had a new sign? I think they're gonna open again. Live oak, the yeah. Those two squirrels are back. Or somebody buy it. I think somebody bought it, but yeah, they put a brand new sign there. Really? Yeah. I've I never I never went when it was open. So I want to try it one.

SPEAKER_00 52:53

Like the first time I heard that fairy, that fairy tale of the three little pigs, I was like, this is bullshit. And then I went to Live Oak and I was like, I think I could blow this place down.

SPEAKER_02 53:02

Dude, they had a like poster board holding that motherfucker up.

SPEAKER_00 53:05

It was just stapled together. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 53:09

But Shannon, I think they're gonna open. They had a brand new sign out. There you go.

SPEAKER_00 53:14

Give us a scoop if you know what's going on with the live oak.

SPEAKER_01 53:17

The live oak. Yeah, you only send us some messages. Uh I know people listen. I think the last time I looked, we had like 11,000 listens. That's a lot, dude. That's a lot. Shit.

Drag Shows, Culture Talk, And Jokes

SPEAKER_01 53:29

What about the drag shows? Oh, just I'll see. I'm looking, they're doing drag shows at high schools now or whatever in middle school. Really? It sounds so boring. If you made if my mom made me go to a drag show, I would be so bored.

SPEAKER_00 53:41

Oh, like if you got made to go like to support others.

SPEAKER_01 53:44

Like I'm like, why am I watching this? This is so boring.

SPEAKER_00 53:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 53:48

I'd rather go to church. Yeah. Just go to church. You think uh drag shows? I think women love drag queens because it's like blackface for men. What now say that again because I think I agree. Women like drag shows because it's like blackface for men or for women, they're pretending to be women and they're being silly, and they're like, I like how silly that man's being.

SPEAKER_00 54:16

But blackface is wildly offensive.

SPEAKER_01 54:19

The term or the acting. Oh well, yeah. But I think I think them pretending to be a woman is it's like the reverse Uno card.

SPEAKER_00 54:28

Do you think people would be so? All right, I got I got an idea.

SPEAKER_02 54:32

Oh, yes.

SPEAKER_00 54:33

We go to a drag show and we dress in drag and blackface. Oh my god. But like I'll we'll both go as Aunt Jemima. I think people would be like, this is awesome. Could we turn them on us? Like on a like Lola Lota, how are you draggers doing?

unknown 54:53

Draggers.

SPEAKER_00 54:56

We got a show for you. Dude, I brought some yam. Anybody want some Komotas?

SPEAKER_01 55:02

I think that's I think that's what they're doing. What if I went in there as like an old Mexican grandmother? Oh I think they it's like blackface. I think that's what they're those women are doing.

SPEAKER_00 55:14

Dude, shout out that one Pixar movie, Coco. That was a good movie about the Wela.

SPEAKER_01 55:18

Oh, was it good?

SPEAKER_00 55:18

It was good.

SPEAKER_01 55:19

When did that come out? Like 20 years ago? Nah, like five, four, five years ago. Your kids were like, Coco. Coco. Coco. There's a guy in New Valley named Coco. He went to school with him. Uh shout out to Jorge. I think his name was Jorge. There we go. There we go. Check Coco. Jorge. Jorge. Um, I forgot his last name. He loved wrestling. I used to do a song about him. I like made a song about it. Everyone in the class would laugh their ass off, and he would just be so mad. I saw him a couple weeks ago. You did? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 55:52

I hadn't seen him in forever. I bet he's working in the I think it was he went to the army.

SPEAKER_01 55:57

I mean, he's been out a while from the army, but have you noticed how all these people in the army are like in government now? That's a lot of it. Um I don't know if I should talk about this. Let's hear it. I respect the people in the military. If they're in battle and they have PTSD and they're running the government, what about that? I don't want to get into it. Turn them lose. Turn them lose. You think? Yeah. Well, who's in the military that you like that Joe Kent? He's in he was in like Fallujah. That guy with the eye patch, what was his name?

SPEAKER_00 56:37

Dan Crenshaw. He's not in the government anymore.

SPEAKER_01 56:40

Fucking uh uh that gay guy, the um he wanted to be vice president.

SPEAKER_00 56:46

Lindsey Graham?

SPEAKER_01 56:48

No, uh uh Victory or what's his name? Booty peg? Yeah, Booty Judge or whatever. He was in the military. There's a lot of people from the military. A lot of people shut out I respect our armed forces. Forget what I just said.

SPEAKER_00 57:05

There's this bit, man, and it's so offensive, but it's so funny. And this uh this comedian, I can't even remember his name, but he does this video. He's like, you know, I'm I'm all for the troops. He's like, but apparently when they have these wars, yeah, they don't shoot any of the assholes.

SPEAKER_01 57:24

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_00 57:25

It's like because every time I'm at a bar drinking a Budweiser, and some guy's like anyways, you can imagine where this joke goes again, and it's it's so bad.

SPEAKER_02 57:36

It's so bad, it's so bad. It's so that's the edgy, dude.

SPEAKER_01 57:39

Yeah, it's so bad. I remember me and this guy in the I was working in Reno, he was uh from he was from North Carolina, and we're both like talking about this guy that we hated, and he was in he was like in the Marines, and he's like, Do you ever notice how these guys in the Marines are like assholes? And I was like, I didn't want to say anything, I'm like, I don't know. This guy's an asshole. That's basically what this guy's comedy bit was. And he was like, I know a lot of guys who are assholes who are in the marines. Shout out, armed forces.

SPEAKER_00 58:07

Uh there's uh yesterday, my algorithm started feeding me a bunch of girls with no arms. Like, I see that all the time. Did you see I mean the one with the lady eating with her feet? Yes. One of them like made she's like, I made reservations. He's like, she's like, hi, it's Callie, the girl with no arms. Anyways, I made a reservation to eat at so-and-so, so-and-so in Manhattan. It took it was three-month waiting lists, it's finally my turn. And I'm the kind of person I gotta have a coffee, a water, and a mimosa when I brunch. And then it shows to her, and she's like wearing a shirt with no sleeves, and like what like missing arms. How because she she does say in the video I was born with no arms. Okay, wasn't like she was trimming trees and had a bad day, and then she's like drinking mimosa with her feet and eating an egg sandwich with her feet. Is she walking on those feet? She's doing everything with those feet, and I get it. You gotta play with the hand that was feet that were dealt to you, and she's just like doing it. Yeah, I would I would I don't know that I would be able to like go to that restaurant and not be like I'd have to totally enamored with watching her have breakfast, and I think that's what she's going for because obviously it's on Instagram or whatever. Yeah, uh, but I don't think that I would be able to like not look at her, eat her entire meal.

SPEAKER_01 59:32

If I had to eat with my feet, I would bleach my feet every time I took a bite. Really? Well, dude, you have your foot in the sock in your shoe all day, dude.

SPEAKER_00 59:42

I bet like your feet your foot is probably cleaner than your hand. You've never wiped your ass with your foot, have you? I never wiped my ass with my hand. Well, I mean, but it's just like what toilet paper or whatever.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:01

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:02

Yeah. No, my feet are disgusting. Anyways, that's all I'm gonna say about that. I was just like, there's a lot of girls. It just surprised me. Like, there's also just seem to be a lot of girls on Instagram.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:16

There's a ton of people. I never knew this community existed. There's one girl who has tiny arms, or like like a third of the size of the arm, and she was she like rock climbs, dude. Yes, I'm like, there's a lot of people with like missing arms and like malformed arms.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:31

We have all of our appendages, and all we're capable of doing is getting on the thinking about shit podcasts and telling some ha-ha's.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:40

I know, but what do they do in their off time? I don't know. Just chill out, dude. Yeah. Yeah. They're doing a lot with those little feet. Yeah with their feet. Isn't there like a drummer that does like feet who's missing his arm? He played with one arm. One arm drummer. I heard he was uh what he got in a car accident. Something like that.

Catfish Pride, Fishing Shirts, And Merch

SPEAKER_01 1:01:01

Uh I always thank God for everything I have.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:03

I just realized today that people who fish for catfish, catfishermen, yeah, are frowned upon in the fishing community, they're looked down upon. I'm not. I like that. I'll I'll tell you what, anyone that knows me, sees me, realizes that my wardrobe is pretty much 99% of one thing. Fishing shirts. I'll wear fishing shirts. That's South Texas attire.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:28

And pretty much I wear poncho fishing shirts.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:30

Yeah, you go upscale with them.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:32

They but they fit me well. I started buying them when they were 50 bucks, now they're 100 bucks. Are they really 100? They've jacked the price up insane as they've gotten so busy. But the the other brands are not far behind them on price. I mean, they're 69. Like those hook or whatever. Yeah. Uh, but these just fit me the best. I like the pockets. Where you can put your phone and everything.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:54

That one's been out for a while, huh? It's all faded.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:56

Yeah. And uh they do last some of mine are five, six, seven years old, and they're still good. Uh that's why I like these carhps, they last forever. They uh they sent out like a happy mother's day deal, and they had like all the people that worked for them and like a picture with them and their mom and what they do. And this one guy was like, he makes sure that no catfish, no, no like catfishing pictures make it into our streams. And it was like, these fucking fly fish and Austinite hotels are down on fucking catfish, man. Well, fuck you, Poncho. I may switch brands. They go live in their think you're too good for catfish? They go back to their container home in dripping springs. Why don't I invite you over one day and just feed you a perch? How about hey, you like that? How's your perch? I'll just eat catfish like a goddamn American.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:47

People like uh fly fishing because they they like they like tricking the fish into thinking it's a a fly. Like this isn't real, you stupid little fish.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:57

I I don't know if I've ever met a fly fisherman that wasn't an asshole. If you were in the military and you fly fish. Oh god, you got problems. We yeah. If I hit your wife, we'll leave it at that.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:12

We'll leave it right there.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:13

We'll leave it right there. Dude, but the poncho shirts, the Uvaldi Poncho shirts you're gonna have. I'm gonna have them. It's gonna be a I think this is a great idea that I'm gonna have the higher-end coyote marks. Yes, dude. People are gonna come buy them. They're gonna come buy them. I'm gonna buy one, a couple a couple. Yeah. And the hats, too. And you're gonna pay for it too, unless you're U C I S D. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:35

Well, you're gonna pay costs, though.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:37

And then you're gonna pay costs.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:38

You can't like lose money. Then you'll know. Um how do you do that? How do you get you just you're like you call Poncho or you can just have him do it?

SPEAKER_00 1:03:45

So apparently, Poncho does not want you to put logos on shirts and resell them.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:51

Sorry, we're doing it.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:52

But yeah, we're doing it for the school. It's not like we're just yeah, for our town. Like, we've been through a lot. We've been through a lot. You want to fight Uvaldi? You think uh oh, the for the fly fishing company? We don't want the coyotes to have nice shirts. Fuck you. Yeah, fuck you. Oh, we'll fight you. We'll fight you right here in Uvaldi, Texas.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:12

I know a couple guys that kick your ass.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:13

That's right. Um they were in the military.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:16

Some weren't. Oh, some were some just around the pipeline.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:18

Yeah, some were on the pipeline.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:20

I mean, they some gave us those rooks. Shout out, Johnny Bones.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:22

Thanks for the fronts.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:25

Did I let Monaghan's? Me and Johnny hung out in Monaghan's so long. He's a good dude. He's a hard boss. He's the best. What about the catfish? So back to the catfish, people don't they look down on the catfish fisherman. I love catfish. I do too. Although you can catch a catfish with like a peanut butter cup. Yeah, people don't like that.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:43

You can catch a catfish on a used band-aid. Yeah, basically. Carp too. They put carp pictures on their deal, like carp? Carp, which is horrible. Aren't those like invasive? Yeah. Um I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:58

You can catch a catfish with just about anything. Just about anything. Do you ever go to one of those catfish uh ponds? Like the one they used to have in Hondo. Yeah. I think I went to I went to one like about 20 years ago, and they gave us a bunch of livers. And that first cast I threw in, and it as soon as it landed, I hooked it.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:15

The uh there's a guy on Instagram, shout out Ernie the hog snatcher. It's a big old black guy, and he catches catfish out of the Potomac River. No way. And he's like fishing. Sometimes he's in a boat. A lot of the times he's bank fishing. And uh, he's a real funny. He's got he kind of looks like refrigerator Perry, the old football player, and he's got a big old space between his two front teeth, and he's always catching these giant catfish.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:42

That thing's huge. Yeah, that's not a catfish.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:44

That's not a catfish, it's like a striped bass or something. But Ernie the hog snatcher. Shout out, Ernie.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:51

I don't know. Have you ever been on a you've been on a boat like in the bay or in the gulf? I've never done that.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:57

Yeah, I don't like the way out there. Do you think get burned? Sunburned? Yeah. I do. I get sunburned anywhere.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:04

You ever seen these women in their bikinis and they're out there? Fishing? Yeah. Their butts out. Come on. Let's go let's reel it back a little. We need that. Get you a fish inshirt.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:16

Get you Valdy fish insurance. Get you valley. Get you a poncho.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:19

Oh, uh Sage wanted to hang on me last week. He said he was off all week. Uh, he wanted to go grab a beer. I was working. Sage, I wanted to hang out with you. I worked all week. I couldn't do it. I'm sorry. Next time.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:31

I don't drink beer, so maybe that's why he didn't call me. It's too good. Maybe. He could have listened to your um complain about that uh trooper. You could have. I could have told him all about it in person.

New School Board And Representation Talk

SPEAKER_00 1:06:41

Shana Sage. So last week after the elections, there's a new school board. Shout out new school board. Oh, I see. There's a new superintendent. Shout out new superintendent, Dr. Hanajosa.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:54

Who's that? Do we know him?

SPEAKER_00 1:06:56

He used to be the athletic director when right after we were there, I think. Juan, Dr. Juan Jinajosa. Juan Jina. Oh no. Juan Mina Josa.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:09

This isn't him, but I just uh everyone who is a doctor now, I just assume they use Chat GPT.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:14

Shout out. Shout out. So you have the new superintendent, Dr. Juan Hinojosa, and the all-new school board elected. Let me tell you what's not on this school board. What? Nobody who isn't Hispanic. I know. What's up with the white people? You always gave up, didn't you? There was a time. I'm just I'm just, this is a thought exercise. I I don't care. Uh because I identify as Mexican. So I feel I feel represented. Yeah. But there was a time when the school board was all Anglos. And there was a there was a lot of commotion. That that really wasn't the right way to do things.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:05

Really?

SPEAKER_00 1:08:06

There wasn't there.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:07

Wait, when was this?

SPEAKER_00 1:08:09

This was in the 70s.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:10

Oh, of course.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:11

Yeah. Things have changed, thank God. Oh sure.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:15

They have sure changed.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:17

But just we always hear this this we don't always hear it. This hubbub? Every now and then this racing gets brought up in like a non-humorous way. We bring it up all the time in a funny joking. Yeah, because we don't care. And we don't we really don't care. We're just fooling. And congrats to everybody who won the election and is going to be on the school board, and I hope you do a great job. But if the shoe were on the other foot, if there were it would be a pro it would be a problem. Oh yeah. Even if it was like the majority, like I don't know how many people are in there. Five people, seven people. If the majority of them were not Hispanic, there would be comments. There would be those people that always have something to say. Well, I don't see any white people in New Valde. There's really not that many. But there should be maybe like from our history here and the things that we that have become a big deal in our legacy as a community. I think everyone should should kind of acknowledge the fact that there should probably be a racial quota. A gringo.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:26

Well, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:27

So I'm starting a movement. Tell me if I'm on it.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:31

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:32

La Raza Unita Gringo.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:35

Good one. Yeah, you're on it.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:38

I'm gonna sell shirts here with a coyote logo on it. La Raza Unita Gringo.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:43

Or you could just run for school board.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:45

You'd probably get a- I would rather make the shirts and lose $10,000.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:48

Exactly. Oh my God.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:54

I think this is the best joke I've made up in like a six months.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:58

La Raza Unita Gringo. Yeah. That's good.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:01

That's pretty good.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:02

But uh Baxter's on wasn't Baxter. Baxter does a lot of stuff around town, doesn't he? Isn't he on the some board or something?

SPEAKER_00 1:10:08

Uh he's on the board at the country club.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:10

Oh, that's what it is.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:11

I don't know. They might need a Mexican on that board.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:14

That's where they all ran to, right? Behind Dollar General.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:17

That's it. What's up, guys? Bunkered down over there.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:20

I know it's bad. And it's not even that bad. Come back. Come back. We need you. Come to the Apple Hop. The water's fine. The water's fine. And the food is even better. That's right. Yeah, La Rasa, you need a gringo.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:34

That is good.

Viral Unicycle Stunts And Texas Water Talk

SPEAKER_00 1:10:36

You see, I saw this cat on uh Instagram, Nighthawk951.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:40

I was thinking about that. And that cat, I was like, that's a cute little kitty.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:43

Uh yeah. If you follow us on Instagram, I just shared on our story and it's a graphic for the podcast. Yeah. I think it's really cool, but we're not sharing it anywhere else.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:52

The catfishman's gonna put a cat.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:54

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:58

Uh but then Nighthawk 951. This maniac has an electric unicycle that goes over 90 miles an hour.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:08

Oh shit.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:09

And this fucking guy dresses up like Robocop and all this body armor and shit. And he's riding this thing down the interstate weaving through fucking cars and shit. It is the craziest thing I've ever seen.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:21

I think I've seen that guy.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:23

Nighthawk what?

SPEAKER_00 1:11:24

Uh Nighthawk 951. The thing is insane. This contraption is insane. I can't believe it exists. That's awesome. It looks like I would not have enough coordination to ride this thing at all. This guy ought to join the goddamn circus.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:40

He's like splitting lanes in LA.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:42

Yeah, he's going like 85 miles an hour, weaving, splitting through traffic and shit on the interstate. It's insane.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:49

This is in California, I think. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:51

That's probably the coolest thing I saw this weekend.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:53

He has motorcycles. Yeah, I've seen uh people on those uh unicycles. I don't know how they stand up. I don't either. I feel like you could just crack, I'd crack my fucking head open in a New York minute.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:04

So but go check that guy out. If you want to feel like an uncoordinated fat slav, go check out Nighthawk 951. There you go.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:14

Ox tell us. You called it tell us. I didn't I say it. Corbus Christie begins talk on privately built diesel. Oh, desalinization plant. That's right. We're doing it finally. It's happening. We're bringing in the the old catfish water. Now, is it pure is it pure water? I think it is.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:33

I you know pure, you could do this. I saw him do this shit. I saw uh Alec Baldwin and Polly Shore do this in the army in 1992, and they're in the army now. Great movie. They're the water boys. Bring them to Corpus Christi. They can save the day. In the army now? Why? What happened? I want Polly Shore, Alec Baldwin, and Martin Pitts, the Water Boys, save the day. I love it.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:00

Wait, so okay, so they're getting the lake out of Lake, the water out of Lake Mathis. Is that what it was?

SPEAKER_00 1:13:05

And it's empty now. How the fuck did that happen?

SPEAKER_01 1:13:08

No rain? No rain. Well, I just get a couple pipes, pipe it in, it'll be full.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:14

That's it.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:14

Dude, that Guadalupe River and Sagine, it was so low. And now the last few weeks I've been driving, it's over that bridge. It's fucking full of water. I heard the Waterloops like rocking and rolling. Dude, it's full. They got their their waters all the way back up. This rain has really helped them out.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:30

Shout out rain.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:32

How do you say rain in Spanish? Uh Yuya.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:35

Pincha Yuya. Pinchaya, yeah. Oh. Is that it? Uh, that's pretty much all our notes, bro. Is that your phone or your iPad? It's my iPad. Let me see your nasty stick, your nasty pictures.

unknown 1:13:51

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:52

Pictures? They're just normal stuff.

Sponsor Roundup And Weekend Plans

SPEAKER_01 1:13:55

Shout out Ziggy's text dermy. Uh, Victoria, we want to have you in the show. Uh, if you're listening to this, let us know. I might even send you a message and ask when you can do it. Yeah. Uh Ziggy, I don't know you, but you sound like a cool dude. South Africa. Oh, another shrimp on the Bobby. Yeah, I think that's Australia. Yeah. And uh Ruby's Lounge, uh, they're having their opening thing on the uh sixth this next Saturday.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:24

So if you go to the deal this next Saturday at Ruby's grand opening of the patio, and you get all bell and you're like, you know what, there was no there weren't any ladies for me at Ruby's. I'm gonna go That's impossible. I'm gonna go over to the Whataburger and see if the friendly Oh, that's where you go. Yeah, the friendly girls over there, and you get picked up for DWI by some asshole trooper that runs, does donuts around you and pulls up like he's beautiful T justice. And you get thrown in the hooscow. Call Alamo Bellbond River City Bail Bonds. River City Bellbonds Eddie.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:03

Uh Ruby's Lounge, uh, Sapphire Wings, they work out in the uh outside there, they'll be working. Diamond Cut Masery, masonry. Go ahead and give them a call. Um, I have their number here somewhere, and it's not here, but Diamond. It must be with their check. What? What? Their check? Yeah. What do you mean? Lost it. No, I got their check.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:28

Oh, you did? Yeah. They give you something.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:30

Oh, yeah. Oh, nice. But it all went into the show.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:33

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:34

But uh, free estimates, concrete anything, rock stone repair, rock wall, artistic stone design, chimneys and outdoor barbecue setup. So give Diamond Cut Masonry a call. I like that. Sapphire Wings, Ruby's Lounge this weekend. Um uh Zach Moulton will be there. He's playing in that band. He's an old Uveldi guy. He's a work priest uh sing or play guitar for uh Silverata and uh Mike and the Moon Pies.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:58

Shout out Zach, he's been on our podcast, been many moons. Many moons ago.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:02

Many moons ago. What else do you know, bud?

SPEAKER_00 1:16:04

Is that we should get him on here while he's in town and get him to say bad things about somebody.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:09

Uh, Mike? Did you say he looked like a what? What? Didn't you say he looked what do you look like? I don't know what you're saying. Mike Harmeyer, you said he looked like a I have no, I don't recall. I don't want to say it. I say a lot of things. If I showed you a picture, you'd be like, oh, he looks like a pink. I don't know. What do we want to say? Supremises. All right, well, are you done? I'm done. All right, well, we'll see y'all next week. How long do we do? Hour 16. Shout out. I feel like we did two hours. Alright. See ya. Alright, see ya.