Negpod
It’s a comedy podcast with all the trimmings. Featuring your old pals, Ox and The Talent!
Negpod
Ep. 47 Going Video
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Our first video podcast changes the vibe instantly: suddenly we’re thinking about cameras, clips, edits, upload time, and where the full show actually lives on Spotify. We talk through the messy, practical side of making a video podcast in a small-town studio, where “production” is basically two guys, an internet connection, and whatever we can figure out after work. Along the way, we shout out the local sponsors who keep the lights on and the community connected.
Then we hit a topic that’s not theoretical at all: how jokes land when someone has real history behind them. One line meant as dark humor turns into an awkward moment, and it sparks a bigger conversation about boundaries, mental health, and why you never really know what a person is carrying. If you’ve ever wondered how comedy, responsibility, and friendship collide, you’ll recognize the tension fast.
We also get into Flood 2026 cleanup in Uvalde, the lack of clear landfill options, and the way residents end up solving their own problems while waiting on official action. That leads to the best part of small-town Texas: showing up anyway. We talk about helping a neighbor, grabbing breakfast, and the difference between a press release and a skid steer. From there it’s classic NEGPod chaos: location sharing paranoia, road rage reality checks, fast food app points, Waffle House opinions, weight loss mindset, and getting older in public.
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River City Bail Bonds
A-1 Fire and Safety
Connor Kimball
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Video Podcast Debut And Editing Plans
SPEAKER_00And we're back. What's up, McNew? Our first video podcast. What's up? What's up?
SPEAKER_01You think we look skinny?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, we look thinner than spaghetti. Shout out to our sponsors, Wigovi. Wigovi. Is that like uh that weight loss thing?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I was trying to think of what the other one's called. Uh commercial every five minutes for them. Oh fatty pig fatty.
SPEAKER_00What uh whole new dynamic here, bud.
SPEAKER_01Whole new dynamic.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, look into that camera and it's wow.
SPEAKER_01How about it? Cheese. What are we gonna where are we gonna post this? I mean on Spotify. Oh, it'll come up on Potify, and then people can clip it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, or I we can we can make I'm gonna make clips and I'll send them to you and you can put them on uh the social media.
SPEAKER_01Oh, that's gonna be cool.
SPEAKER_00Shout out We'll do mostly we'll have we'll have the whole show on Spotify and then the clips, you can do whatever you want with.
SPEAKER_01How much longer do you think it's gonna take to upload?
SPEAKER_00To edit this? Yeah, I don't know. I haven't even tried editing.
SPEAKER_01I mean, basically you just have to snip it uh yeah together, which should be pretty cool.
SPEAKER_00Which is I think it does automatically, and then with the program I have, and then to snip it. You're gonna have to watch it. And then see what we like. Yeah, that that'll be and then we cut it. Yeah. I can just edit it like from the start to beginning and then put that on and go through it and clip it.
SPEAKER_01And how long do you think it'll take to uh like when you actually upload it, like because it's video. Right now it takes 90 seconds to take a file and get it online. If we wanted to we finished a podcast, you can have it on in three minutes or ten minutes, or what is it?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, we don't cut. I can just do it in it'll take 15 minutes to upload. To upload. Because the AI's gotta go through it, and because of video, I have to do that manually. So whenever I have time, I can do it. Just another thing I gotta do, bud.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01I'm guessing what I'm saying is the upload the upload from the audio file is 15 minutes because you're adding video. Does it make it take an hour and a half? Probably. Okay, that's what I'm asking. No, well, I know hard-edited fuck.
SPEAKER_00But why does it I'm trying to like, why does it pertain why is it pertinent information?
SPEAKER_01I'm just curious.
SPEAKER_00Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_01Well, what if we had some real hot news off the press? How long will it take us to get a video up? Uh and with your internet here? A day. But with your dad's good internet. There you go. Yes, sir. I think you're gonna be able to tie this together quickly. And it's not like we have a bunch of edits. No. When's the last time you edited some something out?
SPEAKER_00Uh the other day when you're talking about like uh some Catholic Church or something. Oh, you took that out? Not the last one, a couple episodes back, yeah. That didn't take very long. It'll take me a while to edit it. This is my first time.
SPEAKER_01Shout out Ox Protecting the Church. Protecting my belly, don't look at it.
SPEAKER_00So what's up, dude? We're back. Um we're back, we're on video. Shout out to our sponsors. Oh, that's really that's really uh putting a spell on you, bud, in the video. Yeah. Shout our sponsors out, bud. Go ahead. Sponsors uh Ziggy's Tax Jeremy over on Marsh Lane. Shout out, Ziggy and Victoria That's about all I gotta say about that. Uh Ruby's Lounge. I might hit them up tonight. Just kidding. I can't drink, it'll fuck me out. Uh Nico, uh, Nakota. Uh, Renee and Dakota, the two hardest working people in Uvalde. You should go do the dancing lessons on Monday night. With a just some partner?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, just a random pairing.
SPEAKER_00I took a boxing class in Reno when I was there about 15 years ago, and they paired me up with this girl. She's like five foot tall. Did you walk a mole? And I was like, What man, what man? And she was just like, She was so pissed.
SPEAKER_01I would have stayed a member of that forever if they would have just let me beat up small.
SPEAKER_00I loved it. I can't I was like, Can I get but then I had to go out like every day. Like they send me out every I'll they sent me an email like, Are you gonna come back to her class? I'm like, I can't have to work. Oh man.
SPEAKER_01They were gonna make you fight Mike Tyson the next time. Maybe.
SPEAKER_00And I they were like, show me your punch, and I punched, and the instructor and I punched him by the nose. And his face he went flush, he was so physically. I'm like, dude, I'm sorry. Oh my gosh, that's great. It was so funny. It was a good dude. That boxing is a workout, dude.
SPEAKER_01Shout out boxing. It is a workout.
SPEAKER_00Uh I didn't want to get punched though.
SPEAKER_01They should do boxing at Ruby's. Ruby's Tuesday night. Come beach white night. Uh one fire and safety said a shout-out, Brad and John. Give old John a call. Um look, our extinguishers are up.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I know. He came and did it a few weeks ago. What a guy!
SPEAKER_01After our emergency. Here you go. But um, I think one of our extinguishers floated away, but we still got one, so that's good. No, shout out uh A1 Fire and Safety. Those good, those are the go-to guys in the area.
SPEAKER_00That's what they do. They just put in the They know.
SPEAKER_01They've been they do it so often they know. Whatever your business is, your restaurant, car dealer, out-of-business car dealer, podcast studio, yeah, brothel, illegal casino, barbecue restaurant with slot machines. They don't, they know. They'll they'll know where to put that shit. How much do they charge for that? Can we say? I don't know. It's like a hundred dollars a pop. It's pretty reasonable. It's like it's negligible. Um take care of it. Until you have to like replace the equipment.
SPEAKER_00You go to like days in, and you're like, I gotta set up.
SPEAKER_01You go to like a day's in and they need 400 of them. Yeah, I think it's yeah, it's different. Uh shout out Campbell Fabrication, Connor Campbell. Thank you, Connor. Give him a call. All types of fencing, metal building, signs, CNC work, powder coating, custom metal work, fence staining, trash hauling, carports, patios, and arrowhead hunting. Yeah. Although I think he's a faker. I think he's just chipping those himself himself. He's making the arrowheads. Oh, because he's got all those tools and he's just making arrowheads. Shut out, Connor. You fucking con artist. If you need some uh falsified Indian artifacts, Connor can make them for you.
SPEAKER_00Thank you, Connor.
Dark Humor And Where Jokes Land
SPEAKER_00Uh what's up, dude? Can we talk about my first one here? Yeah, let's go. You can't joke about suicide anymore. It's off the table. Really? Yeah, I told this guy I was talking to uh a friend of mine, he's from he's from out in California. I call him every now and then. He's a trucker. You know, like he's it Alan Skipper? No, I thought Alan lives in Hawaii.
SPEAKER_01Oh, yeah. I just trying to like I don't know if I believe you have a friend that I don't know.
SPEAKER_00His name's Bush. He's from he's from Pasarobles, uh California, but I trucked with him in Reno.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_00And um, he's like, what are you doing? I'm like, I'm doing this and that, or I might fucking kill myself. And he's like, he got all quiet and he's like, Don't Alex, don't do it. I'm like, how am I going to? I'm kidding. But he was just like, I think people have said that to him. How old a guy is he? It's like in his fifties.
SPEAKER_01In his fifties. Yeah. He's probably been suicide adjacent. And this terrible show I'm watching, um, The Madison. Are you watching it? There, it's so bad. I I have to turn it off like 20 minutes in, and then I come back, and it's kind of background noise. Um, but the lady's pulled over and she finds a gun in the car, and she's sitting there, and this cowboy pulls up. Ma'am, you're holding a very permanent solution to a temporary problem. Oh, Christ. I'm like, just let her do it. Yeah, let her do it. It's permanent. Punish her spoiled ass kids. Give them two dead parents.
SPEAKER_00I mean, so she had she brought a gun with her to kill herself?
SPEAKER_01No, she found it in the pickup or whatever. Anyways, uh, but some people, yeah, you you can't joke about racism. You can't joke. It's like some people you can't joke about racism. Some people it's suicide. Yeah. Some people it's carbohydrates. Maybe. You never know. You never know what somebody will. That's why I joke about everything.
SPEAKER_00I just throw it all up.
SPEAKER_01I like to joke about everything, too. Everything.
SPEAKER_00Um I wonder if people are gonna like their video. They're like, what the fuck is this?
SPEAKER_01We're gonna our ratings are gonna go down.
SPEAKER_00No, we're gonna do the audio still. Audio's coming out tonight. We're Lavos de Uvalde.
SPEAKER_01Lovos de Uvalde. It's just the video. That's it. Um shout out the Lavosa Uvalde. Who's out? Oh, us? That's us. That's us, but it's whoever screams the loudest.
SPEAKER_00Don't we have isn't there another lady? Oh, isn't there another lady someone who does that? Lovos? Do you want to talk about her?
SPEAKER_01I don't I can't remember her name.
SPEAKER_00Look at I brought. You brought a lighter. For the office. Nice. Yeah. Because I farted the other day and it smelled so bad you're looking for a lighter. Remember that? I wasn't gonna light a candle. I was. I don't know if it works.
SPEAKER_01Thanks for thanking of us, bud. You're welcome, bud.
Flood 2026 Cleanup And County Runaround
SPEAKER_00So uh our car lot's just a podcast studio for the moment. It is. So many, so two people came by. Are you all open? We're like, kinda. Go away.
SPEAKER_01We'll have the internet up, the website with all the auto inventory details soon. And we'll just post all that on Facebook, like in Facebook evaluating or whatever. Mm-hmm. And uh you have you got questions, go check it out on the internet. It's got a price, it's got the information, it's got the engine, it's got the mileage, it's got it all. We're gonna have it. We would have had it sooner, but we got washed away. We got chinglayed.
SPEAKER_00We were on, we had we're open one day. One day. It was a great day. It was a great day. I liked the video of them doing the pie walk out there. It's like, God, those were the days two weeks ago. Fung.
SPEAKER_01The good old days. Yeah. Uh let me tell you what else it is.
SPEAKER_00What's up?
SPEAKER_01It's officially been two weeks since Flood 2026. And there's no landfill opportunities for you to take your track. I thought they were working on a temporary one. They've tabled on Monday's meeting, they tabled that for two weeks. Uh what? Why? The plan is to continuously punt until everyone has solved their own problems, and then some big press release will come out where it'll be like, yo, yo, yo, let me jerk you off and tell you how great we are and what we've done for you.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01But essentially, everyone's already done everything for themselves.
SPEAKER_00I saw a huge fire out there. Maybe somebody's burning some stuff.
SPEAKER_01No, that's uh a field cornfields we're burning or whatever. On purpose? Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. Uh so I got a call yesterday from our longtime loyal listener, Chunk. Shout out, Chunky. Said, Do you know anybody still help that still doing the trash cleanup? So we're not doing anymore. DK, we need to get back to work. We got we got behind. Yeah, bills to pay. And just we we did what we could. We pushed it, and uh now we got to kind of play catch up and and uh keep the bills paid. But seeing that he's my neighbor, I said I got the skid steer parked at my house. Yeah, you got ox parked at your house. And one of the and I think I got one of the trailers and one of the Which one?
SPEAKER_00Me and Parker were talking about that. Which one is that?
SPEAKER_01Dump trailer?
SPEAKER_00Is the one that we had? Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_01Where is it? I don't know. I was asking you. It might be a pipeyard or whatever. But anyways, we'll we'll figure that out, and uh we're gonna go help our buddy Chunk on Saturday, just as friends, not as DKM, but as the NEGPod. Are we really? Friends of the pod. Dude, that's nice. You're welcome. Well, we only have the capacity to help one person, so don't don't be impressed. Well, he counts.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, he counts.
SPEAKER_01And uh, so anyways, we're gonna go help him. But I'm talking to him, and he was he was kind of like, yeah. I was kind of waiting to see what the county did or if there's a plan. And I was like, no, the plan is for you to solve your own problems, right? And they're gonna punt and punt and punt again. And and I get it, they don't have the budget and they don't know what to do, and they gotta deal with all these roads, but they ought to just say that. Like, yeah, we're we're encouraging what we ought to say is we have a comprehensive plan for you to solve your own problems, yeah. And aka burn your shit. And then maybe in a month or two months, we might have the bandwidth, or we might have figured out the bigger problems than your trash, and maybe we can help. Like that would be an honest and a defensible position.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01But right now they're just like saying bullshit and not doing anything. I hate that. I hate it too. Giving you all runaround. I've been a bullshit artist myself many a times. Have you? Yeah. And I recognize it. I said, Oh, that's bullshit. I'm I know that. I speak that language. Right. Yeah. That's your little superpower. I don't know if it's my superpower, but my feet buzz. Yeah. If I was a blind man, all I would do is take a whiff at that chat GPT generated uh flyer, and I'd say, more bullshit.
SPEAKER_00Oh, did they do that? Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Oh, God. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00So yeah, so uh we're gonna go help Chunk out. Um is there a lot of stuff, Chunk? Am I gonna be there all day? Are you gonna feed us? I got so many questions. So many questions. I think if we get I'm feed me.
SPEAKER_01I'd like to have breakfast first before we go mess with this. Yeah, for sure. We gotta have breakfast. And if anybody wants to meet for breakfast, is this an open invite? We can meet for breakfast. Yeah, it's open invite. Julio's or what? Uh Saturday morning, yeah. Julio's husband.
SPEAKER_00I don't think is rosemary open. No. Gotta go to Julio's. Gotta go to Julio's. Zulema shout out.
SPEAKER_01And uh have a little breakfast at Julio's, and I gotta go by the office for a little bit. And then I'd like to get started by 8 30, 9 o'clock at the latest, and I think we could have it licked. Licked by lunchtime. Whether that's a 12 o'clock lunch or a one o'clock lunch or a little bit. Did you go look and see what he's got?
SPEAKER_00I did. I did a little drive. Okay, well, that's fine. Yeah. I trust you, bud. Yes, sir. I got nothing else going on, bud. You'll be there till Monday.
SPEAKER_01Uh so that's what we got going on. A little just a little bit more community service from the pod. Not only are we the LaVoz de Uvaldi. We help. Emo. Emour. We're the more.
SPEAKER_00We're the more.
Location Sharing And Everyday Health Oddities
SPEAKER_00Yeah. We're the more. Oh, uh, are we the official podcast of Uvalde High School? Apparently. I got some uh people who follow the show from high school, which is okay, I guess. I saw the They just want to know when when we're when we're gonna broadcast next.
SPEAKER_01That's what they want to know.
SPEAKER_00I guess. I guess I whenever we do a show or going to, I put it there first. Did you put that today?
SPEAKER_01Um, I did see that our uh second favorite podcast, In-laws and uh Outhouses, they had on the football coach from the high school. So they may be the official high school podcast. That's fine with me.
SPEAKER_00I just don't know about like these people who have podcasts about sports. God bless them. God bless them. But it is boring as fuck to me. Not the not their show, just talking about sports. No, it's like whenever we're watching the the um the World Cup, they had the interviews with the players. I'm like, even with baseball, I'm like, I don't want to hear what these cocksuckers have to say. What about gambling? I'm more interested in when it has gambling with the sports. Oh, but then that's great.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah. They should make uh a show about that. They should do their show inside uh Evid's Barbecue, the newest casino. I haven't been back in there since flood 2026. They were like they moved them out, but I but I don't I bet they had.
SPEAKER_00Remember when we went and it was like it was flooding, and they're like, God bless his they didn't get us the next day of my drone flying by. They're like like in their windows full of water. Yeah, maybe the casino's closed. I don't know.
SPEAKER_01Might be closed, but I I don't I usually go to Evetts like quite often, at least every week, and I haven't been back in two weeks. Well, they were closed for a minute.
SPEAKER_00That really starred you, didn't they? Well, I mean ding ding bing ding. Yeah. Uh would you call it wolf fuck sex or what? What do you call it like wolf sex or something?
SPEAKER_01The game, yeah. It was some kind of panther pissed game.
SPEAKER_00Oh god, that was so funny. Uh let's go to one uh oh dude, location sharing. Yeah, I share mine with you. You don't share it with me. Oh, is that how it's supposed to work? If you don't share it with me, guess what I'm gonna do? Turn mine off, motherfucker. That doesn't seem like logic to me. Why not?
SPEAKER_01It's more petty. Um I'm more inclined to need you to help me with something than you are to need me. I'm I'm needier. No.
SPEAKER_00That's for sure. Oh, in this relationship, sure.
SPEAKER_01And uh if I have your location, I could see I was like, oh, I bet Ox doesn't need to be bothered right now. And I look before I bother you.
SPEAKER_00Can I do that with you? No, you just assume I'm always gonna share it. You better share it, bud. Don't be like Alex turn it off. Click. Click. That's funny.
SPEAKER_01See uh what is the what is the deal with location sharing?
SPEAKER_00That's it. I'm saying you should share yours with my share yours with mine.
SPEAKER_01It's like a it's like a weird, it's a weird thing. I have it doesn't have to be weird, you just share it with me. I have uh one I have one of my buddies shares this location with me. He's been shared with me for like three years. No, and uh and I'll randomly be like, what the hell is this bastard up to? I did that with Clint on Snapchat.
SPEAKER_00Where's Clint? He's at his house. You're always there.
SPEAKER_01Uh what about you? You you like to uh wear safety glasses everywhere. I've noticed that. I thought maybe you had a spitting cobra in your backseat.
SPEAKER_00I've been obsessed with my eyes lately. I'm like, I need the protectors. So I've been wearing those my glasses everywhere. And I think you look you look more like you something's going on, like you're busier with it. I go to O'Reilly's, have them on, they're like, oh, this guy's this guy's for real.
SPEAKER_01I thought maybe you found uh a cuckled hole at the glory hole.
SPEAKER_00I don't end up like Dan Crenshaw. Yeah. I think I think everyone should wear safety glasses.
SPEAKER_01What about uh what do you what do you have here at the back of the tongue brushing?
SPEAKER_00I could not smell forever. And I used to do this and I didn't, I stopped. I backed that brush the back of my tongue. I could smell like anything now. And the problem is you gotta gag on that. You gotta make yourself almost puke. You really do, you really do, but then when you're done, you can smell like a fucking animal.
SPEAKER_01Have you ever seen the contraptions they sell at the drugstore?
SPEAKER_00Scrapers? Tongue scrapers. My brother gave this, they gave those to us for Christmas gifts.
SPEAKER_01Oh, that's a good gif.
SPEAKER_00My mom was not amused.
SPEAKER_01Have you ever had a tonsil stone?
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Ah, they're gnarly. They stink. They are st they stink bad.
SPEAKER_00What are those? Like calcium or what?
SPEAKER_01Uh yeah, it's just all the gnarliness.
SPEAKER_00I saw a video of the guy talking and one popped out of his mouth.
SPEAKER_01And it was Ted Cruz. It was during the first presidential debate when he was still in contention to run against Trump before Trump was uh ever elected. And they were in the debate, and Ted Cruz is being, you know, he's just not really likable.
SPEAKER_00You know his breath stinks before that, too.
SPEAKER_01And he's and he's saying something, and this huge tonsil stone flies out of his mouth and sticks on the microphone.
SPEAKER_00Oh god, it's like see now we can cut to that, cut to that, and we'll show up. That's gross. Yeah.
Cats, Wild Meat, And Aging Fears
SPEAKER_00What about cats? Dude, I think cats are the Indians of the animal world. Tell me more. You know how they like take dumps in the middle of fields? My mom has these stray cats and she feeds them because she feels bad. But you'll look over and it's like taking a dump in the grass. Why didn't the flood kill these cats? I don't know. Because they can just jump anyway, they can run up trees. Yeah, they're resourceful.
SPEAKER_01There's a ton of cats in Uvalde. If you had to pick a domesticated animal to eat, I think a cat would be last on my list. I hate the cat more.
SPEAKER_00It might be kind of tasty though. You think? Don't people eat lions and shit? I don't I'm I'm not familiar with that.
SPEAKER_01I am familiar with some of these hillbilly shit birds that eat mountain lions and stuff. If I come to your house and I open your freezer and I see something labeled mountain, I would rather it be human. I'd rather you eat a human.
SPEAKER_00Joe Ruggins said it tastes like a steak. I mean, I don't know.
SPEAKER_01He just gets all twack.
SPEAKER_00So we gotta, if if I ever bring in some mountain lion meat, would you try it? I mean, I would, but I wouldn't be like excited about it. It's like one time Johnny gave me uh, he's like, my uncle uh killed this uh deer with his car, and he cut it up and he gave me a piece, dude. I got so so sick for like a month. Was it cooked? No, it was raw. It was frozen. But I put it in my truck and it defrosted, I think, and I froze it again. And dude, I was sick. And then you ate it, and then I ate it. Yeah, that's bad for me. That was worms, bud.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, those are worms. Yes, sir. Is worms a diet? Can I just do that instead of all these shots and pills? I feel like worms is free. I just go out to the golf course and lick the green. Well, don't they destroy your body though? Eat your blood vessels. At some point, you have to be at a certain age where it's just a race. Like there There's a good chance that I'll just die of natural cause causes before this worm becomes 120 yards long.
SPEAKER_00Well, I don't know we're supposed to live that long, are we? Like back in the day, people lived till like till like they were 25.
SPEAKER_01I'm gonna live till 120.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, you're gonna live like your grandpa. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01How old is your grandpa when he passed? Uh he was like only like 87 or something. But I'm going for 120.
SPEAKER_00I saw I told my parents as we're watching um TV and the, you know, they have like the the old Jews and in Russia, they're dying of hunger. And this late and they're like, this lady's 107, she's starving. I looked at my dad, I'm like, 107, that's that's plenty. That's plenty for me. I want to be gone by then. I'm not gonna be begging for food at 107. She's hungry for more. And they gave her a bowl of bean, she's so happy. I'm like, are you then happy? At 107? 107. Happy. Maybe. She's looked cold too. She had a big old blanket on her.
SPEAKER_01I think when you get old, you just get cold.
SPEAKER_00I think you lose bone uh density and you you are colder.
SPEAKER_01Well, when I before I started putting all this weight on back on, I'd gotten to the point that I was so skinny I was cold all the time. I would shiver. You're like Clint. You're like an old stray cat. I was like a stray cat.
unknownFuck.
SPEAKER_01But my shirts did fit better. You felt better.
SPEAKER_00Uh maybe. I mean my salads, but I'm gonna get there. Although I think I'd gained a pound since I started eating all this.
SPEAKER_01I saw a guy today on uh Facebook, and all of a sudden, I don't know why this guy's popping up in my algorithm, but he's got his shirt off and he's he's real proud of himself.
SPEAKER_00I know why it's gonna be a little bit of a fucking queer.
SPEAKER_01I thought it was I thought it was kind of weird. I was like, what is this guy doing? Well then today he posted like uh it's like when sober people do something, and and uh he uh he posted one year and he had a picture. I guess he's been documenting himself with his shirt up or whatever. And he looked like a pasty, pale, fat grubworm a year ago. He did. Yeah, and uh today he's he's like he was shredded. He posted pictures like this is like he's got a new fucking sea men in shreds, he's got a new sleeve tattoo and a six-pack, and he defined characteristics, and like he's proud of himself, he's happy. And I looked at it and I thought, and you know what my brain did for a second? Tell me, it was like, could I do that? And then you know what my brain did? It told me to get up and I went and got two cookies. Oh fuck, two cookies. That's what my brain said. Piss on that chocolate chip. The girl in the office, shout out Mel, shout out Melanie. She's trying to get us all so fat. It's working. She's she's on a Betty Crocker kick, and every day she's bringing some kind of sweet treat in there. I bet it's great. And not only that, occasionally her Mima will make snacks. And I always she always brings bags for me. She's like, These are from my Mee Mom. God damn, they're killer. They're like butterscotch. You gotta tell her quit pretzels and like old school treats, like the old stuff you don't see anymore. Uh god dang, it's good.
SPEAKER_00It's like my mom, I was like, Mom, I don't eat that much food. Why just make this pistachio whipped cream dessert? I'm like, Well, can I have some please?
SPEAKER_01Uh your parents have been gone for a week.
Dogs, Zyn Habits, And Truck Talk
SPEAKER_00You've just been uh I think our dog's dying or something. I don't know what the hell's wrong with her. Like, I'm like, please don't anything happen to these dogs. And as soon as they leave, that dog's like, like, what the fuck is wrong with you?
SPEAKER_01She's just like, Do you think uh your mom would hold you accountable if one of the dogs died? Would it be a problem?
SPEAKER_00No, because I'm the one that brought that dog to her from West Texas.
SPEAKER_01Oh, there you go.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Did you get it from my dad's at Shotzi?
SPEAKER_00No, it's uh one I bought from Facebook um for a hundred dollars. It's a funny story. And uh they're they're like, we need uh money for Christmas gifts for kids. I was like, it was like 150. I was like, I'll give you a hundred bucks. They're like, we'll take it. Oh, is it already grown? No, it was a there's a puppy. It's like this tiny. And I go to the truck stop to meet them, and uh, and the kids are holding the dog, and I'm like, okay, here's your money. And the the kids didn't want to give it to me. And they're like, no, we want to keep it. And the mom's like, You want you want Christmas games on that dog? And they both look at each other and think, Hey, me the dog.
SPEAKER_01Uh, you made their Christmas ox and left with their dog. Yes, sir.
SPEAKER_00What kind of dog is it? Like a little miniature chihuahua, it's tiny, it's like this big.
SPEAKER_01I like that.
SPEAKER_00But I've had it since then. So, how long has that been?
SPEAKER_0111 years. 11 years, uh. Yes, sir. It's about time for a chihuahua to die.
SPEAKER_00But no, some of them go like 25 years. This one's real moody, though. She has she has these moods where but in like you'll see her jump on the couch and shit. Is she fat or skinny? She's real thin.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_00But her eyes are getting a little cloudy.
SPEAKER_01Uh, shout out, I got my dog neutered. Has a cone on, and this son of a bitch might as well be full blown retard with this cold.
SPEAKER_00What are you doing?
SPEAKER_01He's running into shit and got vertigo and doesn't know what's happening. I said, I don't know if it's gonna kill him first, that cone or me. I might just put him down.
SPEAKER_00He loves running in front of cars. Gabby took me over there to get something, and he's like running in front of full moron with this cone. Well, your other dog does that too, though.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, they just get close. Like you, I kind of like try to hit him so that's it.
SPEAKER_00I know, I've noticed that. And I know, yeah, yeah. White face forward. You this white face white face forward, dude. He knows a lot of stuff. I feel like everybody's familiar with Whiteface Ford guy.
SPEAKER_01That skinny old um. What do you keep a Zen in like 10 minutes?
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And then you get a new one? Yeah. What a scam. Those things are expensive. I got the money. It's like chain smoking. You gotta get off that button.
SPEAKER_00Why? I love these. Not like Parker with a six, uh, the nine, nine milligrams. These are six. He's like, I got a twelve. A twelve? Like, hey, you told me not to talk about this. Sorry, Parker. Like, you gotta quit these dude. Yeah. But yeah, dude, the uh what was he, what are you saying? Uh-huh. We tried uh talking shit to me.
SPEAKER_01Oh, the uh the white-faced Ford guy. Everybody, everybody, I feel like everybody knows. He's he's all over social media. He's a smart gucksucker. He's kind of like one of those guys, like he doesn't know it all, though. He is a know-it-all, but I keep I'm like, what's he know now? And it's something like kind of useful. The only thing is, is he knows a lot about Fords, and that's like knowing a lot about I guarantee he knows a lot more given a blowjob.
unknownWhat?
SPEAKER_00Because it's gay.
SPEAKER_01Fords are gay. No, they're not.
SPEAKER_00My all my Fords have lasted forever.
SPEAKER_01Oh. Maybe. I'm just not a Ford guy.
SPEAKER_00How come you're not a Ford guy?
SPEAKER_01I just know.
SPEAKER_00Piece of shit.
SPEAKER_01Uh I own Ford's. I like the old ones are cool and I have some nostalgia for them. But if you came up to me and you said, You gotta you you can have this new 2026 Ford Platinum Jerk Me Wham Bam, thank you, man, truck. Or you can have this um Chevy Wham bam. Yeah, if it's a wham bam, I'm always not gonna really pick the Ford. But even I'll be like, I might take an older used GM or Dodge. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00I don't like a wham bam Chevy. I don't like a wham bam anything anymore. I'm off these new cars, these new trucks. I like old school, baby. Oh yeah. Over here at Old G, we're all about the old school. Yes, sir. We just got it, we got a new truck today. Can we talk about that or no?
SPEAKER_01Well, it's happening.
SPEAKER_00Hey, you're sending me halfway across the damn country.
SPEAKER_01That's right.
SPEAKER_00Shout out. Pick up this motherfucker.
SPEAKER_01That's right.
SPEAKER_00It's a cool little truck. It's a cool truck. We're gonna be hauling a bunch of uh people who don't want to pay their bills.
SPEAKER_01We'll give you a ride. Right back to the dealer channel.
SPEAKER_00Are we gonna do the what's it called?
SPEAKER_01Snatch them up, towing? Yeah. Maybe. I think it'll be gotta get another license, so maybe we're just gonna like use it for our own shit for a while. You haven't another license for that? Dude, you gotta have a license for everything.
SPEAKER_00Well, I thought that maybe you would like to do that.
SPEAKER_01I would. I would like to get that license. But I was gonna get my auctioneer license first. For what? You're not gonna use it. Well, if the South arises again, I want to be able to auction stuff on.
SPEAKER_00Holy hell. You'll put a video in a clip.
SPEAKER_01That's terrible.
SPEAKER_00The rebel flag.
SPEAKER_01Uh there is some gonna be some good opportunities for horseplay with the video, I would say.
SPEAKER_00Dude, infinite.
SPEAKER_01Infinite. We're gonna miss a bunch.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Maybe our uh listeners will step up. They probably will, dude. And not even our listeners, just whoever's on the internet. Yeah, trolls. Shit hell. Showing out trolls. Uh did you see the Yes, I did. I hate John Oliver.
SPEAKER_01He's such a smug little he's a smug prick. He really is.
SPEAKER_00I'm an American mate.
SPEAKER_01Do you know how hard you there would be nothing better than a video of someone punching him in a line at a grocery store? Not like a full like rear back and hurt you punch, but like a six-inch, like right in the eye socket punch. Like the Chinese break the brick. Yes. Yeah. And uh to watch him lose his mind.
SPEAKER_00He would lose his mind.
SPEAKER_01It would be great. He's an upbutty brick. But I did think it's kind of funny that he was poking on Bucky's.
SPEAKER_00Well, he wants to sue him, or what is that?
SPEAKER_01Uh he was he was just saying how Buckies is super protective of any kind of infringement upon their brand.
SPEAKER_00They did. There's like a choke canyon uh gr gas store on the way to on 37, and they sued him and they changed it. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And so now he's he's f he's picking a fight with them. He's created a a similar Bucky's bullshit deal, and all his profits or proceeds go to feed the hungry, and so now he's trying to make them a villain.
SPEAKER_00I mean, I guess we need to see. I bet they'll still sue his dick off. Yeah, they'll sue.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And I'll stop caring. I don't care now. And I don't care now. Yeah. Yeah. He used to be funny though. Yeah, he did. He was a funny dude. Funny. I loved his show back in the Matador days.
SPEAKER_01Oh man. He's been doing it a while. It's weird to think he looks old.
SPEAKER_00They showed him like uh is that trash? Yeah. Oh. They showed him um a long time ago when he first started. He looked young. Now he looks like my dad's age. In his like late 60s, but he's only like 51.
SPEAKER_01Man, yeah. I'll tell you what keeps happening to me. I keep seeing pictures of people on the internet, and I'm like, god damn, that son bitch looks old. And then they're like the same age as me. They're between they're between like 40 and 50. Yeah. I'm like, shit, I've I'm I look I'm old, I look like shit. No, you don't. Yeah, but I don't care. I look better than these fuckers, that's for sure.
SPEAKER_00But is this because they're are they out in the sun or are they not in the sun?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and and some of them are are women. You know, when a when a woman's weathered, gotta love a weathered woman. And I don't know how that happens. Like some I think sometimes it's genetics and sometimes it's hard living. But then you'll whenever I see a a weathered woman, they're like celebrating my big 4-0 today, and they're like, Hi damn, bitch, you look like you're 60. What do you think?
SPEAKER_00When the fuck does this happen? Oh, okay. On the scroll. Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_01Not on my scrolls. I don't nothing exciting happens when I'm strolling around the neighborhood, but on my scrolls, I'll see this.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, some of them are uh they age fast, but I've seen some older women that that look pretty good. Yeah, me too. Yeah, me too. They got some life in them.
SPEAKER_01Mm-hmm. It's different, but people age different. I sure do. I'm and so what I'm trying to do is I'm trying to determine how am I aging. Like milk.
SPEAKER_00Hold on. No, you're aging fine, Blood. And who cares after that? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Uh you oh, you texted the wrong person?
SPEAKER_01No, I haven't done that in a while. I you like that used to be a common occurrence that especially if you were talking shit about someone, and then your phone would fucking drop you in the grease and the pits one time, twice in a row. We were talking shit about him?
SPEAKER_00No, well, I was uh my ex-girlfriend, not this one, the last one, was like, how's it going out there? And I was like, It sucks. This company's piece of shit, and it takes a gig fence. And I was like, Oh, sorry, and he's like, lol. And then and then I uh she said something else. I'm like, yeah, no, I'm not getting it sucks. And it's like, do it. Dude, I think our phones used to get us.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, they did. It hasn't happened. Maybe is it because of karma and I'm a better person? No, you're not gonna be able to get a lot of people. Technology's better.
SPEAKER_00But it was a common thing. Was it on your computer or on your phone?
SPEAKER_01My phone.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Uh and I haven't got one of those texts in a while where someone's talking shit about me. Which that should happen.
SPEAKER_00I remember do that.
SPEAKER_01Right. I'm I I started when I was thinking about this subject, I started thinking, I was like, how many of my friends are partial friends or acquaintances actually only listen so they can hate and talk shit? I I want to know about it because they like I I don't want you to think I care that you have hilarious criticism. I want to bask in it. Shit on shit on me. Shit on me. I'm like an Indian man in a portable toilet in the public park.
SPEAKER_00Shit on me. You want that. Maybe that's why you're not getting it. Maybe that's why.
SPEAKER_01Maybe that's why. What about Ryan Braithwaite? What was going on? He's beefing. They got Uveldi restaurant wars. Who is Lupita? Lupita's kitchen is plate sales. Okay, like online. But they're like established plate sales. Like they got a cater menu, plate sales, they got it going on.
SPEAKER_00They're like Joe Tom level.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I guess so. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Anyway, what happened?
SPEAKER_01I don't know. I just saw this clip of Oh, that was her yelling at him. Well, it's branded from the point of who's being yelled at. The video I saw was branded as Lupita's kitchen.
SPEAKER_00He's like, you bitch.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and then Chef Ryan's like hanging out of his uh F-150 that has a Chef Ryan sticker on it.
SPEAKER_00That's a bad move. Don't ever talk shit with a company on your upside of your car. It is problematic. I happened to meet sometimes. One time I almost hit this dude and he was cussing at me, and that he had like a window thing. I'm like, is that your company? Because I'm never gonna go there. I'm gonna tell everyone I know not to go there. He didn't care. Damn. He still did not care. Damn. He still cussed me out.
SPEAKER_01Damn.
SPEAKER_00Cocksucker.
SPEAKER_01What was the company? City of Evelyn? I forgot.
SPEAKER_00Some white dude. No. He almost hit my kid. Like, I didn't even come close to hitting your kid. Oh, anyway, so yeah, we saw a video of him uh yelling at some lady. Yeah, he's a kid. But it was from her per se perspective, like she might have done something.
SPEAKER_01And it was obviously clipped because it didn't escalate to the point of him calling her a bitch and him and her calling him disgusting without a whole lot of other stuff. And the video is only like eight seconds long.
SPEAKER_00The point of I'm trying to make is don't do this road rage shit. It's not worth it.
SPEAKER_01Road rage is not worth it.
SPEAKER_00You get shot.
SPEAKER_01I do honk it. I did honk it someone like three times yesterday because they were a moron.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I was pretending I was gonna ram somebody the other day because they fucking wonder. It can't help myself, bud.
SPEAKER_01Uh so I like that square body has the train horns on it. Which one? The blue.
SPEAKER_00The window transmission's out? Yeah. Yeah. When when was it was that was before that, I guess. Yeah. God, we need LSP. Who can do it?
SPEAKER_01I can.
SPEAKER_00Why wouldn't you like it?
SPEAKER_01I don't have four score in seven years to drive my truck around.
SPEAKER_00All we gotta do, buy the parts. I'll put it in in a week and a half. Doubtful. I can do it, bud. I've done it before. I hear you. I hear you. Maybe a month.
SPEAKER_01Well, what's the scout update, bud? We were we were you're supposed to be having it by uh September the 1st.
SPEAKER_00No, no. They they started working on it the other day last week. Um they said it's not gonna take very long. I was hoping to get an update by tomorrow. Nice. But they're gonna they're painting it, they're doing all the bodywork. I trust these guys. They have five five-star review on uh Google. Nice. And they have a couple of locations. Uh oh, you think it's what it is? I hope.
SPEAKER_01If I asked my family to go give any of my businesses a five-star review, like most of them would just get a fake account and shit on me, I think.
SPEAKER_00Shit on you? You think Alec would do that?
SPEAKER_01No.
SPEAKER_00No. No. You think your mom would do that? Yeah, she'd be like, No, she wouldn't.
SPEAKER_01Uh what happened at Golden Chick, but they spit up.
SPEAKER_00They got my fucking order wrong.
SPEAKER_01How do you get an order wrong?
SPEAKER_00I order the same thing. Can I get a tender salad? They're like, yeah. So I give it to me, I get home, it's just a salad, no tenders. So I go back, I walk in with my back and I go, hey, I got a tender salad, there's no fucking tenders. And they give me a box of tenders.
SPEAKER_01Bro, that is the universe sending you a message. You've been on your goddamn bad bandwagon about these salads for two weeks. Not a bandwagon, just I've been doing it. Well, you're like highbrowing everyone. I am not I've been having salads.
SPEAKER_00You're eating fried chicken salads. Do you think I'm doing that? I'm just doing it and telling you what I'm doing. I'm not highbrowing anyone.
SPEAKER_01Well, basically the message from the universe was is how about you try it without the fried chicken, my friend. And I said no. And I respect that. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00I like those tenders are good.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00I might have that tonight.
SPEAKER_01Well, you I think the way to say that is I had tenders, but from my side, I had salad. Yeah, I had leavy greens.
SPEAKER_00They only give you two tenders. They do give me a little bit of gas.
SPEAKER_01Is it only two tenders on the salad?
SPEAKER_00Mm-hmm. Yeah, they're like this big. They're good though, bud.
unknownGod.
SPEAKER_01They might have some, they might have the best tenders in town. I had uh the fried fish from there the other night. How's that? No light and crispy. It's good. Have you ever been to Fred's Fish Fry? Um I've seen them my whole life. I've never been. I've always wanted to go, and I don't think I may have gone one time with Ray March. Shout out, Ray. Shout out with us anymore, but shout out heaven. If Ray was still here, he would be at this dealership every day hanging out. He just loves him.
SPEAKER_00Oh, really? I love this kind of shit. Is that his dad?
SPEAKER_01Marches, yeah. Yeah. Shout out, Marches. Uh that's what I know, bud. That's a golden chick. But yeah, but Fred's.
SPEAKER_00I would go to Fred's. But Fred's fish fry. I think to get a box of fries and fish is like six dollars.
SPEAKER_01But it's a square fish. Like it's a filaleo fish.
SPEAKER_00But I and I think they said they own all of their uh they own all the land and all that stuff. So they can they can just load the and they don't have uh advertising budget. So they don't advertise anywhere, they just have like a thousand locations. They have more than one. I didn't I thought they only had one.
SPEAKER_01I didn't know they had multiple.
SPEAKER_00Really? I think so. They got plenty of them. They're filthy with them.
SPEAKER_01It's like a ghetto fish place.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I'm in. It looks good though.
SPEAKER_00I'm gonna try it one.
SPEAKER_01I would I would go there. I bet it's a place with a I bet it's so good they have a line. So I probably won't go there.
SPEAKER_00No, there's no line. I better not fucking be. But every time I go, I I'm like, I want to go there. Then I'm like, or should I go to this Vietnamese place with awesome pho? I'm like, well, I'm gonna go there. There you go. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Uh dude, some of the servers at Sonic have a lot of hustle in them. Dude, not some of them, all of them. Really? Is it all?
SPEAKER_00They're all busting their fucking ass. I wish I would have the dog shit out of those bastards.
SPEAKER_01I will say there's pretty much always a happy person at the uh they're happy.
SPEAKER_00I'm saying they're hustling. Yeah. But they do stay, they stand at my window like I'm gonna give them a tip. I'm not doing that. I I tip it, Sonic. I tip on my app, on the app. Can you tip on the app? It says keep the chain 17 cents, it's all yours. Golly. Don't spend it all in one place.
SPEAKER_01I hope you live to 107 like your Jewish grandmother.
SPEAKER_00She might have been Jewish. She was half. Uh no,
Fast Food Apps, Points, And Tips
SPEAKER_00I gave him a dollar today. It was free because I have so many points. It was uh free. And then they fucked up my order and gave me two, so I gave him a dollar. Shut out.
SPEAKER_01I just feel like anybody who has fast food credit points. It's like having Marlboro Miles. That's a bad sign, man. Isn't it a bad sign?
SPEAKER_00I go to McDonald's every morning, get a biscuit and have the I have so many points. Do you get do you order on the app? No, you go, you this is a fucked up deal. You get in all the all the places you're doing this now. You pull up to the drive thru and they're like, Would you like to use your mobile app? And I'm like, Yes. And then the code pops up and you give them the code. And they're like, Oh, Matthew, your order, you're ordering. You're ready for your order. What what are you? What is this? Which doctor shit you're telling me?
SPEAKER_01I'll explain it to you in perfectly. You pull up to the box. Yes, sir.
SPEAKER_00And they say, Would you like to use the first words out of the mouth are Would you like to use your mobile app? I say yes. I look at my phone, a code pops up, I give them the code.
SPEAKER_01Because it like Bluetooth to your phone or something? I don't know how they do it. So they just got access to your phone. They can put numbers on your phone. Yeah, basically. 6969. Here you go. Piss up.
SPEAKER_00And it changes every time. Yeah. And then they were like, we're ready for your order. I order, they get the points, I get my food. What's wrong with that?
SPEAKER_01Oh my god.
SPEAKER_00What? We're all doomed. I have I love it. I have so many points. It's the fail of society. And sometimes I'll just I'll I'll have the points for a free breakfast. I'm like, nah, I'll pay this time. I'll save it for next time.
SPEAKER_01I mean, I I guess I'm over here being a judgy McJudgerson, but I have the Starbucks. I've had that since day first. And I load the money in it because it's the easiest way to pay.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, you just put give it on your phone.
SPEAKER_01And occasionally I'll actually order with the app. Oh, I never do that. Uh if I'm staying at a hotel that has a Starbucks in it, it's a real Starbucks. Yeah. When I'm gonna go and get a cup, I'll order it when I leave my room and I'll try to time it that the cup is ready by the time I get down there. That's when I'll do it.
SPEAKER_00Um here you order on the app, it takes forever.
SPEAKER_01I went in last Saturday and I ordered the big jug, like the gives you eight or twelve, eight ounce, like a 96 ounce to go of coffee. Betrinta. Is that what it's called? Yeah. And uh I pulled up to the window and I ordered that, and they're like, Oh, that's gonna be like 15 minutes. Oof. I said, okay. I I was early. It was it was like 6:30 in the morning, and I was gonna be at the office by 7 30. Here? Yeah, yeah, here in Uvalde. And it's when I had those cinnamon rolls and stuff, so I want to get the coffee. Delicious. And uh, I was driving my El Camino, I had my dog with me, and it's America. Hell yeah. Tommy Taylor's dad. That's right. And they were the girls like, Oh, I like your car, it's a cool dog. I was like, Yeah, it is. How are you doing? She's like, 15 minutes for your coffee. And so I pulled up there and I turned my car off because I don't have air conditioner or anything. And it wasn't. It's just a it's a machine at that point. It's just a machine, yeah. I turned it off and sat there, and it wasn't 15 minutes, but it was close. And they brought me the coffee and then I peeled out a sending. Did you care? Yeah. Nice dude. It was pretty great. That's like the best thing ever. But I I didn't pay with my app that time. I paid with my credit card because I was buying it for the guys.
SPEAKER_00You peeled off, and I'm like, look at that stupid bastard paying with a credit card.
SPEAKER_01Hope his dog falls off.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01You think the shit the cats, the all the stray cats take a shit in the volleyball court at Sonic? That's my other thing.
SPEAKER_00I think they do. I think they do. I think they do. There's a lot of people playing volleyball.
SPEAKER_01This is a minefield. Dude, it has to be. Also, over there at Memorial Park where they have the big volleyball courts, there's a hell of stray cats over there. They're shitting, dude. They're just shitting. And pissing. And people are in there playing barefoot. That's why they got the ringworm. You can get a ringworm, dude. Ringworm.
SPEAKER_00You got a callus? You're getting a ringworm.
SPEAKER_01You got a ring door camera? No, I got a ringworm. Do you you know at the Catholic Church y'all have the prayers of the people? No. Is it? The Episcopal Church they have prayers of the people. Okay. We don't do that. And you can get put on the prayer list.
SPEAKER_00We don't do that.
SPEAKER_01And sometimes they'll say the names out loud, like somebody. No. Oh. But I think it would like has anyone ever put joke names on the prayer list? Like Mike Hunt? Yeah. Howie Feltersnatch.
SPEAKER_00I Googled them. I'm like, who's Howie? I'm like, oh, it's a joke. Um probably. That's like back when uh what's his name? The guy on the radio. Who was his name here in town? You know, tall skinny guy. Wade? Yeah, he would do the birthdays or whatever. They say it's your birthday. No, no, no, no. Dude, I love it. Yeah. My brother did it one time when it wasn't his birthday. My mom slapped the shit out of him. Yeah, dude, she was pissed. He's like, Why are you so mad?
SPEAKER_01Hey, we got your mom approved of the logo. She said she liked it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, she said it's cool.
SPEAKER_01And so you said we've officially been.
SPEAKER_00You're part of Arrasa.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00Shout out Martine Pitts. Shout out. What is Flight Time? What do you mean? There's a company here at the airport called Flight Time. So you know about this.
SPEAKER_01I think if you want to charter uh a flight somewhere privately, or if you have an airplane that you want managed, I believe that's what they do.
SPEAKER_00And I've was like, there's some people I know from Evaldi who are into this thing. Really? Yeah. People who work there. I'm like, what is this? So it's a charter thing. Who works on there? That well, that tennis lady's daughter.
SPEAKER_01Shout out, tennis lady's daughter. What's up, tennis lady's daughter?
SPEAKER_00We saw her son the other day, too. Shout out tennis lady's son. Remember? Yeah, I hope. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Uh, that's funny. Yeah, moving back to the show.
SPEAKER_00Shout out, Flytime.
SPEAKER_01They should sponsor us. Shout out George Franklin. Visit with us. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00George Franklin. What did he say? Anything funny? No, he was just telling us about what was going on. He wasn't going out to San Antonio. Gotta go to San Antonio. What's that? Uh, let me read your thing.
Big Weight Loss And Booze Tolerance
SPEAKER_00Theory. If a woman or maybe a man too goes from kind of fat or fat to thin, I think they lose their fucking mind along with all their weight.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, they go like comatose. When people go from overweight to what they're supposed to be, and what you're supposed to be is way skinnier than you think.
SPEAKER_00Oh, dude.
SPEAKER_01Like almost everyone's overweight.
SPEAKER_00You're supposed to weigh 150. That's supposed to be half of what I am now.
SPEAKER_01I'm supposed to weigh 180.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And well, you don't. And uh and I don't even and and that was like the high end. And it was like, I weigh I got to 183 one time a couple years ago.
SPEAKER_00Ooh.
SPEAKER_01And people were asking me if I if my cancer was I thought you had AIDS. Yeah, people are like, how sick are you?
SPEAKER_00You're like pretty fucking sick. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And uh, but if you go from being a 220-pound person to a 140-pound person, like if you lose big weight, and I'm really kind of saying this for the ladies, but I think it's a men too. When all that weight's gone, your fucking mind goes with it. You lost it.
SPEAKER_00Not with me. I lost I went from 270 to 190. I was bouncing off the walls. They were telling me to come down. I was like a fucking firecracker.
SPEAKER_01So I kind of when I lost all my weight, I kind of lost my mind because I was still in my drinking days.
unknownOh.
SPEAKER_01And all of a sudden, like I was able to always I could drink a case of beer and I could be the designated driver. It would settle in your own. Yeah, it was 340 pounds. Yeah. And I could I could drink a case of beer and be the driver.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_01And I wouldn't drink it real fast, but I could drink two beers an hour for 12 hours.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And uh, no problem. And I lost all that weight, and I could drink 10 beers in five hours, and I'd be blackout drunk. That's how you're supposed to be. That's how you're supposed to be.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01But I would lose my mind because I would be belligerently blackout drunk.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Uh Clint, uh, Clint can drink like that and still say, still say kind of on his game. I think he hasn't been doing it for so long.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I think it's you know, because like he worked, he used to work at Outback and you couldn't drink there, and he would just go to the bathroom and drink chemicals. Yeah, so he build up a tolerance. Shout out!
SPEAKER_00Shout out, Clint. Shout out to Outback, Bloomin' Fun, yeah. I went one time, uh, he's I was like, I was I wasn't doing anything, and I was like, You want to hang out? He's like, Yeah, well, I gotta work. I was like, Well, I'll go hang out. He's like, at Outback? I'm like, Yeah. And he his friend was there, and I knew him too. He just served me like the beers that other people like returned or didn't want. Dude, they found me in the bathroom. I was fast out in the bathroom like at 11:30. I was like, Where's Ox?
SPEAKER_01Oh man, it's good old days. Good old days. Drinking a bunch of booze. You miss it, bud? Yeah, well, let's just go to Apple Hop after this and get a bunch of shots and pancakes. I'm I'm down, bud. I'm down.
SPEAKER_00Uh new segment. New segment? Oh, yeah. I'm gonna do this new segment. Prayers for Baxter. Let's both say an on-air prayer for Baxter, uh, because he uh he wrecked you valley with the solar farms. God bless Baxter. Please come home. It's not all your fault, bud. They will forgive you. We'll forgive you, bud. Amen.
SPEAKER_01He just built all those water gaps around the solar farm so that because he knew the flood was coming. Baxter, that's all your fault. Why don't you build a fucking arc, bud? Shout out, Baxter.
SPEAKER_00You probably should. Shout out, Baxter. Can you build an arc out of a chain link fence?
SPEAKER_01Uh, how long have we done? But I forgot we were on camera and I've been looking at you the whole time. So it's fine. Hopefully, I didn't get the fat side of my face. 54 minutes. 54 minutes. We got six minutes ago.
SPEAKER_00We're not even done.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, we are. We powered through this.
SPEAKER_00Oh, let's just go off the cuff and then what's up, bud? Wow. We're gonna send me a halfway across the country on this flight. Do I need two seats?
SPEAKER_01I think you'll fit uncomfortably.
SPEAKER_00That's fine. Uncomfortable for the person next to me.
SPEAKER_01The thing about it is, is the drive is almost 1,400 miles.
SPEAKER_00I'm down, bud.
SPEAKER_01And so if you're gonna go there, it's essentially a day and a half. I mean, you could do it in a day, but it then you're done, you're toast. It's not I drive 1400 miles in a day. I subscribe to the fact that if you're in an automobile, about a thousand miles is the most. I mean 1200 is probably the most I've ever done.
SPEAKER_00I I'm not used to I used to drive a truck, but I'm not used to driving long distance. I drive like five, four or five hours a day. That's my long trip, and then I would do stops and then drive like 200 back. So when I drove to Florida the other day, it was uh it was a haul. It was like 895. Yeah. I was like, I was done.
SPEAKER_01And then I think that's about the normal person is about an 800-mile. Yeah, because you're going to you're on 80 the whole time. So so let's just say it's takes some you know two days to go up there and then just be two days coming back, and you'd have to haul the car. Yeah, give it a workout. But you can fly up there for a couple hundred bucks and then you're there in a day.
SPEAKER_00It just makes more sense.
SPEAKER_01It makes more sense.
SPEAKER_00I'm down, it's fine. I haven't been to I haven't been in a plane in 20 years.
SPEAKER_01I hope they let you on. When's the last where's the last place you've got to go?
SPEAKER_00Let me on. Back to San Antonio from Dallas.
SPEAKER_01I was blackout drunk too. I'm dad picked me up. What's wrong with you? What if you're on the no-fly list and you don't even know it because you got all belligerent made to ass of yourself 20 years ago?
SPEAKER_00No, no, I I knew this. And they told me they were like, You we know you're drunk. Just don't don't make any sudden moves. Or like, don't misbehave. And I and I was like, I I think I can hold together. And I did, and then as soon as I got off the plane, I started kissing out my brother, you cocksucker. Was your brother with you? He was with me. It was my dad and him. And I was he just said something off like just pissed me off. Yeah, asshole bastard. I haven't heard from Duncan. He wants me to work on his can M. Really? Yeah, put some lights or some stuff on it.
SPEAKER_01I'll I'll charge him uh mechanics rate. I'll send him a bill.
SPEAKER_00It's exactly what he didn't want to happen. You're going down, prick. I think he listens. My parents are on the way back from Florida, then they stopped at a waffle house. My dad's like, we gotta stop. Matt talked about it all the time on the podcast. So they liked it. What'd they get? Uh just the value meal and whatever bullshit of the phone. They don't I don't think they like grits. Uh we like grits though.
SPEAKER_01I think that should be our like we should make a sticker.
SPEAKER_00But what?
SPEAKER_01Negpod. Mexicans don't like grits.
SPEAKER_00I love them though.
SPEAKER_01Oh, you do?
SPEAKER_00Yeah. I put butter and tabasco.
SPEAKER_01Ooh, I like to put butter and sugar on mine.
SPEAKER_00You're a fucking, I can't say that on mine.
SPEAKER_01It's like that cream I wheat. That cream I wheat.
SPEAKER_00Oh, dude. I'd use Tabasco and butter. Yeah. You put butter?
SPEAKER_01I saw Baxter's dirty ass was at uh Waffle House the other day. He didn't go every day. And he had a the bowl of grits, and he had him just drop a dirty slice of American cheese, like a square slice on it, and then he was gonna mix it up and have cheese grits. I've seen him do that. It was new to me. I hadn't seen it before. I mean it tastes pretty good. It's probably all right. Cheese.
SPEAKER_00Are you are you sure there wasn't uh smothered and covered hash browns?
SPEAKER_01I like smothered and covered hash browns.
SPEAKER_00What is that like covered as like mushroom caps or something?
SPEAKER_01So your parents just got like eggs in a waffle or something? Yeah. And they said it was okay. They said it was good. It was good. When you go to Florida, there's one every exit. Dude, there's too many. You can't not stop at a Waffle House.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Like uh that fishback dude, he's obsessed with them.
SPEAKER_01Who?
SPEAKER_00James Fishback, the guy running for governor over there.
SPEAKER_01Oh, really?
SPEAKER_00His name's Fishback, and he's not Jewish.
SPEAKER_01Damn. I was imagining Lawrence Fishburne. I was like, I bet he does like Waffle House.
SPEAKER_00Why would you say that?
SPEAKER_01Because he's a seems like a smart guy.
SPEAKER_00Uh, and you see any good movies, bud? Are you gonna go to the See of the Odyssey?
SPEAKER_01I want to see the Odyssey. I'm gonna wait till my son's back. He wants to see it. I think that'll be something we all go do together or something.
SPEAKER_00He can be like, oh, this guy's trends.
SPEAKER_01I gotta take this little prick back to school shopping next weekend.
SPEAKER_00When does school start?
SPEAKER_01Uh Uvalde kids go back the 10th, and I think Brackettville kids the 13th or 14th or something.
SPEAKER_00Oh, okay. Oh, it's coming up.
SPEAKER_01It's coming up, it's right around the corner.
SPEAKER_00Tomorrow the 31st.
SPEAKER_01It is. So a week from Monday, Uvaldi kids will be back in school.
unknownWow.
SPEAKER_01Getting that good education. And they're gonna be listening to our podcast. Shout out, NegPod.
SPEAKER_00Shout out. Anyone can listen. It's not against the law.
SPEAKER_01See my daughter Olivia. Give her a high five. Shout out.
SPEAKER_00Shout out.
Sponsors, Shoutouts, And Closing
SPEAKER_00I guess we have just enough time to do our sponsors, bud. Why don't you roll down up there? So I don't because I forgot. Shout out Ziggy's uh Tagodermia, we're Marsh Lane, Victoria During, or one of our guests. Um Ruby's Lounge, uh Renee and Dakota, the two hardest working people in New Valley. I say every fucking time because it's true.
SPEAKER_01Have you hit their food truck yet? Which turns out? There's someone parked right there at Ruby's.
SPEAKER_00Oh, Sapphire? Yeah. What are the hours? When's it open? I think there's open. I'm sorry, Renee, but I think they're open during uh during the when the bar's open. I don't know. I'm sorry, Renee. I'll uh next time I'll figure this out. Why'd you put me on the spot?
SPEAKER_01Because I just didn't know if you'd eaten there yet. No, I haven't. Why? I'm just curious.
SPEAKER_00I haven't eaten there. I haven't we've only went that one time.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I thought you might just be like dirty and just go by there and pick some up. I bet you can order like app. They're smart. I bet they got an app or something on there. I bet. Uh what about how about wings stop we ever go there? I've been there like once. I went inside there one time.
SPEAKER_00You stopped going there. I was just telling you when we should have gone when we had to flood. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01They were dry. How do you like your wings? Dry.
SPEAKER_00They were just looking at us like you stupid bastards.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. They sure were looking down up on us from their hill. Their hilltop. Well, we parked our trailer in your parking lot, you fuckers. How about shout out A1, Fire and Safety? Thank you, John and Brad. I'll tell you what, these guys are glad it quit raining. Now something may catch on fire and you'll need them.
SPEAKER_00God, that's true.
SPEAKER_01That's true.
SPEAKER_00Wait, is it just Brad and John or some other people involved?
SPEAKER_01Uh it's a big, big company, but Brad and John are the ones that hold it together. Oh, okay. They're the local boys that keep you from burning up.
SPEAKER_00I like that. Those floors guys, man, they're all about it.
SPEAKER_01I tell you who could have used A1 Fire and Safety, that'd be the guy from uh Uvaldi Bargain Deals. His truck caught on fire.
SPEAKER_00Was that that big fire out there?
SPEAKER_01I saw that's a couple weeks ago. I think his truck caught on fire.
SPEAKER_00Where at?
SPEAKER_01He was driving around with all these smoking hot deals in his truck. Oh fuck. Campbell Fabrication. Thank you, Connor. Shout out, Connor. If you need some uh counterfeit artifacts, Connor, I'm kidding.
SPEAKER_00It was a joke, dude.
SPEAKER_01Uh all types of fencing, metal building, trash hauling. If you need some trash haul, give Connor a shout. Don't call me. Don't say hey McNew Volunteer. I'm not you, Chunk. We're friends. But don't say, hey, McNew, can you help me? Because call Connor.
SPEAKER_00I can't believe he came begging, but oh please. Oh, please.
SPEAKER_01I tell you what. When Chunk called me, all I could think of, I said, This is the man of the people. This is the man that puts on Lingua in the park. He's he's he he feeds the kids of the junior college.
SPEAKER_00And not and he's they can't think without him.
SPEAKER_01He told me that he's actually like displaced. He wasn't complaining.
SPEAKER_00No.
SPEAKER_01He's like, usually this is my slow time. We don't have anything going on, but we have a bunch of these volunteers that are down assisting with uh flood response that are staying at the college because the dorms are empty. He said, so we're feeding them and they're feeding them breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And uh so shout out, John. Well, we go eat breakfast and we go out there and help him, and he gives us tacos. What are the chances I eat one? 100%.
SPEAKER_01100% uh just give a little shout out to Manny at Garza's auto detail.
SPEAKER_00Hello, Manny. Thank you for everything you do. That's right. We got a stinky old truck though out there who might need some attention to. Shout out. Oh, and shout out the Mena's, uh I'm talking tank, Steven, uh, Big Dog, and the Trevino clan, Austin, um, David, all those guys. That's it.
SPEAKER_01There was somebody else I was gonna shout out, and now I can't remember.
SPEAKER_00Think of it, bud. It's important that you do that.
SPEAKER_01It is. Shout out, Kent. Shout out Martine. And Martine.
SPEAKER_00I got his ringtone going.
SPEAKER_01Oh, you did get his ringtone? Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00I want him to come on.
SPEAKER_01He'll be here.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01It'll be when we actually have something to talk about and we don't want him. That's when he'll be here. That's how it always works.
SPEAKER_00He'll show up and it's butt-in.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, oh, but in ski.
SPEAKER_00What else you got, bud? Why don't you put that card up to the camera?
SPEAKER_01I'd like to have a guest on soon. Connor said he'd be willing to come tell us about Indian stuff.
SPEAKER_00There you go, Connor. Yeah, I do. I wanted to hear about that.
SPEAKER_01I do want to hear about it. I'm gonna be like, oh God, shut up. Fuck.
SPEAKER_00Get out of here. No, I don't know. I want to hear about it. All right, bud, what else you got? That's it. All right. We'll see y'all next time. See ya.