Negpod
It’s a comedy podcast with all the trimmings. Featuring your old pals, Ox and The Talent!
Negpod
Ep. 53
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The moment your car needs a monthly subscription to use the remote start, you realize something bigger is going on. We’re back in the shop talking the messy middle of modern life: building a small used truck dealership website so people stop walking in when we’re closed, juggling work stress, and trying to keep our sanity when customers, notifications, and errands all pile up at once.
From there, it turns into a surprisingly relatable tour of everyday decisions. Pizza night becomes a case study in family logistics and preferences, then we argue crust styles and chain quality like it’s serious business. We also make the case for bird watching as the ultimate low-cost hobby, because all you need is binoculars and an excuse to go anywhere.
Then we hit the heavy stuff with a light touch: lifestyle inflation, leftovers, cooking for one, and how the subscription economy sneaks into everything from streaming to vehicles. We talk data centers, modern convenience fees, and the feeling that “simple” is starting to look like a luxury. We also react to sudden disaster news and how people try to process tragedy in real time, before ending on nostalgia with cassette tapes and The Simpsons.
If you like unfiltered shop talk with real-life money lessons and a lot of side quests, hit play. Subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review telling us the one subscription you’d cancel first.
Sponsored by:
Ziggy’s Taxidermy
ziggystaxidermy.com
Ruby’s Lounge, Uvalde, TX
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River City Bail Bonds
A-1 Fire and Safety
Connor Kimball
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Back Again With Sponsor Shoutouts
SPEAKER_01And we're back. What's up, Mango?
SPEAKER_02What's up?
SPEAKER_01What'd you shout out? I'd say, what's up? I don't know. Ooh, woohoo! Yeah. We're back. I thought I just wanted to get one in here because all our diehard listeners are ready for another one. They're ready for another beatdown brain ride. That's it, bud. What's been going on? Oh, shout out our sponsor. Ziggy's uh taxidermy over my marshallane. I finally they finally posted a video of them doing taxidermy. It was pretty good. Oh okay. That's what that's what I want to see.
SPEAKER_02That access deer?
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02It was nice, wasn't it? Yeah. And they stitched it. They didn't like use staples or whatever. Is that what they use?
SPEAKER_01Usually staples?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I've got some some that are stapled.
SPEAKER_01That looks like chip, bud. Not compared to that, it does. He said, What are you learning how to sew? Is the your grandmother?
SPEAKER_02Oh.
SPEAKER_01Because you did a great job.
SPEAKER_02You did a great job.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Is that like a family business? Like his sons and his grand, his daughters are gonna do that when they get older.
SPEAKER_02Uh I don't know.
SPEAKER_01I don't know. I don't know. That's a weird business. Ziggy, let us know how you got into that. And what else you stuffed out there in South Africa. Like a zebra. Uh oh anyway, shout out her or them and Victoria During, of course. Shout out Ruby's Lounge, Renee Dakota, the two hearts bringing Plugin Uvalny. I can't go there, dude. I think I have I think I have high blood pressure. I cannot drink one more beer or one more cigarette. Checking off. That's uh shout out A1 Firing Safety. That's from Brad. He came by and gave us that. Shout out, Brad. A1 Fire and Safety. They're all paid up. Aren't you, Brad? All paid up. And uh Kimball fabricating. Shout out, Connor, the old con artist. He needs to come in here. We need to get him in. Has he paid? Oh, yeah. Okay, good. I like how you have all the money. I I need it for the show, bud. You need to send me this money. There is no money. What are you talking about? I thought you said you paid. He didn't. Where the fuck is it? It's in my drawer. Dairy Queen has it?
SPEAKER_02Not yet. That's a good idea.
SPEAKER_01You cocksucker. Okay, well, what's today? Thursday? Damn, dude. That's a long day.
SPEAKER_02Today was working on that website. Taking pictures. I see you're driving the blazer around, bud.
SPEAKER_01Driving the whole blazer, but how's it running? Runs nice. I think I thought the transmission was having a problem, but I think it's gonna need to be warmed up.
SPEAKER_02Now it runs like a dream. Just let that hog. Like a wet dream, bud. What about the blinkers and stuff? You got that for yet? No.
unknownNo.
SPEAKER_01I'm gonna do it on this fucking website. I'm gonna do one more truck tomorrow, and then that's it. And then I'm doing blinkers, other stuff. Um everything else. Yeah. My truck's coming in the shop too tomorrow, isn't it? Shout out. Yes, thank you, Connors, Dad. Get that old flatbed. Ooh, I'm gonna take it to Florida next week. Ooh, what a treat. Run over some fucking homeless people with it. I'm kidding. Fuck. Oh. Ox. Shout out our listeners. Yeah, what's up?
SPEAKER_02What's the deal, man? I've been so busy this week, I don't have any content. I don't have any notes, really.
SPEAKER_01Freeballing.
SPEAKER_02We're just out here for the people. We got nothing to say. What's this pizza
The Pizza Plan And Kid Requests
SPEAKER_02problem stuff? I got a pizza problem. What's that? I'm I'm doing dinner tonight, and I said, you know what? I'm ordering pizza. Nice, dude. I hit the old family group text. I said, Hey, I'll be picking up from practice, and I've got dinner covered. I'm ordering pizza. And then the kids, I'll tell you what, nothing. Well, they're like, what? Exactly. Nothing makes your life as happy as what uh as it is in a commercial, is when you tell five kids that you're bringing pizza.
SPEAKER_01Whoa, yeah. We love you. Yeah. Shout out. Thanks, Dad. Where are you getting it from? Um, what's it called? The one in the gas station?
SPEAKER_00What fuck you, Dad?
SPEAKER_02So one of the kids hit me back with a request little can we have little Caesars, please? Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I don't really want little Caesars. No, little Caesars sucks, dude. It's I mean, it used to be okay.
SPEAKER_02Now it sucks. I'm not gonna sit here and trash little Caesars. There's been many a time where I was like, I needed 10 $5 pizzas. Oh, yeah. And I need them now. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Hot and ready. Which hot and ready?
SPEAKER_02But today. I've got the uh opportunity to plan better than hot and ready.
SPEAKER_01You used to get a pizza hut or what button? What do you what do you think? Can I tell you a secret? Tell me. I'm getting pizza tonight too.
SPEAKER_02Where are you getting it from?
unknownYo Hud.
SPEAKER_01Are you a HUD or HUD? Yeah. What's your order? A thin crust. Uh Supreme. Oh, Supreme. That's too much shit for me. Supreme. You don't like it?
SPEAKER_02It sounds great, but then you get it. It's got that. Don't get a twiggy flop. Give me that soggy flop. No, I want I want my thin and crispy. I want it cr crispy.
SPEAKER_01Do you like that tavern style?
SPEAKER_02Uh do they have that at the hut? They sure as fuck do. I like to a lot of the times I'll get dominoes and I'll get one thin and crispy and then one Brooklyn style. And those that's a great comment. Brooklyn style.
SPEAKER_01Is that Jewish style? Shout out our Jewish friends.
SPEAKER_02It's just a it's thinner than hand tossed, but thicker than thin and crispy, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Tavern is even fucking thinner than thin crust. What? It's like a fucking cracker, dude. And it's gone. And it's so good.
SPEAKER_02But you don't get it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I get it.
SPEAKER_02Is that what you're getting in the night?
SPEAKER_01I have to get a large though. My baby.
SPEAKER_02Are you buying pizza for your family or going out of town, bud? So it's just you? Just me and the dogs.
SPEAKER_01God, your parents go out of town. Where are they going? They went to like hang out with my my brother out in San Antonio.
SPEAKER_02It's almost like they live with you. Instead of you living with them, they're never home.
SPEAKER_01Never home, bud.
SPEAKER_02And if this other deal works out, I'm never coming home.
SPEAKER_01Sorry, Mom and Dad.
SPEAKER_02What about squatters rides? Do you think you could lock them out?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I could. I told my dad today. He was complaining about something. Oh, shout out, Dad. Uh, you're I'm gonna post this thing here. George Martinez. Um, he was complaining, he wanted something. And I was like, the only thing you're gonna want is for me to feed you when you're older, and it fucking ain't happening. So you better start being nice to me.
SPEAKER_02Man, what if we can get a deal on the on the room at the nursing home and we can put uh your dad and my mom in the same room and be like, I don't care what you do with them.
SPEAKER_01Oh gosh, that sounds like a fucking awesome plan.
SPEAKER_02Shout out. They're like, you know what I will do for them? What I'm gonna get on Facebook Marketplace and I'm gonna find a really annoying bird someone's getting rid of. Oh god. And then I'm gonna go, look what I got y'all. I got y'all this bird, and then I'm gonna leave.
SPEAKER_01That's why whenever you start getting you know you're getting dementia, this is what I'm gonna do. If I feel that I'm just gonna go under like a lift for a car and just drop that cocksucker right in my head. So there's no, you can't, you can there's no like uh what is it? Cure. Might as well just get the fuck out of to Dodge.
SPEAKER_02Uh I got in a fight with my wife the other day because she was telling me a bunch of important things.
SPEAKER_01And then hit me that eagle. I'm gonna hold it while you tell this story.
SPEAKER_02At about minute 39 of important things, yeah. Uh my phone started blowing up. And I looked at my phone. And then that and that didn't that oh you know, that fucking pissed her off. I was kind of just done listening, and I was like, it's time for this now. And so then that didn't really go over well. It made me laugh.
Bird Watching As The Escape Hobby
SPEAKER_02And then we we went to dinner afterwards, uh-huh and we were sitting there, and I was looking out the window at dinner, and I said, You know, yeah, I figured out why bird watching used to be so popular.
SPEAKER_01She's like, Where the fuck is this going?
SPEAKER_02Because some guy was at home in ye olden days, and his wife was just rambling on about something that that got her goat, and the guy was sitting there and was like, God damn, I don't know what to do anymore.
SPEAKER_01And then he would go, Common crow, a warbler. That's where that started.
SPEAKER_02Now, yeah, that's where it started. Now we have phones, so we don't give a shit about birds. Like birds aren't real, but we have phones.
SPEAKER_01Birds are fake. So that's my uh I think Riggins used to watch birds. I try to get into it. I I always get them, I always get it wrong. I'm like, that's wrong.
SPEAKER_02Bird watching is the ultimate hobby. You can be a bird watcher, you can go anywhere in the world. Birds, you have an excuse to go anywhere.
SPEAKER_01What about West Texas?
SPEAKER_02You don't have to take anything with you except binoculars. Yeah, you don't have to take golf clubs, you don't have to take a scuba diver deal, you don't have to take a fucking gun, you don't have to nothing.
SPEAKER_01You could take a notebook and a pen, and you you'll feel better. You'd be like, This is all I need. This is all I need. My and my binos. Yeah, that's it.
SPEAKER_02And I said a binos. I always said, like, if you're some kind of pedophile traveling the world, you know, there's some of those. It's under the cover of bird watching.
SPEAKER_01We're going to Mexico for bird watching.
SPEAKER_02Thailand.
SPEAKER_01Oh, yeah, Thailand. Well, isn't the capital of bird watching in in like Laredo or something?
SPEAKER_02Uh that is a Konkian.
SPEAKER_01I think it's in the valley of Harlingen or something.
SPEAKER_02Really?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, because it's like that's where it meets like the hot weather and the fucked up birds.
SPEAKER_02Shout out. More you know.
SPEAKER_01Shout out. Or McAllen, yeah, McAllen is. I love McAllen. I moved there tomorrow. Are you kidding? It's the best. I heard the food. They said that's like one of the best, the happiest places in America is McAllen.
SPEAKER_02I believe it. I'm happy every time I'm there. I think it's mostly because people are on cocaine.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And Modello.
SPEAKER_01Some guy like I was in a truck and I was coming to the exit, and he and what happened? He cut right in front of me and I flipped him off, and he like just slammed on his brakes. And um, he was like looking at me like fuck you. And then a DPS came, got his ass. I was like, yeah, bro! I was so happy. Made me so happy.
SPEAKER_02Uh are you just I are do you just drive around flipping people off all the time?
SPEAKER_01You should have seen me earlier, but I just I from here I drove here down the media. Never mind. I'm not gonna tell this story.
SPEAKER_02I always just flip off people I know.
SPEAKER_01I flip people off that I don't know that piss me off.
Closed Sign Frustrations And The Website
SPEAKER_01Sorry. I hate I hate people.
SPEAKER_02Shout out our customers. Well, we're gonna have to get you out of the old G office sooner than later because you you you really bought into hating the customers. You get in such a foul mood when someone comes in here. Someone left a business card for me today, and I came in to pick it, like to get it, and Ox is yelling, rip it up and throw it in the trash. And he was so put out.
SPEAKER_01I feel a vein in my head popping uh every time a customer comes in.
SPEAKER_02You you were uh noticeably livid list, yeah. Uh and then somebody came in and you're like, We're closed, and Gabby, Gabby's like, I'm I I'll I'm here, I'm I'll talk to you. Like, we're closed.
SPEAKER_01If you fucking if you can hear my voice, stay the fuck out of our office, please. We have a fucking website for a reason.
SPEAKER_02It's pretty good. It's coming along. It's coming along. We told y'all Sunday.
SPEAKER_01It's pretty basic, but it's it's gonna it's happening.
SPEAKER_02We told you Sunday, come look at the way you want to see the trucks, you want to see the prices, you come see the website.com.
SPEAKER_01I'll even put a picture of a nude lady on there just to I won't do that, but if you want me to just stay the fuck out of our office.
SPEAKER_02What did you tell me the other day that if you got disgruntled, you were gonna put a picture, you're gonna kick the door open while I was uh on the bathroom and then put a movie of of me on the marquee outside?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, because I just forgot I had to put movies on that.
SPEAKER_02What kind of you can put any kind of how long of a movie could you?
SPEAKER_01It'll stay forever, hours and hours.
SPEAKER_02But like, could you like we could do the Odyssey? Could you put like a whole movie? Could we have a movie night up here? Yeah, we could. That would be kind of cool. Put a turtle box and then we watch a movie on the eight-foot screen.
SPEAKER_01Could we watch um yeah, the teenage mutant into turtles or something? Uh let's do it, bud.
SPEAKER_02We could watch uh Diana does the Hines on that shitty fucking pixelated bullshit.
SPEAKER_01Deanna does the Henness. Oh what? Oh god. That's funny.
SPEAKER_02The handstand.
SPEAKER_01I mean uh Yeah, these customers, they're okay. It's just like the the guy came in, he was like, uh, I know your sign says closed, and I wanted to say stop right fucking there. You just said it. You know you signed the clothes. Now get the fuck out. But I let him finish his sentence and I politely reminded him that he's on private property.
SPEAKER_02Go ahead, bud. No, nothing. I was just thinking how like I thought I really wanted to be a car business. I just really want to be a hoarder. But I do want to sell some of these cars. You gotta sell them. That's what we're on.
SPEAKER_01We're doing online. We will sell them.
SPEAKER_02I'm gonna hit it. We're gonna hit some auctions too here pretty soon.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Oh, I need to get that done too. Fuck.
SPEAKER_02A lot to do. Always money to do, bud. Now I gotta move to fucking Hondo, Texas.
SPEAKER_01Are we not talking about that?
SPEAKER_02No. Are you going to uh end this?
Florida Trip Prep In The Old Truck
SPEAKER_01Sorry.
SPEAKER_02Are you gonna drive you're gonna drive your truck to Florida on Monday? Yes, sir. Or Tuesday morning.
SPEAKER_01Tuesday, I'm leaving at 5 a.m.
SPEAKER_02And tell me what are you driving?
SPEAKER_01The 1999 uh F-350 Godzilla.
unknownWoo!
SPEAKER_01That's I think it's got a turbo. It's like an aftermarket Garrett turbo in it.
SPEAKER_02So it's tuned. It's a 27-year-old truck.
SPEAKER_01It runs like a top.
SPEAKER_02It runs like a scalded hog.
SPEAKER_01I'll like I'll I'll tell I'm a bad driver. These I come out and pull in front of people because they think and they think I'm gonna go slow and I'll just fucking haul ass. And they're all pissed out. And you roll coal. I'm rolling coal. I'm rolling coal. I accidentally rolled coal on the lady in a wheelchair. But this time I first got the truck, I did not know it did that. Shout out that lady.
SPEAKER_02So you made the block and made sure it would do it again.
SPEAKER_01Do it like a chimney sweep when I was done with her.
SPEAKER_02On accident though, sorry. Rolling coal just makes you feel better. You can be in a bad mood, you look in that mirror, and you I always wondered how they did it.
SPEAKER_01I'm like, oh, you just push the pedal hard on a tune truck.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Fucking works.
SPEAKER_02Be careful, you poop your pants.
SPEAKER_01What?
SPEAKER_02You push hard.
SPEAKER_01Oh yeah.
Hobos With Phones And Daily Pay Jobs
SPEAKER_02What's his American hobo, but there's a fucking bunch of hobos on Instagram that have uh Instagram's accounts of just doing hobo stuff.
SPEAKER_01I gotta check this out.
SPEAKER_02And um, I like it a lot. A lot. Hobos are living the best life.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, like I told you your dad's probably living a great he's gonna live forever.
SPEAKER_02Yes, he is. But hobos, they're out on the trains and they're seeing the country and they know places. And it was funny because I came across this hobo and he was rolling into Sterling, Colorado. And I was like, I lived in Sterling, Colorado for You did for months pulling a pipeline up when I was in my my when I was like 21 or 22 years old.
SPEAKER_01Where's that by?
SPEAKER_02It is closer to Sydney, Nebraska than it is to Denver.
SPEAKER_01Oh, you're on the like the east side where all the flies are.
SPEAKER_02God damn, tons of flies are and but Sterling's like a nice town. It's not quite the plains. There's some undulation.
SPEAKER_01Undulation.
SPEAKER_02But it's in there's not mountains. Yeah. But these but this hobo's just out there living his best life, and he's got he's laying in this weird part of a train on a flatbed car, just whittling sunburn as shit.
SPEAKER_01Wiggling an old spoon. Yes. That sounds cool. Everyone's got a phone nowadays. I would never do that. I need something to do.
SPEAKER_02Homeless people have phones. If you're a homeless person without a phone, you're you're a fucking piece of shit. You're yeah, you're bad. Like you're a murderer. You're really bad. Everyone has a phone. Homeless people have phones, people in prison have phones. Yeah. Uh kids have phones. Kids that aren't supposed to have them at school have phones. Everyone has a phone. Do they still have that going on? That no phone deal. Yeah, but that's it's about as successful. Um, I'm trying to think what would be comparable. I don't know.
SPEAKER_01Like chewing gum or something.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Tuck in your shirt. It's the equivalent of tuck your shirt in when we were in school.
SPEAKER_01Like, imagine like a really troubled kid who either can be on this phone or like just rambunctious. The teacher would be like, just get on your fucking phone.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, just get on your phone.
SPEAKER_01Shut the fuck up.
SPEAKER_02Just get out of this class and go be a hobo. Yeah. Just be a hobo. We need more hobos.
SPEAKER_01We need more work, like day day laborers. Like just go in, get paid. Work today, paid today. Yeah. Yeah. They used to do that at Sonic. They would pay you every every day. Really? I saw the sign. It was before COVID. That was pretty easy. Shout out Sonic. I haven't been going there um lately, but um I love that place. You had a Sonic Cup when I walked in today. I haven't been. I've only been once. Today. How many times a day do you usually go to Sonic? Like five? Really? Once or twice.
SPEAKER_02But you went to Disney.
SPEAKER_01I order before I order and then I go pick it up.
SPEAKER_00Why?
SPEAKER_02Bro.
SPEAKER_01Is there well there is a if somebody was in my space today and I almost lost it? I think it might be getting really messed.
SPEAKER_02They do have uh Sonic
Fast Food Takes And Candy Debates
SPEAKER_02in Hondo. I mean, not in Dahana's. They don't have one in Days. Tapanil? No.
SPEAKER_01In Hondo they do.
SPEAKER_02Man, I saw somebody on Facebook left a review of the Uvaldi Burger King. And it was so it was so bad. It was comical. And you could tell this person, this dirty fucking person really likes Burger King. And they were they were scolding the Uvaldi Burger King, but also trying to encourage it to do better so that they could enjoy Burger King. Oh god. Do you know this person? No, they posted under like an anonymous, you know, Goldfish Brain 2001.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, goldfish brain.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, the one here is disgusting. The one in Hondo, should have Hondo over by that gas station on the west side of are these the new truck stop? Yeah. The newer truck stop, yeah. That's bad, dude. Bad. Bad to the bone. Is there a good Burger King? A dog walking around. Yeah. Maybe it's not a good Burger Kings. Maybe not in the Midwest, maybe.
SPEAKER_02Did you see that meme the other day or infographic that showed cardiac arrest deaths and then had a waffle house laid over it and how they were synonymous?
SPEAKER_01It's true, dude. Well, what do you what a heart? How do you get is it just clogs your arteries or what?
SPEAKER_02I guess so. And then when you're cooking everything in clarified butter on a griddle.
SPEAKER_01That's like me the last 20 years eating fucking fried foods. Yummy. But I haven't eating those beet, those little beet uh Jolly Ranger things using this. What? My mom and dad watched uh Fox News and they was like, eat these beet candies. It's good for your blood pressure. So I saw them at clearance at Walmart and I bought them. Do your parents eat them? No, no. I was like, I want to taste them.
SPEAKER_02Are they good? Yeah, they're okay. You know what's good? Were they original? When's the last time you had a werther original?
SPEAKER_01You ever bite in one of those?
SPEAKER_02You suck it down like a fucking You gotta let it suck down because if you bite into it, you'll be picking it out of your teeth for a day. It'll be in there.
SPEAKER_01God, if that ain't the truth. If that ain't the truth. What about caramels? You like those? That's just not worth the chew. I love a caramel.
SPEAKER_02What? Oh, I got a text from a buddy of mine. Shout out Leveland, Texas. Shout out Chris Greener. He said, Have you ever heard? And this is he blew my mind. But he's from a small town up there in the middle of nowhere, like a Sabinel kind of deal where they just that's what you got at Dairy Queen. And they would take their payday into Dairy Queen and have them put it in a blizzard.
SPEAKER_01Are you fucking kidding?
SPEAKER_02I was like, this is game-changingly brilliant.
SPEAKER_01That's that's trashy as fuck.
SPEAKER_02I want to take a payday and tell them to just give me a blizzard, put this in there and blizzard it. I hope there's someone working there like me until you get the fuck out.
SPEAKER_00Get out of here!
SPEAKER_01Get the fuck out of here where you kick your ass. It's like yeah, whenever uh the moon pies. Oh no, Catelyn, Catelyn had a band a long time ago, and they were playing at the La Paloma, and he's like, and they kicked me out of the band because I had a bad attitude. But he was like, Will you watch the door? Pay and I was like, Yeah, of course. So uh people would come in and I charge them money, and they were like telling me they're telling people like Ox is so good. This is how good he was. Uh a couple came with the baby, and they he charged the fucking baby, and I was. Like, yeah, I did. And then what I tell them was, uh, they're like, You're gonna charge our baby, and I said, Yeah, it's got ears, don't it? It's just a true story. They pay, they fucking pay. I mean, I've been for it to come in. I'm ruthless when it comes to business, bro.
SPEAKER_02I'm listening to you telling me this, and uh, it makes me want to work harder. It's like, I need to buy, I need to make enough money that I could buy a dairy queen or a golden chick or something just to get you to manage it to run all the customers off. I would love it.
SPEAKER_01That's my dream. I hate customers.
SPEAKER_02God, that'd be great. I got goals.
Folk Saints Baseball Stats And History Luck
SPEAKER_01Oh, God, that's funny. What percentage of MOB players from South America prayed to the Virgin Mary holding an AK-47? I'd say like 60%, dude. I think so. That's what they do. They pray to that Virgin Mary holding a gun.
SPEAKER_02Oh, the Virgin Mary holds the gun?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, you never seen that? Yeah, they have their families and the guns like he's like holding the gun, she's holding the gun like that. It's not the San Muerte. Isn't that the same thing? I I thought maybe I can't remember. Yeah. There's a uh because we were watching the Astros, and dude, they have so many people. It's like our immigrants against your immigrants. Go. It's like it's not even a baseball anymore. It's just like some fucking I don't know, world event every fucking day.
SPEAKER_02What is the percentage? Is this what you're talking about? This?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. What the fuck is that?
SPEAKER_02I'm gonna put this right here. It's skeleton Virgin Mary.
SPEAKER_01That's okay. That's very uh what's the word? Sacrilegious?
SPEAKER_02Sacrilegious.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02But what is the Santa Muerte?
SPEAKER_01Look at oh well, can you look up the the origin or the the provenance?
SPEAKER_02A skeletal folk saint death. Skeletal folk saint that is venerated in Paraguay, Argentina, Corrientes, but also a bunch of places, fucking blah blah blah, South America, Greater Buenos Aires.
SPEAKER_01See, this is fucking bullshit. They shouldn't be doing this. What the fuck? They're pregnant, they're gonna go like one day I'm gonna make it to heaven, and and the Virgin Mary with a skeleton face will be there, like what? No.
SPEAKER_02There's just so many factions of Catholicism. Like the church has d denounced this, however, all the people that follow it are Catholics.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. It's fucking bullshit. See, but this like I feel like the church you go to is like this. It's it's just an offshoot of Catholicism. It's just an offshoot. I think America, I was saying I had this thought. America wouldn't be America now without an offshoot of Catholicism. Like the violent sect of Catholicism. I I agree. Like those fucking Mormons were killing everyone who could cross their fucking path.
SPEAKER_02Um, somebody was telling me an interesting fact the other day that you don't think about it, but the Mongols, the Khans, when they were conquering essentially the world, yeah, the continent of Asia and Europe, they got to the point that when Genghis Khan died, they didn't have a succession plan. And so they were on the verge of basically taking over Italy. There was nothing, or basically all of white Europe, there was nothing to stand in their way. They could have done except the Khan died, and that required them all to go back to Mongolia and fight to decide who was to battle internally to see who was going to be the next leader. And they were there for four years and never made it back.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's to the front line. This was the luck of the draw.
SPEAKER_02It's just pure luck.
SPEAKER_01Well, that's what they're saying about um Indians. When they used to fight the Indians in America, the reason they were so successful is because the Indians would fight, they would fight a battle, right? But they would win the battle and then they'd retreat and then be like, all right, we won, and they would leave. Instead of going in and killing all the people that were left, the wounded, they would just leave them and take off. They said if they would have gone in and killed all the wounded, they would have won. They would have won. But it wasn't their style of fighting.
SPEAKER_0226.3% of MLB baseball players are born outside of the US. I thought it would be higher.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I thought it would be like 60%.
SPEAKER_02I thought it was gonna be more than half to.
SPEAKER_01There's more, I think a lot of I think it's like 70% white people play baseball.
SPEAKER_02There's I guess there's becoming more foreigners in uh basketball, too. Oh yeah. But they're like those white guys, they're even the worst.
SPEAKER_01They like bet on horse races. Yeah, do all sorts of crazy shit.
Big Dogs And A Childhood Bite Story
SPEAKER_02Oh I walked my dog, I took my dog yesterday out to the soccer fields. Shout out Rocco, shout out Negpod, sponsoring the soccer field. Shout out Negpod. And uh there was chingos, chingos of teams out there practicing. Uh huh. Shout out Coach During. I saw Victoria, she's a coach. No way! Shout out Coaching. And uh I I took uh one of the kids, shout out Angelina. Shout out, Angelina, she was uh soccer practicing. I took my dog and I walked the dog around. Big hit.
SPEAKER_01Did you oh she didn't scare anybody?
SPEAKER_02There's a couple of people that were scared, but it was um the internship. Majority of people that were not scared at all. He looked friendly and uh came and wanted to see the dog and pet the dog and talk to the dog. And then one guy told me it's like, I used to think these were big dogs. Now I've got one of those uh cano corsos or whatever, which is like a a fucking bear. He's got a bear.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, those things are huge.
SPEAKER_02I want one.
SPEAKER_01A cane corso? Yes. Let me look this up. Yeah. How much I wonder what the average weight of a king corso is. They uh we got a king corso. Let me know. They I've I think they're they fight bears. Oh god, these things are huge. Yeah, it's an Italian Mastiff descended from ancient Roman War dogs. They say that about chows, too, that chows are like ancient Chinese fucking dogs. They used to protect the king. All I know is chows are fucking angry dogs.
SPEAKER_02Bro, my sister was almost killed by one.
SPEAKER_01They're like me, but a dog version.
SPEAKER_02When I would have been in third grade, though, so that would have made me like eight or nine years old. And my younger sister would have been five or four or five. The neighbors had a black chow dog.
SPEAKER_01Angry dog.
SPEAKER_02And my sister walked got like woke up early and walked over to their house and went in their gate and knocked on the door. And she's knocking on the door, and the dog jumped up and latched onto the back of her neck, attacked her, shook her on the ground, scraped her face all up, all around. She's bleeding everywhere. The people come outside and they come and they get my mom. My mom gets her. This is in Concan. My mom drives her to Uvalde. I'm just like a little kid in the backseat. My mom has my sister in her lap with a towel wrapped around her neck, and she's like screaming and praying, don't die. Yeah. There's blood everywhere, and I'm like in the back, like fuck them. Like we're headed to the Uvaldi hospital. And this like your son would be. Yeah. And uh we get to the Uvaldi hospital, and everyone's freaking out. And they get my sister in there, and they uh do she gets 32 stitches in the back of her neck.
SPEAKER_01Dude, if dogs can kill a kid so fast, so fast.
SPEAKER_02And they were like at the time the doctors said miss the main artery in the neck by a fraction, like a hair. That's good. An ass hair.
SPEAKER_01Chut out.
SPEAKER_02And so but before that, my grandfather was gonna get me a chow. What? Yeah, because he told me when he was kidding that he wanted he wanted one, he's like, because my grandfather grew up in Taylor, Texas, and it was uh it was white Catholics, it was white Catholics and and black people, and he was like, Chows would keep the black people out of like our neighborhood. Like he was like, They're the meanest dogs ever. And so he got me all hyped up that he was gonna get me one, and then after my sister got bit, sorry, she got bit in like September or October, and I was gonna get a chow for Christmas, is what I thought. And Christmas morning I was waiting for my chow. You're still waiting for such a fucking psycho. I thought I was still getting a chow after my sister almost died, right?
SPEAKER_01And I woke up, would it be would it have been a puppy though? Yes, okay. Well then what's the big deal?
SPEAKER_02I woke up Christmas morning and I had a German Shepherd. Piss on the German Shepherd. Turned out to be my he pissed on my stocking.
unknownWas it a puppy?
SPEAKER_02It was a puppy. I love Germany. Turned out to be a great dog. Now I got Rocco. Shout out Rocco.
SPEAKER_01I love I'm a dog lover. I love dogs.
SPEAKER_02More than people.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I just love them more because they're so innocent. They are. And people have their own agenda, and it readily fucking pissed me off. Like that guy who was like, Are you close, but can I walk in? Shout out. Oh. What are we talking about? Yeah, my dude. Sister almost got killed by a dog.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, almost got killed by a dog.
SPEAKER_01I knew a guy, I had a neighbor, he's a that's why she's a foaming at the mouth. God, mention that. Shout out. Um, I had a neighbor who used to feed cats to his German Shepherd. Shout out, that guy is a psycho. Where was this neighbor? Over on uh by Grove. By Grove. We used to live over there on that side of town. I think he's the same one that was to drown the cats too. Shout out, he was fucking psycho. Didn't care for cats. He hated cats, dude. And his parents just let him run well in the backyard.
SPEAKER_02I think a lot of psychos get their cut their teeth hurting cats.
SPEAKER_01I never thought I would never felt bad for him, but I would never hurt any any animal.
SPEAKER_02I had a friend of mine stuck a cat's tail in gasoline and then lit it on fire. And his dad came home and he was like, What the fuck?
SPEAKER_01Dude, that's like uh that's like a military school moment, right?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, well, instead they sent him the the junior high. Oh god. Even worse.
SPEAKER_01Just walking up those steps like, oh, here comes my psycho friend.
SPEAKER_02Uh man, there's been this post going around this week, and I've seen it shared. And I'm all right, I'm not shitting on this. Uh hey, there's my post. Shout out tonight.
SPEAKER_01Are you pumped? Are you let us know if you're pumped? If you're pumped, shout out tonight. Oh, and I sent some stickers out. Um oh I was gonna send, I was gonna give Mel some stickers when I turned in my credit card stuff. Shout out, Mel.
SPEAKER_02To put up at the office at DKM or what?
SPEAKER_01Uh yeah. Oh, that's a good idea. I think just for her to have one too. I don't know.
SPEAKER_02Okay, this is I'm gonna summarize this. Uh it's just too long. Let me just read the whole thing. We got 29 minutes. Like, I can't get six. It's too much. I'm gonna actually tell the machine. Wait, you want a king course though?
SPEAKER_01Are you gonna get one?
SPEAKER_02No. I like those guardian wildlife, like uh livestock guardian dogs, the big ones.
SPEAKER_01What's that? Is that what they're called?
SPEAKER_02The well Great Pyrenees, but there's a bigger one that's uh um here it is the first thing in post.
SPEAKER_01Oh, there's like giant cocksuckers.
SPEAKER_02So there anywhere is uh there's this uh post
Lifestyle Inflation And Spending Habits
SPEAKER_02going around. I've seen it shared by a lot of people that are 60, 70, 80 years old. And I agree with it as a point, and and basically it argues that today's financial struggles are caused more by lifestyle inflation and unnecessary spending than by the economy itself.
SPEAKER_01I would agree by that. I would agree with that.
SPEAKER_02But to read it where all these old people or older people are posting it is uh I will read some of it. It's like I'm worn out hearing people moan. Our grandparents could buy a house on one paycheck, but now we can't afford rent on two. Yeah, maybe because grandma wasn't dropping half her income on $14 ice lattes and avocado toast shaped like art projects. Back then, if they wanted coffee, they bowled it at home in a dented pot. It tasted like burnt rubber and regret, but it woke up and cleaned your pipes. And grandma wasn't out to brunch, and just you get the gist of it.
SPEAKER_01It's kind of true.
SPEAKER_02Uh they didn't have $38 hamburgers. Uh there wasn't a new iPhone to get or that you needed. Um, there wasn't a TV.
SPEAKER_01There was no subscriptions.
SPEAKER_02There's no subscription, there's no $12 smoothies. Um whatever grandpa brought home on Friday, that's what they had. They weren't spending more than that. Uh so essentially they're saying that the lifestyle inflation I agree with that.
SPEAKER_01Wait, who wrote that? Can we say or no?
SPEAKER_02Uh it's been shared multiple times.
SPEAKER_01I wouldn't even be able to credit where it's because I never spend any money now because I don't really buy anything.
SPEAKER_02You just spend money on drinks and food.
SPEAKER_01That's it. And if I was like a smart dude, I would just I would buy my own food and cook it.
SPEAKER_02I'm I also cooking for one.
SPEAKER_01It's so wasteful.
SPEAKER_02Is wasteful. You have to be committed to a lot of leftovers. In my in my opinion, opinion, cooking for one is it's probably still cheaper to cook for one than it is to eat out.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, because and now I've been trained since I've moved back. I can I'll eat leftovers. Mom and dad cook uh uh what is it called? Fideo, fideo loco. I'm like, I'll have this tomorrow night too, mom. She's like, Yeah, you will, because I ain't cooking. And I'm like, okay, but I want to have it. Usually I'm like, before I'd be like, I ain't eating this fucking leftovers. I had it, I'm I'm not doing it.
SPEAKER_02I will say one thing, my wife won't eat leftovers. And she does I will now so much of the cooking, almost pretty much all of it. I've seen her cook, she's like a little chef in there. She's an excellent cook, and she and she makes enough for the kids to take to lunch, but she does not she a leftover, she would rather bite her tongue off. Is she okay with you uh telling this? She don't like leftovers? Yeah, I think I mean that's not like personal. Personal, I don't think that's personal.
SPEAKER_01I don't sound baby. You know these women, they like to get all bothered about little things.
SPEAKER_02Well, maybe um yeah. Uh what were we talking about?
SPEAKER_01The dog?
SPEAKER_02Oh, we were talking about the the lifestyle inflation.
SPEAKER_01Oh, yeah.
New Car Subscriptions And Data Centers
SPEAKER_01I think that's true, dude. And then like Netflix, they didn't have Netflix, they didn't have TVs. What I'm saying is, too, these tru these new cars and stuff, all you need is a radio and fucking ink air conditioning, and that's all you need.
SPEAKER_02Bro, a lot of these new cars have subscriptions.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, you told me about this.
SPEAKER_02This is you have I never buying a new car. You're you have to subscribe to be able to use the remote start. You have to be able to just to subscribe that's how my F15 to drive it. Like, that is insane. I'm I'm out. I'm I'm out on all of that shit.
SPEAKER_01I'm never buying a new car ever again.
SPEAKER_02So um, yeah. Even my my wife's car in three years will require it to have a subscription to use the remote control. It comes with three years free.
SPEAKER_01They will be fighting the DSA by then, but having a civil war. Is what's the DSA? She'll be fighting on the DSA side. The Democratic Socialists of America.
SPEAKER_02Oh, I thought that was the name of the company from uh Terminator.
SPEAKER_01Oh, what was it? Skylab or Sky Skynet?
SPEAKER_02Skynet. Yeah. Fuck around. Terminator might have been real, bro.
SPEAKER_01Well, they say Sarah Connor got in trouble for uh destroying data centers.
SPEAKER_02And we didn't even know what a data center. We were just watching this. Show the gun the motorcycle with the gun. And they're like trying to tell you like these data centers are going to it's when I went to go pick up that generated new bronffels.
SPEAKER_01They had one left. He goes, You're lucky you only have one left. I was like, What happened? He's like, data centers. I was like, Are you kidding? He's like, they're all renting them all out, dude.
SPEAKER_02People are hating these data centers.
SPEAKER_01Well, kid is you need to build them in the ocean.
SPEAKER_02Or in space.
SPEAKER_01What if what if the data set? Yes, in space. I think they're gonna try that.
SPEAKER_02But the ocean, you're right, the perpetual motion, the water's already there to cool it. What's what I'm smart enough to understand about why?
SPEAKER_01Somebody said these desalination plants. Um, the salt, when they take it out, they put it back in the ocean. It makes it salty. It's super like toxic. It's like 20 times as toxic as anything else on earth. That's why they don't they try and stay away from it. Um it'll kill all the wildlife.
SPEAKER_02So the the residual salt at scale ship it out to West Texas, burn it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, burn it.
SPEAKER_02Put it in a salt pipeline. We'll shoot it up Putin's ass. I don't know what to do. Put it on my table for my dad to shake it off as enchiladas. Let's give it to the boomers so they can save money on salt.
SPEAKER_01Dude, I feel boomers, man. Shout out to boomers. I think they're the ones that are gonna save or who are gonna buy our trucks though, and cars. Yeah, they got that boomer gas.
SPEAKER_02They got those boomer bugs.
SPEAKER_01Don't you wish you were a boomer bud?
Sudden Flood News And On-Air Prayers
SPEAKER_02I do. I do. Did you see that flood that happened yesterday? Yeah, I saw that.
SPEAKER_01What happened there? It said it was the glacier melting. Sorry. Is that what happened?
SPEAKER_02Well, I saw something like Glacier River or is that Nepal? The city that got wiped out, Nepal in Nepal, nipple, in Nipple. Shut out, nipple, and fucking bit it, bit their nipple off. Wash it, washed it away. We're so stupid we call it nipple, but it came out of nowhere. Yeah, it was literally like the Joe Dirt Town of variations.
SPEAKER_01I thought our flood was bad. That one was a little way worse.
SPEAKER_02I saw it on Twitter shared by Sean Hannity, and he said, This is not a movie. This is real. Like when the newsman's like, hey, I'm sharing this clip, this is insane. Dude, that water just cruising down the fucking river.
SPEAKER_01Just boulders and water, and and everyone has like, like they ever they probably have phones, right? Yeah, do they have an alert like we do? Probably not. I don't it look like there's 0.0 alert. Just like a death skull. Ding, ding, ding. Like, what does this mean? Dead. When does it say what happened? Is there any more news? It says scientists are still working to determine exactly what caused it. Uh the US Geological Survey said a glacial collapse when a large section of ice breaks off and falls down the slope. Sorry. I need to run my AC, cocksuckers.
SPEAKER_02So Nepal is in the Himalayans.
SPEAKER_01Nipple.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Nipple.
SPEAKER_01Yes. No, no, no. Nepal's next to India. Oh the Himalayans. Let me see. I'm gonna Google this.
SPEAKER_02So it says the huge section of glacier and rock appears to have collapsed into the river system. The avalanche temporarily damned the river when that blockage released, it sent an enormous wall of water, mud, rock, and ice down the narrow valleys. You didn't they didn't notice like the fucking river was stopped flowing.
SPEAKER_01Oh yeah, Tibet's right there. I guess it does get pretty cold. No, dude, there are a bunch of fucking animals out there.
SPEAKER_02The flood was incredibly sudden. At one monitoring point, the river rose about 27 feet in only 30 minutes. Oh my god. That's insane. Yeah. Uh th 359 bodies have been recovered, and there's still about 600 people missing.
SPEAKER_01Let me say this. If you're dead because of this or you're missing, I pray for you. Now they find you.
SPEAKER_02No, 600 foreign people are missing, and then they're like hundreds of nippalies, nippleys. We're not counting. We don't even know how many nipplies. We got plenty of nippleys, but we got missing a few hundred nipplies.
SPEAKER_01Reiterate, if you're almost you're dead or you're missing, I'm praying for you. It's a on it's an on-air prayer. I hope you make it in heaven. I'm gonna see you there. See you there. What about Dolly Parton, bud?
Dolly Parton Talk And Simpsons Obsession
SPEAKER_01What about Dolly Parton? Let me say this another thing about these. I don't worship celebrities like these people do. Yeah, she was a great lady. She probably did a lot of good. I don't like celebrities. And I'm gonna say the same thing uh that a per regular person dies as a celebrity. I'm gonna see you again. And I'm praying for you.
SPEAKER_02There's this guy I know. It's not you. But everyone's like, he's gay. And I don't care. I don't care if he's gay. Nobody cares if he's gay.
SPEAKER_01But who is it?
SPEAKER_02Will you tell me after? And uh. But he also, you know, he's he's he's a family. He's a he's a family, but there's like he's gay. Okay. I was like, so who cares? And I always just dismissed it. I was like, that just sounds like old hearsay.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, just shit talker.
SPEAKER_02And then yesterday his whole social media feed was dedicated to remember like honoring Dolly Parton. I was like, that guy is a flaming homosexual. There was an episode of The Simpsons one time, and Homer said only two kinds of people wear Hawaiian shirts: flaming homosexuals and big fat party animals.
SPEAKER_01That's so true, dude.
SPEAKER_02Nothing's ever been truer.
SPEAKER_01No, and the Simpsons nail it every time.
SPEAKER_02Every time. Is it still on the air?
SPEAKER_01I think it might be.
SPEAKER_02That's you know what I'm gonna do? When you kill yourself with dementia, I'm just gonna go into a home and I'm gonna watch The Simpsons from start to finish over and over again.
SPEAKER_01They have a TV, it's it's a it they have it on eBay. I saw it. It's it's a TV like this size, and it only plays Simpsons episodes. It has all of them. I think it's like I think it's like 50 bucks.
SPEAKER_02I want it.
SPEAKER_01And it plays it in a loop in all of all of the episodes, it just plays them, it goes through them.
SPEAKER_02Oh my gosh. We should put that in the office. Let me find it. In here. That would be amazing. You bring your kids up here to get a get a car and they can watch the Simpsons.
SPEAKER_01Here it is.
SPEAKER_02Continuous loop Simpsons. How many hours of content is The Simpsons?
SPEAKER_01How many?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, how many fucking uh The Simpsons series. My mom used to not let me watch it, and I would be like, fuck you, mom, I'm watching Married with Children and The Simpsons.
SPEAKER_01But she would let you drink alcohol in high school. Yeah. Shout out, Mama Mother.
SPEAKER_02There are roughly 800 plus episodes. Most episodes run 21 to 23 minutes, putting the main TV series at approximately 300 hours of content, which is maybe up to 13 days, 24-7. That's a pretty good amount. Oh, this one's it's 200 bucks, but still, it's still worth that's a deal.
SPEAKER_01It plays it continuously.
SPEAKER_02Bro, I bought $200 worth of cassette tapes in the past two months.
SPEAKER_01That's what Gabby's like, uh, are we gonna get a player? I was like, no, he's just lost his fucking mind.
SPEAKER_02Was that really a conversation?
SPEAKER_01She's like, I want to get a player. I'm like, why? She's like, we have all these tapes. I'm like, he's lost his mind. They're just gonna gather until we're getting covered in them.
SPEAKER_02Some of the truck's the tape players aren't working as well as I want, and I'm really frustrated. Or the tapes are expiring.
SPEAKER_01Probably that they've probably been storage forever.
SPEAKER_02It's probably that they're just sometimes they sound really good, and then you listen to them like a third time, it's like an Alvin and the chipmunks.
SPEAKER_01I never thought about that, but they probably do like just degenerate.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, but is that ribbon or whatever?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, so it's I just had a vision of you in your truck just playing it over and over. I was like, that's fun. It is fucking dementia there, but I'll get you the dementia.
SPEAKER_02I just got three more tapes in the day, and they're three David Allen co-tapes.
SPEAKER_01Oh fuck. Hell yeah! I saw uh uh uh interview with him on Instagram the other day.
SPEAKER_02He's he's past.
SPEAKER_01I know, but it was like they were talking about how uh he wrote songs for Elvis and he was a hell of a prolific, yes, prolific songwriter. Oh that lady Kemi Haircut date, she made me look like a fucking Cuban baseball player.
Haircut Logistics And Small Town Gossip
SPEAKER_01I hate that. Like it goes down.
SPEAKER_02Does when she was uh shout out, Sally?
SPEAKER_01When shout out Sally, I don't think she put together that we have a show, but go ahead.
SPEAKER_02Um I used to go there all the time. I haven't been here forever. She told me she's like, Where is Stephen?
SPEAKER_01Where's Wally? I'm like, I don't know.
SPEAKER_02I don't know. I don't know. Well, the problem is is there's always a line because all these creeps want to go get their haircut at bikini barber. Yeah. Did she wear a bikini? Well uh when she first started out, she would dress not in a bikini. No, not in the bikini, but in workout clothes. I was like, it's bikini barber was just a funny name that I would uh it was complimentary because she's it's a illiteration, bikini barber, yeah. Yeah, and um but I think Sally's great, and um Yeah, she's but um You haven't been in a one did she put gloves on when she groomed you? She sure did, yeah. She thinks you're gross. Okay, well, she didn't do it on you, and I can't remember sometimes like I would I would do that with anybody if I was gonna do cut your hair, I'd put gloves on.
SPEAKER_01Like, I'm gonna get herpes on my hand.
SPEAKER_02So I quit going there because one day she took her gloves off. I was like, Oh, this she's falling for me. Oh, okay. I'm happily married man.
SPEAKER_01I am gross.
SPEAKER_02She started calling Wally Mijo, and I was like, I can't come back.
SPEAKER_01Uh yeah, she was I got there and she had the door locked. I was like, and then I was like, I think I think maybe maybe you talk to her. Or Baxter told me that she she gets like accosted by people sometimes. Yeah, it's hard to feel bad for you when you're good looking, I guess. That's your problem. Yeah, I make too much money and people think I'm sexy. Fuck. I mean, that is the ultimate compliment. Yeah. But she didn't make a big deal out of it.
SPEAKER_02She's a good sport, she's got good bullshit too. Shout out Sally.
SPEAKER_01Although this fucking uh you made me look like whatever Dominican.
SPEAKER_02I'm gonna I gotta go get my my uh haircut with my bros, Steven and J-Rodd, over there. Uh oh, that's why you don't go. I actually don't well, I used to go all the time. Here's the honest truth.
SPEAKER_01She told me a funny story about you though.
SPEAKER_02I would get um a haircut every week when I was shaving my head and not wearing any hair.
SPEAKER_00That's what she said.
SPEAKER_02And now that I have hair, I've grown it out again, I'm only cutting my hair maybe every other month.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And because of that, I'm cutting it when it's convenient for me, which is if I go to San Antonio and I'm have a meeting or something, well, I've got time in between meetings or something to get a haircut.
SPEAKER_01She actually didn't wear gloves and she had dinner off my head. Or I'll go to official cuts. Uh shout out to J-Rob. I can text and get in there. That's why I texted her yesterday, or I did the the number off of the Google Maps, send it an appointment.
SPEAKER_02And and also um Saturdays, I'll sometimes Saturdays is the day I have available to get my hair cut, and that's not I did mine during lunch.
SPEAKER_01She's like a good little worker. But shout out to Sally, no hard feeling. She was like, Oh, Steven needs to come. Then I heard that he grew hair out of nowhere, and I was like, How does someone grow hair when they're bald? And I was like, I don't know. I chose baldness, yeah. And I was like, I think he grows it on the side.
SPEAKER_02I mean, I wear a hat every day because I'm still like I got I got a horseshoe head, but I got hair on the side.
SPEAKER_01You need to get some uh you need to get those implants, bud.
SPEAKER_02I just don't know. You can look for a real fucking psychopath. Yeah, yeah, I don't care about that.
SPEAKER_01That's funny. Oh, dude, if I buy the Simpsons TV, you you should I buy this and put it in the office?
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I kind of want to watch this.
SPEAKER_02What's it look like?
SPEAKER_01It looks like the Simpsons TV.
SPEAKER_02Oh, what size is it? I think it's pretty we need that.
SPEAKER_01You put it on your desk.
SPEAKER_02Oh. I don't want like a little chicken shit iPhone size one.
SPEAKER_01I want Oh, you want a giant one?
SPEAKER_02Well, I want one like at least the size of a microwave.
SPEAKER_01Oh, it's not that big. I'll I'll keep on a look at it.
SPEAKER_02Piss on him.
SPEAKER_01Piss on him. Do something
The Infidelity Rule And Divorce Culture
SPEAKER_01cool. Oh, yeah. Go back to this thing. If you fuck my wife and you don't talk to her, and I gotta talk to her, that's the ultimate betrayal. You can fuck my wife as long as she can talk your off about whatever's on her mind. That's your rule. That's my fucking rule.
SPEAKER_02I don't want to hear any man with no wife. You you have put this together. I showed this to Alex yesterday. She was telling me something about it. She was offended. I go, You're not gonna believe this. I said, read what Ox put in our notes. And she goes, You lying. She started cussing me out. She's like, Ox put that. And so since we had shared notes on our i says my new, I slid it over so I it would show like when when you wrote it. I showed her when you wrote it and that it was from you, and then she she goes, You probably texted him that and made him put it in there from him. And I go, I really didn't. But it's hysterical. But it's you're right. It's kind of not true. It's kind of true. Betrayal is if somebody is sleeping with your wife, and then you make me talk to her, and then they're in like they're not getting they're not doing the other part of uh.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, like you fuck her and kick her out, and she gotta come home and like talk to me about work.
SPEAKER_02She's like mad at she's mad at you, Don Juan, the dick slinger, yeah, and has to come home and then unload on me.
SPEAKER_01And she's like gratified. Okay, yeah, uh, it's fucked up. Oh man. This is why people don't have a relationship anymore anymore because of this shit. People just social media, you meet some guy.
SPEAKER_02There's some social media page, and it's like an almost attractive mom-aged woman, and it says, The reason I had to divorce the good guy, and she's like, she's like basically like, he's just I didn't feel alive, he's too good, he's he's too kind. And I was like, I don't know. This guy should drink a six-pack of butt-ice tall boys and come beat the shit out of you.
SPEAKER_01Yes, yes, dude. Everybody wins, and she would probably be like, he's got some character after you beat the shit out of me.
SPEAKER_02I've decided if I start drinking again, it's gonna be a 12-pack of butt ice, and then you better watch out.
SPEAKER_01You better watch out of the way.
SPEAKER_02There's gonna be chingasos coming for you. You're gonna just give me a Rocco comes in, and you're gonna be like your kids. I'm gonna go find that guy that's killing this cat, show him how to really do it. Yes, sir. Hell yeah. Hell yeah, brother. So she didn't believe that I wrote that. But she does now.
SPEAKER_01But it was a joke.
SPEAKER_02It was so funny. It's so funny.
SPEAKER_01Uh have the shit I put on there so you can make you laugh.
SPEAKER_02Like, I don't have a whole lot of rules, but like, don't sleep with someone's wife is one of them. I have, but if you do sleep with someone's wife, yeah, talk to children. FaceTime, FaceTime on the way home. Just talk her up.
SPEAKER_01I just want to be like, I want you, I want her to be laying in the bed, facing away from the door, smiling, and I'm like in the doorway, like, good night, babe. Good night. Close the door, go watch TV.
SPEAKER_02There you go.
SPEAKER_01Thanks. Thanks. Talk to the dog. Yeah. Thanks, whoever ordered the thanks, Adam. Whatever fucking.
SPEAKER_02Oh, that's funny right there, bud.
SPEAKER_01Oh gosh. We got three minutes to go.
Dating Ideas Diversity And Awkward Stories
SPEAKER_01We can do it.
SPEAKER_02I invited you to go to a deal this weekend and you said no.
SPEAKER_01I don't want to go. I don't even drink. I can't drink anywhere. I have blood pressure. I don't drink either. We could not drink together.
SPEAKER_02Can I still go? I think so. I'm coming.
SPEAKER_01I don't believe you. Can I meet a nice lady there under 60? There might be a nice lady there. Is she black? I want to date a black one. I want to date a black one.
SPEAKER_02Really?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I think I'm up for that. Really? Yes. What would you do? Just take her out to the fucking hairdresser? I don't know. What do they really do? I don't see a lot of black people in Uvaldi, though. That's the one thing we're missing. I know. What's wrong with this?
SPEAKER_02Why can't we get I used to work we need more diversity?
SPEAKER_01Do we?
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01We have a lot of Filipinos now, I think. Do we? Um there was a I used to work at Dollar General and we we went to a store here. I think we went to Uvalde. And then we went to Bandera. And that black it was a black dude, and he was like, I feel I feel weird. And I was like, why? He's like, they don't like black people here. I was like, they're not even thinking about that. It's all in your fucking head. You stupid whatever. No, he's in that. I was kidding. He was a cool dude. But I'm like, uh, they're not even thinking of that, are they?
SPEAKER_02There was a funny uh video the other day of this uh retirement age older black woman, and she was she what she looked like was uh Adam Sandler's handler from Billy Madison, you know, the the black lady like took care of him, gave him a bath, like the mirror his mammy or whatever. Yeah, his mammy, and she looks like mammy's dumplings will make you come. Billy Madison's mammy, and she was doing a video, and it was real funny because it literally wasn't centered on her. She's like laying on the couch and the phone, she's barely in part of the deal. She was like, I just retired and I moved to an all-white town. There's no black folk. She's like, It's lovely, it's absolutely lovely. Like she had moved from I don't know, whatever, inner city or some shit to Mayberry. It was and it was just really funny. And she wasn't dogging or clowning or shitting, but she was just enjoying the wholesomeness of it. She's like the quiet, but she wasn't like this guy being like, they don't like me or whatever. She's like, they love me because I'm the only one.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And I love it here.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, they're like, we have a black one.
SPEAKER_02It was not just funny.
SPEAKER_01So yeah, but he was just like, uh, they don't like me here in Ben Deer. I'm black. I'm like, dude, they're not even thinking that. They're not even thinking, they're not even thinking, even I don't think that. I've I said the most racist thing I ever said to someone was it was off the cuff. I didn't mean it. I did say it though. It was like, I don't know why I said this. I I worked in Midland with that guy, I forgot his name. And there was a black dude that worked with us. He was the funniest guy, and I told him one time, he's making me laugh all the time. And I was like, I don't know why I said this when I said, It's true that black people are so funny, isn't it? Because you're funny, and it came out of my mouth, and I was like, What the fuck am I saying? And he was like, He didn't know what to say.
SPEAKER_02Because you said he was funny, yeah.
SPEAKER_01But I said I was like, black people are funny, like it's like a racist thing, but it's true. I don't know what I was talking about, but shout out that guy. You are funny, and sorry, I was making it. What guy was that? What's his name? I forgot his name, but he was so funny. Who was he working with? He was working with that dude. Who's that guy? That little guy that used to work with uh the OBBW uh Trent. Oh, Trent. He used to work at that company, it was a black dude. He was a he was a hardworking dude and so funny. Shout out. I think he said he died. I think he said that I'm the only guy with a high voice that's not a queer or something. He like made fun of me or something. He died. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, he got shot by the police.
SPEAKER_01No way, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Ferguson.
SPEAKER_01In Ferguson, Missouri? Yeah, that's not what I'm talking about.
SPEAKER_02Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_01It's all families in Midland. No. I walked in his house, he had like eight pregnant women there. Just the truth. Bud had an ass full of this. We just cracked an hour,
Sponsor Roll Call And Casino Daydreams
SPEAKER_01bud. Woohoo! Let's get back on that main page so I can talk to all our sponsors. Shout out our sponsors. Shout out Ziggy's Taxidermy, uh, Victoria During. Y'all are doing a great job on that video. I've post more videos, right?
SPEAKER_02More videos. Yeah, I want to see it. If you would mount an alligator or crocodile, I'd like to see kind of uh from beginning to end of that. Or a rattlesnake.
SPEAKER_01Do they do rattlesnake?
SPEAKER_02I've seen you do rattlesnakes.
SPEAKER_01And and if you do, I want to buy one, so please don't.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, do you have any rattlesnakes for sale? That would look good in our middle of our frog den. A big rattlesnake. Anyone who has a stuffed rattlesnake wants to donate it to the show, we'll shout you out for for 10 episodes.
SPEAKER_01At least 10.
SPEAKER_02At least 10.
SPEAKER_01Like coiled or like up in a striking pose.
SPEAKER_02Um, a striking.
SPEAKER_01Striking. Yeah. What about a what about a rattlesnake being eaten by a blue? What is it called?
SPEAKER_02A docking. Uh two snakes docking.
SPEAKER_01No. Oh. Uh a rattlesnake getting eaten by a blue indigo.
SPEAKER_02If you don't know what docking is, Google it. It'd be good for you. Do it on your work computer. Yeah. Next to your co-worker.
SPEAKER_01It's definitely not NSFW.
SPEAKER_02Shout out Ruby's Lounge. Dakota and Renee. We sorry we missed your birthday. Sorry we haven't taken you any stickers. But we've got stickers for you.
SPEAKER_01Come by. Uh oh, and David Cirino wants stickers. Dude, just come by, man. Just come by and get them.
SPEAKER_02What are they, David? Come by.
SPEAKER_01Uh A1 Fire Safety, Brad, and John. Thank you. Thanks, guys.
SPEAKER_02I love our bobblehead. Our kick-a-poo Lucky Eagle. 30th anniversary bobblehead. Puro Pinche.
SPEAKER_01Eagle Pass. It was still in the box when he brought it. I think he won it. He said he won it.
SPEAKER_02I love it.
SPEAKER_01What is it?
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_02Established.
SPEAKER_01Tell the story about the real quickly about the uh Indians over there at the Lucky Eagle. What happened before they got their casino? What do you mean? What happened before they got their casino? Where did they live?
SPEAKER_02They lived under the bridge. The story I heard about the kickaboos, and I'm sure it's probably not true.
SPEAKER_01It is true because I remember going down there.
SPEAKER_02Legend has. My parents are like, there they are. The kickaboo. The bridge tribe. They literally lived under the bridge between Mexico and the U.S. Yeah. And their home was on the river under the bridge. They're like the fish. One of them came out of the from under the bridge.
SPEAKER_01Like a fish.
SPEAKER_02A troll fish. And went to UT.
unknownOh.
SPEAKER_02And became educated and came back with a casino.
SPEAKER_01Oh, dude.
SPEAKER_02And now they are the lucky eagles.
SPEAKER_01They're lifted up like eagles.
SPEAKER_02They were the bridge mudswalls. The kickapoo bridge mud swallows. The kickapoo mud swallows. And now they have transcended into the Kickapoo Lucky Eagles.
SPEAKER_01Dude, they've transcended a la verga.
SPEAKER_02A la verga.
SPEAKER_01And they have money up the ass, bro. Chingos of money. Shout out the Lucky Eagle uh tribe. What's he called? What are they called? Kickapoo. Shout out pro bono sponsor Kickapoo Lucky Eagle Casino. Well, all your dreams come true. They gave her a Ferrari away the other day. That's crazy.
SPEAKER_02Do we hate or tolerate people who go to the Lucky Eagle Casino?
SPEAKER_01I know people so tolerate. Tolerate. And if I didn't know them, I hate. It's like our customers. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I'll say, you know what? You could just go to Evett's barbecue.
SPEAKER_01It's funny. The old Wolf X machine. I saw somebody other day putting money in. It was at Tex Best. This old white lady putting money in. I was like, what are you doing? You're not going to win anything.
SPEAKER_02I'm telling you why. If somebody doesn't buy a fucking car, I'm turning this place into a casino. Dude, we can just put them all around here.
SPEAKER_01Yep. Just have all the people come and shuffle in. That's it. I'm sitting there. What are you doing, Coxalker? Player get out.
SPEAKER_02Player get out. Yes. You can charge a door fee for him to come in too. Oh, dude. I do it. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Uh shout out Campbell Fabricane. We're going to see your Papa tomorrow. Papa Campbell. Thank you, Papa Kimball and Connor. And I'm going to see him come in here and show us how to find an arrowhead or two.
SPEAKER_02Let's do it.
SPEAKER_01All right.
Final Thanks And Sign Off
SPEAKER_01Well, I guess that's it. Anything else?
SPEAKER_00That's it.
SPEAKER_01See y'all next time.
SPEAKER_00Adios.
