The Moments That Make It Worth It | S1E4

You're waiting for that movie-worthy moment—the dramatic breakthrough where a student's eyes light up, confirming that all your educational efforts are worthwhile. But what if you're missing the real magic?

In this heart-to-heart conversation between host Cathy Tooley and K-8 principal Elizabeth Kissel, we discover why the most meaningful moments in education aren't always the obvious ones. Drawing from her 22 years in education (15 as a math teacher, 7 as an administrator), Kissel shares how a struggling student with behavioral challenges once gave her the greatest compliment: "She makes me feel worthwhile." This seemingly small statement represented a monumental victory in their relationship.

The discussion challenges the notion that educator fulfillment comes from grand, cataclysmic moments. Instead, Kissel suggests we should "celebrate the small stuff"—documenting daily victories, saving positive emails, acknowledging when the shy student finally speaks up, or when parents express gratitude. These practices aren't self-congratulatory but essential self-care for professionals who routinely give more than they receive.

Most powerfully, the conversation explores how to transform school culture by normalizing celebration in teachers' lounges and staff meetings. "What if we intentionally acknowledged the great work we see in others?" Kissel asks. This cultural shift wouldn't just benefit individual teachers; it would revolutionize entire school communities and sustain educators through the inevitable challenges of the profession.

Whether you're a new teacher searching for validation or a veteran wondering how to maintain your passion, this episode offers practical wisdom for finding fulfillment in the beautiful, ordinary moments that make teaching extraordinary. Listen, reflect, and discover how celebrating small victories might be the key to a sustainable, joy-filled educational career.

Step into growth and purpose! Discover my books and resources designed to help you lead, learn, and live with impact.

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//About

Cathy Tooley is the Founder & CEO of Tools for Success and a seasoned educator with over 40 years in K–12 classrooms and school leadership. From high school teacher to principal, Cathy has dedicated her life to supporting educators. In 2014, she launched Tools for Success to provide real, in-person instructional coaching—not just “PD in a box.” She’s the author of The Education System Is Broken, a national speaker, and a fierce advocate for teachers. Through this podcast, she’s spotlighting the ripple effect of great teaching.
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Transcript

Introduction to Elizabeth Kissel

Cathy Tooley 0:00

02 , so that's 22 to 24 . We are recording , so whenever you want to get started , you can go . Perfect . Hi everybody . Welcome back to Kathy Tooley and my podcast . I'm so excited to have you back . I am so excited I'm joined today by one of my dear friends and fellow administrative colleagues , Elizabeth Kissel . Elizabeth has been in education for 22 years . She , too , started when she was what ? Six months or a year , Because you're definitely not over 25 .

Speaker 2 0:32

I'm not Right right right , so she started .

Cathy Tooley 0:34

I think at six months I got started at three but I think Elizabeth was six months old when she got started .

Cathy Tooley 0:39

She spent 15 years as a math teacher dominus ominus I was the secondary English and in the past seven years as a K-8 principal . She's actually one of our school partners with the company that you can watch previous podcasts and know about that and she's also a mom of three beautiful babies and married , and she loves boating and skiing and adventures and some adventures in skiing that I've heard about recently that I will not put on this podcast because I won't do that . So today I asked several administrators and people that I knew that were in the trenches to look over some topics , because you know , we're doing this series called the Ripple Effect of a Teacher and Rebecca picked or , I'm sorry , elizabeth picked one that said so , we're going to chop that out , okay , sorry , elizabeth picked one that said so , we're going to chop that out , okay . So Elizabeth picked one that was called the moments that make it worth it . So thank you so clearly . That topic resonated with you , right ? Why ?

Speaker 2 1:37

Okay . So here's the thing when I read that topic and I'm going to twist just a little bit here , kathy , you're fine , all right . Us just a little bit here , kathy , you're fine , all right when I read it and thought

Celebrating the Small Stuff in Teaching

Speaker 2 1:52

where can we go with this ?

Cathy Tooley 1:52

It's not a cataclysmic moment because I sat and I can think , oh for sure , right , people think it's just like lightning bolt . This is why you should be here .

Speaker 2 1:57

This is why you do it . But here's the thing . I was actually looking at it , thinking about some younger teachers that I've mentored right and work through it , and they're seeking that moment of how do I know ? This is where I'm meant to be , or how ?

Cathy Tooley 2:07

do we get ?

Speaker 2 2:07

through those tough days Searching validity , so I'm going to twist this a little bit . You know the book . Don't Sweat the Small Stuff .

Cathy Tooley 2:14

Oh yeah .

Speaker 2 2:14

Okay , if I could go write a book today , I think I would twist it and I would say celebrate the small stuff . And I think the way you find those moments that matter in the classroom and the way you continue to find fulfillment in this job is to pause and celebrate the small stuff . It's not this one cataclysmic moment , it's not that one aha that says , okay , I have fulfilled my whole career here , right . It's the moment the things I thought of were small , right .

Speaker 2 2:45

So one moment that came to mind for me and this isn't going to sound like a beautiful moment , but it was a student when I was teaching middle school math um , student who had a lot of extra struggles on his plate , rarely made it through a full class period without needing to be removed for some behavioral issues that he was working through and challenges . And his resource teacher came to me one day some behavioral issues that he was working through and challenges . And his resource teacher came to me one day and said and it was tough , it was tough to be him right , and we've all had those kiddos that are tough Came to me one day and said you know , we had trouble getting this young man into class today and we were just working to get him back into a classroom and finally he agreed to go to math , and the teacher said why ?

Speaker 2 3:27

and he said you know , she makes me feel worthwhile when I'm in there , worthwhile . So here's my point . In the small stuff , though , kathy worthwhile isn't ?

Cathy Tooley 3:36

she makes me feel like a hero or the best thing ever , or defines who I am right , it's not a giant bouquet of flowers .

Speaker 2 3:41

This is a student with some pretty significant emotional dysregulation who knew he was worthy enough and valued enough when he was in my room to leave the resource room and show up that day .

Cathy Tooley 3:52

I want to go back to something . Oh , that is exactly what this topic is , but I think my brain is just going so fast . I think somewhere along the line it's exactly what you said . Someone has taught us that you don't get it , or it's not right , unless you have this cataclysmic meteored moment . Is it the movies ? Where are we getting that from ?

Speaker 2 4:18

I don't know , but here's the thing , and I think that sometimes people underestimate it's grueling work , right it ?

Cathy Tooley 4:24

is .

Speaker 2 4:25

I watch teachers every day who come in and they're here because they love right , certainly not for the money .

Cathy Tooley 4:31

No , no right .

Speaker 2 4:32

I wish it was . I wish they were fulfilled the way they deserve to be , of course , for all that they bring to the classroom . But teachers come in and they pour their heart into what they do . They choose this field because they want to help other people . They want to give of themselves and they give and they give and they give . And that's a hard thing to come in and do every day , right . But I think if you do that and you're seeking that one moment that says yes , this is why I'm here , right , it's the whole like , it's the journey , not the destination in the classroom .

Cathy Tooley 5:02

Yeah , yeah , but it's the journey , not the destination

Finding Meaning in Student Connections

Cathy Tooley 5:03

in the classroom .

Speaker 2 5:03

But I think we've got to normalize being able to stop and celebrate those small things , being able to recognize when you have a success with a child that maybe you've been working really hard to get to . Maybe it's the shy kiddo in the back of the room who's too nervous to talk that finally walked up and asked you a question today and it's being cognizant of that moment , the courage it took and the relationship you had to build and foster for that child to feel comfortable enough , despite what they came into . Right .

Cathy Tooley 5:29

Yeah .

Speaker 2 5:30

So I remember one of the first times you and I met since this is our second partnership , right so in the first school where I was principal , when we partnered with you , and that day Kathy Tooley herself was still in the classrooms giving those .

Cathy Tooley 5:42

PDs , I was . I was out there doing the professional development .

Speaker 2 5:46

Yes , that's how I got hooked .

Cathy Tooley 5:48

Yes .

Speaker 2 5:50

You gave a professional development to our staff and I remember you talking about how we don't get to choose what our students come into the classroom with , right , and you gave the analogy of like it's the train and we don't know what's in the caboose or what baggage they bring . But I think when we look at our teachers , we have to remember those same things . They themselves are humans who have other factors in their lives that affect what they're coming in with . Their students come in and we've got to find ways to help manage that . And if it is teaching us to normalize , stopping and celebrating those positive moments , that's it . Celebrating the moment that someone walks up and says something positive to you , whether it's a parent who drops you a nice email and just says , thank you , oh , yes , right , yes , yes . Taking those moments to just to navigate those things and help it and celebrate .

Cathy Tooley 6:38

You know , I was just sitting here thinking wonder what it would have looked like . Can you imagine if we had done this ? I didn't , but if you're a new teacher watching this , pay attention . Wonder what it would have looked like to every day , before I went home , grab a notebook and jot down three things that went well today . Can you imagine what that would look like 10 , 20 , 30 years later ? Right , I never thought about it until just now , until you just said , because , like you just said , so many teachers think that , well , the fact that he thought that my class was worthwhile , well , duh , that's the minimum I could do Right minimum .

Speaker 2 7:11

But if you know the child and you've got those relationships and you know that background , like from him that was a giant hug and a bouquet of flowers , right , so it's recognizing those small things in it . You know you mentioned had you jotted it down I had a teacher early in my career , across the hall from me , very seasoned teacher , who said to me one time , elizabeth , when you have a bad week , she said anytime if I've had a really rough week because it's tough work , she said I send three positive emails . On Friday afternoon I need to walk out of here . She said A , it makes me stop and think what were three good things from the week . And B , she goes every now and then you'll walk in Monday morning to a thank you and it's enough to lift you into that next week . It's not about the thank you , it's about recognizing those positive things , just like we just said .

Cathy Tooley 7:59

It's about looking for those moments that make it all worth it . Wow , okay , do me a favor . Yeah , share a moment that you've witnessed that might have been a little bit more large or a little bit more , because I know some of our viewers are watching this thinking I don't even know that I can find the small things . What are some other things ? A nice note , a nice email , what are some other things ?

Speaker 2 8:28

And I'm going to say right here , with those nice notes and those nice emails , save them .

Cathy Tooley 8:33

I just did a podcast on that , right , I just did a podcast on it . Save them .

Speaker 2 8:37

I have a basket yes ,

Recognizing Administrative Victories Too

Speaker 2 8:39

I call mine . It's a folder titled Kissel Kudos and you just drop it . It's not , and it's okay to do that , right it is . It's not arrogant , it's not self-righteous . Who taught us that ? I don't know .

Cathy Tooley 8:51

Again , I think that's an older generation of we don't you know ? Don't claim all the great things you do . That's your job . For pity's sake , you don't need to be thanked to do your job , but don't you do a better job when you're thanked ?

Speaker 2 9:02

And it feels good to look and know the lives you've helped right , it does . It feels so good when I think about those now . Do you mean for myself , or do you mean something ?

Cathy Tooley 9:11

I've seen even in a teacher .

Speaker 2 9:24

It'll come to your heart , Any of those . I've seen a young lady who had trouble integrating back into the classrooms and just had some anxiety that made mornings tough . And seeing her grow from points where we really had to have a team help her get into the classrooms to the point that she walks up and down those halls smiling . She'll pop in just to say hi and do things and seeing that transition is a big one . Transition is a big one . One of the best parts for me of being an administrator , my favorite parts of the job , is you get to be that person . Parents come into and say , oh my gosh , can I tell you About that teacher .

Speaker 2 9:49

Yes , yes , and so the number of times I've seen parents on the verge of tears just saying she changed my child's life or he made him feel important enough to walk in each day . And the thing is and listen , you know , former math teacher , I love me some school data . I could live in that school data . I love curriculum . I love best practice . When we have these conversations , it's about the relationships .

Cathy Tooley 10:12

That's it .

Speaker 2 10:13

It's about the connections they've made with the students . Even when I talk with students who tell me I had an eighth grade boy a couple of weeks ago walk in and say this one was fun . He had just done morning announcements and he stopped after . He said by the way , I got to tell you great hire on Mrs So-and-so . And I said , yeah , and he goes , honestly , probably your best hire since you've been here , which I thought was the greatest comment ever from a 13-year-old boy . And then he proceeded to go on and talk about the subject . He's like you know , I've taken that my whole life . And he said but she just loves what she does and like she loves it so much that it makes it exciting to hear her talk about it . So I just look forward to going there because it's just interesting to hear it .

Cathy Tooley 11:01

But great , hire , that he was so smart that he knew she's there because of you . Oh , I didn't go there but thank you , but yeah , but that's it . That's exactly what he was saying , it's his indirect , it's exactly what you just said . It's those moments . That's a moment for you which is you've done a good job . You hired a teacher that I am connecting to that . I I didn't like the subject matter , but you did that .

Speaker 2 11:30

Well , and maybe that's the lesson , that even as administrators , we still look for those moments too and those connections , because I'm not sure you caught that connection . No , I didn't , I thought of it for her and it was about her .

Cathy Tooley 11:43

But he didn't go tell her . He told you , Fair enough . He told you we might've just had a little moment ourselves right there , right A little moment ourselves , because I think sometimes it gets even tougher when we become administrators Because we don't have the hugs anymore . You know , I taught high school . If they were hugging me , it was probably inappropriate anyway it's fair . So that wasn't happening anyway , but we don't . We just don't have that . I said before that one of the things I looked forward to is that what I call the grab and grin .

Cathy Tooley 12:19

You know the grab and grin at graduation where you're standing . Okay , we turned for the camera so we could get that immediate shot . And they squeezed my hand . It's her phone , so we'll pause . Yeah , I'm so sorry . You're fine . Hey , here's the good news . She can chop anything out , that's okay . I thought it was . Then I realized I know me too . I'm like it's not doing anything . I'm like , look at me .

Speaker 2 12:59

Why am I holding ?

Cathy Tooley 12:59

my phone .

Speaker 2 13:00

Then I realized it and I'm like darn it I can't , you're fine , okay .

Cathy Tooley 13:07

Anyway , I think we sometimes don't get opportunities as administrators because they don't come . The hugs aren't there , probably anymore . Like I said , I taught high school that would be inappropriate for the most part , although we got hugs . But you know , I mean the world we live in today . But , aside from a parent saying they don't usually come to a parent and maybe you have this experience differently than I they didn't usually come to my office to tell me how great I was . Principally , they came to my office to tell me how great one of my teachers was .

Cathy Tooley 13:37

And so what ? I think , maybe , that you , elizabeth , may have just provided a great lesson that you didn't even realize that the Lord wanted you to provide , which is he didn't go compliment that teacher . Probably will . My bet is he loves that teacher and he's going to go back and compliment him . He came in to compliment you . Now , he did it in his manly way of great hire , mrs Kissel , because that's about , as we know , we know sometimes , the age of boys . That's what we get . But that was all about you . That was all about you .

Speaker 2 14:12

I did not even go there , but thank you , I will

Creating a Culture of Celebration

Speaker 2 14:15

. I appreciate that perspective .

Cathy Tooley 14:17

Because we don't see those . I was blessed enough as a high school principal to get those . You know , as I said , when you do the grab and grin and they squeeze your hand , that extra moment , when they're taking , that moment where we're turning and smiling , and then they look to me and go , I just get that , see , but that's it right there .

Speaker 2 14:35

It's those small things , that's it .

Cathy Tooley 14:36

So here's what .

Speaker 2 14:37

I want to normalize with this Kathy In teachers' lounges , any school you're ever going to go into , right , it's a safe place to walk in , take a deep breath , vent if you've had a tough moment , because they have them . That's right . What I want to normalize is walking in and saying , celebrating .

Cathy Tooley 14:54

Right , look , so-and-so . Went down the hall today without any escort . Did anyone see that ?

Speaker 2 15:00

Look at what ? Because we do so much great work but it's so easy to get caught in the frustrations and the behavior management and navigating test scores and prepping for tests and all of those things Paying attention to state mandates and those things are grueling . But I think the more we're intentional and making it okay to say I had a really great day today , I recognize this , I did this , I helped make and teachers are too humble to do that because they don't do it for the glory . They're amazing , right .

Cathy Tooley 15:26

But we're going to make a podcast , just like today . For that very reason , bring me back . It's time to start celebrating . I think so . It's time to look at the little moments that you take as normal , but they're pivotal in a child's life because of you , because of you , and it's time for us to start celebrating that . I wonder what it would look like , as you just said , if we started to have workrooms full of celebrations when we started our . I remember not often going to the workroom Because I felt like I needed a shower when I left you know what I mean .

Speaker 2 16:04

I've been in buildings that were like that I'm going to say , and I love the building I'm in so much right now .

Cathy Tooley 16:10

We do have great teachers . We do they're fantastic .

Speaker 2 16:12

Yes , they're fantastic , and they're good at recognizing those things and they're good at telling each other which I think is a huge piece too Just that moment to stop and we'll start every staff meeting , you know , with kudos and just listening to the great things they say to each other . So I think that also goes to those moments that make it worthwhile . It's not always just from a student . Sometimes it's a colleague who stops and says thank you , what I learned from you made my day better .

Cathy Tooley 16:39

Thank you for covering me for just a minute to go to the bathroom . Thank you , see . Thank you for letting me go to the bathroom so I could actually teach the rest of the day .

Speaker 2 16:47

Just the little things , yeah , just those moments to stop and think , I think , as administrators , those moments to intentionally acknowledge the great work you see in the teachers too . So , as much as we say like the , when you think about , like those aha moments most often it's what I saw in a student or what a student said to me I hope that as an administrator , I can help provide some of those or tell a teacher I'm not sure if you noticed , but if you had seen the way this child smiled when you walked away , or what they recognized , I think one of the reasons I'm in the seat I'm in right now . I have a distinct memory of the first moment my administrative team , when I was teaching middle school math , came to me and said hey , we're getting ready to do these learning walks and we'd like to showcase something I had done in my classroom . I was a young teacher at that point .

Speaker 2 17:38

I didn't know that what I was doing was worthy of other people and I was in a large public . We live in a bubble , we have no clue what's happening outside of us , but I was in a large public middle school nearby , very high performing school , loaded with just so much talent and the teachers around me that I remember going home and telling my husband like I don't know why , they'd want to watch me . Well , afterwards , one of the things that they always did at this school is , if you observe someone else , you always dropped them a positive postcard and let them know what you had seen in their room . And that was a moment for me as a teacher , like I had no idea , but it meant something and it set me down a path of seeking leadership opportunities . For sure I do , but it resonates with me now in this role that I remember moments that administrators paused and gave genuine positive feedback , and words of affirmation tend to be the love language of teachers .

Cathy Tooley 18:28

It's what they do .

Speaker 2 18:29

They are .

Cathy Tooley 18:30

They are .

Speaker 2 18:30

It's what they do all day long . That's why they teach .

Cathy Tooley 18:32

That's right . So Well , as we wrap this episode up , I'm going to leave you with this challenge . I want you to share that story with your staff , about your kudo that you hadn't even thought about . You could call off a teacher too , that's okay , but that you hadn't even . Because I think we have to , as administrators

Challenge to Share Victories

Cathy Tooley 18:52

, mirror what we expect them to do . That's fair .

Speaker 2 18:54

That's a hard thing to do . When it comes to recognizing something that happened for you , though , we can't expect someone else to do something .

Cathy Tooley 18:58

We're not willing to do ourself . So my challenge to you is is that you call that out All right , that it really . It didn't hit me until it was pointed out to me , whether you mentioned me by name or not , that , yeah , they were actually complimenting me and that not only are you a great principal , but you had a lot of great hires . They're all sitting in front of you . Yes , they are , they're all sitting in front of you , so thank you for being here today .

Speaker 2 19:20

Oh my , pleasure For being a part of it .

Cathy Tooley 19:22

We really appreciate it and thank all of you guys for watching and we'll see you next time . Have a .