The Beauty of a Teacher’s Heart | S1E5

What makes a great teacher? It’s not just the test scores or lesson plans — it’s the heart. In this emotional and deeply inspiring episode, Cathy Tooley sits down with Elizabeth Kissel, a school principal and former math teacher, to talk about what truly matters in the classroom: connection, love, and showing up for kids in ways that last a lifetime.

Elizabeth shares the story of a teacher who transformed her school culture through simple acts of love — from custom handshakes to singing transitions — and reminds us why leading with heart matters now more than ever. Whether you're a teacher, administrator, or parent, this episode will move you, challenge you, and remind you that the “small stuff” isn’t small at all.

Step into growth and purpose! Discover my books and resources designed to help you lead, learn, and live with impact.

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//About

Cathy Tooley is the Founder & CEO of Tools for Success and a seasoned educator with over 40 years in K–12 classrooms and school leadership. From high school teacher to principal, Cathy has dedicated her life to supporting educators. In 2014, she launched Tools for Success to provide real, in-person instructional coaching—not just “PD in a box.” She’s the author of The Education System Is Broken, a national speaker, and a fierce advocate for teachers. Through this podcast, she’s spotlighting the ripple effect of great teaching.
🔗 Website | YouTube | Facebook | LinkedIn

Transcript

Welcome and Introduction

Cathy Tooley 0:04

Your hip . I'm so sorry .

Elizabeth Kissel 0:06

Oh no , it's okay , it just .

Cathy Tooley 0:10

She didn't move . I did the rebel child . God , with this we'll be almost halfway through . Oh happy day . Actually , it's gone really fast . It's gone really fast . Good , so this is not felt . I drove up today thinking 16 25 minute episodes and 20 YouTube videos and it's been a blessing to me . I cried , rebecca , I did Dang it . She cried . She cried the first time Right and that one wasn't even that moving .

Elizabeth Kissel 0:43

Are you having Oprah moments ? Oh , I did , she'll tell you , I tried wasn't even that moving .

Cathy Tooley 0:46

Are you having Oprah moments ? Oh , I did . She'll tell you . I tried to stop . There was no stopping it . Oof , oh my God . Okay , before I leave , we can move Ready . So 32 , 42 , 52 to 54 . Okay ready , you ready ? Yes , okay , hi everybody , welcome back Kathy Tooley , so excited to have you a part of my podcast Today . I am joined with the one , the only , the Elizabeth Kissel . Hi , elizabeth .

Elizabeth Kissel 1:11

Hey , kathy , good to have you here .

Cathy Tooley 1:13

So Elizabeth is a former math teacher . She's been in education now for 22 years . 15 years she spent teaching math . Let's just leave that there for all you math teachers out there . I was the language person and then the past seven as a building level principal , Mom of three lovely children and a hubby We'll claim him too right .

Elizabeth Kissel 1:34

Most days yeah .

Cathy Tooley 1:35

I get that too . I have one too for almost 40 years , so we'll claim him too . She has graciously agreed . Elizabeth's actually one of our school partners too , so my company works with her school , so when I asked her to be on this , she so graciously agreed and we're doing , as you know , this series called the Ripple Effect of a Teacher . So today we're really going to talk about , really the beauty of a teacher's heart Boy . I don't think that is something that we talk about People . People don't get the heart it takes to be a teacher .

Elizabeth Kissel 2:11

And so thank you Absolutely .

Cathy Tooley 2:13

Thank you for being . When you think about a teacher's heart , tell me what you think .

The Beauty of a Teacher's Heart

Elizabeth Kissel 2:21

Because you picked this , I did pick this . I'm going to tell you one of the reasons . This is exciting to me at this moment as a topic . Last Friday we give our annual it's called the Our Lady of Providence Award the School of Alarm Principal . It's a parochial school , so that's our version of the Teacher of the Year Award . So we gather all these nominations from our school partners . So I spent all of last week reading dozens upon dozens of nominations . So this topic stood out for me from the standpoint that I literally just spent the last week and a half reading volumes of recommendations from parents , and what stood out to me in there is exactly the point of this the heart of the teacher . The reasons that parents were nominating them was the value they see in their children , was the way they make them feel when they come in . It's the soft , subjective stuff , right . It's not something you can put on a resume . It's not a certificate you can hang on a wall . It's not extra letters after your name or the degree .

Cathy Tooley 3:19

It's not the math or the English or the science , it's not .

Elizabeth Kissel 3:25

And as much as you and I might like to think the math , the math and the language arts right , we do . And the state test stores that come with them and listen . That's right , you and I've talked like I love all of that stuff . It's those personal connections and the teachers that and I've told you this before my my building is just bursting at the seams with teachers who lead with their heart and love what they do and are amazing in reading through those nominations . But just to see the impact , like really seeing the impact these teachers have had , not only on the kids , on their family life when they get home , right , that they make the children feel welcome from the second they enter the room that they're they're greeting them at the door , that they're investing outside of their lives or showing up to watch them in sporting events or at their first communions .

Cathy Tooley 4:08

That is far too often underestimated .

Elizabeth Kissel 4:11

It is , but it matters , it matters . Not that they have to , because I know they've all got busy lives and no one's asking you to stay to every game all the time .

Cathy Tooley 4:19

No , show up for 10 minutes and make sure they see you . Yeah , yeah .

Elizabeth Kissel 4:25

Or stopping to ask them about it .

Cathy Tooley 4:26

The next day . Yes , did you win ? How was it ? What happened ? Or if they have that scrape or whatever happened , acknowledge that clearly they took a hit last night at the football game . What did that look like ? Yeah , it is . It is exactly about the heart . So do me a favor , tell me a story of a parent or a student that defined that beauty of the heart to you .

Elizabeth Kissel 4:49

Well , the easy one for me to go with here is to speak to the teacher we just gave that award to on Friday , because I just wrote a beautiful speech for her on Friday about those very things , summarizing the things that were shared about this teacher that I had the great honor to be able to pass along and to recognize her for were . I can't tell you the number of people who just said she sees the beauty in each child

Award-Winning Teacher Example

Elizabeth Kissel 5:15

as they walk in . She sits outside her door and every child gets their favorite handshake and acknowledgement first thing when they come in . I see those they are . It's a lovely practice and she's really taken a lead on that in our building .

Elizabeth Kissel 5:29

She's a primary grade teacher . She will turn things into song and things that could have been a lecture or whatever about the transitions . She's got this beautiful voice . You go in and it's kind of like stepping into a Disney princess movie for a moment that she just radiates this love and warmth and these simple , you know songs that lead the transition instead of you know dictating orders at them . She brings character development into her classroom and just infuses those teachable moments , even when disciplinary or behavior issues pop up in the classroom .

Cathy Tooley 6:03

Which I'm sure they do .

Elizabeth Kissel 6:04

Which they will in any classroom anywhere , right , but what really strikes me in this particular teacher that we got to recognize is the caring and the love that she puts into it . And I always ask teachers how can I best support you ? Right , and sometimes the answer is we need this to go to the office . She will always say I would really like to be there to be a part of it and help lead some resolution here and bring them . It's so important to her that the kids both feel valued and that they know what to do next . I've also listened to her when she talks with parents and that same love and care that she puts into them she will pour right into that conversation with the parents and I just I have to imagine that any parent gets off the phone and says , my goodness , like how blessed are we to have they care right . It comes back to those relationships and the care that she has , the genuine concern she has for her students as individual people . It just comes through .

Cathy Tooley 7:00

How many years has she been teaching ?

Elizabeth Kissel 7:04

I think she has been teaching 14 total . It's just been two here .

Cathy Tooley 7:08

We're not talking . Someone way at it who's a veteran 30 , 40 years at this .

Elizabeth Kissel 7:12

No she had been home for a while , has been back in the classroom for a couple of years now and just I mean she just melted into that classroom when she stepped back in , started with us a couple years ago and is beautiful .

Cathy Tooley 7:25

What do you think she would say to the brand new teacher that's coming out of the field and says I don't know she has this , Elizabeth , I don't . She innately is this . And while that may be true , what could we learn from her ? What could teachers learn from her ?

Elizabeth Kissel 7:42

Well , the first thing I'll tell you is that this particular individual is so humble she would say , oh , oh goodness , what a blessing . And I can't imagine that I would be the person like she is , so humble , it would never occur to her to be that person , of course . I think that humility is part of what people find so beautiful in it Love them first .

Cathy Tooley 8:01

There it is Right , there it is .

Elizabeth Kissel 8:03

We'll go a little , mother Teresa , on it .

Cathy Tooley 8:05

Love them as Christ did . Yeah , I think that is so far too often . Loft in our field is that we are getting the opportunity , as educators , to teach his children . Yeah , and we have to love them as he loved them first . Yeah , first , before we can teach the math or English , as you and I know , so important needs to be done . We have to love them first . Yeah , we have to love them first . Important needs to be done . We have to love them first . We have to love them first . What do you wish teachers could know about how important that , what I call the beauty of a teacher's heart , is ? If you could to everyone listening

Love Students First

Cathy Tooley 8:40

to this podcast today , what would you want them to know about that beauty of their heart that may exist in them that they're not even aware ? Is there ? What would you want to call out ?

Elizabeth Kissel 8:52

That's a great question . I think it's don't underestimate the small stuff . That's it . Don't underestimate the small stuff and listen , like I think and I'm going to put myself in the category of probably every administrator in any school . We talk a lot about data , we talk a lot about curriculum , we put energy and professional development into those things , but just don't underestimate how important those connections are and the growth you can yield purely because you took the time to get to know them and that sometimes that's what opens the door to be able to make the rest of that growth .

Cathy Tooley 9:30

But just don't To me , it starts with the heart . Yeah , what is that old expression of no one cares what you know until they know how much you care yeah . They know how much you care .

Elizabeth Kissel 9:40

But it's a culture builder , right Like it shifts the culture in that whole building when you see kids come in and they feel welcome walking in the door . It shifts their mindset and readiness for the day , which makes everybody's day go better .

Cathy Tooley 9:51

Yeah , that silly little , tell me about that handshake she does .

Elizabeth Kissel 9:55

Oh , she'll have a couple different outside the door and give the children a chance to choose . Would you rather have a butterfly ?

Cathy Tooley 10:03

I've seen those on TikTok . I've seen those on TikTok before .

Elizabeth Kissel 10:06

And with that too , though , it's also important to recognize the kids that physical touch is not comfortable for , and they just want to wave .

Cathy Tooley 10:12

For sure . But she took the time to take something that she probably saw on a TikTok or saw something out there and thought I'll give this a shot .

Elizabeth Kissel 10:18

She does a lot of training in that domain . It's her .

Cathy Tooley 10:21

But for me the takeaway is it's not about the activity . It still goes back to that . As a teacher who is looking for , I want and need to do something that will make my students see and feel my heart . I don't know that I would have wanted to do a handshake thing like that , and I think that's what I feel pressed to lead in that it's not about the handshake , it's not .

Elizabeth Kissel 10:46

So to that extent too , I think the other piece that I would say , Kathy

Authenticity in Teaching

Elizabeth Kissel 10:50

, is be authentic to who you are .

Cathy Tooley 10:51

That's it Right .

Elizabeth Kissel 10:52

That's it , because what works for one teacher .

Cathy Tooley 10:54

That would feel inauthentic to me .

Elizabeth Kissel 10:56

Doesn't work for the teacher across the hall or down the hall or around the corner , but I see amazing things in every one of those rooms and what works in a preschool through eight , quite frankly , in our building , right Like what is working in preschool , is not the same strategy that my seventh grade teacher is going to work on .

Cathy Tooley 11:14

They would roll their eyes at that , correct .

Elizabeth Kissel 11:16

But I don't think that it's about trying to be anyone else . I don't think it's looking and saying I like how that teacher does it . I have to be them . I think that it is about recognizing who you are and what feels your . Not every teacher needs to walk in a classroom and sing . I mean , some people do it and it is magic . Some teachers should not walk into a classroom and sing . They should not walk into a classroom and sing . Some teachers need to just find the song on YouTube .

Cathy Tooley 11:37

That's right and never sing , because singing is not .

Elizabeth Kissel 11:42

But find your thing , that's it . And if your thing , I've got a middle school teacher who keeps chess boards out and kids will pop in and they just kind of banter back and forth and there's other . I mean I could name a zillion strategies for connections . They do up and down the building but that's where that magic comes from and it connects with that teacher and I think it's beautiful that kids , throughout the course of their school , get teachers with different personalities and they're going to connect some with more than others and they will have different bosses with personalities and different spouses .

Elizabeth Kissel 12:13

But be who you are and be authentic to that and bring that in every day . And when you lead with who you authentically are , good things happen .

Cathy Tooley 12:23

I think that's the question of it all , which is , how do you show a student that you care ? How do you show them your heart ? I mean , you've given a few examples , but that really is the crux of it how do you show a student your heart ? And I agree , we as a company do a really good job in helping teachers unpack data and understand rigor and all the things that we do , but at the end of the day , the successful teachers are not only taking those tools , yeah , but they're showing those kids their heart .

Elizabeth Kissel 12:52

I mean , I think it's as simple as when you ask how was your weekend remembering what they said ? That's it . I had an eighth grade boy tell me recently he was talking about one of his teachers that he's really going to miss , and it was that he stops to ask this particular student . Legos are his thing and he does like the big , super elaborate and he gets really into them and they take months .

Elizabeth Kissel 13:14

There's a show where they could win money building Legos out there he's like yeah , he said he just he made me feel like I mattered from the beginning , or however . He said it in his eighth grade language . But the example he kept coming back to is he'll always check in on how my Legos are doing . That's the connection Right , like for that student that he cared enough to ask about something that isn't in front of him at school was enough to like , yeah , connect him , that's enough that I know .

Cathy Tooley 13:39

I know I matter , I know , I matter , I know , I matter . Oh , perfect All right .

Elizabeth Kissel 13:43

One more question .

Cathy Tooley 13:45

Tell me a story for you , for you personally , how you showed . You can pick , I'll let you pick how either . As a teacher , you showed students your heart , although I think we have enough stories for that , so I'm going to push you a little . How do you show your teachers your heart ?

Elizabeth Kissel 14:03

Because remember there's administrators watching this .

Cathy Tooley 14:06

Yeah , and they too are like right , right . But now my job is to evaluate these people , my job is to decide whether they remain hired or not . How do we , as administrators , as leaders ,

Administrators Showing Heart to Teachers

Cathy Tooley 14:20

show teachers our heart , show parents our heart ? How do we do that ? How do you do that , elizabeth , that ? Do you do that , elizabeth ?

Elizabeth Kissel 14:27

That is a great question , Kathy . I think it comes back to some of those same pieces , and it is hard to be vulnerable as an administrator because you've got a tight line to walk .

Cathy Tooley 14:40

We're not invited to the bonfires and the fun parties and things that we were as a teacher and we get that ?

Elizabeth Kissel 14:45

No , and that's a hard part of the job .

Cathy Tooley 14:47

That's a hard part of the job , especially if you talk with those people . That is a very difficult part of the job , and you go to church with these people , or you're in a parochial building , as you are , but how do we still show them our heart , because we have to . How do we do that ?

Elizabeth Kissel 15:01

So early on in my administrative career , a former administrator I was struggling with this and I was trying to just tow the professional very tight and a former assistant principal I had worked with said you know , elizabeth , it's , it's OK to be a person . Share , you know , in your weekly memo . Share an anecdote from the weekend or something that makes you a little bit more personable , a little more human . Show who you are . It took me a while as a new administrator to get comfortable with that . I think it comes to the same things as an administrator that it comes to as a teacher . It's building relationships . It's talking to teachers , not just about the practice . It's not walking in and saying what lesson are you going to have , it's knowing that ?

Cathy Tooley 15:45

What data are you using ? What curriculum ?

Elizabeth Kissel 15:47

are we aligned to . Knowing that they went out of town to visit a parent this weekend and stopping to ask how their parent is doing . It's knowing their children by name and asking about them . I've tried . Even in my first year at this particular school . When Halloween came around , I made goodie bags for all the teachers' kids , because teachers' kids don't get enough credit for the hours they put in those buildings the copies they make , I agree .

Cathy Tooley 16:14

I agree how long Mommy and Daddy are away , I agree .

Elizabeth Kissel 16:18

The copies they make for the classrooms , the bulletin boards they put up . That's right .

Cathy Tooley 16:22

That's right .

Elizabeth Kissel 16:22

The money they spend on their own . Small thing and I never want to share any of this as like a pat on the back for it , and I don't know if it worked .

Cathy Tooley 16:30

Isn't it so hard for us to admit it ? Well it is .

Elizabeth Kissel 16:32

But just I've tried little things like that right , like just stop , and I want you to know I willing , even if you know you're not at Friday night happy hour that popping another prep period , and how are you and listen and legitimately mean how are you Right ?

Cathy Tooley 16:50

How was the lesson Not , how was the data Not ? What did the assessment look like ?

Elizabeth Kissel 16:54

today .

Cathy Tooley 16:55

But how are you ?

Elizabeth Kissel 16:56

Talking to . I think that recognizing that personal side of it is huge . And then you know the flip side of it is we have to have the nitty gritty conversations and the technical conversations too . But just finding those organic opportunities to share positive feedback , tell them when you've seen those glimmers or you've heard positive things . If a parent stops and tells you something great like I love getting to walk into a classroom and say you are not going to believe what I just got in my inbox , I couldn't agree more into a classroom and say you are not going to believe what I just got in my inbox , I couldn't agree more . I'm not surprised . But man , do I love knowing other people see that .

Cathy Tooley 17:30

I love it . Thank you for sharing all of that . Yes , for being here and being a part of it . Thank you , guys for watching it's been . It's always great to have fellow administrators who have what I think of as walk the walk and talk the talk with me . And while I am not in the trenches anymore , as you are every day , I thank you because you are an example of a heart .

Elizabeth Kissel 17:53

The reason that .

Cathy Tooley 17:53

I wanted you here on the podcast is because when I see you and it's so funny when you picked this topic , I thought spoken from someone who is a heart . So , not only because you're one of our partner , not only because you're one of our partner schools and because you're one of our partner schools , but thank you for

Final Thoughts and Closing

Cathy Tooley 18:10

showing up every day with the heart that you do for kids and for teachers .

Elizabeth Kissel 18:14

That's where my fulfillment comes in . I think , when we can make , when we can care enough about our teachers that we keep their buckets full so they can , in turn , care for their students , it's and it's something we needed for one more day .

Cathy Tooley 18:30

Yes , it's all we needed for one more day . So thank you everyone for joining us , and thank you for elizabeth for thank you , kathy being here as one of my guests and we can't wait to see you on a future episode . Have a great day everybody . There you go .