Snitchin
Tired of the daily grind and endless, unattainable influencer posts? Welcome to Snitchin, the podcast for the everyday woman. Take a break from your day and join two best friends as they get real about life, learn about new things, laugh, and build a community where everyone has a story to share. Reach out to us at snitchinpod@gmail.com - we would love to hear from you!
Snitchin
Episode 52: The One Where We Talk Breast Cancer Awareness with Tina
We sit down with our friend Tina—lobbyist, unflinching advocate, and newly in remission from breast cancer—to unpack how policy meets the chemo chair. We talk prevention and detection, the power of self-advocacy, and how loved ones help.
• Tina talks to us about scalp cooling as dignity care and why insurance should cover it, along with earlier detection tests and IVF for cancer patients as essential healthcare
• Tina shares her diagnosis story and the importance of advocating for your own healthcare
• How she and her husband grew in their relationship throughout her treatments and ever since
• How loved ones can offer practical support: meal trains, rideshare gift cards and delivery gift cards
• Prevention methods: genetics, ultrasounds, hormones, and blood work. Check out HerScan, an organization that offers easy access to Breast Ultrasound Screening Technology at https://www.herscan.com/.
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Ready? Ready? Ready.
SPEAKER_02:I love it. We have a third ready. Hey everyone. Welcome back to the latest episode of Snitchin. It's your host, Kristen.
SPEAKER_03:And Brittany, get ready for the best part of your day. And we also have a friend Tina here.
SPEAKER_02:We are so excited to have you. Welcome to the pod.
SPEAKER_01:Thank you guys so much. No, it's exciting. It's it's weird to be on a Zoom call with your friends during a workday, but I'm here for it. I love it. It's great to see some see some friendly faces. So thanks for having me.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, Bernie was just saying it's much better than a work call. And it's also like a little bit of five years ago, COVID times when people would just like hang out with their friends on Zoom, but like a fun one, not like how those were, you know?
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. I'm not trying to get drunk on Zoom and do half hours and baby showers on Zoom ever again.
SPEAKER_01:That was the pass. Let's leave it there.
SPEAKER_02:Totally. Agreed. We were also mentioning that Tina has actually been brought up on the pod before one of our very first episodes. I think maybe in the first five. We talked about her bachelorette party. Tina just got married this summer, and the bachelorette was so much fun. It was at a casino, Foxwoods. Honestly, like I am a casino girl now. That's where you got to do the bachelorette, ladies. It's one place, it's easy peasy, so much to do. We had so much fun.
SPEAKER_01:We have to do it once a year. We just have to as a friend group. It was needed. It wasn't just my bachelorette. I think it was self-care for every single person that was there. We've all been through so much in many different capacities. We're at many different points of our lives, you know, even though we're a great close-knit friend group, we're all experiencing different things and we just needed a moment. We all needed a moment and it was perfect. So agreed, but definitely need to get back to the once-a-year girls' trips.
SPEAKER_03:No co-sign.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:We need to go in the winter though, because it's like you're just kind of stuck inside the whole day, which is fine.
SPEAKER_00:But yes, yes.
SPEAKER_02:That's a good point. It's like you wouldn't even really know that it's the winter time. I'm a big proponent of like you have to go away. If you're gonna take a trip, I think honestly, the best month to do it is February and kind of in the middle of February, because you've made it through, you know, holidays, there's some charm to the weather, so it's not as brutal. January, you're kind of like, oh, this is getting a little long. And then that February break, if you can just get a little bit of like a mini bag, exactly what you need.
SPEAKER_01:We used to do that. Remember, we used to do Maine in New Hampshire like around that time. Yes. So I'm gonna bring it back, y'all. We just need an organizer, we need someone to volunteer as a tribute. I'll be co, but we need we need just like a strong-handed organizer that's gonna get this through. So for all those friends that are listening, you're gonna receive a text.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, one of you guys should do it. I'll weigh in. I'll give my thoughts and feedback. But yeah, what are we gonna talk about today? I feel like I need you to explain what your job is because it's like way over my head.
SPEAKER_01:I got you. I got you. Well, actually, one of the funniest things too I was thinking about is I just came from the Democratic Governors Association event. So it's literally an event that was based here in Boston. Every quarter, it's in a different location. Companies can get access and membership to these events. I myself work for DoorDash. Um, so we're part of kind of a tech industry that's part of these events. And so there's governors from all over the country, uh, Democratic, of course. So, you know, we had Mori Healy there today. We had Janet Mills from Maine. We had Governor Dan McKee from Rhode Island, we had Governor Kathy Hogel from New York. So just like a great group of individuals, a lot of tea on what the party's looking at future forward, and then just like priorities. And one of them specifically was about women in life sciences and the importance of female health, right? And I know we're gonna be talking about that today, too. So I just thought it was kind of a perfect opportunity to talk about politics, lobbying, and what this month is, which is brass cancer awareness month as well. So backing up a small bit, I've been at DoorDash for five years. I'm the government relations manager for New England, which I think is the best, best region to have. Not only because, you know, it's gorgeous all year round to travel to the different state houses in the region, but you're dealing with a pretty rational group of folks when it comes to elected officials that you can really have a conversation with. And so at DoorDash as a government relations manager, or as some people call it, a lobbyist, I meet with elected officials and I advocate for DoorDash. So I advocate for not just the business, the technology platform, but I advocate for consumers that use DoorDash. I advocate for Dashers, the individuals who deliver meals from, you know, a restaurant to the doorstep of someone who ordered. I advocate for merchants. So those are our restaurant and our retail partners. And so I meet with elected officials and I say, hey, this law or this proposed law would negatively impact the technology platform, consumers, restaurants, retailers, people who dash, people who deliver, or it would positively impact those audiences. And if it negatively impacts, it's like, here's why, and here's what we'd like to change, or here's why this bill is something, or this proposed law is something that really should not take effect. And if it's positive, it's I advocate for yes, this is something that's brilliant for these audiences, and it would stir economic development. It would stir opportunities for uh barriers, for barriers of access to work to be removed, you know, or it would allow for opportunities for consumers to get greater products and help those that are immunocompromised or might have transportation barriers or might be caregivers or single parents who just want things delivered to their house. It's no longer a convenience item. A lot of folks use DoorDash for a plethora of reasons. And I'm here to just help to make sure that the lights stay on.
SPEAKER_02:I love that. What an interesting like job to have, especially in that industry where it's like in the last 10 years, DoorDash is blown up. And you're right, it's not just for food delivery anymore. And like I imagine that you're thinking about what do like what benefits do Dashers get? What do what are they entitled to if they, you know, something happens to them when they're out delivering? So that's pretty cool that you get to do that. And like you mentioned, really like the meat of today's episode is gonna be talking about lobbying for women's health. So Tina is recently in remission. Let me know if I'm misspeaking on any of this, Tina, but you were diagnosed with breast cancer two years ago?
SPEAKER_00:January of 2024. So yes, yeah. That's wow. Almost two years, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:That's crazy. So yes, and then recently, newly in remission, as of what date? As of June. Let's go. Huge and let us tell you, as two good friends of Tina here on the call, she is such a champ, so much grace through this whole journey. And we're really excited to hear you talk a little bit more about that, but also maybe we start on the lobbying front since we just got a good background into what you do, you know, this being breast cancer awareness month. Like, is there something that you want people to be aware of in terms of lobbying for women's health? Just anything that you feel strongly about.
SPEAKER_01:I think obviously I went through a year and a half of treatment. I'm in remission right now. And so that's that looks like five years is when after five years of, you know, no reoccurrence, no problems, you're kind of you know out of the gates and you're in you're in really good shape. So still kind of keeping an eye on things, making sure that we're moving in the right direction. But just a great achievement. And thank you so much. This is a shout out to not just you guys, the rest of the Canton girls, my family, my family in Ireland, my family here, my friends, my work, colleagues, everyone has just been absolutely freaking phenomenal. And also, more importantly, my husband and my in-laws as well. It really does truly take a village, and we'll kind of chat about that today as well. But going through this treatment so intimately has really raised so many different policy issues to me that I think really definitely need to be looked into. And I know we have organizations like the American Cancer Society and uh the Breast Cancer Society as well, and the Susan G. Coleman Society, et cetera. And I'm sure they're working on all of these, but this is Tina's hot take. Um, you know, as someone who loved her hair and as someone who had beautiful long locks, you know, going through a diagnosis like this, that was something that you had to recognize that you were going to lose. And one of the big things that they offer for you as someone who's undergoing breast cancer treatment is called scalp cooling. And that's something that essentially this helmet that you put on your head that freezes your hair follicles during your chemo appointment. And you wear that your whole chemo appointment. For me, I wore it 45 minutes before I started chemo, and then I wore it for the almost three hours that I was going through chemo, and then I did a 90-minute cool down as well. So you're in this for a number of hours, it freezes your eyeballs. It feels like your eyeballs are gonna pop out, it feels like you're on Mount Everest. It's hard. It's it's just a really uncomfortable and painful thing to go through. However, there are many benefits to it. Chemo is very toxic. And since it, you know, can lead to alopecia, permanent hair loss, it's definitely an opportunity to use this to kind of re-regrow the hair follicles pretty fast after you lose the hair. So when you take off it at the end of the session, there's icicles on your whatever is left of your hair. It it makes everything so cold. And you do that every time you have chemos. So I did it for six rounds. So for six months, six times, I put that on. And it actually made my hair grow back, as you can see. I know folks that are listening obviously can't, but uh, it made it grow back like crazy. You know, did I look like a golem for a little bit? Yep, I did. Did I look like Friar Tuck? Yes. Joe Dirt, you name it. But I made it out and I'm in the mullet phase, and it was it's a scientific, you know, device that is just phenomenal. And the problem though is that it is not covered by insurance. And so if you cannot afford$2,500, then you cannot afford this treatment. And so it obviously allows you to maintain some sense of dignity. It is a painful thing to do. Uh, you you get over it after a while. A little out of in helps, and some Tylenol and Motrin, but it's an opportunity to help you get your life back on track. And so after the six months of using it, my hair was starting to grow back pretty much as soon as I was losing it, which was great to see. So there were areas that were still hanging on while new areas were growing in and the loss had already happened. So as I think about going through this process, scalp cooling and having that covered by insurance to allow people to access that is huge. Kathy Hokel, the governor of New York, last year signed it into a law officially that insurance companies in New York did have to cover scalp cooling for breast cancer patients. So that's something I think that's that's huge. And of course, like people can say it's vanity, but it's it's dignity at the end of the day.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, no. I think that, you know, losing your hair, it's something that's so like core to a lot of women and their identity. And I feel like I can, I mean, obviously I can't imagine, but I would imagine that going through this, like you're saying, as you're losing some hair, seeing some other hair grow in, like that must have also been an emotional like boost, I would, I would think, right? But like seeing, seeing kind of the other side some symbolically through some of your hair starting to regrow.
SPEAKER_01:I love that. Absolutely. And it and I think you know, another kind of component which I've thought about too is you do not get a mammogram until you're 45 in America. I was diagnosed at 33. And there's multiple multiple reasons why I've been told why women don't get mammograms till they're 45. One of the biggest culprits is insurance, right? So insurance companies would have to cover 10 more years of a population, you know, for mammograms. I know a lot of the time younger women who are our age and younger have dense breasts. So they say that mammograms aren't gonna be showing up more clear or as clear and they might not be as effective. But having the opportunity to have a mammogram at a younger age, that's a policy change that needs to happen. It's not something that insurance companies are gonna take on their own. That needs advocacy as well. And so, you know, if there was an opportunity to have a mammogram earlier, would we have found the stage three breast cancer that I had? Yeah, we would have, you know, or breast ultrasounds, you know, that is definitely another way in order to kind of see what the lymph nodes look like, if there are tumors, if there are masses of concern. That's kind of another policy change that I've I've thought about. And my biggest, and we'll get into kind of recommendations and thoughts too, but if a great aunt, if a third cousin, if a grandmother has had breast cancer, let your PCP know, let your OBGYN know because that automatically triggers a mammogram for you. And so that is something to keep in mind, you know, even if it seems like crazily distant, that's something that you should you should totally advocate for yourself. And then I think the last thing, like in terms of lobbying that needs to be done in this sector, is IVF. You know, for myself, I had 10 days to do IVF before I started chemo. And after that, there was no opportunity, and there will be no opportunity for me to get any eggs. And that was not covered by insurance. Even though I had a cancer diagnosis, it was not covered by insurance. And so I think that's another thing that we should really think about, and folks should think about as we look at oncelf fertility and you know, covering that for cancer patients as well. So, yeah, that's that's my thoughts, really deep on lobbying. And, you know, for myself, I come from a long professional history of being an advocate, obviously working at DoorDash for the last five years. I did immigration and labor issues before that. And before that, I worked at a lobbying firm in Beacon Hill in Boston for five years representing telecom, banking, insurance, higher ed, nonprofits. So being an advocate has always been ingrained in me. And so as I now have gone through this own personal process, advocacy comes front and center in terms of your physical health, health, and your mental health. And it's just like what TSA says like see something, say something. As soon as you see something that just does not seem right, say something about it and fight like freaking hell to get an appointment. I had to go through Zoc Doc because I could not get an OEG. Zoc Doc is an online sort of scheduling website. So you can actually find doctors to they'll just put on their own times and dates that they're available instead of trying to call up, you know, MGH or the Brigham and trying to come up, call up a PCP office to say, like, what times do you have? And getting an email back on trying to schedule through like AI or a chat bot. It's an opportunity to see PCPs or Oberjuans or optometrists or whatever it may be that are putting it out there transparently, you know, what times they're available and scheduling through that platform. Fight like hell to get an appointment once you see something and being your best advocate is the most important part of this process.
SPEAKER_02:Me and Brittany talk about that all the time that like with your health, you do you have to be an advocate so much. And I think it's something that you don't necessarily grow up knowing. You kind of just totally trust the system or whatever, but you you really do. So I think that's so important. That was, I remember when you were going through that with the IVF and had the speed at which it had to happen. It wasn't something I had thought about. And it's just like we had an episode on recently with Heather. We talked about our my egg freezing journey, her IVF journey. And it's just like it's a whole nother thing, an emotional thing that you have to kind of go through on top of what you're already going through. And I think a lot of people don't even realize that that's going to be another factor. So it's good to just, you know, know that that's also something that you definitely kind of have to jump on right away. And I think that was another thing, Brittany. I'm sure you'll you'll agree with me. You really took care of everything quickly. Like you jumped on every getting your treatment and everything set up incredibly quickly. And that just speaks to the fact that like you have to advocate for yourself and try to get that appointment. So maybe you want to get into that a little bit, like, you know, when you first saw that something might be wrong. For sure.
SPEAKER_01:And I'm gonna use humor here because it is kind of a little bit of a funny story. It involves caviar and oysters. So buckle up, okay?
SPEAKER_02:What a what an extravagant.
SPEAKER_01:So we're taking me back to, I'm gonna take you guys back to October of 2023, right? I'm fresh off like a crazy year at DoorDash. I'm traveling nonstop. We're also planning our wedding in Ireland. We've secured a venue. It's really exciting. We're about to go back to Ireland late October for my cousin's wedding, and also just to like do our tasting, meet with vendors, hotels, all that jazz. And a few days before we leave, I'm in Washington, D.C. for a trip with DoorDash with my team. We're kind of planning for the next year. I go out, I have some oysters, and leads to caviar and French fries, few drinks. I've never had caviar before. I'm like, why not? Let's go for it. Tina goes back to the hotel. She's like, I am exhausted. And I go to sleep and I wake up about an hour later and I am ill. I mean, the hangover hits fast, right? Been there. Yep, been there, you know, and we got like whatever sort of drinks happening, food, everything. And I get violently ill. And I say, okay, girl, done with, out of your system, take a shower, freshen up. It's like two o'clock in the morning. And that's when I just feel my chest. And I'm washing myself and I feel a bump right next to my clavicle, underneath my clavicle. Like, that's weird. I've never felt that before. And that night before I got out, I put moisturizer over my body, like big aveno girl. If you don't have the aveno oil or vino deep moisturizer, go get it. It's amazing. So, you know, go to bed next day, wake up. I keep on feeling that bump. I'm like, that's really strange. I go to Ireland and it's still kind of just that bump is still there. Still thinking about it. Still thinking about it. Yeah. But I'm in Ireland. So like I'm here for the next week. We get home, and then there's two days before we leave for Florida for Eric's uh cousin's wedding. And mind you, I am with my husband now. We've closed on a house in October. We've moved out of South Boston. We're moving to Holebrook. My dad's doing over the house here. We're staying, we're moving to Florida while my dad's doing over the house in Holbrook. So much is happening, right? All of the things. So we're getting married that August, right? Getting married the next August. Yeah. Yeah. So, like, where do you find time to go to the doctors? Right. Yeah. And so I'm thinking like this just doesn't seem right. And I ask my best friend, Julianne O'Connor, shout out to Jules, who's a nurse who, you know, has done everything under the sun and currently works, I believe, in pancreatic, uh, which is really tough. So shout out to her. And she's like, look, because it is in your chest area, you know, first port of call should probably be an OBGYN, right? And she's like, just because it's like, you know, chest area above your breast, maybe try there. So I try for the life of me to get an appointment. My OBGYN earlier that year left the practice, and pretty much a bunch of them left the practice, went over to a new one. They're telling me we can't see you until January. Now this is October. Yeah. I reached back out to Tufts, who I had seen in Obi D Win there before too. They say February. So I'm like, this something I did not think anything nefarious, but I thought like something doesn't seem right here. And so I go on ZocDoc.com at like 11 o'clock at night, and I see Dr. Alice Shin in Brookline. I'm like, God help us, Brookline, you know, driving in that far. She has an available appointment in December, early December. So I'm like, I guess that's what I'm taking, right? I'm just gonna take that one and I'm gonna go with that. And so November, like, you know, this is like November time period, and I'm feeling fine. We're in Florida, we're doing stuff, we're like, this is cool. I'm working on stuff back home with dad in Holbrook on designing the house. No symptoms, nothing. I start to notice right before I go into the appointment with Dr. Shin that there's a little bit of swelling in the right breast, and and the bump was above the right breast uh and below the cavicle. I go into her and immediately she looks at it and she's like, She knows. She knows, but she's not saying anything to me, but she knows something wrong. This is a random woman I've never met before. And she told me later on that that night that I took the appointment, she had just released it. It was like a late night, it was 11 o'clock at night. She's sitting at her computer, she's releasing some times that she has, and immediately she saw me take it up. Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_02:Doesn't that stuff get you like goosebumps? You know? Like it's just so crazy.
SPEAKER_01:Just thank God. Thank God. And so she calls over to the folks at Beth Israel at the breast clinic, and they say, Yeah, we can get her in the end of January. And she says, Absolutely not. She needs to be her.
SPEAKER_02:Let's go, Dr. Shin. Let's go.
SPEAKER_01:Let's go, Dr. Alex. Good one. What a legend. This woman I never met before, never seen. She has, you know, I'm I'm a new patient, and this woman just goes to bat for me. So then it's, you know, I let Eric know, now my husband, my fiance, that this is happening. You know, we say, I say, look, I don't want to let anyone else know until we go in there, figure what's going on. And that's kind of what led to the diagnosis and to what led to an ultrasound and a mammogram at 33.
SPEAKER_03:Wow. I mean, good thing you pushed for it. Like, that's crazy. I feel like I I could see myself easily being like, oh, well, they don't have appointments till February. So I just guess I'll just wait it out.
SPEAKER_02:But like I think a lot of people probably do. And I think there's maybe a level two of people, you know, not you don't always want to know. You know, it's a little bit of that too, maybe. But if anything, yeah, like let's take away from that to if you what'd you say, send something, say something, like get in there and yeah, shout out Dr. Shin. She's a legend. I mean, speaking of Eric, you brought him up a couple of times. Eric is so sweet, like literally the nicest dude. But like that's just a lot, right? For any couple going through this newly engaged, buying a home, like you said, just all of the things. How did that affect your relationship? Like, is there anything that you really discovered about each other? Maybe you didn't know before.
SPEAKER_01:Like you said, it was the world was our oyster. We just bought our first house. We were like living temporarily in Florida. So cool, amazing. We were planning our international wedding. We were talking about getting pregnant right after the wedding, and we were doing great in our careers. It just was, I think back to those moments, and you know, wow, we just felt like we were just walking on water and we were untouchable. And life has a way of just smacking you in the face or the tits, either way. It just has a way of doing that. And I will say everything you said about him is absolutely true. And I will say, so many people, including myself, said to him, You didn't sign up for this, and and you don't have to sign up for this. And that infuriated him because he said, I love you so much, I'm going to marry you. This is never even a choice, right? Yeah. Any man who says, I didn't sign up for this, or who thinks it's a choice was never really in love to begin with. And that was his philosophy. And to just to hear that was just was so profound, but just gave me so much peace. And I never in a million years thought he would ever say, like, yeah, I didn't sign up for this bye. But I wanted to give him the opportunity because I knew what I was putting, going to be putting on him and what and what roller coaster I was going to be putting him through. And that's one of the things that we work on as a couple is with my diagnosis, I feel very guilty on the burden that I place on my family, my friends, and now my husband. And, you know, that burden is something that those who love me tell me that it's not a burden. It's just a responsibility of being in your life and and in being and in loving you. And that's hard for me because I feel like as being such an independent woman, yeah, it's been hard to let Eric take care of me and and and you know, do everything above and beyond because he is willing to go to the ends of the earth to do anything for me. And it it's been hard for me to let go of that independence and ask for help and say, like, yes, please help me on this. And so I think I learned from this whole experience is yes, I am so strong. You know, I am a warrior, I've always been independent. But that there's so many people out there in my circle that want to help, including my husband, including his family, my family, my friends, etc., colleagues, friends of friends. And then I also learned is that like, even though things were overwhelming for me and I wanted to isolate and just kind of shut down and just keep my head down, keep focused, do what I needed to do. People needed to see me and needed to hear from me so that they could feel at peace. And so that was one of the big things that I learned from this as well. But in terms of Eric, he's my angel on earth. He did everything, he stabbed me. He stabbed me with IVF injections for 10 days straight. They had a mixing cocktails. He had never done a needle before. He pulled it out horrible the first time. He learned thereafter. He drained my tubes, you know, every time I had surgery, cleaned my bandages, left me in the bathroom for hours. We only have one bathroom in our house. So that man would go to McDonald's to go to the bathroom because I was in the bathroom so long. And then when I would come out crying and my hair was falling out, he would be there with a big hug and those beautiful, beautiful Ryan gospeling eyes, those gorgeous blue eyes, steel blue eyes. And he was just there for the 2 a.m., the 2 p.m. around the clock, everything. And I just I count my blessings every day that I found him.
SPEAKER_02:Well, Tina, I'm so happy for you. He's such an amazing guy. I mean, I feel like the feeling of feeling guilty. I'm sure there's so many other people that feel that I totally get that. It's I would feel like that for sure. But then at the same time, like, of course, you shouldn't feel that way too. It's like one of those things that's like an emotion you almost can't help but feel, but you also the people who love you are like, don't feel like that. Like we Want to help you, but yeah, I think a lot of people will relate to that. What is your favorite thing about him?
SPEAKER_01:I would say his humor. We love that. He uses a lot of dark humor. We used a lot of dark humor. And that's what got us through this. I mean, everyone said, You guys are so strong. People said this will either make you or break you as a couple. And it made us. And we're so proud of that. And but we use so much dark humor. And I mean, the laughter that would come out of me when I'd after be bawling my eyes out and my hair was falling out, or bleeding from the ass from hemorrhoids, you know, from all the constipation from the chemo meds, uh, or my toenails were falling off, or my eyelashes were falling off.
SPEAKER_04:Oh my god.
SPEAKER_01:Um, or my or my chest was full of rashes from all the medicine, or you know, the whatever it was, the bruising, I it's so many things, nausea, whatever it was, whatever it was. And I would walk out and we had this, he had this, we had this pipe dream. He was like, listen, tuna, says what he calls me. Uh tuna melt, tune, uh, tuna. He said, uh the the the prettiest creature of the sea, he calls me. Oh my god, obsessed. Yeah, right. We'll go to Turkey, he said, after all this is done. And he said, I'm gonna get hair plugs and you're gonna get hair plugs. And that's what we're gonna do for our honeymoon. And like that was our dream. We're like, Amazing. We're going to Turkey and we're getting hair plugs. Because if you don't know out there, there's if you look on social media, everyone goes to Turkey to get hair plugs. So we're like, okay, great. Like I gotta tell Chris that. Yeah, yeah. That was like that was reassuring. I mean, and you know, just his pep talks, but his humor, and sometimes he'd be like, Oh, Barbara Bush, you know, depending on what my hairstyle looked like. Gollum, you know, Joe Dirt, whatever it was. Like, we just use laughter to really just get through everything.
SPEAKER_02:The Joe Dirt reference kills me because I have not seen that movie in literally 20 years or whatever.
SPEAKER_01:Do you remember the cover of that DVD though, or that VHS, right? When he has the mop and he has like the mullet. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, I don't think I remember, but oh girl, you gotta Google that. What were you gonna say, Brett? Oh, I was gonna say, like, I uh it resonates with me that you are like I felt like I was such a burden on people because I feel like I would be the exact same way. But like on the flip side, it probably made Eric feel good to be able to like do all of that. You know what I mean? Because it's like the worst feeling when you like, you know, know someone is sick or someone's lost someone close to them or whatever, and you just want to help them so bad, you know. You're like, I would literally walk to California if it would solve your problems, but like there's nothing you can do. So I'm sure though that that it was like, you know, helpful for him too to feel like he was making a difference.
SPEAKER_01:100%. And like not speaking for him, but one of his biggest things that he's mentioned is he's like, I I wish I had the diagnosis. He said that would be easier. He said, for for him, because he's just on the sidelines here. And, you know, he's like, I wish I could just take it from you. And there's my family always said that, like, I wish we could take from you, you know, because like you noted, like being a caregiver it is not for the weak, you know, and and I've done it, you know, with my parents through surgeries and and through diagnoses, and we've all been there in a capacity for people that we love. And it it does not go unnoticed by me how much caregivers, you know, put into this and it and eat live and breathe this because of the love they have for someone. But like you noted, like it just he always said like being on the sidelines is so difficult because he wants to fix the world, but there's only so much control that we have. And so we're lucky and grateful that we're past like a really, really big point. And, you know, leading into some of the other things I think we're gonna talk about is like, you know, this diagnosis, it doesn't end, right? You know, we're in remission, but I go in for another surgery in a few weeks, it's a pretty big one, pretty nasty one, eight hours under anesthesia, and then two to three days in hospital and an eight-week recovery. So, you know, even though I'm in remission and even though chemo's done, the work still continues. And so I think that's kind of what folks think like it's done, it's over with, but it's it's whether it's another surgery or whether it's one pill a day to keep the estrogen low so the cancer doesn't come back and feed on it, or whether it's an injection in my ass every three weeks to keep me in menopause, right? Um, again, because my cancer, which I should have spoken about earlier, is impacted based off hormones. So, you know, having you know, uh functioning ovaries and having a period emits hormones that my cancer feeds off of. So, you know, it I'm in an artificial menopause for the next seven to ten years. Um yeah, so the the work still continues, and I think that's kind of a a notion that folks think just because treatments quote unquote done, the work continues. And so one of the things I wanted to note is like continue to give folks grace because even though the big milestones are done, there's still so many small bits as part of this process. And that's another thing that Eric always says is small bites or else you'll choke. So we've taken, you know, the toxic chemo, the TDM1 chemo. We did that, we did the massectomy, I did the radiation, I did like the year extra of the other chemo, I did the reconstruction, like small bites. And so we've taken all those small bites and we're gonna continue to do that. We're gonna continue to do that with humor and hope that folks continue to give grace.
SPEAKER_02:I would imagine if someone maybe is newly diagnosed and going through this, that'd be a comforting thought. You know, it's hard, I'm sure, to think of. I'm sure when you first, I mean, even still now, right? Like it feels big when you look at a whole, but if the small bites mentality, like it's really helpful to take away. I'm a planner. I'm a planner.
SPEAKER_01:When I got diagnosed, I'm like, okay, wait a second. We need, I need a schedule. What does this look like? What's next? What's next? What's next? And, you know, as as great as a team can be or care team can be, they don't want to overwhelm you, you know. And so I had a fantastic team that at some points I disagreed with, you know, how slow they were feeding me information on next steps. And at some points I did agree, right? Because they've been there before with so many other people, and you know, people will choke. And and as you said too, Coco, like some people don't want to know, you know, they don't want to get the diagnosis or they don't want to know what's coming next. For a planner like me, I'm like, I need a calendar. I need to understand what are my mile marks and how can I achieve these. Where's our challenge? Because I'm gonna be a higher performer here and I'm results driven. So just give me the tasks and and let me go. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:I want to kind of touch back on something like, you know, just what what you're saying, right, about it's ongoing. Give people grace. Obviously, we talked about all the support that you receive from your husband, but also your friends and family. I think one of the things that we as friends, because we have had friends go through a lot of a lot of things and a lot of trauma. And I Bernie already mentioned it, but it's so hard when you want to be supportive and say the right thing and do the right thing. And that's all you really want. And sometimes you just you don't know how to best show up for someone. So maybe if there's someone who's listening who has a friend or family member going through a diagnosis, is there anything that you would recommend that they do to support their loved one or like maybe something that someone did that stuck out to you? I'd just be curious to hear it.
SPEAKER_01:No, absolutely. I think, well, first off, this crew, the Canton crew, did a phenomenal meal train, which we had to kind of say, like slow down a little bit. There's so much food. There was so much food. So, like, never underestimate a phenomenal meal train, right? I think, you know, fresh food, of course, but also stuff that can be frozen. For instance, like my aunt came out from Ireland and she made a bunch of quiches and then cut them up into two slices at a time and then saran wrapped it and put it into a container in the freezer for us. So that like throughout the next few weeks, as I went into my massectomy last year, I could bring out like two slices of quiche for Eric and I, right? She also made Guinness brown bread and sliced it, right? Amazing, amazing recipe. Slice it up so that was like four slices at a time in a container so that we could bring it out. Stews and stuff like that, granola, homemade granola with like nutritious nuts and granola in it, not a lot of artificial artificial stuff, like something that can be frozen to fresh food that's delivered or that people are making is great, but frozen stuff is really helpful. So we're so spoiled in that respect. But one of the things that foot the folks did at DoorDash that I found really helpful was a lift gift card. So a gift card for lift because there are so many appointments that you go to, and there are times in which you're given medicine that you can't drive home from. So for instance, like, did I necessarily need someone at every chemo? I didn't. I did five chemos myself because I was like, I just need a moment, you know, just to like be here rather than like kind of entertaining someone with you at chemo. But I had Ataban in me, so I couldn't drive home from that. But the ability to take a lift, or for instance, getting radiation five days a week for six weeks. So I got that at Social Hospital, which was 13 minutes away from me, getting a lift back and forth from there if I felt too weak to drive, right? And that took a burden off of Eric or my family or his family or my friends. So a ride share gift card, definitely. And then not like I'm promoting my own company, but DoorDash, DoorDash or Instacart or Uber Eats, you cannot expect what you will need at like an ungodly hour, whether it is relaxative, whether it is like antidiarrheal medicine, whether it is bandages for your wounds, whatever it may be, you're going to need that last mile delivery. And your caretaker like leaving you as like you know, I or a thermometer. Like one night we were like the thermometer didn't work, Eric just door-dashed a thermometer. Boom, like I was boiling. It was after chemo, like I didn't look healthy. He's like, he door-dashed it, right? So I would say like gift cards to any of those is always helpful. And then, you know, the outreach in my situation was just so phenomenal. It it became a little overwhelming. It was, you know, calls, voicemails, text messages, emails, Instagram messages, Facebook messages, WhatsApp messages, which was so amazing. And I think one of the best pieces of advice or the best comment that was given to me was by our friend Casey. And she had said, like, there's no need to respond. Stop apologizing for not responding so fast or taking a few weeks to respond. Because, like, little did folks know I was doing chemo and radiation at the same time, right? Or I and I was doing chemo radiation and recovering from a massectomy at the same time. And seeing all those were so great. But every time I responded, I felt the need to update everyone on what was happening. Yeah. And then I was reliving everything over and over and over and over again. And I think that was a great piece of advice. So, in terms of, you know, what can folks do? Folks can, you know, promote that kind of notion that like it's okay to not respond to me right away. And and Heather had mentioned the same thing too. And like you mentioned, like our whole friend group has been through some unfortunately wicked things in our lives. And I think we all come from a place where we do give each other grace from those experiences, but just because naturally we're all very empathetic people.
SPEAKER_02:That's great though. I mean, it's like good, and that that's so true. Like, obviously, you're going through so much. Definitely give that grace and let people respond or not respond at their own time.
SPEAKER_03:But I don't even like like my birthday when I have 10 million people accessing me. So when you see the medicine if I was like, okay, I gotta like those all immediately. Yeah. Like, don't respond to us.
SPEAKER_02:Anything like just anything else that we that you would want to share in terms of prevention, detection. I thought what you mentioned in the beginning about making sure, like, if you have a family member history, that's not something I ever thought of. But anything that you want to share for that so that people can get checked out.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, definitely. I would like to say that my cancer was not genetic, so I did not have the BRCAGene, which growing up, I feel like we all heard that, oh, you know, in order to have breast cancer, you have to have the BRCA gene. No one in my family ever had breast cancer, so I was like, great, I don't have to worry about that. That's not true. And it's not to be a fear tactic, but it's to be a cautionary tale in which I share this, is that, you know, whether it's 23ME and you want to make you want to do some genetic testing there for the bracket gene, that's something that you can control. Whether it's like sitting down and having that conversation with your parents of like, are we sure that no one has had breast cancer, right? Or whether it's, you know, talking to your OBGON and saying, like, I would like an ultrasound, right? And and requ and requesting that and seeing kind of where you get. I think one of the things that my mother-in-law pointed out to me is that she had seen a van, like a satellite medical van, and I believe it's called like the her campaign. And essentially they give ultrasounds to really anyone who wants them, any female who wants some breast ultrasounds. Um it's out of pocket, so it's$200. So you can actually get a breast ultrasound at 35, you know, at 36 if your insurance company through your OBJ WN or your primary care is not going to cover it. And it's definitely something that I will find the link to so that you guys can um kind of include in a post about the podcast for further information. But that's a traveling van that goes around because there is such like a gap in access, you know, for this. And with women being like increasingly diagnosed with breast cancer at a younger age or actually colorectal cancer, colon cancer as well, uh, it's hitting young people at an alarming rate, you know, within our age bracket. It's just so important to try to find these preventative measures. And I tested negative for 70 cancer genes. So I may never know how this cancer started. I may never know what came about, how it came about. I donated all my tissue, my breast tissue and the tumor tissue, everything, my lymph nodes to research to hope to that someday, somehow, we will find out how this started and it can help the girls before me so that they don't have to do six weeks of radiation. They don't have to do the mastectomy, they don't have to do a year of TDM1, six months of TCHP. You know, at some point, hopefully it will help others. But that's kind of my thought process on, you know, if you want to kind of get ahead of things, definitely some genetic testing 23andM. Make sure you don't have the brackaging. Talk to your family, uh, learn a little bit more about your family history, and then also like advocate for with your PCP, Obi-Juanne, and I'll send around some information on that her satellite mobile.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, we can put it in the description. That's awesome, though. And I feel like go to your go to the doctor, like get a physical.
SPEAKER_01:Go to the doctor. Go to the doctor. Go to the doctor. Bloods, blood work too. Your blood work is important, right? And also be mindful of your hormones too. You know, that you see all these things about women having PCOS, endometriosis, right? Be mindful of your hormones, you know, how how are your periods looking, you know, and how are you feeling? What are you eating? How are you exercising? All those play into account how are you dealing with stress, cortisol, right? How are you dealing with anxiety? All that plays into how your body functions. So self-care girls, self-care.
SPEAKER_02:I just have to say, like, literally, Tina, you people are gonna walk away from this episode being like, that girl is a fucking boss. Like, you are just a bitch. Yeah, so impression, impressive, like everything. Well versed. So well versed. You've already you've taught me a lot on this call. Like, honestly, you're this, you're the shit.
SPEAKER_01:Thank you guys for having this. I'm so excited that this podcast is happening and I have so much to catch up on. I really do. So I can't wait to hear the last few episodes. We just got a dream squad of friends. Let's just be honest about that, too. Um, but I was saying I I feel like I'm on the toast, the skin. So our absolutely I'm so excited to continue to support this. And thank you guys for having me on. This is this is awesome. And also let's recognize that we've known each other for like a minute. We've we've known each other for like I don't even know how long decades, like like decades, right? Yeah, at least, right? Yeah, middle school. You were handsome people, right? We were handsome, yeah. Yes, yeah. You guys were at the cool school.
SPEAKER_02:I was JFK.
SPEAKER_01:We were the cool school. Bernie and I were in the same school, so it's fine.
SPEAKER_02:But so if you have to catch up on the pod, just so you know, the last couple of episodes have been TS12 heavy. I know Brittany wants is itching to hear your take.
SPEAKER_03:I really want to hear your thoughts. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:So real quick. We need to we need to finish with some Taylor talk. What do we think of the new album? What are some of our favorite songs? Okay.
SPEAKER_01:First off, whenever a Taylor album comes out, I have to listen. I listen first, right? I don't try not to form an opinion. I will say, and this is gonna be pretty divisive. Um the last few albums I've I've had a hard time connecting. What I do find is that I tend to connect like years later with an album that I might have not liked originally. Like Lover, right? Like I, when that first came out, I was like, I don't know about this. I was not in the headspace to be open to lover, right? Where I was in my own personal life. And now I'm like, oh, like some great bops. Like, I love this. Like, how come I didn't listen to this? So, first go around, I listened to it yesterday on the plane back from Florida, and I was like, okay, okay, okay. I also like looked at all the criticism that people have been saying about, like, you know, lyrics, sound, you know, quality of storytelling, etc. I've since listened to it like five times on repeat. I was just walking around Seaport last night, just bopping around. Can't not dance. Can't not dance, can't not dance. Now I am a red reputation fearless 1989 girl, right? So that's that's my vibe. Do I get those songs from this album? Not yet. I'm definitely open to continuing to listen and like see if I get that vibe, but like I I yearn, I long for like the memory of those songs, right? And I'm not sure if I'm there just yet. You know, I think there's some interesting, like the girls like quoting Shakespeare with Ophelia. Love it, right? Yeah. Elizabeth Taylor, an icon, a moment, a legend. She's like look literally speaking to the spirit, saying, like, Lizzie, is this real? Is this gonna work out? Like, is this the right choice? You know? Right. The father figure. I love that because like I had heard that she always kind of wanted to be that person, like a mentor, be a mentor, right? And I think she has been, you know, to Sabrina and to a bunch of other folks as well.
SPEAKER_04:Totally.
SPEAKER_01:Um, but also she's had, you know, she's been on the receiving side of someone who's been a father figure and kind of seen how the music industry, how that all plays out. But I think it's an interesting perspective. Eldest daughter, clearly, I'm the eldest daughter.
SPEAKER_02:So I find that and I just say that's also a very strange little like tidbit about our group of friends. I'm pretty sure, and I'm sorry to whoever I'm gonna get wrong on this. I think I am the like only youngest daughter in this whole school.
SPEAKER_01:Wait a second.
SPEAKER_02:Wait, does Mish have Mish has the okay, all right, yeah. But I think everyone else is the eldest daughter, yeah. I'm pretty sure it's crazy. You guys are just out here, you know, yeah, hold like literally holding it down for us younger siblings.
SPEAKER_01:Fucking sucks. I'm telling you, it's the weight on your of the world on your shoulders, and that'll do it. That goes back to like also dealing with this diagnosis of like you're the eldest daughter, so you're so used to just like yeah, taking stuff on. And then I'm like, oh, what? I'm like, I'm the weakest link here. What is this? You know, I'm I'm down for the count. And that's when you have other people step up, you know, and lean in and step up for you because you can't be you can't be carrying the team. But yeah, I love that. I mean, I gotta dig a little bit deeper into like the actually romantic. Like what?
SPEAKER_03:That was like Charlie X, Charlie XCX, stand down, yeah, Taylor.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I was like, I oh gives me a little reputation vibe. So like that. I who who's calling Wood like scandalous? I'm sorry. The girl is talking about her man and she's flawing it. So like go for it. Like, let's just say when you look at him, you know that he looks like a Greek god. So I think we all knew that he's an amazing partner.
SPEAKER_02:He's a lover, lover. I would say partner, yes. I do think that Sabrina had inspired her because Sabrina's latest albums were so sexual. I think it might have given Taylor a little bit of that push to be like, you can do it too.
SPEAKER_01:Very much so. And also the graphics, I'm sorry, like are gorgeous. Thank you.
SPEAKER_03:I agree.
SPEAKER_01:Gorgeous.
SPEAKER_03:Well, it was the re the guy who did the reputation shoot.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, okay, because I knew it was the producers that did 1989, which I love that sound. So, but yeah, like word is still out on like how I feel about the overall album, like one of my favorite favorites. I'm still digging in. Too soon. But I I I love I saw this thing on Instagram, and it's this guy. I'm gonna send it to you guys, but uh, this comedian, and he pretends to be each Taylor album. And they're essentially like, they're like, Look, like take it, take it slow. There's a lot of inbound criticism. Three years from now, you're gonna be the favorite thing, you know? And then you have like tortured poets department being like, or maybe not, maybe you won't be the favorite, you know? Maybe it'll be like me. And then you have, you know, reputation being all like moody and being like, well, you you can't be like me because I'm the favorite always, you know. Or so I think it's an interesting, it's an interesting story and journey that Swifties go on. And I'm I'm I'm on that journey right now.
SPEAKER_03:Buckle up. Yeah, buckle up. I love it. What about you guys? Spoken like a true Swifty.
SPEAKER_02:I have two very clear favorites, and I really think that they're like a much above the rest of the album for me. I love Opalite. I love Fate of Ophelia.
SPEAKER_01:Great calls, yep.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, my my favorites are Wishlist, Honey, and Cancelled, and probably Opalite. Opalite and Canceled are kind of side right now. But yeah, I feel like I mean, my hot take is she might have overhyped it a little bit, yeah, but like maybe she was just saying, like, this is my favorite album, and I was taking that as, oh, it will be my favorite album too. But I can see why it's her favorite album. Yeah, I don't know if it will be my favorite album, time will tell.
SPEAKER_01:And and she's in this point of her life where she is like on a high. And you can you can definitely like hear that in, you know, a lot of the songs too. But when I'm looking back, I feel like Reputation and Adele 25, those two albums, like I yearn for the feelings of those two albums whenever I listen to an album, you know, whoever it may be. And I just like lyrically, and then also just the sound of those two, I just really loved. And I'm I'm always searching for that. So I'm not sure I give everyone a fair shake. But it's hard to judge. It's it's hard to judge, but I'm I'm excited to uh to listen more.
SPEAKER_02:At least there's vault tracks, Taylor. Seriously, maybe that wrap vault out.
SPEAKER_01:I bet they're gold. Oh, a hundred. Because a lot of them before have been like message in a bottle. I'm like, okay, let's listen to it. It's a bottle, yeah.
SPEAKER_03:It's a little bit better.
SPEAKER_02:But 1989 ones are Is It Over Now is like one of my top five Taylor songs all time. So if we could get even one of those gems, I'd be thrilled.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. And at this point in my life, too. I said the other day because people were talking about I'm like, I have not had a chance to listen. I was like, I need this, I need this right now. So, like, do not fail me, Tay. So yeah, she won't. Thank you guys for the chit chat. This was so great.
SPEAKER_02:Thank you so much for coming on, Tina. You dropped some knowledge. I'm sure everyone loved this episode. We really appreciate you taking some time out and chatting with us. We are going to be back on Friday with a regularly scheduled programming. Just Britt and I we're gonna talk uh dancing with the stars, per ush. And that's our new show we're watching. Although I am recently starting Love is Blind season nine. And I'm not watching Love is Blind. Sorry. Um don't you worry, I will tell you that right now.
unknown:I will give my thoughts.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, also submit on our website if you have any problems that you have. Yeah, snitch sessions. We can talk about some of those on Friday.
SPEAKER_03:And make sure to like us, follow us, comment at us at Snitch and Pod on TikTok and Instagram. Tell everyone you know about us. And yeah, thanks, Tina. You are awesome and just such an inspiration to all of us. So I hope everyone listens to this episode. Everyone in the world.
SPEAKER_02:Everyone in the world. That's what we're shooting for.
SPEAKER_01:Love you guys. Thank you so much. And I'm excited to see this podcast grow. And thanks for being just phenomenal friends. Love you.
SPEAKER_02:I know you guys, we're so great.
SPEAKER_01:Bye, everybody. Bye. Bye. Bye.