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Snitchin
Episode 74: The One with The Top 10 Happiness Project Tips
In this episode we're ringing in December by discussing the lessons from our latest book club pick, The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin.
We're covering our top ten takeaways, including:
- Why creating family traditions is easier than you think.
- The power of visibility in achieving your goals.
- How to harness the "fake it 'til you make it" principle for a better attitude.
- The life-changing magic of the "under 60-second rule."
Plus, we break down the Dancing with the Stars finale. Get ready for an episode that will have you plotting your own path to a happier 2026!
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Ready? Ready. Hey everyone. Welcome back to the latest episode of Snitchin. It's your host, Kristen.
SPEAKER_00:And Brittany, get ready for the best part of your day.
SPEAKER_01:Happy December. We're back. We're so sorry to all of our listeners because we did not have an episode on Friday and we didn't let you guys know. But we are back with a brand new set of episodes for the month of December to close out 2025 on the right foot. And we're excited for this one because we are going to be having our book club episode that we were going to host on Friday. We're going to host it today. And this book was great. We're super excited about it. It was the happiness project by Gretchen Rubin. So, really, the focus for this episode is going to be talking about that book and everything that we learned. At the end, we are going to do a Dancing with the Stars finale recap because obviously we can't not talk about that after our season of being avid watchers.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. I will say, I'm just thinking of this now as we're talking about it, but this was kind of perfect timing to read The Happiness Project. I felt like it was a great Thanksgiving dinner conversation.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, I love that. Yeah. I thought the same. I was thinking in terms of resolutions because it's very resolution heavy. So I was like, oh, this is perfect timing to think about for 2026.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, it was it was good. And it will be applicable. Even if you didn't read it, you will still find this interesting. We did the hard work.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, we'll start with just like a little overview of what the book's about. And then Brunier and I are gonna go into, we each picked top our top five things that we took away from the book. So we're gonna kind of go through that one by one and then we'll recap with Dancing with the Stars. But should we give a little? I feel like we should just jump right into it, honestly. All right, so let's get into it. So, what is the Happiness Project about? I actually heard about this book when it came out. It came out 10 years ago, and or roughly around that. The author, Gretchen Rubin, was a lawyer-turned novelist. And she one day was just riding, I think it was the bus or something. And she had the thought that so many of us have, just feeling a little bit like, is life just kind of passing me by? Are we going through the movement? Is this it type of thing? She decided to try to figure out what makes someone happy. How can you be happy just in your day-to-day life? And what I really appreciated about the way she set it up is that she was like, I don't want to go to Africa. I don't want to have this massive upheaval.
SPEAKER_00:She says, like making changes in your life without changing your life. You know, like changing your life without changing it.
SPEAKER_01:And I love that. I feel like that's so relatable.
SPEAKER_00:Same. Feels very much more attainable.
SPEAKER_01:So, so yes. So she goes about doing this in a very systemic, kind of lawyery structured way. Every month she starts in January. She has a different focus area. January was energy. So that's her focus for the month. And within that focus, she has like four goals or resolutions that she aims to achieve. So throughout the book, she basically each chapter is highlighting each month. She kind of goes through what she did, what she learned. And then at the end of it, she comes out with four like secrets of happiness. The four secrets that she came out with, secret number one, to be happy, you need to consider feeling good, feeling bad, and feeling right in an atmosphere of growth. We'll talk about that. Number two, one of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy. And one of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself. Number three, the days are long, but the years are short. And number four, you're not happy unless you think you're happy. We'll get into some more of those. But what were the 12 focus areas?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Gretchen, I will say is very type A, very structured, which I can for sure appreciate. Um, so in January, she was all about boosting energy. So, like going to sleep earlier, tidying up, tackling a nagging task, like decluttering your life, kinda. February was all about marriage. Some of her resolutions were quit nagging, be more affectionate, say I love you more often. Chapter three was March, and it was about work and aiming higher. Some of her resolutions are, oh, she had launched a blog, which I thought was interesting and very telling of the time, 2009. April was about lightening up and attitude and emotional regulations. So this is one when she's like promises to sing in the morning, admit what she enjoys, don't use her computer for two hours after waking up, and taking care of her possessions. May is be serious about play. So I love this one. This one's all about fun, finding fun projects, collecting funny quotations, things like that. And then June, make time for friends. So remembering birthdays, showing up, being generous with your time. July was about money. So that's an interesting one. She talks about spending money on things that are worthwhile, buying essentials that are good quality. Eight is contemplate the heavens. I think this was she called it like eternity. But yeah, this one's a little bit more about like having a gratitude journal, finding time for meditation. And then September, pursue a passion. So for her, this was about books, but you know, this could be obviously anything for anyone. It's a lot about finding what is what you yourself are passionate about. October is about focus, so making sure she's paying more attention and letting go of outcomes is a big one. November, use your imagination. She says, imagine yourself as a role model, think about what you want, stop complaining, and give positive reviews, which I think is a great one. And then December was just kind of a recap where she talked about, like it was she called it her boot camp, in which she was trying to kind of do all of the resolutions. So, like the idea was in January she'd focus on her energy revolution resolutions, and then February she would still focus on January's and then introduce new ones, March. So it's like kind of cumulative. So by December, she was just talking kind of about like maintaining them all and like what's realistic. But yeah, should we get into it?
SPEAKER_01:Let's do it. What's your first takeaway from the book?
SPEAKER_00:I really liked how she said, oh, the thing about family traditions that is like by definitely number one. I think it was the parenting chapter, but she was saying like anything can be made into a tradition, right? You know, it doesn't have to cost money, it doesn't have to be on a holiday. But if you think back like in your life, your memories, like the things that are repetitive, like those are a lot of the things that stand out. And so like I I think of my, I feel like my family had a ton of like traditions. Even if it was like we when we'd go apple picking, like we would always make like apple crisp or apple pie or something after. Like someone that wrote into her blog or her brother or something, I don't know. They do like once a month, they do eat like a pirate meal with their kids. So like they would like put newspapers all over the dining the table and like only eat with hands and not use any silverware. Kids love that. That was one of my biggest ones, I think. That was like a very easy way to, you know, just kind of boost your happiness, make happy memories.
SPEAKER_01:The traditions go such a long way. You definitely remember, like, I definitely have very fond memories of even just like playing the same card games down. Yeah, I was in Cape Cod with my family, or like if you do sleepovers or something with cousins, like having the same dessert every time, like certain things that they're gonna grasp onto that they'll remember. I totally agree with that. And I love that one as well. She said that like the big thing about doing these resolutions, like above any specific focus area that she had was more of like the idea of accessibility. So she what she did is she made this resolutions chart that seemed very convoluted. Like, I will say when I was reading it, she had four tasks within each, within every focus area. So by the end of the year, she has like 50 tasks that she's trying to keep up with. Yeah. It felt very overwhelming to me. But she said that the biggest thing, which I do agree with, is that she put them on this chart so that every single day at the end of the day, she would go back and look and see what she accomplished. And just the the idea of accessibility is that the more often that you revisit something or like that it's visible in front of you, the more often you're just gonna recall that to the top of your mind. So if you're looking at your resolutions every single day and you're thinking about them every single day, then just naturally when you're going to do something, you're gonna think like about your resolution and act in that way first. And I really like that. Just like, yeah, and I think people do that all the time. They'll put sticky notes, or, you know, like if they are say on a weight loss journey, you know, people you hear of people putting like before and after photos like on fridges and stuff just to keep it visible. And I think that was a good reminder to do that.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I like that too. Yeah, I will say, like, just to have one like kind of gripe about the book, is it was a little overwhelming. The way I read it was like, do this, do this, do this, you have to do this, you have to do this, you have to do this, which is like motivating to me because I like to have like the tangible stuff that I feel like it's easy to do, like writing things out and putting it in front of you. But it definitely there was times when I was like, Whoa, like she's like plan my mother-in-law's birthday party and do all the work and no one else is responsible. I was like, Okay, that's a lot. So it was like I feel like it was different than untamed because it was a little bit more like actionable, but a little bit more like do this, do that.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I don't know how you can read it and like not feel like it's overwhelming because she's just doing so much. But I think you made a good point. We talked about this a little bit last week. We saw each other, and I think you said Brett, like this was her whole reason, this is her whole job. Right. So of course she's going all in. Like, I think the thing I took away from this was just little takeaways, even that accessibility thing. She said that one of the things she did was she changed her password to be like whatever it is that she's focusing on. So that again, that was a great one. Yeah, it's just top of mind. It's coming up, it's coming up. And I was like, those little things that I kind of wrote down that was like, oh, that's really that's a good idea. So for instance, we're obviously it made us think about our own resolutions. So I am starting one for December, really like around sleep, because that continues to be an area of opportunity for me. And I wrote it on my, I have a chalkboard like wall in my place, and I put on the chalkboard wall yesterday, like all the things that I'm gonna try to do to get some good sleep. And I'm hopeful that that will help keep me accountable by seeing it every day. But I loved what she said about that.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I love that. What were some other ones? Oh, if it takes under 60 seconds, this was like from January when she was all about like energy and decluttering. If it takes under 60 seconds, just do it. So, like I love that. Yeah, like rather than just throwing your coat on the table, like it takes less than 60 seconds to hang it up, and then you'll be so glad later, like you're not going around and picking everything up and like wasting time putting it away. Yeah. And then the other one I liked from that, like kind of in the same vein, was it was like tackle a nagging task. It makes me feel better that everyone has these, but like, I mean, you definitely have them when it's like making a doctor's appointment. You know, it was like just like a fucking, it's like climbing Mount Everest. It sits on your to-do list and it sits there and sits there, and you're like, oh, but then you do it and you're like, wow, that took one minute. Like, just do it.
SPEAKER_01:No, I feel like I've had that thought so many times, like, particularly with my car. I, if there's anything that I have to do for my car, oil change, going to get a sticker doesn't matter. It is the for some reason, it's harder for me to do that than like any other task. And every time I put it off and then I go and take care of it, I always have the same thought of that was so easy.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:It was so easy. Like, why couldn't you just done this before? But I just like can't get myself to do it. So I love what she said about the under a minute, 1000%. I feel like one thing we've also kind of said is that a lot of these self-help books are all like a lot of the people who are big in this space, they all kind of say a lot of the same stuff. Like they really do. They just package it differently. But I was just listening to a podcast with Mel Robbins, and she's, you know, like really big in the kind of area. And she has a similar thing where her whole like the whole way she started was she has this five-second rule where like it's she talks about it with getting out of bed. So she like was an alcoholic and was having all this trouble with money and like her family and blah, blah, blah. And her biggest thing was like she was depressed, she couldn't get out of bed. So the minute that she thought about getting out of bed, she said there's like a five-second window where you can get to me, you can convince yourself to go back to sleep. And she was like, I just count down from five, and the minute I hit one, I have to get up. And she does that for anything that's like a task that she's na that's nagging her and she doesn't want to do it, instead of like even letting herself ruminate on it. She just says five, four, three, two, one and does it. But it's very much in the same vein of like just do it. And I totally agree with that.
SPEAKER_00:It makes a difference. Yeah, like she definitely, I feel like was a lot about prioritizing your future self.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. My second tip, but fourth tip overall, this one I felt like she, so she kind of says she has 12 commandments. We're not gonna read them all, but they're just like basically things that help her stay accountable. So the two that stuck out to me that I felt like she referenced the most, well, I'll just focus on the first one. So the first one is just be Gretchen. Basically, she says how it's not gonna work if it's not in line with who you are. So you got to find out what works for you. And like, I feel like we, when we've talked about things in the past, like hobbies or exercise, like we've definitely agreed with this. Someone can tell you that running a marathon or running is like the most therapeutic thing that you could do, or that cooking is the most therapeutic thing that you can do. But like, if it doesn't work for you, it's not gonna work for you.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:So I really like how she talked about that. But I will say one other kind of gripe I have with her on this is like I do feel like sometimes she was a little contradictory in her recommendations. Did you ever feel that?
SPEAKER_00:Oh, yeah. The marriage one was, I feel like the worst chapter contradictions, but yes.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, I'm curious to hear what you have to say about that. Because so, like, for instance, in this, what I what I thought of when it like talked about this about things that are specific to you. Like, so she says that in one breath and she kept bringing it up, bring it up. But then, like, she talked about, I think in the the energy chapter in January, she was trying to find a way to like do other exercise. And she asked her friend if her friend was happy with her workout routine. The friend said yes. So Gretchen signs up. Sure enough, it's like the strength training thing, she loves it, whatever. And she said, I wrote it down. She said, There's a theory on this. If you ask someone if they are happy with something and you start doing it, then you're gonna assume that you'll be happy too. But like, isn't that almost like a yeah, directly in contradiction with what you're talking about, about having it be unique to you?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah, that's true. Cause then I feel like I feel like it, I think it was like the fun or leisure chapter where it was a lot of people were writing in for her blog. She includes like a lot of blog posts from people, which was like so very interesting. Oh, that's when she talks a lot about like how for one person, like gardening might be like something that someone loves and like they they enjoy gardening. It doesn't, it's not work for them. But like for me, like I would never want to garden. Right. That's not fun for me. So yeah, but I feel like that chapter especially, she was going on and on and on about like, don't do things that like you know, just because like everyone else is going to the club and like staying out late, like doesn't mean that it's fun for everyone. So yeah, it was definitely contradictory a little bit.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. I but I I so I definitely felt like that, and I definitely agree with you in the marriage part. There was things that she said that I was kind of like, huh, I feel like you're literally telling us to do two opposite things. But I will say, on the like be Gretchen commandment or do what works for you. I liked what she said about think about your 10-year-old self, you know, what did you like as a child? I think that advice is like fairly sound.
SPEAKER_00:No, honestly, it's so true. Like, I mean, it's hard to think about, but it is so true. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I will say my favorite things to do are to dance and play tennis, which is what I did when I was younger. So I just thought that was pretty interesting. I also liked though, I so felt this. She said that when you do, like we're saying, figure out what works for you, you also kind of have a realization of what you'll never be. Like I think for us, we've definitely, I mean, I would come to accept that on the cooking front. Yeah. You know, but like part of me wishes I could run a marathon. And I'm sure I could, but I really would hate it, you know.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:But the idea of being a marathon runner, like just giving that up, or we'll get to this. One of her other things is called is about decluttering. So I started to do that a little bit around my house and I found knitting stuff that I bought like three years ago. I was convinced I was gonna knit. And I I threw it out. But there's a part of me that was like, oh, I'm sad. I'm just not, I'm not gonna knit.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I feel like that doesn't. I under I understand that, but I don't feel like I feel like that really. Like if it's something I want to, don't want to do, I am like fine. I'm like, yeah, I'm not that person. I'm not a marathon runner and I'm fine with it.
SPEAKER_01:I'm envious of that because I feel I think it maybe it just comes down to like a FOMO thing. I just feel like I want to do it all. I don't know.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I don't want to do it all. I said it's lazy too.
SPEAKER_01:No, I love that. I think that's knowing yourself.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, true. Glenn would be proud. But yeah, the 10, the 10-year-old self one, that actually leads to my next one too, which was so for her, she talked about when she was younger, she had these like blank books, she called them. And she they were basically like scrapbooks, and she would just like you know, find things throughout her life and her day, like whether it's pictures or like a fortune cookie or something, like a quote, and just kind of like put it in these books. And it was like fun for her, and then it's also like a really nice memento to like to look back on that will make you feel happy in the future. So, yeah, so that's one I want to do is start a scrapbook because I want to make memories. And I'm like, I've always like I know you do this the shutterfly ones. The shutterfly ones really overwhelm me. I don't know why. I think I just prefer doing it like with my hands, and like I guess this makes me sound old, but like a physical thing rather than like a shutterfly book. So I think I'm gonna just try to make a scrapbook for 2026. That's my resolution. I love that. Yeah, not really sure how it's gonna go, but I think I'm gonna buy, I think I'm gonna ask for Christmas for some scrapbook stuff. I want to get a photo printer. There's like, you know, so you can just print it right from your phone because that will be that will really slow me down if I have to go to CVS. Yeah, and we'll see how it turns out. It might be polished for something, you know, that like anyone could look at, or I might just like write random shit in it and we'll see where it goes.
SPEAKER_01:Now, I feel like you have been talking about documenting and saving for a while now. I think this is like a perfect one for you.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, but I need to do it like in micro doses, which is kind of like her thing. It's like, you know, maybe sit down every once in a while. I like if I the thought of like, like I was like, oh, I could try to do one for 2025, but like the thought of like creating one now, going through all my photos is like no way.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, no, I hear that. I feel like though, maybe you should put it somewhere like even in your Google Calendar or something as a reminder to do it so that it's like that accessibility thing, like the visibility. True.
SPEAKER_00:But I'm hopeful that I will enjoy it enough that I'll want to do it. Yes, I love you know, I have like my stickers on my phone. I have I love putting my stickers on my Kindle. Yes, that's so true. Wait, no, that's so true. Yeah, my water bottle has stickers all over it. And I love doing that stuff. I don't have to make time. It's like kitties. I have infinite love and time for cats.
SPEAKER_01:Oh my god, girl. No, Ebony, this is per I love this. I'm like very excited about this.
SPEAKER_00:Me too. Me too.
SPEAKER_01:Oh my god, yay. I love that. So, okay, so next one then. My so this is number, this is my third. This is my third. So she says this other one, another commandment that she speaks to that helps her stay accountable for her 12 focus areas. She says, act the way you want to feel. This is another thing. I feel like, again, broken record, but all of these self-help people are saying the same stuff. I've heard this so many times, but I do think it's true. I'm trying to give an example on this one. She says, like, I think she said she was just, you know, tired one day. And then she told herself, like, you're not tired. You have energy, you're getting ready for the day. And she just got up and started like doing as what what would an energetic person do, right? They would get up and go for a walk. Fake it till you make it. Fake it till you make it. And I definitely think that that's true. I think sometimes you have to trick your mind because it's like no one, everyone resists change. If you're kind of in one state of being and you're doing the same things like every single day, there's gonna be resistance to any change that you make. So just kind of like forcing yourself to do it and telling yourself that you're like happy about it can kind of trick your mind.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I feel like that was like she talked a lot about like the attitude adjustment and just like I feel like there was like a story with like her father-in-law where she was just like in a bad mood and it was about her, so her husband has like hepatitis C and like there's not really any cure. So they're always like researching like what's the latest in hepatitis C, whatever. And her father-in-law was like, you know, trying to be positive about it and was like, you know, at least they're making steps while she just kept shooting him down, you know, because her like she wanted to protect herself from like feeling let down. And then she would like to take a step back and was like, that wasn't very nice. Like, no one likes someone like that. Like, no one likes someone that is just like complaining and like, you know, just saying the opposite of everything you are, and like never. So it's not like that.
SPEAKER_01:She talked about that in the chapter that she was also talking about. She took some personality tests. I actually went and took it, and there's like five characteristics, and one of them is agreeableness, and that was like one that she ranked low on. And so that's like the reason why is because she just has a natural inclination to want to debate or, you know, like yeah, have the devil's advocate. So she's just if someone says something, she automatically wants to find a way to like rebuff it just to have that like argument. But that actually kind of leads to something. It wasn't like one of my takeaways, but she did say that there was when you she was talking about that, kind of like the attitude adjustment adjustment. She said something about just having good manners and just the way that you speak in your everyday conversations has such a big impact on how you make people feel and also just like how, and and in response, that's one of her truths, right? Like how you make other people feel is how is it's a key to happiness. And I've seen research on that too that I thought was interesting. Like you can tell people who are just more agreeable or like just baseline kind by the language that they use. If they just say, like, if they just reaffirm someone and say, Oh, that's a great idea, or like I like love that you said that, or just small things like that.
SPEAKER_00:Smiling more, I think was one. Yes, definitely. Yeah. So that was that was interesting. Oh, another one. So yeah, moving on from that, another one, actually, this is reminding me, another one I really liked was it was like giving positive feedback and like telling someone, you know, when you're appreciative of them or when they've like done a good job. I think it came up a lot in like the marriage chapter. I think she said for every one criticism, like it takes five compliments to like negate that criticism.
SPEAKER_01:I'm so happy you brought that up. I wanted to ask you about that. Do you agree with that? So it sounds like you do. Yeah, I I agree with that.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I agree with that. Yeah, I I can see that. People think about like negativity bias. People remember what you like, you could have five compliments, and then that one negative one, that's what you're gonna remember.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, yeah, totally. 100%. And like it's just so nice to like if someone, you know, plans a party, like you know that's like a lot of work, a lot of time, a lot of effort, just to say, like, oh, you did such a great job. Like, you know, give them kind of like their flowers, and then that that will mean so much more to them than like if you know you just left. Or like that will just make their day, you know. Affirmation, baby. Yeah, showing your appreciate appreciation.
SPEAKER_01:Well, okay, can we get into the marriage chapter? Because that's I have I have thoughts.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I thought her the marriage chapter was a little outdated. Like the part when she was like, men are just this way and women are just this way. And once I realized that men were like that way, like then I just had to realize like it was just me who needed to let it go and let my husband like do. And I was like, no, I don't know about that.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, like okay, so like the marriage section. A lot of what she talks about in this is in one sense, reframing your own thoughts. Like, what can you control? And it's your reaction, your responses, like, which I understand and I do think there's merit to that. But one of the things that she talks about underneath her marriage chapter is expectations, basically. She says, don't do anything expecting anything in return. So don't make dinner and then expect your husband to be grateful for it or whatever. Like, just do it because you want to do it. And then you won't be resentful if no one notices or gives you praise because you weren't looking for that in the beginning. So that was like the first thing. And I kind of was like, okay, I can understand that. Like I've definitely fallen into that with work before where I've done maybe like gone above and beyond, and I'm expecting all this praise for it and like you don't get it.
SPEAKER_00:But yeah, her example. So I remember her example from this one. It was she was doing like, so I guess instead of doing Christmas cards, she does like Valentine's Day cards, sends them out to people, and she like did all the work. She got the photos, she printed them out, she got them all. She was like sitting down with her husband at night to watch TV and she was like, Do you want to like stuff or like seal? And he was like, I don't want to do this. Like, why do I have to do this? And then like her takeaway was like, Oh, well, this was my idea to do the cards. Like, I'm the one that wanted to do this. So, like, it's fair that he doesn't want to. Maybe I should just let him off the hook because I'm the one that wanted to do this, which like I feel like that is a very trivial example. So I can kind of see where she's coming from with that. I thought that example was not the best.
SPEAKER_01:Well, I like I agree with you. I think the example makes sense for what she's saying. But that is something that, yeah, is trivial totally. And like, I do I do think there's merit to the idea. Like, I think it's not all or nothing. There are probably are situations where you can let that roll off your back like that one. But as it as a fundamental principle, like I don't think that's necessarily sustainable. I don't know.
SPEAKER_00:Like, if if you're like, oh, I put my kids to bed every single night, like, can you just do it once? Like, that's more like, no, like the other person has a responsibility to put their kids to bed too. Exactly.
SPEAKER_01:And like it was, and the thing is too, it wasn't just that that was like the only thing that kind of bugged me about that chapter. It was that, plus, it was the fact that like her other resolutions were like quit nagging, which okay, sure. But like, no dumping. So, like, if you're it was basically to me, it felt like everything that no dumping, I think she was just basically like, if you're having a bad day, don't dump it on your partner or something like that. I can't remember exactly. Quit nagging is pretty self-explanatory, but it kind of felt like every single resolution she had was like, silence yourself. Like, don't speak, don't say how you feel. And I just was like, how is that ever how I don't think that's right? Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:No, I totally it felt like the onus was like all on her.
SPEAKER_01:Yes, that's and like it shouldn't be. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Sometimes like there is a time to speak up, or like, yeah, I think she says she was like planning her mother-in-law's birthday party and like no one else was helping her. And she was like, Well, I guess I'm the one that wanted to have this party, and now I'm the one that gets the satisfaction of making my mother-in-law so happy, and I'm the one that gets so much satisfaction out of this party. So, like, just deal with it. And I like I was like, I don't think that's that's right. I don't agree. This feels wrong. I mean, maybe you love planning parties or something, but it didn't seem like she did.
SPEAKER_01:So no, yeah. I that was like something I didn't necessarily agree with. I think that was maybe again. I think you agreed with this, like your least favorite chapter. Yeah, probably. Yeah. Another tip, I would say like the other one that I thought was kind of interesting was she talked about, she has a lot of frameworks in here, because we're gonna throw another one at you. She talks about the four stages of happiness, which I liked because I do think it's I do believe in this. So she says, anticip you she said to me, really reach like maximum happiness. You there's four stages anticipation. So the planning of it. She talks about this like planning a vacation, the fun in figuring out where you're gonna go and like what are you gonna do and just the buildup. I always love to tell this story. I might have even told it on here before, but I will I one of my favorite memories of when my second niece, Sophia, was little. She's so cute and she loves, she's very domestic. And I remember it was just me and her. I can't remember where her older sister was. Her brothers weren't born, and she was such a nugget, and we made a list of everything we were gonna do that night when we were babysitting. She making the list was the best part. That's so cute. She, but like that's it was the anticipation she loved making the list. She was like, Okay, that's a perfect example. Yeah. Yes. And like actually painting her nails wasn't even as fun as just saying we're gonna do it.
SPEAKER_00:So like checking it off.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, check right, checking it off. Yeah, I can't remember the other things, but I remember nails was definitely on there. And yeah, so when she said that, I was like, Oh, that's so true. Like planning is a lot of times half the fun. Savoring, so are you like in the moment, experiencing it, expressing happiness, talking about it, lastly, reliving it. And this is really like coming down to the build-building memories. Are you scrapbooking? Are you documenting? So you can go back and look at photos and relive that happy moment. I thought that was a nice way to think about things. Like, yeah, and also reframe so much of it is reframing, reframing planning and all of that. Like we're doing an ornament swap coming up. You know, maybe it's not a huge deal, but like planning it could be seen as a stressful thing. It's like it's like reframing to say, like, oh, what am I gonna, what are we gonna make?
SPEAKER_00:Or like, what are we gonna or like I'm I'm so proud of us for like doing this and for setting a date. And I I can't wait to have an ornament that I can look back on next year and be like, oh, remember we did that ornament swap? Like, just you'll always have like that fun memory.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Was like kind of leads to one of mine too. I like I think it was her first like truth, real truth, or whatever. How she says, like being happy, it's like acknowledging your right, you're wrong, whatever, in an atmosphere of growth. Like, I've never really thought about it like that. But it kind of like is the same thing where it's like the journey. It's like you always want to be growing. Like the second you kind of like reach the goal, it's almost like okay, well, like now what's next? And yeah, so I guess it was just like kind of reframing it to be like, you know, you always want to be kind of like growing in some way, shape, or form, or else you're not gonna find happiness.
SPEAKER_01:Honestly, I think that might be like one of the biggest takeaways was the atmospheric growth. Yeah, yeah. She talks a lot about this thing called the, I don't know if I'm gonna pronounce it correctly, hedonistic treadmill. Hedonistic, I think, yeah. And basically, it's just that, you know, people think that if they get the house or they get the job or they get to the destination, they're gonna be happy. But often those things like bring more challenges. You now have bills and things, or you have new responsibilities that you have to up here. And like basically saying like you can work really hard to get something, and it's kind of amazing how the human brain can just quickly adapt to that as like your baseline. And it actually doesn't make you more happy. Like new clothes, perfect example. You go and you get something new from the store, you're so happy you get that jolt of a new thing, and it's like exciting and happy, but then when you put it in your closet, I mean, how often do you you don't really get that same feeling? Maybe the first thing you wear is it?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah, that's a great example. It has to be like it has to be some kind of like novelty to it or something.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. So she says, like, it's just always about that's why like learning new skills in the hobbies piece, and just you know, developing a new skill set is so rewarding in and of itself, and that's really what you should be focusing on. And I think, like, I mean, bringing it back to the pod, I think that's a good example of this for us. We didn't know what we were doing when we started this, and I think every month we've kind of figured out new things. Yeah. And it's just like the process of doing it is like the rewarding part of you know, saying that we figured something out and we're learning.
SPEAKER_00:True. Yeah, like I feel like some of the fun, most fun of the pod is the our business meetings when we like do all our planning and behind the scenes stuff. I love our business meetings. Yeah, I love business meetings, yeah. Um yeah, no, I think the last one I had was it was when she was talking about like finding your own passions and like just finding, you know, little things that can just give you like a little happiness boost in the day. And one of mine was I was like trying to think about like okay, like I think hers was like her passions were like books and like I don't know, literature and shit. Yeah, I was like, I feel like one of mine could be music. She she says she's not into music, so I think that's what prompted. I was like, oh, I feel like music could be one for mine. I love singing, I love singing in the car. I usually drive my kids to school in the morning and I like to either listen to snitch and pod or sing in the car. And I feel like anytime I'm like get out of the car after, like, even if I'm in a bad mood and I like sing some songs in the car, I feel just a little bit better, you know? That's so true. Yeah. And just like getting more into music and like just putting it on more, I think will just naturally make me feel happier without like really trying.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I think that's a great call. I love that. I have one more now, though. I think I'm over my five, but I have one more.
SPEAKER_00:Okay.
SPEAKER_01:So she talks about one of the first things that she does is she declutters her house. And the whole premise is like she basically, I guess Marie Kondoing, like just she taught there's a few, I don't know how to like frame it in the way that.
SPEAKER_00:One of the things she talks about is like her her kids have like these random toys everywhere, you know, like keychains and like shit you get from McDonald's, and they look so clutter, but then she bought like some these like nice, like I don't know if they were like vase things or like just these like nice plastic containers and put them all in there, and it just looked so much better and so much more organized and like it actually looked good, and it wasn't that much effort. Yeah, that was a good example.
SPEAKER_01:That's a great example, and it just yeah, and it just makes you, I think it's like appreciating what you have. It's like, and I think it goes along with everything she's talking about, just like being mindful about what you're saying, what you're thinking, like choosing all those things. It's kind of the same of like choosing your stuff. And she talked about like when she starts, people have these different attachments, maybe because of like sentimental reasons, or they think one day they'll need it. But then if you never end up using it, it actually makes you kind of feel bad about like making a poor purchase. And so I kind of went through this because I'm not someone that likes to keep a lot of stuff. Like I like to live light, and I was cleaning out that one cabinet and I cleaned out a couple things in my kitchen. And there's like here's a perfect example. I have an electric wine opener I use. It's been sitting on my counter, taking up counter space for almost four years. And I have never once used it. Like never once. I mean, maybe once when I first bought it, but like literally never once. And I was like, why am I keeping this? Like, this is silly. It's taking up cap, it's taking up counter space. And like maybe I want to use it one day, but I'm not going to. So it felt really good to like get it out of there because why look at something that I never even use? Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Totally. It just makes like you even if your environment just like looks better and more appealing, then like it will make you feel better.
SPEAKER_01:Yes, exactly. So I just loved that.
SPEAKER_00:I would say overall, I enjoyed this book. Same. I did too. I think I I liked Untamed maybe a little bit better because I I did feel a little overwhelmed reading this book, but I liked this one. There's definitely like, yeah, I think to your point, it's a perfect time to read it because now I'm like, oh, what are all the things I'm gonna do this year?
unknown:Yes.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I totally agree. I think I actually think I liked it a little bit more than Untamed for that reason specifically. I kind of left away. I like walked away from it motivated to figure out what I can do to make changes.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Compared to Untamed, where I feel like I left feeling motivated, but not maybe with as many like action items.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah. Like untamed is more you just kind of sit with it. I liked this one too. And I feel like it really got the point across. Like I've always heard like you have to try to be happy, you know?
SPEAKER_02:Yes.
SPEAKER_00:Like that's a hundred percent true. It's like you, it's it's easier. I I was saying this this weekend, it's easy to be heavy, it's hard to be light. Like, meaning like it's easy to be negative, like a negative Nancy or whatever, and just like, you know, be the devil's advocate, but like it's harder to be like a nice, lighter, like you know, more f fun-loving person. So yeah, like there are you do have to kind of work at it.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, a hundred percent. I like the idea of like putting effort towards happiness, and I like having a pers like a prescription to do it.
SPEAKER_00:And doing it in your day-to-day life in like a you know, very small way, like even like you said about writing all your resolutions so they're right in front of your face every day. Like that's such an easy thing. Or like, like I said, like putting on music in the background, like that's such an easy thing to do that it all adds up, you know.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, and starting a scrapbook, like a small thing that can bring so much happiness for your future self for years to come.
SPEAKER_00:I know. Well, I was like, this is like your version of the journals, like the documenting. Cause like I try to do journals, but I feel like my hand hurts. And it's just, yeah, I I liked how she had one of her things was like doing, I think she said like a one, like a one-word journal where she would like write down just like a couple words from that day, like stuff like that. But yeah, I'm excited about my scrapbook. Keep y'all posted.
SPEAKER_01:I know. I'm glad we reread this one. I liked this. I thought this was a good yeah. No, I liked I liked this book and it was a good read. I would recommend. What would you give it for a rating? Out of 10, probably seven.
SPEAKER_00:I think I'm gonna do an 8.5 on this one. I'm definitely buying Chris this book for Christmas, and I'm gonna force him to read it.
SPEAKER_01:I'm curious what he's gonna think about it. I feel like he would like it. Me too. I think he's like us in the sense that he likes structure.
SPEAKER_00:Definitely. Definitely.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, let's finish by talking about our favorite show. I'm sad. I know. I'm like sad about it. Dancing with the stars is over.
SPEAKER_00:Sad.
SPEAKER_01:He's sad. Congratulations to the Mirror Ball winners, season 34, Robert and Whitney. What did like how did you feel about them winning?
SPEAKER_00:Okay, I have to say, in his instant dance, he messed up and they gave him all tens. Like, what the fuck? And I'm I mean, I'm happy for Robert. Like, he he he does deserve it. I think, I mean, everyone I've talked to thinks Alex should have won. Like, I think she should have won. I think it's way harder to be like a girl doing the girl dancing than the boy dancing. But I will say, like, Robert was always the first one like hugging people when they got off the stage. Like, you can tell he's a very like warm, genuine, nice person. So, like, I'll always vote for someone like that. But the other thing, I think, so my Chris's aunt brought this up, and I was like, Whoa, that's so true. Like, he definitely had like all of Australia voting for him, and that's why his sister won too.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, yeah, I I agree. I could so see that. Yeah, I mean, we forget though, he also had the biggest TikTok following, and the Dancing with the Stars cast lives on TikTok. Yeah. So yeah, I think I agree. I think he had all of Australia, and I think he had a good part of America because of his personality, to your point, but totally agree. I was outraged at that perfect score of his instant dance. That was ridiculous. Yeah. My jaw drop. Jaw drop. I wonder if they just like were looking down at that part. Because I was like, maybe, and I think also he was maybe turned away from them. I don't know how they all missed it.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I know. Skeptical of the city. I don't think they did it on purpose or anything. But it was a real slip. It's it's hard to figure out.
SPEAKER_01:Well, especially because right, I remember right before that, Elaine went and did hers, and she messed up too, like no doubt. But they gave her all nines, and I'm always very defensive of her judging. And but they gave him a 10. I was like, really?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. I didn't love the instant dance, honestly. That's new, right?
SPEAKER_01:I think they might have done it last year, but I don't like it either. It I they've done it one other year at least. I can't remember if it was in the finals though, but it's I don't think that that dance should get like as much merit in the scoring as the other dances.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I agree. I actually Chris's cousin showed me this thing where it showed like Robert the so like I think they got the cha cha for his instant dance, Robert and Whitney, and they like redid a good like their their cha-cha-cha that they'd already redone. So it's like the same choreograph, which I was like, that's not surprising. But like, yeah, which to your point makes it even more like they already did this dance.
SPEAKER_01:I guess, I guess in one way, maybe it's like, how can you, yeah, like how well have you retained what you learned to just pull it out? But it's stressful. I don't, I don't love them. I was really impressed with Dylan and Daniela's instant dance. Yeah. I did not have high expectations for them. Yeah. And I thought he did really well. He did. Um I did vote for Alex. I thought that's who I thought should have won as well. I I I mean, happy for Robert. I just will say though, I think that their freestyle might have been my least favorite of the whole night.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I feel like I can barely remember his now, honestly.
SPEAKER_01:They started in kind of like the back portion where it was not on the dance floor. They were kind of in like a light, oh kind of box type of thing. Yeah. And then they came out and did the dance to Avici's nights.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I think what it was was that the first three freestyles were killer.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Loved Alex's man eater. She was fierce. She crushed it. Yeah. I loved that one too. Crushed it. Dylan and Daniela, so smart to do contemporary. That works so well for him. He's strong. He can do like f you know, like he can do the handstands, certain things. He can grab, you know, he can toss her around. Like, I thought that was really smart on his part. Yeah. Yeah. And then I loved, I know this was an unpopular opinion. I don't think people thought that Elaine and Alan's freestyle was like as good as the others. I loved it.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. I I loved how Lee, what is there? Lisa Ann Walters.
SPEAKER_02:Lisa Ann Walter.
SPEAKER_00:I loved that she was in it. That like definitely gave it a huge boost. And yeah, I loved how she involved like some of the people that had gotten out and stuff like that. Like it was very like team oriented, I felt like. But I do get why people like the part when they were like pretending to be like at a casting call or whatever. Like I was like, this isn't that good. But I liked, you know, I I thought it was I liked the the feel. It was cute.
SPEAKER_01:I just thought I like it made I was smiling the whole time. And I loved Broadway of it all. I think because they did wicked that he felt maybe able to do that. Yeah. I really hadn't seen a dance like that before. That was so like a story type of thing.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, that's true. And then Jordan's was awesome too. Oh, I love Jordan's.
SPEAKER_00:I thought hers was awesome. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I felt like Ezra did a great job of making her the star of the show, and she crushed it.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. I the only thing with hers was I didn't understand, I didn't put it together when she was dancing with the other girl with her name down her leg. What is it? Normani. Normani, yeah. I didn't, I was like, who's this person? That was a little confusing, but I loved the Beyoncé, like loved the song choice. I loved her little grills in her mouth. Yeah. And I loved, yeah, like the chain link fence was like so cool. I thought, yeah, I loved her freestyle. Me too. That's music for sure.
SPEAKER_01:Did you feel like when you were watching in the beginning when they had all the pros come back? There was so many pros where I was like, whoa, totally forgot about you. Like, hey, Hilaria. Hadn't thought about you anymore?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Hey, Corey Feldman. Yeah. Like I liked Whitney much better as like a side character.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Oh, well, did you see that her and Mark Ballast went on Call Her Daddy the day after the premiere? Oh, yeah. They and they recorded on the dance floor their own freestyle and premiered it on that podcast.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I forgot. I heard about that. I didn't watch it. Did you watch it?
SPEAKER_01:I watched it. It was different than the normal because it's not live. The lighting was kind of funky. It was a little distraction, a little distracting. I didn't love it, but I did find the whole thing a little thirsty. Yeah, a little sore losery. It was just kind of like no one else gets to do a dance. Like, why are you the day after we're celebrating Robert and all these people? And then like she drops this. It felt like are like chasing clout and like.
SPEAKER_00:I also found out that she went to college like for dance. That's more unfair than even the Olympic gymnasts. And so, yeah, so Chris is Chris has a cousin who's like very into dance. She's like almost like a dance mom type thing. I mean, she wants, she goes to school in California. She like her goal is to be like a backup dancer. I was like, Would you be on dancing with SARS? But I she doesn't do ballroom. I guess the only people that do ballroom are in Utah. And then his other cousin, the old his older sister, was like wicked good at gymnastics, like a really I she obviously wasn't in the Olympics, but like a, you know, a very competitive gymnast. So I was asking them, I was like, is it fair that the gymnasts, like I would think that would be so unfair? And they were like, oh no, I don't think so, because gymnasts is like much more rigid and stuff. So I guess I have to take back what I said about all the gymnasts. I still think it's a little unfair, but it's way more unfair that Whitney like went to college for dancing. That's like if Chris's cousin now was on it. Like, that's totally not fair.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I think she got the brunt of that backlash. Like people, even on our TikToks, when we would post stuff, like the most of the comments would be like Whitney shouldn't be on here because she's like a professional dancer. Yeah. Yeah, I get it. I get it. I just, I just don't I just didn't like the move of like doing the dance after the fact. Like you got off. Yeah. You got kids, like just sort of take that. Yeah. Yeah. Like, and why do you have to do it the day after the premiere? Like, I would even I would even be a little bit better if it was this week. The fact that it was right after, I was like, I just don't love that.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah. And I wouldn't be surprised if she like went on their tour or whatever.
SPEAKER_01:I mean, I think she should because, or I could see her definitely like even getting a Broadway thing after this. Like, so I saw someone say that honestly the perfect move would be for her to play like Roxy Hart, just like Ariana Maddox did on Broadway because they'll probably get a boost in tickets again. And yeah, whatever.
SPEAKER_00:I'm not seeing it. I'm dying to see who Robert Irwin's girlfriend is. He's gonna have a girlfriend in five minutes, and I'm excited for him. I want to see who it is.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, me too. I was really honestly with their win, I was actually, I think, more happy for Whitney. I was happy for her. Yeah, because she's been on the show a long time, like 15 seasons, and she's she won her second or third season, and then she's never won since. And she was rock of Milo season. Like they absolutely should have won. It would have been like a Bobby Bones won that season, and Whitney and Milo came in second. Bobby Bones was like a Dylan Efron, but like worse. Like I would say between a I didn't watch that season, but I've seen clips of my Milo and Whitney, and I'm deep on the lore, so I know it happened. Everyone says that the that's the big season that the winner was robbed because Bobby Bones was far and away below.
SPEAKER_00:I mean, I saw that one dance that you sent me of Milo's, and they recreated it this year, and it was sick, so I believe that. And yeah, she's I mean, she she kicks ass. She's good.
SPEAKER_01:But you know, now that we're talking about it, he was 17 on that season, and he was like a Disney kid and was like fully dance trained.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, true. Like if you're like in high school musical, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Like, is that fair? I don't know. Yeah, no one likes that.
SPEAKER_00:I know. I feel like I'm I've been asking people too now that you know I like am a dancer with stars fan, I can talk about it. And like everyone I talk to, it's like, yeah, no one wants like the people that can dance, like the Fifth Harmony girl who's dancing to her own fucking song. Like, that's not fair.
SPEAKER_01:I forgot about her too.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I did too, but I remembered when I saw her again. So yeah, I wish there was a second season this year.
SPEAKER_01:I know we're gonna have to wait now a whole like nine months, but we'll figure out our next show. This weekend I binged the new Stranger Things, the first four episodes. Oh, is it good? Very good. I'm enjoying it.
SPEAKER_00:Chris and I just started re-watching the the last season because it came out like six years ago, so I don't remember any of it.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, it's it's good. I'm excited to hear what you have to what you think. Scary? Not more than normal. I mean, I think the thing is now to like we know what the demogorgons look like.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, it's less scary.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:We know what you know the the villains look like, so yeah, less scary. But there is, and I don't want to give it away, there is something that happens that I was very surprised by and very happy about. Oh.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, I'm excited. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:So that's all we have time for today. We hope everyone enjoyed our book club, The Happiness Pro. I'm I I really like this one. I like this whole combo. So I'm feeling motivated.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, let us know. I feel like if people uh do anything or have any ideas like my scrapping idea, let us know. We should post them and it would be just be so fun to share.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. We should also say, too, that for the month of December, just as a heads up, we are trying something a little new for this month. We are trying to get a few more guest episodes than normal. So we are gonna be doing our Friday episodes like normal, where it's just the two of us catching up, talking pop culture. But don't be surprised if we have some more guests on in the month of December than we normally do. And really, we would love any feedback on whether you guys like those episodes or want to kind of keep with just Wednesdays. So let us know.
SPEAKER_00:I wish we could like send a survey or something. I know, same. But anywho, but cool. But yeah, speaking of, like us, follow us, comment at us at Snitch and Pod on TikTok and Instagram. Go to our website, snitch and podcast.com, and tell everyone you know about us. Have a great week, everybody. Bye. Bye.