Snitchin
Tired of the daily grind and endless, unattainable influencer posts? Welcome to Snitchin, the podcast for the everyday woman. Take a break from your day and join two best friends as they get real about life, learn about new things, laugh, and build a community where everyone has a story to share. Reach out to us at snitchinpod@gmail.com - we would love to hear from you!
Snitchin
Episode 75: The One Where Ash Talks Coaching Athletes
From Pressure to Privilege: Inside the Mind of a Young Athlete with BeWeiss Coaching Founder Ashley.
It’s Wednesday—the best part of your day is here! We’re thrilled to welcome Ashley, founder of BeWeiss Coaching, for an incredibly insightful conversation.
Ashley works with middle and high school athletes, teaching them how to turn setbacks into fuel and goals into habits. We dive deep into:
- Why it's so hard for young competitors to shake off mistakes.
- The four pillars of the winning mindset: Confidence, Resilience, Gratitude, and Grit.
- How to handle the emotional stress that can make even elite players struggle.
This episode is a must-listen for anyone who believes that the mental game is the true path to success. Get ready to level up!
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Ready? Ready? Hey everyone. Welcome back to the latest episode of Snitchin. It's your host, Kristen. And Brittany, get ready for the best part of your day. It's Wednesday. You know what that means. We've got a guest episode. I am so excited about this guest. We have with us Ashley. She is the owner of her own coaching company, BYS Coaching. And we're going to talk a little bit about what it is that she does with the athletes that she works with. But we're also going to talk a little bit about how, you know, we know each other. Ash and I worked together back in the day selling software, slinging sales. Woo! I have to say, Ash, first off, welcome to the pod. We're so happy to have you here. Yes. Happy to be here, guys. And Ash is coming to us from California. Brittany, I know you're very jealous of that.
SPEAKER_02:Very jealous. Always you should be. I know.
SPEAKER_03:Well, you're from there, right? You're born and you're a Cali girl. Born and raised, yes. And then Ash was out in Massachusetts for like 10 years. Yeah, maybe like a little bit about your background. Why? Yes. No.
SPEAKER_00:Why would you come here? So I played college basketball, and I was getting heavily recruited by UC Santa Barbara, which is a Division I school out in California, right on the beach. Like junior year, took a visit, met the coaches, was ready to verbal commit and sign early and just cruise into senior year. And the head coach got a new job. So scholarship and everything just gone. Um yes. And at the time I had a huge ego and I didn't know anything about the recruiting process. So all the other D1s in California or anywhere else, I kind of just ignored. So senior year, nowhere to go. I didn't realize how small Massachusetts is. And I essentially signed my letter of intent without ever meeting the coach or visiting the campus, was kind of just like, all right, I'll go. If I hate it, I'll come back. And I ended up loving it and I stayed. So yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Ash went to the same school that your brother went to, Britt Merrimack. Merrimack. Oh yeah. My parents went there too.
SPEAKER_00:Yes. Oh, there you go. Go Warriors. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Mary New England. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Go Warriors. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:I just have to say, the first time I met Ash, so we worked together at this company. And I would say at the time, it was probably like 2016. It was the wild, wild west over there. Would you not agree? Oh no, 100%.
SPEAKER_02:Were you guys like cold calling at that job?
SPEAKER_03:It was like inbound calling. So people would sign up for the service and then we would call them like 20 seconds after they signed up and try to get them to go from a free trial to a paid subscription. It was very yeah. Well, they knew why we were calling, but like it was basically like how many sales can you get in a day? Like some people would be selling eight people a day. It was very fun, very competitive, and like literally 60 men to five women. Ash rolls in the first day. I remember you had on like, I don't remember exactly what you were wearing, but I think you're wearing your basketball shorts. You had your basketball in hand. And by day two, this girl is like standing on her desk, like hyping everyone up. She's like, let's go, let's like, let's get it. I'm like, who are you? Literally the best energy. Ugh, I so miss working together. It feels like, you know, 10. I mean, it was 10 years ago. Feels like a lifetime ago.
SPEAKER_00:Yes. I loved, I loved sitting across from Coco and 100%. I probably had basketball shorts on. I definitely always had a basketball in my hand. I was told that it was chill and laid back. I mean, we're shooting nerf bullets at each other. There was kids on shooters. Right. Like I worked best standing on the desk. I felt taller. I think it just gave me like a power of like, oh, I'm up here.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And you know, it was a good time.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, but you would have loved it. Like literally, anytime I was annoyed, I would just like look over at Ash. She's fist pumping music, crushing him. And I'm like, need people like that around. Yeah. Yes. And speaking of music, did you guys this is a very exciting day because it's Spotify Rap Day. Did you look at your Spotify rapped?
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, 100%. Any like surprises, or what were our top songs? I posted on Instagram, but I want an award for being in the top 0.4% of Taylor Swift fans.
SPEAKER_03:Just saying, let's go, girl. It gets smaller every year.
SPEAKER_02:Last year's 0.5.
SPEAKER_00:You're killing it. Yeah. That's impressive because there's a lot of Swifties out there. So that just shows that you are top tier.
SPEAKER_02:I'm like, Taylor, come find me now. You know who I am.
SPEAKER_00:Yes. Free tickets to everybody in the top 0.5%, I think is more than fair.
SPEAKER_02:I would agree. But my age was 19, which some people think is hilarious. But I feel like most people's is older. Mine's 66. I'm over here like what? Who is your top artist, Ash?
SPEAKER_00:My top artist was. Ooh, I'd have to go back and look. I'm not, I can't remember the artist, but my top song was Ordinary by Alex Warren, of course. Nice. Top genre was soft pop. So I think there was one too. Soft pop. We're the same. We're the same. Oh, a little soft pop for you too, 66-year-old. Okay.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. Well, we'll get this too, because I'm such a podcast nerd. And like definitely front half of the year was listening to so many podcasts. Snitchin was not even in my top three podcasts for the year. Nice. It's okay.
SPEAKER_02:Next year.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, next year.
SPEAKER_02:You listen to podcasts that are like three hours long, too.
SPEAKER_03:It's just always on. Like when I'm walking, when I'm driving, anything. I'm always listening. So Armchair Expert, shout out Armchair Expert, top 0.5% listeners. Nice. Let's go. Almost at my level. Almost. Almost. And then the Daily, The Toast, Snitchin, and then Call Her Daddy.
SPEAKER_00:Wow. Okay. But this is like the number one question that I need to know is what playback speed do you listen to your podcast at?
SPEAKER_03:I love that question. Great question. I listen at like a consistent 1.4 to 1.5.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_03:What about you guys?
SPEAKER_02:I always like try to do it at like 1.5 or something, but then I ended up doing it at like 1.2. So you guys are going to think I'm cracked out because I'm a 1.8er.
SPEAKER_03:Wow. Respect. No, you know what? I think this is too. We both went to sell software at other companies in Boston. And I think hearing yourself on the phone so frequently, at least that's how my experience, like, and just listening to sales calls, you know, if you manage a team, you're listening to their calls. Like, I have no patience. The faster, the better. Let's get through it. I think that's a part of the reason why I listen to things fast because I can get up to the 1.8. Like respect. I get that. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Good call out because like training videos, right? Call views could definitely be that. I also feel like when I listen to like anything less than 1.8, they're talking slow. Could be my ADHD, you know, could be that. But I like I listened it to 1.8 and it reads like it comes through as normal speed. I also think Californians talk faster. Oh, you think maybe? I do think a little bit. We're supposed to be laid back and chill, but that's just depends where in California.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. I mean, I I get it though. Like people who listen just on a plane, one speed. I don't think you're not doing it right.
SPEAKER_02:No. Except snitching. Listen to us on one speed.
SPEAKER_03:Listen, listen. 100%. Yeah. We listen to any speed you want if you're listening to snitching.
SPEAKER_00:But for everything else, you're not. We don't discriminate on speed. Good. Good. Just listen multiple times. Yes.
SPEAKER_02:Yes. Exactly. And rate us and all that. You know. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Like, subscribe. All of it. Find us on Instagram.
SPEAKER_03:Everything. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Well, let's, I think we should get into it. I am so excited to talk to you a little bit more about what you're doing now in your company and some of the things that you do when you're working with athletes. So just to tee it up and let me know if I'm getting any of this wrong. When did you find like when did you start BYS coaching?
SPEAKER_00:I had my first official class March of 2024. March 2026, it'll be two years. Yeah. My very first class ever. It was March 2024. There were five athletes, four girls, one boy aged 11, chewing on a bottle cap because his mom was late to pick him up. And I wanted so badly to reach into his mouth, rip it out, throw it away, or have him swallow it. Literally either one. Yeah. I had no presentation, no worksheets, no games. I like compared to what I have now, it was literally me, a whiteboard, and a piece of paper with an outline of what I wanted to talk about.
SPEAKER_03:So yeah, that is how we started. Started from the bottom, now we're here. Exactly. Very cool. And really what the mission is is you train the mindset behind an athlete. So you have a few different like focus areas, but you teach young competitors how to turn pressure pressure into privilege, setbacks into fuel, and goals into habits. I love that mission statement. But obviously, like I feel like this wouldn't have started had you not had your own passion for basketball, for being an athlete. So we talked a little bit about it. You were recruited to Boston through Merrimack to play basketball at the college level. But when did you fall in love with playing basketball? And what was maybe the biggest lesson that you learned from it growing up?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. So I was considered a late bloomer in the sports world. I didn't start playing basketball until like 10, which still seems pretty young, but most people are like, you know, four or five, their little kids' classes. I did everything besides basketball. So I did like karate, baseball, dance. And then eventually I picked up a basketball. And once I did, it was like game over. So I feel like I instantly fell in love. I have a natural work ethic. My dad's in law enforcement. My mom was a personal fitness trainer. So I feel like I just grew up in a strict, like get up early, work hard type of mentality. And it just resonated with me. So that is something I feel like kids have that and they still can be lazy, but that wasn't the case for me. The biggest thing I've learned, especially at a young age, is perseverance. Because playing sports and getting to the collegiate level is so hard. It is so, so hard. Aside from being physically skilled, which you have to be, right? I'm only 5'4. So to even be recruited division one the way that I was isn't something that most people might, like you have to have some skill there. But like to get there physically and all the training hours, but then the mental aspect of watching everybody else who's bigger, taller, but maybe not as skilled, it's easier for them, right? Like there's just like this whole comparison, and when you're young, you can't help but do that. And but I think the biggest thing was yeah, just persevering through the ups and downs, and eventually, you know, you'll get there.
SPEAKER_03:I love that. Did you have a favorite basketball star growing up?
SPEAKER_00:So growing up, no, you know, and still it's so hard to have a favorite basketball star because I just love the game. So if somebody has the game on, I have no problem watching it. I don't even care who's playing, if it's college, like high school, I don't care. Like I'm down and I'll get into it. But like a favorite player, no. I can name favorite players for specific things, but just not like one that I'm like obsessed with or like grew up idolizing.
SPEAKER_02:What teams do you root for?
SPEAKER_00:In college, I rooted for the Warriors. I was a big Steph Curry girl. It was like right when he was coming into his career. I could be wrong on that, but like he was small, he was shifty, he has a really good three-pointer. He went to Davidson, right? Which is like a great school, but it wasn't like he went to UNC or like you, you know. So I just liked his story and it resonated. And in college, I had a big poster of him in my locker.
SPEAKER_03:Oh I did I ever tell you I saw him in Ireland at the Guinness Factory? No, you did not.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I think I knew that.
SPEAKER_03:I had like a six-month period where I would not shut up about Steph Curry, and like friends of mine would be like, Yeah, we know who he is. Like the first time I've ever heard of him. I'm like, Do you guys know about this guy? He's legit. He's so legit. He's changing the game. His three fours. It was very serendipitous. I was at the Guinness Factory. We get this open table right near like the big glass window. And this woman comes up, and I'm looking at her, and I'm like, she looks really familiar. Sure enough, it's his wife, Aisha Curry. And I'd seen her cooking show. And then he comes up right behind with either like a tour guide, there was a couple of people with them, and my mouth just dropped. And my friend Jill, who I was with, who wasn't facing them, goes, You look like you just saw a celebrity or something. Like, did who's here? Like she caught it on my face, and I was just like, frozen. Brittany, of course. Freeze. Yeah. Freeze. That's my response for sure. Got it. I got a photo of the back of his head, which was very exciting, but that was that was where that ended. But I love that answer. So you started a couple of years ago, the company. What made you like want to go into business for yourself? And I I do want to preface by saying I do remember at our work days, you had started like a self-improvement blog. Do you remember? And I did. So you you always kind of had that, you know, like you said, grind, the perseverance, like you always had that passion to do stuff like this. So what made you want to start?
SPEAKER_00:Yes. Ah, B Wise blog. That just brought me back. I had like 300 people following it. It was, yeah, yeah, it was a good time. What made me want to start? So, like our sales background, right? So after constant contact, I went to Hubspot, which is a really big company. I was there for four years. I loved it until I didn't. And just your typical post-pandemic tech company stress, micromanage vibes, and the grind of getting the cell and the excitement of closing something big just no longer satisfied me. And it was hard because at that time I was making over 150,000 bucks. And that was like without even hitting my quota every month. So just getting by. But I would wake up crying or just like didn't want to do it. And I felt that way probably for like six months. And it's so against the grain of who I was and or who I am. So yeah, I was living with my parents at the time, and I just thought, you know what? If I'm gonna make any changes, now's the time. So I quit HubSpot and I was like, I'm gonna be a life coach. I got a life coach certificate. So I went to school. It took me like a year and a half. It was it was a program, but it was one of the top programs. It was it cost me like 15 grand. So it was literally like going back to school. Um, but it was very involved. Like every quarter, you would do a weekend of intense, like 12-hour days of just like practicing coaching and learning techniques. And yeah. So it was a very reputable school, and that's what I wanted. I want something hands-on. So I started coaching, and then I was life coaching adults, and I was like, I cannot listen to another problem from an adult where it's in my head, I'm like, dude, build a bridge, get past it. Like, this is this is not something to be upset about right now. So I was like, okay, probably not my niche there. And I was like, I think I just need athletes. I need the athlete who can take some hard truths, but is also struggling with things that I struggled with, you know, growing up in sports. And that felt very true to myself and to the type of client I wanted to work with. So then we went full force, went full swing.
SPEAKER_02:I have a question. I know they're different, but like, how is like a life coach different from a therapist?
SPEAKER_00:Very good question, because they are different. So life coaches are there to help you achieve goals, right? Or or help you remove blockers. Therapists are there to help you heal trauma wounds. I see. So if I'm working with an athlete and they say something that is out of my realm or like have some sort of trigger word that comes up or says anything a little, you know, a little too much for the life coach, I will then say, Hey, I think you need to discuss this with a therapist. Yeah, I think there's something a little deeper there. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:I feel like so Ash Britt and I have been doing a book club with the pod, and the past two books we've read. One is Untamed by Glenn and Doyle, one is The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. I feel like both of these ladies would be very proud of you for, as they would say, trusting your knowing. And I mean, it's hard. I I'm with you, right? Like leaving a job where you're making a really good living is daunting. And then just doing something entirely new is also daunting and investing in yourself and like making a big financial investment to shift this. So good for you.
SPEAKER_00:Thank you. And great books.
SPEAKER_03:I've read them both. So oh, nice. Yeah, no, they're so great. So at your company, right? You said we kind of talked the mission, but we left a little part of it out. So the four kind of components that you focus on, you talk about confidence, resilience, gratitude, and grit. Is there like one when you kind of approach a new athlete? Do you is there one area that you focus on more than the other to set them up for the rest of them? Like how do you go about that?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, great question. So if I have a new athlete, I always start with an assessment. The assessment is something that I've learned through my training. So it's a literal test that they will take. And essentially at the end of the assessment, I'm able to see how they handle stress and how they handle a regular day. So it'll give me two different charts. And when I explain the charts, I'm like, hey, here's your energy levels, is kind of how we frame it, during a stressful day. And it'll look chaotic and however. And then it's like, here's your energy levels when nothing bad is happening. Not necessarily anything like happy or sad, you know, but just like a neutral day. And then from there, we just address each level. So like the first level is like the victim mentality, right? Like, oh, this poor me, this is happening to me, like very stuck, very, very stuck. And then helping them go up in the levels. The second level is more of like that conflict of like, I want to fight, right? Like, nope, I'm upset, like everything is wrong. But it's a little bit more of a better energy than being like poor me, because when you're angry, then you're able to do something with that anger. So it's not like there's one thing to focus on, it's really meeting the athlete where they're at, and then asking them, most athletes can't bounce back from mistakes, right? I make a mistake and then I'm thinking about it the whole game, and then I don't want to do this, and now I'm playing timid. That's that like poor me, right? Like nobody cares about the mistake you made.
SPEAKER_03:So how are you gonna let it are you gonna let it dictate your future behavior?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Yes.
SPEAKER_00:So how can I get you from being like, poor me, I made a mistake, to at least being like, ugh, I made a mistake, I'm not gonna do that again, right? Like you're still upset, it's still not the best of place to operate out of. Like in general, we'd love for athletes to make a mistake, shake it off, and forget about it. But like if we can help them just increase their awareness that they are feeling something and that it's not helping their game, then that's like a win right there.
SPEAKER_03:That's really interesting, you know, because like I feel like it's so with athletes. I've had this thought before. If you're at a professional level, right, you have played this game majority of your life for and like every single day you're practicing it, but yet there's still the people who have a hard time in pressure moments, or like you hear about like those people who choke or whatever. And it's like the mental stress that those situations puts on a person, like you would think at even a professional level, you would have it on a you would totally have it handled, and a lot of them don't, you know. So it's like probably just constant having work on it. Yeah. Pressure. I was listening to this one documentary about a final four collegiate athlete. He was for Virginia, and they were they made it, they were the number one seed, and they lost to a 16 seed in the March Madness tournament. And like that had never happened before. I can't remember the player's name, but the next year he comes back and they make it to the game before the championship game. And it's like one second left. He has three free throws to shoot to get his team there. Like the and I'm listening to him talk about it, and I'm just like, the mental toughness that's the word I was looking for, that it takes to just like calm down, be in your body, and not let that rattle you. It he ended up making it and they made it to the championship and they won. And I was like crying by the end of it. But it's crazy. Yeah, I know.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, I always like think of like Simone Biles. Remember when she got the twisties?
SPEAKER_03:Yes, yes, I do. I know that even her, someone who has been like goaded so hard for so many years, like you never thought that she could get rattled or whatever. And it's like, yeah, it's interesting. So it sounds like it's very tailored. Is there though, even though you're doing an assessment and like kind of assessing everyone individually, is there a common pitfall that you see athletes fall into like when they're working with you?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I think the biggest one is just being able to let go of mistakes. Because what happens when you make a mistake is your nervous system literally tells you do not do that again. Right? Like if you make a mistake and you then feel like embarrassed or sad or mad, right? Like your body is being like, well, don't do that again because it's built to protect you. And because of that, don't do that again feeling athletes will play timid and they won't do it again, and then they'll leave the game frustrated because they work their butts off and it's not adding up. So they're like, in practice, I'm doing this, I train X amount of times a week outside of it, like I'm getting better, but in a game, it's just not connecting. And that is something that I resonate with so much, even like playing at the collegiate level, and I'm sure professional athletes, right? Like any athlete can resonate with, like, yeah, that makes sense. And that's the biggest one. How do you get an athlete to understand that mistakes are gonna happen, to rewire their nervous system, their nervous system, right, and to to make the same mistake again, right? To put themselves in a vulnerable position to do it again. And that is the hardest part because it's totally up to the athlete. There's really nothing I can do there, right? It's not like I can say go do a hundred push-ups and you'll get stronger. Super easy. Did you do them or did you not? Right. It's like I'm gonna talk to an athlete, they're gonna say, yes, coach, that makes sense. We're gonna unpack their feelings. I'm gonna ask them where's that pressure coming from? What are you talking about? What is the inner dialogue when you make a mistake? I'm gonna teach them how to talk back to it and then they're gonna go in a game and they're gonna do it or they're not gonna do it. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:That's like making me think, you know, not to keep bringing it back to our selling days, but like that is that's resonating with me where I remember I would tell when I was coaching my sales reps on calls, I'd be like, you are gonna get the no. Like, don't think that you're not gonna get a no. It's going to happen. It's gonna happen over and over and over again. It's gonna happen probably 90% of the time. So when the moment happens, like don't shy away from it. No, just know that you're prepared, you know what's going on, and you have the tools to like overcome whatever objection it is. It kind of sounds to me like it's a similar thing where it's like you just said it, you're gonna mess up. Like there's no way you're gonna have perfect games. It's not possible. So just know that, like, when you mess up, you know, you might be you might have a feeling, but like know that you have the tools to handle it and just keep it moving.
SPEAKER_00:No, a hundred percent. And it's just like the repetition, right? Like, in order to have a better jump shot, you have to take so many shots, right? So it's like to think just because these athletes talk to me and then they're gonna go the next day and play the most confident, it's like, no. And even with their mental aspect, I think it's even harder and takes even more repetitions just because the reward isn't instant, right? Again, if I said do a hundred push-ups a week for a month, like you're going to get stronger, yeah, regardless. But like with the mental side of it, it's just not that easy.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:So are there like techniques you use, or is it mostly just like kind of acknowledging that like you made a mistake, it's okay, like forget about it, talk it through, whatever.
SPEAKER_00:So it's like both, right? There's definitely like acknowledging and validating, right? Because at the time, similar to people, we're all self-centered. We all have an ego. It's just how we are, and it's okay to say that, right? We've we think the world's staring at us at times, so it's like validating like, hey, how you feel is normal. Because at the time, you don't think it's normal, especially when people around you are excelling or your friend who you know you work harder than is scoring more points. So it's just validating, like, hey, how you feel is normal. And then as far as techniques, I ask a ton of open-ended questions. Because I say the best thing about what I do is I don't have to have the answers and I don't have the answers because everybody's different. So if an athlete says, Well, it's really hard for me to let go of make a mistake, I might say, Okay, well, like, tell me more about that. What are you thinking? What are you telling yourself? Okay, the voice that you're hearing inside your head when you make a mistake, whose voice is that? And a lot of times it's not even their own voice, it's the coach or it's their parent or it's their team. And getting them to understand that the voice that you're hearing isn't how you feel about yourself. You don't think you suck, like you know that, right? Like you're having a problem because you know that you've practiced, but it's not paying off, so it's not connecting. So it's just like getting them to learn how to talk back to that voice is like step one. Well, step one is just like acknowledging that you're hearing something, right? Because they try to just block it out. So I'm like, if you can in a game, if you make a mistake and you go, oh, that was sucky. And if you can just be like, oh, hold on, that is that voice inside of my head and just acknowledge it, huge win. And then eventually we'll learn how to talk back to it. Like words to have, like for me, I always use next play. So like in college, if I mess something up and I was stuck, I'm like, okay, like it's next play, right? And like eventually we'll get to like, okay, what is your word or your phrase and stuff like that?
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. Is there, do you have a, you know, without naming names or whatever, giving anything too specific, but is there an athlete you worked with that you have like a special fun moment or like a breakthrough moment that kind of resonates with you, you know, since you've been doing this?
SPEAKER_00:Oh, I have so many athletes when you said that. But I I'm working with an athlete for the first time. And this athlete was exciting because they found me through my website. So it was like a complete stranger, not somebody I've worked with or a team. So that was really fun in general. And she's younger, but it's it's just oh so eye-opening the stress that 11-year-olds put on themselves, right? And and that's like how it starts. It starts so young, and it's like if we don't address this now, it's just gonna continue, whether it's with sports or life. So, like with this individual, there was a session where we were talking about the difference of playing in a game versus playing out recess with your friends. And they were like, Well, when I'm playing at recess, I'm having fun. And I'm like, Well, when you're playing with your team, what is it supposed to feel like? And she just broke down and cried. And I I love when an athlete cries because in my head, I'm like, hell yeah, we're getting there. Um, but it's just like that level of vulnerability that these athletes are able to have at a young age. And I think the generation is different. Not for all of them. For some of them, I'm like, oh, you're you grew up in the household that I grew up, but like for some of them, I'm like, oh, you talk about your feelings. So um interesting. Yeah, so it's just cool to hear them say, like, well, I don't have fun, and then like unpacking that of like, well, what would you need to do to have fun? How do we make Ray Reese feel like your club team games? And like those moments are just cool when they start to connect it.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Do you feel like this generation, like the younger generation, is more like emotionally intelligent than like maybe ours? Because I always think back, I'm like, oh, think of all the people that like when no one acknowledged mental health and no one acknowledged like all these pressure and the stress that athletes are under, it must have been so hard.
SPEAKER_00:No, great question. I think they're emotionally more vulnerable. I don't I can't say when I was their age that I would sit in a class that I'm that myself would teach and open up about, yeah, I feel pressure. Like I might sit there and it might resonate, but I don't know if I'd be the one speaking up. I see. And these kids want to talk about it, which is amazing. Yeah. So like the the way the classes are now, group classes are my favorite because they're interactive. There's worksheets, but I also work on public speaking. Like they'll do a worksheet about their feelings, and then I'll say who wants to share. And the eagerness for kids to share and to stand up in front. Of a room and go, I feel pressure from my parents, and I wish it felt like this, right? And they're just like, and if they mumble, I'll say, speak with your chest. Like it's a safe space room. And yeah, it's just a good time. So I love that. So is it mostly kids? Yeah. Yes. It's mostly kids. The youngest I will ever have in a class, and I really don't prefer it. Is like, I'll take like a nine-year-old if their parent is there, or if they're like emotionally capable of just sitting there not being a distraction. But the sweet spot are middle school to high schoolers. So like that 12 to like 18 range.
SPEAKER_03:First off, I'm just so proud of you. I feel like what you're that's it's so amazing to put like so meaningful. Exactly. Thank you. Like putting them all in a space, in a space where they can, you know, say like how they're feeling of that in front of their peers is like pretty incredible. But now it makes me think though, how is it handling parents? Because you're working with the parents like for your services. I'm sure they're wanting updates or whatever, however, it's measured. But then I'm sure sometimes they're also maybe part of the problem. So what's that like?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, you know what's funny? It's my experience, the parents are kind of opposite of what you said. They're very much out of it. I when I meet with a parent, I'm very upfront with like my confidentiality is with your athlete. If they say anything that I think is harmful or that needs to be addressed or that might require therapy, I will let you know a thousand percent. If you want to ask me anything, I will answer what I think is appropriate to answer. But it's really important that there's a safe space between me and your athlete. And they fully understand that. If an athlete cries during a session, I do let the parent know just because I don't want them to get their kid back all triggered up and they're like, what just happened? Yeah. But I'm typically like, hey, just so you know, so-and-so cried today, but I think it was a really good moment if you want to talk about, like, feel free to call me. But the parents that I've worked with are just happy that their athlete is opening up because most times parents are like prying, like, well, what's wrong? Or like, why can't you do this? Or like, well, what are you thinking? Or like they're trying to be helpful, but it's your mom and it's your dad at the end of the day, like, they don't want to talk to you about what's happening. Yeah. So I think they're just happy to have that safe space. Then I will update as needed, essentially.
SPEAKER_03:But I am curious though, like, most of our friends have young kids who are starting in the next five years to get into elementary school and whatever. And, you know, some of them even middle school. But like, do you have any advice for parents as they are starting to get their kids into sports of just like either like you know, good behaviors that they can model or things to be aware of?
SPEAKER_00:Yes. Make it fun. Oh, make it fun, encourage your athlete. I used to teach an intro to basketball class at the sports facility that I work at now. And it was five to seven year olds. And I have seen parents come onto the court and get their kid off because whatever behavior they think they were having. And I'm a strict coach as it is, so I will handle it myself. But I have seen parents like remove their kid from class or coach him from the side. And it's just like, just if they fall, just clap for them. Like, yeah, at that early of an age, what you really need to focus on and try to coach if you want to coach anything is them just being a good participant in class, right? Like, if your kid is off in the corning spinning and doing circles, like that is something that we could say, hey, you know, there's other kids who are trying to learn. Maybe we should try to focus a little bit more, right? Like behavioral things versus the talent themselves. Because like, no kid's gonna be that talented. I mean, they even if they're good, they're still not, you know, high school level good at five years old.
SPEAKER_03:I love I love watching like little people play like soccer and stuff. It's so funny. Like they cannot even figure it out. It's awesome. Yeah. Okay. So what do you think was like the biggest challenge in doing this and starting this?
SPEAKER_00:I think the biggest challenge and something that I still definitely face is just like imposter syndrome. When you're first starting something and you're like, oh, let's see how it goes. And then it like starts to go, like, oh, I think I could actually maybe do this. There's been so many times where I've walked into a room where I'm like, I'm not qualified to be here. Or like the fact that I played division two versus division one, right? Like, I feel like you typically think, oh, I used to play division one and I played overseas basketball, and I, you know, I have all of this experience to talk about, and I don't necessarily have that basketball resume. So like that's been difficult. I recently did a conference for the county of Department of Education, which is like the biggest thing I've done. Cool. And there's 200 people. Damn. Um, and it's just like, oh my God, right? Like, yeah, am I qualified enough to talk to this group of people? And as soon as I start talking, the answer is always yes. But when I'm setting up the room and I'm like, okay, like it's go time, the nurse, right? That athletic, like, okay, like the inner athlete comes out. I'm like, it's nerve-wracking. Like, I have my little routines before big talks. But yeah, because when it's your business, it's you. So if somebody says no, like selling, if somebody said no, I'm like, that's totally fine. I would say no too. It's expensive, like, yeah, it's kind of clunky, whatever, right? But if there's ever somebody who says no, I'm like, ooh, you didn't need me. And that yeah, something to like, okay, how do we move past that?
SPEAKER_03:Because I think that's the difference between I always say that I think truly, maybe the most terrifying thing someone could do is stand up comedy. I could never, never, but it's that type of thing where I'm like, because if you're acting and you're on a stage, you're acting someone else's part, but if it's comedy, it's your material, and that's the whole new level of vulnerability. Like you're saying, like if you're selling some other product, it's like they don't want it, it's not you. They don't, you know, that's you don't feel this personally.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Yes. Really putting yourself out there.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:How did that talk go? Did it go well?
SPEAKER_00:It did, yeah. It was an all-day conference. I taught four different workshops. So they would come in, they'd come out. It was on resilience. The topic was resilience, built, not born. And it was amazing. It was a great time. It's led to other opportunities and hopefully returning opportunities with them. So that was a big career moment, right? Like if this continues on the way I want it to, and I look back, I'll be like, that was that was a shift. That was a good little bump.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. So you crushed it. Thank you. Imposter syndrome, no more.
SPEAKER_00:It's automatically gone. Exactly. Yes.
SPEAKER_03:What is your favorite thing about having your own business?
SPEAKER_00:Favorite thing is that I'm my own boss. I've never liked being micromanaged. So it's like, there's nobody managing me. I create the material on my own. So nobody's ever telling me what to say. There will be some collaboration as far as like what are you looking for? If I'm working with a specific team, I'll ask, like, hey, what are some of the issues you're facing, common themes? And then I'll say, okay, this is the topic we're gonna do. And I get to completely be creative, which is huge. I didn't realize, like, I'm an arts and crafty type of person, but I didn't realize like the creativity I have as far as putting on a seminar that's gonna keep young people entertained for 45 minutes. So that has been fun. And just continuously retweaking and rebuilding. I'm a huge feedback girl. I'm always like parents will come and sit on the class, and I'm always like, what did you think? Tell me what you thought. And they're like, I came to this topic mainly for myself, and I just brought my kid with me. So yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Very cool. Okay, so let's say someone wants to do not even necessarily be a life coach or have a life coach business, but does want to go out on their own. Is there any advice that you would give to someone in that position?
SPEAKER_00:I would say I would tell them whatever you do, do it full out, like a hundred percent empty the tank. Even if it even if it's not what you yeah, full send. Even if you don't stick with it, that's okay. Right? Like, I was so sure that I was gonna be a life coach for adults, so positive. And like bought the schooling, did the certificate, like everything, just to then have to pivot into switch. So I would say, like, full send it, but expect pivots, pick a direction and then expect to change it. And when you do change it, just understand like now you're in the process of like entrepreneurship, like you are here now. Love that. Be adaptable. Yeah, exactly. It's all about the journey. There you go. Look at you guys.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, come to my next talk.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Well, I have so enjoyed having you on, Ash. Is there anything else? Any last takeaways that we didn't ask you about or anything that you want to share before we start to wrap up?
SPEAKER_00:The only thing I would say is for any person out there, regardless of athlete, entrepreneur, whatever, whatever you are doing in life, expect a setback. Expect it to get hard, expect yourself to get knocked down because life is made of those moments and nobody can avoid them no matter how much we try. And true mental toughness is how you bounce back. So if you want to cry about it, cry about it. But understand how long you decide to stay down and how long you decide to cry about something is a choice. And being a mentally tough is picking yourself back up and deciding to continue on. So really big in the power of choosing things. And I think that's just like the biggest thing I always try to emphasize with my athletes is it's gonna suck, you're gonna fail, you're gonna get knocked down. It's a filtering process because a small percent of people live out their dreams and fulfill the certain things and their goals. And life is made to filter out those who don't want it as bad as they think they do. So if you want it bad enough, hang on, get back up and keep going. Love it.
SPEAKER_03:Love that. Love that. Preach. Well, this has been so great. If anyone wants to check you out, Ash, or anyone in the Cali area, where can they find you?
SPEAKER_00:Yes, you can find me on Instagram at Bewise Coaching. I'm also on TikTok, also B Wise Coaching, and I have a website which is Bewise Coaching. I also do virtual events, and I have flown out for speaking engagements. So wherever you are, if you need me, let me know.
SPEAKER_01:You've done so much in like almost two years, not even. Keep going. Gotta keep going.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. I can't say I'm surprised.
SPEAKER_01:Not easy. Thank you.
SPEAKER_03:We hope everyone enjoyed this episode as much as we did. We will be back with a regular episode, me and Britt on Friday.
SPEAKER_02:Make sure to like us, follow us, tag us, comment at us on social media at Snitch and Pod on TikTok and Instagram. Go to our website, snitch and podcast.com, and tell everyone you know about us.
SPEAKER_03:Thanks so much, Ash.
SPEAKER_02:Thanks, Ash.
SPEAKER_03:You're welcome.
SPEAKER_02:See ya. Bye.
SPEAKER_00:Bye.