Jet Fuel - Concord Conversations

Finding Your Place: The Power of Christian Community

Concord Baptist Church Season 1 Episode 4

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0:00 | 23:34

Christian community is crucial for spiritual growth, yet only about 34% of Concord Church members participate in community groups despite our natural tendency to seek community in other areas of life.

• Community provides essential support systems, especially for those without local family connections
• Most people avoid vulnerability in church settings due to fear of judgment
• Healthy community groups offer accountability without weaponizing confessions
• When seeking trustworthy community, ask: "Do they love Jesus and do they love you?"
• Post-COVID church attendance has declined from three times monthly to 1.6 times monthly
• Community groups serve as first responders during life's challenges before church leadership becomes aware
• Community requires gathering first - consistent church attendance precedes deeper relationships
• Different community groups have different dynamics - try several to find the right fit

If you're hesitant to join a community group, just try it. Contact our Connections Pastor David who can help match you with a group where you'll feel comfortable and grow.


Welcome to Jet Fuel

Speaker 1

Welcome to the Jet Fuel podcast , a series of Concord Conversations . In each episode , our lead pastor and a guest will sit down and dive a little deeper into what we learned as a church that week . These are honest , practical conversations to fuel your faith and help you live it out with purpose and consistency . Or in other words , this is Jet Fuel for your soul . Or , in other words , this is Jet Fuel for your soul .

Speaker 2

All right , we are back again with Concord Conversations , Jet Fuel . Can you believe this ? I mean , we're already . What four weeks into ?

Speaker 1

this thing ? Yeah , I think this is week four . That's crazy , it is crazy .

Speaker 2

You're doing so good too , by the way . I know it's still kind of awkward , though I mean I'm struggling with it , but I'm so grateful for you guys that are watching and listening , because , man , this is really our heart is to help you guys and to walk alongside you and have real conversations . So this week we are doing community and gathering which is like your jam right , I do so .

Speaker 1

I was hired here as groups guy . That's why I came here . That's why we moved here . That's what I was doing . I love community groups . I think they're important year . That's what I was doing . I love community groups . I think they're important . I think they do so much for you as a church member and as a believer , and I'm excited about this conversation .

Speaker 2

Well , it is going to be a good conversation and I'm going to be honest , I'm going to ask you some hard questions because this is , I think , one of the things that the people listening I mean this is probably one of the things that's make or break for a lot of people .

Speaker 2

It is do I want to go all in ? Do I want to sacrifice the time , those kinds of things . But I think it'll be a great conversation , and so let me just start out with just a broad stroke . Aaron , why is it that we would say community matters

Why Community Matters

Speaker 2

? I mean , what is it in a community group or in a gathering of believers that is so valuable to somebody ?

Speaker 1

Well , I think just community in general I think is important , like we , if you look at just the way that everyone lives their life , like it's in some way some fashion , some form , they are connected to some form of community . So whether that's they play on a softball team or they are the people they work with , they all work in the same unit . Like at some point you're connected to some sort of community and so you kind of find your place , you kind of figure out how you fit , how you interact with those people and what that looks like . But then when you translate that into a church setting , it gets even more important because it's so easy to kind of get lost in just like the bigness , especially like churches the size of Concord and larger . It's easy for you to just kind of come , not be seen , not really be known . And so for me community is just so vitally important to the life of a believer .

Speaker 2

Well , let me go back to something you said , because you said we naturally kind of go towards groups anyway . So I mean , it's kind of we almost operate just instinctually by gathering together with the same likes If you're a Braves fan or you hold on to the mediocrity of Texas A&M or something like that .

Speaker 2

But I mean it even on a negative side . I mean this is where you get cliques in middle school and high school and , let's be honest , people still do it as adults . But we do kind of group and gather by our common interests the school you support I mean even dangerously , talking about political parties and things like that . We do group up , so what would be different ? Out of our natural desire to be with like-minded people . That makes Christian community in a local church so valuable to people .

Speaker 1

So what's interesting is , yes , we automatically gravitate towards community , but I would say the only place that we do not do that is church . Why , and I don't know why ? That is because , if you just look at Concord , just in general , Okay , we're talking specifically Concord . Specifically Concord . Only about 33% of our people are involved in some sort of community group .

Speaker 2

Well , you corrected me on that today because I put it on the board . I said a third of our people are in community .

Speaker 1

He goes it's actually 34% , so between 33% and 34% of our people . That's it . And so , yes , we gravitate towards community , but in the church we don't , and I think the difference is when you're thinking about like a softball team or your work setting or whatever . The other groups are People at school yeah , yeah you can be shallow and not really be vulnerable and still be connected to that group , right you ?

Speaker 2

just have to have a common interest .

Speaker 1

Correct a common interest when you take it to a church setting . Yes , okay , maybe we're all believers in that group , but if you don't take it to like the next level of vulnerability and accountability , like it's not really , it doesn't , it's not really .

Speaker 2

Well , see you're running down this road already . I was gonna wait to get to some of this stuff , but sorry but the vulnerability deal that is like I mean that's almost like a do not cross sign . I mean , is the road sign the big x in the road that was like man for ? I mean that's almost like a do not cross sign . I mean , it is the road sign , the big X in the road that was like man for most of us that's the area that we don't want to get to .

Speaker 1

So let's hold on to that , because I do want to circle back to it .

Speaker 2

But what would you say would be one of the benefits ? Let's just take best case scenario for people listening . What is one of the top couple benefits ? It would be to take a step to say , all right , I'm going to try something new , I love my church , I love what God's doing , but I need to move from the crowd to the community

Benefits of Christian Community

Speaker 2

. What are some of the benefits that someone is going to receive just instantaneously , before we get to some of the vulnerability and things like that ?

Speaker 1

I think one of the biggest one is just a support system in general Because , like I think about the demographic of our church and how it's changing a little bit away from hey everybody because I think probably I wasn't here , but from who I talked to 10 years ago everybody that kind of attended Concord . All their family also lives here and so they have that support system already . But if you just look at our staff , that's not the case .

Speaker 1

We're all transplants Like we're all transplants and so for me that's one of the biggest benefits , just on a very , very surface level , is there is a support system there , like we just had a new baby and like there's been people come like out of our community group that have brought things over to our house , that have come visited , like this , came to the hospital and so like .

Speaker 1

For me that's like top , just surface level . It is a support system that you can have and just being known like right as who you are is a benefit , like if you don't even talk about the accountability and the vulnerability of it's just a support system and people knowing who you are right , and we've moved from a like interest to a like purpose people who are chasing after Christ and so I think that's super important for us as well because so much of life we try to muscle up through , we try to do on our own strength and really when you add people that are running in the same direction , with the same calling , with the same purpose , you are adding people just shoulder to shoulder with you .

Speaker 2

So when you have a baby , you know this is not some spiritual crisis or your life falling apart . It's just another thing within your life . You know , and people show up . That's a big deal , which , with a third child now and a newborn , how's your sleep schedule going ?

Speaker 1

I'm tired , you can tell I have like congestion because I'm not sleeping , but she's great , she's great , that's awesome , she's great .

Speaker 2

Well , when we think about community and we talk about adding a support system , what is it that we lean on when times do get tough ? And so it is a support system . But how does it work here at Concord ? When times get tough , maybe someone loses a job , they lose a parent or a family member , maybe they've got a kid that's gone wayward or they're struggling . Some kind of tragedies hit . What's the responsibility of the community group , the Christian community around them ?

Speaker 1

Well , I think it kind of goes back to like , when you look at , go all the way back to the early church , like Acts talk about the beginning of Acts , when the church started , and they it talks about them like sharing all their resources and taking care of each other Right , if this person has a need , they take care of that need . And so when I think about how it works in a church setting , specifically Concord I've seen example after example of community groups here when someone loses a job or someone loses a family member , or even good things , like someone gets a promotion and they celebrate it as a group . It's just a way of going back to them , being known and knowing what they need in that moment of like hey , they don't need this , I know their personality , I know how they operate .

Speaker 1

They don't need this . I know their personality , I know how they operate . They don't need this . They do need this and so it's an automatic like I take like Micah and Jen Hoyt , for example . They're two of our community group leaders . Here they I just example after example from them of like someone in their group has a baby or someone in their group loses a job and they financially come together , Like just all kinds of things like that , of like they're living out ,

Support in Tough Times

Speaker 1

actually living life together , Because I think that can be a cliche statement that we say as a church all the time .

Speaker 2

It's in every church like mantra life is better together , yeah .

Speaker 1

But I think there are example after example here of people that actually do that .

Speaker 2

Well , and I think too , when we talk specifically about when things get tough for folks . Very humorously , years ago I was coaching Thad's basketball team and there was another guy in the church who was coaching along with me and we were having practice one night and the kids were warming up and we were standing under one of the goals and he goes . Hey , clint , I hope this doesn't catch you off guard he goes , but I have a question . He goes , I know you're a pastor , but like outside of Sunday , what do you do ? He goes .

Speaker 1

I love that question . It's so funny . What do you do Monday through Thursday ? Yeah , Do you just like hang out ?

Speaker 2

or what . And so I thought about it because I didn't want to start defending , you know , planning the mission trips and the budgets and the counseling and all the things like that . But I just said , I put it like this . I said , hey , but what I do is I work in people's 1% and so 99% of the time your life is fine , it's good , you can make it . But that's that 1% that things fall apart . And that's when you reach out to the pastor of the church or something like that hey , my marriage is falling apart . Hey , we're financially tough . Hey , we got a cancer diagnosis . Hey , x , y or Z insert your tough time . And I'm going .

Speaker 2

But literally with community groups that becomes almost an in-between step between a church our size and the pastor . Which how many people can we truly minister to ? But I've heard over and over about Concord community groups , that exact thing . Something goes crazy . And before the deacon body or the staff body even hears about it , the community group has just rushed in , they've brought food , they've prayed for , they've got it out there . I mean , a lot of the prayer requests that we get have already come through the community group .

Speaker 1

Oh yeah , like we signed . I was thinking about it today actually , because we , like , as a staff , we have cards that we send people when we know they're going through something and we sign them . And out of the five that I signed today , four of them I knew had already been taken care of and it wasn't by staff , it was by people in our church that they were connected in community group .

Speaker 2

Yeah , yeah . So when we think about community groups though , here's one of the false narratives . All right , I think for a lot of times from the pulpit and I don't think there's anything malicious on our part . But we talk constantly about , hey , every church member needs a community group . Well , some people have tried it before and it didn't work out well , but a lot of times when people tried it , they just attended . So what's the difference in attending a community group ? I mean going on Sunday morning to you know what people would call a Sunday school class , or maybe even like a Thursday night or a Monday night . We have community groups all the time . What's the difference in someone just being present and attending and actually getting real and building relationships ?

Speaker 1

So

Vulnerability vs. Just Attending

Speaker 1

going back to what you told me to wait on , so I think I can come back to this .

Speaker 2

Now's the time I teed it up for you . Yeah , so I think I can come back to this .

Speaker 1

I teed it up for you . Yeah , so I think the difference is the vulnerability and the accountability piece .

Speaker 2

Because just as a dude , I just you know we kind of that vulnerability thing is an acquired taste , it is not a tendency , especially for men , I agree .

Speaker 1

But I have seen like , especially in men's , only like groups , like small groups that I've been in , only like groups , like small groups that I've been in , that community goes to a whole nother level when , like , the men in that group are actually honest . Because I mean I have been in community groups with people for a year that I had no idea anything about their life and it's because they just refused to talk about their life , they wanted to stay very shallow , they didn't really want to share anything and I mean that's their prerogative .

Speaker 2

But what's the fear ? What are people scared of when you go ? That vulnerability , that authenticity , that genuineness of not just attending but being a part of it what is it that we're actually scared of ? So I think judgment is a fear . Oh come on .

Speaker 1

I think judgment is a fear . Oh , come on . I think judgment is a fear for people Because you don't want to be honest and you don't want to confess or whatever that looks like for you , because you're scared that the people that are going to hear that are automatically going to judge you for what you just said .

Speaker 2

But truth is probably the people in that group are just as jacked up as you are 100% .

Speaker 1

They may not be doing the same things that you're doing , but I guarantee you they're struggling with something else , and so I think a fear of judgment is something that holds them back , but also a fear of like hey , then they're going to have to face whatever that is . You're going to have to deal with it .

Speaker 2

You can't just bury it .

Speaker 1

If you confess something or you share something with a community group one , you're scared that they're going to judge you for it . But then they're going to judge you for it . But then automatically the people in that group know , and if they're actually following Jesus and are believers and living life the way Jesus has told them , they're going to hold you accountable for that as well .

Speaker 2

So it looks like this so let's say I'm in a community group and I go in and I've got some financial issues or something , and you're just like man , we're really struggling , we got a pay cut , we got this or that , or hey , a credit card bill's out of control . What we're scared of is people are going to go . Why can't you have self-discipline and not use your credit card ? Or what kind of decisions are you making ? But really in a community group it's more like how can we help ?

Speaker 1

How can we pray for you ? How can we help ? You know , bear some of this burden with you .

Speaker 2

But we're scared that we're going to be judged when actually those people are there to go . Hey , man , I've been there , or hey , I've been with something like that . Let us walk beside you .

Speaker 1

And I think the third thing probably and we were talking about this a little bit this morning is there are some people who have , like , really tried to be in a community group and were honest and were vulnerable and then it was weaponized against them and so they have this hurt of hey , I'm not doing that again , Like I did the honesty thing , I did the vulnerability thing and it backfired and they've just said hey , that's not something I want to be a part of .

Speaker 2

It is I mean , let's be real , we tell people all the time you need to get in community and when people do it , then they take the step of being open and honest and kind of sharing , and then they get trucked .

Speaker 1

You know it goes back to what .

Speaker 2

I had to do with that , though . I mean , I had to send them back .

Speaker 1

Yeah , I think yes , I will keep sending them back to community group and I think it's because I always go back to . I had a pastor . The pastor that I served under in Knoxville would always say hey , when you're looking for community and you're looking for people to trust , you have to ask yourself two questions Do they love Jesus and do they love you ? Because , I think they like there are a ton of people in our church that love Jesus Okay , and that are following Jesus A hundred percent agree .

Speaker 1

The second question do they love you ? It's not that and that question . I know it sounds really broad , but what he means by that and what he meant when he was trying to say , hey , when you're finding community , do they love Jesus and do they love you ? Is basically like , is there a trust there ? Like , is there a relationship there that has been built to where , hey , like we're going to share things and this is going to be like the trust circle and we're going to stay in it because , for example , like I'm me and my wife lead a community group of young couples that haven't been married that long . They're just now having kids , like all this stuff .

Speaker 1

I do share a lot in that group , but I also have a group of accountability guys that I meet with once a month that I share a lot more . Right , and it's because there's been a relationship like defining that relationship has been like , hey , I'm going to throw everything out there to you and the purpose of why you guys are here are . I need the accountability here and I need you to tell me , hey , that's not okay .

Speaker 2

And just with your accountability group . Those guys aren't pushovers . No , they are not .

Speaker 1

They're not just going your accountability group . Those guys aren't pushovers . No , they are not .

Speaker 2

They're not just going to be like oh Aaron , you tried really hard .

Speaker 1

No , and they will ask me tough questions and they will make me answer , which is helpful , and so it's just a difference in what those relationships look like , and not that I don't like , I'm not vulnerable with those guys and those couples that I'm leading , but it just looks different for some of them , and so I think that is the biggest thing for me is do they love Jesus and do they love you ?

Speaker 2

So if someone's been hurt , they've had a bad experience with a community group , your heart would say , hey , give it another try , but run it through a different filter , making sure the people you're with love Jesus , and that they would actually care about you and walk beside you .

Speaker 1

Well , and I would even say you don't have to automatically go in in the first meeting .

Speaker 2

You'd be open and honest , just bare your heart .

Speaker 1

Like that . I'm not asking you to do that , like I think , because even when I'm pushing people and telling people to start or try a community group here , I tell them to try more than one . I'm like , hey , don't just try one and stick Like stick . There's different relationships and different dynamics .

Speaker 2

It's just every group here looks very different . I had a pastor tell me one time he goes . I want you to try groups . Go and try a couple , he goes . Try this group . If you don't fit and it's awkward , go to another one . If it doesn't fit and it's awkward , he goes , go to a third one , he goes . But if after three you can't find somebody to get along with , they're not the problem you are .

Speaker 1

You're the one that doesn't fit . Yeah for sure .

Speaker 2

But okay . So we've talked about fear of being judged . We've talked about some of the things . Here's two more things . One is how has the pandemic and COVID had continued cultural impact ? I mean , it's really changed the way a lot of people have pursued Christ , especially within the local church , which is God's plan , and so , when we think about that , how has the isolation and the digital nature of really a relationship with Christ and obedience and community has been affected ? What

Post-COVID Church Attendance Challenges

Speaker 2

are some of the lingering effects that we've seen ?

Speaker 1

I think in the teaching , when we were talking about community , one of the other words that we were talking about when we were talking about the study of that was the word gathering and how we want to use them synonymously , but they're really different .

Speaker 2

Yeah , the gathering of believers in the community .

Speaker 1

Because the gathering will happen first and then you move into the community piece and if you look at post-COVID just church in general that's when we get the stat of , hey , a church member , a regularly attending church member means that you come once a month , which is wild , because pre-COVID that was like a regularly church member , it was three times a month , right , and so like we go two years of this weird yeah , just whatever you want to call that season , and so then then the stat is okay , a regularly attending church member means and that's somebody that would consider themselves involved in the church comes 1.6 times a month and what staff would consider their regular church member ?

Speaker 1

Yeah , and so if we're not gathering , we're definitely not going in a community .

Speaker 1

We're definitely not going to be in a community group and so you have to have both pieces . But the gathering has to come first , and so it's all about where you set in your priorities , and I'm not saying you get rid of all your extracurriculars . Sometimes people want to hear . When they hear us talking about , hey , this needs to be a priority , they automatically go to well , I can't have any fun . That's not what we're saying . We just are saying , hey , this needs to be a priority , because you're not going to move to the next piece if it's not .

Speaker 2

Okay , so let's talk and end up on priorities

Taking the First Step

Speaker 2

. And so one of the things that I desperately want for our church is for people to grow and mature in their relationship with Christ . There is nothing like following Jesus , there is nothing like a man or woman on fire for Christ , a family on fire for Christ , a church that is living out , and I mean that's what I want , and I believe that community groups is a part of fanning that flame . And so we've talked about some of the hindrances , some of the fears . What would you ask anybody listening or watching this podcast to do ? Like what is their next step ?

Speaker 2

Maybe they say , hey , I'm in a community group , but it's more like a Bible study , a lecture , a class I'm going to . I don't really have community . I mean , there's people I like , or man , I don't know that I have time . My kid plays ball on the weekends . I am part of that . I come twice a month , or maybe they go . I didn't have a great experience . Or I don't know that . I can add a Monday night or a Sunday morning or a Sunday night . What is the first step that you would say if we want to be a church that is on fire for the Lord Jesus who are living out , the Great Commission calling to proclaim the kingdom , our mission statement and the homes community in the world . What is the first step you would ask someone to take that other two-thirds of Concord , people that are not in a true community group relationship . What would you ask them to do ?

Speaker 1

I literally would just say try it . Okay , and I know that sounds really simple , but I think people just haven't taken that step yet . And this kind of goes back to any of these spiritual disciplines that we've talked about , of like , hey , bible intake , if you haven't done it yet , just try it . And so like , if you look at all of them , there's no downside to reading the Bible .

Speaker 1

There's no downside to any of these , really , and so my first thing would be to say hey , like , just try it , and be willing to like say hey , here's my name , here's how you can contact me . Can you put me in touch with someone who you think ? Because I mean , we have a staff member that is designated to help you find community , like . He is literally called the connections pastor , like David , that is his role here , and so when we think about just try it , and I think , yeah , just try it Right .

Speaker 2

Well , and I hope you guys hear that as we end , our time together is going . We do believe in the power of relationships and doing life in a very authentic and genuine way with other believers . It is great to have a mission field , it is great to have work and school friends , but there is something unique and powerful about doing life with other believers , especially those a step ahead that have been where you're going or those that are watching you , and I think it's just so important . And so church thanks so much for giving us time , and we believe that community groups are so important . We would love to help you get connected in the future , and next week we're going to take on another great conversation , hoping that you guys continue to mature and grow in your relationship with Christ . I got to tell you , aaron , this has been jet fuel . Yeah , it's been great . Thanks , all right .