Wake Up to Your Own Life

Last week, we talked about one of the biggest realizations of midlife: our days are numbered.

So now what?

Do we panic? Reinvent ourselves? Start checking off a bucket list?

In this Season 1 finale of Loving That Midlife, Lori explores a quieter—and ultimately more meaningful—response. Instead of asking, "What do I have to get done today?" what if midlife invites us to ask, "What am I faithfully building with the life I've been given?"

Through personal stories, timeless wisdom, and practical coaching, Lori shares why so many women spend years responding to everyone else's needs—and how midlife offers a beautiful opportunity to become intentional again.

In this episode, you'll discover:

• Why realizing your days are numbered can become a gift instead of a fear
• The difference between reacting to life and intentionally creating it
• How your childhood dreams may have been fulfilled in ways you never expected
• What cathedral builders can teach us about living a meaningful life
• Why faithful stewardship is more freeing than chasing purpose
• How ordinary, everyday choices become the foundation of a life well lived

You'll also hear encouragement from Micah 6:8, 1 Peter 4:10, and the beautiful image of planting an apple tree—even if you may never sit in its shade.

If you've been wondering what's next in this season of life, this episode is an invitation to stop living by default and begin living with greater intention, one faithful day at a time.

Because a meaningful life isn't something you find.

It's something you faithfully build.

This episode also marks the Season 1 finale of Loving That Midlife. Lori will be back in August with Season 2 and more conversations to help you navigate midlife with wisdom, hope, and purpose.

If you liked this episode, please share it with a friend!

And if you loved this episode, please rate the show and leave a review so others can find it, too.  

You can also follow me on my socials:

Instagram: @loribuckcoaching

Facebook: Lori Buck Coaching

Website: www.loribuckcoaching.com 

Email: lori@loribuckcoaching.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:04

Hello, friend, and welcome back to Loving That Midlife. I'm Lori Buck, Master Certified Christian Life Coach, and I'm so glad you're here. Before we jump into today's episode, I have one little announcement. This episode is episode 60, and I've decided to make it the last episode of season one of Loving That Midlife. It actually feels really weird for me to say that because in 60 episodes, I've never taken a single week off. But after a lot of thought, I've decided to take the next two weeks off to enjoy a much anticipated trip with my youngest, spend some time with my family, rest, dream a little, and plan what's ahead for the podcast. Then I'll be back the first week of August, starting with season two. And I already have some ideas for episodes that I'm really excited to share with you. And let me also say thank you for being here. Whether you've listened since episode one or you just found the podcast last week, I'm so grateful that you are part of this community. Okay, so let's jump into today's episode. Last week we talked about something that, if I'm honest, I've been thinking about for a while now. That memento mori. Remember that you will die. Or said another way, remember that your days are numbered. Not necessarily in a scary way, but more of a wake up call kind of way. More of a, this is the only life you get. So you need to wake up to it kind of way. And I ended that episode by saying that maybe the goal isn't to stop noticing that our days are numbered, but maybe the goal is to let that awareness that we now have teach us just how precious each day really is. And then I told you we would tackle the next obvious question this week. Once you wake up to the fact that your life is finite, what next? Because I don't think the answer is to panic. I don't even think it's to make a bucket list. And I definitely don't think it's to quit your job and move to the cotswalds, although that idea is certainly tempting to me. Instead, I actually think there's a quieter answer, a better one. And as I've been thinking about that question this week, I realize something. Just think about it. Do you remember when we were little? And everybody would ask us all the time, what do you want to be when you grow up? And honestly, I had a different answer every time someone asked me that question. And I don't think I've ever stopped asking it myself. It's kind of been a running joke in our marriage. What does Lori want to be when she grows up? Because Jeff, on the other hand, had one of those very straightforward stories. He was, I think, a senior in high school when he was trying to decide between engineering and architecture. And he looked at the pros and cons and he decided on engineering. He became an engineer. 30 years later, he is still an engineer. And he loves it. It is literally who God made him to be. I, on the other hand, don't have that kind of story. Mine is definitely uh more complicated, or one might say more interesting. But at different times in my childhood, I wanted to be a teacher. I would think, when I'm teaching this, I would do it this way. At another point, I wanted to be a successful and powerful businesswoman, whatever that meant to my third grade brain. And I know it was third grade because my third grade teacher gave us an exercise. We had to predict what we would be doing in the year 2000. I knew I would be 27. Being a powerful businesswoman sounded like a great idea. I think Fortune magazine had just had a woman on the cover that I had probably seen in the grocery store. And that looked really cool to me. Anyway, in high school, I wanted to be a professional public speaker. I've loved public speaking pretty much since I was in elementary school. And I got to college and I was told that's not a thing, which I thought funny. I've heard lots of professional public speakers at conferences over the last several years, but they told me that doesn't exist here. You'll have to major in public relations, and that's in the school of journalism. So I thought, okay, I'll just become a writer. During college, I thought about changing to become an English major because I was one of those weird people that took English lit classes for fun. And my mom begged me, please just get a degree and get out. It was going to add another year or two to my college journey. So I got my degree in journalism and got married right after that. And then I went back to school after a couple of years to get that English degree, but I decided I'd rather have a baby. Then we ended up having three. We decided to homeschool. Jeff traveled a lot for work. My days became based on everything that needed to happen, right? And so somewhere along the way, I stopped asking that question. What do I want to be when I grow up? Because I was too busy asking, what needs to get done today? And if you're like me and you've made that shift, you probably don't even remember that, right? It just happened. And I don't think that's a bad thing. That's what I was called to do in that season. I wasn't wasting my life. I was raising three precious children and being a good wife to my husband. And I was loving my family, loving the neighbors that God had placed directly in front of me. I wouldn't trade those years for anything. But here's what's interesting. As I've looked back over the last few years, I realized something that is very sweet to me. And I feel like it was the Lord's doing because I actually became so many of those things that I dreamed about. I was a teacher, just not in the classroom. I own a business. I coach women every week. I get to speak through this podcast and at women's retreats. I get to write. Those dreams didn't disappear. They just took a different path than I had imagined they would. And maybe that's one of the gifts that we get in midlife. We finally have enough perspective on life to be able to look back and see the story that God was writing for us that we couldn't see while we were living it. But here's what's changed for me recently. I've started asking that question again. Not because I regret the years that are behind me, but because, Lord willing, I still have decades ahead of me. So what do I want to do now? And I wonder if that's really part of this realizing that our days are numbered. I think maybe that wisdom that scripture talks about is this realization and what we're supposed to do. It's not to make us afraid, not to make us frantic, but simply remind us that we just have this one beautiful life to live. And our days are finite. So we need to get busy living it. And I think that's where so many women get stuck. We've become incredibly good at responding to life. We respond to our children, we respond to work, we respond to aging parents, to church commitments, to calendars, to our spouse, to everyone else's needs. And before we know it, we're no longer intentionally creating our lives. We're just reacting to them. And listen, that is not because we've failed, it's because we've been faithful. But maybe midlife is the time we get to begin asking a different question. Not what has to be done today, but more like a prayer. Lord, what would you have me faithfully do today? What would you have me faithfully build today? Maybe the key to waking up to life again is realizing you don't have to reinvent your entire life. You simply have to become intentional about how you live it. So let me ask a seemingly unrelated question. Have you ever visited a cathedral in Europe? I've had the privilege of visiting several. Several in Italy, one in Switzerland, one in England. And I can say without a doubt, they are awe-inspiring. Standing in a cathedral looking up literally inspires awe. I feel it in my entire body. And honestly, it feels like this is the place where we should worship the God of the universe. If you've never been to one, I encourage you to go. But long before I was able to visit a cathedral, I was reading about them and about how they were built. Can you imagine working for decades on one building that you knew would never be completed in your lifetime? Stone after stone, day after day, year after year. Most of those craftsmen knew they would never walk through the finished cathedral. But this did not deter them. Instead, they taught their sons their craft. And they eventually taught their sons and on and on, generation after generation, worked on the same project. And I don't know about you, but I've always found something deeply beautiful about that. They weren't chasing quick results or quick dopamine hits like we do. They also weren't building something just so people would remember their names because hundreds of years later, no one does. They were simply doing faithful work day after day. And I wonder if that's a better picture of midlife than trying to reinvent ourselves. What if this season isn't about starting over? What if it's about asking ourselves, what good work is there for me to do today? And that question reminds me of two passages of scripture that I think we should use to put that into context. Micah 6, 8 says, He has shown you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you to act justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God. I love that verse because it it boils down what the important things are. There's no flash to it. There's no pressure to become extraordinary or no pressure to do great things. It's just the quiet invitation to live faithfully as God would have us live. And Peter says something similar in First Peter 4 10, that each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others as faithful stewards of God's grace. Faithful stewardship. Not pressure, not performance, not comparing yourself to the neighbor next door, but just faithfully using the gifts that God has already given to you. And honestly, I find that incredibly relieving. Because I don't have to become someone else. I don't have to come up with some grand purpose for the rest of my life. I simply have to become more faithful with the life and the gifts God has already given me. I am free to choose how I want to love and serve my neighbor and how I want to use the gifts, the aptitudes, even the special interest I have that God has given me. And there's one more quote I want to mention. This is a quote that's often attributed to Martin Luther that says, even if I knew tomorrow the world would come to an end, I would still plant my apple tree today. Now, whether Luther actually said those words or not, doesn't matter. I just love that picture. We don't know what tomorrow holds. Only God does. But we can still act faithfully today, knowing that our future is in his hands. Plant the tree, friend, teach the child, love your spouse, call your friends, read the book, take a walk, write in your journal, serve your neighbor, say the prayer, have the hard conversation, encourage someone, learn a new skill, start the business, volunteer at church, not because you're trying to squeeze every last drop out of life. Although sometimes we do want to do that, and that's a good thing too. But do these things because this ordinary Tuesday is your life, and it's the one and only wild and precious life that you get. I think I assume for years that purpose would feel big and important. But from reading scripture and just from the years that I've lived on the planet, I've realized that purpose actually feels pretty ordinary. It's choosing over and over again to faithfully tend the life God has entrusted to us. Not perfectly, but just intentionally. And friend, if you've realized over these past few episodes that somewhere along the way you've stopped intentionally creating your life and just started reacting to it, coaching can help. It's where we do that work. Together we learn how to notice the thoughts that are keeping you stuck, figure out what matters most in this season of your life, and begin creating your life on purpose, for a purpose. Not by becoming someone else, but by faithfully stewarding the life God has already given you. If you're interested in coaching with me, you can find out more on my website, lauriebuckcoaching.com, or you can find me on Facebook or Instagram at LaurieBuckcoaching. I'd love to connect with you there. So, what's mid about the midlife this week? Well, procrastination. That's what. But let's be real. If you know me in real life, you know I have always struggled with procrastination. I have theories, I think it's tangled up with perfectionism, my undiagnosed ADHD brain, and a healthy dose of demand avoidance. If my brain thinks I can't do something perfectly, it would just rather not start. And if I know I have to do something, I suddenly don't want to do it at all. Even if it's something I actually want to do, which is so weird. It's wild in here in my brain. And for years, I could get away with putting things off because a hard deadline would hit, my adrenaline would kick in, and somehow I would pull it all together at the last minute. But listen, midlife has made that strategy a lot less effective. That cortisol, I'm kind of shot with the cortisol. I've had too much. And I just can't keep relying on all nighters and panic to carry me through. I do not have the hormone support for that. Throw in brain fog, and nothing is moving quickly around here anymore. Right now, I'm getting ready to leave for London in a couple days to meet up with my youngest daughter when she finishes her study abroad. I've already mentioned that in a past episode. And I've also said I'm both excited and a little bit nervous about it. And that nervousness has shown up in very familiar ways. It's kept me from packing in a what my husband would consider a timely manner. It's kept me from refilling a prescription I need before I leave. It's even kept me from getting a skirt hemmed that I really want to wear while I'm there, but it drags the ground. So I can't. And here's the thing: none of those things I've needed to do are hard, really. But my brain can make even the simplest things feel heavy when I'm anxious. And here is what I have finally learned about procrastination 53 years into this life. Procrastination doesn't just steal time and money, it steals your peace. It keeps me reacting instead of preparing and being intentional. And when I've been able to get myself to get ready slowly, a few days at a time, it changes everything. I picked ahead of time for our vacation in May, and it felt amazing. I wasn't scrambling, I wasn't stressed out, I didn't have this low-level anxiety that I was carrying around. I was simply taking care of my future self. And that is a lesson I want to remember here in midlife. I don't have to do everything perfectly. In fact, even if I tried, I couldn't do it perfectly. I know that in my logical brain. But what I want to do is just learn to do the next faithful thing today. Packing early, refilling the prescription in a timely manner, getting the skirt hemmed. Those are all small things. But they're also a way of me planting that apple tree today, doing something for future Lori. That's what intentional living looks like in my real life. So after this recording, I'm off to my room to back a couple of days before I leave. And then I'm calling the pharmacy again to see if they have the prescription in that I need to pick up. And if this episode encouraged you, or if this podcast has encouraged you in the past, would you please take a minute to follow and leave a rating and a review? And also share it with a friend you think could use it. That is one of the very best ways to help other women find this podcast. And until next month, take good care of yourself. And remember, your life doesn't have to be extraordinary to be meaningful. One faithful choice at a time is enough. I can't wait.