Episode 265: A Wedding Boundary That Created An Ultimatum-Turned-Standoff And How To Process It All

GET 10% OFF AT ATTITUDE WITH THIS LINK: https://ca.attitudeliving.com/?sca_ref=9678849.BWQNoQno3Q&utm_source=uppromote&utm_medium=affiliates&utm_campaign=ambassador

Hello hello hello!

Thank you all so so much for listening to this frustrating episode of Advice 4 The Living due to the selfishness of those involved who can’t respect boundaries! 

My heart aches for anyone else who’s ever been given an ultimatum in which someone is trying to manipulate you and bulldoze a boundary that you’re trying to set, and I’m sending my deepest love and  encouragement to you.  I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through or are continuing to  go through, and I hope you find solace, peace and comfort in knowing you’re not alone.  

For everyone listening — regardless of if you can relate or not — I hope you can at least take away something that stood out to you or a tidbit of something to think about!

Also, I want to reiterate my appreciation for everything you do to interact with this podcast. While downloads are the most helpful (especially if the video has an ad), I truly  appreciate all of it.  From you liking/favouriting/saving the podcast itself or specific episodes that resonate with/stand out to you, to sharing it (either on or off-line/by word of mouth), to when you give it a rating/review on the app you’re tuning in from, and even when you just simply listen.  It really helps propel this podcast forward in the algorithm so that more people can join our ever-growing community movement of difference-makers, world-changers, and those who genuinely care about our fellow humans who are struggling with an invisible burden, even if we don’t share the same opinions/beliefs.  There’s always mutual support and respect and it’s so humbling and beautiful to be a part of!

I also really appreciate all of your email submissions, because without them…this podcast wouldn’t exist.  So if you have a topic/subject matter, circumstance or problem/issue/dilemma that you want me to share my thoughts, perspective, advice and opinions on and discussed in an episode, please don’t hesitate to email me at advice4theliving@gmail.com and I check my messages constantly so stay tuned because you’ll never know when your submission will be next!

Thank you all once again for everything, and I can’t wait to catch you in the next one!  Bye folks!

PS. I am so sorry if there is an ad on this video, I know how annoying they are… But if you download an episode, where an ad is playing, I do get a bit of a kickback so thank you all so much for understanding and being patient with me. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello, hello, hello. Welcome to or welcome back to Advice for the Living from Someone Who Only Kind of Is. My name is Kayla. Thank you so much for being here for this episode. I really appreciate having you. Thank you for your continued patience with kind of these episodes not coming out as quickly as they used to. I'm doing my best and hopefully you know we can keep going and have you stick along as you have. So thank you so much for being patient and understanding. I really appreciate it. Um in case you're new here, and just a reminder, if you aren't, I just wanted to let you know or remind you that I am an incredibly proud brand ambassador for an amazing vegan, cruelty-free, and Canadian company called Attitude in All Cab Flocks. And before I say anything else about that or being associated with a brand, I just want to reassure you that I would never in a million years endorse or promote any products or businesses that I don't actually like or use myself. And to be fully transparent, I think people who do that are despicable. Like it is extremely unethical, it's immoral, and it's dishonest. And no amount of money will ever cause me to go against my own morals and values. So even though I 100% see us as equals, the reality is that we've built this relationship on sincerity and honesty and trust. You come to me for my genuine thoughts and opinions on things, and it would be flat out wrong of me to take advantage of that. Like I know how brutal the economy is right now. I would not be able to live with myself or sleep at night if I was encouraging you to spend your hard-earned money on junk and garbage. So, like I was saying, the company is called Attitude, all caps locks. They are 100% cruelty-free and vegan. And they're made here in Canada using sustainable and ethical ingredients, as well as having great ethical business practices. They focus on creating products that are not just better for your body and for your health, but also for the planet by using fresh, natural, sustainable, eco-friendly green ingredients. And even their product packaging focuses on also being recyclable, biodegradable, and reusable as well. And my personal favorite feature is that when you check out on the website, it tells you how many trees were planted as a result of your purchase, which is like my all-time favorite feature. It's so exciting. They have such a wide variety of products, and if I started listing everything, I'd be here forever. Um, but they they range from makeup, skincare, to toothpaste, to deodorant, lotion, sunscreen, moisturizer, like every type of soap you can think of. We're talking bar soap, uh gel soap, foam soap, shower soap, dish soap, all the soaps. They have shower gels, shampoos and conditioners, bubble bath, hand sanitizer, household cleaning supplies, pet cleaning supplies, and their newest product line is of diapers, baby wipes, and diaper rash cream as well. And with our partnership, they were so generous, and they've given me the amazing opportunity to have an affiliate link just for my listeners that I will put in the description of this episode. And if you shop through that link, you get 10% off your entire purchase, and I also receive a bit of commission. Um, and as an added bonus, every time you make a purchase using that link, you will get the discount. It's not only like a one-time use kind of deal. So, you know, whether you've been looking to treat yourself or stock up on essentials, or maybe you're just feeling ready to make that switch from more chemical heavy and unethical companies into something more eco-friendly, sustainable, and made by a fully transparent company when it comes to the ethics involved. Like I highly encourage you guys to check them out. So, once again, uh that link will be in the description of this episode, and I hope that you guys can also find some new favorites as well. And I'm so sorry if it sounds like I'm just trying to sell you something. I know that can be really frustrating, but I'm genuinely so passionate about this company and I love them so much. And to ease your mind even more, I was the one that started off as a customer. I tried their deodorant first, that was my first product, and it is phenomenal. It smells lovely, it worked perfectly, it glides on so nicely, and so I went ahead and looked into the company and I saw all of the great things they were doing in terms of you know sustainably sourcing their things and paying fair wages and all of the great stuff that they are doing for our environment as well. I wanted to support a business like that with my dollar to show other companies that yeah, you guys need to step it up and do what they're doing. Um, so I wanted to support them with my dollar. So I went ahead and every time I had an item to that I needed to purchase that they sold, I bought it from them. And so I've tried their moisturizer, I've tried lip products, I've tried their mascara, I've tried household supplies, like cleaning supplies. Honestly, we've loved every single thing we've tried within my family, and everyone that I know that's ever tried their items has loved them. Um, and so I was actually the one that reached out to them, and I told them a little bit about myself, about this podcast, and about the incredibly beautiful community that we've created together, and I sent it off. And to be honest with you, I almost forgot about it the second I sent it off because this company is huge. I mean, I've been hearing that it's now in the health section of like supermarkets and drugstores. Like, this is a big company, and I wasn't expecting to hear anything back, and I thought even if I did get something back, it would probably be like a copied and pasted, generic, like thanks, but we're not interested kind of deal. So when I did get an email from them with that in mind, you can probably just imagine how elated and excited I was that such an amazing and well-known brand offered to work with me. And like I just could not be more grateful. I'm 100% bedbound, but metaphorically, I was bouncing off the walls. I am just so beyond grateful for the support of this huge, amazing, successful company, and it will forever just be such an honor for a company like that to support our community and the space that we've created that emphasizes kindness and human connection, and I truly could not be more grateful. Speaking of grateful, thank you all once again for everything that you do to interact with this podcast. Downloads are by far the most helpful thing you can possibly do for me, particularly if there's an ad on the video. And I'm so sorry because I know ads suck and they're frustrating and you can't skip them and they're irritating, and I get it. Um, ads are only up anywhere from a couple hours to a maximum of a couple days, and then they disappear. But if an episode of mine has an ad on it and you download that episode, you don't have to do a single thing at all with the ad. I do receive a very small kickback. And when I say very small, I'm talking like pennies. And you might be thinking, pennies, Kayla, really pennies? You're selling us out and making us listen to these irritating interruptions for pennies? And I hear you, um, it still doesn't feel real saying it out loud, but there is over a hundred and twelve thousand of us right now, and it really does add up and it really does help. Um, you know, and if you've been looking for a way to support this podcast financially and don't have another way to do so, by downloading an episode with an ad, you're putting money directly back into this podcast. So I know I've talked a lot about money here at the beginning, and I'm sorry about that, but I do want to be completely honest and upfront with you. Um, I pay for this podcast out of pocket, and it is extremely expensive to upkeep. It really is. I'm on 17 different streaming platforms, and humble brag, I have five stars on all of them. So thank you so much to anyone who has left positive reviews or ratings, like it means the world to me. Um, and you know, at the same time, I'm also like that that's a lot of money and to keep that going. And I'm a person who's on disability, end of life, hospice care. I literally can't even afford my own medications. And while I'll continue to make this podcast a priority because it has given me a new purpose and a new motivation and a community that I love, it is a huge financial burden monthly to try to pay for it. And so at the beginning of every month, I set aside the cost that it will be for the monthly fee. And anytime I get an attitude commission or ad revenue, then I can take money off of the pile that I set aside for the podcast and use it for other things in my life, like being able to pay for more of my medications and things like that. So it really is such a blessing for me because I am on such a tight budget and income, and all of that revenue, whether it's ad revenue, whether it's commissions, it all goes right back into this podcast. So I really do appreciate it. And um even if the episode doesn't have an ad, downloads are just super helpful in general, and they could potentially be helpful for you as well. Um, because typically when you download an episode, it then means that you can listen to it even if you don't have access to Wi-Fi or data or internet or whatever. So, some scenarios that might be handy. Maybe you're going on a long car ride or a road trip, maybe you're going hiking or camping, or you're just in a more rural, wooded, secluded area where the service is really shoddy and spotty. Um, maybe you're waiting in an impossibly long line. Maybe you have a meeting with someone and they're running late. Oh, and the classic, I think all of us have been in this situation before. It's typically with a medical professional and you show up to your appointment, maybe even a little bit early, you show up now. Oh, Dr. So-and-so is about seven patients behind right now, so you're gonna have to wait a little while. And in that situation, now you don't have to scramble trying to find Wi-Fi or use data, you have a podcast downloaded. Um, but even if you don't foresee yourself in any of the situations I listed, please download anyway. It really does help. And what also helps, and I'm so grateful for, is for all of you that have shared this podcast, whether it's been online through social media or in person with other people that you feel might also enjoy or benefit from these episodes. It truly is so humbling and mind-boggling to me that you guys not only tolerate what I have to say, but you look forward to it, you seek it out, you want it, you want to hear the episodes, and you want to share it with other people in your life so you can talk about the episodes together. I don't think it'll ever stop being cool and incredible and amazing. And when I started this podcast, I could never in a million years imagine it would take off the way that it has, and I couldn't have gotten here without you, and I'm so grateful. And the bigger our community gets, and the more that we do things like downloading episodes, it tells the algorithm to push advice for the living even further forward so that even more people can find our super special community, which I mean, I don't need to tell you how special it is, you're already here, but we may not all share the exact same opinions or beliefs on things, but we have this mutual respect for one another and the genuine desire for the well-being of our fellow humans, whether that's strangers, neighbors, family members, friends, or someone somewhere in between. You know, honestly, kindness can change the world, and I think that human connection is the key to progress, and I'm just so proud of the community that we've built where you know it's a non-judgmental space and nothing is off limits, and people can talk about those hard subjects, um, knowing that we will handle it respectfully, whether we have a differing opinion or not, um, and where people feel like they can be open about what they're dealing with without being mocked or ridiculed. All of those were goals I had when I started this podcast, but I couldn't have done it without this community making it what it is. I hope you're proud of this community because I sure am. Now I'm gonna hop right into the email. I've been rambling long enough. Hi Kayla. I'm writing this feeling more hurt than angry, which honestly makes it worse. My name is Nikos. I come from a very large, very traditional Greek family. I'm the only boy, five older sisters Elena, Sophia, Maria, Katarina, and Demetra. Growing up, everything revolved around family. Big Sunday dinners, name days, holidays that required at least three lambs and two arguments, weddings in our culture are not small casual events. They are sacred, symbolic, loud, emotional, and deeply rooted in tradition. And that's exactly why this is tearing me apart. I'm engaged to Erin. She's Irish, calm where we are loud, steady where we're dramatic. We are very aligned on one major thing. We are not kid people at all. We don't hate children, we just know ourselves. The constant noise, the screeching, the crying, the sticky hands, the inability to sit still for more than three seconds, it overwhelms both of us. We tolerate kids in small doses. We go to birthday parties, we smile, we do our uncle and aunt duty, but after a couple of hours we're drained, and we both know we don't want children in our future. So when we started planning our wedding, one thing was clear from the beginning. We wanted an adult only wedding. Calm, intentional, peaceful, a ceremony where people are actually listening instead of shushing a toddler mid-vow. A reception where Erin doesn't have to worry about juice boxes being spilled on her dress or a meltdown during our first dance. It wasn't even a debate between us. The problem is my sisters have sixteen children between them. Sixteen. The youngest is about a year and a half, the oldest is ten. And apparently this decision has now become a declaration of war. They are furious. I've heard they adore you, Nikos, this will crush them. So you're punishing your nieces and nephews? What kind of uncle doesn't want his own family at his wedding? This isn't how Greek families do things. Do you know what people will say? They keep insisting their kids are quote well behaved. And sure, sometimes they are, but they're still children. Children get bored, children get loud, children get sticky, children interrupt sacred moments because they're children. And Aaron and I just don't want that at our wedding. Now the threats have started. They're saying if their kids can't come, they won't come either. All five of them, and their husbands, which means half of my immediate family missing from my wedding. And in a Greek wedding, that won't go unnoticed. It won't be subtle, it will be whispered about. People will speculate. Instead of the focus being on the vows Aaron and I are taking, this sacred life-changing commitment, the focus will be on the empty seats on my side and why my own sisters aren't there. That's what hurts the most. I have shown up for all of them. Every baptism, every birthday, every chaotic backyard party, where I've had juice thrown at me and wiped cake frosting off my shirt. I never complained. I supported their marriages, I embraced their spouses, I held their babies, and now when I'm asking for one boundary, just one day that reflects who Erin and I are, it feels like I'm being told that my relationship matters less than their convenience. My parents have said that they want to quote, stay out of it, and that this is an issue between me and my sisters to figure out on our own. So they've really not been any help whatsoever. Erin even offered to cave. She said maybe we should just allow the kids to keep the peace. She said she doesn't want me want to be the reason my sisters don't show up. And that broke me because this isn't her battle. This is my family, and I will not allow them to bulldoze her into sacrificing the wedding she dreamed of just to avoid their tantrums. I refuse to let them treat her like she's the outsider who has to bend to quote how we do things. At this point, I'm questioning something I never thought I would. Do they actually respect me or do they just expect me to fall in line because that's what I've always done? I'm overwhelmed, I'm frustrated, but mostly I'm hurt. How do I stand firm without detonating my entire family? And how do I accept that they might really choose to miss my wedding over this? Nikos. I want to start by saying something that you may not have heard clearly from you know anyone in your life yet, which is that you are not wrong. You're not selfish, and you're not betraying your family. You're doing something much harder than you know going along with tradition. You're defining your own life, and the wedding of both your bride and yourself's dreams does not involve children. There is a quiet but very real difference between a family that loves you and a family that expects access to you, if that makes sense. You know, love respects your boundaries and entitlement challenges them. Right now, your sisters are not reacting to harm in any way. You haven't done anything harmful. They're reacting to the removal of automatic inclusion, I guess, of their kids. And those are not the same thing. Your wedding is not some kind of public festival, okay? It's not a family reunion, it's not a child care inclusive community gathering, it's a sacred vow between you and Aaron. You know, it's the day that both of you stand up and say in front of witnesses that this is the person that I'm choosing for the rest of my life. And the witnesses are there to support the vow, not to reshape it, you know, and the most important thing that I want to make clear is this caving will not create peace, it will create what's a good word, um precedent, you know, because if you surrender on something this foundational that is so important to you, the message is going to be clear to them, you know, that your marriage can be negotiated by them throwing a temper tantrum or whining and complaining enough. You know, that errand can be negotiated by throwing um a temper tantrum and complaining enough, and that your boundaries exist only until someone applies enough pressure and then it breaks your boundaries. You know, so when you um cave, it's telling them that their behavior and their temper tantrum and their childish behavior can make you guys be manipulated. To do what they want. And you really need to put your foot down now and say you don't have any control or say in our marriage and how we choose to live. And um, you know, that's up to you to take it or leave it, but we are not accepting that. We're not gonna change our dream wedding to fit what you think it should look like. Um, you know, and you're not just protecting your wedding, you're protecting the foundation of your marriage. You know, like your instinct to shield Erin from being bulldozed by your family is exactly what being a husband is. You're already stepping into your role, you know, before the ceremony even happens. And I want to kind of give you some tools to do this with clarity and some dignity. So, um, first of all, like you asked, um, there's a letter that you can send to your sisters. Um, again, this is just kind of a guideline, so feel free to edit it in any way. Use what you like, omit what you don't, or don't use it at all. There's no hard feelings there. So this is a letter that I had written up. Uh, I'll email it to you as well, that you could send to your sisters. My dear sisters, I want to speak to you honestly, not as the only brother in the family, but as someone who has loved you his entire life. My wedding day is one of the most important days I will ever experience. Erin and I have made the decision to have an adult only wedding. This was not a decision made lightly, and it was not made to exclude or hurt anyone. It was made to create the kind of ceremony and environment that reflects who we are as a couple. I understand that you love your children deeply. I love them too. Being their uncle has been one of the greatest privileges of my life. But this boundary is not a rejection of them. It is a reflection of the kind of wedding Aaron and I are choosing to have. What hurts me is not disagreement, it's the possibility that you might not be there at all. You are my sisters. You help shape who I am. Having you present when I take this step into my future would mean more to me than I can properly express in words. I'm not asking you to change your feelings. I'm only asking you to understand that this decision is final and that it comes from a place of intention, not exclusion. I love you all and I hope with all my heart that you will stand beside me on that day. Not because everything is exactly how you would choose it, but because I am your brother and this is one of the most important moments of my life. With love, Nikos. Um I think that letter, the way that I wrote it, um, is really special. You're telling them this is not us just excluding your kids and picking specifically you out and saying your kids aren't allowed. You're saying no children are allowed. Not not just their kids aren't allowed, no children are allowed at the wedding. And and rightfully so. I mean, the the things that you listed about, you know, the sticky hands and they can't sit still, and you know, people will be chasing them and shushing them, and they, you know, are make a disruption, and the focus does people do get distracted when there's kids around that are running around or you know, getting worked up or being loud. It takes the focus away from you, just as you c you know described and and wrote earlier. Um, and I totally see why you want an adult-only wedding. I too am the kind of person that can only handle children in doses. I'm very lucky that I have a nephew who is absolutely the most incredible little boy, and I love him with all my heart. Even still, I don't have the energy to keep up with him for a super long period of time. Um, and I definitely relate to not really being a kid person in terms of the you know, the sticky hands and the loud noises and the screeching and the screaming and the running around and the yelling and the can't sit still and the needing to sh have your attention at all times. Like I totally get that, and I wouldn't want children at my wedding either. I'll never have one, but I'm just saying. Um but a wedding invitation is an invitation, it's not a summons, um, and their attendance is a choice, but your boundary that you put up is not up for negotiation. If they come, they come as people who chose you. And if they don't, they will have to live with the knowledge that they missed their brother's wedding, not because they weren't welcome, but because they refused to accept the terms of love that that day required that you set forth. You know, you are not breaking your family by standing firm, you're revealing who in your family is willing to grow alongside you or make arrangements um, you know, for their children and make other plans for their children because they care enough about you that they will be there regardless of it's how they would have done it or not. If they want a million children at their wedding, if they've already had them and they had a million children, or if they're gonna have them in the future, that's up to them. But it's also up to you to choose not to have that. And um by having a family member say, I'm gonna go along with what they want, that's them putting you guys first. And by them saying, No, I refuse to look for other options, and if my kid can't come, I'm not coming. That tells you a lot about them and about how much they care about you in this day in your life. And I think um, you know, no matter what happens, the most important thing kind of remains unchanged, which is that you and Erin will still be standing there together, regardless of who's in the audience. The two of you will still have that sacred moment together, and nobody can take that away from you. Um, you know, actually, to be honest with you, now that I'm talking about this and I've I've been talking for a while, it didn't even cross my mind. But I want us to be prepared for any possible outcome, and I literally just thought of like what could be a worst case scenario, but like, okay, I don't know your sisters or your family well enough to know how far they would take things, but worst case scenario, they show up to your wedding with kids in tow. Here's what would have to happen. You can you can um assign a friend or an a family member of some kind to be checking tickets or helping people find their like designated seating and stuff like that, and they have to just flat out refuse to allow them in. That being said, I can only imagine just how devastated the kids would actually be if your sisters got them all dressed up and brought them all the way there for the wedding, um, and then they were told that they couldn't go in. But that is not on you or Erin, that is on your sisters and their spouses for disrespecting your boundaries and hindering the happiness and excitement on your special day. So, like I said, that is the absolutely worst case, and I'm hoping that something like that would never ever happen. But that being said, if it does, you are not the ones who would be breaking those kids' hearts or letting them down. That would be their parents doing, and it would be crushing if the sisters are so vindictive that they talk poorly about you to their children and impact, you know, the positive relationships that you had with those kiddos. But, you know, again, you cannot accept guilt or blame for the wrongdoings of the adults involved. So I really hope that doesn't happen. I hope they don't show up with kids or talk to the kids about, oh, Uncle Nikos doesn't want you at his wedding because he doesn't love you anymore. You know, I don't know your family well enough, but I do know some families where they do behave that way and say things like that, and I pray that's not the case. But that being said, now that I've said all that, we have kind of a plan in place for if that were to happen. You know, we've got somebody checking tickets or helping people find seats that can not be you guys and turn them away if they were to show up um with the kids um without you having to do so. And you know, finally, I kind I understand that your parents want to like stay out of it, but this is one of those times where I think that having their support on your side would make a world of difference. So it might be worth approaching them and just like filling them in on what's been happening. Like, I don't know to what extent they know what has been said and the hurt that comes with it, but like specifically asking them to have words with your sister and their partners, like urging them to just let it go for just this once in a you know, for this lifetime once in a lifetime beautiful moment and memory for you and Aaron. Um, I think if your parents can maybe get a little bit more involved and be on your side and tell your sisters, you know, this is his special day, this is big for him and Aaron, and we should be respectful of their wishes. I would hope your parents would would be willing to do that. So it might be worth reaching out to them. This whole situation is so sad to have people threaten to not be there simply because you won't allow their young children, I think is so sad. And the image in my head of seeing, you know, the bride's side and the groom's side chairs, and on the groom's side, there's all these gaps for the sisters and their spouses where they're not there, whereas Aaron's side is full, and I I can imagine that in my head and how hurtful that would be, and how people would be whispering and talking and bringing it up. Um, so another, you know, potential thing is if your sisters definitively tell you we are not coming, period, we will not be there. Um, it might be worth, and this is this is up to you, this is not you know, anything, but it might be worth messaging your other family members, like just other people on that side of the family, and letting them know, hey guys, I just want to let you know in advance that you know, due to um personal differences, my sisters and their spouses will not be attending the wedding, but we're still so excited to have you there to celebrate with us, and we look forward to seeing your faces in the audience or something like that. You know, I just that was just right off the top of my head, I didn't even prepare that one. Um, but maybe writing something like that. Um, so then that way it's not a shock on the day of. You've now given advance warning that they're not gonna be there, so the whispering can happen in advance of everybody, you know, wanting to get to the bottom of it, but on the day of, it's not the topic of conversation you are. So, but that's only if they definitively before the wedding say, absolutely not, we won't be there, and you know for sure. And you don't have to send anything to family at all, but it might be helpful to say that they won't be there in advance just to kind of have the that whole elephant in the room addressed prior to the day of. I think those are all the tips and things or everything that I really have to say on this matter. Thank you for writing in. Um, I'm so sorry that you're dealing with family members who are being this selfish. If anyone listening has been in a similar situation where just in general, family members are giving ultimatums um regarding boundaries that you set. I'm really sorry that you have to deal with that. And I hope that you're able to stand firm with those boundaries and not allow those family members to bulldoze over over you. And uh I hope that you don't allow them to let you be a pushover or a doormat. I hope you can stand firm on your boundaries, and to anybody who is trying to um you know override that, we can kind of put our foot down and say, This is a boundary, and we will not allow you to cross it. Um because I just it's so sad to think about. Um with that being said, though, I really don't think I have much more to say about this. So I will go ahead and um just say thank you so much for listening. If I've done an episode for you already, um I would absolutely love, and I'm sure the listeners would love as well, an update on how you've been doing since that episode aired. Um I'd love to know how things are, uh, what's changed, what has stayed the same. Have things gotten better? Have they unfortunately gotten worse? I mean, if so, I'd love to provide any more help or insight that I can. Um, I'd just love to hear from you and what's going on now, and I'm sure everyone listening would too as well, because you know, after these episodes, we always wonder like what happened after. So I would love an update. And just in general, if you've been on the fence about whether to send an email or not, please do if you want any names or details changed to protect your privacy or your anonymity. I'm more than happy to do so. But I absolutely love to see a full inbox. Right now it's pretty full because I got a little backed up with my hiatus, but I absolutely love seeing a full inbox because let's face it, without your emails, I would have nothing to respond or react to. Therefore, there would be no episode, therefore no podcast, so I really can't do it without you. Um, and my email address is all lowercase advice the number 4theliving at gmail.com. That's advice the number 4theliving at gmail.com all lowercase. And I check those emails constantly so you can be rest assured. If you send an email, you will be getting an episode out of it. So stay tuned because you never know when your episode will be next. And with all of that being said, thank you all once again for listening, for being here. I will put the link in the description of this episode for you to get 10% off your entire purchase at attitude. Um, and I cannot wait to catch you in the next one. Bye, folks.