Episode 266: An Irresponsible/Neglectful/Dramatic Dog Owner Who’s Behaviour Created A Situation Culminating In A Moral Dilemma

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Hello hello hello!

Thank you all so so much for listening to this episode of Advice 4 The Living in which one woman’s theatrics and lack of care for her dog, resulted in chaos, trauma, and a moral dilemma regarding how to proceed! 

My heart aches for anyone else who’s ever had to make a decision where no option is without some level of hurt/difficulty, and I’m sending my deepest love and  encouragement to you.  I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through or are continuing to  go through, and I hope you find solace, peace and comfort in knowing you’re not alone.  

For everyone listening — regardless of if you can relate or not — I hope you can at least take away something that stood out to you or a tidbit of something to think about!

Also, I want to reiterate my appreciation for everything you do to interact with this podcast. While downloads are the most helpful (especially if the video has an ad), I truly  appreciate all of it.  From you liking/favouriting/saving the podcast itself or specific episodes that resonate with/stand out to you, to sharing it (either on or off-line/by word of mouth), to when you give it a rating/review on the app you’re tuning in from, and even when you just simply listen.  It really helps propel this podcast forward in the algorithm so that more people can join our ever-growing community movement of difference-makers, world-changers, and those who genuinely care about our fellow humans who are struggling with an invisible burden, even if we don’t share the same opinions/beliefs.  There’s always mutual support and respect and it’s so humbling and beautiful to be a part of!

I also really appreciate all of your email submissions, because without them…this podcast wouldn’t exist.  So if you have a topic/subject matter, circumstance or problem/issue/dilemma that you want me to share my thoughts, perspective, advice and opinions on and discussed in an episode, please don’t hesitate to email me at advice4theliving@gmail.com and I check my messages constantly so stay tuned because you’ll never know when your submission will be next!

Thank you all once again for everything, and I can’t wait to catch you in the next one!  Bye folks!

PS. I am so sorry if there is an ad on this video, I know how annoying they are… But if you download an episode, where an ad is playing, I do get a bit of a kickback so thank you all so much for understanding and being patient with me. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Hello, hello, hello. Welcome to or welcome back to Advice for the Living from Someone Who only kind of is. My name is Kayla. Thank you so much for tuning into this episode and for being here with me today. Um, I really appreciate each and every one of you and the patience that you've had with me and your understanding. Um, when the episodes take a while to come out, um you know, health is so unpredictable. And as much as my goal, if I could, I'd love to just record all day, every day. My body doesn't always allow that. So I really appreciate you guys understanding that and and having patience with me. Thank you so much for that. Also, in case you're new here, and a reminder if you aren't, I just wanted to let you know or remind you that I am an incredibly proud brand ambassador for this amazing vegan, cruelty-free, and Canadian company called Attitude in All Caps Locks. And before I say anything else about that or about working with a brand or whatever, I just want to reassure you that I would never ever ever endorse or promote any products or businesses that I don't actually like or use myself. And to be fully transparent, I think people who do that are despicable. It is extremely unethical, it's immoral, and it's dishonest. And no amount of money will ever cause me to go against my own morals and values. So even though I 100% see us as equals, the reality is that we've built this relationship on sincerity and honesty and trust. And you come to me for my genuine thoughts and opinions on things. So it would be flat out wrong of me to take advantage of that. I know how brutal the economy is right now, and I literally would not be able to live with myself or sleep at night if I was encouraging you to spend your hard-earned money on junk and garbage. So absolutely not. Like I was saying, the company is called Attitude, all caps locks, and they are 100% cruelty-free and vegan. They're made here in Canada using sustainable and ethical ingredients and ethical business practices, and they really focus on creating products that are not just better for your body and for your health, but also for the planet by using fresh, natural, sustainable, and eco-friendly ingredients. Um, and even their product packaging focuses on being recyclable, biodegradable, and reusable as well. They also have my favorite feature of all that upon checkout, it tells you how many trees were planted as a result of your purchase, which is so exciting. So, like when you click that checkout button, it tells you blank amount of trees were planted as a result of your purchase. And that's my favorite feature. I love it so much. Um, and they have such a wide variety of things that if I just started listing, I would be here forever. But their products range from makeup to skincare to toothpaste, um, deodorant, lotion, sunscreen, moisturizer, every type of soap you can think of. We're talking bar soap, gel soap, foam soap, shower soap, dish soap, um, all the soaps. They've got shower gel, shampoos and conditioners, bubble bath, hand sanitizer, household cleaning supplies, pet cleaning supplies, and their newest product line is of diapers, baby wipes, and diaper rash cream as well. And so with our partnership, they have so generously given me the amazing opportunity to be able to have an affiliate link just for my listeners that I will put in the description of this episode. And if you shop through that link, you will get 10% off your entire purchase, and I also receive a bit of commission. And as an added bonus, every time you make a purchase using that link, you get the discount. It's not only a one-time use kind of deal. So whether you've been looking to treat yourself, stock up on essentials, or maybe just you're feeling ready to make that switch from chemical heavy um or unethical companies into something that's more eco-friendly, sustainable, and made by a fully transparent company when it comes to the ethics involved. You know, I highly encourage you guys to go check out the attitude website, and once again, that link will be in the description of this episode. So I really hope that you can find some new favorites as well. And I'm so sorry if it feels like I'm just trying to sell you something. I know that can be really frustrating. I'm just so passionate about this company and to ease your mind even more. I genuinely love attitude products, and I started off as a customer. Um, I started off with their deodorant, I fell absolutely in love with it. It glides on so nicely, the smell is lovely, it really does the job. Um, and after I bought the deodorant and loved it, I looked into the company, and once I started to see what they stand for and how they support, you know, fair wages and sustainability, and they focus on the environment and on wildlife, it really spoke to me, and I wanted to support a business like that with my dollar to show other companies you need to step it up and do what this company is doing. So they're getting my dollar. And so, anytime then that I needed anything that was something attitude sold, I would buy it from there. So I got a moisturizer, I tried all these lip products, I tried uh mascara, a lot of household cleaning supplies, soaps and things like that, and everything that I've tried, that my family's tried, that my friends have tried, everyone that I know that's tried anything has absolutely loved the products. Um, and so like I said, like I started off as the customer, and I actually I was the one that reached out to them and I told them a bit about myself and this podcast and the incredibly beautiful community that we've all created together. And to be honest, I almost forgot about it the second I sent it off sent it off because I really wasn't respect expecting a response. I've recently heard that they are now, you know, so successful that they are being found in the health section of like supermarkets and drugstores, which is just incredible to have such a big wide company like that. Um and so I I really didn't think that they would care about me or this small little email that they got, so I just wasn't expecting anything. And I thought if I did get a response, it would be like a generic generic, like copied and pasted, like thank you, but we're not interested type deal. So when I did get an email back from them with that in mind, you can probably just imagine how elated and excited I was that such an amazing and well-known brand offered to work with me. And like I just couldn't be more grateful. I'm 100% bedbound, but metaphorically, I was bouncing off the walls. Like, I am just so beyond grateful for the support of this huge, amazing, well-known, successful company, and it will forever be such an honor for a company like that to support our community and the space that we've created that emphasizes kindness and human connection, and genuinely, like I just couldn't be more grateful. And speaking of grateful, you know what's coming. Thank you so much for everything that you do to interact with this podcast. Downloads are by far the most helpful thing you can possibly do for me, particularly if there's an ad on the video. And I'm so sorry because I know ads suck and they're frustrating and they interrupt things and they're annoying. They're only up anywhere from a couple of hours to a maximum of a couple days. But if an episode of mine has an ad on it and you download that episode, you don't have to do a single thing at all with the ad. I do receive a very small kickback. And when I say very small, I'm talking like pennies. And you might be thinking, pennies, Kayla? Really pennies? You're torturing us with these horrible commercials for pennies, and it still boggles my mind to say this, and I don't know if I can say it without crying, but at this point, there is over a hundred and twelve thousand of us and growing, so it really does add up. And I know I've talked a lot about money here at the beginning, and I'm so sorry about that, but I will be completely honest with you. This podcast is extremely pricey to keep up with, it's it's a lot of money monthly to keep this podcast up and running. I'm on 17 different streaming platforms, and humble brag, I have five stars on every single one of them. So thank you so much to anyone who has left positive ratings or reviews. It truly means the world to me. Thank you. But it is a huge financial burden, and I'm a person who is on end-of-life hospice care receiving disability income that doesn't even cover my own medications. I can't even afford my own medications. And so while I'll continue to make this podcast a priority because it's given me a new purpose and a community and something I love, um, you know, it still is a hardship for me. And at the beginning of every month, I set aside the monthly fee that it would be for the podcast monthly fee, and anytime that I get an attitude commission or um ad revenue, it goes right back into the podcast, and I'm able to take that money out of the pile I set aside and use that money for other things in my life, like being able to afford more of my medication. And you know, if you've been looking for a way to support financially without you know really spending money by downloading an episode with an ad, it's like you're putting money directly back into my pot pocket and into the podcast. Um, any amount that I can get taken off that monthly fee is so, so, so helpful. And you know, it's incredible when I hit a month where I have enough ad revenue and attitude commissions to cover the whole bill. But whether it covers the whole thing or not, any amount of buffer is such a miracle for me and it truly helps. So I appreciate you understanding, and it means a lot to me that you're patient with me in that respect. But just speaking in general terms, even if the episode doesn't have an ad on it, downloads are just super helpful in general, and they could potentially be helpful for you as well because typically when you download an episode, it then means that you can listen to it even if you don't have access to Wi-Fi or data or internet or whatever. So, some scenarios that might be handy. Maybe you're going for a long car ride or a road trip. Maybe you're going hiking or camping and you're just in a more rural or secluded area where the service is really shoddy and spotty. Maybe you're waiting in an impossibly long line. Maybe you have a meeting with someone and they're running late. The last example is one where I think we've all been there. It's typically a medical appointment, and you show up maybe a couple minutes early for your appointment, you get there, you're ready, and you check in, and they say, Oh hi, Dr. So-and-so is about seven patients behind. There's gonna be a bit of a wait today. And uh then you don't have to scramble trying to find some sort of Wi-Fi or use data. Um, you can if you have an episode downloaded, you're good to go. But, you know, all jokes aside, even if you don't foresee yourself in any of those situations, please download anyway. It really does help me out. And speaking of helping me out, thank you so much to every single one of you who has shared this podcast, whether it's been online or in person with other people that you feel might also enjoy or benefit from these episodes. It is so humbling to me to see the growth in this podcast to know that people not only tolerate what I have to say, but they look forward to it. Um, you know, as a kid, the things that I was picked on for, being too sensitive, being too emotional, being too opinionated, being too smart, all the things that people used to pick on me for are what now everyone loves about me in this podcast space. And it really heals my inner child to tell that little girl, keep being you because one day it's gonna pay off big time. And um it means the world to me. So thank you. Sorry about that, getting a little emotional. It just it really means the world to me. Thank you. Because the more people that are brought into the community and the more we do things like downloads, it tells the algorithm to push advice for the living even you know further into the mainstream so that even more people can find this amazing community that we've built together here, you know. Um, we may not all share the exact same opinions or beliefs on things, but we have this mutual respect for one another and the genuine desire for the well-being of our fellow humans, whether that's strangers, neighbors, family members, friends, or somewhere someone somewhere in between, you know, and kindness really can change the world. And I feel that human connection is the key to humanity and how we proceed forward as humans. The best way we can do it is as a team. And you know, when one of us is down, we work together to get that person back on their feet, and once they are, they can then help the next person get back on their feet. And when one of us has uh, you know, a hard time, we're all there with them. And when someone has a victory, we all celebrate together, and there's no need to be this number one better than everyone else. As long as you're a better person today than you were the day before, my friend, you have already won. You're already winning at life, and you are already totally victorious. You've done it, you figured it out. As long as you're a better person today than who you were yesterday, you've already been the best. So um I know you guys feel the same way or you wouldn't be here. And I'm not gonna ramble anymore. I'm gonna hop right into the email because I know I've spoken for long enough. Hi, Kayla. Something happened today that I can't stop replaying in my head, and I don't know whether I'm supposed to let it go or finally take it seriously. My wife and I were walking our dog Louise this afternoon. She's a great Pyrenees, very old, very large, and the gentlest animal I've ever known. She moves really slowly, sleeps most of the day, and honestly just wants to sniff flowers and lay in the sun. At this point in her life, even excitement is a lot for her. Out of nowhere, our neighbor's dog, a chihuahua named Coco, came running straight at us completely off leash, barking, growling, darting around Louise's legs. It was chaos immediately. We were trying to stay calm, pulling Louise back, calling for the neighbor, trying to create space, but Coco kept rushing in and out, snapping, and Louise was clearly overwhelmed and confused. She's not built for fast situations anymore. She couldn't even tell where the noise was coming from. I remember thinking very clearly, if this turns into a real fight, my dog might actually die. Not because she's weak, but because she's so old. Then our neighbor, Deborah, finally appeared. She was already on the phone with 911. Before anyone had even checked on either dog, she started screaming into the phone that her dog had just been, quote, savagely bitten by a large white pit bull, and that she herself was now being attacked. Louise is a great Pyrenees. She looks like a cloud. The idea that she's secretly a pit bull is something. Deborah then threw herself to the ground in front of us, still on the phone, crying and yelling that she was being assaulted. Coco disappeared completely, just vanished, while Deborah continued narrating a violent attack that clearly wasn't happening. I felt like I had stepped into a play I hadn't auditioned for. At that point, I was shaking, Louise was shaking, my wife was shaking, and honestly, we didn't know yet if Louise was hurt. We went back inside because I genuinely didn't trust the situation and didn't want it to escalate further. Police and animal control arrived shortly after and they were very calm. Too calm. One of them asked casually, is this Deborah again? Another one said, We've dealt with her before. They checked Louise, checked Deborah, checked the area, and immediately started pointing out that Deborah had no visible injuries, Coco had no visible injuries, multiple neighbors had seen Coco off leash, and Louise was clearly not the aggressor. One officer told us, gently but very directly, that Deborah's story didn't make sense and that she may have filed a false police report. They also explained that we should we could technically press charges for harassment or false reporting if we wanted to. Here's the part that makes this unbearable. We took Louise to the vet after everything calmed down. She needed five stitches. Coco had actually bitten her during the chaos. Louise is okay, but she's old. Seeing her hurt like that when she didn't do anything wrong made me feel sick and furious at the same time. Deborah has always been like this, always a victim, always in some kind of conflict, always convinced the world is against her. She's never worked a day in her life as far as we know, but she's constantly threatening lawsuits, calling authorities, and positioning herself as the injured party in every situation. But today felt different. Today wasn't just annoying or dramatic, it was genuinely dangerous. I'm scared about what happens next. For Louise, for other dogs, for kids, for anyone who happens to be outside when Coco decides to chase something again with no owner in sight. At the same time, I can't stop thinking about Coco. She's badly trained, obese, reactive, and never supervised, but none of that is her fault. If we escalate this, animal control could remove her. And because she now has a documented bite history, there's a real chance that she could be put down, and that feels like punishing the wrong being for the wrong person's behavior. I want accountability, safety, and for this pattern to stop. But I don't want to be the reason a dog loses its life because her owner is unstable and irresponsible. No matter what I do, someone innocent pays. How do you make the right choice when every option feels wrong? Jim. Wow. Hi Jim. Um I I have so much to say, but the first thing is the fact that she was calling a Great Pyrenees a pit bull is an absolute joke. So for anyone listening who who may not know what a Great Pyrenees looks like, I'm sure most people can imagine what a pit bull looks like. You've probably seen pictures. A Great Pyrenees is a really large white dog that was used you know for livestock guardianship and still is used for livestock guardianship in some areas. So they're very big, very docile, long white hair. Definitely not a short coated dog like a pit bull. So that's just that was my first thing. I almost laughed out loud at that. Like, that is so outrageous. Um, but moving on from just My bafflement at her saying that. I guess the whole thing baffles me, her throwing herself to the floor, all of that. But I guess I want to start by saying very clearly that I don't think you are being dramatic or petty or vindictive. What you described wasn't just like a dispute with a neighbor, it was a genuinely unsafe situation that happened to involve a person who I guess treats emergencies like a performance or some kind of I don't know spectacle. Um and you know, thank God Coco didn't go after a child, you know, or whatever, because when a dog is off leash, it can go anywhere. And clearly Coco has aggression issues. I'm glad there was no youngsters in the vicinity. And although Louise is very old, she's also very big. I can't even imagine what damage Coco could do to a smaller dog. You know, if Louise got five stitches, what could Coco do to a little dog? Um, you know, you didn't imagine that fear that you felt at the time. I think anyone who has loved an elderly dog knows exactly what you mean when you said like if this turns into a real fight, my dog might actually die. That's not paranoia, that's like a realistic risk. You know, it's a risk assessment. Louise isn't built for chaos anymore. She's a really big dog, she's quite old, she moves slowly. Um, you know, she's not built for that chaos, and she shouldn't have to be. And part the part that's like especially disturbing is that while you're trying to protect your own dog, someone else was actively like I don't know, constructing this fictional narrative about being attacked by a large white pit bull, which is just that absurdity is just funny later, honestly, but I'm sure in the moment that kind of behavior is so dangerous because false reports don't just waste resources, they put real people and animals at risk of very real consequences. And what you're experiencing now is kind of a a classic ethical trap. You know, if you do nothing, someone gets hurt again, but if you escalate, someone innocent might suffer. And that's not a fair choice, you know, it's just the only one that you were given. And here's the uncomfortable truth. You know, you're already being forced to choose between harms. The only real difference is whether the harm happens quietly in the future or visibly now, you know, and and Coco's not the villain. You're absolutely right about that. She's a product of neglect, not malice, but allowing a known, unmanaged risk to keep roaming freely doesn't protect her. It just kind of delays the moment where something worse happens. Um, you know, and and next time it might not be an old dog, it might be a child, it might be someone who reacts instinctively and kicks her or you know hits her with something. It might be a dog who la like responds in defense and she doesn't survive the encounter, or maybe she is so aggressive that another dog doesn't survive the encounter. There's so many different things, you know, and people can react violently when they're scared to try to get this dog away from them no matter what it takes. She's at risk of all of that, not to mention the risk of being hit by a car or something else while she's in the middle of the street. Like that's a whole other thing in and of itself. And doing nothing doesn't spare Coco. It just gambles with who's gonna get hurt next. And what you're actually wrestling with, I don't think is guilt. I think it's misplaced responsibility. Like you feel like you would be causing harm by reporting, but in reality, Deborah already caused the harm by creating this whole scenario that made this situation inevitable. You know, you didn't create the bite history, you didn't remove the leash, you didn't teach Coco to rush strangers, you just happened to be standing there when the consequences finally showed up. And accountability isn't cruelty, it's a boundary setting for reality. And I think here's the quiet part that no one likes to say sometimes the right thing still hurts. And sometimes compassion looks like intervention and not patience. And sometimes protecting the innocent means accepting that systems exist because individual goodwill just isn't enough sometimes. You know, you're not responsible for Deborah's behavior, you're not responsible for Coco's lack of training. You are responsible for Louise and for the people and animals who cross that sidewalk tomorrow. If there's any version of this that still feels humane, it's this. You know, I think document everything, cooperate with animal control, advocate for Coco to be rehomed or placed with someone capable who's willing to work with her on her behavior as well as you know, getting her in a healthy weight and in better shape and has the time to work with her. Um and stop absorbing the guilt that doesn't belong to you. You should not feel guilty for following through with the problems that you were forced into by Deborah's actions. Um because dogs are animals, we expect them to be animals, we expect them to do dog behaviors, and sometimes dogs are aggressive. What we do expect is that the person who is responsible for that dog is in control of that dog at all times. And so it's not Coco's fault for being a dog, it's Deborah's fault for not being in control of her own dog. And so by you continuing on with the report or whatever else, you are not condemning Coco, she did. And, you know, I think you didn't go on that walk looking for conflict and you didn't exaggerate what happened, you didn't, you know, weaponize the system. You just wanted, you know, a nice quiet stroll with an old dog spelling the flowers, and somehow all of this turned into this big moral dilemma. I can't even imagine how much uh overwhelming stress this is causing you because you are afraid that if you follow through that it's a false police report and or you know, you follow through with reporting Coco, you're worried that she might lose her life. Um but you know, I'm hoping that oftentimes animal control officers will listen. Sometimes I know in some areas there's a one-bite policy, which is that if an animal bites once, it's immediate euthanasia. Um, no questions asked. But in other places, if that's not the case, sometimes they are more willing to listen when you say things like, you know, this dog was neglected, clearly because it's so overweight, it was just probably she just kept the food dish full all the time, and that dog just kept eating and eating and eating, which is neglectful. Um, clearly hadn't been to a vet, or the vet would have been putting it on a diet plan. Um, you know, this dog didn't get the attention she deserved. Um, because clearly, like Deborah was nowhere to be seen when Coco's running around on the streets. Um, so with it with the right hands, she could get to a healthier body weight and also maybe have some instruction with someone who's willing to work with her to teach her basic manners and how that's not how we greet people, and that's not how we approach people or approach dogs. And by saying, you know, I really don't think this dog is a threat to people, you know, if we're able to keep her under our control via a leash or or putting a muzzle or whatever else if she needs one in public. But I think that Louise your dog Louise, I might have called this dog Louise by accident. If I did, I apologize. Um I don't think I did. Louise is obviously you know older and she wasn't really able to fight back, and that's really sad to think about. You know, this was no fault of her own, and she needed five stitches, like it's heartbreaking. And, you know, for Coco, a little dog to cause that much damage, I can see people saying on one hand that if she can do that and she's capable of that, there's no use giving her a second chance. But I think if you, as the victims of the dog that was injured, advocate for Coco and try to get her that second chance with a rescuer, a foster family that can really work with her. Um, maybe there can be a positive outcome from this, but it definitely, without a doubt, Coco needs to be taken away from Deborah. Deborah cannot be um responsible for Coco. Clearly, she hasn't been already, and she doesn't deserve to be in the future. It's disgusting. I cannot stand people who get animals and don't take the time to do anything with them. I'm going to tell you a very quick story. I've told it on here before, um, so I'm gonna try not to ramble too long because I have said it before, but um when I got my service dog, um, I got him as a puppy, and then we did the training together and took a public access test and all that good stuff. In his litter, um, unfortunately, some passed away, so there were two survivors, him and another uh boy. And um, the boy went to this woman that was living about maybe six hours away from where I lived. And the breeder and I had become very close, and she was doing dog shows, and she was like, Maybe you would want to come with me to the national dog show for your dog breed, which is a Breard, um, and it was in Quebec, um, and I'm from Ontario, so we were gonna drive down there together with Frodo, my service dog, who was a puppy at the time, he was about six months old at the time, and her older dog that's actually Frodo's grandfather, um, was going as well. And we decided that on the way to Quebec, we were passing the area where Frodo's brother was, so we were gonna stop by and say hello and have lunch or whatever at that lady's house. So we get there, and um she had this very large kind of property, and then the area of her deck was up kind of like a flight of stairs, and then there was like a deck patio area where you could sit, there was a table, there were chairs, all that good stuff. Um, but on the lower part, there was a big chunk of grass and a little pond and all this stuff, and so I asked her, I said, Hey, um, you know, would it be okay if I took Frodo down to your big space and we did a little bit of training down there because we were working on his recall and his downstairs. So, what that really means is I wanted him to stay lying down, and then when I called his name, he needed to, in a split second, run over to me and be there in a heartbeat. And that's kind of what recall is is as soon as you say the word, they need to immediately be turning on their heels, getting back to you. And um, he was also really good at that downstay where I could walk away from him and he would stay lying down. Um, he was only six months, but we had started his training even you know, so young. I visited him, you know, the day he was born and got to be there every single weekend until he came home with me. So we had started training so young with him, and so we were doing all that on the ground and it went really well, and then it was time for lunch. So I bring Frodo up all of the stairs, and we get to the patio area where her dog, Charles, Frodo's brother, was there as well. And there was gonna be food served at the table. Now, with service dogs, it's really, really, really important. Two things. One, they cannot be begging at the table, putting their head on the table, trying to steal food, etc. The other thing is if someone drops food on the floor, they are not allowed to go have a free-for-all and eat the food that fell on the floor. That's really important for service dogs. It's part of the access test. Um, they will drop food on the floor, and if the dog goes for it, they will fail the test. So that's a huge deal. So I had um gotten up on the patio and I put Frodo laying down kind of off to the side of the table. Later on, he was gonna learn to lay under the table, but he was still at this stage earlier in his training. Um, but we had done a few things and I had the treat pouch on me, and I said to the lady who was the owner of Frodo's brother, I said, Hey, um, you know, I feel really bad that I'm just giving Frodo all of these treats for his training with my treat bag. Is it okay if I give some to Charles? And she's like, Oh yeah, absolutely. Um and Frodo had allergies, so that's one of the main reasons I asked her. I didn't know if there was any foods that were off limits or whatever, um, but she was fine with it. And so I had both the dogs there. I had a treat and I said sit, and Frodo sat immediately bummed down. And then I said to Charles, I said, sit, sit Charles, and he's not doing anything. So then I start doing the old luring their nose trick where you put the treat kind of right at their nose and you start lifting it above their head, which makes their bum go down usually and puts them in a sit, but that was not happening. So then I'm doing that same thing, it's kind of in front of his nose, and I'm lifting it up, and I'm even pressing down a bit near his bum to get him to sit down, and he's just not sitting down, he's not having it. And um, I guess the woman, I don't want to say her name just because I don't want to call her out. She looked over and she said, Oh, oh no, he doesn't do any tricks. Excuse me, he doesn't do any tricks. Sitting is basic manners, you know, like not jumping up on people and knowing to sit down. That's manners, that's not a tr like a trick. A trick would be like, I don't know, roll over or um turn on a light switch. A trick is not sitting, and I remember in that moment being so flipping baffled that this woman thought it was a a trick, and it really, really, really bothered me to see that this dog had no discipline. Its face was right up at the food, it was swiping things off the table while Frodo was being so good. Um, and later on, this very woman returned that dog when a couple months later, as he was even getting bigger than he was when he was six months, he she couldn't control him because she had never taught him basic manners. And so he would jump up on people or he would play too rough, and they had never given him a foundation of manners to know, you know, sit or drop it or anything like that. And so she literally returned the dog to the breeder, saying that she couldn't control the dog, it was out of control, and she has grandkids and she's worried that the dog is gonna hurt the grandkids because it keeps jumping up on them and they're getting hurt or they're getting scratched or whatever. And I can't even tell you how infuriated I was when I learned that information. Like people who accept a pet and then take no responsibility to make sure that that animal is set up for success, it's despicable. And clearly in this case, Coco was not set up for success. How could she have been successful with an owner like Deborah? Honestly. Um, so I'm sorry I kind of went off there on my own tangent, but with all of that being said, I don't think I have much more to say about this. I'm just frustrated for the situation for you. I think this lady is clearly putting on some performance, like throwing herself on the floor as if she's being attacked. It's ridiculous. I'm glad the police can see right through her lies, like it's so stupid. Um, with that being said, thank you all so much for listening. Um, I'm hoping for anyone, if I've done an episode for you already, um, I would love an update, and I know people listening would probably love to hear an update because I know for myself, I'm always wondering since that episode aired, what has changed for you? Um, what's the same, what's different? Are things better? If they're worse, maybe I can give more advice or help in other ways. I'd love to know, and I know the listeners would love to know. And just in general, if you've uh been hesitant on whether or not to send an email, please do if you want me to change any names or details to protect your privacy or your anonymity. I'm more than happy to do so, and I absolutely love to see a full inbox. Um I'm whittling away at it. It got quite backed up with my little hiatus that I was on. Um, but we're we're catching up, and I just love seeing the full inbox because let's face it, without your emails, I'd have nothing to respond to, therefore no episode, therefore no podcast. So I really can't do it without you. Um and my email address is all lowercase. It's advice the number fourtheliving at gmail.com. That's advice the number four theliving at gmail.com all lowercase. And you like I said, I check those emails constantly so you can be rest assured that if you send me an email, you will be getting an episode out of it. So stay tuned because you never know when your episode will be next. And with all that being said, thank you all once again for being here, for tuning in, for listening, for supporting me, for supporting this podcast. The link to get 10% off your entire order at Attitude is in the description of this episode. And I cannot wait to catch you in the next one. Bye, folks.