Emotional Safety, Boundaries, and the Modern Relationship Contract with Yaz and Ash

If love is simple, why do we make it so complicated? We open the door on emotional safety, the difference between honesty and transparency, and how the little details—who’s there, where you’re going, when you’ll be back—turn anxiety into peace. We challenge the “traditional roles vs. modern independence” stalemate with a practical middle ground: mutual respect, soft homes, and doing the work both partners claim they want.

We don’t dodge the hot-button topics. The gentlemen’s club debate gets real about environment, frequency, and what respect looks like when you’re out with friends or entertaining clients. We map out trust signals that actually soothe nerves—picked-up calls, shareable locations, clear timelines—without sliding into surveillance. Then we dig into vetting partners with more than vibes: discerning character over charisma, watching patterns over promises, and deciding with your head before your heart has to clean up the mess. Faith, boundaries, and emotional intelligence all take a seat at the table.

Cheating? We strip away the myths. It’s not about the quality of dinner or bedroom performance; it’s about character, comfort, and choices. Some men never cheat—not because temptation disappears, but because love and standards are stronger than impulse. The friend zone? It exists, but escaping it often costs more than it pays. We also confront domestic conflict honestly: real strength is restraint and de-escalation, not escalation. And for anyone staying for status, money, or proximity to fame, we talk about the hidden tax of constant anxiety and the courage it takes to choose dignity over lifestyle.

If you care about relationship boundaries, emotional safety, trust, and choosing partners with real character, this one’s for you. Tap play, then tell us: what’s one boundary that makes you feel safe and seen? Subscribe, share with a friend who needs the nudge, and leave a review to keep these conversations flowing.

Transcript

Setting The Stage: Roles And Reality

SPEAKER_04 0:00

Ah, wait for it, wait for it, wait for it, wait for it. All right, now we're back with another episode of In Maxly Trust. We have Miss Yaz with us, and I have a special guest host today. Miss Asher King has returned to guest host with us. Now, ladies, and well, Sean, I feel like we're starting to get outnumbered in these seats, bro. A lot of estrogen.

SPEAKER_05 0:19

Well, now we got two New York Recons.

SPEAKER_04 0:22

Oh, Lord, Lord Jason, help us. And we're gonna be talking relationships today, guys. Talking relationships today. And the uncomfortable conversations we're gonna have to have. Like, yeah, as you said off camera, how you know women sometimes ain't shit. Like, let's talk about relationship roles. What's your perspective on that?

SPEAKER_01 0:43

Um there's a lot to unpack. Um obviously people try to I don't I don't want to say justify, but they like to compare, for example, our grandparents, right? Our grandmas and great grandmas, and how I've seen a lot of viral um videos and stories about how our grandmas used to stay with our grandpas through cheating, through this and that. But they missed, you know, they leave the part out where it's like they didn't have a choice. During those times, they didn't have a choice, they were dependent on this man. The role was to stay home, take care of the children, take care of the household, have a hot meal when that man walked through that door, don't nag him, don't you know he had a hard hour as a message, all right? So I understand that obviously years later things change, and so women don't they feel like they have to adapt to today's society in a way because now it's not we stay home and take care of it. We can, that's still the thing, yeah. But it's more like women are more independent, women are business owners or entrepreneurs around before all that. Believe me, I love to see strong independent women. However, the dynamic still does not change. I feel like no matter how much we we move on in life in years, still a man is still going to have that traditional aspect instilled in him. So women, we could always say, I want a traditional man, but they're not doing their traditional role themselves. They're acting out when they go out, they're acting out on social media. They, you know, they're not respecting themselves.

SPEAKER_04 2:31

Correct.

SPEAKER_01 2:32

And so no matter how what way you go about it, you can argue about it. Again, this is my opinion, nobody has to agree. Um no matter which way you go about it, you can't say that you want a traditional man and you want a man to be a leader, a man to be to pay the bills, a man to take care of you, a man to be a great father, but you're not willing to partake in that traditional role as well.

SPEAKER_02 2:53

Be soft.

SPEAKER_01 2:54

Thank you, be soft and be they are scared of that word.

Independence, Softness, And Doing The Work

SPEAKER_02 3:02

Absolutely. I like how you led with you know, the old school mentality was you know, you guys are gonna stick it out no matter what. If you cheatin' and beaten, thank you. No, but like you said, women weren't able to leave. Now that women have careers and people, you know, women are being successful in the business world, they're able to have something for their own. So now they can leave. It's an option, it's optional. You know, it's it's a nice to have, not need to have. But I do agree. I think also um we were raised in generations where women were raised by single women, single moms, right? So we had to learn how to be tough. We have to learn how to have that masculine energy. So the dynamics definitely shifted from being dependent on a man to I gotta, you know, get it out of the mud and do it for myself, which creates you know, kind of this, I don't want to say trauma, but it is in a way, right? Um but you create these defense mechanisms to survive in life, right? Which create that masculine energy. And if it's a woman is unwilling to learn how to do that and to be softer and to you know learn how to be submissive and to learn how to be supportive of their spouse, it's a challenge. And it's not easy, it's hard, yeah, and it hurts, you know, like you've been through some stuff, and it's like okay, let's unpack this, let's dig into why you are this way and why you feel the need to compete and puff your chest out. It's like you want a man, but you trying to be a man. It's like you can't have both.

SPEAKER_01 4:35

I completely agree with her on that because I've also discussed this, you know, with my partner and other people that it takes the wit work. That's the key right there. Women are not willing to do the wit work, they just want the surface and say that this is what I want, me, me, me. But what are you willing to do for that? What work are you willing to put in to get what you deserve in the right?

SPEAKER_02 4:59

I feel that goes both ways because there's a lot of men out there that aren't willing to do the work. You want all of the benefits of a soft, nurturing home to come home to you want that, you know, nice, hot, cooked meal, clean house, you know, you want all of the softness, but what are you saying?

SPEAKER_04 5:14

Sir That meal ain't ready.

SPEAKER_02 5:16

Sir, but Uber Eats can only do but so much. I don't know. I got to do it. Okay, it cannot create a home, it cannot create that soft life and you know that welcoming, right? Yeah, I think we're I don't know, you get to an age where you realize what's important is having a soft house, having something, you know, safe, peace to come home to, right? But you have to create that. What is the man doing to create that? Because everybody has a story, everybody's been through things, everybody has trauma, everybody develops defen defense mechanisms, right? But what are they doing to do the work? Because a lot of men want all the benefits, but they're not doing any work.

SPEAKER_05 5:51

What if they're providing the entire monetary stability?

SPEAKER_02 5:56

Okay, but are they are they pro are they providing emotional safety? Like what else? Describe emotional safety, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 6:03

What does that look like from a female's perspective? Like if a man doing that, what does that look like? Like, hey, how's it going, honey? I'll let her give her take on it and then I'll give my take. Go ahead, talk to her.

SPEAKER_01 6:11

There's been I've I've seen a you know a trend on social media lately about a woman feeling safe, right? In her in her partnership with whatever. So emotional safety for us is like men love to throw that word insecurity at us a lot. They just love to just throw it at all, you insecure, you insecure. But it's it's again, there's so much to impact when it comes to all these details and relationships because a lot of things, it's trauma that we've had from previous things that we are self-aware of that we are working on, but there's things that men do that trigger and they know that they triggered.

SPEAKER_04 6:47

Give me an example. Give me an example.

SPEAKER_02 6:49

Just being secretive. Okay, let's say a woman's gone through um. I mean, we can go a couple different things. We can say cheating on the phone. You can start cheating, but you want to be secretive with your phone. You want to have your phone flipped upside down, you want to, you know, be, I don't know, vague with what you're doing and what your plans are. Sir, where's the transparency? The communication, it's it's not open. You're not creating that safe space.

SPEAKER_01 7:13

You're not including us in stuff, just doing your own thing, like just. Why are you tripping? Why are you tripping?

SPEAKER_04 7:19

I'm just now this the thing, this is the thing I've learned in my later years. There's a difference between honesty and transparency. 100%. Okay. So, like for years, I'm like, yeah, yeah, I'm I'll be honest, I'm going with the boys, we're gonna have a guy's night out. I ain't saying where we were going. You know where we're going. Going to the PH. We're here now. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_02 7:35

See, that's the problem. Problem, but they don't want to tell the woman that. But then we're triggered and we're wrong. Case in point, that's emotional safety.

SPEAKER_04 7:42

But ready, now that I'm gonna be able to get it.

SPEAKER_01 7:43

So what does a man in a commitment belong in a place like that? Right, exactly.

Emotional Safety Defined: Honesty vs Transparency

SPEAKER_04 7:47

That part. But hear me out. Now it's an example, guys. But I'm saying, like, now that I'm older.

SPEAKER_02 7:51

That's a good example.

SPEAKER_04 7:52

But now that I'm older, it's all right, cool. Damn it, Max, what are you doing to us right now?

SPEAKER_02 7:57

He's helping to prove the point. You said what's emotional safety? Emotional safety is not keeping things from your sense.

SPEAKER_04 8:03

Now that I'm older, I'm, hey, we're going, we're going court, we're going to casino, noodle bar, Sean's gonna be there, Manny's gonna be there, both they wise gonna be there. If you I prefer if you come. I know you got a lot going on. I prefer if you come. But if you can't make it, that's the guest list. We're gonna be here from this time to roughly this time. That sounds good. That's how shit. If I'm gonna be any later, I promise I'll let you know. Well, that's transparent and honest.

SPEAKER_02 8:28

Yeah, but that's both. That creates emotional safety and security for a woman.

SPEAKER_04 8:33

At that point right now, if I tell her that, like, let's say, let's say it's you, your wife, Manny, his lady, and I tell her, hey, this is where I'm going, I'd love for you to join. But if you can't join, hey, I'm gonna be here from XY to 7 p.m. to 11 p.m. Okay, now she knows the full spectrum of what I'm doing. If she calls during that time frame, hey, hey, we still doing shots at the doodle bar. Yeah, yeah, I'll be back in an hour. Click, hung up.

SPEAKER_02 8:58

That's good. That's good. Um no, he answered. He answered and communicated what was still going out. We say bye. No, no, I'm saying.

SPEAKER_04 9:06

Right. They're not. I always I refuse to not with your sniffing, I refuse to not do the like, you always say goodbye. Definitely give them the love you because at the end of the day, you don't know when the last time you're gonna see that person. So always getting that love you by just so worst case scenario.

SPEAKER_01 9:20

And I'm speaking from experience of losing people.

SPEAKER_04 9:22

Yeah, God forbid. Right.

SPEAKER_02 9:23

You never know.

SPEAKER_04 9:24

You know what I'm saying? You never know. So I'm very big on you gotta make sure you leave on a positive note.

SPEAKER_02 9:28

No, but he did good. Good job. Good job.

SPEAKER_04 9:29

Yeah, we're learning.

SPEAKER_02 9:30

Hey, that's that's what transparency is. The issue that comes up is when men don't do that. So they're out, they're not answering their phone, their act is suspicious. Now you gotta call them two or three times, texting them. Yeah, dodging a cause, suspicious.

SPEAKER_04 9:43

Real suspicious. Now, wait a minute. Now I see it hold on. Let me add, let me let me devil's advocate that real quick.

SPEAKER_05 9:48

Hey, real quick, yeah, so you gotta be closer to Mike. Yeah, you can't do it. You can move it closer if you want.

SPEAKER_02 9:52

Sorry to have it. Yeah, yeah. Can she scoot a little back?

SPEAKER_05 9:55

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_02 9:58

You know, like shift it over, mommy.

SPEAKER_05 10:02

Get off the camera with this. Move it perfectly on the screen.

SPEAKER_02 10:05

Move it up.

unknown 10:06

Move it up.

SPEAKER_02 10:09

If you want to lean back like that. I'm just kidding. We do not receive that. I do not come in agreement with that.

SPEAKER_04 10:16

We don't. We this is I told you it's a safe space. That's coliosa, that's your business.

SPEAKER_05 10:21

And then turn the mic towards your face. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:24

Is this good? Go this way.

SPEAKER_05 10:25

No, no, towards your face.

SPEAKER_02 10:27

It was like that.

SPEAKER_05 10:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:29

Don't yell at her. Whoa.

SPEAKER_04 10:31

Hey, okay, watch it.

SPEAKER_05 10:32

Watch it, watch it, watch this, watch this. Well, I'm gonna have to cut this out real quick.

SPEAKER_04 10:35

So just just you know, just let him leave.

SPEAKER_05 10:39

15, so that's fine.

SPEAKER_01 10:42

You know what I'm saying? I liked his tone. It was a respect. It's acceptable. It's a respectful tone.

SPEAKER_04 10:47

Oh it's okay, man. I got us putting the male species on my back. I got him. I'm the producer.

SPEAKER_01 10:53

For bringing her, because it's two against two.

SPEAKER_04 10:55

That's right. I like it.

SPEAKER_01 10:56

We should have done this the first time, right?

SPEAKER_05 10:58

Absolutely not. So uh so as long as the guy's transparent, you feel emotional safety. That is that what I'm hearing. That's what creates the safety. And I I heard her uh share something uh on the mic. She said, share your location. So me and my wife, we share locations because God forbid she gets kidnapped.

SPEAKER_01 11:15

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_05 11:16

Or I get kidnapped. Probably not gonna stop. They'll break you back.

SPEAKER_01 11:20

They break you back, but you could get mugged. Yeah, or maybe I'm a pretty good one.

SPEAKER_02 11:29

Like, there's a million things that can happen. So really part of it.

SPEAKER_05 11:32

When I go to PH, she knows I'm not doing anything. I'm not fucking throwing dollar bills. It's like going to Hooters without food, and you're still guys are visual creatures. They need to see something. That's all it is.

SPEAKER_02 11:44

They need to see something for what? I mean, you have to see at home yourself. Well, I'm just what you're seeing at home not enough? Right. That's not what it is. Well, that's the problem.

SPEAKER_05 11:53

Because you're not going by yourself. You're not going by yourself, you're going with your friends that may be single. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 11:59

Which means that if they want to go there. Hey, time out. I want you to Sir. Let's let's talk about it. No, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_02 12:06

You're not about to sit here and get off y'all know. I got it.

SPEAKER_04 12:09

I got it. I want to know what that means. I'm ready. So look.

SPEAKER_01 12:12

He needs to see. So you're a married man. What do you need to do? You're okay with your wife going to like mail reviews. Do it! Go to Magic Mite. What the fuck do we do?

SPEAKER_05 12:20

I'm fine with it, Jen. Jen, Jen.

SPEAKER_02 12:22

We go into Magic Mite, they have something to come in Florida.

SPEAKER_05 12:25

She's already been to it. Okay. Because I know she ain't gonna do shit. Because that's trust. I respect that. She's never done anything to break my trust. And I've never done anything to break our trust. Bro, in our first date, after we went to like five different places, we ended up at the pH. She was slapping dollar bills on strippers.

SPEAKER_02 12:44

And that's cool. That's cool. But I think there's levels to how often and frequent a man is going out. Because if this is your every number, no, no, another thing.

SPEAKER_05 12:52

Call it once a quarter.

SPEAKER_04 12:53

Yeah, like once every now and every once every now. Once a quarter. If the boys are getting together, because I think that plays a part.

SPEAKER_02 12:59

Yeah, like if you're not. Because those type of things can create not a safe space. Because why are you always going out? What do you mean you need to see some back?

Phones, Locations, And Trust Signals

SPEAKER_05 13:07

She does say she doesn't like me going, but she knows I'm not gonna do shit.

SPEAKER_02 13:11

So you don't respect her wishes.

SPEAKER_05 13:14

Stop it. Stop it. That's all you're doing.

SPEAKER_04 13:16

Give and take.

SPEAKER_02 13:17

I mean, I mean. Say that one more time.

SPEAKER_04 13:20

She doesn't like you to look in mouth, but hey, look, I thought I was gonna be in trouble today. Take you. Okay, what is that? What's that look?

SPEAKER_01 13:28

Face in point.

SPEAKER_05 13:28

Yes, what's that look?

SPEAKER_01 13:30

She said she doesn't like you go. But not in an end of story. End of story.

SPEAKER_05 13:37

So we need to be submissive to our wives?

SPEAKER_01 13:40

Huh?

SPEAKER_05 13:43

We need to be submissive to our wife.

SPEAKER_02 13:44

Submission is not a one-way. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_04 13:48

What she's referring to isn't submission. In respect of her wishes.

SPEAKER_01 13:52

But it's still let me rip out my Bible app because you wanna do? Look, bring out Jesus. Bring it out. In the verse, right? That everybody exaggerates about the woman being submissive, but it also speaks to me. You're gonna go to the back end of that. The husband also be submissive to your wives. Absolutely. Because it's a two-way street.

SPEAKER_02 14:18

No, no, absolutely no. That's in the Bible. Yes. In the Bible. I told you we didn't.

SPEAKER_01 14:23

Well, God also forgives sinners, so He does, but that doesn't mean that are not willing to commit sin again. That are not going to be a good thing. No, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_05 14:30

I'm penitent. I'm penitent.

SPEAKER_01 14:32

Oh, Jesus. It's gonna turn into a church service.

SPEAKER_04 14:36

You said we wasn't going to church. Yeah. You said we wasn't going to church.

SPEAKER_01 14:44

No, she said she was gonna get the Bible app. I got oil in a car. To bring on my holy oil, we could just I love it. I love it. Yes. I was born and raised Pentecostal.

SPEAKER_04 14:54

Oh, Pentecostal? Yes. Southern Baptist.

SPEAKER_01 14:56

Cousin, cousin. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_04 14:58

I was Presbyterian.

SPEAKER_05 15:00

Huh? Presbyterian.

SPEAKER_01 15:01

I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_02 15:03

I'm Christian. You are.

SPEAKER_04 15:05

You out of here. You out over here.

SPEAKER_02 15:07

You had it tough growing up. Very, very strict. Pentecostal.

SPEAKER_01 15:10

However, I don't regret anything because it molded me to the woman that I am today and the mother that I am.

SPEAKER_05 15:17

Were you married when you had a kid? Huh? Were you married when you had a kid? Damn it. Yeah, because I was trying to get you on that one. Wow, we knew better. You had to get married.

SPEAKER_01 15:26

Absolutely. Because otherwise it defeats the whole purpose. But yeah, we we got married, had my son, and moved here. So it's like, yes, that that was tough, especially growing up when you're not um you're having to absorb everything rather than being an adult and then going into it and you're learning. But as a child, you're not understanding what all this is. Oh, yeah. It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot going on. I mean, in a Spanish Pentecostal church, by the age of 10, you had to learn three versions, King James International in both languages. All the testaments, yes. So is you know, it's tough, but I don't regret it. I, you know, I'm still Christian to this day because it molds you into a much better person.

SPEAKER_04 16:08

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 16:09

Morals, values, all of that jazz. Yeah, but back to uh Max, I'm losing here.

SPEAKER_05 16:14

Uh help me out, bro. Oh, glad you asked. Losing in what regard? Hey, look, look.

SPEAKER_02 16:18

You just asked what creates emotional safety. So that's a really long answer to say those different types of scenarios either can create the safety or it can break it. Well, I think it depends on which way you go.

SPEAKER_05 16:28

I think about the strip club one.

SPEAKER_02 16:30

First off, you're not gonna win that one, should you?

SPEAKER_04 16:33

No, no, because that is that is that is their opinion.

SPEAKER_02 16:36

Correct.

SPEAKER_04 16:36

Right? And they're both Latinas. They're both Latinas, so you're gonna lose that regardless. Hey, look, ready? Ready? I've learned years ago not to argue with them. You just gotta go, babe, you're right, and walk off. Hey, you Max got it. I'm done. I'm out of there.

SPEAKER_01 16:51

And you would think him be a Latina would understand. But his wife is white.

SPEAKER_05 16:56

But my sister, see, see, I didn't want to add that caveat when you got it.

SPEAKER_02 17:00

I'm not even trying to say all that.

SPEAKER_05 17:03

But my sister's Cuban, and I grew up with her for fucking 18 years, and I'm gonna tell you.

SPEAKER_01 17:08

It's different dynamics.

SPEAKER_05 17:08

Oh yeah, just push her around.

SPEAKER_01 17:10

But I will say this, I will say this. I've known like a million and one couples, and it's hey, whatever works for you, every dynamic ship is different. Absolutely. The most important thing is setting those boundaries at the very beginning. Like, y'all went to pH on the first date, and that broke the ice to find out what it is like cool. Is that not cool, you know? So you set those boundaries. Whatever works for you, works for you. I we are nobody to judge. Do I agree with it? No. But am I?

Strip Clubs, Boundaries, And Respect

SPEAKER_05 17:34

I can tell you if I was going to be aware of it as a personal preference. If I was going every week, she would have a serious problem with it. But if I'm going four times a year, she's like, I get it. Yeah. And a lot of times it's with the guys, like you're going with the guys, like, yeah, that's I don't go there by myself. I'm not sitting in a chair, like, okay, which one's the next one?

SPEAKER_04 17:52

And I know they're saying, because it sounds, it sounds really shitty to say it, but like, if you with the boys, at times the dance don't even really matter, but so much.

SPEAKER_01 18:01

Like, yeah, it's different.

SPEAKER_04 18:02

Yeah, it's like you're drinking with your boys, you're bullshitting, especially if you go out. Watching sports. You're watching sports, you know what I mean? Like we might have food or whatever, but like, it's just background noise. It's a good thing.

SPEAKER_02 18:11

And then it might even be there. Well, then we'll occasionally get a glimpse of an ash you like.

SPEAKER_05 18:15

That's it.

SPEAKER_02 18:16

They say it's a nice vibe. It's the vibe. It is the vibe. You know what's going on? Who can I do?

SPEAKER_04 18:23

No, no, no, no, no, no. Okay. Let me explain. Let me let me tap into that. I love, I can, I can love being with my partner and love it. Love every minute with you.

SPEAKER_02 18:31

But you still need you need that guy time. You need guide time, but it doesn't environment counts. Environment counts.

SPEAKER_05 18:36

Yeah, but what do you think guys? Where do you think guys want to go? Go to the bar.

SPEAKER_02 18:40

Go to fucking team.

SPEAKER_04 18:44

I'll tell you like this. As a man, gentlemen's club. Girls hate when guys go to strip clubs, right? Gentlemen's clubs. Gentlemen's clubs, you're right. Because I don't do strip clubs. Yeah, I don't do strip clubs.

SPEAKER_02 18:55

There's a big difference.

SPEAKER_05 18:55

I'm not doing those strip stuff. Gentlemen's clubs, all you see them is in like lingerie and be case. And pasties. Plus, they live in the bar. I do that on Clearwater Beach.

SPEAKER_04 19:05

What's the point? But here's my big thing with that. Like you said go to the bar or you know, something like that.

SPEAKER_02 19:11

Go to the house. Y'all have y'all play spades at the house, right?

SPEAKER_04 19:14

First of all, don't know I want to smoke in spades. Spades at the house, what do you live in right now?

SPEAKER_02 19:19

What?

SPEAKER_04 19:20

I can hold you.

SPEAKER_02 19:21

In a black in a dominoes, did you not play Doctor Moses at the house? Okay. Okay, card spades, same thing. You know, right.

SPEAKER_04 19:28

Hey, look, I can hold you. My brothers, if we get on the spades table, it's getting disrespectful. Okay. It's getting disrespectful.

SPEAKER_02 19:33

But that's guy time.

SPEAKER_04 19:34

But I'm saying, but like it's also based on the dynamic of guys you have. Like, if some guy, like, you know what I mean? Like, if you got some friends who just enjoy that environment, cool.

SPEAKER_02 19:42

You got the wrong group of friends. I'm sorry. No, no, if you're. Just my opinion.

SPEAKER_05 19:45

You're talking about people in their like 50s. No. Okay, no.

SPEAKER_02 19:49

I'm talking about if you're a married man and you're hanging out with a bunch of single guys that are not married, and their preference is to go to the strip club every time you guys link up. No, not every strip club. Not every time.

SPEAKER_04 19:59

It's not exactly like let's say it's me, Sean, and like four other guys, and we rotate who want to go where. Suspicious. Who wanna go where? If we get to somebody else and they say, hey, I'm trying to go to penthouse because I want to go get the, you know, I want to go eat at Penthouse and go do the one too. Okay, cool. That's your choice. That's your choice. Now, look, now look, I'm biased.

SPEAKER_02 20:18

No, watch it. I'm biased. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 20:20

Somebody hurts you. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 20:21

No, I just don't think that that's a productive place for a faithful or married man to be. It's just, I think it's a sinful environment. You got T and A walking around, you're drinking, people are smoking. It's just, it's an environment for temptation.

SPEAKER_04 20:39

It's like I go to the beach to say, thank you.

SPEAKER_02 20:41

What was that one song I think Kanye said? How you stay faithful in a room full of hoes?

SPEAKER_05 20:47

Hasn't he been divorced like five times? Kanye. I can't go to the bar. I can't go to Walmart.

SPEAKER_02 20:53

That's case in point. You said Kanye's been divorced like five times, so wouldn't he know how he got divorced?

SPEAKER_05 20:58

So we're not listening to none of his advice.

unknown 20:59

Exactly.

SPEAKER_05 21:01

When did he make that song? When did he make that song? That's a real question.

SPEAKER_02 21:05

Well, he's he's gonna teach you how to divide it.

SPEAKER_05 21:06

He married Kim K. I'm not trying to hear nothing. He was hollering at the ball. Well, now he's losing half his net worth to that chick Bianca. It don't matter.

SPEAKER_04 21:13

He married Kim K, who made fame off being promiscuous.

SPEAKER_01 21:16

A 304.

SPEAKER_04 21:17

That part. That part. Thank you. Thank you. I needed a way to segue that. Wait, wait, that 304? What does that mean? If you spell it out, you'll you'll if you type it in.

SPEAKER_05 21:25

404?

SPEAKER_04 21:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:26

The word she said two minutes ago.

SPEAKER_04 21:28

Yeah. She's a hoe. Oh. She's a hoe. I can say it. I forgot. We can say it. But my big thing is. I don't want to say it.

SPEAKER_02 21:36

He's trying to envision it. I'm trying to do it.

SPEAKER_04 21:38

You try to picture it. It's a 403. You said it backwards.

unknown 21:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:41

Same thing, same thing. It's a 304.

SPEAKER_04 21:44

Same thing, same thing. Sounds like an area.

SPEAKER_02 21:46

The three would be the E. Oh wow.

SPEAKER_04 21:49

Yeah, 403. Same thing.

SPEAKER_02 21:50

Yeah, I was over here like I'm a millennial.

SPEAKER_04 21:53

No, but I think, I think for guys, I understand your concerns, and that wouldn't work for you. That would not work for you. Now, let's say, example, again, you, Manny, let's say Vince and Steven. And y'all saying, and we go together, and we saying, they talking about the strip club. Me personally, during my transparency, the boys want to do X, Y, and Z. They want to go to eat. They want to go to the penthouse afterwards. Vibe, whatever, and then come home. Are you, are you coming? Are you trying to come? I'm not opening new doors. Wait, wait, wait. Ready? Watch, watch, watch, watch. But are you okay with me going, yes or no?

SPEAKER_02 22:29

Hell no.

SPEAKER_04 22:30

Okay, cool. Hell no. Wait, ready? Absolutely not. Ready? So my response is I'll meet them for dinner and we can go do something afterwards.

SPEAKER_02 22:37

And that's respecting boundaries.

SPEAKER_05 22:38

And what if you say, well, I can't meet you afterwards? Okay, well, then can I go and hang out with my friends?

Vetting Partners: Standards, Faith, Red Flags

SPEAKER_04 22:46

If she says no, and if she says no, she says no, and that's my lady, as in that situation, in that space, I gotta go. You know what, guys? I meet up with you for food. I can't go. I don't, you know, I believe in the happy wife, happy life. Nope, nope, but here's why. The happier your lady is, the less stress I gotta deal with. Because the last thing I wanna do, I don't even know what Choncalta's at my head.

SPEAKER_01 23:12

Y'all, women are very simple. We are. We really are. Y'all just overcomplicate things because y'all just don't want to.

SPEAKER_05 23:20

Shows how simple. What do you mean? Tell us.

SPEAKER_01 23:23

We're very simple. Like just, I mean, aside from the world. Do everything. So using this example. No, I know what you're gonna say. No. So using this example, Jack. Absolutely. He nailed it right on the head. Just respect boundaries. And it's just men just men, it's an ego thing. It's a testistic. What do you mean? Now it's a pride. They don't want to feel like you're being controlled. They don't want to feel like they're being told what you do. You do. It's not about my mama.

SPEAKER_02 23:45

Not even my mama tells me.

SPEAKER_04 23:46

But that falls into that falls into it. It's not even about audience.

SPEAKER_02 23:49

It's respect. No, it's about competition. Telling me what to do.

SPEAKER_04 23:51

It's not about competition. Women want to control.

SPEAKER_02 23:56

If a woman is not comfortable with something and it makes her feel uncomfortable, then that should be respected. Depends on what it is. No, depends on what it is. No, it doesn't. Let me ask a question.

SPEAKER_05 24:05

So now it's three against one. No, no, I'm just saying.

SPEAKER_02 24:07

Sean. All right. What do you want to ask, Sean?

SPEAKER_01 24:09

What are you not okay with your wife doing? That's a great question.

SPEAKER_05 24:15

One thing, sleeping with another man. That's it. She could do anything else.

unknown 24:19

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 24:20

What if she said to the chick?

SPEAKER_02 24:21

But you know what though? I think it's easy to say that.

SPEAKER_04 24:24

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 24:24

I feel like it's easy to say that when she doesn't do anything. Oh, yeah, I don't care. She can do whatever. You know she's not going to do that.

SPEAKER_05 24:31

She doesn't do anything.

SPEAKER_02 24:32

Exactly. That's why.

SPEAKER_01 24:33

Now, if she walks out there showing her.

SPEAKER_05 24:36

Well then. Well then guess what? Oh, no, no. She can't strip either.

SPEAKER_01 24:40

No, no, that's not what I mean. I just dress like rocketed. Out there dancing on the bar, showing her butt cheeks, showing her.

SPEAKER_05 24:46

She can't do that either.

SPEAKER_01 24:47

Whatever.

SPEAKER_05 24:47

So now there's more rules. Well, I mean, I didn't realize she was gonna list off this.

SPEAKER_01 24:52

Well, yeah, I'm talking about girl walling out when she goes out.

SPEAKER_05 24:55

No, that's fine. She doesn't go out.

SPEAKER_04 24:56

Sean, wait a minute.

SPEAKER_01 24:57

But if she did.

SPEAKER_04 24:58

No, she can't do all that. Excuse me. You stop it. We will pick this back up on part two of M Maxy Trust of Ms. Yaz, Miss Ashley, and Sean. I gotta like, comment, subscribe, smash that notification button. Stay tuned.

SPEAKER_05 25:10

You know what I really hate when you're gonna be able to do that? All right, we're back for part two, and Sean is getting verbally beat on in here. You know what? It depends on who's keeping score, because I feel like I'm winning. You definitely got a lot of things.

SPEAKER_02 25:25

We had to let the people decide.

SPEAKER_04 25:27

Round one was a solid split. Okay, you had some valid points in it. Ding ding ding. You know what I mean? They are trying to two on one, so I feel like your points carry more weight. Well, you mean three-on-one. Look, I am partial.

SPEAKER_02 25:38

Right is right and wrong is wrong. Max is gonna speak to what's right.

SPEAKER_04 25:42

Go ahead, Max. I'm a guy's guy. I'm a guy's guy at the end of the day. You know, every now and again you gotta go, Max, what'd you see? Huh? I don't know what you're talking about.

SPEAKER_01 25:51

Just like you did earlier? Right. Oh, yeah. I was gonna bring that up. Oh, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 25:56

My buddy, my buddy's baby mama hit me up. Was he at the club on Thursday? Huh? Who is this? I don't know who this is. I don't talk to strangers.

SPEAKER_01 26:04

All of a sudden he knows Spanish. Okay?

unknown 26:06

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 26:08

That's called guys code. Mandatory.

SPEAKER_02 26:10

Listen, but the other guy shouldn't be putting their friend in a compromising position where they have to lie.

SPEAKER_05 26:15

Well, what makes you think that the guy put his wife because his baby mama shouldn't be texting max about a goddamn thing.

SPEAKER_02 26:20

Because clearly he told the baby mom that he was with him. That she felt the need to reach out. It don't matter. It don't matter. It don't matter what he told her. She shouldn't go and hang out with so and so and so-and-so.

SPEAKER_05 26:31

Well, it depends on how well he knows the baby mama.

SPEAKER_04 26:33

I don't know his baby mama at all. I never met this lady in life.

SPEAKER_01 26:37

And she got your number?

SPEAKER_04 26:38

Yeah, how'd she get your number? Screenshot of uh my conversation with him.

SPEAKER_01 26:41

Oh Lord Jesus.

SPEAKER_04 26:43

So there should be no reason to hit me up.

SPEAKER_02 26:45

Well, tell your friends to do better.

SPEAKER_05 26:49

Bring it closer because the the camera's gonna No, no, no. I got it. Lift it higher. If you lift it higher, I need to be higher. It just needs to be closer. Yeah, that's it.

SPEAKER_04 26:58

Yeah, just put it right in the titties. There you go. What? Look, see, she did it. Now he can hear her. Moving on. You can't hit me. Ain't no papa's by me. Okay. Coco Tasso.

SPEAKER_01 27:10

Coco Tasso. He said ain't no Pop Os. No Pop House.

SPEAKER_04 27:16

No. Look, I ain't scared of nobody under 5'5.

SPEAKER_01 27:20

I'm gonna need you to stop threatening.

SPEAKER_04 27:22

I'm not. I just said I ain't scared of nobody.

SPEAKER_01 27:24

I'm vertically challenged.

SPEAKER_04 27:25

That's not my fault.

SPEAKER_01 27:26

Vertically. Me too. Me too.

SPEAKER_04 27:27

Well, they all they both got heels on trying to act like they're tall today.

SPEAKER_01 27:30

I had to look like an adult. It's not my fault.

SPEAKER_04 27:33

You look like you go to Chuck E. Cheese today. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 27:36

Let's get back to Sean.

SPEAKER_05 27:37

Oh, let me. We got Sean. Yeah, you said you had a question you wanted to ask her.

SPEAKER_01 27:41

Yeah, I was asking you, what is Jen not allowed to do? But she had a fair point that you only agree that she's, you know, she can do whatever she wants because she don't do nothing. So it's easy for you to say, oh, she can do whatever.

SPEAKER_02 27:52

Because you know her personality, you know, as a person. Sure. If she was a one, but what if she wanted to? What if she was a previous hot girl?

SPEAKER_05 27:59

Well, I'm saying that no.

SPEAKER_04 28:02

No, but it sounds like my wife. It sounds like you did your due diligence with your back stage and got to know the person you were gonna be in a long-term relationship with so that the things that you were uncomfortable with are not gonna be a problem down the line. That is so good! That is so good. Yes, uh, I told you.

SPEAKER_02 28:20

This is why the better vet they're men.

SPEAKER_05 28:23

So in the beginning of the relationship, I told her, hey, listen, I'm gonna live my life. You're just a part of my life, and it's gonna go the same way from your life. I'm just gonna be a part of your life. We're gonna be partners. Right. That is what it is, and this is what I do. If you don't like it, don't marry me. And then, I mean, we got married within five months, and we've been married eight years. When you know, you know, and when it works, it's not working. And when it works, it works.

SPEAKER_02 28:47

Our lives just so happen to be compatible, right? Because you're like, hey, you be you, I'm gonna be me, and you know, and if it works, it works. And if not, then no hard feelings. Yeah, but the issue is oftentimes women think they can change a man.

SPEAKER_04 29:00

Thank you. Thank you. No, no, back up, back up.

SPEAKER_02 29:02

I think men also think they can change women.

Character Over Temptation: Why Men Cheat (Or Don’t)

SPEAKER_04 29:04

I'm sorry, what wait, what did you say? You were transparent about who you are in the beginning. In the beginning. And she trusted what show somebody who you are and trust what they say.

SPEAKER_01 29:14

Believe who they show you they are. Okay, now question number two.

SPEAKER_04 29:18

Oh, here you go.

SPEAKER_01 29:19

I don't know your personal life, I don't know nothing from your past. So, but you know, you know what you've done, whatever. Would you be okay with her doing all of the stuff that you do or have done?

SPEAKER_05 29:29

I'd all I do is go to the strip club once every four three months.

SPEAKER_01 29:34

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 29:34

What's wrong with that?

SPEAKER_01 29:35

So you're okay with her doing that too?

SPEAKER_05 29:36

Yeah, go right ahead.

SPEAKER_01 29:37

So what if she was let's go.

SPEAKER_05 29:38

Just don't spend my money on dick. Oh, valid. Wow.

SPEAKER_01 29:42

If you're gonna spend it in your own money, she, because and I'm speaking just because we're women and we know this. If she starts to go through some. What?

SPEAKER_05 29:51

Huh? If she starts to go through what?

SPEAKER_01 29:53

Some like midlife crisis, like men do. You know, after we get 40, we we go through things emotionally and mentally.

SPEAKER_05 29:59

And my wife's 41.

SPEAKER_01 30:00

Okay, so if at 43, 44, 45, she starts feeling like I'm feeling old, I'm looking old, I want to feel young and make her feel beautiful. And she wants to start being a hot girl.

SPEAKER_05 30:12

What's a hot girl?

SPEAKER_01 30:14

She starts to have a midlife crisis.

SPEAKER_02 30:15

She wants to be out.

SPEAKER_01 30:16

She wants to be sexy. She's dressing in like stuff she don't ever wear. She wants to be outside. She wants to be drinking mimosas with the girls every weekend, coming home drunk by 7 p.m. You know, like she just wants to- But I don't do that. But what if she wanted to have a moment in her life? If she's having a moment and she's going through this phase that may last two, three years.

SPEAKER_05 30:36

Well, then I'm gonna have to go back to what Max said. Uh Max is saying, hey, I'm gonna do this. You're invited, right? If she's doing that, no problem. Because I'll probably go hang out with some chicks, okay, no problem. I mean, have conversations.

SPEAKER_04 30:50

And as a protective provider, you are. You would go to make sure that she could do all this she wanted to do. And she could drive away. My job is to get you there, let you have your fun, get you and your party back safely.

SPEAKER_01 31:00

So the only boundary is there's no do's around that. The only boundary is we don't sleep with other people.

SPEAKER_05 31:06

That's make out that nothing sexual about anybody else. Rule.

SPEAKER_01 31:11

I'll just make it sure.

SPEAKER_05 31:12

That's that's like a duh. That would be called cheating. Yes. That's it.

SPEAKER_01 31:17

That's a topic.

SPEAKER_05 31:18

Are we going that to the is that what happened with uh the divorce? No, absolutely not.

SPEAKER_02 31:26

We were young. Should we do cheating or should we segue into how to properly vet a partner? Let's do that.

SPEAKER_05 31:31

Properly vet a partner. But I feel like we already did that on her part.

SPEAKER_02 31:35

We did, but did we do it good enough? Right. Did we go into it or did we unpack it? Okay. I want to hear your perspective. I mean, red flags, right? We talked about red flags, so obviously, I mean, identifying red flags, but I think you made a really great point with how you and your wife met and the tone that you kind of said at the beginning of, hey, this is me, this is you. But how else can you properly, if you know, women out here dating, they're exploring. It's there's pee in the dating pool, in the dating uh there's a lot more than pee. Yeah. So how do you or how would you encourage or suggest to properly vet a partner? As a woman?

SPEAKER_01 32:14

As a Christian. As a woman.

SPEAKER_02 32:15

As a Christian woman.

SPEAKER_01 32:20

Um, as a Christian woman, um, it's it's could be I would ask, how much do you make?

SPEAKER_05 32:27

How long are you? And um how what?

SPEAKER_01 32:31

That's definitely not on the menu of questions. I mean, honestly, uh for a Christian woman, our primary goal is to find a godly man, right? Because the word says we cannot be unequally yoked. Um, if you don't know what that means, look it up. Read the Bible.

SPEAKER_04 32:48

Explain it to a couple people.

SPEAKER_01 32:49

Um, unequally yoked is just you can't have, for example, light and darkness. So you can't be a Christian woman dating somebody who's in the world.

SPEAKER_05 32:58

I thought she was gonna say a dark man. I said, Well, I thought she was in the world. I don't know, is that the way you were going?

SPEAKER_01 33:02

No, like a man who he who hangs out at pH, and a man who likes to spend money, a man who gambles, a man who'll be in the club, a man who drinks, a man who has other bad habits, drugs, whatever, a man who watches pornography, um, a man who has lustful lifestyle tools.

SPEAKER_05 33:23

What are you looking for?

SPEAKER_01 33:24

Unicorn or yeah, they're out there. They're out there.

SPEAKER_05 33:27

The pool is very intermediate.

SPEAKER_02 33:30

Intermax. But he talks about going to pH with and gambling. Yes, and going to the noodle bar.

SPEAKER_05 33:38

And going to the noodle bar.

SPEAKER_02 33:39

Chuck in 1800, you know, on camera.

SPEAKER_05 33:43

So basically you want.

SPEAKER_02 33:45

I'm not gonna DQ him just because he drinks alcohol, but are you getting, you know. Inebriated. Yes.

SPEAKER_05 33:50

So you want a sober man with no vices that goes to church. Yep. Well, shit. The only place you're finding that is at church. And that's fine. And even then.

SPEAKER_02 34:01

There's no guarantee. But a man can sit here and say that he's a godly man, but do his actions align, right? And I agree with a lot of what you're saying. You know, mine differs just a little bit. You know, just a poor person.

SPEAKER_00 34:13

That's a pro person.

SPEAKER_02 34:14

Um, I think the only tweak that I have is, you know, I socially drink, you know, I'm not gonna be out here getting all crazy.

SPEAKER_05 34:19

She's bombed right now on the podcast, guys. Oh, let's take it.

Friend Zone On Trial: Does It Even Exist?

SPEAKER_01 34:22

And drinking is fine because it's block a straight line. Drop the potential keyless. That's fine because I like my wine. Oh, hypocrite. We're gonna shiva inebriate. I think what's because the Bible says you can drink turn water into wine. Why? Jesus has wine. Yeah, it's not it's about drunk sloppy and doing unbiblical things that you're not supposed to be. Right.

SPEAKER_04 34:45

So if he's a casual, like, okay, he got a cigar on the porch with a with whiskey with a little ice in it.

SPEAKER_01 34:51

That's between him and God.

SPEAKER_04 34:53

Well, Jesus. There it is.

SPEAKER_02 34:54

Okay, so back to like my question how does a woman properly vet a man? How does she know if he's really, you know, a man of God? Are there questions that she should ask? I mean, obviously, the obvious, right? Look at his actions. Aside from that, like, how else can she determine?

SPEAKER_01 35:11

Yeah. Is he qualified? Um, well, first and foremost, does he believe in discernment? You know, discernment is very important, not just in church, just overall in life. You need to discern a lot of things, who you hang with, business decisions, money, you know, finances. Discernment is very important. So, I mean, when you ask God for discernment, that alone will guide you into, first of all, if you have that discernment, you're gonna see the red flags. Because let me tell you, when men are very good at hiding and masking things, baby, and they they'll be good three to six months, heck, even a year. And then y'all move in together or y'all get married, and boom, surprise. Here I am. This is who I really am, right? You know, and I've been a victim of that. And a lot of men judge women for their choice of man or their choice of baby daddy, but y'all don't get it. She got bamboozled. Y'all don't get how men, and you know, and when we're in love, I can say sometimes we can be blinded by that. We don't have that discernment, you know, because we love we see the potential, right? And we think we can change certain things, right? But um, obviously look for the red flags. Um, you know, always follow his actions. Don't ever listen to just what he says. You have to pay attention to everything he does. It's all in the details of what he does. Is he considerate? If you're going through something, is he there mentally and emotionally for you? If you haven't, you know, some type of physical issue like car problems or whatever, is he gonna go out of his way to try to help you? It's little stuff. It's not just about the whining and dining. It's that's just on the surface, that's just superficial, you know. Is he considerate of your feelings?

SPEAKER_02 36:48

Like if you set a boundary, I'm not really comfortable with that. Right. Does he care enough to not want to do those things? Correct.

SPEAKER_01 36:54

And so is he okay with conversations? Some men don't like to talk about feelings, they don't want to get too much. Are they emotionally intelligent? That part.

SPEAKER_05 37:01

What if they do all those things that you just said, but they're 350 pounds, five foot five?

SPEAKER_01 37:07

Then you need to have a discussion with God.

SPEAKER_05 37:09

Is this so then so that it matters about how he looks too?

SPEAKER_01 37:14

As long as you're attracted to him. There you go. Not all my exes are attractive. I mean I've had some very questionable looking sorry, y'all.

SPEAKER_04 37:24

But we love all of the lessons and experiences we've learned.

SPEAKER_01 37:28

Yeah, it's all everything is a learning process. So as long as I'm attracted to him, I don't care if anybody else thinks he's ugly, but hey, if he has all these qualities and and I and a lot of times for women, men are visual, yeah. But for women, even though he could be like a good solid six or a five, if he's a good man, we're gonna see him as a 10 or 11. That's true. Like, baby, you are that man. You are the man.

SPEAKER_05 37:53

He got rated on the podcast yesterday. Oh, they didn't. They did me with a six and a half. I said, that's cool. Actually, it's 6.75. 6.75. 6.75.

SPEAKER_02 38:02

What do you think makes a man cheater? What causes a man to cheat?

SPEAKER_05 38:05

Oh, we are. No pussy.

SPEAKER_01 38:06

No, a man cheats because a man wants to cheat.

SPEAKER_04 38:09

Point blank, period.

SPEAKER_01 38:10

Max, what's your take on this? Well, go ahead. Sorry. I thought you were.

SPEAKER_02 38:15

No.

SPEAKER_04 38:17

That's part of it. That's part of it. That's my thought process.

SPEAKER_02 38:20

Character is gonna determine whether they take advantage of that opportunity.

SPEAKER_04 38:23

Absolutely. Like it's a matter of like.

SPEAKER_01 38:25

Because I have been the whole wifey. I have cooked, cleaned, bedroom, everything taken care of. Ain't nothing for him to complain about. That's cool. And he still went out and cheated. And that was a him problem. That wasn't a me problem.

SPEAKER_04 38:37

But see, here's the thing. Women take it as, like, let's say you let's say you get cheated on. You take that as it's because you did something wrong.

SPEAKER_02 38:45

It's personal.

SPEAKER_04 38:46

At the end of the day, it got for men cheat. It ain't got rarely has anything to do with you.

SPEAKER_05 38:52

If you're having sex once a month, no, it doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_04 38:55

It doesn't matter. Guys will come in, guys will knock their old lady down seven days a week, twice on Sunday. And still cheat. And still cheating. And still cheat. I know men like that.

SPEAKER_02 39:05

Because at the end of the day, sex and comfort was the two reasons why men cheat. Sex and comfort.

SPEAKER_04 39:09

So it ain't got nothing to do with her. It's a this girl's here. I got to have it.

SPEAKER_02 39:15

The opportunity is there.

SPEAKER_04 39:16

Obviously there. And at the end of the day, there's something that's bringing me comfort. So now we gotta ask you the question.

SPEAKER_05 39:21

Yeah. Have you ever cheated on a significant other? One good time, one time.

SPEAKER_02 39:25

One time. One time. One time for the one time.

SPEAKER_05 39:27

What do they say about once you cheat once?

SPEAKER_02 39:29

Always a cheater.

SPEAKER_01 39:30

Once a cheater, always a cheater. I think that's what they say. I don't necessarily believe that because I've seen relationships. I mean, obviously. I agree. They've gone to church and changed their lives around. Sorry. Like immature, right? Sorry. Like when you're yeah, but I've seen marriages that, you know, I would look at her and I would feel so bad for her because this man was outside. And I used to be like, oh my god, she's and they have kids and they have a house and they, you know, and she's just thinking that she's got the greatest life because she didn't. Does she have a clue? Did she know? Um, well, it's multiple couples. But yeah, some of them knew. They knew and they they were just like dealing with the foolishness. And they would break up and get back together and break up and get back together. And now they're solid. They're solid. These men don't look to the side. They won't even like all sides.

SPEAKER_05 40:16

No, but at the end of the day it's it's a it's a maturity thing because at the end of the day, like, if your man cheated on you, would you guys ever say, okay, we're gonna continue our relationship?

SPEAKER_01 40:26

I left the first time they cheated.

SPEAKER_05 40:28

If your chick ever cheated on you, would you ever say it's okay, yeah, we're gonna be that guy.

SPEAKER_04 40:32

I've been that guy where I've been cheated on and stayed. Oh no. I've been that guy.

SPEAKER_05 40:38

I didn't know that. Yeah. What about you, Ashley?

SPEAKER_02 40:41

I think it depends on the circumstances.

SPEAKER_05 40:43

So it has happened for you also.

SPEAKER_02 40:45

I didn't stay though.

SPEAKER_04 40:47

No, you didn't. I'm the only dummy in the room. Got it.

SPEAKER_01 40:50

No, you're not a dummy, but I know. She said it happened to her. No, you're just a good man because men, remember, men love differently from women. Yeah. You know, men love genuine, sincere. Yeah. Women sometimes just love for opportunity and materialistic stuff, you know. But you were a good man because you thought I love her so much. I just wanted to see we could work it out. It doesn't necessarily mean that you're dumb. Now, sometimes men continue to stay with somebody out of opportunity. Five years, ten years, and they still get cheated on. Then I'm like, okay, bro, you gotta How old were you?

Delusion, Intuition, And Leaving When Cheated

SPEAKER_04 41:24

When I got cheated on? 20. Ready? I'll do you like this. Dated for six years. The first thing I found out about was maybe in like year two.

SPEAKER_02 41:38

Oh, wow. During that six years.

SPEAKER_04 41:41

Stuck for four more years. She had cheated for three of those four.

SPEAKER_05 41:44

Oh man.

SPEAKER_04 41:45

Oh wow. I found out on the like that year six. Found out. Oh, but you didn't know. I didn't know. I didn't know, but like, oh, okay. Well, you didn't know. It don't help the hurt. Right. She's still I'm looking three other grown men in the face with them beating the doors off my old lady while I'm over here working two jobs. Oh, wow. You know what I'm saying? Like that's the worst. Yeah, I'm saying, like, at the time, like, bro, you also gotta look at it, like my situation. I had, I was at that point leaving work because she was up, like, she'd be upset about something. I go leave work because she'd be upset. Like, my world revolved around.

SPEAKER_02 42:22

And that's the problem. That's the problem.

SPEAKER_04 42:24

What was she? Was she like in the city? Come on, man.

SPEAKER_02 42:27

That's an unhealthy man. That was an unhealthy trait.

SPEAKER_00 42:30

Yeah, no, but he didn't know.

SPEAKER_02 42:32

Nobody's world, and even if let's say she didn't even exist. Yes. Let's put that to the side just for a second. Your world can't revolve 100% around anybody. Thank you. Because when it does, you're putting yourself in jeopardy because now everything that you have is invested in this person. You have your you don't have your own identity. Correct. You don't have your own hobbies, activities to distract you. Everything's, oh, oh, you heard. Okay, let me come. No. Yeah. Babe, I'm so sorry. Okay.

SPEAKER_05 42:57

Um I like the sound effects.

SPEAKER_02 43:00

I'm very animated. Sorry, y'all. Um, it's just part of my personality. But um, yeah, I mean, your world, it's just you can't put everything around one person.

SPEAKER_04 43:09

It's okay. She missed the glow up. It was beautiful. I loved it. Because at the time, I didn't look like this team with a solid four. Okay. I was a solid three. Now you moved up, well, you said 6.5, 65. 6.75. It was a solid four. I had braces, braids, you remember. I had braids, whole nine. I cut the hair off, got grown.

SPEAKER_01 43:28

The thick glasses.

SPEAKER_04 43:29

Big boy joints.

SPEAKER_01 43:30

Coke bottles.

SPEAKER_04 43:31

You had an Aphra? What? I had braids. I had braids. You remember?

SPEAKER_01 43:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 43:35

Yeah, braids.

SPEAKER_05 43:36

Long joints. How long have y'all known each other for? Oh God, that long, huh? It's been a minute.

SPEAKER_01 43:43

I don't know, 12.

SPEAKER_05 43:44

12, something like that. 12 years?

SPEAKER_01 43:47

When was it that you was? That was 2012?

SPEAKER_05 43:50

12, 13?

SPEAKER_04 43:51

11? Somewhere.

SPEAKER_01 43:52

Something along those lines, ladies and gentlemen. But it's been a hot minute.

SPEAKER_04 43:56

It's been a hot minute. Because at that time I still had the braids whole night. And I was all of a buck 75, maybe.

SPEAKER_01 44:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 44:03

Nigga got in the gym. It's different now. It's different, man.

SPEAKER_02 44:07

We had to ask you this. What do you think the reasons are that men don't cheat? So for the men who don't cheat, why do you think they don't cheat on it?

SPEAKER_04 44:14

Yes, sir. Yes, sir. They've been cheating on you, but yes, sir, no cheating. I've never cheated on my wife. There you go.

SPEAKER_02 44:19

And what do you think keeps you from cheating on your wife?

SPEAKER_05 44:21

I love my wife.

SPEAKER_02 44:22

You love your wife, you respect your wife.

SPEAKER_05 44:24

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 44:25

You don't want to jeopardize what you have.

SPEAKER_05 44:27

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 44:27

Your character, your morals?

SPEAKER_05 44:29

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 44:29

Have you ever cheated before?

SPEAKER_05 44:30

No.

SPEAKER_02 44:31

In the past? Like ever? No. Never, ever? Other relationships?

SPEAKER_05 44:34

Never.

SPEAKER_02 44:35

That's your character. Good job, Sean. Character.

SPEAKER_05 44:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 44:40

Character.

SPEAKER_05 44:41

And y'all were talking all that shit about just going to a strip club. I know.

SPEAKER_01 44:45

I still stand on what I said.

SPEAKER_05 44:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 44:47

I still don't like the strip club either. I stand what I said. But if you're not going to be able to do it, I never said at all.

SPEAKER_02 44:51

Me, I'm the type that, okay, if you want to go once or maybe twice a year, I don't know about once a quarter, but once maybe twice.

SPEAKER_04 44:57

So we're going to be a good one.

SPEAKER_02 44:58

It's like a special, hey, you know, all the guys are.

SPEAKER_05 45:00

But we also got clients that we have to schmooze also, and clients, where do they want to go if they're single? They want to go to strip club. But yeah, I never got a strip club. Especially if they're out of state. Especially if they're out of state. So what about those blah blah blah strip clubs? Look, let me show you. I buy the airport.

SPEAKER_01 45:21

But I never once thought that you were doing anything appropriate.

SPEAKER_05 45:28

I don't give lab dances. I don't give shit. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 45:31

It's just the boring type. He's at the bar.

SPEAKER_05 45:33

Boring type? He's a nigga at the bar.

SPEAKER_01 45:35

He looked like the boring one. He's a nigga at the bar. You don't even want to be approached. He got the RBF on.

SPEAKER_05 45:39

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 45:42

RBF. Not for you.

SPEAKER_05 45:44

I mean, because I I got my wedding ring on, and this is a symbol of unity.

SPEAKER_02 45:49

That's right. And you probably wear your ring, correct?

SPEAKER_05 45:51

Fuck yeah. All day. I love that.

SPEAKER_02 45:53

What do you think about men who are married that take off their ring?

SPEAKER_05 45:56

I think they're cowards.

SPEAKER_02 46:00

Crickets.

SPEAKER_05 46:01

So y'all didn't even know me, did you?

SPEAKER_02 46:03

But they judged you. Listen, nothing. So much judge. As a person, it has nothing to do with you as a person in your character. It's just to say the environment. It's. I don't know. Have you ever heard the saying like anybody can cheat in the right situation?

SPEAKER_05 46:20

Yeah, I wouldn't. And I love that for that. And it has. And I love that for death.

SPEAKER_01 46:24

But it's just putting yourself in a situation.

SPEAKER_02 46:29

It's a strip club.

SPEAKER_04 46:30

Or a gentleman's club, most of the time. It's a gentleman's club. You know what we know about that? These girls are going to lie to me.

SPEAKER_02 46:35

They're gonna apply pressure. They're gonna that's cool, but they want some schmonies. No, no, but they're gonna lie.

SPEAKER_05 46:40

They ain't touching me. It's it's literally like, okay. I get I get their job. I get their job. I get they they make you pretend like you're special, and then they take all your money. Because when I was single, they they tried to do that, and I was like, damn, y'all some smart, independent contractors.

SPEAKER_01 47:00

They are geniuses, but I'm smarter.

SPEAKER_05 47:02

You both I got an IQ of 135. So you just had to throw that in there.

SPEAKER_01 47:06

Fuck you.

SPEAKER_05 47:07

It's almost a genius. No, I'm I could be a mensa. Oh love that.

SPEAKER_04 47:13

Now, ladies, at one point in time, I believe both of y'all have worked in a nightlife. Yes. At some point. Bartender.

SPEAKER_01 47:19

In the gentleman's club. So I've seen quite a bit. And she knows first. And this is why I say the things that I say, all of them. All of them.

SPEAKER_05 47:28

You've worked at PH?

SPEAKER_01 47:30

Not PH. I didn't get hired at Dollhouse or PH because I was too thick.

SPEAKER_05 47:34

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 47:35

Just saying.

Domestic Conflict, Restraint, And Accountability

SPEAKER_05 47:37

Is there such a thing as too thick? At that time. During that time. Now no.

SPEAKER_01 47:41

Now's got some thickums. Yeah. Do they have thickums? Yeah, shout out to Luna. Shout out to Luna. Luna. Slim waist.

SPEAKER_04 47:49

Nah, we're not talking about Luna today. We're not talking about the thing.

SPEAKER_01 47:52

Slim waist.

SPEAKER_04 47:53

She was supposed to be on the waist. Oh my god. Slim waist and things.

SPEAKER_01 47:57

You know, anyway. But considering what they looked for, you know. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 48:03

You had to be petite, white. So you were there before the renovation.

SPEAKER_01 48:08

This was like, I started nightlife in 2012.

SPEAKER_05 48:12

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 48:12

All the way to 2017. 2018 is when I retired. Oh, yeah. But you were a bartender, though? Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 48:18

So you weren't a dancer.

SPEAKER_01 48:21

No.

SPEAKER_05 48:21

No, you were just bartender.

SPEAKER_01 48:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 48:23

So she got observed. Now let me let me flip the script. Why do you think it's okay to bartend at a gentleman's club?

SPEAKER_01 48:29

I didn't think it was okay. Not in a relationship. I was single. I was single at the time.

SPEAKER_05 48:35

If the math adds up, I don't know if you were.

SPEAKER_01 48:37

I mean, I worked a night like that in a relationship. I was yeah, I was very single at the time.

SPEAKER_05 48:41

2012?

SPEAKER_01 48:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 48:43

32.

SPEAKER_01 48:45

When I got in a relationship in 2016, I stopped bartending. No, no, no.

SPEAKER_05 48:50

The marriage. The marriage.

SPEAKER_01 48:51

Oh, marriage? Oh, that was 2000.

SPEAKER_05 48:55

When did you get divorced?

SPEAKER_00 48:56

Yeah, I was divorced.

SPEAKER_01 48:57

You were Judah.

SPEAKER_00 48:57

Oh, you were?

SPEAKER_05 48:58

And then you were like first thought was Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 49:01

I needed to survive.

SPEAKER_04 49:02

She's a pretty girl, visually attractive, with a skill set that matches. Yeah, bartending.

SPEAKER_01 49:09

I started off at Hush. That was and that was probably a side hustle for you, right? Yes. Of Armenian. This was 2012. Oh, back in the day. That was a little ref on gill. I've been 22 years old.

SPEAKER_05 49:23

No, no, I'm just I'm just saying like by pin chasers, I mean that's where Hush was, right? By pin chasers?

SPEAKER_04 49:32

No, we're not doing that.

SPEAKER_01 49:33

Yeah, so bullet hole.

SPEAKER_04 49:34

The bullet hole. The girl who just had a C-section yesterday and then got back on stage. You with the C-section and no kids. Man, what? Have you been to Hush recently?

SPEAKER_01 49:42

No, I haven't been to a club in ages.

SPEAKER_04 49:43

Man, look here. I see. Oh, my bad. Look, we'll get back to my Hush story on part three. Like, comment, subscribe, mash that notification button. We'll be right back. And part three of In Master We Trust with Miss Yads and Miss Ashley. And, you know, we talked about my little hurt about women cheating. So I feel like let's talk about it a little bit. Yeah, why do women cheat? Yeah, why do women cheat, Ashley?

SPEAKER_02 50:06

So I mean, I can't speak from experience. Okay.

SPEAKER_05 50:11

Is it gray sweatpants? Is that what does it mean? Oh no.

SPEAKER_02 50:14

So I saw I saw a podcast that um Max actually sent me, and it says women cheat for understanding and attention. Right. So you gotta think if a woman's in a relationship, her man's too busy, he's not giving her attention. I can totally see that, right? Like when you think about a woman who does step out, why they step out, it's gonna take a lot more. It's a much more um emotional investment versus a man can just so you're already setting up the next relationship, is what you're saying.

SPEAKER_05 50:43

Well, I think most women cheat is I've never been cheated on, but women cheat because they're already over the guy and they want emotional stability once they get out of that relationship because they want to be able to move on to the next relationship as quickly as possible. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 51:04

I don't know. Like I can see a woman who's in a relationship with a man who loves that man but is feeling like her needs aren't being met, or maybe she's sad, or maybe he's uh mistreating her, or whatever the case might be, right? Um and she's seeking that comfort or that uh understanding, like somebody who sees her, somebody who's given her that attention, who makes her feel pretty. Um, she's like seeking what she's not getting.

SPEAKER_01 51:30

But what about a woman that is getting all that and still decides that she wants to cheat? I don't think there's any other explanation for that.

SPEAKER_05 51:39

So you never cheated, have you? No. No. A lot. Damn.

SPEAKER_01 51:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 51:47

That's rough.

SPEAKER_01 51:48

I've only had two You know how to pick 'em, don't you? Hey. When you're young and dumb. Um but like I said, men put up this facade at first, and then once you're you know, it's like your guard is down. Yeah, once your guard is down, once you're in too deep, it's like, oh my god. But like I said, the good thing is I've always left the first time I got cheated on. Like I went through the same thing that Max did. I was with, you know, somebody for X amount of years, and in year three, year four, year five is when I was like, oh my god, you've been cheating on me this whole time.

SPEAKER_03 52:20

The whole time.

SPEAKER_01 52:22

The whole time? Oh, I've been going to school, I've been working on working two jobs, and I've you know, I'm coming home and you have you know, acting like everything's good and dad.

SPEAKER_02 52:30

I don't understand how a man can sleep at night. Yeah, listen. I don't understand how you sleep in peace. You know, outside in the streets and you just come home. Hey, babe.

SPEAKER_04 52:38

Why the woman can sleep at night? Why the woman can sleep at night? I don't work, I don't I don't work two jobs. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 52:42

I mean if he did her dirty and she was doing it back, I don't know. Maybe that's that's the only thing that I can. I know good men.

SPEAKER_04 52:48

If I'm out here working, help you with your school, right? Help you get your job, funding.

SPEAKER_02 52:53

She should feel she should feel this big.

SPEAKER_04 52:55

But I'm just saying, like, I don't understand how you sleep good at night knowing you done knocked off one from I don't know.

Lifestyle, Poly Temptations, And Dignity

SPEAKER_02 53:02

Like, I don't I don't understand how people have a conscience. Like, they can't have a conscience if they're you know able to do what they're doing and then come back and slay next to something. There is no rest for the wicked. There is no rest for the wicked. Ooh, I like that.

SPEAKER_01 53:15

They don't sleep, no rest.

SPEAKER_05 53:16

The wicked don't rest in peace.

SPEAKER_01 53:18

That's why they be on social media late at night, like I can't sleep. Yeah, because you wicked. All your demons are haunting you from all the stuff.

SPEAKER_05 53:27

Well, this kind of goes back to the vetting process. I didn't vet, uh but I didn't, I know I didn't. Oh, but you asked them about it.

SPEAKER_02 53:34

Yeah, but Jazz said that she didn't see any signs, and it's like, were there signs there? Like hindsight's always 2020. Like after you found out everything, when you looked back, I mean yeah.

SPEAKER_01 53:44

I was like, oh my god, how did I miss that?

SPEAKER_04 53:45

You know, because you are blinded by love or by the way they looked.

SPEAKER_01 53:50

That too. Yeah, pretty niggas. But he's so cute. I just always end up with them, but but I also didn't vet in some because I was young. Yeah, that's what I was like. I I literally didn't.

SPEAKER_05 54:02

I thought you were married when you were young.

SPEAKER_01 54:03

I was that's part of her her point. Yeah, I I literally was snatched. I went from living with my mom and dad for 18 years to just being married and being a mom and being a wife, and then that was it. You know, and so was he? Um, we're only a year apart, so I was uh 19 years ago.

SPEAKER_05 54:18

So high school sweetheart, I'm assuming.

SPEAKER_01 54:20

Well, we didn't go to the same school, no. No, but I started dating him my junior year of high school, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 54:25

Yeah, and then he got you pregnant in your senior year.

SPEAKER_01 54:29

I was graduating senior year, so we got married first, and then I was pregnant immediately after. Yeah, yeah. You've been waiting on this.

SPEAKER_05 54:37

I got drop the rubber, let loose. Let's get this done.

SPEAKER_01 54:43

But yeah, so that was that was a hot mess. But we were young, we didn't know what we were doing, you know. Like, I just knew like marriage, you're not supposed to get divorced. I didn't believe in divorce. But we didn't know what to do. Like, we were young, right? Just figuring out the biggest. You guys grew up, we were babies trying to raise a baby. I was ripped away from my family because I was moved here. Yeah, I didn't have my support, you know. I just had to rely on whatever support was around, which was his family. So I was just clueless. I was just trying to figure out, navigate, sure, being a wife, being a mom, and being away from everything that I knew my whole life at 20, 19, 20, 21 years old, you know.

SPEAKER_05 55:20

So we've asked Ashley what her type of guy is, right?

SPEAKER_01 55:23

I think we list my list.

SPEAKER_05 55:25

What what was your type of guy?

SPEAKER_01 55:28

Define type.

SPEAKER_05 55:29

I don't know. You define the type. I don't know. Let me land.

SPEAKER_02 55:34

He asked her a question. How you gonna land?

SPEAKER_05 55:36

Well, because he's gonna clear it.

SPEAKER_02 55:37

Because they're like a physical type, like he said you were like pretty boys. What's your ideal man, including everything?

SPEAKER_04 55:43

Race, height, weight. See, y'all making it confusing. Give me your physical needs, your emotional needs, and your personality trait needs. Go ahead. See, let me land.

SPEAKER_01 55:53

So physical, physical needs. Um say six foot, I'm gonna I said before, I said before, as long as I'm attracted to him again.

SPEAKER_05 56:02

Okay, yeah, but what are you attracted to? That's physical needs.

SPEAKER_01 56:06

Um what he looks like.

SPEAKER_05 56:08

Yes, what he looks like. That hence physical needs.

SPEAKER_01 56:10

The people want to it's it's just a lot, I mean it could go into a lot of things. He could be five, ten, or he could be six feet. He could, you know, I mean black guy, Asian guy, so you don't have a like you don't have a racial preference, you don't have a high preference, you don't have a I don't have a high preference, but I dately uh I mainly date most Latino and black men or a combination of both. Latino and black are a combination of both have to be cultured. There you go, you know, the food gonna be better. Yeah, it gotta be cultured. So I could we could go here, we could go there, we could go.

SPEAKER_04 56:42

We could pop out to any country and just be high.

SPEAKER_01 56:45

Around character traits and emotional. Um, it has to be emotionally intelligent.

SPEAKER_04 56:49

There you go.

SPEAKER_01 56:50

Absolutely, because I like to talk about stuff, I like to talk about feelings. Why are you feeling this way? Let's talk about why I'm feeling this way.

SPEAKER_04 56:55

So another beta. It doesn't have to necessarily be a beta, he could be an alpha in that sense as long as he's gonna be able to do it. Right.

SPEAKER_02 57:02

Why why does it have to be a beta to be emotionally intelligent?

SPEAKER_05 57:05

Yeah, you could be emotionally intelligent, but talking about your feelings and shit, cool. Yeah. But I mean, if that is the entirety of the conversation, kind of seems like that. I mean, we didn't say that the entire conversation.

SPEAKER_01 57:16

I want my man to be able to come to me if there's something that I did or said that bothered. In any type of way that he could be like, hey, babe, there was something that you mentioned at the outing that kind of rubbed me the wrong way, or I didn't like, you know, that you did this. And I'm I don't do arguing. We not I don't do all this yelling, yelling, bickering, I don't do none of that. Like we're gonna sit down like two civilized adults and we're gonna talk each other's language and we're gonna figure out and find some common ground. Now, there may be a point where we may agree to disagree, but we have to make sure that we don't treat each other differently moving forward. We're not holding grudges, we're not resenting each other because resent is uh very common in relationships, which leads to cheating. So I like to just like let's figure this out. What's the issue? Let's get and I don't like to beat around the bush. Right. I like to get straight to the issue, and I also don't like to bring up old stuff. Once we talk about it, it's done and over with. I don't ever want to talk about this. Which is why it's important to talk about it so that it can.

Final Takeaways: Respect, Simplicity, And Home

SPEAKER_05 58:15

So do you think like you need a way? Let's say you're out at an outing. Yo, as soon as you guys get behind closed doors, then you talk about it, right? Yes.

SPEAKER_02 58:24

You don't do it out in public.

SPEAKER_05 58:26

You don't do it in public and you don't do it five days later.

SPEAKER_01 58:29

Correct. If there's something that needs to be addressed, you nip it right in the butt when we leave. We're not embarrassing each other in public, and you always defend your partner in public no matter what happens. You defend, you stick by them, period, point blank. It don't matter because you're not gonna leave one of them looking crazy. You both gonna look crazy together. Because you both have to live with each other, you both go home at the end of the day together. So we whatever we hash out in public, you know, and then we'll just continue. If we need to leave, then we will leave. It's not that big of a deal. Like, I've you know, at this big age, I realize nothing is ever that serious. People just do too much. Yeah, people be over-exaggerating things, be too dramatic. Y'all be doing too much. Nothing is ever that serious. I'm a big jokester, so I mean I think everything is a joke. I I turn a joke into anything, like, you know, so it's like, let's just figure this out, let's talk about it and move on, move forward.

SPEAKER_05 59:22

What was the third thing? The um emotional, physical, physical, and then characteristics, right? Is that yeah, yeah, those three.

SPEAKER_01 59:31

Check out. Yeah, he gotta be funny because like I said, I I like to laugh. Everything is a joke. This is always comedy is my life. I live my life like I'm on I'm on a sitcom, you know. Like everything is funny to me. I like to take adventures, I love to travel, I love to explore, I love to do things. So he has to balance me out, you know. It's okay if like I'm a little extra, you know, I'm very animated, like Ashley said. I'm very uh uh, you know, because of how I grew up. I'm Puerto Rican. Whatever. Because I'm Latin. You know, because I'm Latina, whatever. From New York. Whatever. You know.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:05

Yeah, that's the biggest thing I think is New York.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:07

So it's like it's okay. You know, he could be quiet and mellow because we balance each other up there race here.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:14

What part of Long Island?

SPEAKER_01 1:00:16

Who said Long Island?

SPEAKER_05 1:00:17

She's Long Island. No, I'm sorry. Which part of New York? Which borough? She's making us bronze.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:21

The bronks.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:22

And my family's.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:23

I was born in Jersey. Okay.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:26

So you're not New York.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:27

I was born in Jersey and I grew up in New York. Uh between both.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:30

It's all the same shit.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:31

It is. No. Same thing.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:33

New Jersey is like the trash heap, isn't it? It's all the chip.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:38

New York has. Have you seen the rats? Have you been on the subject?

SPEAKER_05 1:00:42

I've never been the armpit of America.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:44

It's the tri-state. The whole tri-state. Not the armpit. Yeah, like Philly is loaded with trash bags.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:51

I heard there was a landfill in Jersey that New York State takes all the trash to New Jersey to drop that bill.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:59

Yeah. So did you see Jersey Shore?

SPEAKER_04 1:01:02

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. All right. The whole state. Done. Yeah. Get up out of there.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:06

Anyhow. But yeah. So that's your list. That's my list. Okay. That's a good list. Of course.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:11

Max, you checked off about 10 of those 15 things. That's okay. That's okay. Me and you as our greatest friends. I can't. Friend zoned her.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:20

Friend zoned.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:21

Wait, wait, wait. But you said there was no. Okay.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:26

Because you said it does exist. He says it doesn't.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:30

Okay, so I have a question for that. I'm glad you brought that up, Sean.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:33

But it doesn't.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:34

So he says a friend zone doesn't exist, but he just friend zoned you.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:37

Max says it doesn't exist.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:38

And Max also says that he's got a bunch of female friends. So you, let's say you were in a relationship.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:43

A lot of female friends.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:44

Okay, let's say you were in a relationship.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:46

The industry I was in.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:47

Max, let's say you were in a relationship. A person.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:52

A female, hopefully.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:56

So let's say you were in a relationship, right? And then you tell your partner that you have all of these female friends, but in the same breath, you say that the friend zone doesn't exist.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:05

Doesn't exist. Which means, oh shit.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:07

So damn, bro. Make it make sense. Damn, bro. He's got all of these female friends, but the friend zone doesn't exist.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:14

She's been thinking about this question for a moment.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:16

I told him, I said, wait till we do another podcast. Is your definition of friend zone, right? Platonic.

unknown 1:02:22

No.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:22

No, but she's not. No, no. Here go, here go.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:26

The definition of friend zone is someone who you had potential of being with or sleeping with, and it did not happen. Therefore, now you are zoned into the friend area.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:36

Yeah, that's talk to me, right?

SPEAKER_01 1:02:37

That is what a friend zone is. So what I think a friend zone is, is somebody who There you go.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:42

You knew I meant. Never had a chance.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:48

Never had a chance. That's friend zone. Nice, nice person. We're, you know, great, but just don't see it in a romantic way.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:56

Okay, but here's my friend. That is friend zone. That's true.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:58

It's still in the world. I will also say, I don't believe, me personally, I don't believe in men being friends with females. I don't do it. I don't do it. I don't do it. I am my man. I don't do it. I ain't know you going to hang out with no female. You got lunch with so-and-so. Vice versa. And you having conversations and text messages with the opposite sex? Hell no.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:16

Are you guys having lunch after this?

SPEAKER_02 1:03:20

Who having lunch?

SPEAKER_05 1:03:22

I'm just talking about you two.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:24

Us three.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:25

Y'all three. Oh, see? She adds another person into it. All of a sudden it's friend zone stuff. Because everything you just said goes against what your actions would be. What? So, what is the friend zone? What is the friend zone to you?

SPEAKER_01 1:03:42

What I explained. It's someone who in a relationship.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:45

If I'm in a relationship, there is no conversation. But I'm not right now. So for me to have friends as a guy.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:53

You know what? Max, you better stop lying to the people. Don't listen to you. See, he's gonna deny my love on camera. This is what we doing.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:13

Um, Max, stop playing with the people. But even for a woman.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:18

Like Ashley said, even for a woman. Well, if the guy had a chance.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:22

If the guy tried to approach her and she just wasn't attracted to him, was like, no.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:26

That's a friend zone.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:27

That's still a friend zone. That's a friend zone.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:28

That's what I would consider a friend. But you're saying there is a platonic never had a chance. What you're describing, that's not really a friend zone.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:35

Platonic to me is that neither party are attracted to each other. Never. That is platonic. We weren't attracted to each other. We never even, it never even crossed our minds to even dip our toe in that pond with pee. Um, just strictly platonic. That's we're talking about the dating pool or the pond. It's got pee and poop and it happened in 2020 because it got COVID in it too.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:00

So the friend zone is real.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:02

So I think the friend zone is real, meaning, like, hey, and this is just in my opinion. Now, for Max, my question to Max was if you believe in the friend zone, what is your definition of the friend zone? Because he he feels that there is no friend zone.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:17

That's what he says.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:18

So then what do you consider all of the female friends that you have if there's no friend zone?

SPEAKER_04 1:05:21

I'm glad you asked. Um, I don't believe in a friend zone, I believe in respecting my relationship.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:25

Okay, so how do you have female friends but no friend zones?

SPEAKER_04 1:05:27

I don't believe in the friend zone. I simply believe in respecting a relationship.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:31

So do you keep in contact with your female friends in a relationship while in a relationship?

SPEAKER_04 1:05:34

No, you're talking like my female flag teammates, coworkers, or of a friend who has a vagina.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:40

A point, period.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:42

Oh, actually, he's bringing up a good question.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:44

The person of the opposite sex. I'm asking like Well, let me elaborate. So let me land, let me land. So a person of the opposite sex who has access to you, they can text you, they can call you, they can go hang out with you. You want to depend on the situation.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:05

But respectfully. But I'm saying, but my thing is like in Flag, I play co-ed, so I've I've got female teammates, I've got I've got work.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:14

Relationships and friendships are different. That's what I'm saying. But that's in sports relationships.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:18

I've got I've got clients, I've got female friends who play in sports with me. No clients.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:24

I'm not talking about business. People that you hang out with only. Right? Don't matter. So somebody that you you were talking about non-work-related stuff about.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:35

So, okay, so you're saying, like, let's say we go together and she hit my line.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:39

Are you guys talking about work-related stuff? Are you talking about podcasts? Are you talking about No, no, none of that. None of that. Strictly. Shooting the breeze. Strictly. You are shooting the breeze.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:46

Y'all don't do anything organized. You guys just hang out.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:49

If it's just, if it's just a uh, hey, how are you? All right, cool, how the kids, da-da-da, cool, I can leave it there. I can leave it at surface level. I don't have no deep conversation with you. Call it what it is. Well, is that friend zone?

SPEAKER_02 1:07:00

He's he still hasn't answered my question. No, he hasn't.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:02

If if I'm in a relationship and a girl comes, hey, how are you? I'm good. Kids are good.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:06

There's no such thing as the friend zone, and then saying in the same breath that there is no such thing as the friend zone.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:12

Well, why are you reaching out? Because if I was they're your friends, is there a purpose or are you friendly?

SPEAKER_02 1:07:18

But the opposite sex.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:19

See, boy, don't nobody listen. I said, if she reaches out to me and say, hey, how are you? No, no, no. You reach out to her. Why am I reaching her?

SPEAKER_01 1:07:24

He should not reach out. It doesn't matter who initiated. But no, no, but are you engaging?

SPEAKER_05 1:07:28

But well, that means that if she reaches out to him, it's no longer friend zone. It's open territory. No, it's not.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:34

Look, if she comes out and talking about something, hey, how are you? I'm good. She seems like my kids are good. And you know who else is good? My lady's real good.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:42

He's trying to save it. You can't say it. So you have not explained to me the difference between having a female friend and there not being such a thing as a friend zone.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:53

It's not a friend zone. Exactly. There's not there's no such thing as a friend zone.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:56

Exactly. That's my point.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:57

Uh, but I already said that. I already said there was no friend zone. That's my original statement. Was there no such thing as a friend?

SPEAKER_02 1:08:03

So then what do you call them? You say I have a bunch of female friends, but there's no friend zone.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:06

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:07

How do you have the two?

SPEAKER_05 1:08:07

You want to input anything?

SPEAKER_01 1:08:09

I'm a blank, I'm blank right now.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:10

Yeah?

SPEAKER_01 1:08:11

She says she's an innocent bystander again.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:13

I have nothing to say because Well, you haven't friend zoned a guy?

SPEAKER_01 1:08:16

A million of them. So there is a friend zone. I'm just saying, what he's saying don't make sense. Right. Nothing he's saying is making sense. So it is confusing.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:24

That's why he's not directly answering the question.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:25

But say a friend zone is a friend zone is somebody where it's a one-sided thing where like someone is trying to be more, so you put them in that light. I thought you said there wasn't a friend zone. But that's the way they're explaining it. That's the way they're explaining it.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:36

Okay, so you don't have any oh you don't have any female friends that you friend zone that wanted something with you, and you were like, no.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:42

There we go.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:44

Talk about it. Okay?

SPEAKER_05 1:08:47

Go ahead.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:49

We gotta talk about yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:53

It was probably a passion. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, wait a second. Yeah. So are you about to prove yourself wrong? Maybe. Ready? Ready?

SPEAKER_01 1:09:02

Because I see where Ashie's coming from, but you can't say it.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:05

You can't say both. It's either there's a friend zone and then right.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:11

So is there one, Max? I guess.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:13

There's a few. There's a few.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:14

There's more than one. But I think there's levels to the friend zone.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:17

Yeah, you got tiers.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:18

Now there's levels. Now there's tiers. Okay.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:20

If they can make it to tier one, they got a they got an opportunity. But I mean, for me, in a relationship, I don't really You're not in a relationship. You're single.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:28

Right.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:29

Oh, single didn't.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:30

Friend zone, period. Oh, unless a friend zone exists or it doesn't exist. That's the question. That's the question. It exists. In a relationship or not.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:37

Hey, Sean, watch this. You right? Oh, okay. Here we go. Oh, that's the best way to argue with a Latino.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:42

I got it on camera. Y'all saw that? What do you say? He did something behind my back. What'd you do? No, you just said you right. That's it. Because he don't want to argue. Because there's no such thing as no friend zone or not having a friend zone. There are friends. Friend zone exists. The friend zone 100% exists.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:57

So then what's the advice to get out of the friend zone? Don't.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:02

Don't. Here's why.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:03

What do you mean don't?

SPEAKER_04 1:10:04

Don't get out of the friend zone. Here's why. Here's why.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:07

If you get in a relationship, absolutely you gotta get out of that friend zone. You cannot communicate with that person ever. No, no, no.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:14

That's not what I meant. That's not what he meant. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:16

All right, so what were you gonna say?

SPEAKER_04 1:10:18

If you're a guy who's been friend zoned by a girl, don't get out of that friend zone.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:22

Why?

SPEAKER_04 1:10:22

Stay in your lane.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:23

Screw it up.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:24

Stay in your lane.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:25

And why do you recommend that?

SPEAKER_04 1:10:26

Because you could fuck up a 15, 20-year friendship because you want to fuck. You try to get a one time for the one time. You know what? Then both of y'all are disappointed.

SPEAKER_05 1:10:37

People in the friend zone ain't trying to get out for the one time for the one time. They're trying to get out for to see what it can be.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:44

Wow.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:45

If I'm in the friend zone, I got to see your whole relationship art. I've seen how you treat him. I've seen how he treats you.

SPEAKER_05 1:10:53

And they called you and said, Oh my God, can you believe how he treated me?

SPEAKER_04 1:10:56

I see how you handle conflict. I get to see your toxic traits that you don't want to admit. Ooh, that's a good point. Hey, but you know what?

SPEAKER_02 1:11:04

They say some of the best relationships start off as friends and then you and you progress, right? Um I saw something that said, ladies, that guy that you've been curving for all these years, don't give him a chance. Because if you do, he's gonna mess your whole life up. It's like, what do y'all think about that? What do you call it?

SPEAKER_04 1:11:21

You call it the blueprint. Mm-hmm. Yeah. If you're in the friend zone, you've got the you've got the key, you've got all the affinity stones to be the first one. I could.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:30

He thinks he got the roadmap.

SPEAKER_05 1:11:32

It's all right. Well, he's got the blueprint because he knows.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:35

Just because you have the blueprint doesn't mean you got the the code to the safe. I'm just saying. Can you get inside?

SPEAKER_05 1:11:42

I mean, he may not have the code, but he's got the blueprint, and then you just gotta give him the combo.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:47

Look, I got look, once you're in a friend zone, you got the blueprint on how to treat her the way she deserves to be treated. If she can accept the fruit, expects to be treated.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:54

So is that you being real or is that you just trying to get you some?

SPEAKER_04 1:11:58

Why would it no? It could be a little bit of both. No, if you're trying to treat somebody how you how they should be treated, regardless of the end game, then that's what it is.

SPEAKER_05 1:12:07

That's another Avengers reference.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:09

See how I did that? Yeah, Marvel sponsor us too. Fuck it. Hell yeah. Let's get that. But I'm saying, like, you like I feel like women feel like at times men when they try to adapt for the benefit of them, it's like, oh, he just wanna get some. No? So you're just trying to treat you the right way. It's not always that. Because at the end of the day, let's be real.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:32

Seek your mind, Shine.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:35

If you're an average-looking dude and got some stuff going on for you, finding a chick to smash is not that hard. No shit.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:41

It's not to smash instead of substance.

SPEAKER_05 1:12:44

But but there's something about that chick that you could never smash that now is available, and you're thinking to yourself, that's a trophy. No, not I. On the personal shelf. I'm good on that.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:56

That's how y'all think for a trophy.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:58

Well, no, don't say y'all. That's how I think. He said trophies. I don't put this on me. I openly said I do not. He said no.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:07

Max said, speak for yourself. Are you trying to get me cased up right now?

SPEAKER_05 1:13:10

That was that was Sean speaking. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:13

Okay. Yeah. And don't put that on Max. Max ain't saying nothing of the kind. Max said he got the blueprint to try to treat you right.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:19

And sometimes you could just, you know, check that off and be like, oh, see, Sean's. Not as good as I thought it was. Not as good as I thought it was.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:26

And then just trying to remember that time they were trying to gang up on you, you giving them all the ammo right there. They don't talk about it.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:31

They were ganked up on that. I'm listening. Right. We're innocent by standard.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:37

Right. No, what does it matter? I mean, you got your own. Listen, if you don't speak your mind, if you don't speak your truth, then you are literally lying to yourself every time you speak. Valid.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:50

And look, look, look. Your truth landed you a wife for eight. Seven? Seven? Eight? Eight years. Eight years? Look at God. Finally do it.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:58

People do lie to themselves. It's like I always wonder that. I'm like, how do people like what does that mean?

SPEAKER_01 1:14:03

Delusional. Delusion. Delusional thoughts and how they own believe their own lies.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:08

They have convinced themselves of one thing and delusional. And then what's really funny? Delusion is an illness, it's a mental illness.

SPEAKER_05 1:14:16

It is. And then once you start saying what you mean, because listen, schools programmed us to just think one way. But once you stop giving a shit what people think, that's when you become your true self and you can exceed your own expectations and grow and succeed.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:34

We about to go to the next segment, but when we come back, let's talk. No smoke break. Women's delusion about relationships.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:45

It just gets better and better. Like, share, subscribe.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:51

All right. Final round. All right, we're back one more time. We're talking Deluland. I have a simple question for both of you ladies. Name a time you heard delulu in your previous relationships. It was the Lulu? Delusional. Dang.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:09

It's like those are questions you need to like really marinate on, right? To be put on the spot. I definitely had delusional moments. Um like believing an ain't she shit man can be shit. I think I was delulu in all my previous relationships. It's like you you have those roll-colored glasses. Let me tell y'all how delusoo I was about to glasses. Okay, you were young. Ain't no judgment here. Judgment right now. So my first relationship. And y'all can't judge either, because y'all know y'all don't know this stuff too.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:36

This is funny. I'm like, girl. Um my first relationship after my divorce. I'm like 22, 23. And we had a long distance relationship. He was fly, he would fly in, whatever. Cheater, cheater, cheater. This is the one that was cheating on me, and I didn't find out until like a year or three or whatever. Um I suspect that he was cheating. He was acting funny. I'm like, he's not answering the phone, give me excuses, always hanging out. I booked the flight overnight. Overnight, and I was in Atlantic City like the next day. And I was fighting.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:06

No, that's a determined woman right now.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:09

And I showed up at his doorstep at midnight. Boom, boom, boom. He was like, I said, give me a phone. Um yeah. I stayed there for like a weekend, and then I came back home and Oh wait, did you see anything? He would not let me get the phone. I was like fighting, we was like, thankfully, like no tussling, no alternative, you know, like physical domestic violence because we were at family's house. But I, you know, I try and then but but however, I did catch him when he came to see me and I did go through his phone. It was like five in the morning. I got up for work, he was sleeping the bed. I did go through his phone and I saw what I needed to see, and I chucked the phone at him while he sleep in the bed. And I woke him up. I was toxic. Now you were triggered.

SPEAKER_05 1:16:56

And he was like, This is a this is something that he did with somebody else where he was like, I chuck your phone, and then the chick got all upset. Because I throw the phone. Yeah, my phone's shitting your phone. It was a hypothetical, but you actually did it. Yeah, we were doing a role play. We did a roleplay.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:11

I chucked his phone and um And hit him with it, right? Absolutely. Oh shit, you threw it at him? I threw it at him. See how at him? See how talking the kids you said.

SPEAKER_05 1:17:21

I threw it at a wall. I took it at the wall. I'll take nobody's phone.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:24

I heard the phone hitting his head. I heard the sound effect, and he literally just looked up. I said, um Now what if he snapped?

SPEAKER_04 1:17:32

What if he snap?

SPEAKER_01 1:17:33

Snap what? What do you see on the phone? Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:38

No, what if he snapped?

SPEAKER_01 1:17:39

Like a- I'm on whatever you want.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:40

Oh, see. See, this is how domestic violence happens. Yo, how tall are you? How tall are you? No joke. No joke.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:47

Right?

SPEAKER_04 1:17:47

Five seven? Five flat. Five flat. Yeah, you were about to be a few.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:57

No, he was he was he was he was um aggressive. We had of course he was. He had he tried to um he punch out my windows and my car. Oh no. Yeah, it was bad.

SPEAKER_05 1:18:08

Didn't hit you though.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:10

Um, at some point, yeah. It was it got it got there at some point. No, not allegedly. Not allegedly. He and Jersey. He and Jersey still be an Asian. Don't say there. Still be an Asian. Don't say his name. But anyway, um, it was ugly. It was very ugly, and that was my very first um like hands-on toxic relationship. I was again, I was like 22, 23, and I was just like I can love him enough to change him, you know. I was his mom passed away. That belief, that hope, right? Yeah, so I was doulu. I was doulu, I lied to myself to make myself believe like I can love this man enough to where he to make so he loves himself. To yeah, to where he, he, you know, and and once I found out about all the cheating, I was like, man, bye.

SPEAKER_05 1:18:54

You ain't gonna put your health up. That was a whole nother issue. How much was that plane ticket? I'm just kidding.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:59

I don't even remember. It was cheaper. It didn't matter. It was like they said they had some vacant seats they needed to fix. I literally bugged that sucker overnight. Boop, boop, and I was at the airport the next day.

SPEAKER_05 1:19:12

So you already knew what was going on, right?

SPEAKER_02 1:19:14

I she wanted to catch him. Like it was she felt in her spirits that women's intuition. The signs were there.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:19

I just couldn't physically like.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:21

Never doubt the women's intuition, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:22

And so I finally went through his phone.

SPEAKER_05 1:19:24

Like this What did it say?

SPEAKER_01 1:19:27

This man was um, he had an old email that he wasn't using, so he was having these girls email him nudes or text him nudes, and he was forwarding them to his email. He had a whole nother fake Facebook account, which I also found and hacked while I was in class at Hillsborough Academy Community College. And he was messaging girls. Um, I talked to him. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_05 1:19:49

Why do you fuck any of them?

SPEAKER_01 1:19:50

Absolutely, every single one of them. Why are they sending him news? Every single one of them. He got he got that. And the thing is that at the very beginning of the relationship, his mom was sick. She was very, very ill. And so this girl contacted me to tell me that she was with him and that she had a miscarriage from him. I let it go because of his mom's situation. I was like, his mom's dying. And I'm and and the ultrasound didn't have nothing on it.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:17

Like, it was just a isn't that like a woman to justify a man's poor actions because we're like, oh, he's going through this. Yeah, and that was again.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:25

That was me being the Lulu. I'm like, he's going through so much, like, you know, blah blah blah. I was just making excuses for him and trying to love him.

SPEAKER_05 1:20:32

He needs to fuck another pussy.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:35

And he wanted to die. After that, after that one experience.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:38

He was going through a lot, he sought comfort next. And he went through a lot and opportunity.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:44

And that's exactly what he used. He used his mom as a scapegoat.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:47

Of course he did. Shame on him, shame on him. Yep. If you see this, shame on you. And now he looked like Santa Claus.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:53

We'll tell you.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:54

Now I don't, man, I've got so many stories from when I was young and dumb, right? Yeah. So I think of um this one situation um where I went through a phone and I found messages from the ex to his brother sending pictures of a girl. He's like, oh yeah, this is my boo, you know, from out of state somewhere. I'm like, okay. He was in the bathroom taking a shit.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:20

I said, boom, boom, boom, boom.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:22

Who does that say it's me? Let me in.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:24

First off, that's disrespectful.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:26

I don't give a fuck. Hey, look at that. At that point, I saw red, all bets were off. Later, knock, knop, open the door. No, he didn't wipe. He unlocked the door and he went and sat right back down. He's still on the toilet. I said, so I said, so you got a uh a boo uh in blah blah blah. I grabbed him by the throat. See, I think a man will make a woman snap and then they blame us. So I grabbed him and he stood up. I was like, oh shit, he's big as fuck. I was like, he's like, who you grabbing? I said, nobody. I'm not telling you.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:09

That's one thing. I reality came real quick. Yeah, I've never put my hands on a man because I know where that's never who.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:16

I have never struck a man. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:18

But that day, well, I definitely grabbed it and that was um with a tiny little hand. That was excused. I can understand where she was. I wouldn't do it, but I understand.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:27

I get it. I get it. I get it, but that could have gone so left. It could have. And he's not like, don't get me wrong, he might you call it. It could have. No, that's why I was like, as soon as you stood up, I was like, I was gonna say, y'all call niggas ain't shit on the shit. And that was another thing.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:39

Let's talk. Okay, let's talk about that. 60 minutes. Let's talk about that.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:41

Talk to me.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:42

Okay, so women, not pertaining to you, but other women that I knew, they um they like to put their hands on men, right?

SPEAKER_02 1:22:50

Um I don't believe, I don't believe in that. Yes. Like I said, if they guess at that point, then that's a relationship that you don't need to be in.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:57

Caribbean women. Especially if they know that the man isn't going to, you know, retaliate and isn't going to hit them. Oh, if he's a beta, if he's a punk.

SPEAKER_05 1:23:05

Um, no, no.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:07

Not even that. Not even a man. Thank you. This is something that I um, you know, that I like I said earlier, I take the man's side on this. Like, I don't agree with women thinking like they could put their hands on a man just because they're mad about what I don't care what you're mad about. You sit your behind down and act act like a grown woman and have a conversation. Especially if you're mad about stupid stuff, it's not like he cheated or you, whatever it is you're mad about, okay? Because they like to use that cheating as an excuse. But at the point is, like, I, you know, like I said, I was in that situation. And even before that, I I have had experiences in the past, like, my mom went through that at some point in time. Thankfully, I never witnessed it. But I've I've known about that. So it's like, don't push a man, don't push a man and then try to like put the tail between your legs and like, oh, he hit me, and then want to call the police because y'all want to be some police ass calling hoes, excuse my French, and then you want to be acting like a victim when you were swinging on him like you was tight smoking him, throwing stuff at him, you know, throwing all types of stuff like and then he reacts. I think because he reacted, or because he's trying to restrain you. You understand? Especially if that's different though. That's right.

SPEAKER_05 1:24:19

That's all a guy ever should do is restraining.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:22

But even so, they will call it. Even so, they will call the police. No, yes, it's not even way stronger than us. They will call the police and still be like he tried to hit me because he tried to restrain her. But the police is always gonna go about who has bruises.

SPEAKER_04 1:24:35

That part. Well, they're gonna be a good thing.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:38

She's calling a cops for what? First of all, anyways, I have so many thoughts about that. Well, I'm not sure. Now that's not to look, that's not to say anything against anybody who has been a victim of domestic violence. Okay, because I have been a victim of domestic violence where I was not provoking them, I wasn't doing anything, and they put their I literally thought I was gonna lose my life, okay? Oh, I was, yeah. Like I was grabbed by my throat, picked up, feet dangling.

SPEAKER_04 1:25:02

I literally thought that if the nigga you yoked up. The man told me. No, no, not him, not him, not him, nothing. I'm saying, he didn't yoke you up like that.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:10

He knew he was that one throw straight up told me he would kill me. He said, I will kill you.

SPEAKER_05 1:25:15

What the fuck?

SPEAKER_01 1:25:15

And it wasn't even that bad. It wasn't even like punches, like it was just simple like hair yanking, shovey, but it's still domestic that is still bad. You know, shoving, yeah. Any of that throwing stuff, like blowing stuff. He would break all my stuff.

SPEAKER_05 1:25:30

I know I know y'all think you're big and bad, but you know how easy it is just to like do a quick little swim move, grab your shoulders and hold you.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:39

Right. That's it.

SPEAKER_05 1:25:40

And then say calm down.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:42

You don't need to put your hands on a woman. If you want to restrain her because she's being crazy, restrain her. And I wish and call for help. You could restrain her with one hand.

SPEAKER_05 1:25:49

Yeah, little men are the ones that beat women. Little men. No, no, no, I don't think. No, no, no, not in physical size. I'm talking about little men. Like beta. Little man's syndrome. Betas.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:03

I was gonna say that little man's syndrome. Little man's syndrome and little.

SPEAKER_05 1:26:05

Even though they're tall as shit, they'll fucking, they'll still do it. But real men, what they do is they restrain. That's it. Right. I look no punches, no, no slaps thrown, just restrain. Once y'all calm down.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:18

Hey, you come get so-and-so. Let her go. Yeah, and I advocate for men when it comes to that because I've fortunately I've known men to be in these situations and they never spoke about it. They never and I'm like, no, expose these women. Right? Expose them because there are women that are crazy, and there are women that are out there doing too much.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:34

And it's like at some point he is going to respond, he's gonna retaliate, right? I can't hold you.

SPEAKER_04 1:26:39

Like, I don't think I've never told nobody. But actually, you said you went through. I went through that. Like I went through, I had an extra. Do you care to share? Well, the one with cheated for years. Like, it was a situation where like she was reaching out, and again, I was working multiple jobs, and I was just asleep. I just I fell asleep, middle of the day, and was just alcohol. I hadn't slept in like three days. Because I was, I'd leave work, come deal with whatever she needed, and go to work, get a second job from there, be work all day and do the one too. My body just said, hey, shut it down. Ugh, I was asleep. Missed however many phone calls. Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. Banging on the door. She came through as soon as I opened the door.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:20

Swung.

SPEAKER_04 1:27:21

What? I mean, mind you, I'm still trying to wake up.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:24

How tall was she?

SPEAKER_04 1:27:25

I bet you were real wake after that. Five five? Five five ish? Yeah. Wait, wait. She wasn't big enough for it to hurt that bad. But it just caught me off guard. Now, mind you, mind you, just open the eyes open the door.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:40

You have to sleep. You half asleep. I'm half asleep.

SPEAKER_04 1:27:43

So she, I ain't gonna hold you, she got three good ones off. Hey, hey, hey. And I already know, being raised out of the south, I know not to put my hands on you. Right. Cause I know this is gonna go left really quick. And at the time she might be like a buck 20, buck 30. I'm still sitting at 200. Easy. So I know if I grab you and yoke you up, and what if I close my hands hard enough, you're gonna be bruised. So I just I left. I left. Your own place. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:08

That's it. You did the right thing.

SPEAKER_04 1:28:10

I left. I don't talk about, but she still tried to make it a deal. Cause she'd hit me out of stone back. I see my keys at the front door. I just took off, put my shoulder past her, so she fell. Because again, I'm moving. She tried to call and say I knocked her down.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:25

You see what I mean? Mm-hmm. That's foolishness.

SPEAKER_04 1:28:30

Hey hey, not when she called, because I knew the guy who showed up.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:33

Yeah, but I got lucky.

SPEAKER_04 1:28:34

I got lucky. The dude who showed up was very, he recognized me from school. Yeah, that's different. And was like, yo. That's delusional. No, I know better.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:40

And that was God. Now, let me ask you something because earlier Max said women ain't shit. And we talked a little bit about women not knowing how to be soft, not knowing how to be able to do it.

SPEAKER_05 1:28:50

Wait a second. I mean, that's not a direct quote, is it? It is, I said it. I don't care.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:58

Well, so is there a different um perspective or a different um example that you want to elaborate on?

SPEAKER_01 1:29:06

On like why women ain't shit?

SPEAKER_02 1:29:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:29:08

Well, we talked about it earlier. Like, I refer to the women that um refuse to have self-awareness when we talked about doing the work and healing, and they just out here beating on men, cheating on men, you know, being crazy for no reason, just choosing the toxic life. They wake up every day and decide how am I gonna terrorize this man today?

SPEAKER_04 1:29:28

But then it's crazy that you say that.

SPEAKER_05 1:29:31

Are there women that actually do that?

SPEAKER_00 1:29:32

Oh my god, they'll do everything.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:34

I can't relate.

SPEAKER_04 1:29:35

There are women who will do that and then blame past traumas on why they're doing what they're doing.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:38

And don't want to work on their traumas.

SPEAKER_04 1:29:40

There's no like there's no accountability.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:41

I know there's a lot of people. That means accountability, ladies. Accountability. I know a lot of men and women that don't know how to deal with accountability and don't want to work on their issues.

SPEAKER_01 1:29:51

And I agree with you 100%. It is always a two way street. It is always a two way street. Absolutely. But I can also say that nowadays, as the years have you. You know, back in the day it was different for women. Now it's like women are just. I'm sometimes I'm embarrassed to be a woman. I'm like, y'all are killing it for the rest of us out here. Making us look real. Y'all making us look real.

SPEAKER_05 1:30:11

I think it's because of the feminists.

SPEAKER_04 1:30:13

I don't know what it is. I don't know who I don't know whose fault is, but like there's a there's a podcast, and the lady was saying that she said, um, my man doesn't do it for me anymore. How do I break it to him that I have a new guy?

SPEAKER_01 1:30:27

Oh, that the conversation. Listen.

SPEAKER_04 1:30:31

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:31

And I was like, Well, you should break up with him. What do you mean?

SPEAKER_04 1:30:34

But that's the thing.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:35

Like she wanted to stay with her man, her husband, but still, she wanted him to approach. She wanted the side dude.

SPEAKER_04 1:30:40

She called the side dude, yeah. That's called a cuck.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:43

She needs therapy. And Jesus.

SPEAKER_04 1:30:45

But my thing is Jesus. You need Jesus. But I wish somebody would come tell me, is it cool if I had this dude on the side? Yeah, yeah, but stay over there.

SPEAKER_02 1:30:53

That's a mental illness. But stay over there. Fuck that. But men do it. Men think that women are supposed to, well, not all men, but there are some men that believe that they have their house, they have everything kept, and they feel that their woman should accept them. I'm not saying I wouldn't put up with this stuff like this. I wish a man wouldn't come to me and try to tell me some foolishness like this.

SPEAKER_01 1:31:14

And it's mostly men of status. Status.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:17

Men of power in the league, whether it's playing football, whether it's you know, being a celebrity, you know, whatever. No, I'm I'm serious. Like people think because they're providing a certain lifestyle that a woman is supposed to be. And it's always about the money. The money changes.

SPEAKER_01 1:31:33

I give you this lifestyle, so you should you should accept that.

SPEAKER_05 1:31:35

Well, it also depends on the woman. Like what?

SPEAKER_01 1:31:38

It is very common in that industry, whether you're a celebrity or not, uh, just regular entrepreneur men, yeah, very common for a woman to tolerate that and deal with it because the lifestyle that this man is providing.

SPEAKER_05 1:31:49

I have very because he is searching for that and using that as an excuse. He wants a polylife.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:56

He wants a poly life. Oh, absolutely. I had a therapist that I was seeing, and she was telling me because you know, I had gone through cheating, and I was like, I'm not dealing with the fooliness. She's like, Look, I'm proud of you for leaving, for walking away, for doing the hard work that most women won't do. She's like, Because I see a lot of pro athletes and their wives that stay and put up with the foolishness. No, I'm good. All for the lifestyle. All for the lifestyle. All for the lifestyle. But you know what though? Even though they they try to convince that's a delusion, that's a delusion, and women that do decide to stay, knowing that there's foolishness and stuff going on. 100%. You're not happy. You are living in constant anxiety, you're wondering what they're doing, who they're doing, where they are. I'm speaking, I'm speaking from knowledge, I'm speaking from experience. Not I've never stayed. Have you ever had a man cheat on me and I've stayed with them? Like, no, because I know what that would entail, right? You're gonna be constantly wondering is he where he says he is? Is he doing what he says he's doing? Like, I couldn't live like that. And the women who do decide to stay in that lifestyle, they are signing up to continue to live like that. And I I feel bad for them because what kind of life is that? Like, have enough dignity about yourself to walk away.

SPEAKER_05 1:33:05

You have friends that have done that, female friends that have done that. What about you, yes?

SPEAKER_02 1:33:15

But fast forward, like I have a female friend, she did that, she was dating a pro-athlete, and she thought she was about that life, right? You know, he wanted to be with her and you know, hang out and go on a road or whatever. And she thought that she could deal with it, and she's like, No, this is not what I want. This is not a good idea.

SPEAKER_05 1:33:32

He was checking his oil every two weeks or whatever.

SPEAKER_04 1:33:35

Or you got a different area code.

SPEAKER_02 1:33:37

Yeah, no, and then she found the Lord, you know, she started getting closer to God, and she's like, This is not you know the life that I want. And it's like, but some certain women try to convince themselves that they're okay with that. Like, no, girl, like have enough dignity. Like walk away, like you don't need him.

SPEAKER_01 1:33:53

Yeah, they just feel like you know, like our grandmas and great-grandmas used to think like I need him. I need to sit beside him, I need him to be able to do it.

SPEAKER_02 1:34:02

Anyone who's been together for this long has been through something of the stuff.

SPEAKER_01 1:34:06

Especially if they have kids involved, you know. But um, to answer your question, yes. I think we all know women that we all have been associated with women, or you know, even women in our inner circles or whatever that have been naive enough to stay for the lifestyle because he bought her a car, he bought her house. She don't have to work, or she's gonna be able to do it. But deep down, she's miserable. She's miserable.

SPEAKER_02 1:34:25

How how worth it?

SPEAKER_01 1:34:26

And and nine times out of ten, she's cheating back, but she's being low-key about it because he's gonna beat her, but you know, if he finds it, it's okay for him to do it, it's a double standard. It's okay for him to do it, but she can't do it. But she she's she's cheating with the pool boy or the pool boy, or the gardener, or somebody. Oh my gosh. So I have worked with this lady.

SPEAKER_05 1:34:44

I need to be a pool boy.

SPEAKER_02 1:34:45

I have worked with this lady. Um, and this lady was actually um arrested and accused of having sex with a student, a minor. Are you talking about teachers? Uh she was a teacher. She was accused of having sex with her. Yo, that shit is rampant. And she she worked with me. So, like, after she came on, and you know, we were working together and I got to know her, and she would open up and she would tell me like how mentally and emotionally abusive her husband was, how she was like financially dependent on him. They had been together, they had been together over 25 years. You know, she's telling me she she said that the claims were false. Okay, that it wasn't true.

SPEAKER_04 1:35:22

I was nervous for a minute.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:23

She she says that it wasn't true, but after getting to know her, she got convicted. She never got convicted. They dropped it. I think they ended up dropping it down to a battery, which is often what happens in accusatory because they gotta give you something. They wanted like they at least want a conviction out of it. Yeah. So, well, hey, well, we won't send you to prison and you don't have to register as a sex offender if you, you know, you you plead guilty to you know, to you know she fucked. After getting to know her and hearing her story and how much abuse and how much stuff did she win, I'm like, she probably did that. Yeah, I could totally see her doing that because her husband treated her so poorly. It's a mental. And then you got this young high school, so these these high school students be looking like grown ass. They don't be in the house. How do you 25?

SPEAKER_01 1:36:04

Yeah, they don't be in the middle. 16. What do you mean?

SPEAKER_04 1:36:06

Hey man, I can't even hold you. I haven't teaching a high school there, but she didn't let me try it. I'd have did it.

SPEAKER_01 1:36:13

Do you know the percentage? And this, I'm speaking when I found this out when I was in high school. This was 20 years ago, okay? The percentage of young men who lose their virginity to teachers. Teachers.

SPEAKER_05 1:36:25

Why? That's high. It's up there.

SPEAKER_01 1:36:27

And the babysitter.

SPEAKER_05 1:36:28

Well, what's the percentage?

SPEAKER_01 1:36:29

It's pretty high. I don't know now, but it's pretty high.

SPEAKER_02 1:36:31

Look it up. Let's go. Look it up. Hey, Siri, what percentage of students lose their virginity to teachers?

SPEAKER_05 1:36:37

It's gotta be very low.

unknown 1:36:38

Okay. I found this on the web.

SPEAKER_01 1:36:41

Almost 50% of American sex happens with a teacher. Why? That's just American. America. That's American. But there's no way.

SPEAKER_05 1:36:49

There's no way. Why? Y'all are some nasty.

SPEAKER_01 1:36:52

I personally know family members and individuals I can't speak on that lost their virginity to a teacher.

SPEAKER_05 1:37:01

And was it 50% of the people you know?

SPEAKER_01 1:37:04

Um, maybe a little bit less. A little bit less. But it's it's pretty, it's up there. That's crazy. It's up there. That is cruel. And these young men get groomed, you know? And women.

SPEAKER_02 1:37:14

You don't think the girls be.

SPEAKER_01 1:37:16

Yeah, that's I remember I had a coach when I was in school school.

SPEAKER_02 1:37:19

That's a different. I remember I had a coach when I was in middle school. He was a little bit too friendly. I'm like, that's a sense. If he had the opportunity, he probably would. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:37:28

That's tough, though.

SPEAKER_02 1:37:28

That'll be too much.

SPEAKER_05 1:37:29

Damn, dog, you gotta be fucking cute.

SPEAKER_01 1:37:31

He's looking at something. I told you. That is. Or some educator or an educator, somebody in the education field.

SPEAKER_04 1:37:41

I know me.

SPEAKER_01 1:37:42

Whether it be a coach, right?

SPEAKER_04 1:37:44

If you ever hear about me shooting up a high school, just understand you know why. Yeah, one of them little teachers tried to run up on my daughter, everybody gotta go.

SPEAKER_02 1:37:51

Why the whole school gotta go? Yeah, why the whole school gotta go?

SPEAKER_04 1:37:54

Hey, look, look, I'm just go after the teacher. Hey, look, I'm not gonna do it while the students are there, but that little teacher workday, yeah, all y'all can go. All of them. All of them, because one of y'all knew.

SPEAKER_02 1:38:05

Yeah, they're gonna be aware of it. One of y'all, somebody knew. Somebody else.

SPEAKER_04 1:38:08

So everybody gotta go.

SPEAKER_02 1:38:09

There was a teacher recently that she um told another teacher that she has sex with a student, and then that other teacher went and reported her, as she should.

SPEAKER_04 1:38:17

Good.

SPEAKER_02 1:38:17

As she should, right. Good for her.

SPEAKER_04 1:38:19

So, what we learned today, gentlemen.

SPEAKER_02 1:38:21

Is the friend zone does not exist. Teachers be fucking.

SPEAKER_04 1:38:27

Tell them again. And gentlemen, I'll leave you with this parting word of advice. Respect your lady. Listen to your lady, be aware of her emotions. Simple.

SPEAKER_02 1:38:38

We are simpler than you think.

SPEAKER_04 1:38:40

Until next time, this has been in Max We Trust with Miss Yazley. Like, comment, subscribe, mash that notification button. We will be back next time with the new video.