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In Max We Truzz
Real‑life things for real‑life people—no filters, no fluff. Hosted by Max Paul, In Max We Truzz dives head‑first into the stories that shape us: from the highs and lows of life after sports to the messy realities of mental health, relationships, business, and hustle culture. Each 60‑minute episode pairs Max’s energetic, humorous style with candid conversations from athletes, industry experts, creators, and entrepreneurs you know (and some you should know).
Expect raw language, unvarnished truths, and the occasional hot take—because authenticity isn’t always PG‑13. Weekly drops include:
- “The Real” – unfiltered dialogue with headline‑making guests
- Audience Q&A – Max answers your toughest life, career, and relationship questions
- Closing Monologue – rapid‑fire wisdom bombs from every guest
Whether you’re navigating a post‑athlete identity, scaling a startup, or just craving a straight‑shooting pep talk, this show hands you practical insight—and a laugh—every single week.
New episodes every Thursday. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, or your favorite app, and join the conversation with #InMaxWeTruzz.
Warning: Explicit language & brutally honest perspectives ahead. Listener discretion—and an open mind—advised.
In Max We Truzz
From Hard Times to a Soft Life: Melissa on Survival, Love, and Letting Herself Be Led
What if the part of your story you skip is the part someone else needs to survive? That’s where Melissa takes us—back to the in‑between—long before the glow-up, after the chaos, and right into the steps that make a soft life real.
We start with a decade of friendship and a late-night Brandon origin story that sets the tone: kindness when it counts and the quiet ways people show up. From there, Melissa lays out the heart of Hard Wig, Soft Life—raw, useful, and grounded in lived experience. She turns a viral joke into a clear philosophy: you don’t need a perfect look or a perfect past to deserve peace. The talk widens into identity—hair, culture, and the everyday math of being racially Black and ethnically Hispanic—and continues into the reality of safety, policing, and the protective habits people develop to make it home.
The energy shifts and expands—retired party girl stories, hip‑hop hot takes from Rakim to Jay‑Z, and local food lore spanning Chinese takeout wings to strip club steaks. Under the laughs is a map of Tampa nights, regional taste, and the rituals that make communities feel like home. Then the center of gravity lands: Melissa’s marriage. She shares how therapy, patience, and a partner who leads without control created a true safe space. The salsa class metaphor says it all—years spent leading out of survival, and the work of learning to be led without losing yourself.
We pull apart modern love with care: vetting character versus chasing charisma, the realities of prenups and risk, and the way social media makes attention instant and people feel replaceable. Through it all, Melissa models reciprocity—provision and protection met with devotion and daily care, compromise as choreography, and softness as something you practice on purpose.
If you’ve needed a practical map from hard season to soft life, this conversation is your waypoint: honest, specific, and full of steps you can use today. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs the in‑between, and leave a review with the moment that hit you hardest.
All right, we're back for another episode of In Max We Trust. I'm Max, that's Sean, and we have our lovely Melissa in the building. Hi, everybody. Okay, see, Melissa, how far back do we go?
SPEAKER_06:More than a decade. I was just hashing this out with uh Sean. He was like, How long have you known Max? And I was like, a decade, no more, no, less. Wait, no more. So more than a decade.
SPEAKER_00:No, no, no. Keep going.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, go ahead and see. I'm ready.
SPEAKER_06:Okay, okay. Uh, but yeah, more than a decade.
SPEAKER_01:It's like, I was I tried to think about it on the way here. I was like, it's like, is it 15 or 10? I said, I would meet in the middle, say like 13. 13? You got about 13 years. And how did we meet?
SPEAKER_06:Um, so actually, I had to think about it again while I was soaking shot. I figured it. I had a good practice room before I got here. And so we met at uh the Baluka Billiards um when I had that awful boyfriend I had who was like, hey, we need to go now. And I was like in pajamas, and I'm like, why am I, you know, what I don't I have no idea. But yeah, like we met there, and uh Tony was with us that night. And so it was a cool it ended up being a cool vibe because you ended up being really nice. And I think I just needed someone to be really nice to me.
SPEAKER_01:So yeah. I remember when Tony hit me about going. I remember because I was I was laying down in bed, and Tony said, Hey man, we need to go to Beluca's like right now. I said, huh?
SPEAKER_06:What? I just need to understand why it was so urgent for everyone. Like, we gotta go now. Like, why did we have to go?
SPEAKER_01:Like, I don't know why he said we need to go right now. And because at the time I didn't know you were there. Okay, we didn't know each other. We didn't know each other, but we I get there and you're there, and I do a hello. Me and Tony go, I think we went off to the bar. He goes, be nice to her. She's going through it right now. I said, Okay. He's like, we're here to make her laugh. Okay. I knew that. I didn't know that. Yeah, yeah. I don't think I don't think I've ever told that story. No, I didn't know that. Yeah. Tony let me know that like you were kind of going through it, and we were here to just uplift you. He's like, I really was going through it. Make sure she's safe, make sure she has a good time.
SPEAKER_02:Is Beluka off a hills, bro?
SPEAKER_01:No, that's in Brandon. It's in Brandon.
SPEAKER_06:We are Brandonites. Brandonians, if you will.
SPEAKER_01:She's a Brandon. No, no, Riverview. Oh.
SPEAKER_06:Well, I mean, like.
SPEAKER_01:She'd rather say Brandon.
SPEAKER_06:Well, no, so I had like we moved around a lot.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, you did.
SPEAKER_06:So, like, I lived in like I grew up in Val Rico area, then we lived in Brandon, then I was kind of in Riverview, then we moved to Ruskin at one point. Then we came back when I met you, had just come back to Brandon. Oh, okay. So, like, I always tell people we were on tour. You know, um, I was on tour of Hills.
SPEAKER_01:You were practicing, you were practicing.
SPEAKER_06:Listen, you're not.
SPEAKER_01:Makes sense. It makes sense. It makes sense. So after you after this rough relationship, once you got done with that, where'd you go next? After we met and you got out of that nonsense.
SPEAKER_06:Probably into another rough relationship. Um, I will say, um, so after that, like, yeah, like we broke up and then I think I was already in the military at that time. I was. Yeah, you were in the military.
SPEAKER_02:You were in the military? I was. Thank you for your service. Thank you for your support.
SPEAKER_01:See, I rolled right into that for you. I didn't even know that. She didn't mention that the entire time we were in the middle. We didn't talk about it. We didn't ask about it.
SPEAKER_06:Well, you know, it's just Well kind of did.
SPEAKER_02:No, it didn't.
SPEAKER_06:No, I You asked me what do I do for you asked me what do I do?
SPEAKER_01:Okay, I didn't ask her what she did do. What she did. You didn't ask for the full resident.
SPEAKER_06:And I'm not about to like.
SPEAKER_02:Well, Max was late by in almost an hour.
SPEAKER_01:First off. First off, guys, everybody has one. Okay, everybody has one. Any other time, 30 minutes early. No, bro, but when she got here, I was like, I haven't heard from Max.
SPEAKER_02:And I was like, I don't know if everything's okay.
SPEAKER_01:You know, when you get to the courthouse, you just gotta put your phone away. Well, I thought you were arrested.
SPEAKER_06:He was like, Why did you go to the courthouse? Like, what is going on?
SPEAKER_01:I know, yeah. Well, uh, is that personal or can it be shared? I uh I'm gonna share it off air. I'm gonna share it off air. I'll share it off air, but you know, it's not for me or anything me related. It's just circumstances. Okay, shit happens. Cool. We we can just brush past it.
SPEAKER_06:Um, no, I was like sitting here and Sean is like, um, he goes, Are you gonna can you are you gonna call Max? And I was like, no, don't you you guys work together? And he goes, Well, how well do you know Max? I go, I've known him for more than a decade, I think. And he goes, So you call him, yeah. And I go, no, you you can call him. He said, I text him, he's not responding. I said, okay, well then you should try calling him.
SPEAKER_01:And this is this is Melissa, all right.
SPEAKER_06:Because you work together. This has nothing to do. I am a guest.
SPEAKER_03:Um, and then I and then I said, because you are the guest, you should call him.
SPEAKER_06:He still didn't persuade me. I did it because I was like, you know what, let me just do a daily console. Exactly. But I'm like, I'm like, no, honey, like y'all work together. Like you, you call your he goes, well, I go, we're not a part of everyday life with each other right now, so it's just not you call him.
SPEAKER_01:She also says that you guys haven't seen each other in over a year. In person in years. In years, it's been more it's been it's been some years, yeah. Like maybe five, maybe four. Four, I think.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Like four.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Damn, for real? Yeah. So this is the first time in four years. Yeah. Okay, I gotta ask you a question. Sure. I don't have one. I'm sorry. I was so ready. I know.
SPEAKER_04:I'm locked in.
SPEAKER_06:Like what you got. No, it's been about four years, which makes sense too, just because I feel like I kind of like started making changes, right? So I just kind of like you have to disappear sometimes and just go focus on what you need to focus on.
SPEAKER_02:And then Yeah, you gotta get that hard wig to have a that soft life. You know, I'm screaming internally.
SPEAKER_01:Speaking of you're this is your first time on our podcast, but you have one of your own.
SPEAKER_06:Yes.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, what is it? Tell us about it.
SPEAKER_06:Tell the people.
SPEAKER_01:Tell the people.
SPEAKER_06:So where do I look? Do I look at the white screen or am I looking at the screen? No, you're right there. You right to that camera, right there. Um, so I have a podcast called Hard Wig Soft Life, the podcast. And we talk about not only my story, but then we talk about other people's story. And the main premise of it is to talk about how you show up for yourself after you've gone through a traumatic life. Because what happens is people will tell you, Oh, I went through X, Y, and Z, and now I'm up. And you're like, that's great. Like, so what did you do? What happened in between?
SPEAKER_01:Like, what this was shitty. Now you're up. Give me the in-between.
SPEAKER_06:Give me the in between. So it makes it to be I I went through a lot of things in life where it would have been really useful to maybe have an example or to have someone that I could be like, oh, I okay, I can get out of this situation, but I didn't have that. It was a very hopeless type of situation, right? And so yeah, you hear like about motivational speakers. People would always be like, oh, you should listen to such and such motivational speaker. I don't want to hear that. I don't want to hear none of that. Because you know what they're gonna tell me, they're gonna tell me, oh, and when you're in a state of trauma too, you feel like what they're telling you is delusional, right? You're like, oh, I don't want to be delusional. They tell you, oh, if you think positively, positive things will happen. And and yes, this is true. You know, it's true, but like when you are definitely like downright hopeless, you're like, okay, well, yeah, me thinking positively isn't gonna change me. Yeah, like I'm about to get evicted. Me thinking positively is not going to change that at all. Um, or I'm in an abusive relationship. Me thinking positively is not going to stop this because that's how you you think about it, that's how you read it.
SPEAKER_02:You called it something perfect off air. You called it a survival guide to life.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah, your life is sometimes someone else's survival guide. So it would have been very useful to me to have heard, like, hey girl, I've been where you are, and it was just a few years ago. And now my life is something that I would have never even thought it to be, because it was just so um, it just was terrible. Like so that would have been helpful to me. Absolutely. So when I started telling people my story, people that I was just getting to know, like, oh, I went through this and I went through that and I went through this and then this happened, and then, and they will all look at me and go, oh my god, like that's that's a lot, Melissa. And I will go, Oh, I I I guess, you know, it's just my life, whatever. And so I was like, you know what? If this is the type of reaction that people are giving or they're in such shock, then imagine if someone who actually needs to hear this. So I'm just gonna share. And I told my husband, I was like, Well, I think I'm ready to share my story. I think I want to just put a podcast out. And because of the hardwake soft life theory, us thinking it was funny, I was like, I don't know what to call it. And he was like, You should call it hardwake soft life. And I go, I don't want to minimize our relationship to you just being some white man I married, and I just happen to have a bad hair day.
SPEAKER_03:Well, can't can you give some preface to that? Yeah, it's a context of the hardware.
SPEAKER_06:Do you know what the hardwig soft life theory is? I do, I do. Sean is cultured now because now he knows.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, because she told me the whole thing.
SPEAKER_06:So the hardwake soft life um theory. So I'm I'm sitting on my bed, my husband is sleeping, it's a morning. I am scrolling on TikTok and I see this girl, this black girl with a wig, and she is throwing this wig in the mud, she's like making it all messed up and making it hard, essentially. And then she's about to put it on her head and she's like, child, I'm trying to pick up a white, wealthy man. Because think about it. Follow me here. When you see a very well-to-do, rich white man, okay, he wants to be. When he's married to a black woman, yeah, you see them on TV, whatever. It's normally, normally one type of black woman. It is the black woman with the red lipstick, with the wig that's like janky, like sis, do you have friends? And like, you know, it's just it's Max, Max, does that make any sense to you? Max, you know what I'm talking about. As a black man, you know what I'm talking about. That's what I'm saying.
SPEAKER_03:Like, as a black man, I guess.
SPEAKER_06:Sean was confused. Yeah, no, it's a real thing.
SPEAKER_03:Well, we gotta we gotta ask a white man. We can't ask Max because the hard wig, soft life. No, you're you're saying white dude.
SPEAKER_06:You have to ask a black man, and I'm gonna tell you why you have to ask a black man because I asked you, right? And I had I'm not, no, I'm Cuban. Well, you're white passing, so you're white.
SPEAKER_01:I'm tan, I'm almost as dark as you. You're tan, so you're the same as a. Anyways, we're not gonna get into the whole like semantics here.
SPEAKER_06:But essentially, right, you are not going to pay attention to that. So, like my husband, he wouldn't have been able to tell you that my hair was looking bad that day. And my husband, we've been married together for, well, we've been married for one year, we've been together for four years.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah.
SPEAKER_06:And when I get my hair done, he doesn't he doesn't really blink and he doesn't acknowledge it. Now, a week after I've gotten my hair done, and maybe I've been exercising it's a little bit lived in, he'll go start to lift a little bit. You look really good. Your hair looks nice. Like you look, and I'm like, you didn't, I got it done a week ago.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah.
SPEAKER_06:And a week ago, you had no clue. You had no clue. And he tells me, he goes, it just it just looks better when it's like more lived, more natural, you know, not perfect. Because you know, as a black girl, we like the baby hair has gotta be late. It's gotta be late.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_06:He that doesn't move him. So if I have something that's a little bit more like lived in, like this week, for instance, oh, he's it he's a sucker for it. And let don't let it get frizzy. Oh my god. Like he's like, I just love it. But anyways, um, I'm looking at so I'm looking at this and I see this, it's hard wake, soft life theory, and it's you know, saying, and so I thought it was funny. And I thought to myself though, I go, wait a minute. When I met my husband, when I met Ryan, that weave was on its last leg. I needed it needed to be out of my head expeditiously, like, oh my god, like badly. And he he liked me. We exchanged numbers that day, right? Obviously. And so it took three weeks for us to go on our first date. Okay. At the time, I was working at a restaurant because COVID had like just happened and I still wasn't in the corporate workforce again. So I'm working at this restaurant and I wanted to move to Atlanta then. I was making moves to try to move. Okay. So I had an interview for a job to be like um an executive assistant to a celebrity chef at that time. So she flew me out there and I was out there for a few weeks. So I'm still wearing this weave that I was wearing. Because I you if you work at a restaurant, you don't get paid.
SPEAKER_01:I'm with you. But you said you should fly to Atlanta with a bat. Okay, because you're gonna get it.
SPEAKER_06:I made it, I made it work.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, okay. I know how to make things work. You're not gonna do it. We know how to stretch it.
SPEAKER_06:Okay, go ahead, go ahead, go, my bad. So I get there and I'm there for about three weeks. So I come back. Obviously, if you're working at a restaurant, if you don't work, you don't get paid.
SPEAKER_01:At all.
SPEAKER_06:So I don't have money to go get my hair done when I get back. But the weave needs to come out of my head. Absolutely. When I tell you I came back from Atlanta raggedy, I was missing two nails and I took off the weave. And I was going through the growing phase of my hair. So I couldn't exactly wear my natural hair yet because it wasn't enough to do anything with.
SPEAKER_01:You got a little dirty tennis ball look.
SPEAKER_06:We in the we Yeah, we're in the ugly stages. Like we, you know, it's it's bad. So I realized very quickly one thing about Ryan, which is my husband, is he is not the kind of guy that you want to give the run around, right? I felt like if I and granted, he was not my intended demographic, like ever. I always thought I was gonna end with a black man, right? Like that was not my but I liked him. And so I told him, hey, listen, man, I'm gonna, I'm gonna be very honest with you. I go, anybody else I would have lied and said, I just don't want to go on the date right now. I go, but I'm gonna be honest. I cannot afford to get my hair done right now. And I don't like to go anywhere unless my hair is done. But I do want to spend time with you. So does it bother you if I wear a head wrap? And he's like, I have no idea what that means. Please just come as you are. I really would just want to hang out with you.
SPEAKER_02:I didn't know what that was either.
SPEAKER_06:Do you know what a fucking head wrap is? No, she she had to I go, do you know who Erica Badu is? And he's like, No. I didn't know who Erica does. You had to look up Erica Badu to then find the head wrap. That's why.
SPEAKER_02:It's like a fucking turban.
SPEAKER_06:Bro, no, it's not. It's a head wrap baby. It's a head wrap, there's difference. I'm not Indian, so it's a head wrap to her. Like a turban is for the culture. Sean is gonna walk out of here with so much knowledge.
SPEAKER_00:Like, but no, no, I already looked that shit up, remember? But Erica. Erica is spelled with a Y, right?
SPEAKER_06:And A H. So the reason why it spelled it like that is because, and I don't think it's originally spelled like that. Um, the reason why she changed the spelling of her name is because um Head Rap. She wanted to like I think it was something against like oppressive, like naming. Yeah, and so she wanted to make it more I don't want to say African, but she did want to get away from the oppressor, basically. That's what I've read. So no reason.
SPEAKER_02:Just real quick, right there. Yeah. Those look oddly similar.
SPEAKER_01:Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Ready? Ready? Here's why. This is Middle Eastern. Ready? Yeah. Where's the where's where is where is that located on the map? In Asia. Right? Yeah. African, which is right round the corner. It's a different continent, but it's right round the corner. Sure it is. Okay.
SPEAKER_06:So we call it something different. It's like it's like having a lot of things. Well, that's why I was confused because I thought to just negate the fact that it's called a head wrap and say, oh, it's a turban, isn't correct. It's kind of like you're Cuban, right? Yes. I'm Honduran. I'm very sure that there are certain foods that you guys eat and you call it something, and we have maybe the same food. Empanadas?
SPEAKER_01:Something different. Empanadas? Abichuelas.
SPEAKER_06:So for us, I call it a, we call it past pastelitos. Okay. What an empanada is to somebody else is a pastelito for me in Honduras, basically.
SPEAKER_02:So calling it two different words, but it being the same thing.
SPEAKER_06:And they're very similar, but they're not exactly the same. And it would be you just don't do that. Like you don't say, oh no, it's not that. It's this. No, they're they're both, but you're from where you're from, and I'm from where I'm from.
SPEAKER_01:Honduras is pretty much Caribbean.
SPEAKER_06:So it can be about that.
SPEAKER_01:It'd be like me calling you Mexican.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah, it can Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:You see how hostile you just got? I didn't get hostile.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, I didn't get hostile.
SPEAKER_06:But there's nothing wrong with being Mexican, but you're saying but you're not that. But I'm not Mexican. Exactly.
SPEAKER_02:So it's because of the country that you're in. Okay, now I'm getting it. So I'm getting it rap. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_06:Because I'm a black girl and that I'm I'm not Indian. It's not a terrible.
SPEAKER_02:Well, you have black skin.
SPEAKER_06:I'm black.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, yeah, black skin.
SPEAKER_06:I'm I'm still I'm not understanding why you keep saying skin at the end, because I'm black.
SPEAKER_02:Well, you call me white. Yeah. I don't have white skin.
SPEAKER_01:What this is the most racially charged thing we've ever said. I'm not from Europe. I mean, that's white. What?
SPEAKER_06:Have you done your have you ever?
SPEAKER_01:Fuck, we're about to be here for a minute. Woo! You know what? It's okay. Just stop there. Right, like she'll go. It's okay. We'll be eight segments in just on. What? I will pull out a whole lesson. Like on the extrestrial DNA. Like, you really want to do it?
SPEAKER_06:Alright. Oh my goodness. How did DSA the messenger? That's okay.
SPEAKER_01:Oh God.
SPEAKER_06:So yeah, so basically, Hard Wig, Soft Life was born of just my life experience, right? But then I took it metaphorically.
SPEAKER_01:Okay.
SPEAKER_06:And was like, okay, well, you don't have to have a hard wig to have a soft life. Right? You deserve a good life even if you're going through it.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_06:So there were a lot of times where I was like, I was going through it, and I just felt like, wow, I'm never gonna be able to have like a good life. I didn't think soft life because that wasn't, like I guess, a trending like that. It wasn't there, it wasn't a thing, man. But like I'm like, I'm going through this struggle. Like, I don't, maybe I don't deserve to live like a nice life. You start to feel like that really once you go through so much trauma after trauma after trauma. It was like one thing after another after another after another. And so I just thought about it metaphorically. I thought about it like as a joke. And I wasn't gonna name the podcast that at all. Like, that wasn't in my frame of mind at all. And my husband was the one who was like, babe, because I told him what the hard wake self-life theory was. And he was like, babe, you should just call it hard wake self-life. He goes, Culturally, like the girlies, you know, they will understand that.
SPEAKER_01:Girls like they would understand that.
SPEAKER_06:Every black girl I talk to, they go, What's the name of your podcast? Hard wake self-life. Oh shit, I like that. The intended demographic is going to pick up on what it is. Um, typically, black men will ask me, so are you bashing black men? No, I love y'all. Like, I love y'all. I just happen to marry someone who's white. Um, but I'm not bashing black men. It's not that, it's more of just like, hey, it just correlated with my life.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. As long as you're not bashing us, we're like, oh. No, never that. I'm gonna tune in. No, I'm gonna tune in. Never that.
SPEAKER_06:My brother's a black man. Like, imagine I come from a black man. Like, what?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. See, you're still confused, and I love it.
SPEAKER_02:I'm not because Central America to me is more Incan than anything else.
SPEAKER_01:All right, hold on, hold on, watch.
SPEAKER_06:But let's get off the admissions. I'm ready. No, watch. Let's get off the ball. Okay, so basically, right? Explain me. So I will explain to you, right? So my in Honduras, there is a group of black people that live that are there, right? They're Honduran 100%. Um, they're called Garifuna people, right? And so my father is literally the same color, maybe a little lighter, but he's a black man. Like, if you look at my dad, there is absolutely no question that that is a black person that you're looking at.
SPEAKER_01:And he's getting pulled over just as quickly as my.
SPEAKER_06:Until he opens his mouth and says, eh, my name is Pablo. And you're like, oh shit, like is that a joke? Like, what the fuck?
SPEAKER_02:Like, I'm and that is kind of why I always go back to when I say skin.
SPEAKER_00:But so what I Because in Cuba, the majority of people are black, so let me but they don't call themselves black people, they call themselves Cuban.
SPEAKER_06:So let me finish, right? So obviously, right? Um, if you're an Afro-Latin, that Afro is African, right? Somebody was from Africa. Point blank, period. Somebody was from Africa, and I know that from like just our ancestry, like we have uh roots in Uganda, right?
SPEAKER_01:Ooh, y'all are niggas, niggas.
SPEAKER_06:You know, no, like that's so my father is black. My grandparents on my dad's side black, my great-grandparents were black, so that's at least like a few generations, and they're all from they started in Belize and then were in Honduras. Now, before that, I don't I don't know all of the lineage, right? But um, I always tell people racially I am black and ethnically, I'm Hispanic. When I fill out any documents that ask me like those, it's it's two questions in succession. They typically ask you what your race is.
SPEAKER_02:What is your race?
SPEAKER_06:Yeah, what is your race? Black. There's no question that I'm a black woman, whether I'm light or not, whether I got a curly weave in my hair today or I have a straight, I'm black. Gotcha. When I pick my ethnicity, I am of Latino or Hispanic origin. So I never discount one or the other.
SPEAKER_02:Ethnicity is like geolocation.
SPEAKER_06:Correct. Now, because Hispanic people come in different races, right? And I'm colours. Yeah, I'm not calling you like, oh, a white boy like a gringo, but you are you're skin, you're you're white. Fair skinned. To me, I will call you a white person. And so, and if you were to fill out the same paper, you would have to fill it out white and then of Hispanic origin, if I'm not mistaken.
SPEAKER_01:I put other.
SPEAKER_06:You put other, okay.
SPEAKER_01:Other is for like Indians, bro. Olive, bro. I no, other, I feel like it's for like Indians out. Asian. I'm olive. Exactly. So you gotta be in the white category, bro.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, white is white.
unknown:Oh.
SPEAKER_01:You ever see a white person? It'll help your credit score, I promise. Hey, let me ask you.
SPEAKER_03:Do you think I'm gonna burn?
SPEAKER_01:You definitely tan. I don't burn. That's what I'm saying. I'm never red.
SPEAKER_02:I get darker. Well, how can you say I'm white?
SPEAKER_01:When a white person tans in the sun for longer than like five hours, they turn red. That's a lot. I don't. I know Italians that get tan. There you go. Olive. Olive.
SPEAKER_06:I wouldn't I would not put that as a litmus test because I myself get fucking red. I get sunburned. Like, what are we talking about? I don't get sunburned. So I'm white now because I get sunburned? Yes. Like what? Absolutely.
SPEAKER_01:Her experience is gonna be very worse.
SPEAKER_06:Not gonna lie. Actually, no, they let me go all the time because of burns.
SPEAKER_01:Pretty veteran privileges. That's even worse. It's even fucking privileged. No, no, actually, I don't think that's worth it. I'm okay with that. No, I'm okay with that. I'll tell you a story because I'm gonna. She served the country, bro. That's cool. I can do it in a minute. I can tell this fucking story. I got an old boss when I worked at Jiffy Lou. My man would fucking. We got there on Sunday, and we know it's gonna be like a fairly slow day. So this motherfucker, we've got the football games on. He's throwing back beers in the office because he didn't have to do nothing but sell shit. So he leaves one day and he's, I know he's hammered. He's ran through four 12 packs by himself. At work? Yeah. Four? Yeah. Older white man, he's a veteran. He's got his old uniform hung up. He's like, they'll never pull me over when I got my uniform in the back seat. Yeah, congrats. I watched him leave, go into the fucking gas station, got pulled over.
SPEAKER_06:Did he get a ticket?
SPEAKER_01:No, I pulled up just to make sure he was good. I'm like, all right, cool. And they took you to jail. First off, absolutely not. I sat in my vehicle, a good little disorder. I wanted to see it. I want to be involved. So I watched the officer go up. He gets him out of the car. It looks like he's gonna start with the field sobriety test. My dude says a couple words to him. I watched the officer look in the back seat, shook his hand, and left. Yeah. I said, what the holy fuck? Service members, good.
SPEAKER_06:I heard that story of my dad was in the car with me. And I got pulled over.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, cool. Hold that thought. We'll be right back for part two of Mastery Trust with the lovely Miss Melissa LeBore. I'm Melissa Atkinson. Oh, Atkinson! Her it sounds like your credit score got better. We'll be right back. Like, comment, subscribe, mash that notification button, follow us on all your streaming networks. We'll be right back. We'll be right back to the story. We're back for part two of them. I'm coming back to it, team. For part two of your maxie trust, Miss Melissa. We're talking about before we left, you using your vet card to get out of a ticket. Go!
SPEAKER_06:It's not done on purpose. So my license says veteran on it. What?
SPEAKER_02:Are you an organ donor?
SPEAKER_06:Uh I think I still am, yes. They're gonna let you go. Continue. So my license says veteran on it. Like they all say that. You just when you go to get it uh renewed or whatever, you give them your DD214. Okay. Showing, oh, I was in the military, and they just put it on there. So I do not give them anything extra. I literally just give them my license when they ask for it. Now, um, I was with my dad, and we were in Brandon, actually. Where, like kind of close to where I used to live. And I made a U-turn that I guess is now an illegal U-turn. Now they have a sign. The what the one out there on three away? It's the one on, is it Gornto? It's like Near. Oh, Grotto Lake? Yes, like in that area. So you can't make a U-turn. Nope. So I wasn't looking and I made the U-turn. Because we used to do it for years.
SPEAKER_01:Yes. For years it used to be.
SPEAKER_06:The cop, I see the lights, and he was like in one of those big the SUV type cars that you can't. And I'm like, and my dad is like, eh, Meli, it's gonna be okay, Meli. It's gonna be okay. Now remember, my father is black, like you know, Honduran black, but black. It's gonna be okay. He's panicking. And I'm like, Dad, I'm just gonna grab my light. No, no, no, no, no, don't grab, don't grab anything. And I'm like, it's it's really okay. Like, it's fine. So the cop pulls up and he tells me, Oh, do you know that you just made an illegal U-turn? And I said, Oh, I'm you know, I grew up in this area and I actually didn't even see the sign. I should have paid more attention. Sorry. So I give him my license. He comes back and he's quite he goes, I have one question for you. So I'm like, okay, mind you, my dad is looking like he's shitting bricks. And the guy goes a black man dealing with the police.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, he was he was terrified.
SPEAKER_06:Yes. And I go, um, yeah, sure, what's what's your question, sir? Like, and I'm calm, cool, collected. Like, because I mean, if you're gonna give me the ticket, just give me the ticket and that's it. Like, I'm I will be all right, whatever. And so the guy goes, What branch? And I go, Oh, army.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, we're good.
SPEAKER_02:Wait, how did he know?
SPEAKER_06:Because on my license, it says veteran. Oh shit. Yes, so he's like, What branch? And I go, Army. I go, what branch were you in? And he goes, Army, and I go, huh? I was like, Army. And he's like, I'm gonna let you off with a warning. Um, you guys have an awesome rest of your day. Because I was like, Oh, I'm with my dad, you know, we're just driving around. He was like, Yeah, just have an awesome rest of your day. My father was so shook, he goes, eh? I'd never seen that before. Yeah, he was shook. He's never seen nothing like that before. And I told him, I said, Dad, I already got pulled over the other day. I think that week I got pulled over like three times.
SPEAKER_03:Whoa, why we gotta ask the question? Why are you getting pulled over so much?
SPEAKER_06:So the first two, uh speeding.
SPEAKER_03:Ah, there you go.
SPEAKER_06:You asked.
SPEAKER_03:This is allegedly, this is allegedly. You know, alleged. No, no, allegedly.
SPEAKER_06:No, he asked me. He was like, when you were running late and I went to go get food, I left and came back. Yeah, she was. And he said, How did you get here before Max got how did you get back before Max got here? And I go, I'm quick.
SPEAKER_03:She was gonna like five minutes, bro. It was wild because you were like 15 minutes away, right? And then she's like, Okay, I went out to smoke, and then as I was walking in, she's right behind me.
SPEAKER_00:It's wild. It's wild.
SPEAKER_01:I'm not gonna tell too many stories. She's a she's a great driver. If I am shit. I like that one. I'm gonna say this. If I robbed a bank and needed someone to get me from point A to point B with not being touched, I know we're gonna call it. I know, like, we'll get there quick.
SPEAKER_06:We won't die.
SPEAKER_01:We're not gonna die. We're gonna be died.
SPEAKER_00:We might get pulled over.
SPEAKER_06:And we won't get a ticket. We're not gonna get a ticket.
SPEAKER_01:Meanwhile, there's all kinds of drugs and money in the truck. We only got a flange of it.
SPEAKER_06:Allegedly. Allegedly.
SPEAKER_02:That one, that one you gotta allege.
SPEAKER_06:I got um I got pulled over in my neighborhood. So, you know, I live in the Carrollwood area, and we live in a nice neighborhood. Um, I got pulled over, and I'm always blasting my music because I'm not gonna change me. I am who I am.
SPEAKER_02:You got a system in your car?
SPEAKER_06:Um, no, I don't have a system, but it is pretty loud, you know. It's it's loud enough.
SPEAKER_01:And so it's loud enough to make her feel good.
SPEAKER_06:You know, exactly. Like I can hear every layer of the song type loud. And so I'm driving and I saw a cop in my neighborhood, and he pulled me over. He said, Where are you coming from? And I go, from around the corner. He's like, Do you live in this neighborhood? And I go, Yes. It was the one time I wasn't speeding too. I go, Yes, I I I do.
SPEAKER_02:Why this was at night, I'm assuming.
SPEAKER_06:No, this was in the daytime. This is broad daylight. Oh, you can't pull you out. It was like 30. I think the speed limit was 35, but I was at like 38, 39. Like, and he told me, he said, Well, you're not even driving 40, so it's not crazy. And I go, so I don't understand why we're having a conversation. Yeah. And I I think he felt dumb, and I I kind of I didn't want to, I didn't I didn't want to keep going.
SPEAKER_01:I kind of was just like, We don't want to disrespect our officers right here.
SPEAKER_06:I'm like, I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna go. And I told Ryan, and Ryan was like, What? I'm like, yes.
SPEAKER_01:But see, that's the thing. Like, you just you described three different, I'm gonna give three people you reference and three completely different experiences that all of them will have. Yeah. Ready? She has experience of she's a veteran. Yes. So when people see the license, they're gonna say veteran. If that officer has uh military experience or somebody who is clear or serves in the police force, they're gonna look at that and kind of okay. Her husband, the white man, if he gets pulled over, he never gets pulled over.
SPEAKER_06:Well, he doesn't. Speed though. He's a very responsible.
SPEAKER_01:Like he's less of a target. But then if you pay attention to what she said about her dad, the minute the lights hit, he starts shitting a brick. That's 90% of black men in America. Like the number like lights hit behind you. The first, and it's sad to say this, but the first two thoughts are Am I going to jail? Or is this my last day? That's it's a it's a shitty reality. And I've talked about this with like friends of mine, but like that's a shitty truth, right? It sucks. It sucks, and that's a that's a fact.
SPEAKER_06:What I will say is during COVID, my brother was um in town from um he was going to school like in the Fort Lauderdale area. So during COVID, they shut down the campus, whatever he came here. And um he was staying with a few of his friends. Now, like it was like three of them, and they all like vary in like like some of them are white, some of them are like Hispanic, you know, whatever. And so my brother, somebody asked him to pick him up. And my brother said, Yeah, I'll go, but all three of you guys gotta go in my car with me. Yeah, and that was that. Like, he was like, Yeah, because I'm not gonna get pulled over by myself and it'd be like misinterpreted as like I'm doing riff raff and I'm not doing a riff raff.
SPEAKER_01:So not doing hood rap things with my hood rap friends like that.
SPEAKER_06:That part, he was like, all three of y'all coming with me.
SPEAKER_01:In the car, loaded up. We I need I need witnesses and cooperators, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_06:And luckily, nothing, you know, nothing happened. But yeah, I mean, those are real life thoughts.
SPEAKER_01:Real? I'm telling you. I told I said that uh one of the bartenders at my job, she was taking home um, she's a white bartender, she was taking home uh the door girl who's a black woman. Like very, very much dark-skinned black woman. Okay. They're driving back, I guess she was speeding a little bit, and she had never understood that dynamic. Because she got pulled over and she's like, it's fine. I'll just grab my ID, you know what I mean? We're gonna go about our day. She said she looked over and realized that the the door girl had already called someone.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah, on FaceTime.
SPEAKER_01:Immediately, oh, we're getting pulled over. Hey, I just need you to be on the phone with me for this. Like, if this goes left, I need someone to be able to corroborate what's going on. You know what I mean? And as a white woman, she just didn't understand like why that's a thing. And then once it got explained, she said that hurt her whole soul.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Understand that that's a real reality for black people. Like cops kill more white people than black people.
SPEAKER_03:So what I will say is there's literally that is a fact.
SPEAKER_06:Okay, cool. Right.
SPEAKER_03:So So y'all are just taking it personal as well.
SPEAKER_06:I'm not taking it personal. Uh, it can't be.
SPEAKER_01:I'm trying to hold back, bro. I'm trying not to say much, but like cool. Watch this. Like in life, how many times have you been pulled over? Me? In life, seven times. Cool. In life, I've been pulled over not for speeding, but no, I've been pulled over more than seven. Ready? How many times have you been face down with a gun in your face? Zero, because I cooperate with their instructions. Hold on, hold on. No, no, no. See that see, you automatically assumed I didn't cooperate. Right. I've been I've been arrested.
SPEAKER_02:Bro, I've been arrested a lot, bro. But that's that's cool.
SPEAKER_01:That's cool. But you automatically assumed your first defense was I cooperated. Anytime I've ever had an interaction with the police, I've never not cooperated. I've never, I understand me. I have my mentality is I can pay the bail. I have people who love me who will pay the bill. I don't give a fuck about going. That part's easy. That's why is there a gun in your face? Uh because he felt like I was a threat to him. Correct.
SPEAKER_06:It doesn't happen all the time. And I'm not gonna say that.
SPEAKER_01:And I'm not saying let me let me let me just say this to the candidate. I don't think all police officers are like that. Correct. I do respect our law enforcement. But I've had guys who have literally, I'm I've left it. This isn't I've been during daytime, nighttime, whatever. I've had a guy in Pinellas out by uh uh US 19 at a time I was working for We're on 19. 19, uh a little bit off of Gulf to Bay. Alright, so nearly. So like I'm coming down the house. Was that like 49th? A little bit a little bit closer. Like when I go to Gulf de Bay, I make the left on 19 for about maybe two miles, and then my dealership is right there. Okay? So we're taking one of the rentals, one of the uh uh vehicles to go to see a service. Because we don't have an in-house service station. We gotta drop it off at our sister dealership for a service station. Mind you, I'm it has dealership tags on it. I'm pulling, I'm literally just going to the service station. I make it around the corner. Why'd you get pulled over? What was the reason?
SPEAKER_02:Driving while black?
SPEAKER_01:Is that what that's what he really wants to say, right? Just say it. I was I was a black man in a beautiful vehicle. There's plenty of those. It's not, it's not an all-the-sother time thing, but like, but the thing about it was is I literally was at a light and it turned green, and I started reaching in the glove compartment for the for the service check. Because I knew once I get there, I had to go. They pulled you over for that. Huh? He pulled me over because I was still sitting at the light. He said, Uh, hey, what are you doing over here today? I said, Oh, I'm taking this to get service. I said, Well, let me, I went to go grab my wallet that was in this passenger seat. I went like this, get out of the fucking car! Immediately. Immediately. And I and I say that it doesn't happen all the time. Oh, not all the time. But it's a real thing, bro. Like, that's a real thing.
SPEAKER_06:I I so, okay, obviously my husband is is is a white person, right? Oh, Caucasian for the mountains, a caucus. So for the, you know. And obviously, like my brother is is black, right? I mean, granted, you know whatever.
SPEAKER_02:Cat Williams, yeah.
SPEAKER_06:What I will say is, is my brother is an all-around good kid, like, you know, never been in trouble. Never, never, like you know, right, right. You know how Anthony is. Yeah. And my husband is, you know, he's gotten into trouble in the law in his past, right? But overall, he's also like on the straight in arrow, right? So they're both equally great people. Um, don't go looking for trouble, don't really do anything out of the ordinary, okay? Two. What I will say is, and this is not to down one or the other or to say, to have a mentality of like, well, your life is easier than my life. We're not doing that, right? But what I will say is, is that they both live in different realities of some sort. My brother is cognizant of the fact of, oh, if I'm I'm not gonna go running at night. Right? I'm not gonna go running at night.
SPEAKER_02:Are you talking about because of skin color? Absolutely. What are you doing out of the day?
SPEAKER_06:My husband, this would never be a thought to my husband.
SPEAKER_02:I wouldn't even go running at night.
SPEAKER_06:No, but let's say, like, you're an avid runner, right? So my my let's let's take my husband out of the equation. His younger brother, right? His younger brother, Chase, love Chase, he's amazing, roughly the same age as my brother, maybe a little bit younger. He is younger. Chase goes running at night.
SPEAKER_00:Who those fuck goes running at night?
SPEAKER_06:A lot of people a lot of people because it's cooler.
SPEAKER_03:Do they have reflective clothing?
SPEAKER_06:I don't know what he wears.
SPEAKER_03:No, but they should.
SPEAKER_06:But what I'm saying is he goes running at night. And this he doesn't have to think about it. Why? Because it's just not part of his reality that someone is going to think of him as a threat running at night. If he goes running at night, it is more. I get what you mean. I get what you mean. Now, if my brother goes running at night, because it is cooler than.
SPEAKER_03:Yo, what's a black guy doing running right now? Running in the middle of the night. What did he steal?
SPEAKER_01:What did he steal?
SPEAKER_03:A white guy's running, they're like, oh, he's exercising. Exercising.
SPEAKER_01:Exercising. It's a completely different idea. So that's a stereotype. The first time that I brought that up to.
SPEAKER_02:But it's a real one. That one I can I can kind of get.
SPEAKER_06:So the first time I brought that up to Chase, he actually that makes sense. I was like horrified. He goes, Oh, I'm getting ready to go to my run. We're in Virginia, and I'm like, We're visiting, right? The family. And Chase goes, Yeah, I'm just uh I'm just grabbing my stuff. I'm gonna go for my nightly run. And you know, everybody's white because of my husband's family. And I'm like, You're doing what? Well, Virginia is pretty black.
SPEAKER_01:No, there's depends on like depends on the black. You're talking like Richmond. Richmond's very close.
SPEAKER_06:Richmond, Norfolk, uh and um uh like Newport News and stuff like that. But even that is like it's a different type of um different demographic.
SPEAKER_02:Now, if we're aware of those stereotypes, don't you think it'd be a smart idea? Which it should be a smart idea.
SPEAKER_03:Any cyclist is required to have a taillight and a headlight on their bicycle when they're riding at night. I think anybody running at night, whether black or white, okay, should be required to wear reflective uh apparel because you can't see them if they're running in joggers and a sweatshirt.
SPEAKER_06:I don't disagree with that.
SPEAKER_01:You don't know whether they're black or white.
SPEAKER_06:I disagree with that, but it still doesn't change.
SPEAKER_01:But then that would identify them as a runner, somebody who is trying to be identified as running, which means that their likelihood of being pulled over would be reduced.
SPEAKER_06:I agree with you, and then I disagree. I agree with you that they shouldn't.
SPEAKER_02:So they should not identify themselves as runners?
SPEAKER_06:It's not that. It doesn't change the outlook of someone else.
SPEAKER_02:I get what you're saying, and I don't disagree with you. Right now, and I feel you too.
SPEAKER_06:So it's not, but it's it is um, it wouldn't change the outlook on someone who already thinks a certain way. Yeah, I get I get you don't think like that. I don't think like that. Max doesn't think like that, right? So you would never go up to someone, whether they're white or black, and be like, hey, what are you doing running at night? Because that's not who you are.
SPEAKER_01:But that doesn't mean that there aren't people who're there are people that do think like I'm not gonna lie. I'm gonna show you. You know what?
SPEAKER_02:I I I can feel you on that point.
SPEAKER_01:I'm with you, but I'm gonna show I'm gonna show my racism a little bit. Hold on, watch this. Um, if it's at night and I'm sitting out on like the porch and I see a white man pass by running, I'm gonna go, oh, good for him. That's all I'm gonna say. I'm gonna go, good for him. He's getting his exercise. But if he's a black man, it's like okay, now if it's like two or three black people running, you're gonna run too. I'm gone. I don't give a fuck what we're doing. I'll figure it out when we get there later. But if I see them in full, that's like for me, you know, I don't need I need to reflect theory.
SPEAKER_00:You're racist on your own on your own people, dawg.
SPEAKER_01:So, so the stereotype is racist, dog. I said survival thing like in my mind.
SPEAKER_03:If I do think it like that, dawg.
SPEAKER_01:I think it's my thought positive. If like black runners would look apart, right? But like if it's at night and you don't necessarily look like an avid runner, I figured out like I'm either running with him or running in the house, locking the door, locking the door. That's what it was gonna take. Like I'm I'm waiting at the door like this for the next 20 minutes. Like, if the zombie apocalypse happened, bro, it just happened. I think patient zero's in the hood.
SPEAKER_06:It is true. Like, I've asked Ryan before. I'm like, babe, if you saw somebody running, would you run too? And he was like, Why would I run? I'm like, he's like completely, he's like, Well, I would want to find out why. Why are they running? No, I'm like, I don't need to know why. And I think that that's just like indoctrinated in us to like survive. Like, hell no, I'm run. I don't gone. Yeah, gone.
SPEAKER_03:So have you guys ever seen those uh Instagram pranks where the guy's like walking next to somebody and then takes off running? Yes, and then the other person takes off and took him, took him, and then he looks up and like is it something's fallen? No, and then no, bro. I've never heard of it before and people just kind of just like I mean, who said survival? You did it, you did, yeah. So it's it's preservation of self. Yes, that's what it is.
SPEAKER_06:Listen, Darwinism at its finest. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:If you see someone trying to dodge something, you dodge it, but when I move, you move.
SPEAKER_01:Like we uh I love that you said dodge, ready? You know, it's you know how I like to do a shit. Good left. Good hard left every time.
SPEAKER_06:Do you do that while you're driving?
SPEAKER_01:No, no, no, no. I hope not. He gave me a key word that triggered another thought process. So I said, you know how I do on a podcast, we'll be on a good little path, and I'm gonna take a look at it. Oh, now we're talking about something else. Now we're talking about something. Ah, here we go. You said we said dodging, right? As a woman, now you know you're married, so it's a little different. Okay. As a woman during your single runs, what was your favorite phrase, favorite way to dodge unwanted men? Huh. See what I did there?
SPEAKER_06:Ooh, that's a great question. So you mean like in person on the DMs and the like both categories, in person and in DMs. In the DMs or in person. Um, I've always been really nice about it. Like, I never would like diss someone, uh, even if I was not interested. I might even still have a conversation with you, but I will say, like, hey, I'm really not interested in this. Um, but I'm flattered. Thank you so much. Anyway, so we can continue, you know, talking about whatever. And nine times out of ten, like, I never really got like no one was like upset with me, right? It'd be like, because okay, you know what, she's cool. Or they might try, like, okay, well, what's your Instagram, whatever? And then at that point, I can just like ignore you if I need to.
SPEAKER_02:So, do you have guys that you talk to outside of your um marital relationship?
SPEAKER_06:Um, no.
SPEAKER_02:So why wouldn't you just say, yo, fuck off?
SPEAKER_06:No, no, no. I'm talking about pre- No. Oh, okay, he's talking pre-marriage. Pre-marriage.
SPEAKER_01:Pre-marriage. Oh, I got you. Pay attention.
SPEAKER_06:So in my single days, no, I would have never said fuck off to anyone. And a lot of that is just as a woman, you need to be able to like survive, right? And so that when I say survive, that doesn't mean like, oh, I'm just gonna be slapping people to sleep for no reason. But you don't know how certain men or certain people take things, right? So if I'm like, oh, like fuck you, or like don't talk to me or whatever, like no one likes that kind of response. And if they're crazy enough, or if they want to shoot you, or they want to attack you, or whatever, I'm not doing that. We're not doing this. So it would always be easier. I used to go out a lot, I used to be an e-borne, I used to be out. Men would come and talk to me. And sometimes, hey, maybe I'm not in a well-lit area, maybe I'm not around a lot of people, I'm walking to you know, my Uber or whatever. Um, or if you're like foreign, your cat calling, hey, you know what, have a good night, Sigar. It was good to see you. I've always been extremely kind because of that. I keep my distance, I'm alert. People very much like, hey, if it's the club, hey, you know what, is it's cool getting to know you. We can dance here or whatever, but I'm I'm good. Thank you, Sigar.
SPEAKER_02:Have you ever been in a position in your life where you felt so threatened that you almost thought to yourself, like, I have no clue what's about to happen and I'm scared.
SPEAKER_06:Yes. Yes, I have.
SPEAKER_02:Um, what was that experience?
SPEAKER_06:Um, I was on a date with someone and it was in my early 20s. It was one of my three. He he brought me to a house where there were, I guess he was like, Oh, I lived here or whatever, and there was a lot of other men there. He picked you up? He picked me up. We went on a date, and then after the date, he was like, Oh, I just want to drop by my house really quickly. And I guess I felt comfortable and how many more men were in that house? There were like four or five men. Big guys. Not big, but I'm I'm a small, I'm a yeah, they're men. I'm a woman, you know.
SPEAKER_01:And like she at the time, in her early 20s, she's smaller than it is.
SPEAKER_06:It is, yeah. So we're sitting there and we're like all talking, and but I had already had a few drinks, and then he was like trying to, like, oh, do you want more to drink? And I just started feeling really uneasy because I'm like, okay, all these guys are here, I'm by myself. And when I was like, I want to go home, he was like, Well, why do you want to go home? No, now I really want to go home. You know, and so I they probably I don't know. I don't know what was gonna happen, and I don't want to find out what was gonna happen. And so I was like, How'd you get out of it? Um, I I just I made a show of it. Like I cried and I was just like, I'm leaving. Like, I'm leaving. And I think once you're already like crying and kind of acting ass a little bit.
SPEAKER_01:Every man's weakness, a woman crying.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah, so I just I was out of there. And I think I don't know if it was Uber at that time or not. I don't think so. I feel like somebody came out of it. Did he take you home? Huh? No, no, I didn't want to get back in the car with it.
SPEAKER_02:Damn, bro. Good thing he got out of there quickly.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah, like because that doesn't sound all right. No, it was weird. It was like, why am I the only girl here? You know, and because I was like comfortable, he seemed nice, you know. I'm like, okay. You you sometimes you just don't think. Was he light skin? Um, he was like E-rab or something.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, yeah, you were definitely cooked. E-rab? Yeah. Oh, you were done. Yeah, you were done. You were done. You were done. You can't. I want to be, you know. I'm gonna say it. I can say you can't say it. You gotta you gotta you got an image of oh, you're about to be a concubine. I don't wait to use that word. Cheers!
SPEAKER_06:I don't know. I just it just I felt uneasy.
SPEAKER_01:Like what's that movie taken where they take the daughter and they start to sell her in the black market? Yeah, so that's you were next. Yeah, you're about to be next.
SPEAKER_06:I've had situations like that in Ibor, too, where someone like followed me, you know, into like a store or something, and you're like, wait a minute, I saw that guy over there, he followed me here. You trying to approach me. Um, there was one night, and the guy ended up.
SPEAKER_02:So that concealed carry doesn't sound so horrible, does it?
SPEAKER_06:You know, it's a it's a 50-50 with that one. I still I'm not a gun enthusiast, but um it's not about being in the mace will do it just fine. Exactly. Like I just feel again, like bare mace. Again, like just kind of living in different realities. Like, not to say that you think a certain way or I think it, but just living in different realities. For some people, it is a godsend to have that, and for others, it is a little bit of a worry.
SPEAKER_01:Like, you know. I get that. Yeah, I'm with you. I'm with you. Now, when we come back, I'm with you. Like, I'm here, I'm I'm getting better on this. Hold on, Bucko. So when we get back, I want to dive into the we talked about going out to Ebor. I want to dive into some of our experiences going out together.
SPEAKER_06:Oh Lord.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, it's gonna get that time to embarrass you for a little bit. So when we come back, we're gonna do that, all right? We'll be right back. Like, comment, subscribe, mash that notification but follow us on all social medias at n Max We Trust. We'll be right back. Okay, we're back. Part three In Max We Trust. We're rolling back into it.
SPEAKER_06:N Max We Trust.
SPEAKER_01:So we were talking about it before. You are a now you're a retired party girl.
SPEAKER_06:I am a retired party girl.
SPEAKER_01:But there was a time way back when when we in our youth, when we were, we've been outside together a couple times.
SPEAKER_06:We were outside.
SPEAKER_01:We're boats.
SPEAKER_06:Probably Igor.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, yeah, we definitely went to Ibor. Most likely.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah, Prana was the same. Oh, yeah. We went to Prana a lot. I remember there was one time.
SPEAKER_01:Wait, so do you know Joyce? No. No, no. No, she wouldn't. It's you're talking Joyce would have still been underage. I don't know how old Joyce is. She's barely 30. Like.
SPEAKER_06:I'll be honest too. Like, I feel like I always made friends with like I'm friends with a lot of DJs. Yeah. It's always a person who's bringing the vibe. Um, never really got to talk to the bartenders because I mean, there's not there's not much room for that.
SPEAKER_01:Because you're not the one paying for the drinks.
SPEAKER_06:No, I paid for my drinks. Like, well, when you took me out though, you did treat me. So you just say, okay, okay.
SPEAKER_01:No, I'm not you when I you came out over here. I went out. I was about to ask. You did treat me.
SPEAKER_06:No, no, Max is cool. Like, if Max invites you out, you ain't gotta worry about nothing. You don't have to worry, and he'll say that too. He'll be like, just show up. And I'll be like, oh, because you know money's tight. Just show up, Melissa. Just show up for the good times. So just show up and be a vibe. I got this. Always was a vibe.
SPEAKER_01:It's easy. Now, I do remember we went out on a Saturday, and it you know, probably got five fours. So, in my mind, knowing she's a Latino woman, I'm thinking she's gonna vibe on this Spanish floor. Nope! Straight to the hood floor.
SPEAKER_06:Listen, like, it's so funny. Um, it's not to say that I don't listen to Spanish music, right? Because I do.
SPEAKER_01:We had a good bachata vibe.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah, like I like I like bachata, I like this the classics, the salsa here and there. I'll listen to some reggaeton, but we're not gonna get in my car and that's all we're listening to. Like, what? Like, we're listening to Payday and Fo by Rakim, we're listening to Jay-Z, we're listening to like She was about to say Nas.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, Nas, yeah, yeah, yeah. Nas a top 10 artist. What? Nas a top 10 artist.
SPEAKER_06:And like, I and don't get me, Jay-Z is like my favorite rapper, right? Why? Why? Great question. The man is no, I'm about to get there. Like, the man is, first of all, he's a double entendre, triple entendre, like extraordinaire.
SPEAKER_04:Okay.
SPEAKER_06:You know, so there's that. Like, you could hear his songs or his albums, like his body of works, and like listen to them more than one time and keep hearing different things. And to me, by definition, that's my definition of something good. So the thing about Lil Wayne, right?
SPEAKER_00:Like, is that oh, you don't like Lil Wayne? I do.
SPEAKER_06:I like well, I liked him when he was at his prime, right? And I'm talking about like New Orleans, the Carter one. The drought four. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The drought four. The drought four, quarter two, that was his his time, right? And so what I will say about him is although he's witty and he gives you those one-liners, right? He does it doesn't amount to a story. And for me, I I prefer it being a story, right? Like you telling me something over the course of the three to four minutes that is the story.
SPEAKER_02:So you like Biggie?
SPEAKER_06:Um, love Biggie, he's a great MC. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Eminem.
SPEAKER_06:Um, Eminem when he was doing well, yes. Back back then.
SPEAKER_03:Back then, when you talk about his mama, like 07, 2010. Even even like late 90s, early.
SPEAKER_06:Yes. Like, yeah, yeah. So I'm very much about that. But like, yeah, Lil Wayne lit, especially during that time of my life. You know, I was like a junior in high school in 2007, 2008, right? So, like, yeah, oh shit, he said, oh fuck, the next line. But if I were to really sit down and like, oh, I'm gonna listen to him.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, I wouldn't, I wouldn't really in my top 10.
SPEAKER_06:And you know, another thing too is regionally people have different tastes, right? So, like, I love up north rap. I just do. And it has nothing to do with like who?
SPEAKER_02:Huh? Other than Jay-Z.
SPEAKER_06:Like other than Jay-Z, I mean, like, I just of course I like Nas. Of course, I'm a biggie fanatic, of course. Um, let me see, like I just told you, like Rakim, like all the like old school, well, Eminem is from the Midwest. Yeah, isn't that up north? No, Detroit, that's the Midwest.
SPEAKER_01:That's Michigan, that's the North. So when people say North, they're talking about the Northeast. Oh, okay, New York. New York. You're talking about New York rappers. New York rappers. Right. So like traditionally, when you talk about you talk about New York rappers, down south rappers, Lil Wayne, Louisiana, Lil Wayne, isn't it?
SPEAKER_03:And then Tupac, West Coast. Then you got West Coast. Right.
SPEAKER_01:Then, you know. You've got your four regions, basically. Then you got that white boy out Detroit. That's it. Right. That's literally it.
SPEAKER_06:So, like my husband.
SPEAKER_01:Oh no, so what do you think about uh Lil' Yachty? Trash. It's not trash, thank you. Yeah, it's not good, thank you, bro.
SPEAKER_02:Mumble rap is garbage.
SPEAKER_06:Um, and don't get me wrong, I'll listen to some of it just for the plot.
SPEAKER_02:What about post?
SPEAKER_06:I don't like post Malone.
SPEAKER_02:No? No, white boy Iverson?
SPEAKER_06:Um no.
SPEAKER_01:It never white rapper was Eminem. Continue. I apologize.
SPEAKER_06:No, no, all good. So like it regionally, like you were saying, like, oh, like Nas is not or Jay-Z is not up there for you. Um I think by region too. Like it's so for instance, my husband will listen to rap music, right? Which surprised me when I first like met him. We were like, I was flipping through music and he heard something and was like, oh, that sounds like Project Pat. Yeah. Now, if I show you a picture of my husband, you will never think that Project Pat will be like somebody that he knows, right? And I go, how did you know that? Because I looked and it was Project Pat. I go, how do you know that? And he goes, No, I like Project Pat.
SPEAKER_02:Project Pat's from 3-6, right?
SPEAKER_06:Yes. So he likes 3-6 Mafia, he likes Project Pat. He likes Memphis rap. He likes like that. Like, so we're a Glorilla household, right? So kind of so kind of like Trick Daddy. Trick Daddy, right? No, Trick Daddy is Miami. Miami, innit?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. I thought he was 305. Take it to the house.
SPEAKER_06:Him and uh Trina were like in the same king.
SPEAKER_02:No, no, I'm thinking about somebody else. I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_06:No, no, all good. So yeah, no, like for him, he was like, yo, Jay Z sucks. He's like, why do you listen to that?
SPEAKER_03:He's like, Jay Z does suck.
SPEAKER_06:He tells me I listen to Unk Rap. He goes, babe, when I get in your car, it's like I'm listening to Unk Rap. And I'm like, well, we're gonna listen to rap from the 80s, like and from the 90s, and like, you know, Big Daddy Kane. Like, all that.
SPEAKER_01:I like early 2000s rap. That's a regional thing. Trick Daddy, but that's a regional thing. Because prior to she grew up in fucking Hillsborough. I understand that.
SPEAKER_06:But it's also cultural too. Like more.
SPEAKER_01:So did you? Okay, you're not listening. Stop arguing with me. Down South rap didn't get great until the early 2000s. Yeah, late 90s. That's when our that's when the Southern rap really took off. Rick Ross. Rick Ross, all them. Fat Joe. None of them niggas started. Yeah, New York Right. Yeah. See, I got you about to jump in there. See, but like Down South rappers didn't really take off until the 2000s. Prior to that, it was West Coast and East Coast. And that was it. Yeah, Cali rappers and New York rappers. Yep. That was all you got.
SPEAKER_03:And it wasn't even Cali, right? It was just LA rappers.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. And New York City rappers. And that was it. Yeah, that's it. So that's what I was all the that's all that was flooded on the mainstream radio. It wasn't until the 2000s where Southern rappers started taking off. Correct. And that's why. Like pli?
SPEAKER_06:No, like Outcast. Outcast. Outcast was like the first one. Luta.
SPEAKER_01:Luda. Ludacris was.
SPEAKER_06:A lot of that too was um by way of because I know that Outcast got really big. Flowrider. Freaknic.
SPEAKER_01:Flow Rider Trash.
SPEAKER_06:Flow Rider is trash.
SPEAKER_01:Name four Flowrider songs, they're just great. Let me Google them really quick. Google it. That's crazy.
SPEAKER_00:Apple bottom jeans, booze. You have no idea what that song is. You don't know what that's called. I don't know what it's called. I don't know what a lot of songs are called.
SPEAKER_02:It's called Love. Yeah, there you go.
SPEAKER_01:It's far from his career with. And you know why that song was actually a hit? The hook you just sang is T Pain. Thank you. That has nothing to do with Flow Rider. Shit. Yeah, you're welcome. Go ahead. Go ahead. Tag. I'm telling you, I'm on some music shit.
SPEAKER_06:Come on now. I'm a hip-hop head though. So that's like really, I mean, like I listen to other genres just because I grew up singing, right? So I do listen to other.
SPEAKER_02:Like what other genres?
SPEAKER_06:Um, like if you were to go through my Spotify, I'm talking about we could go anywhere from Andreo Bocelli. Well, like opera. Andreo Bocelli, Paul Potts, Luciano Pavarotti, to you might end up listening to Invention in A Minor by Johann Sebastian Bach to we're gonna probably hear um Tears for Fears, or is it Fears for Tears? Um Fears for Tears, which is like one of my favorite songs, um, Once to Rule the World. But then you might hear the sample of it by Nas and A. Marie. But then you might hear the sample of that sample by uh Two Chains and Ariana Grande. I don't know what any of these songs are. You might hear Mariah Carey, you're gonna hear something in Spanish.
SPEAKER_01:It's a hip hop, now she's that pop with Mariah Carey. Yeah, yeah. Continue, I'm ready.
SPEAKER_06:So yeah, like all the music. I love music. So when people are like, oh, I really love music, and I'd be like, no, the fuck you don't. Like you like like the one genre, you know, and that's okay. That's okay. No one's judging. But when people are like, no, like music is like my life, no, no, it's music is my life. So you like yacht rock?
SPEAKER_02:Um beach music.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah, like are we talking like um Margaritaville? Are you talking like beach boys and stuff? No, no, no, no, or like the Eagles?
SPEAKER_02:No, more like Zach Brown band.
SPEAKER_06:Um, I can't say I'm too familiar. No? But no, no, trash. I do like you. Like some country, like I like Shania Twain.
SPEAKER_00:I got my toes in the water. That's in the sand. That ain't not a worry in the world, the cold beer might. What? Are you fucking kidding me right now? No, it's beach music.
SPEAKER_01:It's beach music. It's beach music. My ass music. I know it because I know it because I You just called it trash. I know, but I know it because that sounded like trash, not gonna lie. I work at St. Pete. Oh, yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like they play that.
SPEAKER_06:You know what's so funny is I had a client that was looking for a wife, right? Really random, but uh, real estate client. And he was like looking for a wife? He was looking for a wife, so he was gonna move to Florida to find a wife. Terrible. And so he asked me, St. Pete or Tampa?
SPEAKER_05:Neither.
SPEAKER_06:I ran this one by my husband too. Pasco. And Ryan was like, he was like, babe, like, he's not gonna like the St. Pete girls. He's like, they don't shave their underarms. Bro! That was the weirdest thing to ever notice. Ryan lived in St. Pete, but he found me in Tampa. Is this the Yacht Rock?
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. And we're only gonna play like 10 seconds.
SPEAKER_06:I'm open to it, but I don't think it's a good one. No, but just watch.
SPEAKER_02:Just listen.
SPEAKER_06:No, I've never listened to him.
SPEAKER_01:Only reason I know this song is there's a homeless man off 4th Street and First Avenue. Y'all a bunch of motherfucking haters. Wait, no, there's a there's a yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Look, I like it. Ready? I know this song because a homeless man who sits with his shopping cart has his little stereo, and he's only got like it's gotta be like one CD or whatever he's playing it on. This song comes on every day, 8 37 on the dot. When I show up over there, and he just in, he's got him in the shopping cart, the stereo in the front. He plays that song. Sounds like he's playing it for you. That's cool.
SPEAKER_06:He's got you know, I'm glad he's enjoying his life. Like, I'm glad that he is visualizing himself somewhere other than where he is.
SPEAKER_00:Without a wordie in the world, a cold beer in my hand. Life is good today.
SPEAKER_06:I love that for him. Um, that's not this, you know, it I it doesn't resonate with me, but I love that for the side.
SPEAKER_01:Because I'm a bee, I'm gonna really be toes in the water, ass in the sand somewhere. You know, I'll do it for real.
SPEAKER_06:I don't know if my ass is gonna be in the sandwich, you know.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, wait, he didn't say it with you. Uh, you're the one who put that in the city.
SPEAKER_06:No, no, I said I don't think I'm gonna be with my ass in the sand anywhere.
SPEAKER_01:Come on. What? Bahamas?
SPEAKER_06:I need a towel. So you need it still on the sand. Okay, no, it said in the sand. I don't know.
SPEAKER_01:No, no, no, like to me that still count. Like saying, like you talk to me.
SPEAKER_06:I mean, it makes that distinct.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, you were talking about literal acids. No, that's too weird. Rainy, I don't want that. Exactly.
SPEAKER_03:What about Honduras? What about Honduras? Do they have uh white sand beaches?
SPEAKER_06:Um, so yeah, they do. I have yet to go to the Taurus Island, which is Roatan. Um, I really want to go because my husband is a scuba diver and I Oh shit. Is he Certified? Yeah, he just got certified not too long ago.
SPEAKER_02:How deep can he dive today?
SPEAKER_06:Um, I don't know because I scuba diving is fun. If you guys have never done it, so we're actively trying for a baby, and so that's why I haven't like gone and gotten like certified.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, I didn't know you could scuba dive if you're well.
SPEAKER_06:I just don't want to take any like because the pressure. Yeah, so I'm very sure maybe I could while I'm trying, but I would hate to like maybe have gotten pregnant in the right, like you know, just have miscarriage because there's no two extra.
SPEAKER_01:I'm doing unnecessary shit, you know.
SPEAKER_06:So I just haven't, like, but I will. That's in the plans. But yeah, um, there's really beautiful beaches, so I've heard, in Roatan, which is where the cruise ships get dropped off and where people go like for touristy activities. In the mainland of Honduras, um, there's like Intela, which is the name of that area. There are nice beaches. Um, I wouldn't say they're like gorgeous or anything.
SPEAKER_02:It's well, but but clear waters. Uh white sand?
SPEAKER_06:Not exactly. Not exactly. Like, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:So you're thinking touristy side of Honduras. Yeah, like maybe not in Ruatan. Yeah, but like regular Honduras. No.
SPEAKER_02:But what I'm saying is you wouldn't put your butt in the sand on some white sand, and well, you've already done that.
SPEAKER_01:And uh blue waters.
SPEAKER_06:Oh no.
SPEAKER_01:She put her ass on a white man, not white sand.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, what did I say? What did I say?
SPEAKER_01:Like sand. You're wild. I saw the joke.
SPEAKER_06:I was like, Max picked it up.
SPEAKER_01:I picked it up. I knew where we do it.
SPEAKER_06:It didn't land, man. Come on, Sean.
SPEAKER_01:First off, you're supposed to say that we're actually trying for a baby. The joke gotta land. She said they're actively trying for a baby. First off, do you would you prefer a boy or a girl? Or does it matter to you?
SPEAKER_06:I guess I have reasons for wanting either one. So before I used to be like, oh, I want to give birth to a boy, like I want to have a son.
SPEAKER_01:Got it.
SPEAKER_06:Um, and a lot of it is because I helped raising my younger brother. And you know, my brother and I, you know, we're tight. Like twins forever. And so I always was like, well, I don't know, like, I don't even like relate to other like girls that much. I used to say that a lot. Now, um, I look at it.
SPEAKER_01:You know what's funny is that yeah, yeah, like then is hard to put you in women.
SPEAKER_06:It was like, and not because I feel like I didn't get along with people. I think that certain women, not all, because I've met, I have amazing friends, amazing like women that I hang out with now. I think uh sometimes people are threatened by you, right? So like women are a little bit catty, like, and I just don't have the catty gene at all. Like, it's just like, what are we doing? Like, I'm not in a competition with you. I'm me, you're you, like, let's just do that.
SPEAKER_01:Like, so trust me, I know. I had girls who wanted to cut me off because I talked, I took her out one good time and they didn't know our dynamic.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah, like I'm just cool, I'm cool and we're just cool.
SPEAKER_01:And like girls are like, that's your girl.
SPEAKER_06:And it's but if I was ugly, nobody will ask you nothing.
SPEAKER_01:That's right.
SPEAKER_06:Exactly. So, but granted, I don't surround myself with people like that anymore. But I will say, if I were to have a daughter, I at this point in my life, I would be just as thrilled. No, I'd be just as thrilled. And the reason why is I would want her to not go through some of the hardship that I did and to understand, like, like, hey, I'm gonna go ahead and give you all the lessons that I learned the hard way. Will it be perfect? No, like you're gonna fuck up a kid, whether they're a boy or a girl, whatever.
SPEAKER_01:Either way.
SPEAKER_06:Even if you try your best or you know, whatever. But I think I'd be equally thrilled for either one. Okay.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Well, okay, I'll tell you this from experience. Yeah, tell me. From experience. Because you have a daughter, right? I have a daughter. Yeah. So if you're the one who initiates it, it's a girl. That's how I got my daughter. I'm screaming. That's how I got my daughter. Okay. Elaborate on that. I and glad you asked. So from my daughter, when I got here, I'll tell the story because I don't care. Um I was in the shower mind in my business. Okay. She came on to me. So that's why you I had a daughter. That's why it's a girl, because no, no, that's a that can't be the way it works. But it's a old, it's an old wives tale. That if the girl initiates, it's a girl. If the guy initiates, it's a guy. I promise you. We're gonna need some scientific things. Right. Like, I know that's a good thing.
SPEAKER_06:I don't know if that's I'm gonna team up with Sean on this.
SPEAKER_01:I don't think it's a scientific thing, but like I've heard that growing up. Or like, there's certain positions that if like that I've heard too, but I'm like, I don't think that's a real thing either, but I promise you, I have friends who are trying for kids, and they're like, I my homegirl, she's trying right now, and they want a boy, and they said something about she's gotta be at a certain angle. So she's they're finishing up.
SPEAKER_03:Or or or maybe he's gotta initiate, bro. If every fucking uh kid that was born, bro, guys initiate the majority of the time. There should be a bunch of dudes out in this world.
SPEAKER_01:My wife. Oh, that's crazy. I've had I've had girls I dated. I didn't make it in the house out the shower that long, and it's I mean, you've probably only dated somebody for more than like three years. Only dated somebody more than three years? Yeah. Usually six, six years already. Yeah, yeah, three of them. Well, one for seven, one for Damn.
SPEAKER_00:Well, Jane, you better fix your shit.
SPEAKER_06:You know what's like the funniest thing too is when you start because we've been married for a year and some change. How many times have you raped you? And so oh my god, I'm screaming. You know what's crazy though is when people ask you, Oh, are you thinking about having kids? And we say, we say, we're trying. You know, saying we're trying, and even Ryan said this. Who tries more? It's basically like saying, like, yeah, we'd be fucking. Yeah, right. You know, it's so awkward. We vote we both on a room. Like I told my like my parents, right? To me, that was a very strange conversation to have. Like with my dad. Yeah. I'm like, it's a little girl. I'm like, oh, you know, we we're trying to have a baby. And I told Ryan, and Ryan was like, babe, that's like saying, like, we'd be fucking.
SPEAKER_03:All that means is that you're different.
unknown:It's different.
SPEAKER_03:All that means is you ain't wearing a condom.
SPEAKER_01:That's no, that's all that's telling me, yeah, like you're like, yeah, yeah, I'm I'm hitting that. It's weird. It's weird because like like as a dad, you now have to look at it in twofold. Like, yeah, I'm hitting that, and I'm nutting it.
SPEAKER_06:Like, like I never thought about this until recently, but I was like, wow, like, because you know, I'm I'm very close to my brother. And it's like, wow, like we're gonna have evidence that like Ryan, like Ryan finished in me. Yeah, like it's embarrassing. I was like, damn, that's kind of embarrassing. It's funny, it's funny when you look at it like that. It's like, yo, like me being pregnant is like, yeah, like he fucked this and he finished, like successful.
SPEAKER_01:So who initiates more often? Um I know you.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah, I would say me.
SPEAKER_01:I know you? I know her.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah. So like my husband is um a gentleman and a scholar.
SPEAKER_01:How much older is he than you?
SPEAKER_06:He's not.
SPEAKER_01:He's younger.
SPEAKER_06:He's younger by eight months, but we're roughly the same age. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:No, he's younger.
SPEAKER_06:He likes to make jokes though. He does like to say, like, oh, she's a cougar. So when you were talking about your wife and you were like, she robbed the cradle, I was like, here we go. Like, here we go. It don't matter if it's one month, two months, three, a year, two years, and we'll find a way to like, you know, I'm younger. So, but most people do think I am younger than him. Um just because I feel like I'm a little bit more spirited.
SPEAKER_01:Spirited and seasoned.
SPEAKER_06:Like Ryan is very much like his.
SPEAKER_01:Does he look older than you?
SPEAKER_06:Um I don't think so.
SPEAKER_01:Like they look in the same ballpark. Yeah. Like when you look at them together, you're like, oh, this makes sense. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Like it's well, only eight months apart.
SPEAKER_06:I mean, yeah. But no, he he looks good. He keeps himself up. Ryan likes to be active. Um, he keeps me active. Did you play pickleball? You know. Um, we did try playing pickleball.
SPEAKER_01:Never doing it again.
SPEAKER_06:I loved it.
SPEAKER_01:I thought I blew out my fucking knee the last time I played pickleball.
SPEAKER_06:It's not football, it's pickleball. Relax.
SPEAKER_01:That's that's my problem.
SPEAKER_06:Like a fucking Xanax or something.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, but it's a hard court. No, it's not even that. I'm way too fucking competitive. I'm way too competitive to play pickleball. Was it two-on-two? First off, yes. Well, then how would you even get close? I don't need it.
SPEAKER_00:All you gotta do is lean over, he's gonna be able to get the city.
SPEAKER_06:No, because he's because he's running. I already know Max. He's like doing the balls. Come on.
SPEAKER_01:I in my mind, it's a full one-on-two. I would have anxiety watching you because you're gonna end up in the hospital. And I'm going everywhere. Like, I'm trying to be everywhere at one time. And dude was like, bro, relax. I'm like, there's no switch for me. Like, you know, if I compete you or something, we're going. We're going. If you tell me today we're going to the bar, we're gonna see who can take the most shots when loser pays a tab. I'm ready to die to win this, to win this.
SPEAKER_06:I feel like I've witnessed you doing that, either that or we have already played that game. We have played that game. And you lost. Yeah, like I got home. I was at home the next day and was like, I hope she lost.
SPEAKER_01:She's like a butt ten.
SPEAKER_06:I used to I used to I used to hold my own.
SPEAKER_01:She used to hold, she used to, I used to, we used to do it. Like, I used to tell guys at the bar, all right, bro, I'm gonna order these shots. If she can out drink you, you gotta pay the tax. I used to hold my own.
SPEAKER_06:Shit, you just hold my own.
SPEAKER_01:Well, what was the most?
SPEAKER_06:I mean, I never like counted.
SPEAKER_01:I've given her 10 10 shots. Well, what was the time period? I don't do long periods. Four hours?
SPEAKER_06:So what I will say is there have been many we're not even been I don't know.
SPEAKER_01:It's been a while because I I can't take 10 shots.
SPEAKER_06:What I will say is there have been many a man who thought that they were going to take me out and get me drunk and like it, honey, I'm still standing. Like, I don't know. I don't know if you can't know if you can continue. You you're not even standing no more. You're not even like sitting right no more. I'm gonna call my Uber and I'm gonna go home, and this was a great time.
SPEAKER_02:That's not Central American in you.
SPEAKER_06:I was still I would like it, it was like poised enough. Like I would still be like, okay, to like okay, well, and then go to the casino.
SPEAKER_03:No, I used to go home. I was done. Like, I'd be done.
SPEAKER_01:There were times, there were times I remember we've gone out and we've been going. I'm like, she's still like I'm I'm I'm not a small dude, so I'm over here, I'm on shot 10, I look over, and she's still, yeah. And I'm like, I know I'm gonna hurt tomorrow. Yeah. But she was still going, so then I felt the need to keep going. Well, it's because you were older than she was.
SPEAKER_02:I mean, as I get older, I can tell you, I can I drink less.
SPEAKER_06:I think that well, true. I think too, I was there was a point in life where I was a very heavy drinker. So like I used to, I used to be a whiskey drinker. I used to drink my whiskey knee, like, no ice, no nothing, give it to me up. And um, like, and I would sip at home, you know. So, like sometimes I'll have like my own handle, and so I'm like sipping or whatever. So it for me, like I was a very heavy drinker. I wouldn't say like, oh, there's a problem, but I was a heavy drinker. So that's why my tolerance, even though I'm so small, my tolerance was like out of this world. Because it was like, oh, if I'm going out to eat, I'm gonna have something to drink. Oh, if we're going out, I'm gonna have somewhere to drink. If um, you know, just whatever. It was part of my life a little bit more. When I met Ryan, because Ryan is sober, most men will say, oh, let's go grab drinks, right? Ryan would be like, oh, do you wanna go rock climbing? You wanna go do yoga, you wanna do whatever? Uh-uh. So little by little, my tolerance just came down. So I can no longer, if I smell a whiskey, I'm like, oh bitch, I'm drunk. Like, uh, get it away from me. That's why I don't drink hard liquor anymore. But yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Good for you. I'ma I'ma say this before we get to the next thing. Do we have time for one? Yeah, if you want one more, you can never do it again. Um there was a time, and I've never told her this, but we went out to Ybor. We had a wonderful evening out drinking. You and her. Yeah. Okay. I dropped her off when you had your mom's over there off 301. Okay. I pulled off, found a visitor's parking spot, slept there for some hours before I went home. Because I was cooked.
SPEAKER_00:Because she drank you under the parking lot.
SPEAKER_01:Which I mean, don't be wrong. She hurt the next day too. Yeah, probably. I was just like, no. No, Jesus. Thank you. Well, I'm glad you took I'm glad you took a nap. Yeah, yeah, definitely. Definitely had to do that. But we'll be right back for the next app, next part of the segment. Like, comment, subscribe, smash the notification button. You'll get to see more of Sean in a few seconds. We're back for more of your Max We Trust. With hard wigs and soft lives. Hard wigs, soft life. Marry a white guy.
SPEAKER_06:Listen, when I tell you that that was not my intended demographic at all. When I met him and he was like talking to me, I mean, I'm not blind. He's cute, right? Yeah, and so he's a good looking guy. And so I'm talking to him.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, let's put up a picture and let the audience judge.
SPEAKER_06:Okay.
SPEAKER_02:What is uh your Instagram? Yeah, he's not on social media.
SPEAKER_06:He's not, but you can find him on mine. Um so mine is Melissa M-E-L-I-S-S-A.
SPEAKER_02:Am I on Instagram or Facebook?
SPEAKER_06:Instagram.
SPEAKER_02:Instagram?
SPEAKER_06:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:M-I.
SPEAKER_06:No, M-E-L-E L-I-S-S-A. Don't try to get creative because I'm black. It's traditional.
SPEAKER_03:Well, I mean, Erica Erica Bugaka had a woman. Bugaka is crazy. What was it? Erica Badoo. Badoo. Badoo. Oh my god. Now both y'all just try my life here. Tumble.
SPEAKER_06:Go to, yeah. No, no, no. Yeah, that one. The second one.
SPEAKER_00:Which one?
SPEAKER_06:The second one. There you go. That's me.
SPEAKER_00:Okay.
SPEAKER_06:And you're gonna have to scroll down.
SPEAKER_00:That don't even look like you.
SPEAKER_01:That must be that hard way. I got a question. Go back to that. Go back to that. We're not gonna be disrespectful because I've known her forever. Excuse you. Excuse you.
SPEAKER_06:I've gained weight. Podcast launch? I've gained weight.
SPEAKER_01:What goes away?
SPEAKER_06:Excuse me. It is my body. Do not police me because you can't not look at it. Wait, wait, wait. What did you say you put away? Sean noticed my hair. Sean noticed me and said, you don't look like that, which I do because I just had straight hair. Oh. Depending on how my hair looks in your life, I change various versions. So what were you talking about? And he's talking about my chest.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, you're boobs.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah, you see, you see, you didn't even look, right?
SPEAKER_03:Well, no, I I caught a glance, but out of respect. That's the difference.
SPEAKER_01:Out of respect, I didn't say that. Right, like I'm gonna say it because I have her friend and I'm gonna. Well, anyways, this is new.
SPEAKER_06:Sweetheart, like I no, it's not new. I have gained weight. I still dress the same, I just weigh different.
SPEAKER_01:Okay. So this is my husband.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, okay. There he is. Look at the GQ model right here.
SPEAKER_03:This guy is literally the walking epitome of a white guy.
SPEAKER_01:First off, he's got glasses. I would trust him with my taxes tomorrow.
SPEAKER_03:What are you talking about? I already gave him my taxes now.
SPEAKER_01:I'm expecting him to invest my 401. Why not do him my?
SPEAKER_03:Where is the soft life?
SPEAKER_01:Oh, but look, look, this is okay. Davis Island Tampa. Wait right here. Yes, these are an engagement. Oh, Emily Arena. Sean, stay right here. Okay. I've known Melissa for years.
SPEAKER_02:And you've never seen her happier.
SPEAKER_01:I I shit you not. Never. Like, never. I've seen her with niggas where it's like, it's kind of happy, but there's some stress going on. I'm screaming. Like, like, oh, do the happy outweigh the bad? This looks like pure joy. Did she ever smile like that?
SPEAKER_06:I love my husband. Like, my husband is lit. Like, no.
SPEAKER_01:No, no, no. I'm saying with the other people.
SPEAKER_06:I've never seen like No, I've always had it's always been really contentious relationships. And I think a lot of it is too just because I've done a lot of self-reflection. I'm very therapy now. My therapist, she guess how money's worth with me. But um, I will say that.
SPEAKER_02:What do you talk to your therapist about?
SPEAKER_06:Huh? What do you talk about? Oh, everything. Like, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:So I life, relationships, money.
SPEAKER_06:Is she pretty? I was asking.
SPEAKER_00:Can we get her on the Instagram? What's your name?
SPEAKER_06:We're not doing this. No, not in that way. But my therapist, she is amazing. And I will say that.
SPEAKER_03:Um would you sleep with her?
SPEAKER_06:Uh, what kind of question is this?
SPEAKER_03:First off, that's an in max we trust question.
SPEAKER_01:First off, no, because it's a breach of, you know, patient confidence.
SPEAKER_06:I'm a married woman. This body only goes to one person, and that is Mr. Ryan Atkinson. Okay.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, so question. If your husband asked for never mind. Ask for a threesome? Yeah.
SPEAKER_06:I asked him when we started dating, hey, is that anything that you would like to, you know, Martin?
SPEAKER_03:Now, were you trying to catch him in a trap? Or were you asking? I don't do that.
SPEAKER_01:It just sets it sets a boundary. Like a.
SPEAKER_06:I'm a very um, and especially like when we first got together, I would consider myself to be a very sexually liberated person, right? Okay. So I asked him, hey, is that something that you've ever wanted to do at all? Like with another woman. With another woman, yeah. Okay. And first he asked me, is this a trap? That was the first question.
SPEAKER_01:Is this a trap?
SPEAKER_06:It said, this feels like a setup. It is. And I said, no.
SPEAKER_01:So it was a setup.
SPEAKER_06:It was not a setup. I was being sincere.
SPEAKER_01:She's a very open and genuine. She asked me genuine.
SPEAKER_06:If I ask you, I'm asking you. I don't have time for you.
SPEAKER_01:You're sexually liberal.
SPEAKER_06:Um, I I was, I would say, yeah. Was so you know.
SPEAKER_00:So he said no.
SPEAKER_06:He for him.
SPEAKER_00:He didn't say. Come on, cause all right.
SPEAKER_06:I asked him more than once, especially like in the beginning part two. I was like, hey, I'm really not trying to. Were you all married at that time? We weren't married yet, but we're still dating. Um, and he has made it very clear, like, hey, like, no, like, I'm good. It's not something that I like care about, honestly. Like, we're good. Cool. Now, a few years have gone by, obviously. Like, I'm, you know, 34 now, and we're married. I don't think I want to invite anybody in with the.
SPEAKER_01:I forgot who we were with that said. I think it's Adrian who said wild threatens become a thing. But I think it's boring. But it's not even that. I think it's so much also like in the dating phases where if this goes left, that happens. But now that you're married, it's such a deeper thing. Like, there's so much more to it. Yeah now bringing a person does it feel like a violation of that bond, if you see what I'm saying.
SPEAKER_06:I think um, I think a lot of it is like I've changed. You know, I think that, yeah, I'm still fun, Melissa, and yeah, I'm still pretty. I'm very open and authentic, and like those sort of things that I've always been. Um, but I'm different. Like in the same way that we could say, hey, Melissa could go shot for shot at one point in her life, you know, with a guy and still be standing. And that that was my lifestyle. Um, nothing wrong with that, Melissa. I'm not that Melissa today, right? I can't do it. So the same way that I was very open when I first met Ryan and was like, yo, like if you want to, shit, like, yeah, we could bring a baddie up in here and do what we got. Well, we do it! Right. Like, I now look at it as like, no, I don't want to share. How long ago did you get married? Um, we got married a year and a half ago. Um, well, April 2015.
SPEAKER_00:Did you asked him this question prior to being married?
SPEAKER_06:Yes, I asked him that probably at the start of our relationship. But I was like in April, in April, I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, oh, four years.
SPEAKER_01:Yes, four years. Because you were, it was right out of COVID when I saw y'all started.
SPEAKER_02:So y'all started dating and then you just threw that out to him and he said no.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:And then I'd be so you're you're kind of actually happy that he said no, because now you don't feel like you're not. I don't think it would have made a difference for you.
SPEAKER_06:I don't think it would have made a difference. Like I do feel like, hey, we could have done that at that point in life and then. Yeah, yeah, but it would have continued.
SPEAKER_02:It would have continued to be a good thing. No, no, no.
SPEAKER_06:Like, if I changed my mind and was like, hey, I don't think I want to continue with this dynamic, um, I don't think he's gonna be like, well, you did it before, so why not? Because my husband's not that person either. So it just would have been like, hey, I don't feel like doing this. Like the same way, like, you know, you get tired of things, right? Like if you ate something every day, and then one day you were like, Oh, I don't want to eat this every day, like, or I don't want to do this, I'm good.
SPEAKER_01:That's a lot. Chicken I'm eating every day, all day, every day. Listen, I'm gonna find me a chicken. You feel me? Like, I'm I'm telling you right now, I know this is off topic. The black guy saying chicken, though. But I should tell you that every country I've ever been to. Mexico? You eat chicken wings, Mexican chicken? I mean Mexican chicken wings.
SPEAKER_06:You know what I put Ryan on recently? Well, I didn't put him on, but he was like, Melissa, you gotta be fucking kidding me. He was going to a Chinese restaurant to pick us up some food. He asked me, babe, what would you like? Chicken wings. And I said the chicken wings with some duck sauce instead of strip fried rice. He was like, babe, he goes, I'm not trying to be funny. Because we're very open and candid in the outfit.
SPEAKER_00:Chicken wings from a Chinese.
SPEAKER_01:It'll fuck you up. It's so fucking cool. Fuck you up.
SPEAKER_00:Maybe your booty hole. I mean, it's a good thing. Have you ever eaten them? No.
SPEAKER_06:Oh my god. I got oh next. What are we doing? What's the next one? You gotta go to like the plum tree. Yeah, you gotta. You know what I'm talking about.
SPEAKER_01:The plum tree.
SPEAKER_00:I need no Chinese chicken wings, bro. Why?
SPEAKER_01:What do you order from a Chinese spot? Uh oh, well, not chicken wings.
SPEAKER_02:What do you order? The General Tao's general towns. No!
SPEAKER_01:Oh my god! That's whatever. That is blasphemous. Ready? Name one Chinese spot you've ever seen. Rats, dogs, or cats around.
SPEAKER_03:What is funny? I mean, did you say hooters?
SPEAKER_06:So what I will say is, I'm not gonna, I'm not, I'm not gonna feed into whether it's gonna be chicken or not. We're not, I'm not doing this. Y'all not finna get me caught up. No, no, no, no.
SPEAKER_00:If you get Max's point, uh I'm not gonna, you, you're not gonna, you're not gonna.
SPEAKER_06:You can't cancel me. You can't cancel a member of gym membership. You're not gonna get me caught up. But what I will say, what I will say is that the chicken wings out of any Chinese restaurant are busting. And get you some duck sauce with it. So good. Don't knock it till you try it. That is all I have to say about that.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, it's so good. Damn it, Max.
SPEAKER_03:You're making me think, bro. Yeah, it'll fuck you up, bro. You're making me think.
SPEAKER_01:This is like the best. No, no, no, no.
SPEAKER_03:No, because you don't see any dogs or cats. Never. Or even motherfucking birds around new China walk. Just for the record, I never I never looked, so I don't know. She pleads the fifth. You know what? Now that you that you do go to a Chinese pond. I'm not looking at it.
SPEAKER_06:Look, look, I just want you to know that that that is gonna be a race car, my partner.
SPEAKER_03:But but you can't fake a chicken wing.
SPEAKER_06:You can't can't fake a chicken wing.
SPEAKER_01:That's real. The chicken wings are winging. Well, because you got two bones. I mean, you can't fake it. Can't fake that. I'm gonna tell you like this. Oh, God. You just ruined Chinese fucking. Look, ready, ready? But here's my thing. Like when it comes to food spots, if you've got an A plus health A plus health inspection ready, I don't want it. What? Give me that B minus.
SPEAKER_06:It's like the Waffle House. Yeah! You know, one of my friends shout out Kim Jenkins. Um, she put on her, like, I think it was TikTok or Instagram, like, if the Waffle House is clean, don't go. The Waffle House is nasty.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_06:And she was like, you know, I just I couldn't resonate with something like that.
SPEAKER_01:How does that make sense?
SPEAKER_00:If the Waffle House is clean, it's a cultural thing. The Waffle House is nasty? Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:It's not Angle Bino Season, like the food is not. I need a two-day old grease. You know what I'm saying? I need that. I need that. I need that dude who's who's got he making bacon for all day.
SPEAKER_06:Sean is gonna come out of here so educated today. He's got we've got we've got chicken wings from the Chinese restaurant. That one, yes. The Waffle House being. I don't know. It doesn't have to be.
SPEAKER_01:That one is, I don't know about that one. All right, there's a time. There's a spot. We got the head wraps.
SPEAKER_06:No, no, you know that like what? You said come out. We learned about Erika Badu today. This has been very good.
SPEAKER_00:Aika bajija.
SPEAKER_06:You know, not bug whatever he said. Bugogi state. Bahija baguka. Oh my god, it sounds so bad.
SPEAKER_01:It sounds like I'm not even gonna say what it sounds like. So have you been to Girl and the Grill? Girl. Wait, wait, say that again? Girl and a grill. Pull it up on Instagram. It's Girl and the Grill. Okay. It's a breakfast spot. Okay. Where is it? It's off Nebraska, close to like MLK. Right? It's Girl and A grill? Yeah. Oh, it's right there. It's the first one you popped up. That one right there. This little lady. Oh, she got a donk. No, no, no. But look, but look, go to the food. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_06:Go to the home. I can't, I can't. I'm already done.
SPEAKER_01:Is this a porn? Yeah, Ryan. What is going on now? The$5?
SPEAKER_06:You see me? Damn.
SPEAKER_01:Is there a mannequin? It's a mannequin. Relax. So what is what is the intended focus here? I don't know. Right. I don't look. I'm going to tell you like this. I went there the other day. Shout out to Girl and the Grill. I went there the other day, and when I tell you she paid you to say that, Max? No, not yet. I know that's right. We're getting there. But I went there and the energy was crazy. Where's it at? Is that you said on Nebraska, right? Nebraska close to MLK in Tampa. It's in a corner in a parking lot. I'm assuming. Yeah, yeah. Little corner spot. But everybody's there. They got this little.
SPEAKER_06:I'm gonna go check out her food.
SPEAKER_01:I don't think, you know, the Instagram is for me, but I'm gonna go check out the food because I'm gonna support it. It's got a good breakfast joint.
SPEAKER_06:Like you said, the$5 holler. The$5 holler.
SPEAKER_01:Damn, bro.
SPEAKER_00:She got 32,000 followers.
SPEAKER_01:Exactly. She on her shit. I respect it.
SPEAKER_00:Damn, she be swallowing that girl in the grill. Oh my gosh. So they have the$5.
SPEAKER_01:Right. Talk about the$5 holler. So like when I get out, I'm a very simple dude. I just want grits, eggs, bacon. Okay. That's all I want. Okay. So they got it in a$5 holler. Heard. A little to-go joint. Okay. When I tell you.
SPEAKER_06:$5 is good. In this economy?
SPEAKER_01:I'll take that. Bruh. It's and it's like so one day, one day I took it and I dumped it out. Dumped it out.
SPEAKER_06:In like a bowl. In like a bowl. Oh.
SPEAKER_01:So I had, so I had. No, no, no, no. So I had, you know, you know the little the little grip bowls that come from uh Waffle House? Yes. So I had one of those.
SPEAKER_06:Okay.
SPEAKER_01:Right? Because I like to wash every use them for like my rice.
SPEAKER_06:I'm saying yes, like I've actually eaten one. No. I used to go for the bigger.
SPEAKER_01:So you stole a bowl from Waffle House? I bought a bacon egg and cheese grip bowl. Oh. Ate it, cleaned it out, and then I can leave my rice in it. Oh. Because it's the perfect proportion size. And then you went and got So I got the$5 holler from that.
SPEAKER_06:Wait a minute. I have to.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, watch me work. Watch work.
SPEAKER_02:So we're drawing the pieces together. So I have I have.
SPEAKER_06:No, no, no. I'm following, but I'm also dissecting while I'm following. Max, you weren't shitting yourself after eating Waffle House, and then you went to go and get more food. Days later. Days apart. Okay, okay. I just had the container at the cotton. Okay, now I'm understanding. Why are you with me? Because I was like, why the fuck are we eating more than one breakfast?
SPEAKER_03:She had you just on a tour.
SPEAKER_01:She had me on a tour. No, I'm not on a tour. Days apart, okay? So I just wanted to see proportionally how big this actually is. Okay. So I took it and dumped it into the Waffle House because I said, Oh, this is the same fucking thing. Now I'm mad because Wava House is gonna charge me$11. 11? Yeah, the the 11 almost 11. Yeah, but if you go to that place, five bucks. And it's probably better because she's making it. She made it right there. Out of a food truck. It's not a food truck, it's a small, like actual food. I think uh she probably has a truck too, though. Some people have she's got the the building itself, and then there's a truck on the side. Oh, okay. Yeah, so they're using the actual building, but I'm assuming at some point now when you're doing this, is that talking about her booty? First off, first off, I bow out of this conversation. If she throwing that booty, I'm throwing ones. Oh five ones? Five. I'm excited. Wait, uh, why is that yeah? Well, five dollars. Excuse you.
SPEAKER_06:I hate it here. This is the ghetto. No tax.
SPEAKER_01:No tax. You've never thrown ones on somebody?
SPEAKER_06:Yeah, I have. Oh, okay. There you go. At a strip club where it's in 10. You know what's so crazy is that's how I know like I was changing too. Because I used to go and just eat at a strip club just randomly, right? Like Jesus fucking. Where'd you go? Where'd you go to eat at a strip club? I would go to Penthouse. Yeah. There you go. So when I was like, free lunch.
SPEAKER_01:Penthouse$5 cover. Yeah. And Penthouse is gonna start paying us because we keep referencing them way too much.
SPEAKER_06:You know what's crazy is that?
SPEAKER_01:I mean, you said you were talking to me. I know, I need that.
SPEAKER_06:I remember he needs that. I well, it doesn't go with my brand, but he needs that. And we support the naked hustle nonetheless. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But um, I remember telling Ryan in the beginning of our relationship, I'll be like, Yeah, like you could get like a good meal at the strip club. He probably thought I was crazy when we first met. Because he's like looking at me, he was like, Wait, so people go to the strip club to go eat.
SPEAKER_01:Literally.
SPEAKER_06:And I go, Yeah, they have a really good steak. Like that part.
SPEAKER_01:I've never been there.
SPEAKER_03:I've been to the penthouse. I've never I've never eaten there.
SPEAKER_01:That's wild.
SPEAKER_03:Everybody fucking says this. That's wild. They're like, nope, it's a strip club. It's good food.
SPEAKER_01:I'm like, there is no way there is good food at the penthouse. All right, cool. So you're saying next time, if we ever go.
SPEAKER_06:I haven't gone to a strip club in the first time I went to a strip club in years was probably last year. And prior to that had been years. Because again, my husband is not trying to go to the strip. Like, what?
SPEAKER_02:Everybody always brings up the steak though. The steak is the steak is fire. I just I can't believe it. I can't believe it.
SPEAKER_01:I haven't gone like you know what we're gonna do? Here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna bring him a steak from like Ruth Chris, and then bring him one for Penthouse.
SPEAKER_03:I'm just gonna tell him which one and then cover both of them and say, hey, which one's better?
SPEAKER_06:Yeah, yeah, I should do that for like a segment. Yeah. Y'all should do that for a segment.
SPEAKER_01:Don't do it. I'll set it up. We got one this weekend, right? Uh next weekend.
SPEAKER_06:I almost like want to be.
SPEAKER_01:The 27th. The 27th. Okay, I got you.
SPEAKER_06:I almost want to be like a witness. You wanna come back? I I mean if I'm in. Can I get a witness? 27th is the next one? 27. I just you know if if Sean's heart can take it.
SPEAKER_01:Well, it's actually it's uh with Yaz. Oh yeah, you'll be all right. Yeah, yeah, I think I'll beat on her too much.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:One of my friends.
SPEAKER_06:So I don't I don't want to like in encroach.
SPEAKER_01:It'll be perfect. No, no. It's funny because the first one we filmed with her She had it, she had a co host. It was with another woman that was Ashley King.
SPEAKER_00:Shout out, Ashley King. Boom.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_06:Okay.
SPEAKER_00:Okay.
SPEAKER_06:Well, fuck it. I mean, I'm if I check my calendar and I have nothing, then what do we got?
SPEAKER_01:So 27th at 9:30 a.m. A.m. Yeah. A.m. Yeah, that means, damn, that means. That's a Saturday. That's tough. That means I gotta get the steak the day before.
SPEAKER_00:I'm not fucking doing that, bro. I am not eating any fucking steaks from strip clubs.
SPEAKER_06:What temperature do you eat your steak?
SPEAKER_00:Medium rare.
SPEAKER_06:Okay. So see, I gotta go audible. So you gotta get it, you gotta get it like rare. So that way if you reheat it, it'll be medium rare.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, okay, okay, okay. So we're gonna drop it in the fucking microwave. Or I can go with that, man. Here's what we'll do. Uh uh. Or we will do it canceled. We'll just do episodes from each location.
SPEAKER_06:So you guys are. You can't do you can't take your cameras.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, we can. You could. Oh you had to get a you had to get a uh release form, but we could do it. We the studio owns the cameras, yeah.
SPEAKER_06:Oh my god, can you imagine? I'm gonna go home and I can imagine. I'm gonna go to this trip club. Just he actually, because I'm so far-fetched with shit, he would be like, I don't understand, but okay, yeah, like that I have to say, like I'm super grateful for.
SPEAKER_01:We're comparing stakes. We're gonna take Ocean Prime, we're gonna take Ocean Prime.
SPEAKER_06:He could come with he would never he would never step foot into it, he would not do it. That's cool. He would not do it, but he would be like, hey, if if that's something you're gonna do.
SPEAKER_00:I am a good, wholesome Christian man.
SPEAKER_06:But we're not gonna do it right now. I wouldn't like you.
SPEAKER_01:We're not gonna do it. I love my ended on hair poor. This man gotta be a gentleman.
SPEAKER_03:Or three fucking feet underneath the leg. Probably. It's amazing.
SPEAKER_06:Ryan is probably the most amazing person I've ever met in my whole life, and that's why we're married.
SPEAKER_01:Um saying a lot because she's been known me.
SPEAKER_06:He's he's very cultured. I've been known. That's a good compliment. Yeah. My husband, even in his vows, like my husband was like, hey, I vow to like, of course, he said it better than what I'm about to say, but he said, I vow to always allow you to have your own voice, even in times that I don't understand. I will try my best, you know, and that's really all I ask. Like, my husband has like pulled me, you know, when you meet someone and they push you to do better, but not because they're telling you to do better, right? My husband obviously has the same 24 hours in a day that everybody does. And he led me by example. He never told me, Oh, you have to do this or you need to be this person or you need to do that or whatever. By example, he just was better. He just was better. And it made me, it inspired me to like, hey, I'm gonna do more with my time. Hey, I'm gonna be more focused, I'm gonna be more channeled. That man is so structured. I've never met someone so linear in my life. And it works because I'm the opposite, right? And so I'm his fun.
SPEAKER_02:I'm the person that's like well, he he taught you that, hey, we're two individuals, we are not each other's lives, we are in each other's lives. Correct.
SPEAKER_01:And he showed you what a true leader in a relationship is.
SPEAKER_06:Without trying to like manipulate or change me, because the thing is, is I feel like I'm a very strong personality. And I'm not everybody's cup of tea.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, that's true.
SPEAKER_06:And there are some men that I've been with, I don't know what he said, but I know it was slick, but it's okay. We're gonna let it slide. There are some men that I have met in my lifetime who don't like that or are not used to that, and it doesn't work because now you're well, why aren't you like this? Or what? Because I'm just not like I'm not, and because as a woman, sometimes you are supposed to stand down. My husband doesn't expect that of me. And because he doesn't expect that of me, I am submissive to him because he's never been like, oh, well, you have to, because I said, No, you know what? You treat me well, I'll cook for you, I'll make sure the house is clean. Um, yeah, like what's his favorite dish? Um, that I made rigatoni. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Please say rigatoni. No, it's not. I don't know why, but that's been on my mind for the last two days.
SPEAKER_06:I know his favorite pasta is panay. Um, cool, I'm with him.
SPEAKER_02:But but but the one thing that you cook that he can't. He cannot live without.
SPEAKER_06:He doesn't cook, so I mean anything I make. I know I'm I'm I'm thinking.
SPEAKER_02:Coochie. Uh damn cheating.
SPEAKER_06:I am screwing internally. He likes when I make um like I braise like short rib.
SPEAKER_01:And I'll make like a homemade rib. You make braid short rib? That's just gas.
SPEAKER_06:When your man retires you and you don't have to live in a life of struggle. Oh, I'm cooking any what? I will take three, four hours in the kitchen.
SPEAKER_00:What my wife don't make me no braided short rib and she don't work.
SPEAKER_01:Oh shit. Eat alone, lead alone.
SPEAKER_06:You know, my yeah, Ryan doesn't, you know. Jim, we're gonna have conversations. Oh, I like to be in the I fucking hate being in the kitchen, but I love my husband. So, like, and if he affords me a life that I've like never had before, and he's like, hey, we're gonna spend money to do your podcast. We're gonna spend money to like do this, do that. If that is what you want to do, I've never been able to do what I want to do in my life, I've always been supporting other people. So, yeah, like I whatever I can do to take care of you.
SPEAKER_02:Like, no, I'm happy for you. You you seem very happy with your marriage, and that's that's something that you really don't get uh to hear from a lot of people is a lot of people usually complain about their marriages, but you have been nothing but praises.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, singing and praising Ryan. So, Ryan. Shout out to you, my guy. Yeah, bro, you figured it out.
SPEAKER_01:Now, now I'm gonna I'm gonna ask you this question. I'm gonna need you to look right there. Okay. Right there when you're looking at it. How do you feel women should handle a man who's in leadership in a relationship? Do you think maybe we should do a 10-minute oh yeah, we'll do it. We'll give it a 10-minute, we'll do a 10-minute, we'll do a 10-minute because I gotta ask that. Hold tight, we'll be right back. We're gonna run it back. Like, comment, subscribe, mash the notification button. I'm having a really good question. But anyway, so I have a question, man. Okay. I have a question. When it comes to Well, no, you gotta take us in. I thought I thought you were going to. But anyway, so we're back for another round of Imagine Trust. We're talking a little bit of relationship here.
SPEAKER_05:Okay.
SPEAKER_01:When it comes to women of today, the modern woman.
SPEAKER_05:Okay.
SPEAKER_01:Do you feel the modern woman is ready to be led? As a women in general. Do you think they're prepared to be led?
SPEAKER_06:Okay, so um we have we have a little bit to unpack here, right? Talk to me now. So I think in modern times, it's like having a pendulum swinging, right? And so back in, I guess, like, I don't want to say like olden times, but like, you know, like 1950s, 1960s, just in the past, right? Um, um a woman's choice, well, the only option that you had as a woman was to get married, right? And so the man had to take care of everything for you. And as you still do, but you had no options as a woman, right? Like you you had to get married because you can't, you can't go buy a house by yourself. You can't, you couldn't even have your own bank account, right? Like you needed to have a man, and so it was kind of easy for us to fall into that, like, well, feminist, well, women have to do this and men have to do that. And so you really relied upon each other. There was on social media, there was nothing. There just in the reason why I'm gonna tell you why I'm saying it's like a pendulum swinging, right? Is that the pendulum swung, I guess, a little bit more in the man's favor at one point because it was a man's world. Absolutely. And so not every man is a good man. And so some women were in really unfortunate circumstances, right? And so you have women that ultimately maybe they're getting beat up in their home or they're getting mistreated or they're getting cheated on. And this woman has no option but to stay in this situation. So you know what happens? Women become feminist, right? And they say, Well, fuck this. I'm gonna, I'm gonna fight for you know certain rights, which I'm I'm glad that we fought for those rights, right? But I'm gonna fight for these rights, and you know, I'm not gonna let a man push me over anymore, right? And so then we become indoctrinated to that. And so what happens is is you go from one side of the pendulum and we swing, and now we're all the way on the other side of the pendulum, right? And so I think that in modern times we're at a point where some people are like trying to do like the whole like trad wife, whatever shit, right? But we've got into trad wife, like traditional, like wife and traditional husband roles. They're trying to like go back to that, and that's like if they're leaning more conservative. But what I'm saying is we took the pendulum, we went all the way to one way, and we came all the way to the other side. And now we are in a situation where there are women who truly feel like, well, I don't need a man because I can do everything that I need to do for me, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then you've got men who hate certain women that are like that. And so now we've just got men hating women and women hating men. And honestly, we all need each other, right? We need we need to be together, we need to love one another.
SPEAKER_01:Well, that's how babies are made. But not from a physical sense, but from No, no, no, no. I get what she's saying.
SPEAKER_06:But also true. Like, that's another thing, too. Like, we're at a decline and like for fraternity rate in the United States.
SPEAKER_02:Correct.
SPEAKER_06:So when I met my husband, I was definitely of the camp of, you know, like, not like, oh, I hate men, but it was like, no, I'm very independent. Like, I've learned to need you. Yeah, like I don't need you, I want you, but I've I've also, it comes from a place of hurt. Like, I've learned to have to be self-sufficient. I've learned that, like, okay, well, if I need money, fuck it, I'm gonna go join the military. I'm gonna learn how to shoot weapons, I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do that. I've always been very scrappy, very resourceful, and I've always been the type of woman that it's not a like, oh, like I'm gonna wear like a badge of honor, like I don't need a man, but I did feel like I have to be tough for me, and there's no one that's gonna come and save me, right? I met my husband and he softened me a lot. My husband didn't come and say, well, you don't have to worry about it because I'm the man. He showed me he was the man, right? So that is why over time it's a trust thing. I was like, I can trust him. I can trust him enough to like, okay, let's put down this wall, let's put down this other wall, let's put down this because we're a team. I trust him enough with my feelings, with my heart, and that's why I'm able to submit to my husband, and that's why I'm able to hold him up here. That doesn't happen all the time. Some men get impatient with women who are like, well, what? And the more impatient you are with a woman who's probably coming out of a hurt trauma traumatic situation, it's it's not gonna it's not gonna happen the way you want it to happen. Both people have to meet each other halfway.
SPEAKER_02:So yeah, like and that's a great description.
SPEAKER_01:Well, to piggyback off what she said, I think from a man's let me because you gave it from a woman's perspective, I think from a man's uh perspective and what I see of the dating world now, I think it's a lot of people not dealing with their traumas in past relationships and carrying that to the next thing. Because as men, there are times where like you said, impatient. A woman wants you to be, women sometimes have an idea of I want my man to be this, this, this, this, and this, and then try to fit you into that category. So they're dating the idea of what their perfect partner is six feet, six inches, type shit. You know what I mean? That's that's somebody else. But like that's that's a thing. Like I've seen women uh discredit great men because they don't check every box. Like he may be a great financial provider, he might be a great protector, he may be able to lead you into the next great phase of your life, right? But you you've come across women of the era where it's like that's great, but he's he's not six-foot.
SPEAKER_06:Um, I think that a lot of people that has to do with like social media too. And that and that's I think so. Back in the day, if you and me lived around the corner from each other and we grew up together, this is let's say 1940.
SPEAKER_05:Okay.
SPEAKER_06:We grew up right around the corner from each other. I see Max all the time. Hey Max, how you doing? We get to the point where we hit puberty, right? And you're like, damn, like you know what? I think I like Melissa. And I go, damn, I I think I like Max. And then we start like you court me or whatever. We start dating, we start going steady, right? Yeah, if you will. I like that phrase. Yeah, you date that's what they used to call it. Like we're going steady, right? Okay, and then what happens? Okay, well, now we're older and boom, we're just gonna get married. Why? Because my my world is a small world because that's how it was back in the day. Absolutely. Now people are feeling like other people are very replaceable, and that is because of social media. So if I don't like how someone's acting, oh, you know what? Max acting up, I'm gonna block him. And let me go check my DMC. And let me go on Tinder and swipe right.
SPEAKER_01:But really, women don't even have to go to Tinder anymore because social media has given a platform to men and women. Let me not just I don't want to feel like I want women to think I'm attacking y'all. But attention is a click away. Attention is easily a click away, whether it be the likes, the comments, the DMs, however you want to do it, that attention is very easy to gain from anywhere. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Like like well, women also get it in their day-to-day lives. I mean, you can go to the gas station and just smile at someone holding the door for you and they're like, I got a chance.
SPEAKER_06:I think uh we live in a world now of instant gratification. Um, there is not any, like, people don't have like tenacity and grit. And this is not just romantically, like, but people just don't have to, yeah, in general, people don't have tenacity nor do they have grit like what they did once like before. And so we live in a world of instant gratification where everything is easy and everything is predicated on popularity and likes, and and oh, like I feel neglected because you didn't, you didn't, I don't know, you didn't call me beautiful this morning, so now I'm gonna dump you and I'm gonna go find someone else to do it. And I can only speak from a woman's perspective because I'm a woman. And although that's like a like a dramatic way to put it, um, it's over exaggerated. But it it but we live in a world where like, okay, I'm not acting right. If you have a girlfriend and she's not acting right, I'm I'm gonna block her. I'm not even gonna, I'm gonna block her and I'll You're not gonna try to fix it?
SPEAKER_01:No, more than all that's the era we live in. It's the era we live in. Yeah, it's it's very much a there's no more we're gonna make this shit work. Like, like I'd say from our generation and under. Now, us as individuals, I have a different mindset. But if I'm talking about general generationally speaking, people look at their spouse as very replaceable.
SPEAKER_06:People get married for the people.
SPEAKER_01:That's why I said individual within the room, we don't feel that way. But generally speaking, people get married for Gen Zers look at it as like this person can be replaced. This is another reason I say somebody asked me about marriage, right? Okay, talking about marriage. What's your take on it? I think marriage now is the big one of the biggest risks men will have to take ever. Here's why. If let's say let's well you're married, so we're not gonna go, but if you want to. I understand. Yeah, just a woman. Let's say we get married, right? We get married, we then have a child, right? At any given time, if you wake up and say, This isn't for me, you now get to leave and take half. You get take half of what half of my money and child support, and you're getting child support, alimony, and you're taking my kid. And now I'm at the at your mercy for time with my child, especially in Florida, because it's a mother state. So if if this goes left and for whatever reason, damn dog, that is so real. At bare minimum, it's 50-50. So I went from seeing my kid day to day to now with just how work and school and everything adds up, I might get three days' tops with my kid. Sorry. You know what I mean? Like half your paycheck, and half my paycheck is gone.
SPEAKER_06:I think um No matter how present of a father.
SPEAKER_01:Even though the mother probably won't even spend that money on the child. Well, it's not even that. Ready? The mother may have initiated the separation. Yeah, it's a no-fault state. It's a no-fault state. So even if she initiated the separation, so she chose to leave. The guy is understanding the the financial aspect of it, you chose to leave. So you're saying it's a bigger risk for us men to get married, have a kid with a wife, even even to get married.
SPEAKER_03:To get married in general. Because even if you don't have a kid and you guys separate, she still gets hacked. She gets half. She gapped.
SPEAKER_00:And she gets alimony payments. So, okay. So this is why everybody in the audience should understand get her to sign a prenup, like I did with my wife.
SPEAKER_02:Even though I love my wife. I'm a prenup.
SPEAKER_06:So we live in a world of desensitization. We're desensitized. Yeah, desensitization. Yeah. That's what we're doing. We're desensitized. I got you. And we're desensitized. Desensitized. Oh my God, can I speak? Desensitized in the way of like um divorce means nothing. People get married now for for the pictures, for the photo up.
SPEAKER_02:53% divorce rate in America.
SPEAKER_06:So people treat it like they're so desensitized by all of these things. Now, you mentioned a prenup and how much of a risk it is for a man who has assets to make a woman not make pretty much.
SPEAKER_02:Not if she signs a prenup, though.
SPEAKER_06:To have them sign a prenup, right? And to get married and to have kids, all of the above, right? Um, and although I I can't respect where you're coming from. Fuck yeah. So as a woman who was already working, who had her own place, who had, you know, her own stuff, whatever, um, I have always reveled in the fact that I have my own shit, right? There's nobody who's gonna come and tell me, get out of my apartment, get out of my shit. This is my baby. Like, you're not gonna tell me nothing.
SPEAKER_02:Well, you know, prenup protects both ways, right?
SPEAKER_06:It does. But let me let me finish what I'm going through, right? With this. My husband is a person that had assets before he met me. He already had his own assets. Now, um, I did not come into the marriage having those same things. I had nothing. I had meat, I had my little job, I had my little apartment. That's what I came with. When we were talking marriage already, because you know, like you start talking about stuff, I was very quick to tell my husband, hey, I know you have I don't know what you have exactly because I'm not pocket watching you, but I know you have money that I don't have. So if it feels comfortable to you before you want to ask me to marry me, or if you're thinking about marrying me, and it feels comfortable to you to have me to sign a piece of paper, we could do that and we could throw that, we could throw that paper in a safe, wherever the fuck you want to put it. So you're the one that announced it. Absolutely, because I felt you're because as a human, yeah, and it's not a man-woman.
SPEAKER_02:Well, no, because my wife, I mean, she signed it, no hesitation, because she also had assets, but you're saying you initiated that conversation and you were like, yo, to make you more comfortable, I'm willing to sign that.
SPEAKER_06:It's not even to make you more comfortable, it's too much.
SPEAKER_02:Every person should.
SPEAKER_06:It's a legal thing, right?
SPEAKER_00:I mean, you're you're signing something at a in the court of citrus uh court of district court on a marriage license.
SPEAKER_06:Because if it was the opposite way and I was coming in with assets and he had none, yeah, I I would be like, hey, let's talk about this. I need to protect my assets. I have a brother. If my brother had, you know, X amount of money and he was gonna marry someone, like, hey, you were not thinking in that. We hopefully you don't get divorced, but in off chance, right? So, with that being said, my husband, it we were nearing the date of our wedding, you know, hey, we're gonna get married, we're gonna get married, we're gonna get married. Are you we sat down, we had a conversation in which he said, Melissa, we are married, we're gonna get married, we are going to be one. That means everything is going to be one. We will not be doing this document at all. Okay. So I also know, right? Like, and I love my husband, and I we're not looking at like, oh, we're gonna get a divorce, right? But if we do, if we do, I have enough faith that first of all, Ryan would not leave me hanging. And I also would not take advantage of Ryan. And that's not coming from a place of like, like, I don't, I'm sure I'll be angry at him one day if we ever to work to get a divorce. When I'm thinking about it, but if we ever were, it would it gets messy, right? Like be people get angry, but I don't think that his character would change, nor would my character change. And if I'm proven wrong, then you know, hey, like I'm proven wrong. But that's how I look at it. Like, hey, we are one, I'm not gonna take advantage of you. I know that if we have a child and we get divorced, you're gonna take care of your kid. I don't need you to take care of me. But if you feel like because I stopped working.
SPEAKER_02:And you know that he's not gonna not take care of your kid. Correct.
SPEAKER_06:And it's also it's a risk for me. I stopped working.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_06:If if Ryan told me today, hey, I'm fucking tired of you, like you gotta go.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, but you know his character and he wouldn't.
SPEAKER_06:But he wouldn't, but it is it the risk goes both ways. So I hear you, my man. I hear you when you say, hey, I got assets, you know, I gotta protect them. But also for a woman, it's a risk too, to like, hey, okay, well, I'm under you completely. Watch this.
SPEAKER_01:Well, I just said I was waiting for her to get to this point. So it sounded like during the vetting stage of the relationship, you vetted out the person who he is to understand that that's not in his character.
SPEAKER_06:Correct. And I think that people are missing that.
SPEAKER_01:People miss that. Yeah. And I said it in a clip we just recently posted, especially when it was talking about um like the baby mom and baby daddy thing. Like to the ladies, do you feel like your relationship with your baby daddy would be better had you did a better job in the vetting stage before you you know what I mean? That's a loaded question, too. I know, that's why I got it.
SPEAKER_06:You really gotta pay attention though. It's really hard because some people do wear a mask, both men and women. Some people wear a mask very fucking well. Um, so there's there's that aspect of it. Um, but I will say, like, and I I've been in a lot of relationships that were really shitty to know, like, okay, what I thought was normal, or like I've been able to reevaluate myself, and some people don't get to get to that point, right? Um, but when I met Ryan, I think it was like intention that I was really paying attention to. Absolutely. Um, there was a hurricane that was gonna come, and we had just started dating. Um, no, it wasn't, I can't remember the name, honestly, but it was like four years ago, it was a hurricane that was gonna come. And we were gonna go on a date, but he stopped to pick me up and he said, Wait, I have paper towels and some water in my trunk for you. I don't know where you're staying for the hurricane because we were pressing.
SPEAKER_02:I mean, he bought supplies for you. Yes. Yeah, and he's to make sure you were good.
SPEAKER_06:To make sure that I was at least okay. He said, Hey, I don't know where you're going, or you know, if you need a place.
SPEAKER_02:But if you don't, like, this guy sounds like an overall great guy. He's amazing. Like, and to Do we get to meet him? Yeah, yeah. Can we?
SPEAKER_06:Let me like interview. Imagine we're just gonna roll up to my house right now. Like, we're seven minutes away. But like, yo, what's up, Rye? But he, you know, he he did that, and I thought to myself, this man cares about my well-being. You know, I had it, my baby.
SPEAKER_02:I'm assuming that you also reciprocate the same kind of gestures where you do things for him. Of course. Yeah, where he's like, Oh my god, thank you for doing that. My wife does that shit for me. Where I don't even think about what I need, and she's like, I already knew you needed this.
SPEAKER_06:Yes, men and women need each other. When we started dating, this man, and I'm not a pocket watcher, but I did notice. I'm like, wait a minute. We've been dating for like nine months. He picks me up from because I didn't have a car. He used to pick me up. He used to live in St. Pete. I lived in South Tampa. He will come to pick me up, we would go on our date, he would drop me back. Yeah, he would drop me back off at home and then go back to St. Pete. You know, and you didn't have a car? I did not have a car because of my car accident and because I didn't have a license for some time. But I did not have a car, and he would do all of that, and then he we did this twice a week, every week. So for nine months, you're taking me out to eat twice a week, every week. Four ways. Yes, and you're not blinking about oh, I'm spending this much money on you. It got to the point where I was like, hey, like, you know, um, you know, no, I was no, it was like, hey, I can cook, you know, I'll I'll cook in my apartment and I and I would come with Tupperware. So then it's like, hey, we can eat at your house. Like we can just sit down and eat, and you don't have to spend money. I went and got groceries. I went and you know, make food. Why? And my brother said, Wow, you must really love him because you don't like to cook. Because you don't think twice about taking me out to treat me to a nice time. You know, it is not about like flashing, it's not where we're going like.
SPEAKER_02:So it really does boil down to women want a protector and provider, and then you want to take care of them for them protecting and providing.
SPEAKER_06:It makes it like, hey, I can relax.
SPEAKER_01:It's a protector provider and a full-blown leader who creates a safe space for her. Yes, yes, that's the big that's the big thing that a lot of people don't understand. Creating that safe space. What do you mean by that? Like, make like so a lot of people just do things. Like, you know, you take a girl on a date, you know the traditional things to do, but creating a safe space for her to feel safe in her feminine aura. Yes, you know what I mean. That is exactly yes. To feel that, okay, I can sit back and not worry about money. No, not just mess. Let me give you an example. Not just money, like I don't have to. This is how this is supposed to go. This is how a man who is unbothered by doing the things he's supposed to do. A man who is standing strong in his leadership and his masculinity allows her to pull back and be feminine. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_06:Like I've always been more in my masculine energy, right? I've always been, and when I say masculine energy-where you served in the army. It's not even like that. Take that away from me. Yeah, yeah. It's not even so that I'm I'm unsure what we're trying to do. I I got you. I got you. So obviously I'm a woman, so that makes me feminine because I'm a woman. I have never been protected by anyone. So I have to have a certain thick skin about myself, right? There's a reason why I'm like, yeah, I could, I could drink a man under the table. Yeah, I could do this. Yeah. It's not that I'm like, oh, I'm it's it's subconscious feeling of like, I'm, I have to be tough for me. I'm already a small, pretty girl. I have to be tough for me because there's nobody that is going to protect me, right? My husband and I, at the start of our relationship, we took a salsa dance class, right? I know how to dance salsa already. I'm Hispanic. Sí, bueno. My husband is. He doesn't know how to dance salsa at this point, right? So we were going to the lessons, and our dance teacher, she was like, You're leading him, and you're not supposed to. Because I can't relax, because I'm not used to someone leading me. You know, we go for the turn, and I would do my turn and do my thing, and you know, I'm I look great, yeah. But you're not allowing him the space and opportunity to lead you, and that is his position. Why? And this is an analogy for real life. Why? Because I've never had someone to like, no, I'm gonna lead you, and you can trust in where I'm leading you. It's like, no, I got this and I got me, and I'm gonna make sure that we look good. So I had to unlearn that, and that is the analogy to our life as well. I had to come in and say, okay, I'm gonna, I'm gonna allow him the space to like do the turn. And it might not be perfectly a man. Yeah, it might not be perfect the first, the second, and the third time. But the more I allow you that, the easier my life will then become because I'm allowing you the time to get it figured out and then to make it right for me.
SPEAKER_01:And to learn how to lead you.
SPEAKER_06:Correct. And so that is why it works. Like, and there are times where I'm very rah-rah about certain stuff, like, nah, I'm gonna do this this way because this is and he'll go, no, babe, like slow down. Like, hey, I I get it, I get it. You wanna get it done. We're gonna get it done. Let's just let's talk about this. I never had that before. I never had that. Like, I've been the leader in my family. Like, I have a younger brother, I was the oldest, like, and it was like, nah, this is what I'm gonna do, and that's it. There was no, my dad was an absentee parent. We have a great relationship now, but my father was an absentee parent, and I just didn't have that.
SPEAKER_01:So you had to play early.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah, so my husband is a very patient man, but it took us the first few years. And even when we started living together, it was like, I thought we were gonna be done after the first six months because I'm like, oh, you're getting on my fucking nerves. I got a way to live my life. Like, you know, because it's different when you're dating. We don't live together. Then you live together.
SPEAKER_01:Like, like I can see you ha ha ha and go home.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah, exactly. Exactly. We will get on each other's nerves and I'll be home.
SPEAKER_02:What was the biggest issue then?
SPEAKER_06:Oh, child. Like, it would be literally. So you just call me child? You know, it's a phrase. I know. It's um, it would be anything. It would be like from the way that we do grocery shopping to the way that you know I want to handle certain tasks to certain systems.
SPEAKER_02:Who ended up being uh the most correct?
SPEAKER_06:There is no most correct. You find you find a way that works for you. So, okay, you want to use the dishwasher, bet you don't like to empty it. I'll empty it, you fill it. Um, you can't just do things off the cuff. I had to learn how to slow down and say, okay, we're gonna we're gonna write it on a list. I mean together.
SPEAKER_02:I got a dishwasher also. Her name's Jen. I knew that. You better take that shit out. Poor Jen.
SPEAKER_06:Leave it in there. Leave it in there.
SPEAKER_01:No, no, Miss Melissa. This is the last one. Look, I I need you to give parting words right here on women allowing men to lead them. Go ahead, I'm ready.
SPEAKER_06:Oh, so we're not gonna do that. Um, Max is not gonna lead me into that one. Uh, what I will say is um hardwave self-life, which is definitely my podcast trademark concept, by the way. Um where can they find you? You can find me at um on Instagram and on all social media platforms at Melissa Laboreel. Uh thank God I got married because that listening is crazy. Um L A B O R I E E L is how you spell it. And then you can find my podcast on Spotify, Amazon Prime, YouTube, and Apple Podcasts at HardwigSoft Life. Um, I will say that you don't have to have a hardwig. Deserve a soft life. Yeah, talk to me. So, yeah, that's it.
SPEAKER_01:That's all time we got today.
SPEAKER_02:I gotta ask one question. Do you got a hard wake on right now?
SPEAKER_06:No, hell no.
SPEAKER_02:Well, I gotta leave.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, look, we had an unbelievable time over the other today. That's all time we got for today. Like, comment, subscribe, tap the notification button, follow us on all your social media platforms YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts. Follow us, follow her. We'll see you next time.