How Women Actually Build Elite Physiques (ft. Amanda Neesan) | AJ Confidential

In this episode of AJ Confidential, AJ sits down with fitness and lifestyle coach Amanda Neesan (@amanda.fit.nees) to dive deep into the realities of female fitness, fat loss, and long-term discipline.

Amanda specializes in helping high-performing women break free from the binge-restrict cycle, build muscle, and create sustainable results — both physically and mentally.

This conversation goes beyond surface-level advice and explores the psychology, habits, and systems required to achieve a strong, balanced, and elite physique.

🧠 What You’ll Learn:

• Why most women struggle with fat loss and consistency
• The binge-restrict cycle and how to break it
• How to build muscle without burning out
• The mindset behind high-performing individuals
• Sustainable strategies for long-term transformation

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This is Stallion Confidential. Real talk. No filters. No noise. Just truth. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:01

Hi, Amanda. Well, welcome to the show. Thank you. How's the day been so far?

SPEAKER_06 0:05

It's been great, actually. A little bit of an emotional week. And I feel like today, finally, we just kind of kicked it into third gear. So it feels good in the weekend coming up.

SPEAKER_01 0:15

So awesome. Awesome. You look gorgeous. And let's talk about your gorgeous content out there. What's your intention with like what are you posting and like what what's what's the end goal? Like, what do you want to do with like inspiring people, inspiring young women for fitness, for stuff like stuff related to that?

SPEAKER_06 0:35

Yeah, I love that question. So my coach actually once said to me, Your goal is to not get views, but change views. And ever since he said that, I feel like it just clicked for so everyone in our community and how we post, but that's kind of like what I intend for when I am trying to put content together. It's like, how can I change someone's mindset around food, for example, or change someone's mindset around their workouts or just their their mindset, you know? And I feel like a lot of women, I get them coming into my DMs and like I felt like that piece of content was for me. And I'm like, good, so you're resonating. So my goal is to always change the viewpoint of how you look at food, how you look at your body, how you look at training, how you look at what you're feeding yourself, whether that's through social media or through through through food, right? So there's different types of environments you could also be around as well. And it's super important to like who are you surrounded by? So it's like what are you feeding yourself in all areas?

SPEAKER_01 1:37

You said change people or change them, right? Change their views, not get views. Okay. I've heard this quote that says, Well, imagine how hard is to change yourself. Now imagine how much of a fool you are to change someone else. That's what's what's what what would you like to say to that?

SPEAKER_06 1:58

That's really good. Man, I think always being one step ahead of someone is how you can still help someone else. So you're always gonna have a testimony, right? Everyone's life experience is so different. So I think just by sharing your experience, someone's out there is going to resonate. Whether they're currently going through it, they've been through it, or they're in the process of getting over it. So I think in general, I think you're right to that degree, like that quote. It's like it's very hard to change an individual because they have to be willing to go there and to want to change. But I think just being one step ahead, and I'm so I'm like actually the type of person when it comes to my clientele and my business to always tell them I don't have it all together. I'm not perfect. I slip up in these areas too. Like I have mastered fitness, I have mastered the nutritional aspect of things and how I like treat my body in a physical way. But when it comes to mentally and emotionally, like I have business coaches, I have mentors, I have therapists that I work with because there's areas of my life that I'm still working on, right? And so I can speak to that, be relatable, and also show them I'm just as human as you are.

SPEAKER_00 3:13

You said life coach. Who's who's your life coach?

SPEAKER_06 3:17

So he's like my life coach, business coach, I would say. Um, Nick Komadina. He's amazing. I've worked with him over two years now. He's the longest coach I've ever had. I've literally had a coach since 2019 almost every year. So I was trying to figure out who's the best fit for me. And nothing really stuck. Like I just, I don't know, something about each program. I'm very like an interactive learner. So I need to be like one-on-one with person. I need just more attention, I guess, um, more live calls. So most of these coaches are going to be virtual, which is difficult because they generally have teams, and then you're usually working with the teams and not working directly with the coach. So actually with him, he was on a live one day and I had been in and out of his form application multiple times. And I he said he was on the live and he basically said, if you're serious about these next steps, DM me your phone number. And I did that, and then he called me and within like 10 minutes. I'm an easy sale, I'm not gonna lie. But he did tell me what I needed because I was I needed something that was more interactive, which we do one-on-one calls, group calls, etc. And he challenges me from not just a business perspective, but just yesterday we had a conversation about you know, something I was going through in my business and with a client, and I had an emotional breakdown. And instead of him just giving me coaching, like business coaching advice, he gave me like conscious his whole goal is conscious leadership, developing more conscious leaders. And he said, Well, in this situation, you're you seem to be triggered. So what is being mirrored back to you? Not a lot of business coaches are gonna go to those links and actually help you work within. Because if you're not working within, then how are you able to give that to the world or to scale your business if you're stuck in your own limited beliefs?

SPEAKER_00 5:15

Well, that's that's a good way to put it. But what does your coach have? What does your life coach have that you aspire to have as well?

SPEAKER_06 5:25

Man, so many things. He's a he's a man I definitely can look up to. Um, as I've struggled with men in my life. Um I have an older brother, father figure, of course. I have my dad. Um I've had I've had stepfather in my life for 20 years, and I've always I didn't look up to them. I don't look up to them. And um Nick actually is a man that I genuinely look up to. Like the way that he walks, because he everything he's like, his ward is his bond. Um, how he delivers in his business, how he executes. Like he just doesn't sleep until things are done. His team, every single person, every coach under his team is absolutely amazing. I have relationships with most of them, and he's just I've seen him scale and scale and scale every single year, right? And just find different ways to teach people how to become the best versions of themselves in order for their business to scale, and not in a place from you're gonna do ads. He's all organic. So everything he does is from an organic standpoint. It's not about how many followers you have, it's about what is like the quality of what you're putting out there, what do you want to be known for? And so he does that in such an amazing fashion. So he's just what he does for himself, like what he puts out there, is like everything I aspire to be.

SPEAKER_01 6:53

But okay. Does he also coach easy on relationships and how to be desirable in that sense? Because he's a life coach, so I'm sure relationship is part of life.

SPEAKER_06 7:04

So he, I mean, he's more business, I would say. Yeah. So not as much as like the relationship aspect. However, um, I ended a relationship recently, and that was something that him and I had talked about. So I can go to him for those things because he's also like he operates similarly, like he's either going through something similar or has been through something similar similar. So we can actually discuss that and he'll help me kind of identify what's happening. Um, generally, because he's either has experienced it or is experiencing it. So he guides me as to it, always goes back to me. That's really what he's trying to always do is going back to me. How does that feel with like with you? Is this your person if you're doubting it? Um, you know, how is your business? How is your energy? How is your environment? Because if your environment is like not in the right space, if you're not energetically showing up, then there's something clearly going wrong. And that usually it's the first, it's the person you spend the most time with. So he helps me identify those things.

SPEAKER_01 8:09

Interesting. And what criteria someone has to fall under to be your life coach? Because that's a big investment of time, money, energy, and a lot of courage, firstly, to require from your side to be open-minded and actually to face in the mirror and face yourself, face your problems, face your true self and your problems. Because in this world we both know people don't take accountability.

SPEAKER_03 8:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:37

And now you got paying someone to do that, now you invest in time, someone to do that, now you have to sit in someone, actually confront you. What what do they have to have for you to choose them?

SPEAKER_06 8:51

So when I looked at his Instagram, he was a storyteller. Or he is a storyteller, I should say. Um always talked about his upbringing, so always talked about his even his current way of life and what he's been through. He has been through a lot. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 9:08

Um and is he older, I presume?

SPEAKER_06 9:11

He's about he's actually my age. I think we're yeah, he's 32.

SPEAKER_02 9:15

Okay.

SPEAKER_06 9:15

Yeah. Um been been through a lot. And I would just see these little stories of him kind of come up, and it it made me more interested in him because of how open he was with his upbringing and how open he was with his life, and how open he was to share the vulnerable side of him and how to he was also showing like how I'm working through this currently and how I've worked through this. So that was like one. Two was when I got on the phone with him, it was, is this guy just trying to sell me right? Because I've been through that before. But we had such a similar path of our personal training business. Like now he doesn't do that as anymore. But our path from like success, we had a lot in common. And I was like, okay, I feel seen here, which is great, because he knows like what it takes to get to this level of training, and then to where do we go from here? So he's been through it. So that was like another like green flag for me. The other part is he is actually a man of God, so that was another big criteria. Is I don't want to be coached through like some woo-woo stuff. Um, I'm more I do, I'm very biblical and I am Christian. So I want someone who's going to, when they're going to talk to me, they're going to pray over me, like things like that. So it's like being directed towards the right path as well. Um, but also being open. Because I am pretty open with that as well. Um, there's those are like the I'd say the bigger things. And then um challenge me and call me out. So I love constructive criticism, I love constructive feedback, and I know usually people don't, but it helps me grow because I didn't have parents necessarily that were helping me grow to those levels because they were incapable of getting there themselves. So I've had a mentor since I was 18. So I've always had someone to help guide me. And so when it comes to mentorship or coaching, they have to challenge me and give me um and be willing to give me that type of feedback. And he does a very, very good job of that.

SPEAKER_01 11:20

Would you see yourself becoming a life coach eventually?

SPEAKER_06 11:23

I think this is the path. Yeah. I think as a trainer, when you get deeper, it's always like you start off as fitness coaching, okay, nutrition and da-da-da. And then you get into the mindset coaching because you figure out very quickly in this field that oh my goodness, people's patterns and habits are so messed up. And that's a programming issue. That's not a you're gonna change everything about your mindset from just like a PDF workout and following a certain amount of macros, right? Because you can do that for a certain amount of time, but it really comes down to what do you do after the coach? If they, if you just fall back into those same patterns and habits, and we didn't really actually accomplish anything. And that was how I was. I always chased an aesthetic goal. So I was always like, if I'm the fittest, if I'm the most this or that, right? Like I'll be more desirable, not only as a coach, but in a relationship, etc. And I realized very quickly, I was like, well, I have the body, but why am I not happy? And then I realized, oh, it's a mind and heart issue. It's not actually this. So I changed how I approached my business. Um, and I actually do this Trinity method when I coach, so it's fitness, nutrition, and mindset. So that way they're actually getting more than just the fitness and nutrition side because again, that piece is so important. So I think eventually you end up going more that direction because it's very important.

SPEAKER_03 12:52

Well said.

SPEAKER_01 12:55

That brings me to me asking you, you help so many women now, and now you're on your own fitness journey.

SPEAKER_03 13:05

What got you started?

SPEAKER_05 13:08

Great question. 18.

SPEAKER_06 13:12

Um, well, let's rewind here. I actually started heavily getting into drugs and alcohol at the age of 13. Buckle up. It's a story.

SPEAKER_01 13:24

Um 13 years old, I was like You just talked about it, like having hard childhood stuff, which makes you want to grow up somehow. And everyone's have everyone have their own challenges.

SPEAKER_06 13:34

Right. And you can go one way or you can go another way. And I've seen both directions as my brother has gone one way, I've gone another.

SPEAKER_01 13:42

So you you have you have family issues as well.

SPEAKER_06 13:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:44

Okay. Yeah. So pretty small with that one. Okay.

SPEAKER_06 13:47

Yeah. So 13. Um, I remember this day, like so specifically. Um, I stole a bottle of alcohol from CVS Pharmacy. Like, right when CVS Pharmacy became a thing. This is before anything had locks and all the security things. Like you could just walk in there and so, and we drank in my room because you and your friends.

SPEAKER_01 14:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 14:12

And it wasn't, let's say, frowned upon in my home. And so we would even um yeah. Yeah, it just it wasn't frowned upon. And so my brother was also involved in smoking weed and things like that. So I got involved in it. And then I would just try things out and dabble, and just because everybody was doing it. And I felt like if I was a part of that, then I felt more seen or more like I would I fit in somewhere. Cause I didn't really feel like I fit into my house. So I was always trying to find that. Like, how can I fit into this group and this group? Um, so that kind of carried on through middle school, high school, and um, I didn't really find or get into fitness until I was about 18. Um, I mean, of course, you have your PE, right? Yeah. I was I never ran the mile. I always just kind of like didn't want to do that. But 18 started running. I thought cardio was the end all be all. I was trying all the detoxes and fat loss supplements and all the ways to get the skinniest possible because every girl at that time was super skinny. And that was just the thing. It was the trend. So that's what I was chasing for a while. And then after that, I had a friend who was getting involved in personal training, and he said, Do you want to be a dummy? Like, kind of work with me and I can, I can get experience and you can get experience. So then we did that for a little bit.

SPEAKER_00 15:36

Dummy.

SPEAKER_06 15:37

Like, in other words, I was gonna be his like test run as a client for for personal training. Okay. He wanted to become a personal trainer, and so he said, Can I kind of use you as um, like, can you help me so I can learn how to be more experienced on coaching a client and then vice versa. So we did that for a little while, and then I loved group classes, so I was doing group classes all the time. Again, it was more of this like community feel, and I didn't really feel that comfortable doing stuff on my own yet. And then I'd say after some time, a few years had gone by, I had my first boyfriend who was in, he's a physical therapist, and he would show me more in the weight room, and then I started getting more confident. Um, and then I started filming myself and my I I think I made, I can't remember when, but I made my first fitness Instagram, which it is today, Amanda Fitness. And I just started posting videos to hold myself accountable, and that's all that it really was in the beginning. It was just posting about my life, posting about just videos of just trying to motivate and inspire, but I had no idea I was on a personal trainer route. I was in retail as a personal stylist for almost a decade. And that was my original goal was to become um a personal stylist, have my own boutique one day, become a buyer. And that was my goal until I got really into fitness and I saw what it did for my life, and I had people asking me questions like how are you so disciplined? How are you doing all of these things? I got into nutrition and I was like, okay, well, maybe I can actually get paid for this, you know, because I do love it and I'm very passionate about it when I talk about it. Not to mention just my how I looked at it, I felt like was very different and I was gifted in how I was approaching it. It wasn't from a restriction mindset, it was very just structured and I did have a lot of value to give between just based on my own experience. And my all my goals have always been to help women feel more confident, whether that was through clothes. I loved addressing women or men, and it was this level of confidence that would click for people because that that's how I was. I grew up with a little fashionista, and I always loved clothes and dressing myself up, and that always made me feel good. And so I think I wanted to take it a step further. I wanted women to feel good naked, I wanted women to feel good in a bikini and not you know look at themselves in the mirror and talk down on themselves, but just feel confident and feel strong and feel just happy with how they looked. And I think that's so important as a woman to have that. When you don't have that, you just kind of have this chip on your shoulder as you walk in this world. Um, people may not even um look to you as someone to look up to, and I think as a woman it's important because we you know, we're here to be mothers, and we here we are here for younger generations to also look up to us, you know.

SPEAKER_01 18:34

So what you just said, right? You're like, okay, you're very biblical. Let's hear that that to what extent? Because I'm gonna come back to the way you just uh said like dresses, etc. Like how biblical are you? Like, are you biblical enough to where you have a sense of God in your life where you're like, oh, there's a super supreme power. I'm a Christian, because I was uh that's all I know. That's what's convenient to me. That's more of related to my culture, or are you Christian as in oh, I believe in all the phonetics, the stories, the the meanings behind what it actually means to be Christian?

SPEAKER_06 19:17

Oh, answered that? Yeah, okay. Um so I grew up Catholic. I was born and raised Catholic. Um so I've always had religion in my life. It's always just kind of been a part of our how our upbringing. So I did the whole catechism thing, if you're familiar with that. Um, and so that was just ingrained in me, but it was also very boring to me when I was young. I will never forget being in mass and falling asleep. Um, they're very old school, very traditional. And um, it was just a very specific way of how you were taught. So if you had a sin that you made, you go to your pastor and you or your priest in that situation, and they basically say, you know, 10 Hail Marys, 10 our fathers, and you're forgiven. Right. And then you kind of move on with your day. So it was kind of like this pass, like, okay, that's all I gotta do. Okay, cool, right? But then I fell out of it middle school time when I got into like drugs and alcohol.

SPEAKER_03 20:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 20:16

Um, and I've always believed in God, but I definitely kind of I think with all the things that happened in my life, there was times where I was angry with God and not sure why things were happening to me. I definitely lived in a very victim mentality mindset of why is this happening to me versus why is this happening for me. I never really realized that things are happening for a reason and there's a purpose behind it, but I always looked at it like, why am I going through this again? Like, why do I have these types of parents or this family or this upbringing? And you know, so I always just felt bad for myself. And that made me drift far away from God. There was even like youth groups I was a part of, but just kind of became a social outlet, and I knew that's not what I wanted to be a part of because it's not teaching me anything. I love being a student as well. So fast forward to about 2018, I kind of got back into churches. I was dabbling here and there, both on my mom's side and dad's side um do go to church. And so I would go sometimes with them, but it was just never consistent. I didn't have my own walk. Um, in other words. So 2019, um, I ended up after doing a few um support groups in this certain church that I was at in Orange County when I lived there. I realized that I wanted to get rebaptized and I I preferred Christianity. I preferred Christian churches, I preferred the word, it resonated deeper with me.

SPEAKER_01 21:45

So coming it only resonated deeper with you if you have gone through maybe perhaps like most of the scriptures. Was that the case with you?

SPEAKER_06 21:53

Yeah. Yes. You did.

SPEAKER_01 21:55

Yeah, I you went to the root of uh like other Abrahamic li religions, perhaps. And then you're like, no, Christian Christianity is a root for me. Is it was that the case?

SPEAKER_06 22:03

Not necessarily. I think more or less ha the teaching of how it was, like the pastors, I just felt like I could relate it back to my own life where I felt very lost in Catholicism.

SPEAKER_00 22:15

Okay.

unknown 22:16

Okay.

SPEAKER_06 22:17

Does that make sense? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:19

Um It brings me back to something you just said that okay, I was lost at a point. I didn't knew any better back at 13 years of age, 14 years of age, drinking alcohol, doing drugs, etc. Um, but this is the question I usually ask guests on the show that you have a certain belief, you have a certain religion. Awesome, that's great. And how do you know well what you believe in is right without knowing what else is out there or what other scriptures perhaps say they might resonate with you more than what resonates with you where you are at, regardless of your religion. So how do you know you know it all or you know the best? Perhaps have you question yourself that perhaps if I was that at that point in my life I didn't knew any better. How do I know I know any better now?

SPEAKER_06 23:10

That's a great question. I don't. You know, I I think I think you have to be humiliated enough to say that that you don't have all the answers. And at this current state of my life, I feel like I'm the most connected that I have been to God and being in the Bible and actually learning it as a student and taking it for what it means to me and what my walk actually looks like. So I can't tell you, you know, 10 years, 20 years from now, like if that could potentially change. I don't see that to change based off of the commitment that I want to have with my faith. But um, yeah, I don't, there's no, there's no certainty usually around because you're right, to your point, it's where I was back then to now. This is something that I want to take forward with me. So you have to actually take action if that's what you want moving forward. Um does that answer your question? Sort of.

SPEAKER_01 24:07

Uh but also depends on how much time you can devote to actually figuring out your faith part of your life.

SPEAKER_06 24:14

Of course, being around the right people, I think. So I'm involved in like women's support group and an equip group, which is teaching me more about the Bible. So I'm actually learning more to be understanding of it more because I I had no idea pastors would speak to scripture and I would be like, I have no idea what that story is. So I didn't really understand it. And so it got me curious to want to know more because I've always had a firm foundation of who I believe in and that is God. And I wanted to actually take it into my own hands and and understand the actual Bible, like through and through, understand the stories and like understand it to a deeper level because I never have given it that chance or that opportunity. And I'd say so far with my walk and the people that I am around, um, it definitely does like resonate, hit home, and has been something like a valuable resource that's been super powerful for me to be able to take a breath and even go back to scripture or just pray. And I feel as if where I want to go forward, because I do want my family to practice and to have that foundation as well. And I want that to be a generational thing that we pass on. Um so I think in general, just trying to learn it right now and be around like-minded individuals where I can ask questions, whether they are just um what's the word I'm looking for? Like not questioning things, but kind of being, you know, questionable. Like, how do we know if this is like really real? Or, you know, um, sometimes I really struggle with this. How do I kind of get through that? And I think when you're around that type of community, they're going to give you relatable experience answers and also can say, I'm still learning that from myself too. And it just seems very humbling and not forced.

SPEAKER_01 26:04

Have you ever questioned? Presumingly, you know more about Christianity than I do. Presumingly, do you believe in the story of the Virgin Mary?

SPEAKER_06 26:14

Like bringing Jesus into the world?

SPEAKER_01 26:17

Without Virgin Mary, yeah. Yeah. So, like, if yes, then what has your little biblical group has come to a conclusion besides saying it's a miracle? Like, can you put it into words?

SPEAKER_06 26:30

See, this is where I'm still a student. Okay. So, like, I haven't fully gone through the book of Genesis, which is like the beginnings of the Bible. Um, right now I'm currently reading the book of Psalms. I believe in it, but I don't have this like definite like answer to give you based on what I've learned so far. So the group I'm actually in is called Gospel Centered Life, and it really dives deep into the stories in the detail. So I'm still I'm still learning. I do, I mean, it is a miracle, and I do believe God is a God of miracles for sure, without a doubt, because it's happened in my life through and through.

SPEAKER_01 27:08

Would you like to talk about that? What's what's that one miracle that has happened in your life then that made you believe that God is real?

SPEAKER_06 27:18

I think he always gives me miracles by sending me people. So he's always sent me people, I feel like, that have taught me so much value out of this life and has mirrored back to me so many different things that I've had to see for myself in order to grow. Um, since I was really young, I was I was actually in a really actually crazy bad accident, um, car accident, where I went down a cliff and I was a really little girl, and I was in the back seat, and I was supposed to be in the front seat, and we just decided to not drop off the person in the front seat first, or my babysitter at the time did. And we were in a little Jetta. Like Jettas are small. Yeah, yeah. And we went down a cliff and we were stopped by a bush and the whole car lit on fire, and there was a newborn baby next to me as well. And all four of us, like the girls in the front, were a little bit burnt from the airbags, but none of us had a scratch.

SPEAKER_01 28:12

Who was driving if you mind me also?

SPEAKER_06 28:14

My babysitter at the time.

SPEAKER_01 28:16

Okay.

SPEAKER_06 28:16

Yeah, I don't even remember her name. But we were on our way to um what was I think we were she was dropping off at home because I was going to this event at school and I was like 11 or not, not 11, that would mean sixth grade. Nine, maybe, nine years old, like fourth grade. And I ended up being in the hospital that night, but yeah, I didn't have the scratch on me. So I do believe that was by the grace of God just saving us our living.

SPEAKER_01 28:43

Thank you. You know, thank you vibrant in front of us. Um probably I guess this would be my last question on religion to you. Is would you say people become a part of a religion, as in groupism, because they want a sense of identity and it feels comforting rather than knowing you are someone rather than realizing that you're nothing. Because you've seen the black sheep of the family always gets the hate. But even let's say you join a part of a religion, you you chose to identify as I am this, now you become the white sheep as all of the people in the group. Nothing bad with that. But do you think it's the fear of following your true own path, whatever that could be? Or is it okay, I feel like I need a sense of belonging. I need to be in a group where I can identify as XYZ, be accepted by people, and perhaps that's what you know the best in that moment. Would you say it comes from being from fear of being alone?

SPEAKER_06 29:56

I think that it can. Yeah, I think that's possible.

SPEAKER_01 29:58

It's a paradox. I know the question is like all over, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 30:01

Yeah, because I feel like there's both, you know, there is there's someone can know like who they are by doing the work and still want to be involved in community or whatever. But I think to a degree, as human beings, we are we we need connection, right? Like that is what we are here for is connection. And so I think that us craving that and wanting that isn't obscure. I think that it's something that we genuinely in our souls crave to have some sort of not fit-in type of mentality, but to know that I belong somewhere, not just for you like you, but belong with other people and in community of some sort. So I think, yeah, I think it could go both ways, but I would say that more or less people do join, whether that's Christ-like communities or gyms, for example, right? Because they want a sense of belonging and they want to feel seen and um they want to feel loved. So I think that it just comes from I I think it comes from our souls.

SPEAKER_01 31:06

Well, in well, if that's the case, do you think? Well, when you start to identify yourself, you start to also identify yourself with ego. As in you've seen people debate on the internet. I'm sure you're not one of one one of them, but I am this, you are this, so we can never get along. We are oil and water, and a sense of ego and pride fills you up, which I'm sure the scripture says not to be egotistical. Correct. People fail at that. People make religion their ego.

SPEAKER_04 31:37

Yeah, oh a hundred percent.

SPEAKER_06 31:38

Oh, there's like cult communities out there, hundred percent. That's it's not to say that it's it's not black and white, it's very gray, in my opinion. Like there's I've been a part of groups that are cult-like, and it's very like witchcrafty and not at all, like they say that they believe in God, and but they're doing some things in these rooms that I've seen, and it's just not what I would. So I've just I feel like I've seen so many different spectrums of it, and I'm like, yeah, that's not so you have to kind of also be aware of what you're stepping into and and have that like knowledge and understanding. And sometimes you're also naive, like you could just be getting into these environments and you don't really know if this is what I'm supposed to be learning right now. Um, and you learn that over time generally, as long as you're you know asking questions and actually listening to, I feel like your gut should would be the best person to guide you.

SPEAKER_01 32:34

And what would you advise to women who are biblical or who are part of a religion? Every religion so far says to dress modestly. But I guess our culture has shifted towards a bit of liberalism. What would you say to those women? Because you like to dress yourself, we were just talked about behind the scenes like you're like, I like I like to look good in a bikini, but right don't you think your biblical perspectives conflict that yes, I mean to to a degree.

SPEAKER_06 33:04

So I think that it's important as a woman to dress modestly, and as far as like how you show up to the world is very important. Um this is a tough one because this is this is where I actually struggle. Um I struggle with this part biblically and my own personal life because I am 32 and I wear crop tops, right? I show my stomach, I show my figure. Um, and in some cases that could be frowned upon for showing your your figure in that in that stuff.

SPEAKER_01 33:38

Biblically, yes.

SPEAKER_06 33:39

Yes. So that is something that I definitely struggle with, um, especially like as you get older. You know, I think women now are being told, well, if you're in your 30s, start dressing like you're in your 30s. And I'm like, listen, I'm only gonna have this body once. Like I'm gonna wear what I want to wear that's gonna make me feel confident. But I'm also gonna dress the part for specific events. I'm not gonna show up to, you know, my godson's fifth birthday in a little mini skirt, you know, I'm gonna dress like nice for my family, and I'm always going to, you know, make sure that I'm dressed for the occasion. If I'm going to church, I'm not gonna be showing my stomach or my boobs. I'm going to make sure that I am dressed for the occasion. So I think that as long as your intent and your posture, I believe, is for the right reasons and you're dressing, you know, to a degree of like, you know, you're not just in other words, the day-to-day on how you show up, like you're understanding that each environment does matter. Right. So how you're gonna dress at home is probably not how you should be dressing when you're going out to dinner.

SPEAKER_00 34:46

Yes.

SPEAKER_06 34:47

Necessarily, right? Like you're not just gonna be in your sweats and whatnot. You can be, but I think that you should also present yourself well.

SPEAKER_01 34:55

Yeah, but yeah, but we're we're sticking to the to the part of modesty versus explicitness.

SPEAKER_06 35:01

So I struggle I struggle. I struggle in that area.

SPEAKER_01 35:03

But like would you say that that's something you want to improve on, or do you don't really think there's a room for improvement in that sense?

SPEAKER_06 35:10

I I don't really see a room for improvement in that area specifically right now, and that is something that I could potentially be wrestling with and might work through, but I don't look at that as like a problem in my life.

SPEAKER_01 35:22

What if a man comes around and he's like, I love you for who you are, I love what you do, and I know your profession is making people's body look good and aesthetic. But he's not comfortable with the way you dress or the way anyone's dressed, not just any other fitness trainer. We're taking we're talking like generals. Would you change for that man? Sees a family in you, he wants to have kids in uh he wants to have kids with you, and he's like, This is something I'm comfortable with because I don't want my kids to look up to their mothers well if he's really modest and traditional and biblical to that sense. Have you one?

SPEAKER_06 36:07

Yeah, um because instinctually I say no. But on the flip side, if if I do believe that he is my husband and going to be the father of my kid, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Then I think a discussion can happen as far as like setting some sort of boundaries with that. Um, and I think that it could be okay, well, maybe when we're going to these things, or if you and I are going out, or so on and so forth, and we can have conversation around that because there's a fine line of control in that. And I don't as a woman want to feel controlled. I want to be led in a relationship by a man, and I want to be able to submit to my man in the ways that he is deserving of. Because if you are the leader of the household as a man in my eyes, I do believe that women can submit when they know they're being led in the right direction. So if it's for all the right reasons and we can sit down and have an honest conversation about it and find something that works for both of us, I would be willing to do that.

SPEAKER_01 37:04

So basically, in short, depends on the caliber of a man he is. Correct. Basically. But why would you go for something less too?

SPEAKER_06 37:11

Just Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 37:12

Um Why would you be like, yeah, but like if you have to have someone that might have best of the best for you, right? Mm-hmm. Or but yeah, talking about relationships, what's what's your what's what should a woman at your age with your profession should look for in a man?

SPEAKER_06 37:30

I'm still trying to figure that one out too. Um well, I recently got out of a relationship, and I think by each relationship you learn something more and more about yourself, about what you want, um and what you don't want, right? You make that list. I think um I cannot remember his name right now, but if I think of him, I'll I'll say his name. Wait, your ex? No. Oh no, no, no, no. No, this podcast. Um something? No, call her daddy. Yeah. I actually don't listen to her.

SPEAKER_01 37:59

Okay.

SPEAKER_06 38:00

Uh she's great though. I like where she's at now.

SPEAKER_01 38:02

Never heard of it. I mean, never heard her podcast, but it's I know it's top 10 charts.

SPEAKER_06 38:07

So he's he's kind of like a Jay Shetty vibe. He's like about love. And he actually talked about writing a list of your standards and what you want in a relationship. And I think that it's important as a woman to know those things and to ensure that you are not letting those things slip when you find your person.

SPEAKER_01 38:28

I actually like to rebel against that point of view, why? Because everyone thinks they're entitled to wants and needs and desires, but never do they recognize who they are themselves. So I want if you if if you guys are listening to this, I want you guys to actually go and write down what kind of person you are. And then only you'd be able to see for yourself your weaknesses, your strong points, and then you can see what supplements that.

SPEAKER_04 38:55

Yeah. Yeah, I I actually agree with that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 38:58

I think it all begins within. It's not it never is outside, it's never is there, it's always here. Right. Right now.

SPEAKER_06 39:06

I think the list should should match you. Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_01 39:10

So like how can it match if the person doesn't know themselves? Like if you don't know you, oh yes.

SPEAKER_06 39:16

I mean, if you know yourself, you know, then you know yourself.

SPEAKER_01 39:21

Are you still figuring it out?

SPEAKER_06 39:23

I feel like I know a lot about myself.

SPEAKER_01 39:25

Getting to know more about yourself more and more is important.

SPEAKER_06 39:27

Especially right now, because I this is the first time I've lived alone in a long time. Wow. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:34

Does it suck?

SPEAKER_06 39:35

No, I'm at so much peace. It's like I've never been out of a relationship and alone and in so much peace and not on a search for something next. I've always been in that state, just like going from something and wanting something next.

SPEAKER_03 39:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 39:52

Because I did have a fear of being alone. I did have this, oh, I'm my biological clock, you know, I'm 32. So they say after 35 that it's, you know, it doesn't get any easier. And there's all these also like societal pressures, right? You gotta have a house by this age and marriage by this age. And so that used to eat me up. And now I'm kind of like, well, when it happens, it's gonna happen. And I don't want to force it anymore. I can't be on dating apps. I don't want to. That's in my opinion. I feel like I'm looking and I'm forcing something, and I just want to eliminate all of that because I do believe you can still organically meet someone.

SPEAKER_01 40:31

Glad someone's on the same page as me on that that part. Yeah, dating apps. Okay. Well, good luck to everyone who's on it. I won't say much on that. Because if I say my opinion on that, people will get offended. Yeah. Was there a specific moment where you looked in the mirror and you realized something had to change?

SPEAKER_05 40:50

Yeah. Yes. Um, physically and mentally, emotionally, all of the above.

SPEAKER_06 40:57

I would say physically, um I did go through like a lot of um undereating and binging. I if you will, like I had like a binging type of mentality where I would binge a lot of food at night and hide food. So physically, I had to look at myself in the mirror and say, You have a binge eating problem, and you need to do something about this. Otherwise, you're going to continue to remain the same. And it was because I had a coach who said, at the end of the day, nutrition is nine almost 90% of your overall like progress. So isn't it a shame that you're working so hard, but you can't see your own results? And I go, Oh, yeah, okay, there's something that hadn't changed. So I actually studied on YouTube binge eating, how to overcome it. And I went, I took myself through this whole course and I just had this like, okay, awareness moment. And from there I stopped completely. And it's usually not that easy. But that was the physical side. I'd say mentally and emotionally. Um actually most recently, this last relationship was probably the most mirroring relationship I've ever been in. Um, and it was only a little over a year, and it just was the most eye-opening experience. And there was a point in this relationship that I got to a level of where I was, I kept saying a boundary and I wasn't upholding it. And I was noticing that I had that same issue in my family. So I was saying a boundary, not upholding it, and then getting really upset at the other person. And then I finally had a moment where I go, Well, you're not, you're not even upholding your own boundary. So how are they gonna respect you? And so it was my like that moment that I had with myself, oh my gosh, man, you're here to actually break the cycle and not continue this. And look what you're doing, you're continuing the cycle, and this is why you continue to attract this, and this is why you're stuck and why you're so upset and living in a space of anxiety, etc. So I would say within this last year, I had that moment of you have to uphold this boundary. You said you were going to move out if this continued, it's been seven times. So do something about it. And so I moved out. And when I moved out, it was like this weight was lifted, and I got rejected twice from two places I really liked, which I am not great at work rejection. I'm working on that. Um just with like it's it's not been easy for me because it hasn't.

SPEAKER_01 43:17

Places rejected little homes.

SPEAKER_06 43:19

I was looking at homes to move into, and the first place they said like we want with someone else. And that like hardly happens to me. I've been pretty like good about getting something I like would want. And then the second home, I also got a call back saying we're gonna go with someone else. And it was really difficult because these were the two places I really liked the most. And I had um a moment where I was actually on my way to church, and I said, Okay, there has to be a greater plan because there's always a greater plan. I've always leveled up in my life, and it's always happened for a reason. And then that same afternoon, I got a call back from the second home, and they said, This person backed out. We'd love to continue with you. And I was like, absolutely. Absolutely, and I love my home. Love, love it. And every morning I wake up and I'm just like, Thank God, thank you, thank you. I'm here. But it all of this happened because I stayed true to myself and because I upheld a boundary. And so I would say having that moment to myself and actually saying out loud, you're the only one that's gonna be the one to change this. So you could sulk and you could say, Why do I have to be the one to change this? This is so difficult. Or you can go through that emotion, but not stay stuck in it and then just move through it and actually and so and then you'll experience much a lot of joy and peace.

SPEAKER_01 44:39

Very well said. I mean, what's what's one sentence you'd say to a woman who's listening to this? We're in a bad spot.

SPEAKER_00 44:47

Because you were in a bad spot. What got you through that?

SPEAKER_05 44:52

Oh man, uh friends, community.

SPEAKER_06 44:56

I feel like I think also relying on yourself, but we'll kind of deal with that because that's harder. But I think having the right support system around you, the people that are actually going to tell you how it is, not the ones who are gonna validate you.

SPEAKER_01 45:13

You need the Isn't that isn't that most female friendships?

SPEAKER_06 45:16

100%. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 45:18

I've never seen a genuine female friendship where a woman is holding the other woman accountable for her actions, is always like, yeah, you know, and they like slip their opinion. Right. It sounds like they want to change them, but they're not really trying.

SPEAKER_06 45:30

Right. But to a degree, as as your own person, you need to be able to identify that. You need to you need you should know in your own mind that this person is or this situation is not the best for me. Why are you going to that friend in the first place? Because you know you're getting a second opinion because you know something's wrong. And then when they validate you, you're like validating that part of you that like secretly wants to stay stuck in that. So you should also be able to identify. I've called out friends, don't tell me this. Tell me what's on your mind, and then they've said it. And I'm like, okay, thank you. This is how I want it to be moving forward, and we both have that conversation. And I think that you have to have that own, like just that self-talk because you know what you're looking for.

SPEAKER_01 46:15

Remember what I told you when we started the pod?

SPEAKER_06 46:17

Hmm.

SPEAKER_01 46:18

About like how I think you're more intelligent than most women around. I don't I don't think women usually uh they they're stuck in a loop cycle of emotions. But only very few of them have an and like I'd say mental dis mental advantage of actually looking themselves in the mirror and identifying, oh, it's me.

SPEAKER_06 46:42

But it takes a l it took a long time to get there.

SPEAKER_01 46:45

That's the that but it's worth it though.

SPEAKER_06 46:47

It is worth it.

SPEAKER_01 46:47

So now you're not you're not relied upon your friendships, or you're not late to someone's opinion, you don't want anyone to validate you, and also you've conquered for now fear of being alone. Right, right. So that's why it's it's tough, but that's life.

SPEAKER_06 47:05

Absolutely. So I think for women, you know, back to that, like what I could give the advice for. I think that was your question.

SPEAKER_01 47:13

Yeah. Someone who's going through a rough patch.

SPEAKER_06 47:18

Don't ignore your gut. Like your gut is always right, always right. If you feel anxiety in your gut, because you do. And you feel those, you feel I've I've sat in that and I have allowed things to just continue. And I said, it will pass, it will pass. And it never genuinely does until you actually disrupt that pattern and you get away from it. So don't ignore your gut. I mean, this relationship on my second date, I said, you're not for me. And that was my gut telling me this is not your person.

SPEAKER_03 47:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 47:50

And then a year later, we don't end up together, but more or less just trust trust your trust your gut. Try to trust yourself.

SPEAKER_01 47:59

Yeah. There's there's so much b uh bad advice online. What would you say that's the biggest lie about women that's being sold online today?

SPEAKER_05 48:13

Well, there's a lot on skinny talk right now.

SPEAKER_06 48:16

Yeah. So this whole skinny movement, if you will, I think it's like a TikTok trend. Um they literally call it skinny talk T-OK.

SPEAKER_03 48:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 48:25

Um telling women that you have to be the smallest version of you possible in order for you to be good enough, I think is a complete and total lie. Um I think that's that speaks to so many different things. And I've been caught up in that, and so many women of even my own generation have been caught up in that. And I think that it's coming back around because you have a lot of these celebrities now on things like Ozempic and GLP1, and they're taking all of these now drugs, right, to become the smallest versions of themselves. And so that's being sold to the public, right? Just like the Kylie Jenners of the world. So I'm not a fan of the Kardashians at all, personally.

SPEAKER_00 49:06

Respect.

SPEAKER_06 49:07

Um, I don't follow them, and you know, they have great clothing and they have great makeup, but that's all I see from that perspective. Because what they've sold is a lie, in my opinion.

SPEAKER_01 49:18

How would you just how would you describe Kylie Jenner in one word?

SPEAKER_06 49:22

Fake.

SPEAKER_01 49:24

Respect. Fake.

SPEAKER_06 49:26

Um, and I think that it's put this like illusion on women to, oh my god, like I can look, okay, yeah, you can look like that if you get this done and this done and this and this done. And I'm not against classic surgery. I can still start, I can talk to the things I've had done, but I think that there's levels to it. Like when you actually completely disorientate everything about you, like you're no longer made, in my opinion, in God's image and how you were created. And you're now basically telling yourself that you are not worthy until you look like X. And there's there's a lot of gray in that, because I can speak to a lot of that.

SPEAKER_01 50:04

But we'll we'll get into that. Yeah. A lot of women today are afraid of getting bulky if they lift heavy weights. Yeah. What's your honest take on that?

SPEAKER_06 50:12

Um, it's bullshit. Um, so the only way that you can be bulky is if you have basically excess fat. So if you have fat on top of the muscle, you're going to look bulkier naturally. It's when you can actually shave down the fat, is when you see the actual muscle. But when that's put together, and generally that comes from lack of movement and a really shitty diet. So you can't get bulky. First of all, it takes so long to put muscle on. Like, why do you think bodybuilders take steroids? Because they can't even get their own bodies to go to the places that they need to get to in order to actually place on stage for things. So they take it to the next level because it's that hard to actually put muscle on. So it's it's just a myth.

SPEAKER_01 51:01

It's a fitness myth that and number one thing, women don't have distortion like men do.

SPEAKER_06 51:05

So exactly. So it just takes time, it gets harder as you get older as well to even put more muscle on. But ultimately, the only way to look bulky is that's why they call it bulking season, because people are eating so much more food, so therefore they're actually gaining weight on top of all the muscle they've built in their cuts. And so that's why they look more filled out and more thick, you know. But again, that takes hardcore training, like heavy, heavy, heavy lifting that probably like 90% of women don't even do, especially with all the Pilates and yoga trends going on now.

SPEAKER_01 51:41

Yeah. You you mentioned something about like how women and how the culture is shifting towards being a skinny version of yourself from back in your days. Back in the days, people weren't. Back in your days. When you're when you were growing up. Uh but people weren't even as obese as they are right now. I mean, America is hitting number one in obesity and unhealthiness. So I believe it could be a positive change, after all. What's your take on that? Because in the 1990s, skinny was skinny. Skinny was skinny. And now skinny is bro, look healthy.

SPEAKER_06 52:20

Right, right. There's no, I feel like there's no happy medium. I feel like it's like zero to a hundred. It's either you're this way or you're this way, and there's no like, where's the balance? I think that a lot of people are missing the balance piece of it. So I think that there's no problem with losing weight and getting into a healthy place for your own self. That's self-love, that's self-respect.

SPEAKER_03 52:41

Right.

SPEAKER_06 52:42

So I think that's a bonus, but it's always a different people take it too far, in other words. True. They take it to the level of, I want to do this, but then as soon as they see, oh wow, that okay, what could we do if we just keep doing this, right? And then they get to a level that's most likely going to be unhealthy, or they're addicted now to a drug or a medication that's um that I believe that you can turn into a slave to.

SPEAKER_01 53:08

True. I I usually I give my family members and friends advice, just measure your body fat. Yeah. Just that that's it. I mean, if you don't want to lift weight, I know no not everyone can and is capable of lifting weights. Uh because it's a very unnatural thing from evolutionary standpoint of view is to go to the gym that you pay for, actually put your body through stress. Yes. I mean, we love it. That's one thing. But as from an evolutionary standpoint of view, it's very unnatural. Like to go and actually give your body like struggle and effort to actually be stronger. Yeah. So it's needed, that's a different argument, but just what measure your body fat. Yeah. Get on the what's the scan? In body scan, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 53:50

Yeah, all the scans that you could do. I mean, looking at body fat percentage, visceral fat, and your skeletal muscle mass and your lean mass, those are the four components that you should be measuring at all times. And also pay attention to your biological age. Is your biological age trending upward or is it going down? If it's going up, it's generally because your fat percentile is probably higher and you don't have enough muscle on your body. Muscle is going to help in you in the long run. So it is important to look at both. But I agree to that.

SPEAKER_01 54:20

Right. I also believe uh your biological age depends on body fat. That's that's a really good uh biomarker, but the other one is your habits.

SPEAKER_04 54:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 54:29

Alcohol, sleep.

SPEAKER_06 54:31

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 54:32

Um your diet.

SPEAKER_06 54:33

Love to dive into all that.

SPEAKER_01 54:35

Right? So yeah, we'll get into that. If you could ban one exercise from the gym, which one would it be and why?

SPEAKER_06 54:48

Could okay. Um, I literally go to hip thrusts, which is crazy because every woman loves hip thrusts. One exercise, that's crazy. But I think hip thrust. If there was a way to do to build your glutes without them, I just hate hip thrusting.

SPEAKER_01 55:02

Okay.

SPEAKER_06 55:03

I don't know why. I'll do Bulgarians all day long.

SPEAKER_01 55:06

Well would what do you think of men who do hip thrusts?

SPEAKER_06 55:09

I think it's good. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 55:11

You sure?

SPEAKER_06 55:11

Yeah. Okay. I do. So men should be training their glutes. It's one of the largest parts of your body. So you should be like having good glutes strength is super important for your body just because it is one of the largest largest muscles, so it's gonna help you in the long run.

SPEAKER_01 55:29

As a man?

SPEAKER_06 55:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 55:30

Oh yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_06 55:32

So hip I mean, you don't have to hip thrust as a man, as long as you're squatting and you're deadlifting, lunging, doing things to still work your glutes. Yeah. Have I ever hip thrusted with a man? No. But do I see it and do I judge? No.

SPEAKER_01 55:48

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_06 55:49

Maybe you hip thrust? Yeah. Well, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 55:53

Oh, I do every sort of exercise besides I'll think of any. Yeah, we'll we'll get into that if I think about it. What's one diet you'd ban forever?

SPEAKER_00 56:05

And if yes, then why?

SPEAKER_01 56:12

Let's say if I have to rephrase it, what's one diet trend you would ban forever? And why?

SPEAKER_05 56:21

I mean, somebody came to my mind.

SPEAKER_06 56:24

I feel like keto. Keto pisses me off.

SPEAKER_01 56:27

Why is that?

SPEAKER_06 56:28

Um, there's benefits, don't get me wrong. Like putting your body in a state of ketosis.

SPEAKER_01 56:33

Let's start with what what is keto?

SPEAKER_06 56:36

So keto basically is just a diet where you're doing high protein, high fat, and your carbs are sub-20 grams.

SPEAKER_00 56:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 56:42

So you're putting your body in a state of ketosis, which which is gonna help it burn fat, lower carbs generally are going to help you lose weight, but it's not sustainable. So most people that do keto, their bodies can't stay in ketosis forever. So they I mean, you can continue to do it, but you're gonna plateau naturally.

SPEAKER_01 57:31

That was the keto. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 57:33

Intermittent fasting is annoying to me as well. But it's important. It is important. Yeah. Well, fasting is good for your body. Yeah. You should be fasting here and there.

SPEAKER_02 57:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 57:43

But for women, there's actually a book called Fast Like a Girl by Dr. Mindy Pelves, which is fascinating because it talks about the studies of intermittent fasting actually being done on men. So it's beneficial for men more or less because you don't have the hormones that we do that we actually go through day to day. You guys have a 24-hour cycle, we have a 28 to 30 day cycle. So our hormones are changing daily, where yours are resetting every day. So the way that women should be fasting is actually not intermittent in the morning. And if you do do that, it's dependent on your cycle timing. So that's very technical and scientific because there's a lot of studies that have been done on women that have done the intermittent fasting and then they start to lose their period, have loss of hair, um, start to gain weight, they're plateauing. Um, you'll always hear this. Well, my husband did this and he lost 10 pounds, and I'm doing this, and I've only lost like one. Well, that's because we're very different, we're built different, and our hormones are very different. So women can't necessarily always do what men do when it comes to workouts or diet or all of these types of trends. You guys just men just respond differently and oftentimes better, depending on the situation. So I don't think it's a bad thing, but I just think that a lot of women do it. And I don't think that it's good for you in the long term.

SPEAKER_01 59:14

Right, as a woman, and uh you've you've experienced a lot of those. Um would you say that women with their hormones and with their nature's body? I don't mean to demean any of them, but I just want to know your opinion on that. Would you say a woman should be in a position of making a very high stress to be in a sorry, to be in a high stress position like a CEO or CFO of a company, and yet she's regulated by a hormone, she might make a decision based off of emotions and hormones, not logic.

SPEAKER_06 59:48

Rephrase the question, but I I think I know what you're saying.

SPEAKER_01 59:51

So what I mean to say is you said we have sorry, you said women have a 28-day cycle. Right. So women's I believe I saw a graph where her emotion spikes were like changing throughout the weeks, and sometimes it's high, sometimes it's low. Would you say a woman should be in positions of CEOs and CFOs of a company where they have to make a very high stake decision where others' lives and jobs depend on her? Would you think she'd be able to make a good calculated decision on that?

SPEAKER_06 1:00:28

So I think they can be in that position and they can make the decision, but I think that women need to be aware of where they're at on their cycle.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:38

How many women do you know are aware of themselves?

SPEAKER_06 1:00:40

Not a lot.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:41

That tells me something.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:42

Yeah. So I'll just give an example. Yeah. Um, I actually just started and I knew this week that everything I was doing, I go, oh, pause for a second, because you're in an emotional state right now. So you're getting triggered over this. You're getting it's just because your hormones are all all over the map, or you're really hungry for this and you're craving this, and it's because, but if you're in tune with that, then you can make better decisions, or you can even say, This is where I'm at right now. And, you know, like I walked in here the other day, and one of my friends was in her follicular phase. We can dive into that if you'd like to. It's a different phase of the cycle, and she's all and I walked in and I said, Not today, my girl. I love you, but I am not there. And it's and it's okay for you to say, like, I'm not there. Love that that that you're there for you, but again, you have to understand your cycle and you have to understand your body. And there's a lot of women that don't even get their periods, so they don't even know how and when things are happening, which is really bad. Women should be getting their periods.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:42

I personally think you are very well qualified to be life coach.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:46

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:47

So, well, for the listeners out there, that's that's your choice right there. What's your opinion on cardio versus lifting? Like, let's say if a busy mom has only 30 minutes a day, what should she actually be doing?

SPEAKER_06 1:02:03

Between the two?

SPEAKER_00 1:02:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:07

Lifting. I would say lifting. Um, mainly because your body burns more after lifting. So if you're working out for 30 minutes, your body's actually going through the cycle of burning through protein synthesis and glycogen. So what it's doing is it's putting your body in a fat burning state at that point. So afterwards, if you're a busy mom, you're gonna be running around after your kids. That's your cardio. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:31

Okay.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:31

And also for the next two days, it's about 48 hours.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:34

Or if you're making more kids, but anyways.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:36

Or you're making more kids, yeah. But your metabolism is sped up after lifting and you're burning extra calories for a longer duration, where cardio, you just burn those calories, and that's that.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:46

Gotcha. So lifting over cardio for busy moms. Yes, gotcha. Let's talk food. What are the healthy foods that are actually waste of money?

SPEAKER_06 1:02:58

Anything that slapped a label of protein on it. So marketing is so big right now, especially around protein. Actually, did a video on this because it genuinely pissed me off how much is out there. So labels are lies. So, how our food system works, I went to Fullerton, I took a whole nutrition course on all these different things and how people, how the they actually market and the sugar industry and the billions and billions of dollars, right? That are basically putting us in a state to be obese and addicted because it's getting our doctors paid and it's et cetera, et cetera. List goes on. So labels, if you're not familiar with what ingredients mean, because people don't know what certain terms of ingredients mean what. So they just think it says vegan, keto, high protein, low carb, right? Net carb is this, and it's like, oh, it's automatically healthy. So I think your question was healthy foods that's wasting our money. Yeah, I would say mainly, mainly those types of foods. So anything that's highly marketed and shoved in your face with all the colors and all the things to get you to buy, but it's really to get you to be addicted.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:14

Would you like to name some of them?

SPEAKER_06 1:04:16

Yeah, so Pop Tarts came out with one. Um, Doritos just launched today, Protein Doritos, which is wild to me because the ingredients aren't any better. They just added some protein isolate and they just slapped the label of protein, but they know it's gonna sell more because we are also headed in a direction where people are becoming more health conscious based off of whether it's AI or if it's just social media because it's more shoved in your face. And if you have any curiosity, of course, the algorithm is gonna feed you that, right? So because you're taking on all of that, you're becoming smarter. So people are making smarter decisions. So what they're trying to do now is make products that are going to scream health just for you to buy and for you to stay addicted. I actually read an article on Ozempic because Ozempic people or people taking any type of weight loss drug that's suppressing their appetite, the um indust, the food industry was losing money. And so I saw this and it was, I don't know if it was real, but it was something on the fact that they're trying to now manipulate the food even through Ozempic, because your taste buds do change. I've heard that from people. Like, I don't like what I used to like. Um, it was like a even like a yogurt. One of my clients was like eating a yogurt and she's like, I don't even like it anymore. So it's changing your own like taste buds and profiling. So they're trying to now make it so even through the GLPs and the Ozempics, you're still gonna find a way to eat it and stay overweight because that's what makes America go around.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:53

I actually sat down with one of the guys in Florida and we talked about like literally three big companies big pharma, big tech. Sitting on a table and basically coming up with the ideas of how we can fuck people over and how we can cash them out, probably give more insurances out to make more money up for them. That's America's healthcare system. Do you know do you do you do you know where America's healthcare system stands in the world wide spectrum? What number? Take a guess.

SPEAKER_06 1:06:23

I'm gonna totally like I don't I don't know. I have no idea. I've no Forty.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:27

Forty.

unknown 1:06:30

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:32

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:33

That's that's America's healthcare system. And I don't complain, the place I come from it's better.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:40

It is.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:40

But it could be a lot better. But again, if you have trillions of dollars pouring up, good luck. You can't fight that unless you have trillions of dollars yourself.

SPEAKER_06 1:06:49

100%. It's actually interesting you brought up the UK because I remember being in London and I walked past the American candy store and I walked in and it was like all of the cereals that we carry here and all the things out I even grew up eating um in the store. And I was like, this was I was already like training at this point, but and studied nutrition. So I walked by and I did a video. So I was like, this is what you guys need to understand is this is a candy store in places like the UK. Yeah. But this is easily accessible and cheap in our shelves in America.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:26

Yeah. True.

SPEAKER_06 1:07:27

So that is why a family who is poor, what are they gonna feed their kids?

unknown 1:07:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:07:33

And how are they growing up? And now they're addicted, and then the list in the generation continues, right?

SPEAKER_01 1:07:38

Well, you see you seem to be very knowledgeable on diets. Let's say if someone wants to lose fat but hates dieting, what are three things they can add into their grocery card today?

SPEAKER_06 1:07:50

Just hates dieting. Okay. Fruits and vegetables, just nature's candy is fruit, I believe. And vegetables is gonna have fiber, and so that's gonna help your digestion system and also help you stay fuller longer. So, fruits and vegetables, if you can at least get that into your grocery cart, that would be super ideal. Um adding into your grocery cart. I mean, if you can just at least shop on the outskirts of the aisles, that would be ideal. If you could avoid the center aisles, that's where all of the ice creams are and all of the labels that are gonna lie to you. Um, so focus on fruits and veggies, a good protein diet. So, and it doesn't have to be what chicken and rice. I think people have this idea of you have to eat chicken, broccoli, and rice in order for you to lose weight and build muscle. And that's not the case. I really hate chicken, broccoli and rice. Like I will eat it sometimes, but I'm gonna flavor that up, right? So I think in general, finding proteins that you enjoy. So if that's chicken, if that's salmon, if that's shrimp or whatever the case is, just stick to those and then incorporate your favorite carb, whether that is a bread or a rice or a potato. Um, but it doesn't need to be so overcomplicated. It's so overcomplicated and there's so much misinformation. So if you can just simplify it for yourself and don't look at it like this is bad, this is good.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:09:15

It's not that. It's just where do I find my balance? Because I can still have an ice cream bar at the end of the night if I really wanted to, as long as majority of my choices the the rest of the day was decently balanced.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:27

I think the key to those things are here and there, like ice creams, yeah, mod moderation.

SPEAKER_06 1:09:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:33

So walk us through your perfect day. What is breakfast, lunch, and dinner looks like for you?

SPEAKER_06 1:09:38

Okay. I have the same breakfast every day. Uh, turkey bacon, two slices of turkey bacon, two eggs, half a cup of liquid egg whites, spinach. Sometimes I'll add jalapenos if I want some flavor or like spice. Um, generally we'll do cottage cheese and avocado on a piece of toast, whether that's sourdough, sometimes an English muffin. That's pretty much it. And then I'll always have some fruit at the end, and I usually do like berries, blueberries, raspberries. Um unless there's like a random day I really want pancakes, then I'll have pancakes for breakfast and maybe summer things, but as balanced as possible, and I always start with high protein a hundred percent.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:14

Okay. Do you think you just have fruits and vegetables? But some people love them juiced up.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:20

What do you think is better? Blended or juiced?

SPEAKER_05 1:10:25

Juiced.

SPEAKER_06 1:10:26

Juiced.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:27

It's better.

SPEAKER_06 1:10:28

I think so. I I don't know like full stats on that, but I I would say juice.

unknown 1:10:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:37

From just to add on to what you said, juice, yes. Don't you think like the amount of orange, like let's say per se you're consuming a glass of orange juice. Yeah. You perhaps, to my best uh judgment, you have to add at least five to six oranges to make and fill up a whole glass.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:53

That is true. You know what? You're not wrong.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:55

So sugar level spike in your body is equivalent to you eating six oranges.

SPEAKER_06 1:10:59

Can you eat six or this is why I was like, I'm not a hundred percent I don't juice and I don't do smoothies really ever. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:05

Um, mainly because what by your clients you're like, yeah, I don't want to eat my calories, I want to drink them.

SPEAKER_06 1:11:11

I don't have clients like that. But if I do, um, I always have them make like a shake. So they I hardly I feel like I hardly hear people juicing these days. But um No, they're juiced up. They're juiced up.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:23

Um not juicing, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:11:25

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They are juiced up. But yeah, I would just take a protein shake. I'll always say like add water or if you do like a type of milk. I like fair life milk, usually lactose, non-fat, high protein. Um, and then add some greens, add some berries, but don't overdo it with the fruits. Right. Like there's ways to make it tasty without all that, and not like 200 tablespoons of peanut butter either. Like it'll still taste good. And just because there's spinach in it and it's green doesn't mean it tastes bad. Yeah, it's just we need more antioxidants. But lunch, we didn't talk about lunch or dinner.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:58

Oh perfect day.

SPEAKER_06 1:11:59

We just went through breakfast. Yeah, oh it was a big meal.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:01

Okay. Sorry, I didn't say that's okay.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:03

So lunch, I mean, I I always eat at home. So lunch, I'll generally make, I rotate between proteins, salmon, shrimp, beef, or chicken generally.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:13

Okay.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:14

So I'll usually like air fry salmon or chicken. Otherwise, I'll just make some ground beef or shrimp or something. And then a starchy carb. I'm always either doing sweet potatoes or rice or pretty much it for my carbs. I keep it very simple. And then vegetables too. Sometimes steamed, sometimes roasted. Um, I'm not super picky on vegetables I like most. So it's not like every day is like this crazy thought-out thing. It's just protein, veggie, carb, really.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:41

Easy, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:42

My breakfast is probably my favorite meal of the day. Um Dinner. Dinner. Same thing as lunch, usually.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:48

Do you usually go like more calories, breakfast, less, lesser in the lunch, and less the least at dinner. Dinner, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:57

It's pretty well balanced. I'd say my biggest meal is breakfast. I'd say my smallest meal is lunch, and then I'd say it's like a moderate amount at dinner. And I will generally have like something in between that too, from like a pre-workout or post-workout standpoint. Something like some fruit, maybe like a power bar if I have one, clean ingredients, of course, like a beef stick or something. Okay, and then I have to have chocolate every single night. Every day. I eat something sweet.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:23

Sweet tooth? Like do you go for sugar free or like actual sugar?

SPEAKER_06 1:13:27

No, no, sugar. Yeah. Whether it's an ice cream sandwich or dark chocolate bark or a cookie.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:34

Wow.

SPEAKER_06 1:13:35

Yeah. Picked up a Whole Foods brown butter chocolate chip cookie just the other night because I was craving it.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:40

But I okay, well, you can metabolize it and digest the the sugar amounts and carbs, whatever, but I'm I know some people who are one sandwich away from being fat.

SPEAKER_06 1:13:50

Right.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:51

What about those?

SPEAKER_06 1:13:52

So that's where you have to be a little bit more. See, like, my day-to-day isn't going to be someone else's day-to-day unless they are within the same space as I am. Gotcha. Right. So if you're on a pretty big weight loss journey, um, let's just say just food is like your Achilles heel. You just can't break away from that. You have emotional eating patterns, so on and so forth. You have a sweet tooth. The biggest thing is to get dialed in first. It's just like getting your whole balanced meal is in, but those cravings aren't just gonna go away overnight, right? Especially let's just say you're 40, right? You've had 40 years of teaching yourself how to eat. So we're having to unlearn 40 years. That's not gonna happen in one day, two days, three days, two weeks, right? It's gonna take time. So just like slowly peeling away at that, right? It starts by what are you bringing into your house? What are you allowing inside of your house? If you don't have control over it for me, I don't have control over certain things. Like bag of chips, never in my house because I cannot keep my hand out of the bag.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:14:48

Um, I know my binge eating patterns though, and you have to be aware of that. So I keep that stuff out. I keep certain things that I know I'm not gonna have self-control over out of my house. Oreos, don't ever buy them for me. They'll just go into the trash because I'll eat the whole thing.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:02

Okay.

SPEAKER_06 1:15:03

Um, but I think just like identifying those things and then knowing, okay, don't bring it into the house, yeah, and then I won't feel the need to binge on it.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:09

Gotcha. But you talk about we just talked about juice up. Would you you've been in fitness industry for about over a decade. Would you date anyone who's juiced up? No. Why is that?

SPEAKER_06 1:15:23

I don't know. I don't like the idea of you being addicted to some sort of drug like that. Um yeah, I just I don't think so. I don't think it's for me.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:36

Like you can you can dive deeper into that. Like uh, like why would you think like a woman like yourself wouldn't want to date someone who's juiced up, all about their muscles, bodybuilding, even though you're in the industry.

SPEAKER_06 1:15:48

I'm actually not attracted to like crazy muscles.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:51

No, most women aren't.

SPEAKER_06 1:15:52

Yeah, um, I think it's a turn off to me to personally. Um I think it's I think it's an incredible sport, and I, you know, love seeing what physiques can do and it's such a amazing thing, but I'm personally not like a big fan of the attraction of or the look of it. And then especially too, yeah, if you're like if you're just so I don't know, there I just feel like there's no balance to that. Like there's and that's how I am, like that doesn't match my personality, right? Like I wouldn't want to be in a household where it's chicken and broccoli and rice and steroids and this and that. I'm like, I don't, that's not how I roll, right? And I've been in a place where I've had to be super strict for reasons, and it was very unenjoyable for my partner and even for myself. And I was moody and I was, and they're moody, they're moody. Steroid people or moody.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:44

Have you dated someone who's juiced up? No, okay, ever.

SPEAKER_06 1:16:47

But I've I've I've been countered, you know.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:49

As a gym girl, would you date someone from your own gym? No. Why is that? Every girl has that rule nowadays. Why is that?

SPEAKER_06 1:16:57

Um, this is my safe space, yeah. So this is a place where I come to mentally decompress, and it's also community and a place that I find joy in again, my escape from a lot of different things, right? So I don't want to mix that now. Again, I think that it have to be a very like sure thing, like, okay, this is my person, and I'm sure about that because there are I know a lot of people in here that date that are together um or in a lot of different gyms.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:30

But you also know those people who date sometimes when they well, not sometimes, but in some cases when they break up, it's really awkward.

SPEAKER_06 1:17:37

Exactly. Right. And I don't want to go through that. And I also don't want to say, like, oh, I have to change gyms, or you have to change gyms, and then that's a whole mess, right? It's like we already have to have the well, I'm hanging out with this person and all those types of conversations. Why make that one space where you go to de-stress stressful?

SPEAKER_03 1:17:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:17:56

Right. So that's why it's kind of my rule. Um, and I also have never had a partner that I've been like super, super active with. Like we've been on the same workout plan and we worked out together. Every person I've ever dated, we've gone in and done our own thing. And I personally enjoy that a lot. I like having that time and that space for myself. And like, cool, if we want to do a workout here and there, sure. But I don't, I'm not really like a gym couple girly.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:21

Hmm.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:22

Wow.

SPEAKER_06 1:18:23

But I also have never experienced it, so I can't say that I wouldn't like it.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:27

Would do you get hit on at your gym?

SPEAKER_06 1:18:30

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:31

Okay. And you just shut them off, or do you deal the deal with them politely and you'd be like, oh, politely.

SPEAKER_06 1:18:37

I actually got messaged recently. Um, and I just said that I wasn't interested at this time.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:43

Just because you might have been interested, but just because they couldn't. I wasn't interested. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_06 1:18:48

But I'm also a very nice person, and sometimes women can understand this one. Um, when you're nice and you're a pretty girl, it often gets taken as flirtation.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:58

Oh.

SPEAKER_06 1:18:59

And is mistaken to be that way just because we're so sweet, right? Because some women have that RBF resting bitch face in a gym, and then they actually are not very nice. And so, you know, I'll give it to the guys that shoot their shots, though. I think that that's courageous and brave. Um, but I'm always the type of person to be very honest, and I'll say I don't like to excuse my French, but shit where I eat.

unknown 1:19:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:25

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you think as a person who's obsessed with fitness and lifestyle and just being healthy? As a woman, you see a lot of things and experience life. This is something you are interested in and you are learning every day, you're mastering this craft of aesthetics every day. You can definitely speak for a lot of women, like what they are mentally, physically, spiritually. But also this being a separate part of your life and relationship being one part of your life, what do you think today's men are lacking?

SPEAKER_05 1:20:04

A lot. I feel like a lot.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:06

What what are three things you think men are lacking today?

SPEAKER_06 1:20:10

Hmm. Communication. Just being like just being so honest and direct. I'll give an example. Or just kind of give you like a general idea. I feel like a lot of guys are gonna tell you what you want to hear, but they're not actually that, right? So to get the girl, they're going to spit the game, smooth talk, but then their actions are not actually following through on what their words are. So I've experienced that. Um, and it's and for me, I'm like, what? I would have rather you just be honest with who you are and openly admit to X, Y, and Z. And then you give me the opportunity to say no. But men don't want to give you that opportunity. They want you. So what are they gonna do? They're gonna do it, whatever it takes to pursue you and get you. And then generally speaking, you're going to fall for it. You're gonna be in the relationship, you're gonna get love bombed or whatever it is, and then you're gonna find out, oh, these patterns aren't adding up and your actions actually don't align with your words. Yes, they do, no, they don't. And if you're smart enough, woman, and hopefully most of us can be, it's seeing that, it's calling it out and saying, I'm gonna give myself that decision to not move forward with this because your actions and words don't align. And until those do, I can't move forward with you. So I feel like that's like the one of the biggest ones is just being honest, being direct with who you are, just wear your freaking heart on your sleeve and be vulnerable. Okay. Like stop. I always say like to clients, like when I worked with men, even leave your ego out the door when we work together. Because you're gonna learn a lot when you do that.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:21:57

When you can actually be a student in a relationship, any type of dynamic, and like under like learn, yeah, learn from your person and listen to them because they can see blind spots that you may not be able to see. Um, and what else are the two? Oh man. Um I don't have a feeling.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:18

I think you want to say balls.

SPEAKER_06 1:22:19

I don't yes, I was gonna say being direct. Okay. Yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:23

Okay.

SPEAKER_06 1:22:24

I think so. Um, I think guys are playing it too safe and they're like they're acting like women these days. They want us to chase.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:30

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_06 1:22:31

So it's like give me an example. Like they're waiting for um an example. I mean, I haven't really been in this situation, but I feel like men aren't willing to step up to the plate and just like be willing enough to take that hit and get rejected. They would rather play it safe and wait for the girl to approach them. I just haven't really been in that situation specifically because I won't do that. I personally will not. I I mean, I think it's case by case. Um, if I'm interested, I'll speak my mind.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:23:03

But I'm not gonna go chase because I do believe there should be tradition in this world that we have lost. And I believe that courting a woman is far gone and it should still kind of be that way. Like there should be work, you know, that's that's put in. And I feel like men aren't willing to go to those places anymore. And I think that it's because women are in a different position these days where um a lot of women, including myself, emotionally, I'm okay without you, mentally, I'm okay without you, financially, I'm okay without you. I'm good with being alone. I'm actually good with me, and I have a lot of peace in that. And I speak to a lot of women who are divorced or single later in their 30s, and they would say, I don't want to even interrupt this piece for this guy, because it's just not worth it. And now I feel like men don't have as much to offer in their mind because generally they're the breadwinners or they're the leaders of the household. But because women can now take care of themselves, they feel like they have nothing to offer, so then they step down.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:10

You just mentioned tradition.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:13

Inherently, that tells me yes, you're correct. Women can manage on their own, can be breadwinners. So what does that tell me? That an average man's life is basically doomed, because if you have an average job, you look at you look at the average pot, you you have average charisma in uh basically an average car or average house. Perhaps a desirable woman like yourself wouldn't look his way. That tells me the game has been doomed and it's gone up to top one percent, and a man who's top one percent in whatever niche he's in is able to offer a lot more nowadays than something you'd go for, perhaps something average. Is that is that something with you on that?

SPEAKER_06 1:25:01

Yeah, because it's so dependent. So I I actually prefer an average only because there's there's levels to courting. There's there could be courting where women want the bags, the the shoes, the crazy experience dinners, the private jets, right? I'm not that gal. So I'm like if you if you are at the store and you remembered that I like dark chocolate peanut butter cups, like amazing, right? Or love a girl. Yeah. Okay. I'm a lover girl.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:31

Okay.

SPEAKER_06 1:25:32

So I think actually, so for example, the notebook, please say you've seen it.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:36

Yes.

SPEAKER_06 1:25:36

Okay. So I'm a Noah girl, like through and through. Like the way that he wrote letters or he built the house because he just remembered and remembered every little part that she wanted, right? Like, I'm a Noah girl through and through. And not because it's, oh my gosh, it's the love story. No, it's because he was poor and he was passionate and he pursued, and he pursued in a way that he was like, There's probably no shot she's ever gonna go for me. But he was he had a mission and that was sexy and that was admiring. And there was, I forget his name, Clint or something, I forget his name.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:16

The hero, the hero of the just let's say Ryan Gosling.

SPEAKER_06 1:26:20

No, no. So the other guy in the notebook, remember, she got married, yeah, yeah, yeah. So the other one, remember the brunette?

SPEAKER_01 1:26:27

No, bad with names.

SPEAKER_06 1:26:28

Okay. So, anyways, he right, he's got the money, got the job, you know, the parents love him, the parents hate Noah.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:26:36

But um there was something about that that just like there was like a disconnect, right? Like there is all the boxes checked, but sometimes you don't need all the boxes checked. Sometimes you need just love. You know, and that could be shown in so many different ways. So I think there's levels to courting, and there's levels to this game.

SPEAKER_05 1:26:58

And it's all dependent on who you are and what you like.

SPEAKER_03 1:27:03

True.

SPEAKER_05 1:27:05

So tradition's not dead.

SPEAKER_03 1:27:07

Hopefully it's not.

SPEAKER_06 1:27:08

It's uh chivalry's not dead either.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:10

Men you think it's not dead?

SPEAKER_06 1:27:13

No, I'm telling men, it's not. It shouldn't be.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:16

Shouldn't die.

SPEAKER_06 1:27:16

Shouldn't die. So you should be opening up a door for your lady. You should be opening up a door for a stranger. You should be opening up the car door, right? And in turn, like I think that is beautiful when a woman opens up his door. A woman will follow if you lead correctly, right? But I think that guys are just, I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:36

I think I actually understand and empathize with you because you want to give up this part of your like yourself and the the peace you have for that that one who's actually deserving. But and most of times, I don't know how many times, but let's say the times or the amount of times you've tried, someone or something has let you down. And that tells Me now that you're somehow about life are forced to swallow this pill boundaries of this and it's that when is the right person you just know? You just that's word like to me, it's like word porn, which is needed. I guess you get good at communication with that. But I if we're talking love uh the the language of experience, because love is something you can't say out loud or like talk about, it's just an experience for oneself, and once you have that, you just feel it and you know, and there's no word that can ever describe the sort of love, desire, passion you'd have for that person. What did you say, so?

SPEAKER_06 1:28:42

I would I think where my mind went with that was how much lust in this world there is versus love. There's so much desire now, I feel like, because you're so caught up now on social media and women putting themselves out there in a non-modest way, if we want to go back to our beginning conversations, um, sporting themselves in ways where it's desiring to men and it's causing a lot of emotional cheating and a lot of disrupt in relationships. And so I think that there's so much more of that going on than there is love, and I don't know if people even understand the difference of what that actually feels like.

SPEAKER_01 1:29:24

You said men lie and they aren't honest about their feelings. I agree to that. Let's just say that that's the case. Don't you think the women are presenting themselves online in such a way where they would have those men's attention? Because if you're modest, why would a person who's a pimp hit you up? And then when women get pimped out for the way they present themselves, and then like, oh shit, I got fucked over. Okay, what kind of attention are you attracting in the first place? Well, right, is my question to you. Secondly, if you think you're putting yourself out there is uh self-love, you want to show yourself, present yourself in such a way, or all that lifestyle, you can, but you can't aim towards A and expect B.

unknown 1:30:13

Correct.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:14

You see what I mean? I agree. And there's this old saying, we're talking about traditions. Why do you think men lie and women wear makeup?

SPEAKER_06 1:30:24

I mean, yeah, I I have a whole thing on makeup. We can go down that whole realm. I feel bad for guys, to be honest, um, when it comes to that. But yeah, I think to your that that's where women also need to understand what are you putting out there, right? So there's levels, is what I'm saying. Like there's you could be putting out for validation for money, right? Like let's go into OnlyFans. What do they want? Money, and they're willing to do whatever it takes for it.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:52

Would you ever have an OnlyFans?

SPEAKER_06 1:30:54

Hell no.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:54

Why is that?

SPEAKER_06 1:30:55

Hell no. It's I think that it's um degrading as a woman. Um, I would never. The only the only of this situation is my husband who's gonna see that in myself a hundred percent. I don't think that it's meant for the world, it's not meant for the world. Even Adam and Eve, as soon as they were naked, they put leaves over themselves to cover themselves. I mean, if you want to take it back to that, like at the end of the day, I think that it's um I I would say degrading. I know that's a pretty big word to use because there's a lot of people that do it, but I think that it is um, it takes away those soft parts of femininity and um the mystery that women should still have about themselves and curiosity, right? Like now you've just given it all up.

SPEAKER_05 1:31:46

What's there to really get from you when I've seen it all?

SPEAKER_00 1:31:53

True.

SPEAKER_01 1:31:54

Perhaps I believe, I believe, and I know that because I talk to men behind the scenes. Perhaps a woman nowadays, the way she's dressed culturally, probably the gym outfits, probably you know, posting herself, bikinis online, whatever. There's no good and bad about that. But FYI, that could also be degrading for some men out there. Yeah. Just uh just just to think perhaps the kind of man you want, you're missing your chances by doing that.

SPEAKER_06 1:32:27

100%.

SPEAKER_01 1:32:28

Could be the case, FYA just got look within. You could the man could be like, she's everything I ever want, but why the hell is this right happening and that's not acceptable?

SPEAKER_06 1:32:38

So, but then uh in that situation, gray area, also why aren't you giving that girl a chance to explain herself? Because there are so many things. So if that's everything that you want, but this one thing about how she's putting herself out there is not what you want. Can't a man also potentially message and say something? And if she doesn't agree, she doesn't agree? Or what if she was willing to change those things for that person? Or you never know if you don't say anything, you don't give someone also the benefit of the doubt.

SPEAKER_01 1:33:05

How far are you willing to go yourself in your personal life to disrupt that piece, to change someone?

SPEAKER_06 1:33:12

To change something?

SPEAKER_01 1:33:14

Someone.

SPEAKER_06 1:33:14

Someone. Like a partner, you're saying?

SPEAKER_01 1:33:20

Look at so I'm sure you've been in the relationship and you know like how many things you have to go through, like honeymoon phase aside.

SPEAKER_03 1:33:27

Right.

SPEAKER_01 1:33:27

Now the reality check kicks in, and you have to face a lot of things. So maybe their downsides, their emotionals, ups and downs, uh, the the way they act and handle emotions and stress. Look at the amount of things you have to put up with. And I'm sure it's the same for guys. So would I rather guy if I if he has two options, he was like, Well, I have I have A and B. B is everything I want, A is also everything I want, but X, Y, Z, whatever that is, why wouldn't he go for a B? Why would he even give the chance for an A? Because if the B exists.

SPEAKER_05 1:34:01

That's a good that's a good counter argument, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:34:04

Right?

SPEAKER_05 1:34:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:34:05

If if you want to add on to that.

SPEAKER_06 1:34:09

No, I just think in like that's where I like it's so gray. Like there's it's not like a black and white situation. And also, I I've heard this once a long time ago, but I feel like if you fall in love with something or someone but you see something else after the fact and you also have that same like desire, let's say I feel like you should go for the second one. It's like what do you mean? Like I forget where it's from. I think it's a movie. But it's almost like if I were to, you know, fall in love with this guy and then I met this person and he also checked all of my boxes, and you know, I'm in love with him as well. Like, I almost feel like was that even exactly who I wanted and who I loved if I feel the same way with this person. But there I don't, I mean, that's also an interesting.

SPEAKER_01 1:35:01

I can actually have a I have a very good take on that if you want me to elaborate. Oh, yeah. Don't don't well it might might push some buttons, but if you truly want to know. So we don't have to relate and play and gamble with people on that. Let's say you're now you're gambling on people's emotions, their lives, their love, their emotion, whatever, right? So look at your life, or look at my life, or look at anyone else else's life. How many clothes do you have in your closet already? Tons of them. But you still go buy new ones. Perhaps you're just walking out and you see a little new Lululemon leggings, and you're like, whoa, I want that, even though you have ten of them sitting in a closet. Right. For a guy, it's a car. They have three of them. They see another one. They're like, Alright, can I afford it? Yes, I can. And we just go for that. It's even even as a kid, let's let's look at a four-year-old child.

SPEAKER_04 1:35:53

Right.

SPEAKER_01 1:35:54

He has tons of dinosaurs in the house or whatever toys he has, but he goes out and wants a new one every single time. So it's not just us adults, even the kids have the same patterns. So what it brings down to is a human's desire to get more and more and more and more. Why do you think people at 15, 16, and people at 65, 66 years of age are still aren't done and fulfilled by their desires when they don't get anything?

SPEAKER_05 1:36:26

Oh man.

SPEAKER_01 1:36:28

And even even if you ask a person who's on his deathbed, what do you wish you could have gotten? Right. There's always more.

SPEAKER_06 1:36:35

Right. I mean, I think that's the thing is like, when does the chase end?

SPEAKER_01 1:36:39

For something it doesn't end outside. It always ends within. I mean, for a guy.

SPEAKER_06 1:36:43

That's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_01 1:36:44

A guy he get gets with a woman at 22, 10 years down the line, there's another 22-year-old on the market, 21-year-old. But he's like, Well, what are men attracted to statistically? Youth. Well, youthfulness, beauty, pretty. 10 is down the line, now he's in his forties. There's a new 22-year-old. So for a guy, it's a never-ending thing because we're attracted to what we look at. For a woman, it could be something else. There's there's a guy who's probably a richer guy in the market. There's always a bigger fish in the sea.

SPEAKER_02 1:37:16

Right.

SPEAKER_01 1:37:16

So the question should be if you're gonna put yourself through all of that and end up in the same spot of choosing between A and B, or realizing that all of these desires are temporary and not fulfilling. Even at 65, you've let's say you dated a man ten years, you've devoted to one man, then you switched on and switched on and switched on. What is that telling me at this 75 years of age? That that changing a man every time there's a new one in the market isn't the answer. What's the answer? Answer is the desires itself. It's they're all temporary, it's like motions, like emotions. They're they're meant to come and go.

SPEAKER_02 1:37:58

Right. Right.

SPEAKER_01 1:37:59

It's not meant to come and last and stay forever. You're not feeling angry right now. Perhaps you were three days ago. Right. So just like that, that that feeling of wanting something and desiring something, ask yourself, is it temporary? Or is it is it permanent?

SPEAKER_04 1:38:14

Right.

SPEAKER_01 1:38:16

Now that if you're in a relationship, you gotta question yourself, is it worth it? Because depends on the kind of relationship you have. Some people think when they sign up for a relationship, they're giving up their freedom away. Yeah. To an extent, I see, depends on the guy you're with or the girl you're with. Now that's the boundary you need to decide. Okay, am I willing to lose the most desirable man in the world for one boundary, which is he's not allowed to uphold me down, sorry, uphold me to an expectations he's set in his mind about a woman he's gonna have. I'm gonna go out and gonna be free willed, but I'm gonna come back to him. If that's what you choose to do, you might bargain on losing him. Are you okay with that? Are you not okay with that? It's a question you need to ask yourself. And if not, you're like, I want to have kids, family with this guy, is it is it worth the gamble at this point in my life?

SPEAKER_00 1:39:18

Perhaps not.

SPEAKER_01 1:39:21

And I believe, truly for an extent, if you look at Mother Earth, we call it Mother Earth for a reason, you'll look at centuries, thousands of years. What's one relationship in this world that is deepest to any relationship out there? Is for it's from a mother to the child. Why do you think statistically a lot of women when they have kids they stop having sex with their partners? Yeah. Because that that relationship or that want and desire has been replaced by something greater. Yeah. Which is your kid.

SPEAKER_04 1:39:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:39:59

And then what husbands wonder what the fuck? Like most people most marriages are sexless for a reason. I mean, there are other factors, but this is one of the factors that woman becomes less sexual, sexually hyper when she has kids.

SPEAKER_06 1:40:12

Based off of postpartum hormones, usually. So like women go through the postpartum depression phase. You know, I personally don't have kids, I don't know that feeling.

SPEAKER_02 1:40:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:40:20

But I work with a lot of moms and have a lot of friends who've had kids, and postpartum depression is pretty real, and it's it's a lot of hormones that they have to battle. So I think that to an extent that it could be a temporary thing, I think that it's super important. I've I've I know people and I've had conversations with where I've said, What do you mean you're not having sex? Yeah, that is so important. Like there should be date nights on the calendar. There should be, and there's so many guys. Um, I can't think of his name right now, but he also does podcasts and he's amazing. And he says, When before we had kids, we like established a rule. And it was even when I come home, I don't go to my son first, I go to my wife first. Because I want that to be shown also to my son that she's first. And they've established this rule of like we go on this date, we have this, but you have to have that conversation and be willing to go there with your partner. And I think that's before kids. I think things change when you have kids. And basically you never really know what the situation's gonna be until they're there. But I think it's so important to not lose that bond. But to your, you know, what you said, which was beautifully said, that bond and that desire, especially a mother and a son or a mother and a daughter and their child, yeah, it's it does become a greater desire because it's a life that you have to now be really taking care of, you know. But I think that you shouldn't lose sight of what got you here in the first place.

SPEAKER_00 1:41:46

Which is the man, the husband.

SPEAKER_06 1:41:48

Oh without him, you wouldn't have the baby. And without your bond, that situation, right, and that child is a blend of both of you. And I think that it's like I desire in my own home.

SPEAKER_01 1:42:01

Do you do you think women are thinking that when they're filing for divorces?

unknown 1:42:05

No.

SPEAKER_06 1:42:06

No, not at all.

SPEAKER_01 1:42:08

So it tells me they they win 90% of custody battles for a reason. Even though that tells me that a bond with a man, yes, should be prioritized on paper. Is it in practicality? Perhaps not. Something something to bring up as well.

SPEAKER_03 1:42:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:42:28

But yeah, um uh it was about desires. Yeah. And I believe it's a never-ending loophole, which a person can the earlier you get out of it, the less miserable you will be. Because I've spent a lot of time in like old age homes, and one of the questions to all of these old people is what's the biggest regret of your life? And at that point they feel like they're on the finish line. And I asked them about religion, their faith, their family life. There's always I wish I could this and I wish I could this. And then I asked them, how passionate were you about life, about your wife at that point, maybe your kids, maybe that business deal, millions of dollars, your faith. Does it even matter at this point? They are empty faced because they don't have the answer.

SPEAKER_05 1:43:22

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 1:43:24

That's that has been my experience, and that's why you gotta question life as in what is real.

SPEAKER_05 1:43:32

Hmm, that's fascinating.

SPEAKER_06 1:43:34

But I think it's true though, when you do get to that point, it's like what really mattered.

SPEAKER_01 1:43:38

You gotta live though. You gotta live. 100%. Yeah, you you it doesn't mean that you leave everything and you become a booty, like a Buddhist whatever, yeah. Like you go on a hill, gonna mountain, and then just give everything up. No, that's not the answer. I think it's to live life fully. Yeah. That's number one. It's it's a gift. For a reason. Yeah, you know, and that's why it's called the present, because it is present right now, whatever it is. It's never now, it's never then, it's always right now, right here. So yeah, and live fully, that's the number one, but also I believe people give their intelligence away when they start believing in something that they don't know of. I this this might be a little controversial, but I don't know if all the priests, the fathers that you go meet at these holy places from all the different scriptures, not just Christianity, how do you know if they know what they know? Or how do you know how do they how do you like give them that power over your life and your relationship with God that they're teaching you how your relationship with God should be? I don't know. That's a question I ask myself.

SPEAKER_06 1:44:46

That's a great question. Um, I don't even have an answer to that. I know that from my experience, like when I've gone to church, I'm picky on pastors because I don't want someone to tell me that it should be this specific way.

SPEAKER_03 1:45:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:45:02

I think that pastors I've always gravitated towards, it says this has like been my life experience. And of course they teach you still like through the Bible and through scripture, and they all and they of course they believe in God and etc. Um but they give off of their own testimony, you know, of their own walk. Yeah. And instead of just this is it either this way or the highway, like it's this is what I've experienced in my life. I want the same fullness and joy for your life. And this is what I've done to get here. And it's not going to be the same roadmap. Everyone's experience is different. Yep. And so I think I've always gravitated towards pastors that can be human and relatable and make sure that um, you know, that of course that they got a story of themselves, you know, and you know, that they've been through it before they found God and what and what did that do for them? And how can how can you be a mentor? Yeah, not someone I'm oh, he did it exactly this way. So I have to do it this way. And I've got caught up in that loophole myself. Yeah. But I'm like, no, this is your experience, this is your life. And you're going to, everyone in church, for example, when a pastor gives a message, what I interpret as wow, that was a light bulb moment is not going to be the same as my neighbors. And maybe it will, but it's all we're all interpreting it so differently, right? And it's like, how are you applying that to your life? It's not going to be the same way that your neighbor applies it or that even the pastor applies it, but something's going to click for you and you're going to make it applicable to your life in the ways that feel right for you.

SPEAKER_01 1:46:44

Yeah. Perhaps. Well, coming back onto the health topic, what's one thing about woman's metabolism or health that most people don't know about?

SPEAKER_06 1:46:56

I think that um metabolic syndrome isn't talked about enough, um, which comes generally from under-eating and chronic yo-yo dieting. And that's a really big thing in the industry. Um, I think in general, women don't know how much food they need for their bodies. And we've been taught from a very young age that less is more, essentially, and that we don't need to be eating this many calories or to be afraid of carbs or to be afraid of certain foods and food groups. Um, and that's caused lower metabolisms because when you're under-eating, so you have your BMI, which is your basal metabolic or your BMR, excuse me, your basal metabolic rate, which is just from sitting here right now, I'm burning calories just from my height, my weight, my age, just as a couch potato, I burn X amount of calories. Let's just say it's 1400 calories. So most women are eating under 1200 calories, or they think 1200 calories is enough for them. That's what they've been told, which is a lie. So they're under-eating, and that slows the metabolism down, which is going to cause a lot of health issues down the line. And that could be hormonal disruptions, could be loss of hair, loss of period. Um, and that can lead to metabolic syndrome. So there's there's a lot of that going on that women are underware unaware of, and questions that a coach needs to ask is always asking even about libido, period. Are you are you easily irritable? Are you easily moody? So there are a lot of like hormonal questions and a lot of women are how's your stress level?

SPEAKER_03 1:48:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:48:35

So if all of those things are trending in a downward direction, yeah, generally that's that's from diet or lack of sleep and stress and gotcha.

SPEAKER_01 1:48:47

What's number one thing women can do instantly who are listening to this to get to feel better?

SPEAKER_05 1:48:58

Protect your time.

SPEAKER_06 1:49:00

Protecting your time. Having if you have something on the calendar for yourself, let's just say it's a workout, a walk, uh, reading a book, taking a bath, where it's just you in that moment where you can silence the noise out, not have your phone distracting you, um, your kids distracting you, your husband distracting, whatever the noise of the world. Protect that time and honor it because that's self-respect. And the more that you build evidence in that area, the more confident you're going to get. And day to day, it's gonna be very challenging because life life, and each day something's gonna come up that's gonna take you away from that. But it's it's literally up to you, and you are in control of am I gonna allow this moment to take me away from what I need to do for myself in order for me to show up better for me and the rest of the people around me. And there's cases everyone will argue, well, something came up and so on and so forth. I had to move it to another day. Sure, but how how many times are you gonna say that to yourself? Right. So I would say protect your time as much as you can.

SPEAKER_01 1:50:02

I was gonna I I I thought you were gonna say just just eat an ice cream sandwich.

SPEAKER_06 1:50:07

Eat an ice cream sandwich. Eat the frickin' cookie. That too, right? Like just have fun. Like this isn't so serious. I think that people make like I the amount of questions I get. Amanda, like there was a video I got sent yesterday. It was a guy who had chicken out, sweet potato out, and all these things, right? And it was he was saying, if you eat this before this, then this happens. If you eat this before this, so eat this before this, and then this on your plate. And I and my client messaged me and said, Is this right? And I said, We are so like confused, it's crazy. Why are we teaching the like the public to make this more confusing than it already is? Yeah, right? Like just eat your eat everything on your plate. And when you're full, stop eating. Okay, like the whole, you know, there's starving kids in Africa. There are starving kids on the block around us. You know what I mean? Like they're everywhere. You can throw away your food, it's okay. Like it's so I just think there's this so much food noise and noise in general around all of that, and it gets really confusing. And then um it just comes up, it's then it's just excuses. Well, I'm not doing this because I was told this. Where did you learn that? Instagram, okay? Who's your source? And why are you making it that much more difficult on your side?

SPEAKER_01 1:51:31

And then tell us more about your coaching. How do you help women to fix their routine and help them actually stick to it?

SPEAKER_06 1:51:40

Sticking to it, that's the hardest part. But helping them um change their routine starts with very simplistic things. I'm um I love to always say, don't bite off more than you can chew. Because the moment you do that, you're going to instantly, you're going to put yourself in a in failure mode, or you're going to fail, and then you're going to get discouraged, and then you're going to completely stop altogether, and then you're going to be stuck in this zero to 100. I need to restart Monday attitude. So don't bite off more than you can chew. If a person comes to me hypothetically, and she's sedentary most of her day, she's at a nine to five desk job. She doesn't really get up that much. Um, she has 30-minute, let's just say, her lunch time. It's her only time to actually get in a workout for her day because she has to go home and take care of the kids and the list goes on of things, right? I'm not going to tell that girl to go from a couple thousand steps a day to 10,000 steps a day. I'm going to tell her, let's work up by a couple thousand. Let's try to push her for. How do you do that? Park a little bit farther, take the stairs, stand up in between stuff. On your lunch, go on a walk, right? So there's ways to implement it to make it realistic for someone's current lifestyle rather than completely like uphauling their entire lifestyle and then changing it radically because then they're not going to actually be able to sustain it and it's not going to be realistic. So when they stop working with me, how do I do all this? I wasn't able to do this without her. My goal is that my clients don't have to die with me as like as their coach. My goal is to set them free into a life that they can sustain for themselves. And um, that's like, you know, kind of part one as far as routines go, is just looking at their life, identifying where they're lacking. A lot of times it's structure. They have no structure. They're following random workouts in the gym. They're tracking in their mind what they're eating. I'm eating enough protein. No, you're not. You're having an egg for breakfast. That's six grams of protein. So, or you're skipping it altogether because you were told that intermittent fasting is actually better for you and you're gonna lose weight.

SPEAKER_03 1:53:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:53:43

So it's just more or less um making sure that it's realistic. Uh, food, if it's hard for them to follow a certain diet, I'm not gonna give them a diet to follow. I'm gonna give them, I say, send me your grocery list. Let's look at that. I'll build from there. Where do we need to add? What do we need to take away? If you have bad habits, here's how we clean that out. And that's by removing it from your house.

SPEAKER_03 1:54:06

Yep.

SPEAKER_06 1:54:06

So on and so forth. Um, so I think again, it's just it all comes down to it's all customized, what I do. Not it's all not this is not a one size fits all, but I would say that you should have a strategic plan and a system that does work through and through like tried and true methods, and that can be the baseline approach for most people. And then you just have to kind of tweak certain things because you could come to me and say, I have a shoulder injury or a knee injury, I have to change your program from the other person, for example.

SPEAKER_01 1:54:38

Yeah, or tell us where people can find you and how can they sign up for your coaching.

SPEAKER_06 1:54:43

Yeah, so Amanda Neeson is my name for some last name. Amanda FitNies is my Instagram. It's Amanda dot Fit dot N-E-E-S. So Neeson, last name fitneese. A little clever there, not just fitness. Um, if you go on to my Instagram, I have a link in my bio. You can access, I have a link form at the top that's just one-on-one coaching with me to answer a few questions, and then we'll get on a phone call that's a free consultation, and we can kind of see where you're at, um, kind of go through, you know, what your struggles are, what your goals are, see if we're a good fit. Um, I also have my website there as well that's gonna give you more information about who I am, dive a little bit deeper, testimonials, things like that. And there's also a way to access one-on-one coaching on my website.

SPEAKER_01 1:55:29

Oh, wow. Awesome. Wow. What are your favorite top five muscles on a guy?

SPEAKER_06 1:55:36

Oh, a top five muscles on a guy.

SPEAKER_01 1:55:38

Best to least.

SPEAKER_06 1:55:40

Arms. Arms. Like specific.

SPEAKER_03 1:55:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:55:44

I love a good forearm. I don't know why women will agree with me on this.

SPEAKER_03 1:55:48

Okay.

SPEAKER_06 1:55:49

Forearms are, I don't know. When they're just thick, like just meat. Women love meat.

SPEAKER_01 1:55:57

Like I mean, yeah. I know, but you mean on the forearms, right?

SPEAKER_06 1:56:01

Also, no, just in general. So, like arms, I think in general. Like forearm, like I would say also like, yeah, yeah. Like you got something to hold on to, right? Um, back. Okay. That's number two. Yeah. Okay. A nice back is really great. I I am a big upper body girl when it comes to men's physiques. But if you have twig legs as a man and no ass, that's unattractive to me. Because that just means you don't train that area. So um, I'd say just well proportioned, but I would say like I definitely grab when I see a man that has like a good upper body build.

SPEAKER_01 1:56:40

The forearms, back, what are the three? In order.

SPEAKER_06 1:56:44

You say top five?

SPEAKER_01 1:56:44

Top five, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:56:45

Oh, that's not is that really ordered? I don't know. Okay, so forearms, sure, like good pecs is nice, but not like super crazy to find. Just like, you know, you got good something to hold on to.

SPEAKER_00 1:56:58

What of number four?

SPEAKER_05 1:57:00

Um I mean I'd say like thighs. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:57:06

And then that's about it, I believe.

SPEAKER_05 1:57:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:57:09

Yeah. Would you rather pick like a dad board or someone with six packs?

SPEAKER_05 1:57:14

Six pack.

SPEAKER_01 1:57:15

Do you have an ideal physique that you really love? Perhaps you want to cite an actor.

SPEAKER_06 1:57:24

Hmm. Um, I don't know his name right now, but tell me the role.

SPEAKER_00 1:57:30

Perhaps I'll guess it.

SPEAKER_06 1:57:31

Housemaid. It's the husband. Every woman listening to this will understand.

SPEAKER_00 1:57:39

Housemaid.

SPEAKER_06 1:57:40

Housemaid, and he's also in the Colin Hoover movie. Um It Ends With Us. He's actually the other guy in the movie that she fell in love with from the very beginning. Yes.

SPEAKER_05 1:57:56

There are my eyes lit up. His he's got he's got a body.

SPEAKER_00 1:58:05

So this is ideal. Ideal. Okay. Yeah. Is there like a specific race or type that you're very attracted to?

SPEAKER_06 1:58:17

I think I always find myself to like attracted to white guys. But it hasn't worked out so far, so I'm not um I'm not super particular on like race or where you're from specifically.

SPEAKER_00 1:58:32

Um is there a race or a guy that you wouldn't date?

SPEAKER_05 1:58:36

Indian?

SPEAKER_00 1:58:38

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 1:58:38

Chinese, probably.

SPEAKER_06 1:58:41

Okay. Would be the only. Yeah. I've never dated a black guy, so I don't know, but I don't know. Yeah. You know? Um But I feel like that's I'm not attract like I I'm not attracted to enough. Yeah. Like I feel like I'm not like attracted to an Indian man, or I'm not attracted to a Chinese man, I'm not attracted to black men as much as I am attracted to a white guy or Middle Eastern. Um, so I think I'm also a typical tall, dark, and handsome. Okay. Is my my usual like look that I go to or go for.

SPEAKER_01 1:59:19

Okay.

SPEAKER_06 1:59:20

Try to go for. I never ended up with, but yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:59:24

Usually they're vanilla. Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_06 1:59:26

Like lighter eyes, like light brown hair.

SPEAKER_00 1:59:30

Okay.

SPEAKER_06 1:59:31

Yeah. Like I've dated a guy I remember, and well he was he's like really good friend of mine now, but um, and he I remember when he showered and I saw freckles on him, and I said, Okay, how white are you? And he goes, Oh, I'm like Irish, and like all the the Scott, and I go, Oh, you're like white, white. Okay, okay. Um, so I don't know. I feel like I'm open.

SPEAKER_01 1:59:55

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:59:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:59:56

You're open to date anything Indian Chinese, perhaps, but you're open to date a black or Middle Eastern. Yes. Okay.

SPEAKER_06 2:00:05

I think so, yeah. I mean, definitely Middle Eastern. I like I said I've never been with a black guy, but I I don't I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 2:00:11

That's true. Yeah. Is is there a minimum height that you go for? That at least should be this much.

SPEAKER_04 2:00:18

I mean, yeah, at least like I'm 5'5, so at least like 5'10, 5'11, at least.

SPEAKER_01 2:00:24

So you're not one of those, like, oh, at least six foot.

SPEAKER_06 2:00:27

Well, every man tells me six foot and then they're like 5'11. Oh, okay. Or they say that. Um, I would say like I since I'm 5'5, when I put a heel on, I'm probably like five, six, five, no, no, five, seven, five, eight. Yeah. You know? So as long as you're taller than me, I don't want to be taller than you, especially in heels.

SPEAKER_01 2:00:46

Yeah. I always wanted to ask a woman, like, is there a thing of being too tall for a guy?

SPEAKER_06 2:00:54

Um, I think some people don't care, but I would not personally like that. Or like to be the same height.

SPEAKER_01 2:01:03

No, no, no. Like being too tall.

SPEAKER_06 2:01:05

Like too tall. Oh, oh, I see. Like your height.

SPEAKER_01 2:01:09

No, no, no. As a guy who's too tall for you. You're like, oh, he's too short for me. Oh no, now he's too tall for me.

SPEAKER_06 2:01:15

Too tall. Uh I've I mean, right, there's a lot of NFL basketball players that come in here, and I'm like, hello, you know, so I don't think so. I think it's more, I think it's more attractive. There's something about being small around a man's presence that feels good.

SPEAKER_03 2:01:32

Gotcha.

SPEAKER_06 2:01:32

Um, and I'm sure as a man who's tall, he's like, Yeah, you know, like I own this girl. Yeah, yeah. And there's something about that connection that I feel like is desirable.

SPEAKER_01 2:01:42

Yeah, like instinctually.

SPEAKER_06 2:01:44

Yeah, but I think that every woman has a different preference, you know.

SPEAKER_01 2:01:46

Yeah, but so there's no like height limit for you. You're open like to go up until seven foot.

SPEAKER_06 2:01:51

I mean, seven foot's kind of crazy. Like one of my friends is six, seven and he's tall, but I would like not that I would say would date him, but like I wouldn't turn down like his height. I think seven foot is a little bit too much. Yeah. I'm not trying to be like breaking my neck trying to look at you. And then how am I gonna kiss you? It's gonna you're gonna have to lift me up.

SPEAKER_01 2:02:14

Yeah. But it's it was truly an honor and pleasure to host you.

SPEAKER_06 2:02:20

It's an honor too to be here. Thank you so much for having me.

SPEAKER_01 2:02:22

Yeah, and well, hopefully, we'll this podcast go over and we have you again.

SPEAKER_04 2:02:26

Yeah, definitely.

SPEAKER_01 2:02:27

Thank you. This is it, guys. Thank you for tuning in, and we'll see you in the next episode. Peace.