SPEAKER_00: Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord.
SPEAKER_00: For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its savior.
SPEAKER_00: Now, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
SPEAKER_00: Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water in the Word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spots or wrinkle, or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
SPEAKER_00: In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.
SPEAKER_00: He who loves his wife loves himself.
SPEAKER_00: For no one ever hated his own flesh, his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.
SPEAKER_00: Therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.
SPEAKER_00: This mystery is profound, and I'm saying that it refers to Christ and the church.
SPEAKER_00: However, let each one of you love his wife as he loves himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
SPEAKER_00: This is the reading of God's word.
SPEAKER_01: There are certain words that we had that elicited some kind of response from us.
SPEAKER_01: Words like wives, husbands, marriage, submit, love, respect, right?
SPEAKER_01: These words take us on a spin quite quick.
SPEAKER_01: We might be found in a place where we decide, okay, maybe this is not talking to me.
SPEAKER_01: If you're not married, so I'm just gonna slouch back.
SPEAKER_01: This I might even consider going to grab that coffee with a friend.
SPEAKER_01: So you slouch back, he's not talking about me, or you sit up straight to say, I've been waiting for this conversation, or in excitement, perhaps you heard wives and you looked at your wife with with glee on your face, or perhaps even with resentment where you heard husband and you thought to yourself, there's that one who got away who I thought by now would have been my husband, or um a resentment in saying, I was once someone's husband, I was once someone's wife, and so there's there's a resentment perhaps that that builds up.
SPEAKER_01: Um, or even you consider divorce rates and you think, yeah, yeah, no, can't me out for that one.
SPEAKER_01: Um, or you're asking, Futi, when is this guy proposing?
SPEAKER_01: So my encouragement is that don't hear marriage and think this is not related to you if you're not married.
SPEAKER_01: And I'm saying this for two reasons.
SPEAKER_01: One is that we'll see that although Paul is talking about marriage, um, he's also talking about something far more important and I think more so, and it's something, a union that has you at the heart of it, whether you're married or not.
SPEAKER_01: Um, so whether you're not married or you're married, this text is speaking to you.
SPEAKER_01: So I would say pay attention and let's see how this text is pointing out, pointing us more to Christ's relation to us than merely about marriage.
SPEAKER_01: And then reason number two is that because it's talking about marriage, um, you may consider what is there for you to learn.
SPEAKER_01: The best time for you to prepare to be for marriage is before you get married.
SPEAKER_01: So lean in and glean and let's see how the gospel shapes our hearts in preparation for this blessed union.
SPEAKER_01: Um and in shaping our hearts, remove distorted views of marriage that we perhaps may hold.
SPEAKER_01: Um, and if you are married, well, you have no choice, you have to listen.
SPEAKER_01: Um because, yeah, we're talking to you today.
SPEAKER_01: Um, and and perhaps married and thinking my marriage is not in a good spot, it's not where I wanted to be, and so maybe you're thinking my time to prepare maybe has lapsed.
SPEAKER_01: I I didn't pay attention when I needed to pay attention.
SPEAKER_01: Um and so you may be thinking to draw yourself back.
SPEAKER_01: But my encouragement would be lean in.
SPEAKER_01: Um I don't know if if if you've ever seen an artist draw, and perhaps in their drawing they make a line that was not intended to be there, and we might think, okay, this picture is gone, this is where he tears the paper and he starts again.
SPEAKER_01: But but there are certain artists who will stick with that particular drawing, who will say, okay, this line maybe was not supposed to be here, but if we watch him long enough, if if we linger longer, we see this artist turn this stroke that was not to be there and craft this masterpiece out of it.
SPEAKER_01: And so with that, I'm saying, if if your marriage is not in a place where you would love it to be, perhaps sit a little longer, perhaps watch Jesus a little longer and see what he's able to do with the brokenness that your marriage is in right now.
SPEAKER_01: Perhaps trust him a little longer.
SPEAKER_01: Perhaps open your heart to him a little bit longer, and and we might be surprised that at the finished product.
SPEAKER_01: I will be the first to admit that before I was given this task, Ephesians 5.22 used to feel very harsh and very hard.
SPEAKER_01: Wives submit, husbands love until I considered that Ephesians chapter 5 or Ephesians 5.22, the conversation about marriage does not begin at Ephesians 5.22.
SPEAKER_01: It begins all the way in chapter 1 until chapter 4, and the beginning of chapter 5.
SPEAKER_01: In chapter 1 to chapter 4, our identity is established, we know we are forgiven, we know we belong, we know we are saved, we know we are united to Christ.
SPEAKER_01: We've always been a part of God's redemptive plan.
SPEAKER_01: Encouraged, therefore, to walk in the newness of life we have in Christ.
SPEAKER_01: Such that when you get to Ephesians 5.22 until 30, it starts to read more like an endearing encouragement.
SPEAKER_01: To say, in light of what you have learned about yourself and what God has done for you, I am now inviting you to participate in this special union that will enable you to live out chapter 1 to chapter 4 in a very meaningful way.
SPEAKER_01: And so it then becomes an encouragement to say, okay, God, you have done this for me, and now you are looking for me to do it to others, and in particular, one you find for me.
SPEAKER_01: And so it stopped from being such a hard drive to obedience, but more an invitation.
SPEAKER_01: It's got a taste and seeness to it, a lean in, draw in, and experience the delight of this union.
SPEAKER_01: And you do so as chapter four and three would point out, to say, in putting off and putting on the new life that we have in Christ.
SPEAKER_01: And then the question becomes then, in light of that, how could your marriage be if you walk into it shining the light of Christ?
SPEAKER_01: We found out last week that we are no longer darkness, but we are now light.
SPEAKER_01: So how would your marriage look like if you now walk into it knowing that you are light?
SPEAKER_01: The conversation, like I said, does not begin in chapter in 522.
SPEAKER_01: It begins in chapter 1 to chapter 5.
SPEAKER_01: So we are about to unpack this text.
SPEAKER_01: And before we do, we see this endearing encouragement I spoke to.
SPEAKER_01: That is walking into the beauty of this union called marriage in a manner and in doing it in an enjoyable way and enjoying the blessing that it is.
SPEAKER_01: And you then get to express your union, you get to express in your union what may be a glimpse of the beautiful union we see in the Trinity.
SPEAKER_01: What you then get to participate in in your union is to share a glimpse of Christ's unfailing love to us and his union to the church.
SPEAKER_01: And that then becomes what we are invited to.
SPEAKER_01: I said, although Paul is talking about marriage on one hand, on the one hand, he's also talking about something far greater.
SPEAKER_01: Christ's union with his church.
SPEAKER_01: And so it if beautiful marriages inspire awe, how much more the awe-inspiring pursuit of Jesus Christ's relation to us?
SPEAKER_01: Because my contention is that, or my what I'm putting down is that beautiful marriages inspire awe.
SPEAKER_01: And I think that's part of the fascination we have about marriage in our culture, because when we see two people loving each other well, there's an awe that is inspired to it.
SPEAKER_01: And this is often highlighted in how when you describe moments of beautiful marriage, you are often met with very startling responses.
SPEAKER_01: When you talk about it and you describe something beautiful in your marriage, the responses is would I would never.
SPEAKER_01: After she did that, count me out.
SPEAKER_01: Right?
SPEAKER_01: And then and then for for the guys, when when when you talk about, hey guys, now I need to leave now.
SPEAKER_01: It's like it's only half past six.
SPEAKER_01: It's like I need to leave now because I need to be home.
SPEAKER_01: And then you'll be then accused of uh.
SPEAKER_01: I married a tosser wife.
SPEAKER_01: She's pulling you by your nose.
SPEAKER_01: And that's often what what what we hear.
SPEAKER_01: And and my my thing is not to say that just get two believers and the marriage will thrive and be glib or superficial with it.
SPEAKER_01: But it's to say that two believers come into a marriage with gospel-shaped hearts.
SPEAKER_01: So they come in with an appreciation of God's grace in light of their own messiness.
SPEAKER_01: They come in with an appreciation of the beauty of redemption.
SPEAKER_01: They don't come in expecting perfection because they know they don't bring the perfection.
SPEAKER_01: So they're not expecting it.
SPEAKER_01: Right?
SPEAKER_01: But they come in pursuit of it.
SPEAKER_01: To whom who is forgiven much, loves much.
SPEAKER_01: And marriage is marked by this forgiving much and loving much.
SPEAKER_01: It opens a window into the heart of our redemptive walk with God.
SPEAKER_01: And that's the beauty of what marriage does for us.
SPEAKER_01: It is a metaphor that allows us to partner with God in being missional, such that we walk together, husband and wife, in a way that presents the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ to those who are looking into our lives.
SPEAKER_01: Such that when they say, I would never, you are able to say, I would never too, until I realized there is a God I offended.
SPEAKER_01: And in my offending him, he looked at me and extended forgiveness to me when I did not deserve it.
SPEAKER_01: And so who am I to hold against a child of his when they sin against me?
SPEAKER_01: So will I hold on to a grudge because I've been sinned against when God has forgiven the very sin that has been leveled against me.
SPEAKER_01: And so the gospel allows this marriage allows us to share the gospel in this manner.
SPEAKER_01: It is two people who are determined to immerse themselves in the love of forgiveness of God, soaking up all the grace and all the kindness of God's love, and their spouse they have chosen to be the first object on which it will overflow.
SPEAKER_01: So this husband determines to take in all the goodness of God he can take in, all the kindness of God he can take in, all the forgiveness of God he can take in.
SPEAKER_01: And he determines with all that he has received that the first object on whom this is going to overflow to is my wife.
SPEAKER_01: I don't know if if you've been thrown into a pool unexpected, you come out soaking in all your clothes, and all you look for is the most familiar person you have to yourself, and you just want to grab them and make them as wet as you are because you want them to share in what you have received.
SPEAKER_01: This is the overflowing picture we see.
SPEAKER_01: This is the call we see.
SPEAKER_01: I'm afraid I'm starting to lose time very early.
SPEAKER_01: So I've got a couple of points, three points really.
SPEAKER_01: Point one has A and B, and we will be looking at a love like this.
SPEAKER_01: Point, yeah, and then we'll get to point one and point B.
SPEAKER_01: I need to be careful because you know when you talk about marriage, people have this thing of thinking, yeah, now this guy will be able to address this issue that's been going on in my marriage.
SPEAKER_01: So I hope my spouse is listening.
SPEAKER_01: Right?
SPEAKER_01: And and I need I need us to guard against that.
SPEAKER_01: Um, the gentle new, you know, uh DMs.
SPEAKER_01: You saw what this guy did.
SPEAKER_01: Look at this husband.
SPEAKER_01: So I think today it's it's it's going to be important that we ask ourselves a more pressing question, and and that is how is God working on you?
SPEAKER_01: What needs to be attended to in your heart?
SPEAKER_01: How is the gospel shaping your heart?
SPEAKER_01: So as we get into the text, even the one who's contemplating marriage, are you waiting for the one?
SPEAKER_01: Or are you taking in all the goodness of Jesus and that in having taken in all of this goodness, you're allowing it to shape your heart such that instead of waiting to be the one, you are working on becoming the one.
SPEAKER_01: And perhaps the one who's given up on love for whatever reason, on this side of eternity, have you also given up on God's love for you?
SPEAKER_01: Have you in your disappointment closed the door even to the lover of your soul?
SPEAKER_01: So as we see this relationship being explored, perhaps ponder on that.
SPEAKER_01: Have I, because of that guy or that girl, have I now closed myself off to the love of God, the lover of my soul.
SPEAKER_01: Let's read chapter 25, 22 to 24.
SPEAKER_01: Wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord.
SPEAKER_01: The husband is the head of the wife, even the church.
SPEAKER_01: Even Christ is, even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and he himself his savior.
SPEAKER_01: Now, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives submit in everything to their husbands.
SPEAKER_01: The anchor of, we'll be looking at husbands and then we're looking at wives.
SPEAKER_01: But before we get there, I think an important anchor is to say that your relationship with your spouse is anchored on your relationship with God.
SPEAKER_01: And we'll hear be do this as a wife, do this as a husband, and I'll be careful to not speak in broad generalizations where guys want this, girls want this.
SPEAKER_01: I think the important thing is that you need to learn to figure out what is it that your spouse appreciates as respect, as submission.
SPEAKER_01: What is it in your relationship that your husband appreciates or your wife appreciates as being loved?
SPEAKER_01: So I'm not gonna go down the in order must, um, umfazim.
SPEAKER_01: The point that we hear is that the wife is to submit, the husband is to love.
SPEAKER_01: Point one A, a wife like this.
SPEAKER_01: Here's an interesting question.
SPEAKER_01: If you were to hear your if you were to overhear someone ask your husband, what is your wife like?
SPEAKER_01: What would the description be?
SPEAKER_01: So you are sitting, maybe guy he someone is talking to her husband, it's like, how is your wife like?
SPEAKER_01: And then now you wait in anticipation to hear Uzotin.
SPEAKER_01: But the question I'm asking is, would the description your husband gives reflect or describe Jesus' submission to the Father?
SPEAKER_01: Would the description that is shared sound like, no man, it sounds like you are talking about Jesus here.
SPEAKER_01: Because that is what this passage is pointing us to.
SPEAKER_01: When we look at submission here, you can also see a similar picture in in Philippians 2, 5 to 8, where Paul says, Have this mind amongst yourself, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, so though he was in form God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, taking on the form of a servant, being born in likeness, in the likeness of men, and being found in human form, he humbled himself, he submitted himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.
SPEAKER_01: So the example we are given for submission as it relates to the wife is the example of Jesus Christ's submission to the Father in laying down his life, not counting equality with God as something to be grasped, but saying, look, we are equal in form, dignity, and value, but for the purposes of redeeming your people, I will submit myself so that, I will submit myself, take on the role of the son who is offered to die, so that in doing that we are able to accomplish the work we ought to do.
SPEAKER_01: And so in the marriage context, God sets up the wife, he sets up the husband, man, woman, equal in value, equal in dignity, equal in all things that matter for the human being, but says that.
SPEAKER_01: From a roles perspective, we'll have a role for a husband, we'll have a role for a wife.
SPEAKER_01: And what it includes is that the husband will be the head of this union if it is going to work.
SPEAKER_01: The wife is going to be submitted to this head for the purposes of being a, among others, being a metaphor of God's relationship to us.
SPEAKER_01: So if we are going to reflect the glory of Christ in our marriages, there's an order to it that we are to keep.
SPEAKER_01: And part of that order is seen in the wife submitting to the husband.
SPEAKER_01: Just as Christ submitted to the father.
SPEAKER_01: So the question becomes: your husband is talking now.
SPEAKER_01: Hey, and Omu.
SPEAKER_01: But when he gets to the character questions, will he be describing Jesus?
SPEAKER_01: Submission is not meant to strip you from your worth, value, or dignity.
SPEAKER_01: It is merely a function that we assume for the purposes of fulfilling the call of marriage.
SPEAKER_01: So, as your wife, how is your submission to the Lord?
SPEAKER_01: Remember, I said your relationship with your spouse will be anchored in your relationship to God.
SPEAKER_01: How is your relationship?
SPEAKER_01: How is your submission to the Lord?
SPEAKER_01: Have you set out a criteria for submission for the Lord?
SPEAKER_01: Because as soon as you say submit, the first thing the wife will say, ah, but he must be loving as Christ loves the church.
SPEAKER_01: So we'll set out that criteria before we can consider submitting.
SPEAKER_01: Have we done the same with the Lord and set out the criteria for which we will be submissive to him?
SPEAKER_01: I will leave you with the questions.
SPEAKER_01: Let's move on to the husband.
SPEAKER_01: So, husband, you overhear someone asking your, you overhear someone asking your wife, what is your husband like?
SPEAKER_01: Same question applies.
SPEAKER_01: Would the answer she gives describe a sacrificial Jesus loving his church?
SPEAKER_01: Is that what she says of you?
SPEAKER_01: Would you be able to walk into that conversation and say, hey, you guys have opened a Bible study exploring the character of Jesus?
SPEAKER_01: Let me join in.
SPEAKER_01: That is what Paul is pointing us to.
SPEAKER_01: That we are to live as husbands with our wives in such a way that we are in full display of God's or Jesus' love for his church.
SPEAKER_01: Look at 25.
SPEAKER_01: Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her with the washing of the water, with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy without blame and without blemish.
SPEAKER_01: You will notice that for husbands, I read longer.
SPEAKER_01: In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.
SPEAKER_01: He who loves his wife loves himself.
SPEAKER_01: For no one has hated his own flesh, but nourishes it, cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.
SPEAKER_01: Is that true of you as the husband?
SPEAKER_01: Do you love your wife?
SPEAKER_01: Do you give yourself up for her?
SPEAKER_01: Do you sanctify her?
SPEAKER_01: Do you cleanse her with the words you wash over her?
SPEAKER_01: Do you in your engagements with your wife continue to point her to the cross?
SPEAKER_01: Such that when she stands up, she is without spot, without wrinkle.
SPEAKER_01: She is holy without blemish.
SPEAKER_01: You can only love in this way to the degree you are open to being loved by Jesus in this way.
SPEAKER_01: And I'm talking to the husband.
SPEAKER_01: Because you can only do that to the degree that you are open to Jesus loving you in this way.
SPEAKER_01: And I hope to the ones who are not married, you are hearing something in this.
SPEAKER_01: That Jesus loves you.
SPEAKER_01: That he gave himself up for you.
SPEAKER_01: That he sanctifies you, he cleanses you, he washes you, he presents you in splendor without wrinkle or spot or any such thing.
SPEAKER_01: He loves you as he loves his own body.
SPEAKER_01: He loves you as he loves himself.
SPEAKER_01: So, husbands, love your wives.
SPEAKER_01: Concern yourselves with the progressive growth and purification of your wife.
SPEAKER_01: Love her dearly, care for her earnestly, cheer her on, show them the attention, or show them the affection and affirmation, show them affection and affirmation, holding nothing against them.
SPEAKER_01: This leaves no room for this relieves no room for a domineering husband.
SPEAKER_01: And it also leaves no room for the passive husband who says to himself, I am Zakey, it's fine, who will not concern himself with the daily work of making the marriage work.
SPEAKER_01: It leaves no room for that.
SPEAKER_01: We see in Christ constant participation in the work of presenting his wife with splendor.
SPEAKER_01: We see Jesus continually loving on us, continually sanctifying us, continually holding nothing against us.
SPEAKER_01: So you can't look at that as a husband and say, I mean, I don't know where the dishes stay in this house.
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
SPEAKER_01: Which grade is he in now?
SPEAKER_01: This this this notion of and and and I I there's a caricature of of a husband in in culture that I I don't really appreciate, where the husband is always the fool.
SPEAKER_01: The husband always doesn't know anniversary.
SPEAKER_01: What's an anniversary?
SPEAKER_01: That's not the picture we are painted here.
SPEAKER_01: We are painted a picture of a husband who is taking all the love of God unto himself and looking to his spouse and saying, Isalah.
SPEAKER_01: And lavishes all of it on her.
SPEAKER_01: In the same way, we see Jesus look to us in our messiness and say, have more.
SPEAKER_01: Have more.
SPEAKER_01: We all get to play the Jesus role.
SPEAKER_01: And if you take a quick look at Romans 10, 12, 12, verse 10, you really find that both of them, the husband and the wife, should be engaged and taken up with the idea of outperforming one another when it comes to honoring each other.
SPEAKER_01: You are to be for each other the closest reflection of Christ.
SPEAKER_01: In your relationship, your deepest friendship, your most frequent called, your most irritating, your most offending, your most challenging person in your life, the most loving person you know.
SPEAKER_01: You are to be for them the expression of grace, forbearance, love, care, kindness, and humility that is possible personified in Jesus.
SPEAKER_01: And it is in the our here's another submission I'm making.
SPEAKER_01: Maybe wrong, you will let me know.
SPEAKER_01: But I found that it is in the moment the moments our spouse delight in us the most are the moments in which we reflect Christ the most.
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we enjoy the dinners, the laughs, but it's really at the moments where Christ was demonstrated to you by your spouse that you look at and say, God was gracious to me in giving me you.
SPEAKER_01: Because it is in those moments that we show Jesus to our spouse.
SPEAKER_01: By way of example, there's a and and yeah, well, by way of there's a time a long time ago, I was trying to be a husband on some.
SPEAKER_01: I think we need to make some financial decisions for us uh so that we're setting ourselves up.
SPEAKER_01: So I'm thinking, let's go to an auction, get a car cash so that we're not carrying the stress of a monthly instalment, you know.
SPEAKER_01: So we agree, I do pre-checks, I'm feeding back to my wife.
SPEAKER_01: Okay, this is what I sold, this is the car, I think it'll work.
SPEAKER_01: Okay, you can do that, and then I go.
SPEAKER_01: She doesn't come with because hey, it's the husband thing to do.
SPEAKER_01: I go to this auction.
SPEAKER_01: I think the car I wanted was probably taken or something, I don't know.
SPEAKER_01: So the one thing about an auction is that you have to go before.
SPEAKER_01: See the car, it's like, okay, it's this one.
SPEAKER_01: Don't forget it, remorize the number plate, cross-reference so that when it comes on the slot, you're like, okay, I'm ready to bid.
SPEAKER_01: So I get this like I don't think this car that I've seen is gonna work.
SPEAKER_01: Either it wasn't there or but it's not there anymore.
SPEAKER_01: That's when I'm supposed to pack up and go home.
SPEAKER_01: What I came here for is not here.
SPEAKER_01: Then I see it's like ah, that looks like that looks like an option.
SPEAKER_01: Bids open up.
SPEAKER_01: Oh, starting off nice.
SPEAKER_01: What could go wrong?
SPEAKER_01: I put a bit on this car.
SPEAKER_01: As soon as I did, I'm hoping.
SPEAKER_01: Can someone outbid me?
SPEAKER_01: No one did.
SPEAKER_01: The hammer strikes, the car is yours.
SPEAKER_01: Come collect, and then I call my wife.
SPEAKER_01: I think I made a boo-boo.
SPEAKER_01: Is all I say is like we'll talk when you get home.
SPEAKER_01: I get into the car.
SPEAKER_01: My goodness.
SPEAKER_01: When I come up to a stop, this thing goes and then it stops, and then yeah, no, and then I get home, present this news that's gonna set us back.
SPEAKER_01: She looks at me like it's fine, and offers me grace.
SPEAKER_01: Those become the markers because in that moment, I am experiencing an expression of Christ, and those are the moments that mark our relationship with our spouse, but we often fail at that.
SPEAKER_01: We often fail at displaying this love, much like the church, we forget the lover of our soul, we forget the cross, we seek for ourselves satisfaction in other things.
SPEAKER_01: We often choose ourselves instead, we often chatter paths, forsaking the path Christ has set for us, we let the culture shape our view of marriage, we lend our ear and uh offer our attention to the same lies of did God really say?
SPEAKER_01: We eat it all up and we watch us suffer the same consequences.
SPEAKER_01: The husband choosing either to domineer over their wives or be passive, emotionally unavailable, and neglect their responsibility to leave.
SPEAKER_01: The wife who resists submission chooses to be rather controlling, undermining their husband's hatship and withholding intimacy.
SPEAKER_01: We take good things and we make them ultimate.
SPEAKER_01: And in the process, forget our spouse, our true spouse.
SPEAKER_01: The fixation with marriage in our culture gets us to a point where it's easy to make it the ultimate, married or unmarried.
SPEAKER_01: That the pursuit is oh, I need to find the husband of my life, the wife of my life, and we take a good thing, making it ultimate, and in so doing, forsake our true spouse for who's gonna keep disappointing you, and we set on him unrealistic expectations and we suffer the disappointments.
SPEAKER_01: We take the signposts of our spouses and make them the end.
SPEAKER_01: Our spouses are to be signposts that point us to the Lord.
SPEAKER_01: We get to the signpost and we say, This is it.
SPEAKER_01: And it's not.
SPEAKER_01: And when we do this, we watch our idols slowly crumble under the weight of misplaced burdens.
SPEAKER_01: I think it's Matt Chandler who says human beings make for terrible idols.
SPEAKER_01: They don't fulfill, they disappoint.
SPEAKER_01: And then when we keep getting this disappointment, we turn and we say, Ah, this marriage thing doesn't even work.
SPEAKER_01: God has given us good things to point us to the ultimate.
SPEAKER_01: When we invert it, we set ourselves up for failure.
SPEAKER_01: Our idols are bound to break, and along them, us.
SPEAKER_01: So unless we take our idols and hand them over to the Lord Jesus to break them, they will continue to break us.
SPEAKER_01: The issues we face in our marriages spring from our own brokenness.
SPEAKER_01: And the only answer to our brokenness that I know is the gospel of Jesus Christ.
SPEAKER_01: It is the only answer there is, Jesus Himself, because he's the only one who is capable of stepping into our brokenness and offer himself to mend our hearts and reorient our affections.
SPEAKER_01: With this, I'm not looking to be idealistic as if I'm throwing ungrounded Christian platitudes.
SPEAKER_01: But if our marriages are going to bear witness to the love of God, they must be shaped by what we read in the text.
SPEAKER_01: The only way our marriages are going to work is if we, looking at chapter 5, verse 1, commit to being imitators of God.
SPEAKER_01: I'm afraid that our shortcomings, our insufficiencies, our sinfulness is too pronounced for anyone apart from Christ to deal with.
SPEAKER_01: And in a variety of ways, we are prone to wonder and leave even our spouse.
SPEAKER_01: It will help us, therefore, to look to Jesus, to savor him, to embrace the gospel and forsake our idols.
SPEAKER_01: We should stop fixating on mending broken systems that hold no water and be satisfied by the living water that is Jesus Himself.
SPEAKER_01: So when you find yourself entertaining the flirty affection of someone else, it is not just that you've moved from your spouse, you have first moved from the gospel.
SPEAKER_01: When you have centered all your energy in finding a spouse who will fulfill you, you have dethroned Christ as the apex of your fulfillment.
SPEAKER_01: If in your search, which is a good search, marriage is a good thing, well to be desired, the issue is making it ultimate.
SPEAKER_01: And it is in making it ultimate that we dethrone the love of Jesus as the apex of our fulfillment.
SPEAKER_01: And when we continue to fail, texting when we shouldn't, coming back later than we said we would, when we continue to fail in our commitment to the Lord Jesus Christ, he does not leave us there, alone, unwanted.
SPEAKER_01: What does he do?
SPEAKER_01: Let's look closely at chapter 5, 31 and 32.
SPEAKER_01: Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.
SPEAKER_01: This mystery is profound, and I am saying it refers to Christ and the church.
SPEAKER_01: So what does Jesus do?
SPEAKER_01: He is the better husband.
SPEAKER_01: The one who does not disappoint.
SPEAKER_01: The one who is Constant loves eternally.
SPEAKER_01: Looking at this text closely, you will notice that we are being told a story we have been told before.
SPEAKER_01: We have seen this pattern before.
SPEAKER_01: He comes down from heaven above, leaving the comfort of his father.
SPEAKER_01: For usin embodies humanity.
SPEAKER_01: So that he can get a grasp of us and make us one with him.
SPEAKER_01: We have seen the story before.
SPEAKER_01: This husband who comes down.
SPEAKER_01: You know, tales are told of the things husbands used to do in prior times, like before they could get a wife.
SPEAKER_01: But you see that bull?
SPEAKER_01: Bring it to me.
SPEAKER_01: And I will give you my daughter.
SPEAKER_01: We marvel at those stories.
SPEAKER_01: Those are mere pictures.
SPEAKER_01: Here we see an eternal God take on human flesh, come down to die on a cross for those who are saying, crucify him.
SPEAKER_01: I told you the passage, Paul is talking about marriage, but something else.
SPEAKER_01: And this is the something else.
SPEAKER_01: He's pointing us to the gospel.
SPEAKER_01: Where the Lord Jesus Christ lays down his life.
SPEAKER_01: Husband, when he said he himself is its savior.
SPEAKER_01: When he gives himself up for the church, when he says, Love the church, when he talks about sanctifying the church, cleansing her, washing her.
SPEAKER_01: That's the cross.
SPEAKER_01: For me and for you.
SPEAKER_01: We marvel at the husband who decides, okay, I'm not gonna get that car so that you will drive it instead.
SPEAKER_01: We marvel at stories we hear about sacrificial husbands.
SPEAKER_01: Those are mere pictures.
SPEAKER_01: This is the story.
SPEAKER_01: This is the Christ who looks to you and says, For you, my bride, I will die.
SPEAKER_01: And I will present you in splendor.
SPEAKER_01: What did we sing?
SPEAKER_01: Bohan siema.
SPEAKER_01: No, no, no, no, not that.
SPEAKER_01: Now I keep saying.
SPEAKER_01: So that he is able to present you before himself, spotless, blameless, such that when he is done with you, you are unrecognizable.
SPEAKER_01: People see you coming from Ale.
SPEAKER_01: But who are those ones?
SPEAKER_01: They are full of light, they radiate.
SPEAKER_01: You know who's talking about the same one who was sinning last week?
SPEAKER_01: Unrecognizable at the wedding of the marriage supper of the lamb.
SPEAKER_01: Unrecognizable.
SPEAKER_01: Because he has done a work in you.
SPEAKER_01: He has done a work in you.
SPEAKER_01: Nah, kibu manang.
SPEAKER_01: Who are those ones who are coming from beyond?
SPEAKER_01: Dusting off the dust of the graves.
SPEAKER_01: Full of light, radiating, full of splendor.
SPEAKER_01: Such is how Christ presents you.
SPEAKER_01: Removing your sin as far as the east is from the west.
SPEAKER_01: Clearing your conscience.
SPEAKER_01: Such that you are able to stand before God.
SPEAKER_01: And God looks at you and is pleased.
SPEAKER_01: That is what we are being pointed to here.
SPEAKER_01: Such that when we look at a beautiful marriage, we don't get lost in the individuals.
SPEAKER_01: But we recognize that these individuals are pointing us to someone else.
SPEAKER_01: They are pointing us to the Lord Jesus.
SPEAKER_01: And that is what we see Paul do here.
SPEAKER_01: Because all along he's talking, and you can see him talking like, you know, like Christ, you know, do it, but really this way.
SPEAKER_01: And you see him playing this almost ping pong.
SPEAKER_01: To say, do it like this, but really you are being Christ.
SPEAKER_01: Do it like this, but really be Christ.
SPEAKER_01: And then when we get to 20, when we get to 31 and 32, we see him lift our eyes from this marriage that I've been talking about, but not really.
SPEAKER_01: This is what I would have you look at.
SPEAKER_01: Behold Christ.
SPEAKER_01: Behold the lover of your soul.
SPEAKER_01: Umuratu.
SPEAKER_01: Behold the one who loves you.
SPEAKER_01: Behold him.
SPEAKER_01: Cast your gaze on him.
SPEAKER_01: Center your affections on him.
SPEAKER_01: He is your savior.
SPEAKER_01: He is the lover of your soul.
SPEAKER_01: You know, we accept our spouse's love, in our accepting our spouse's love, we are faced with a reality we need to contend with.
SPEAKER_01: That this love that I'm receiving from my spouse is running to the degree that my spouse knows of me.
SPEAKER_01: The covenant helps us because it says to us, even if I am to find out something about you that I didn't know before, I will continue to love you.
SPEAKER_01: So the covenant of marriage helps us with that.
SPEAKER_01: However, even though we see the love of our spouse and we accept it, at times there could be a thing, or hey, if she finds out this one, I don't know.
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
SPEAKER_01: But this lover of our soul knows us fully.
SPEAKER_01: You know, there are times where you realize, yo, did I just say that?
SPEAKER_01: It's like this is so unlike me.
SPEAKER_01: It's been you all along.
SPEAKER_01: And Christ knew all along, and he loved you all along.
SPEAKER_01: You are secure in this marriage, united with Christ, and he is at work to present you with splendor.
SPEAKER_01: I am my beloved, and my beloved is mine.
SPEAKER_01: And then after the height of it, we see Paul bring us down again.
SPEAKER_01: Look at thirty three.
SPEAKER_01: However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
SPEAKER_01: It's almost like we've seen this glory, this beautiful picture, and then we draw it back again to the individual.
SPEAKER_01: Do like I do.
SPEAKER_01: And now we hear the I do.
SPEAKER_01: An inspired union, a heart shaped by the gospel, that informs how I am to love my wife, that informs how I am to love and respect my husband.
SPEAKER_01: It is anchored on what we have seen been done to us.
SPEAKER_01: So we contend to take on the full mercy of God, the full grace of God, the full kindness of God, and look to our spouse and say, It's too much to keep to myself.
SPEAKER_01: I will pour it out to you.
SPEAKER_01: It's the same to the unmarried.
SPEAKER_01: We are to see on the cross this God who has loved us.
SPEAKER_01: Take on all of this love, all of this goodness, all of this kindness, and find amongst us to whom shall I overflow?
SPEAKER_01: Because I cannot keep it to myself.
SPEAKER_01: I will not keep it to myself.
SPEAKER_01: We enjoy and delight in the Lord, in what he is doing in us, so that we might enjoy and delight in doing the same to others.
SPEAKER_01: We are to radiate and reflect Jesus, being secure in the love of God that has been displayed in Jesus' pursuit for us.
SPEAKER_01: All of us.
SPEAKER_01: We've seen a display of how Jesus pursues us that reflects the love of God for us.
SPEAKER_01: And ours is to take in this love and say, who is my next victim?
SPEAKER_01: On whom shall I shower this love?
SPEAKER_01: Husbands, love your wives.
SPEAKER_01: Wives, see to it that you respect your husband.
SPEAKER_01: In so doing, you reflect the glory of the union of Christ and the church.
SPEAKER_01: Let me pray.
SPEAKER_01: Father, we thank you this morning.
SPEAKER_01: You are so good to us, you are so kind to us.
SPEAKER_01: You have loved us with an everlasting love.
SPEAKER_01: Redeemed us for yourself.
SPEAKER_01: You contend, Lord God, to cleanse us, to wash us, to purify us, and to present us to yourself wholly, blameless, and without spot.
SPEAKER_01: May we bask in the goodness of what you have done and continue to do in our lives through the work of the Lord Jesus.
SPEAKER_01: We lift before you those who are unmarried in our midst.
SPEAKER_01: Meet them, O Lord, at the point of their need.
SPEAKER_01: Fulfill them, Lord God, in you.
SPEAKER_01: Orient their affections towards you.
SPEAKER_01: And if you so wish, Lord God, set them up with the spouse of their lives that they too might be able to share in this work of reflecting your goodness to the world.
SPEAKER_01: And for those married amongst us, Lord God, we ask you, continue to draw, continue to work on us, continue to shower your love on us so that we continue to reflect you and marvel at the work you do in our lives.
SPEAKER_01: Those, Lord God, who are suffering the pain of broken marriage, Lord God, we pray that won't you reach to them, offer them your love, grace, and mercy.
SPEAKER_01: Shower them, Lord God, with your love that would secure them in you, fulfilling them, Lord God, such that they know that though relationships may fall apart, there is one relationship that stands forever, and that is our relationship with you.
SPEAKER_01: You are our beloved, and we are yours forever.
SPEAKER_01: In Jesus' name, Amen.