Why this journey feels so lonely...

One of the hardest parts of fertility struggles isn't always the appointments, treatments or waiting.

Sometimes it's the loneliness.

In this episode, we're talking about the invisible side of fertility struggles and why so many of us can feel alone, even when we're surrounded by people who care about us.

If you've ever felt misunderstood, isolated, or like nobody quite understands what you're carrying, this episode is for you.

If this episode resonated with you and you'd like a little extra support between episodes, you'll find my free fertility meditations and resources at https://thefertilitysanctuary.com/innersanctuarytw

And if you know someone who might need to hear this today, please feel free to share this episode with them.

Until next time, take care.

Transcript

0:01

Hi, and welcome to The Heart of Fertility. Today, I'd like to talk to you about something I think many of us silently carry through this journey, and that's loneliness. Not just physically being alone, but the kind of loneliness that can exist even when we're surrounded by people who love us. Because fertility struggles can feel incredibly isolating in ways that are often difficult to explain I think part of what makes it so hard is that so much of it happens internally and behind closed doors. Many people only see tiny pieces of what we're going through. They don't hear the thoughts constantly running through our minds, the dates we remember, the symptoms we analyze, the hope we're trying not to feel, the internal battles of the hope and heartbreak every month, and the fear that sits underneath everything that maybe it's not meant to be. They don't see the strength it takes to walk into work after your period starts, or to smile after yet another pregnancy announcement. The courage to attend a friend's baby shower while your heart is just breaking inside, and smile through conversations that leave you emotionally falling apart You try to hide it all. And sometimes even when people that genuinely care about us are surrounding us, it can still feel like we're completely alone. Because unless someone has lived it, they often don't realize how all-consuming living with infertility can become How it can affect the way we think, the way we plan our lives, our relationships, our confidence, our ability to relax, and even how safe we feel in our own future I remember there being moments during my own journey where I felt like I was watching life continue around me while I was being left behind, like I was behind some kind of glass wall and everyone else was able to just carry on, but I wasn't. Friends moving into new life chapters, pregnancy announcements seeming to appear everywhere, and people saying things they didn't realize hurt And after, after all of this, and underneath it all, there can be this growing feeling of why does everyone else seem to be able to get pregnant except me? That kind of emotional loneliness can be incredibly hard to deal with. You lose your sense of belonging in a life you thought you would never leave Especially because so many of us become so good at hiding it. We tell ourselves, "Other people have it worse. I should be grateful," or, "Maybe it's something I'm doing wrong." But meanwhile inside we're exhausted, and I think one of the hardest parts of this journey is that we can slowly start disconnecting from ourselves too. We stop doing things that once made us feel alive. We avoid situations that feel triggering, which can be anything and everywhere, especially with social media We shrink our worlds to protect our hearts. And after a while, life can start revolving entirely around trying to conceive, almost like we're waiting for our lives to begin again But your life still matters. Your wellbeing matters now more than ever. Not just when things finally work out, and not just when you reach the next milestone, but right now. And if you've been feeling alone in all of this, I really want you to know you are not strange for feeling that way. You're not overreacting, you're not failing, and you're certainly not alone in it. So many of us are carrying similar thoughts, fears, grief, and questions quietly behind closed doors. Which is exactly why spaces like this matter, because sometimes healing doesn't begin with fixing everything. Sometimes it begins when you finally feel seen and heard. So before we finish today I want you to just take a slow breath with me for a moment Let your shoulders drop away from your ears Release your jaw from clenching Let your tongue drop from the roof of your mouth. And if you'd like to, you can close your eyes and just breathe gently, slowly, deeply You can put your hand on your heart and remind yourself It's okay to find this journey hard I'm allowed to make time to care for myself right now. Thank you so much for spending this time with me today. If this episode has resonated with you, I'd love to know