Everyday Life:Conversations Over Coffee

The Tao of Chuck

Jen & Dagda Season 2 Episode 34

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0:00 | 57:54

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 Jen and Dagda honor Chuck Norris the only way that feels appropriate: with laughter, absurd one-liners, and a surprisingly thoughtful look at the principles that shaped his life. From his early years and military service to martial arts mastery, film/TV milestones, and even video game appearances, they trace the myth, the man, and the memes. The heart of the episode lands on Chuck’s personal “10 commandments” (his code of conduct) and what it means to live with purpose—then they close with a rapid-fire finale of classic Chuck Norris jokes and a warm goodbye.

When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off

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SPEAKER_04

Welcome to Everyday Life. Thank you for joining our podcast, Conversations Over Coffee. My name is Jen. And I'm Dagda. And we're gonna hit you with the explicit content warning right off the bat. This podcast does include adult situations and adult language from time to time.

SPEAKER_00

I'm an angel. I never fucking cuss.

SPEAKER_04

Okay. Anyways, you ready to go?

SPEAKER_00

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Alright, let's go. 1911. See, I'll give you Korean hearts. K-pop hearts.

SPEAKER_00

No.

SPEAKER_04

Don't you deny my K-pop hearts.

SPEAKER_00

I got your K-pop hearts right here.

SPEAKER_04

If I had some pointing nailing. What? You don't know how to do it. This is a bird. These are hearts. Bird hearts.

SPEAKER_00

And this is a violin.

SPEAKER_04

Playing my sadest song every dick. Well, I'd say, how are you today? But I can already guess you're feisty.

SPEAKER_00

I mean, I am always spicy.

SPEAKER_04

Feisty, not spicy.

SPEAKER_00

That too.

SPEAKER_04

I don't know why everybody thinks ginger is so hot because it's not. It's bland. It's flavorless.

SPEAKER_00

Ginger is also spicy.

SPEAKER_04

Not to me.

SPEAKER_00

You've not had enough of it in your mouth.

SPEAKER_04

Trust me, I've had plenty of ginger in my mouth.

SPEAKER_00

What about Marianne? You're rotten.

SPEAKER_04

Rotten, rotten, rotten. Okay. So actually, how are you doing today? I'm doing alright. How are you doing? I'm doing perfectly fine. We did have some sad news recently. Yep. Uh, so, and it's really it's so weird. But everybody in the world already knows that Chuck Norris passed away at 86 years old, nine days after his 86th birthday.

SPEAKER_01

I am Chuck fucking Norris. I spread more blood in gore than 40 score of your puny civil wars, bitch. Anyway. And what about the on the dick?

SPEAKER_00

No. Uh I have a black belt that I wear on the beard on my dick. That's right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

So here's the thing. Chuck Norris was a funny guy. He had a very set re you know, rules and regulations he created for himself. He created for his own um karate system. So what I thought was instead of being sad and forlorn about it, because 86 is nothing to sniff at. It's not 102, or 103, I should say. It's not 103 like his mother lived to be.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, damn.

Thank You Mr Norris

SPEAKER_04

His mother just died in 2024 at 103 years old. So it but 86 is nothing to nothing to sniff at. Uh, I I'll tell you the same thing I told somebody the other day. They said to me, How are you doing today, ma'am? And I said, You know, I'm doing all right. How are you doing? Well, it's been kind of a crappy day, and you know, I'm just I'm over it. I'm ready for this day to be over, and it's it's not a good day. I don't know how you can be positive. And I said, Because I woke up on this side of the dirt.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

And their response was like, Wait, what? And I said, So many people have never made it past 10 years, five years, 10 years, 15, 20, 30, 35. I said, there is somebody who's never gonna be living as old as you are. And he was like, Oh, that's a weird way to look at it. And I said, Really? Because I think it's the right way to look at it. Good days, bad days, blessed days, sad days. They all happen. Yeah, but if you look at it and go, okay, I'm on this side of the dirt, so it's an opportunity for a good day and great things to happen and to see people you love and care about again one more time, right? But bad days, they're gonna come with it. And it's like, but that's okay, because if I get to wake up on the dirt, other side of the dirt tomorrow, okay, I'll have lived my purpose. Yeah, but if I wake up on this side of the dirt tomorrow, then it's an opportunity for it to be a better day. A day to have, I don't know, maybe I'll start drinking soda again. No. Uh, maybe, oh, maybe I'll buy myself a Twix bar. Something that reminds me that I'm happy to be alive.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

You know, I'll so, anyways, um, so I figured with that in mind, because Chuck Norris liked to poke fun at himself quite a bit, I thought we'd do some basics about him. And then I have a special way we're gonna end it. How does that sound? Okay, because who doesn't love some Chuck Norris?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

I mean, they're their kids, kids today are gonna be scratching their head like millennials and uh what are the other ones?

SPEAKER_00

Zoomers.

SPEAKER_04

Zoomers. They're all gonna be scratching head going. Is that that guy from Texas? My grandparents used to wash yes, yes, it is. But before he was Walker Texas Ranger, he was something else.

SPEAKER_00

Bless my sons, Walker and Texas Ranger.

Gratitude Mindset

SPEAKER_04

That's right. And the colonel for this delicious, delicious dinner. All right, so you ready to go? Yep, here we go. So Chuck Norris was actually born Carlos Ray Norris, and he was born uh May 10th of 1940. He did not get known as Chuck Norris until he was in the Air Force in 1958. That's where he gained the nickname Chuck.

SPEAKER_00

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

He was named after his father's minister. His father was a World War II uh veteran, and his father's minister's name was Carlos Berry. So this total white guy uh was named. I was wondering why he had a Hispanic first name. Yes, and that's why, because his father so loved his minister. And and and it didn't say, you know, when I did the research, it didn't say if this was the minister he had um during World War II or if it's the minister that consoled him. Because his his dad was um had a lot of problems after coming back from the war, and his parents obviously got divorced, and his dad actually died fairly young. Um, you know, his his where was it? Um I have it in here somewhere. Um, right here. Uh sorry, right on there. His mother's name was Wilma Lee, and she lived from 1921 to 2024. She was 103 years old when she passed. So two years ago, his or year and a half ago, his mom died. His dad was only 53 years old, and he died in an accident. Um, but he wasn't doing so great, anyways. But here's the crazy thing: his mother's name was Wilma Lee, right? Okay, his dad's name was Ray D.

SPEAKER_02

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

Ray D. Norris. It's just weird that you have the the mom's middle name is Lee and the dad's is D. Lee D, L, and D. Anyways, it just it just struck me how how odd it was they had such a similar middle name. Uh, anyways, um, so he had uh he had died in 1971, and I believe that was from Otto Mudax. So Chuck Norris had two had two brothers. One brother he has, his name is Aaron. He is actually living, he actually did a lot of the stunts for the Chuck Norris movies in the 80s and 90s. He's been a stunt coordinator, he's been in uh some movies as a stunt coordinator and as a stunt man, and also he runs one of the or he was a teacher of the Chuck Norris system for martial arts.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, like his own offshoot of karate.

SPEAKER_04

Well, so yeah, I'll explain that about Chuck Norris in a second. But so but he had another brother, and he had a brother who uh so his brother Aaron is still living, who's currently still living.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_04

So Chuck Norris also had another brother, and his name was Wheeland, and he told Chuck uh when he was a teenager, he said, you know, I'm never gonna make it to C 30 years old. I'm never gonna make it to C 30 years old. And unfortunately, his brother went and served in Vietnam and did not make it to be 30 years old. He died shortly before his 30th birthday. So it but it was interesting, but it's one of those weird family things, just like his brother predicted his own death.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

So it was really crazy.

SPEAKER_00

I mean, there's a fair number of people who are like, I never expected to see 30. Um I've met a fair number of people that uh said that. Yeah. And a lot of them are like the ones that are like in their 40s plus are in really bad shape because, well, they expected to die early, so they were living hard.

The Origin Story: Carlos Ray Norris

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, I I know people who are in their 50s now, and they're just like, if I would have known I was gonna live past 30 years old, I would have taken better care of myself. But now I'm too old to take better care of myself. And I always think that's a funny thing to say because my response when somebody said that to me was, Well, I don't worry about being the slimmest or prettiest woman on the planet, but what I do worry about is having good mobility because I'd like to be able to wipe my own ass all the way up to the end.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

And that, you know, and that unfortunately happens, you know, where if you're not stretching routinely and doing physical motions routinely, and and that's it's one of the things I've loved about physical labor. Is it hard on your joints? Yes, but it helps continue your mobility until you take it one step too far, and I don't know, get frozen shoulder. So you need to practice wiping with both hands because frozen shoulder is a good chance of it locking up when you get older again. He's he's not happy with that.

SPEAKER_00

Um so the thing with uh it's too late. Uh you can always improve your fucking unless you're paralyzed or you got some congenital fucking disorder or something like that. Yeah. You can always improve your situation. Now, it is true that the younger you are when you get started on health improvement, the more effect it's gonna have.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Although arguably the greatest uh uh lever on that is your parents. Yeah. Um when when they conceive you that's the fucking arguably the biggest lever that there is on it. Yeah. Um but then from like from the time you're born until you're about five is a huge lever, like how how well you're how much nutrition you get, yeah, has a fucking huge effect. Um and then like after that, like exercise and diet and stuff has a really big lever.

SPEAKER_04

Well, a lot of people don't look at the under five age as an impressionable age, and it actually is because you can learn very bad habits. Yeah, kids under five, if they are seeing lazy parents doing nothing, yeah, they're gonna tend to follow in that footsteps. And so for me, I battle back and forth at that. My mother is not a lazy person. Hi, mommy. Hi, mommy, hi mommy. Mommy's not a lazy person. Mom is very, very active. But I have but my father was very um sedentary.

SPEAKER_00

Thank you.

SPEAKER_04

That word I can never say.

SPEAKER_00

When he when he wasn't actually working, he was like, I'm just gonna sit here.

A Family Tragedy

SPEAKER_04

Even when he was working, once he moved out of general production and moved into a management position, it literally was just him sitting at his desk or sitting on a forklift quite a little, bossing people around. And you know, there's genetically on his side, it is a predisposition for the, you know, when they say like, oh, you're born with the obese gene or you're not, it really is you are born with it. Yeah, and it is a true like scientific thing. And so he unfortunately was born with it. And even having gastric bypass surgery, he he hasn't been able to stay ever, he hasn't ever been under, I don't think he's been under 250 pounds in at least 60 years since he was a teenager, yeah. Like a young teenager, yeah. He's just always been a big guy. I've got a picture somewhere of his senior picture, and he's a solid at five five. He's a solid 25275. He's solid. Wow, he's solid. But he also played football, so it was a lot of muscle then. But when you're done with those athletics, you know, it'll convert wrong. But, anyways, but no more sad stuff. All the way back to happy. So Chuck Norris had a great family, he loved his family. He was married twice, he had five children, uh, one out of wedlock, one from an extramarital affair that he acknowledged, and he finally met her in 1990. Um, and so he had two boys.

SPEAKER_00

For a second there, I was like, wait, he finally went and met the mother.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, no, no, sorry, that sounded wrong.

SPEAKER_00

So it was just my brain.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, no, no, no. So he had two boys, uh, Mike and Aaron. Was it Mike and Aaron? Did he see? I'm jumping ahead of myself because I could I actually remembered something. He named one of his sons after his dead brother. His dead brother's name was Wheland.

SPEAKER_00

Ah, okay.

SPEAKER_04

Or Wyland. Okay. Yeah. But anyways, he had two boys. Uh, he had two boys from his first marriage, and then he had a fraternal twins, a boy and a girl, from his second marriage. And during his first marriage, when he was out filming in California, he actually had an extramarical fare. And he had a girl from all side, and he did get her pregnant, and he didn't know for a while. And but, anyways, he acknowledged her. They were all a family, and so he's got over 13 grandkids now. He's got 13 plus grandkids now. And it's so fucking crazy because you don't you don't think about the age of things, but when I was reading up about his kids to see like what one of them was an actor who's basically retired, okay, because he's he's in his 60s, yeah, and then the other one is a retired stock car racer. He's in his 60s, and I'm just like, wait, when did this shit happen? And then you go, Oh, yeah, Chuck Norris died at 86 years old.

SPEAKER_00

Did his racer son go the distance? I think he's gone went the distance. Did he go for speed? I think so. Was his wife all alone for a while, yeah. In her time of need.

SPEAKER_04

I think so because they didn't have kids for a while. You didn't think I was gonna go in the distance. You didn't think I was gonna know that, Jackass. Punk you just got punked. Anyway, so so what the family has released as of the recording date of this is he did have a medical emergency on Thursday. Um he was surrounded by his family and he passed away. Yeah. So my imagination, um, you know, I've heard some murmuries online that he had he'd found out he had cancer and this, that, and the other. You know what? First of all, I don't fucking care. I think he was a great humanitarian with what he did when, yes, was it wrong that he cheated on his wife when he was in his 20s? 100%, absolutely, right? But there are so much more to Chuck Morris than Norris than that three-month affair why he was filming, you know, he took care of his kids. He was honest with his wife about it. He took care of his kids off what he's supposed to do. Um, that's what he was supposed to do. But but he made sure all of his kids had the opportunity for education and advancements. So, you know, one he'd be my dad. Anyway, I was gonna say because he's not black enough, but I mean it is Chuck fucking Norris. He's everything. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Chuck Norris decided to have a fucking quadroon baby because he could.

SPEAKER_04

That's right.

SPEAKER_00

With a white woman, anyways.

SPEAKER_04

Um, so he was known for a lot of things. And oh man, was he known for a lot of different things? So there was a movie he was in. The very first movie he was in was in 1968, and he was an uncredited extra. So he was there. He was there, they just didn't have his name. They basically just like they do all the extras that they don't credit. They're like, here's your cash, get the fuck out, right? And it was called The Wrecking Crew, which I did not read up on because as soon as I saw the name, I just immediately started thinking of the Dick Jotes with Jason Momoa. Oh, the dick.

SPEAKER_00

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

Did you ever watch that on Altra Prime? Yeah. Okay, yeah. I immediately thought of that first scene and was just like, I don't even want to, just in case it is, I don't want to. Hello, Marina Bacharat. I don't care. I don't care. I didn't need to see 17 minutes of Dick Joke. Anyways, so in 1968, he was an uncredited extra in the movie The Wrecking Crew. Then his first movie that he was actually in, he wasn't obviously he wasn't a lead, but he was a supporting role where we the world really starts to see Chuck Norris is in 1972's Way of the Dragon with Bruce Lee.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Which coincides.

SPEAKER_00

I thought that was actually the first movie that he was in. But okay.

Mobility, Aging and Taking Care of Yourself

SPEAKER_04

Uh a lot of people do when you look at his like IMDB credits, it actually is the first movie he's credited with being in.

SPEAKER_02

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

But just being an extra, you know, obviously they know that because when you're in part of SAG and all of that, or just in general, you get a pay stub for that. That one day extra pay, yeah, extra pay as an extra. You know, you get those stubs and everything. So um, but it is Way of the Dragon is considered his first role as far as speaking and acting and not just walking by in the back of the scene, looking at the camera and walking away.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

So, anyways, but coincidentally, Way of the Dragon is also the highest grossing movie he's ever been in.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_04

Grossing$130 million worldwide. Adjust that for inflation, it's like$600 million now.

SPEAKER_00

I wonder how much money it made in China.

SPEAKER_04

I think it made most of his its money in Hong Kong. I don't know. In China.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, yeah. Well, at that point, Hong Kong was separate. But yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. Um, and then his first actual lead role, where he was the star of the movie, was the 1977 film, Don't Ask Me Exactly What It's About, but I imagine it's about semis because it's called Breaker Breaker. Uh Breaker Breaker. That's the name of it.

SPEAKER_00

I watched a bunch of trucker movies way back in the day.

SPEAKER_04

Hey, like Smoking the Bandit came out when we were like babes. Yeah. We were like babes, and everybody loved Jerry. What was his name? Jerry Lewis. Is that what his name was? Where he was just like, oh, breaker one nine, breaker one nine. We can smoke it. We got the bandit on our tail. Everybody loved him, you know, because he also sang uh some of the songs. Yeah, I don't think he sang Convoy, but um, but who didn't love that song? Because, you know, everybody sang it. I mean, I hate to say everybody at Daycare sang it, but uh, you know, what our parents watch influence us, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And so I I know that like for me, I remember rolling and fucking American Werewolf in London and Poseidon Adventure and uh Inferno and Turk 182. That's from the 80s. Shush. Um I was just calling out names, uh, the late 80s, even. Um The Lawrence Welk show. No, the uh what was the other one that scarred? Oh, Friday the 13th? Was that it?

SPEAKER_04

Halloween was in the 70s, Jason's was in the 80s, yeah. So yeah, uh Friday the 13th uh started in the 80s somewhere, mid to late 80s, but the Halloween franchise started in the 1970s. Jamie Lee Curtis screaming her full head off, running down the street, and then Bellbottom's, ah, ah, that woman might have a few more wrinkles, but she looked the same. She's still hot, yeah. She is. Have you seen the newest one with Jenna Ortega as her granddaughter?

SPEAKER_00

No, I've not seen those.

SPEAKER_04

I'll tell you what, I want her house. You need to watch it. It's fucking fantastic. It's better than Halloween H2O with uh LL Cool J. I've not seen that one, right? Well, it's pretty good. So here's so here's some other fun Chuck Norris facts. His top starring roles were Missing in Action, Delta Force, and Code of Silence. Of those, I think I seen a few minutes of uh Missing in Action.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I think I I'm pretty sure I watched Missing in Action. Um, I've seen parts of several different Delta Force movies. Um the ones I remember the most are like the one that the TV showed Walker Texas Rangers based off of. Um and then there was one where he was fighting kind of like Jason, that dude that's something along the lines of Jason.

SPEAKER_04

Uh I didn't look at every title name, but I do have the stats.

SPEAKER_00

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

So Chuck Norris in his career starred in 34 movies.

SPEAKER_00

Okay. So that's a lot, but it less than what I was thinking.

SPEAKER_04

So few movies for somebody as notorious as Chuck fucking Norris. Yeah. Most most of these guys that we know, like the Al Pacinos and the Robert Redfords, and uh who's who's the other one that everybody mistakes for Robert Redford, or not Robert Redford, Al Pacino all the time. The other one. Robert De Niro. Robert De Niro. All these guys, we're talking hundreds, hundreds of extras and movies and TV shows.

SPEAKER_00

Well, he was already famous before he became a movie star. So that is kind of Chuck Norris? Yeah. Do you know why? Because he was the kickboxing champion or whatever.

SPEAKER_04

That is correct. He was a martial arts champion.

Marriage, Family and Owning Up to Past Mistakes

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Um, and so that kind of got him boosted to the front. Of the line. And then if oh, we found out he can actually act. So well, you know, I'm not sure if that's what I would call it for the most part. Not in these movies. I mean, compared to most other actors that are in his same boat, he's definitely not at the bottom of the barrel.

SPEAKER_04

I mean, he's definitely no Stephen Segal.

SPEAKER_00

Big ups, Juck. I would even argue he's no fucking uh uh Jean-Claude Van Damme. I knew it was coming. No, I wasn't gonna say him. I actually love that dude. No, the Me too, Lionheart. Uh Tom Cruise.

unknown

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00

Anyways, we're gonna buy password on there. I would argue that he's at least as good as Tom Cruise.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. Well, I have some I have some interesting stats here. So he did 34 movies. He did only like 13, he only appeared in 13 shows. And in those 13 shows, he was also part of Walker Texas Ranger, was the biggest part of that. From 1993 to 2001, he did 196 episodes of Walker Texas Ranger. His first TV appearance was in 1970 in a TV show called Room 222, which was about an African-American history teacher. And they they just talked about history. And it was like it was a uh it was a drama comedy, it was a com drum, a drum com. To where like, and it was the premise was about talking about this history to make sure it doesn't repeat itself. And you have to think about the 1970s, how important that would have been when they were talking about slavery and Hitler and civil rights.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, because they had just gone through the civil rights rights movement.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, I mean, we're only six years past when you know, five years and six years respectively passed when uh King was killed and Kennedy was killed. Yeah, they were both assassinated by idiots.

SPEAKER_00

Like the last people to actually do something for minorities all got killed.

SPEAKER_04

Jesse Jackson is rolling over in his in his urn because he tried very hard for continuing civil right liberties and fairness for all. So be nice. Anyways, he did 13 different commercials, which I thought was it was here's the really bizarre thing. As I'm counting this stuff, I'm like, why is the number three so much there in his stuff? He was born in March, the third month of the year. He did 13 different TV shows and movies, TV shows, like made for TV movies, even a Walker Texas Rangers Christian special, right? So there's another three there. Then he did 13 commercial, there's another three there. Who's that for Total Jim? And he's been like, he was hawking like Omega 3 supplements. I mean, like three again. Um, so, anyways, but here's the cool thing. He also got credited. Sorry, for one song. And it's from the 1996 Waukes, Texas Ranger soundtrack, A Ranger Christmas. Can you guess the title of the song? Just because it's great. I'm Chuck fucking Norris. No, but it should have been. Eyes of the Ranger.

SPEAKER_00

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

I got the Eyes of the Ranger. I don't know. I didn't go listen to it.

SPEAKER_00

Eye of the Tiger.

TV and Movies: Bruce Lee to Walker,Texas Ranger

SPEAKER_04

It's not Eye of the Tiger, it's Eyes of the Ranger. And I just was this like, my brain went, What? And I thought it was great because that's the one thing that, like, all these little burbs about Chuck Norris, I heard is that he's really he really had a good sense of humor. He had a very good balance to his life between his family, his friends, his everything he did, um, he did with purpose. That was his whole thing. Is he his whole life? He did things with purpose. When he was a young kid, um, and because they were so poor and he was so downtrodden because of the abuse in the family from his dad being an alcoholic and everything. Um, he was terrifyingly shy. He didn't make any friends in high school, really, not in any school. He didn't really have any friends. He, you know, he didn't start becoming what he would feel was a better man until he joined the military and shipped out.

SPEAKER_00

Wow, okay.

SPEAKER_04

You know, so he was very much led a very um secluded life until he joined the military. And then when he was in the military and he went overseas, of course, he didn't really have you've got your brothers in arms, right? But somebody who was so shy and so uh, you know introverted, introverted, yeah. So he didn't start becoming known for the personality he was until he was stationed in South Korea and he started training. I know I I don't even want to try to say the name wrong because he started training in Tang Sudo. And once he started training in those martial arts and he started having confidence in himself, then he started to make friends. Hey, there's Chuck, and that's when he got his nickname and all that stuff. So there's something really great on this entertainment side of it, though. So hold on.

SPEAKER_02

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

So he had four video games out there. I did not know that. One was Chuck Norris Super Kicks 1984. It was licensed for his uh name and look for the covers and his likeness for his names. And then when they lost the license for it and it did not get renewed, which you know, video games once it drops out of popularity, yeah, they're not gonna pay it. Um, it got changed to Kung Fu Super Kicks. Some of it was named some some of the renaming was Kung Fu Super Kicks, and then other cartridges were named Super Kung Fu.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, right?

SPEAKER_04

Second video game, Chuck Norris, bring on the pain 2008, 44 years later, his second video comes out, right? And oh, here's a fun fact before I forget, geez Louise, about the very first game that we used as likeness and everything. It was oh my god, this is so old, this ages us. It was designed strictly for the Commodore 64, the Vic 20, the Atari 2600, and the ColecoVision.

SPEAKER_00

I remember the Atari 2600 because uh it kept remembering seeing commercials for it. It's the 2600 from Atari.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, yeah, and it was uh Coleco, the ColecoVision one was the only one where it actually had two cartridges depending on which side you wanted to. I read that the the ColecoVision had it had two cartridges depending on whether you wanted to be Chuck Norris or beat Chuck Norris. So, anyways, uh so but the second one, Chuck Norris Bring on the Pain 2008, was a mobile game done by a company called Game Loft.

SPEAKER_00

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

I never even heard of it, never even knew. Then, what's really great, I know this game. I've played this game a little bit. Excuse me, a little tiny bit, but it was a special that was on World of Tanks Holiday Ops. So it was a special mission in 2020, and it was available on PC Gaming, PlayStation, Xbox, um, and it was done by a company called Wargaming, which is really cool. I mean, they're still around, so right, and then the last, the last uh video game, Crime Boss, Rock A City, Rock A City 2023, that was designed for the Windows, the PS5, Xbox Series SX, and on Steam. And the greatest thing about this is that it was like there was a lot of celebrities playing a form of themselves in this video game. And it was not only was it the last video game that Chuck Norris appeared in, right? It was also the last video game that Michael Madsen appeared in, who, you know, which is really super crazy. So this guy is just so his life is so it's interesting because it started out as such a tragedy. A broken home, you know, not having much, and then when he was younger, you know, having a brother who died so young, who knew he was gonna die young, and all these things. So let's let's so we kind of look at a big picture, right? Now let's look at a little smaller picture because this is where it gets good. Chuck Norris started training in 1958 in the Air Force when he was stationed in South Korea. He started training in Tang Sudo. He loved it and became so proficient at it that he went on and he achieved black belts not just in Tang Sudo. He achieved black black belts in karate, taekwondo, judo, and Brazilian jujitsu. And he created his own discipline of martial arts.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, and it's called Chuck fucking Norris. You win just by saying it. Right, right.

SPEAKER_04

I'm having to keep a straight face to say this. Chuck Kukdo. Chuck Kukdo. C-H-U-K-K-U-K-D-O. Chuck Kukdo. He did his own system.

SPEAKER_00

That makes me think of Jeep Kondo.

The Rule of 3

SPEAKER_04

Um, I think so. I think it was because he also, you know, did some he did some training with Bruce Lee, obviously. Um, so I think maybe he did get some inspiration from that. Uh, it's it's really fascinating. But here is one of the greatest things that came from Chuck Norris. There's there's two super great things. This I I read through this as I wrote this down, um, because I, you know, we don't have the wind, the printer's not working. Sorry, not sorry. Um so the Chuck Norris, in order the Chuck Norris. In order, that's literally what it's called, the Chuck Norris system. And this is Chuck's personal code. This is his life code of conduct for himself. This is what he came up with when he was in the military and he was doing this training. This is how he evolved from the shy little introvert that nobody would talk to and nobody'd share lunch with and be friends with or give him the time of day to the strong influencer that we all look up to and we're just like, man, I'd love to be Chuck fucking Norris. Yeah. So it's Ten Commandments he set for himself. Okay. And in order to be part of Chuck Cook Do, in order to train with him, you also needed to follow his principles and rules. Fair. And I love it because what's interesting is I am not, when I was a kid, I wasn't a girly girl. I'm still not a girly girl. But I'm also like, if am I gonna watch Chuck Norris or Bruce Lee? I'm gonna watch Bruce Lee because I thought he was so handsome. Chuck Norris was a little I didn't like anybody with beards because my stepdad had a beard and my dad had a beard, and it was just like ugh.

SPEAKER_00

But he's a ranger.

SPEAKER_04

Chuck Norris is not a ranger, shush.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, he is.

SPEAKER_04

Look, he wasn't my cup of tea when I was a kid. So, but what I find fascinating is once every single thing on his list for his personal code of conduct, and don't be smirch if I because Chuck was fucking blonde. Stop.

SPEAKER_00

Anyway.

SPEAKER_04

Anyways, um, so much of it makes sense, and so much of it I actually do in my own personal life. And I was thinking about it as I'm reading it, and I'm going, I've been doing that like my whole fucking life.

SPEAKER_00

I'm sure there's a bunch of people that do, yeah.

SPEAKER_04

It's kind of crazy, and it's just like, am I like-minded like Chuck Norris? So then I got like really excited. I'm like, I'm honoring, and this is crazy, but because I do respect him as an actor, an entertainer, a philanthropist, and a and a humanist, I'm just like, oh, I have something in common with Chuck Norris that makes me feel good because he's so he was so well loved by so many people. Rule number one: I will develop myself to the maximum of my potential in all ways. And I think that is great because everybody should look at what do I think I'm capable of, and what am I really capable of? And I love that because it's a constant challenge to yourself.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_04

Okay. Number two, I will forget the mistakes of the past and press on to greater achievements.

SPEAKER_02

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

Everybody should be able to go, I've made a mistake, I'm gonna move on, I'm gonna do something better with myself. Yeah. So I think that's just freaking fantastic. Number three, I will continually work at developing love, happiness, and loyalty in my family. And I think that's so important because he created this rule system after his extramarital affair. Yeah. After his secret baby was born. And so the fact that he took the time to self-reflect and go, hold on, this is more important. Because him and his first wife are married for like 30 years. They were married for a very long time. And um, you know, so him having the ability to step back and go, or, or 20-something years, uh, go, whoa, you know, I made a mistake and I I can't do that again. I have to, I have to do better. I think that's fucking great. Okay. Um, four, I will look for the good in all people and make them feel worthwhile. That one actually struck home for me. And it actually, when I read it, kind of made me teary because I'm like, this ideology I have of treating humans, treating humans better. I'm I'm wondering if somehow, some way, that influenced me because I think everybody is worthy that doesn't abuse animals, children, and other other humans, you know. I mean, even you.

SPEAKER_00

I'm not exactly Chuck fucking Norris, but I'm not far off. Because I'm the golden child. And the golden child.

SPEAKER_04

If I if I have to hear you say I'm the golden child, I've heard that five times in the last three, four days.

SPEAKER_01

Have you met me?

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

God, this tag to dude is so full of himself. What a dick.

SPEAKER_04

Oh my god. I'm telling you. There is some woman going, you know, I was thinking about asking him out for coffee, but fuck that guy.

SPEAKER_01

Fuck that guy.

SPEAKER_04

Fuck that guy.

SPEAKER_01

Um, he's got a zero in his phone number. Fuck this guy.

SPEAKER_04

But it did, it did for me, it did touch my heart in a special place in a in the right way and not the wrong way. Stop. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I said, yeah, yeah, yeah.

From Shy Kid to Super Star

SPEAKER_04

Thank you for controlling yourself. I appreciate that so much. Um, but it was just like, because that is one of the things I love about doing what I do is because I have that ability. We've talked about this part. I have that ability to connect people on that level because we're all important. Even people who fuck up.

SPEAKER_00

I have the ability to connect with people with this level, that level, this level. Pow pow.

SPEAKER_01

If she was a man, I'd punch her right in the face.

SPEAKER_04

Anyway, I don't give a fuck who they are. I'll punch you right in the fucking cooter if you're an idiot. Anyways.

SPEAKER_00

That includes you, gentlemen.

SPEAKER_04

That's right. I'll hit you so hard in your cooter, your taint will go ew.

SPEAKER_00

Your man cooter. What the fuck?

SPEAKER_04

Anyways, um, okay, so five. If I have nothing good to say about a person, I will say nothing. Now, in that regard, I hold my tongue quite a bit. You have bore witness to that.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

More than anybody else in my life. But let me tell you what. Let me tell you something. Let me tell you something. I will sit there and I will say, I pray to Jesus, I don't lose control of my mouth because Lord knows I wanted to.

SPEAKER_00

Lord, give me patience because if you give me strength, I'm gonna need bail money.

SPEAKER_04

That is correct. I said that to somebody the other day. Somebody was acting the fool, and I'm just like, well, let's try for a better day another day, right? And they were just like looking at me. I'm like, listen, they're like, Are you okay? Are you okay having to deal with this? I'm like, I am totally fine. Because let me tell you something. I'm praying to Jesus right now because I don't have bail money saved yet. Facts. They're like, oh, I heard that. Um, so no, I and that's the thing. A lot of people don't understand. I will say nothing also means I'm not gonna respond to that behavior. Yeah, I'm going to look at you like you're the stupidest thing. Oh did did you are you a little turd that just dropped out of that dude's pants? You got cooties, go away. Anyways, six. I will, and this, I think this might be my favorite one. I don't know. It's pretty close. I will always be as enthusiastic about the success of others as I am about my own.

SPEAKER_00

That can be a hard one sometimes. And I'm not somebody who's like jealous of other people, but sometimes is like, really, you fucking why am I championing you you got that job and not me, really?

SPEAKER_04

Why are why why would I champion for you? But that's the thing. See, the thing is, is that's really crazy, is I think it's one of my favorites because everybody who's close to me in my life, even if they don't realize it, I'm fucking rooting for them. And I'm sitting there going, Okay, I know I really want this, but this person needs this just as much.

SPEAKER_00

You know, I just I remember one time one of my friends had failed at something, and he was fucking upset about it, and he's like, What do you think? I'm like, I don't care. And he got upset because he was thinking that I didn't care about him, but the reality was what I was saying is win or lose, I'm still your friend. I don't care.

SPEAKER_04

So I had to explain to somebody the other day what I mean when I say I don't care. And next to us, because we get it, sometimes it hurts, and I don't want to hear, I don't care. But the thing that I've learned over all of this eons of time with you, it's been like forever. Um, but what I've learned is I don't look, I understand your words when you say I don't care. Because for you, it's like, I don't care if you farted. I might not like you right now. I don't care if you farted, but we're still friends. Like, you know, I get it. But what I've learned with you, and I think other people could take a cue from you, is understanding to look at the facial expressions. Because I can look at you and I can tell when you're like, I don't care about that situation versus um I don't care about you right now because I'm mad. You know, like I can see the difference in your face. Yeah, um, and that's and that's the thing. I had to explain to somebody the other day, somebody was going on and on and on about something. I said, listen, I said, uh with all due respect, I don't care. A decision needs to be made, and then that's just what we need to do. I don't care. And I literally meant I don't care who makes the decision, make a smart choice. Let's all do the same, let's all do this smart choice based on the leader of the group and just get it fucking done.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, and I don't care if it's A or B, but one of those has to happen because both of them can't.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

One of those kind of situations.

SPEAKER_04

So one person who doesn't know me very well, one person went, that's right, sister. And I'm like, What? Another person was just like, How dare you not care? And then the other person's like, I totally agree. I I don't care how we get it done as long as we know what we're doing and we all do it consistently. Exactly.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

So I don't care, is not something that my partner likes to hear. And and I tell him all the time, you need to understand when I say I don't care, it's not gonna change how I feel about you. It's not gonna change how I looked at you. All that matters to me is that like I don't care if you only eat organic food. I don't care if you do this, that, or the other. Whatever makes you happy, I simply don't care as long as it's consensual between us and our relationship boundaries and you're not doing something to hurt yourself.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

I just I it it's funny because he's like, Well, you're not saying much. I don't have much to say.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

But what if you look at a broader picture of life like Chuck Norris did, what am I gonna say? Oh, okay, I'm mad today that you didn't buy me cheese puffs, okay. Because the bigger spectrum of life is there's somebody who's not getting a meal at all today.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

And I definitely can do without a few. So I I mean, just learning how to be able to have that clear definition of I don't care because none of that matters to how I feel as he's a person. Did you get that all straightened out with him?

SPEAKER_00

Oh, yeah, yeah. Did you have to slap him? Did you have to slap him? That was a long time ago.

SPEAKER_04

Uh I don't remember. Probably, knowing you, probably you're still raging when you were younger. Um, okay, seven, I will maintain an attitude of open mindedness. That's fantastic. I love that. Um, number eight, I will re I will maintain respect for those in authority. And demonstrate this respect at all times.

SPEAKER_02

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

I I understand it and I accept it. I struggle with it a little bit because I look at what just because they're an authority figure doesn't mean that they're wise or fucking benefic looking out for your best interests. Yeah, I mean they can be maleficent.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Not benevolent.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

And that's the thing, is that like I can and I can respect a lot of things and I will respect authority. But what I will not do is let authority do illegal things to me.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

I will never go quietly into the night. I will never lay gently down on a fight that's worth dying for. I I will pick my battles, I will pick my hills, and I will die on those hills.

SPEAKER_00

Well, also, sometimes you need to pick when you're gonna do your battle. Exactly. And a traffic stop is not one of those times.

SPEAKER_04

Exactly. Not worth it. Because guess what? You can go to court over it. Either way, you're probably getting the ticket, but it's not worth it.

SPEAKER_00

Court is where you fight the battle, not in the middle of the fucking street with the cops.

SPEAKER_04

Hey, man.

SPEAKER_00

Dumb asses.

SPEAKER_04

Exactly. Um, number nine, I will always remain loyal to my God, my country, my family, and my friends. And that was exactly the order he lived his life on where his loyalties lie. So you can tell the military did some real good for him.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Because it is for country and god or for god and country, depending on which branch you're in, I think.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, he wasn't even a Marine. Nope, he was Air Force. Yeah, the Marines are very and he was Air Force when it was first split, like first separated from the army.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. And then number 10.

SPEAKER_00

He was the space force of his generation. He really was.

The 10 Rules of Chuck

SPEAKER_04

Thank God he wasn't the space cadet of his generation. Um, okay, and number 10. I will remain highly goal-oriented throughout my life because that positive attitude helps my family, my country, and myself. And I so yeah, that's the other one I really love because um it's not always easy to be positive, but to have goals in mind, no matter how long they take to achieve, like, you know, we should have started podcasting 10 years ago. So we're kind of on the we're we're kind of like those mules that we're standing around eating the hay, going, gone, Betsy, why don't you go get that one? Nah, why don't you get them, Harold? We're we're gonna, you know, we're having fun. Uh, but yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I was actually kind of interested when you first started reading this list because I was thinking of uh Musashi. Um, because Musashi, Mayomato Musashi wrote the uh Book of Five Rings.

SPEAKER_04

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

And it was like rules for well, really anybody but martial it was specifically for martial artists. And then he also wrote another book. I think he wrote this other book before, and it was kind of like a set of commandments for martial artists. Well, it was essentially it was like a primer for studying under him in swordsmanship or whatever he was teaching. Um and it's very much like that, although it's more Chuck's rules are more in line with just good human.

SPEAKER_04

That is correct. That's like I said, he's a humanist.

SPEAKER_00

Uh, and not necessarily a good warrior. I mean, they're also good rules for a warrior, but they're more human than than like Musashi stuff.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, and and that's the whole thing, is that um, so Chuck's his his life code came from his experience in childhood in the military and in training with the disciplines of martial arts. And he had to sit there and look because you know, when you're doing many disciplines of many different martial arts, you're gonna get different influences. So he did have to make the decision. What does this mean to me? Yeah, and I think he did very well. And I thought it was really neat when I read that in order to like if you didn't follow those guidelines and principles, you were out of his school period. That's it. Because we don't have time for asshole humans, we have time for good humans. And even then, uh Chuck Norris gave us time to a lot of people. Super, super crazy. So let me see if there was one more thing I have. I have one more thing before I go into the fun stuff that I think Mr. Norris would have got a real fucking kick out of.

SPEAKER_02

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

Okay. So, uh oh. Who was it? Oh my god. Did I put it in the wrong page? Hold on. I'm almost there. You know what? We can just go straight to it. So, what is Chuck Norris known for?

SPEAKER_00

Karate.

SPEAKER_04

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00

And uh, well, andor kickboxing, I suppose.

SPEAKER_04

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

And then his fucking uh workout machines.

SPEAKER_04

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

The Total Gem.

SPEAKER_04

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

Although most people just know him as an action star.

SPEAKER_04

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00

So and then Texas Ranger.

SPEAKER_04

Right.

SPEAKER_00

Those are probably the four things that he's most well known for.

SPEAKER_04

Right now, what Chuck Norris is actually most well known for in the last 20 years is for the hyperbolic Chuck Norris memes about him. Oh, yeah, yeah. Which let me tell you what. I did not write down all of the top 500 of them, but I wrote down.

SPEAKER_00

I know there's at least two books of Chuck Norris jokes, basically.

SPEAKER_04

It's it's it's great. It's great. So Chuck Norris's his person one of his Chuck Norris's personal favorites was they wanted to put Chuck Norris on Mount Rushnore, Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't tough enough for his beard. Nice. He also had a great affinity for he he did a visit to Iraq and Afghanistan in the early 2000s. Okay. And he saw signs that said Chuck Norris was here, we can go home.

SPEAKER_02

That's awesome.

SPEAKER_04

That is really awesome. There are some really fucking good ones here. So um the very first Chuck Norris hyperbolic meme was. Chuck Norris has a polar bear rug at home. It's not dead, it's just afraid to move.

SPEAKER_00

Chuck Norris and Superman got in a fight. The loser had to wear his underwear on the outside.

SPEAKER_04

Chuck Norris loved these. And that's why I thought this would be the best way to go into the end of this episode is do some of these because he loved them. He encouraged them because they made people happy. And that's what Chuck Norris ultimately wanted to do. Chunk Norris. Chunk. Chuck Norris once threw a hand grenade and killed 50 people. Then the hand grenade exploded.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

When Chuck Norris goes swimming, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Chuck Norris.

SPEAKER_00

Yep. I don't go swimming. Water just wants to be around me.

SPEAKER_04

That's right. There once was a street named Chuck Norris, but the name was changed as nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives. I remember that too. I was like, oh, I think I heard that one in sixth grade. That's so great.

SPEAKER_00

They tried to make Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it didn't work. Chuck Norris doesn't take shit off of anybody.

SPEAKER_04

Oh yeah? Well, Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilets. He scares the shit out of them. This reminds me of you. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

SPEAKER_00

Monsters check under the bed for Chuck Norris.

SPEAKER_04

That's right. I mean they checked the closet and under the bed. That's the way I heard it when I was like 14. Chuck Norris won an arm wrestling tournament with both hands tied behind his back. Beneath Chuck Norris's beard is another fist.

SPEAKER_00

Yep, yep.

SPEAKER_04

And of course, when the boogeyman goes to bed at night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. Nice. The Swiss Army uses a Chuck Norris knife. The Chuck Norris knife.

SPEAKER_00

Nice. I remember working at my uncle's shop one day I came in and there was a Chuck Norris action figure. And I was like, holy shit. And then I found out that there was a Chuck Norris cartoon in the 80s and a comic that was attached to the comic or the cartoon. And then they made action figures.

SPEAKER_04

I believe the Chuck Norris cartoon has like one of those little lead-ins or had one of those little leaders like Chuck Norris says stay in school and do your job or some shit like that. He was like that literally the more you know kind of guy. Alright. Um ghosts tell Chuck Norris stories around the campfire.

SPEAKER_00

Yep, yep.

The Wrap Up

SPEAKER_04

The flu gets a Chuck Norris shot every year. Chuck Norris's social security number is the last nine digits of pie.

SPEAKER_00

Wow.

SPEAKER_04

You know somebody's gonna try to figure that one out.

SPEAKER_00

I mean they've been trying to figure it out for decades.

SPEAKER_04

For eons.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

There is no such thing as evolution. Only list of species Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Here's the funny thing about that. So there's a funny thing to this. Even though Chuck Norris found it hilarious, he laughed when he was told this one, he laughed and said, That's cool, but I'm a creationist.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Yeah, because he's a very he was a very devout evangelical Christian. Christian, yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, so that one was great. Dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way. Well, you know what happened then. Or what happened to them, or what else. How it turned out. In the beginning, there was nothing. Then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job. I love that. I think that's so great. Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter. Chuck Norris makes onions cry.

SPEAKER_00

Yep.

SPEAKER_04

Chuck Norris, he beat the sun in a staring contest.

SPEAKER_00

And that's why we have eclipses.

SPEAKER_04

Oh yeah? Well, Chuck Norris can divide by zero. Chuck Norris's diary? It's called the Guinness Book of World Records.

SPEAKER_00

Dear Diary.

SPEAKER_04

That's right. Chuck Norris can see John Cena.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

The son wears Chuck Norris glasses. Okay. And this one. This one actually made me cry, but it's really good. And so for all the good you did in life, thank you, Mr. Norris. When Chuck Norris walks into a room, he does not turn on a light. Chuck turns off the dark. Have a great day, you guys.

SPEAKER_00

Later.

SPEAKER_04

Bye.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, everybody. That's all the time we have for today. So I want to thank you for stopping by to enjoy the conversation. Uh, we're glad you're here, and please share and share again, and share some more. And if you haven't already, subscribe. We'll be having another chat and another cup soon. We'll talk to you then. Look forward to seeing you.