Thank You For Not Smoking

Jen celebrates nearly 18 months smoke-free while she and Dagda dive into smoking stories — from army cigarette runs to the influence of Grease on a generation of teenage girls. They share warm family memories, discuss why people start (and stop) smoking, and touch on AI real estate ads and the current housing market. Jen also officially announces the AfterDark break, shares surprising international listener stats, and opens up about a workplace confrontation that tested her positive management style — and how she came out the other side stronger.

#podcast #PNW #stopsmoking #choosepositive #choosebetter #criminalssuck

Artwork:toko

Transcript

Welcome

SPEAKER_00 0:26

Anyway, you ready to go? All right, let's go.

The Heat and The Bugs

SPEAKER_01 0:38

Like this feet is so crazy. I have so many spider bites I've got. And they're all under like they're all on like the sweet, soft spot of my back underneath my bra strap that protects me from everything. So all day long I feel like I'm doing the shoulder roll or grabbing my bra and shaking my boobies just to get the scraps to scratch my back. Wow. And I know they're spider bites because the one on my shoulder, the first one I got, it's it was it's actually like on the very bottom of my trapezius muscle. Uh that one I scratched and scratched and scratched, and it was really gross. And I could actually see the hole, it's disgusting. But I just uh you know pulled my bra strap over and sucked it up with a big girl. That's right. That's right. It's oh dude, at work everybody's getting bit.

SPEAKER_03 1:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:28

I got uh, and I don't even know if it's the spiders or if somehow mosquitoes got in the building because it was so hot one week that like all the bugs every time the door opened, they were like, Hey, we're coming to your club to party.

SPEAKER_02 1:42

I mean, they leave the back door open all the time.

SPEAKER_01 1:44

That's stupid. They're so dumb. I'm like, y'all are defeating the purpose of the AC being on.

SPEAKER_02 1:49

I mean, I don't think the AC goes into that air. I mean, I don't think there's vents in there that no, it's it's it's up in the front.

SPEAKER_01 1:57

But every time somebody and it kind of waifs over the wall, and every time somebody pushes open the uh double door that separates the floor from production, a whoosh of cool air comes in. Then the AC kicks on and it makes it cooler up front and whooshed again and whoosh again. But everybody's like, it's so hot, leave all the doors open. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 2:17

Anyways, babies.

SPEAKER_01 2:19

Just a bunch of babies.

SPEAKER_02 2:20

And then they go out there to smoke all three. I wish they'd all quit smoking, but I whatever, it's not my lungs anymore. It's not my paycheck going to fucking that habit.

SPEAKER_01 2:32

Seriously. You've seen that like I like I was tempted to dig into my storage and get my packs of cigarettes out that I never smoked and be like, who wants to do I was actually talking to one of the guys at work and I was like, Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:47

I wish when I was in the army, because I thought about it, but I never did it, uh-huh, that I had just gone around buying fucking cartons of cigarettes and fucking logs of dick. Yeah. Because whenever we'd have a training exercise, somebody would always forget it. Yep. And they'd be like, hey man, can I borrow, can I buy a cigarette?

SPEAKER_03 3:07

Yeah, five dollars.

SPEAKER_01 3:08

Right. Not for a thing you're evil, if you are terrible, but addicts will pay it. Yeah. Addicts will pay it. I I think the most I ever paid for a bumped cigarette was fifty cents. And then that's when I learned, uh you know, if I'm gonna be a smoker, I just need to have them on me at all times. So there were there was a couple of days where I got down to a cigarette or two before a payday, and it kind of started dawning on me that you know, it's really bad when you're smoking three packs a day. Yeah. But that was during my night, the the heyday of doing uh lawn care for a living. And sometimes I would have a lot of drive, especially when I was like down in uh Yelm and Olympia treating bigger properties, and you'd have a 20-minute drive between properties. It's like, what else are you gonna do? It's happening. Yeah. Now I'm like, when I think back

The Cigarette and The Quit

SPEAKER_01 4:00

on smoking, I'm like, I wonder if there's photographic evidence anywhere besides the one I have of me actually smoking. Because I'm like, I don't, it's weird. You know, I'm I'm oh I'm so close, I'm so close to 18 months not smoking. I am so close to it. It's like thank you, August 11th will be 18 months. And I'm so close, and I'm just like that. I'm starting to be at the point where I'm like, I don't even and this is true story, I don't even remember what it's like to smoke. But then when I think that, which I did on uh Sunday, uh when I was talking to one of my employees, who really she really should not smoke, her lips are constantly blue because she smokes. It's terrible. It's she's I don't want to say she's old, but she's getting up there. And I mean, she moves around still pretty good for her age, and you know, she's working full-time. Good for her. She works more than you know, half the people there. Yeah, but her lips are so blue from oxygen deprivation, I said, God, it hurt. So then what happens last night? I have a dream that I lit a cigarette and had a cigarette, and I could taste it in my mouth this morning, and I was like, oh, it's so gross. So I finally have been not smoking long enough that it's the idea of it's I can't stand the smell anymore.

SPEAKER_03 5:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:20

I I can't stand it when somebody walks somebody who walks down the street. If we've got our windows open, if they're smoking a cigarette, I'm like, go away.

SPEAKER_02 5:28

What about pipe or cigar?

SPEAKER_01 5:30

Uh I can't. I've never been able to tolerate a lot of cigar smoke. And pipe tobacco smoke, yeah, it's it's all the same for me now. It's like, nope, it it holds no. And I used to love like the cherry pipe tobacco smell.

SPEAKER_03 5:44

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:45

Uh, you know, God bless him, God rest his soul. John Eddie used to, John Eddie used to uh have his pipe, and he always had the cherry tobacco. And but yeah, uh no, I don't want to be around any of it. I I immediately feel my lungs getting tight, my throat getting tight, and I'm just like, anybody starts walking through the parking lot a parking lot like when we were helping our friend last year, and anybody would walk through the parking lot with a cigarette after I quit smoking. I like even if I sit there with the window down, I'd roll my window up and move my car. So I'm like, I just can't.

SPEAKER_02 6:22

Yeah, I still I still like the smell of pipe smoke and and cigar smoke. Cigarette smoke has never really bothered me.

SPEAKER_01 6:30

Well, you were inundated with it for 20 years.

SPEAKER_02 6:33

Yeah. And then also, like, so many people in the military smoked, and my grandparents smoked until I think I was in middle school when they stopped. They had smoked for like 30 some odd years or something. And they both quit. Did they cold turkey it? Yes. Good. The so it was them and one of one of my grandmother's sisters' husbands. Um they all had a bet who could do it. Who could do it, and basically because they had each other's support, was the reason they figured they succeeded at quitting.

SPEAKER_03 7:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:08

Whereas he was buying well, he was married, but his wife didn't smoke. So she wasn't going through it, and so couldn't support him in the same way that my grandmother could support my grandfather and vice versa. And so, yeah, he was kind of bad when he had to pay both of them 50 bucks each.

SPEAKER_01 7:25

Because he ended up smoking, yeah. It's it's it's a really interesting thing because you know uh when I was when I was younger, nobody that I lived with smoked. Only my one set of grandparents did. I my now m uh my mother, hi mommy. Hi mommy, hi mommy. Uh mommy says that her mom did smoke. And I do vaguely remember seeing her one time at the trash can with a cigarette, but I thought it was my grandfather, I thought she was holding it for my grandfather's. Yeah. Because he'd gone in the house to get some. I don't know. I think he'd gone in the house to me to go pee or something because she was out in the garage. He used to do woodworking and stuff out in the garage, like carving and all that. He was really good at it. Um, but I don't remember her ever, I don't remember ever seeing her smoke. Whereas my one grandmother, my dad's mom, uh, I remember seeing her have a cigarette and then having a coughing fit. And she smoked cools.

SPEAKER_03 8:24

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 8:25

I don't know if you remember that brand. Yeah. That's going back a few days. She smoked cools. That's all they smoked. That's all her and my grandfather smoked, was Cools because they smoked menthol. And uh then he had to have surgery and have part of his lungs removed. Um, but it wasn't from the cigarettes, it was from asbestos.

SPEAKER_03 8:43

Okay, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:44

Uh meth mesophilioma or whatever. Yeah. Um, which, you know, so he had that surgery. I think I was between eight and ten. And my my I just remember my grandma slowed down on her smoking, but my grandpa switched from smoking to uh tobacco. To dip? Yep, cop Copenhagen. And I still remember when I could finally climb back in my grandpa's lap. And you know, when you're eight, ten years old, it's probably not appropriate, but like I didn't I didn't see it that way. Like today's day, today's society, it'd be totally inappropriate. But when you know we were kids, it'd be cool to hang out with your grandpa or your grandma and like sit on grandpa's lap and ask him questions or whatever. But I can still remember the first time I got to hug him after a surgery and everything, and I got to sit in his lap, he had a tobacco drill on his chin, yeah, which is so funny. You know, it's so funny. All the little spittle. And I was just like, Grandpa, and he was just like, What? And I remember I grabbed I asked my grandma for a napkin, and she was like, Here, and my grandma licked the napkin. Well, first she crumpled it because my grandfather, the whole time he was married to my grandma, my dad's mom, my dad's parents, he

The Change and The Senses

SPEAKER_01 10:00

that man swears he never got a clean napkin in his life because my grandma would always wipe her hands on it and move it over to him. It's just a weird little thing between them. It was just a little weird thing between them. And after she passed, anytime I was there with him, I did the same thing. And if I was gonna be gone for a couple of days, I would take all the napkins and I would rub them. I would do a whole bunch of them and be like, okay, you're set until I get back. But, anyways, she licked the dirty napkin and I wiped his chin. But the smell, I still remember the smell, and I remember sitting there with my head on his chest, I could smell that even though it had been wiped off mostly. I mean, I was pretty little, so you know. But I can remember touching his hair, I said, Oh god, that's my favorite sensation in the whole world is the buzz cut hair. And I can just remember being so content and wishing I could stay little forever. But you know, but now I tell everybody that Lake smokes, I'm like, oh, quit smoking. And but they vape. Vaping is worse than smoking. Yeah. You know, and it's like they're all just like, oh, it's better than smoking. No, it's really not.

SPEAKER_03 11:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:08

It's it's insane. And I don't, I don't know. I don't even if we had an apocalypse, I don't think I would ever go back to smoking.

SPEAKER_02 11:16

I mean, we don't live in the south, so it's not gonna do you much good for very long. You you you get the habit just long enough to be pissed off because you can't find any more cigarettes.

SPEAKER_01 11:28

I know because we're in the Pacific Northwest, which is really odd because we have like a massive smoking community up here.

SPEAKER_03 11:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:33

And it's really odd because now that even when I smoked, I threw my cigarette butts into water bottles. I I think I think one time I had a cigarette butt go out the window and I felt so bad I pulled over and tried to find it. Like, who does that? But otherwise, I and you and you saw it in my car when I smoked, I had cigarette bottles. I did not believe in litter bugging it, I wasn't gonna do it. If I stomped it out on the street, I picked my butt up. I just couldn't stand that because I always thought I'm the one who's choosing to smoke, so why should other people have to deal with my litter?

SPEAKER_03 12:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:07

And that's apparently that's a novel concept. I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_02 12:12

One of my so my biological grandmother, grandma Mickey, her last husband, he told me a story of why he started smoking.

SPEAKER_03 12:22

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 12:23

And it's like the second dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard in my life. Oh God, tell tell tell. So he was in the army. Okay. And in the army you have to do this thing called police call.

SPEAKER_03 12:36

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 12:36

And it's basically just going around picking up trash. Um it's policing up the area.

SPEAKER_03 12:41

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 12:43

And anyway, he was always having to pick up cigarette butts and he didn't smoke. Uh-huh. And so he's like, fuck it. If I'm picking this shit up all the time, I might as well be smoking. So he started smoking because of that.

SPEAKER_01 12:54

Just to not get irritated because he had to police other people's cigarette butts.

SPEAKER_02 12:57

Yeah. Yeah, that stupid. That's almost as dumb as my friend who said, Well, the jocks were getting free passes through school, so I dropped out.

SPEAKER_03 13:08

What?

SPEAKER_02 13:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:09

I wanted to punch him in the face with holding him down and you can punch him repeatedly.

SPEAKER_02 13:14

I was like, what the fuck kind of retarded ass shit is this? This is like the dumbest thing I've ever heard and I'm actually fucking angry at it. Right. I didn't say that, but that's what I was thinking. I was like, what the fuck, dude? He dropped out because other people were getting preferential treatment, basically.

SPEAKER_01 13:31

Uh-huh. No, I got that, and I get that, but so drop out of high school and smoke cigarettes. That's what you need to do now, instead of getting educated and making more money than the idiots who are getting free passes and saying stupid. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 13:46

Yeah, because the smart thing to do is to give up.

SPEAKER_01 13:49

That's right. You give up on the wrong thing.

SPEAKER_03 13:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:54

Yeah. Like, I don't like that is stupid. Like, I know tons of people, you know, I I knew tons of people in school who smoked, and it's just like, because that was so cool. Because you gotta remember when we grew up, right? So Greece had been a thing in the in the 70s. The the movie had been, and all the girls in the 80s, once they were like in their beginning of their preteen and teen years, that finally got to see Greece for the first time on oh my god, Channel 11 KSPW, which was a Pierce County, uh, it was a Pierce County Seattle like TV station. And but the first time they showed it, it was just, you know, her her dressed in the hot leather pants and stomping her cigarette out in the gravel. It's like all the girls wanted to be like her. Everybody wanted to be Sandy. I mean, I'm like, and I knew at that age, I was like, that's never gonna happen because I'm never gonna be five foot seven. I'm never gonna be five eleven. I didn't ever think I'd make past 4'11, to be honest with you, but which is hilarious because the other day at work we were at work, one of the tallest people was just like, you're taller than this person and that person. I'm like, I'm like, yeah, this is our rank, we rank the managers all in height, and it really looked like a dab line, but I was dead center. I was like, yeah, I'm taller than the person I like the most by like a half inch. And I'm like, but we were doing this, they were like, Yeah, I'm gonna take my shoes off, I'm gonna be shorter than you, but none of us are as short as the one who's like 410, 410 if an inch. I swear to Jesus. But anyways, yeah, like the Panadon snow. Right. I'm like, oh my god. Uh, but I I just remember girls in school were like, I stole the Siggy from you know my uncle, and I'm just like, you know, I'd already been trying to smoke when I was a kid because I my my grandparents that I were the closest with were doing it, and I wanted to be like them. I wanted to be cool like them because you know, my grandpa was a carpenter and a farmer, you know, after he got out of the military, that's what he did is he did carpentry. He

The Family and The History

SPEAKER_01 16:00

worked, he worked on the uh Tacoma Narrows Bridge. He worked on that, he worked ironically, he worked at a ton of schools uh in Pierce County and you know, and carpentry work and all that. And then he also did some of the asbestos removal and how he got, you know, yeah. But uh, you know, it it's we have these pictures that you know we see through our history about the building of the Empire State and this, that, and the other. You've got the guys like sitting on the scaffold with their lunch boxes and they're all got a cigarette hanging out of their mouth, which the last time I actually saw a picture like that, you could see that the cigarettes have been digitally removed, which I think that's something they're more conscious of now. There's a lot of there's a lot of photo altering now.

SPEAKER_02 16:45

Yeah. Yeah, we got one photo in, it was really weird. It looked kind of like um, so it was like a picture of a cathedral.

SPEAKER_01 16:53

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 16:54

And you're looking at it from another high up, probably the top of another building.

SPEAKER_03 17:00

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 17:01

And it's like straight onto it, so the road goes straight towards it and then splits off to the sides, right?

SPEAKER_03 17:06

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 17:07

Um, and the road that you're looking down, there's a bunch of I don't know what the fuck they're supposed to be. There's because you can see cars on the road.

SPEAKER_03 17:15

Right.

SPEAKER_02 17:16

Um, and it's like sometime between like the 1940s and 60s, sometime in there, based on the car, what the cars look like. It's black and white. And then there's this several rows of these structures that look almost like from the perspective, they look almost like pews.

SPEAKER_03 17:36

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 17:37

Like it's a picture of a cathedral from inside of another one, but there's a road going down through the middle with fucking cars in there. I'm like, what the fuck is going on with this picture? It just looks weird.

SPEAKER_01 17:46

That sounds like a double exposure picture almost.

SPEAKER_02 17:48

Yeah. And it's like or it's like AI generated or something, or who knows? Yeah, right. It's hard to tell now.

SPEAKER_01 17:58

Yeah. But it's really hard to tell, like, you know, I I I there are things I actually do love about AI now. Uh, so yeah, I'm not I'm without his permission, I'm not gonna name him, but a local real estate guy has somebody who does these AI ads for him. And they're actually really cute, they're really funny, but they're also very factual. And I had made comment to you that I really like them. They're they're fun, they're informative, they're really great. The only the really the only complaint I have is they've got the eye color wrong because he I promise people he does not look that serious all the time. He smiles a lot, and I and I constantly recommend him to people because he is he will not he'll he will not dick you around, he'll tell you the truth. Yeah, and right now we're back into a buyer's market and a lot of people are panicking, you know, and it's just like, well, you know, it's probably gonna be a buyer's market for a little while. You know, it's it the cycle's a little bit faster than it was last time, but you know, we we have this fallout from COVID still six years later. Yeah, or I guess it was declared over like what three years ago, the pandemic was declared over in 2022 for sure, yeah, or whatever. But the reality is now you've got this thing where everybody is like, I don't want to work still, I want the government to give me free money. Yeah, listen, listen, go get a job, show up to the job you do have and just do your job. Yeah, you know, and and trust me, I get it because there's days I don't want to do it. There are days where I'm like, I don't want to drive 2.7 miles from my home to have to go put in 9,000 steps for the day and be smiling at people that I don't really care for and having to be the tough guy with you know other people.

SPEAKER_03 19:47

And I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 19:50

And I get job offers come through on my emails like so-and-so, through indeed, they've asked us to contact you. Are you interested? And I said, like, there's only one I would hold out for, but I'm holding out for when they don't make me work weekends. You know, like that's that's my thing. That's my caveat is the i if I change another job, it I don't no more, no more, no more, nope, no, no Sunday, Mondays, no weekends.

SPEAKER_02 20:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:18

No Saturday, Sunday Mondays, I should say.

SPEAKER_02 20:20

Yeah, that was probably the best thing about the um the shop. So well, the shop, and then also the um the last job interview that I had before I got this job. Um it was only Monday through Friday because that was only is open Monday through Friday. Yeah. And I was like, okay, that would be awesome. And also it was only part-time, but that was their starting because it was a delivery job, and their starting route is only five hours.

SPEAKER_01 20:54

Yeah. So which would have been great to get you acclimated back into working for somebody instead of kind of being thrown into the viper pit the way you were.

SPEAKER_03 21:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:02

But in the long run, seeing the support you're getting from the management team with when you have health stuff to take care of, yeah. You know, it's it's a big it's it's a trade-off.

SPEAKER_03 21:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:13

It's it really is, and it's uh, you know, and and you know, from what other you know, rumors through the grapevine, uh, everybody's kind of tugging for like your attention. You know what I mean? Like, this person wants you to do this, this person wants you to do that. So we'll see who wins in the end of it.

SPEAKER_02 21:31

Yeah. I told uh most of the people that work in my section that I might be leaving that section. And they're like, no, yeah, especially one of them, the one who works right next to me. He's like, he got mad.

SPEAKER_01 21:46

The reality is is we're all very good at something. Everybody in this world, we're all very good at something. And one thing that you're extremely good at is organized chaos, and organizing chaos.

The Influence and The Stupid

SPEAKER_01 22:00

And think about the last warehouse.

SPEAKER_03 22:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:02

I mean, you know, and think about the last building. I mean, it was just yeah, you're very good at it. But because you're like me in the sense of I don't want to just mass just do these mass turn and burns and get shit out that aren't right.

SPEAKER_03 22:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:19

Because then it's not a matter of second guessing yourself. It's obviously I I have been into your work and I've seen you work. It's not a matter of second guessing yourself. It's like you will question yourself when something's on that precipice of maybe yes, maybe no. And so, but otherwise, I see you putting out quality.

SPEAKER_02 22:39

Yeah. And that's just, I don't know. And I said it before and I'll say it again. I love finding stuff that's so good that we really shouldn't be selling it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:51

Yeah. It's like, hey man, do you think this is oh yeah, that's awesome.

SPEAKER_01 22:55

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And right? It's a it's a total victory, but it's uh it's one of those things where it's just like, I think the reality of what the company wants and the reality of what it should do makes unachievable goals. Because I will tell you this right now. I have seen some of the quality of the highest producers put out, and I'm like, You fucking put that out. I'm like, Why? Yeah, let's put another shit covered toilet seat out. You're just fucking smart. Yeah. Anyways, but uh I've just heard through the grapevine that there is there's a little bit of a a tug going on because one department's just like ooh, because they know you have a little experience with it, and then but you've got the actual person who is kind of coordinates your department who's going, no, this is what I want. So it's a little bit of a tug, it's a little bit of push-pull, and it's just like the only thing I know about the potential for what they want you to do is I think I think part of the job would drive you fucking nuts because nobody likes dealing with clothes.

SPEAKER_03 24:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:02

But it's but it's part of it, yeah. But it is it, but it it's interesting, and you know, so anyways, blah blah blah blah. So let's not talk about work right now. Because and it's and it's not so we just kind of announced over on After Dark, After Dark is going to have a vacation for a couple weeks to give us an opportunity to rest and reset. Um, especially me. And and I'm and I'm taking the full blame. I'm taking the full blame because I am uh I've been working five days a week and it I don't have time to do my research. I want to do. I'm not quite ready to share uh too many stories about Chuck yet. Um and also uh, you know, there's uh health stuff coming up.

SPEAKER_03 24:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:47

And uh and my and me personally, it it's like I'm overwhelmed. Um and I and I'm overwhelmed because it's not just the health stuff. There's you know private uh partner stuff, and so it's overwhelming. Yeah, and I'm just like, I want to, I love After Dark because we talk about subjects that a lot of people don't want to, they're they're kind of scared to talk about and they don't understand the history of it. And they're just like, oh, it's just always been. No, it hasn't. This is an evolution. How we look at sex, it is the same old, same old, but it's an evolution of how we look at it, right? Um, but I'm overwhelmed because I literally have three notepads sitting here, and there's like another nine right there, and they have nothing on them because I'm just burnt. Yeah, I'm just burnt. Not with COC, not with conversations. Conversations is fine because you literally, from the time you get here on Monday, we could just hit record and then at the end of the day decide what we wanted to do if we wanted. Yeah. Because it's so fun, you know what I mean? But after dark is a little more finesse uh in research and all of that. And it's just like there there are times where I do think, after dark, we should I should literally have stories to tell of news clips. And is is it is it is it fetish or fantasy? Like, did it really happen? Yeah, but I don't know. I I I play with things in my mind, anyways. So we just did that. Florida, Germany, or Japan. Japan. Hey, thank you for saying Japan. Japan, you guys came out of left field. Oh, hello. Japan is just out of left field, man. Oh yeah, they are consuming, they are uh, they are just I don't want to say hand over fist because that's just not right. They are consuming, yeah. It's like they're like three percent of our listener base right now. Oh wow, yeah. I'm like, what? Like, I love it. Domo Arikato, I appreciate it, I love it, but it just it it hit me from left field when I was because it's the first time because there's a lot of um listeners here locally in the Pacific Northwest, and Bellevue uh has been rocking the listens, and all of a sudden I was just looking at stats uh while you were on your little sabbatical, and I was just like, Japan just blew Bellevue out of the water, and Bellevue was like number two forever. Oh wow, and it's like now the things have changed. Number one is always gonna be number one, and we're not gonna just say that on air. We're just gonna leave it at that because I don't want to make no fights, but now we've got Virginia is up there, Japan, then Bellevue, then Seattle. That is crazy to me. Germany's up there, Brazil, Vietnam, they're all up there. And it and I find it interesting because I like I sit there and I think, did they really like that drinking game we caught? Because right now they'd be at four shots right now with this one, because of the way we balance. But, anyways, uh, but I don't really want to talk about work work because I'm afraid my tongue will slip about certain things um that we really honestly for privacy reasons can't discuss on air. But but I will say this. Um I know I'm not perfect, but I know every week I'm getting better

The AI and The Buyers Market

SPEAKER_01 28:00

and better at my job because employees have stopped going to certain people and have started coming to me because I don't, I don't look, my management style, and I learned this from Mama D. I want to accentuate the positive. We're gonna talk about the negative. Like this can't happen, but remember all these good things you did. I want to accentuate the positive and we want to get rid of the negative. We um I just don't want to be angry all the time anymore. I'm I'm angry enough with my with personal life stuff, with family stuff. You know what I mean? I don't want to, I don't want to be angry anymore. And it was interesting because I actually had two people over the weekend tell me, I like talking to you about stuff I'm frustrated about because you don't get mad at me. Why do I need to get mad? You made a mistake, there's been an error, you're owning up to it. I don't need to be mad. How can I help you figure out how to do it fucking better? That's my job. My job is to show you, hey, it's you know, I am not a little petite athletic person by any stretch of the imagination, but I'm getting up, I'm moving around, I'm doing my thing, I'm helping, I'm running back and forth. And my favorite thing lately to say is short legs travel slow. And and everybody's got a nice sense of humor about it, but I see my strides, I see my improvements. And it's like, and I'm never gonna be perfect until I learn all aspects of the job, which I just found out one of my co-managers is still learning all the aspects of the job. And I'm like, fuck, this is a steep learning curve. It's because they keep changing the rule of the game, yeah. Um, so, anyways, I don't want to let slip what doesn't need to slip, but what I can say is I'm learning my job better. I have good days, I have bad days. Every day, everybody does. What I do know from talking to your management team is they do wish one part of your job you did better, but I am online with you. I will take quality over quantity any day, and that does not seem to be their response. Yeah, and it's your co-workers adore you. I know I'm awful. Um, they they they actually really like how you leave every day because even if it's been a bad day, it's a positive way that you leave.

SPEAKER_02 30:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:14

Do you want to tell them how you leave work every day?

SPEAKER_02 30:16

I say, thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Good night.

unknown 30:18

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 30:19

So I walk out the door.

SPEAKER_01 30:20

Yeah, and everybody really loves that. Really loves that, especially the management team, other management, like the one person who wants to be hypercritical of everybody, even she really I just love that. That's what she says every time. I just love that.

SPEAKER_02 30:32

And the funny thing is, you know where I got that from? It's completely unrelated. Yeah. And it's kind of fucked up. So uh in the movie Dustill Dawn, there's the band.

unknown 30:43

Right.

SPEAKER_02 30:44

The vampire band.

SPEAKER_04 30:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 30:45

And when the characters get done killing all the vampires in the in the strip club, uh-huh, the band is still standing there because they were just standing there playing music. Uh-huh. Um, the lead singer says, Fuck you, ladies and gentlemen, good night, and explodes.

SPEAKER_01 31:03

Well, it it's it's it's I think it's a good thing. Uh, and it's and I think that is kind of like it's I don't know, good day, it's kind of leaves a positive feeling for people, but on a bad day, knowing where you get it from, I'm like, oh, you just left the tea bag on the floor. Sweet. Which is exactly what it is. Yeah. You know, and that and that's okay. But um, but you know, work is work. Uh, you know, we now uh we're gonna put the episode out. We'll put this episode out this Friday for the break for after dark, which is totally fine. Um, we got a lot of things going on and all of that, but you know, I'm the biggest stress relief I have, relief I have right now is one, we still get one day a week where we're doing this. We do have a couple of weeks where we're, you know, you know, there's gonna be at least one or two days in the next two months where we can't do our weekly thing like that. Yeah and that's gonna be okay because we have other shit to get done. It'll be all right, it'll be completely fine. Someday, yeah, right, before you get married, at least, right? Um, but we are we are uh we're definitely having a good time doing it. I do, but this is my biggest stress relief because um it's I don't have to sit here and think about um did I did I put enough product out to last for one more day? Did I treat each person I met, no matter how they treated me, did I treat them with the right respect so that karmically it doesn't come back on me? Because I I'm telling you, karma is fucking real. I and I I I can so the only thing I can say about work is this. I mean, like honestly. So about uh what a week, week and a half ago? I was telling you something like that. Like about a week, we yeah, but a little over a week ago, um, somebody came at me in a very verbal and completely untrue way and had a lot of shit they were running at me. And I sat there and I took it because, like, if that's if that's your quote truth, that's that's on you, that's not on me. Now, my boss, who only heard about a third of this whole conversation, um, were just like, I don't know, any problems, I'm happy with her. Oh, what the fuck, your problem is basically.

SPEAKER_03 33:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:11

So my boss actually did have a conversation with her because she did hear the part where this person had said, it's a personal issue for me because I don't like your positive personality. Now, people who've been listening to this podcast long enough, they know I struggle with my mental health and my mental well-being a lot because of what I experienced in my last year as a mover and um all of that and my other prior history. But they understand I struggle with it because um nobody's a bigger critic than me, of myself.

SPEAKER_03 33:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:48

You know, I'm not I'm too big, I'm not big enough. I'm you know, like with positive attitude and energy, and I'm not thin enough, and I'm not pretty enough. Well, fuck you guys. I'm trust me, I'm pretty enough. You've never seen my eyes, you just don't know. Um, and I hear that daily from customers, they're like, oh my god, you have the most unique. We really do. Yeah, you've got the gray hazel end of it, and I've got the green and blue hazel end of it. And it's it's fucking trippy when we're on fire because it's like we're um so she came at me, and you know, and I just took it because I was just like, I'm not going to, I mean, it was really close. I'm not gonna lie. My mental health was very bad. I talked to you about it, thank God. Um, but I was still wanting to catch the charge. I'm not even lying. Um, so I had to talk to a secondary person about it, and it's kind of funny because um the next day I'd said to the individual, thank you for taking the time to listen to me because I had to get it out because it was just this massive poison that was killing me because I know that this isn't true. I know this isn't true, and they confirmed to me. And I was like, now tell me you love me and tell me I'm pretty. And she goes, I don't have enough time in the day to tell you how pretty and how much I love you. My heart melted. And it was funny because the other day she walked in, she goes, buy me books and tell me I'm pretty. I said, I can't buy you books for at work, but you're so pretty. But having somebody else go, No, they're wrong. And I don't know how, like they told me, I would have got up and slap your face. But it was that it was it's that precipice we all get where it's like, are you going to react in the way they're trying to get you to react to get their way, or are you gonna hold your integrity and hold your ground? I held my integrity and held my ground. So my boss actually talked to her and was just like, I can't tell you what I said, but I will tell you this. She is wrong. She knew she was wrong. And it all came from this personal issue she had, and she has a trigger point that apparently myself and one of my other co-managers had hit. Now I want people to hear this really clearly. There is a huge difference when somebody says, I appreciate your apology, and I accept your apology. I'm not that dumb bitch. So three times I said to her, I appreciate your apology when she came to me. And I discussed this with my boss in the aftermath of it because my boss was just like, Holy crap, you're hugging. I'm not, even when I'm mad, I'm not this inhuman person. I feel bad when people that I know are struggling with their mental health and with their physical well-being. My heart goes out because I understand it. So I had the discussion with my boss after the fact, and she asked me how I felt. And I said, Listen, it was cruel and meaningless. There was there was no point to it. It was cruel. It was beyond, it was beyond ugly. And I think I reiterated three times, three or four times, that it was ugly and cruel and unnecessary. Yeah. Ugly, cruel, and unnecessary. Didn't have to speak to me that way. It instead of sitting there, because the whole attack was about me personally, as in you can't be this nice. You can't get anywhere with employees if you're fucking nice. You gotta be mean and you gotta be hard and you gotta be at them. And you know, only stupid people are nice. You have to show them your authority. And I don't like your personality because you're always positive, you're always smiling. Why the fuck are you doing that? Just this whole nasty vomit of yuck. So I pointed out to my boss, I said, I want you to listen to me really clearly. I said, I appreciate their apology. And my boss was like, That's cool. And I said, Did you hear what I said? She goes, say it again. And I said, I appreciate your apology. She was just like, That's good, right? And I said, I never accepted an apology. Her eyes got about as big as half dollar plates. And I said, Listen, I don't have to accept the I don't have to accept the apology, but I appreciate that in a room full of people, she came to me and said, I apologize for my behavior. I was wrong. You have done nothing against me, it's a personal issue, and this is why. Did I like her excuse? No. I'm like, you know, I mean, go fuck yourself if that's your problem. I mean, gone. Um, but it was funny because my boss and I, when we're talking, my boss had actually issued me an apology right behind because I was right about something and she was wrong. I was like, fuck, I died. I've because my boss, my boss is like, I admit when I'm wrong on the rare occasion I'm wrong. I'm like, okay, because she was wrong before and she would not admit to it. We're all we're all sitting there going, Yes, you said this. You were on speakerphone, three of us heard you say this. Oh, I must I I must have had a drink or something. You did. Jesus. But I said, Do you see how I talked to you where I told you, wow, redacted? I I really appreciate that. And I I accept I was right, but I I accept the apologists. Great. It's like, do you see the difference? And she was like, Oh, so do I have to worry? No, you don't have to worry. I'm not a patty penny man. I just write it down in a little book and say, fuck you. So, anyways. Um, so now that we're past that, it's it's it's really interesting because I wish nothing but the best for everybody. Sometimes I wish they would run their foot over with a Z RAC because if you've ever done that, it's one of the most painful things ever. I ran I ran a full Z RAC, which weighs about 200 pounds over my big toe.

SPEAKER_02 39:09

I was gonna say those things gotta be heavy even without stuff on them.

SPEAKER_01 39:12

They're not that heavy, they're about 20 pounds without stuff on them. Really? Maybe 25. It's just the base is very heavy. But when you add clothes, those wheels are like claw hammer coming at you. Um, so, anyways, it's just been weird. It's just been weird since because I just she got to live rent-free in my head for one day. And it was so funny because I was thinking about conversations we've had about people not living rent-free in my head.

SPEAKER_03 39:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:36

And I it and you know, and I've been able to keep a lot of it out, but it was just so personal and cruel. I've never in my in my quote professional life, I've never had anybody say doing things with a smile and fair attitude is bad. I've never had anybody tell me I'm a fucking idiot for deciding that

The Work and The Drama

SPEAKER_01 40:00

even if I'm mad, I'm not gonna be that one that's gonna yell and scream and embarrass you. I'm gonna give you the opportunity to do the right thing. And if you want to keep pressing it, then we'll go from there.

SPEAKER_03 40:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:09

And it just, it just ate at me. It it was rough. But we're past that because I just I don't, I don't care. I wish I wish them well. I hope they're okay, I hope, you know, all that. But it's kind of interesting because they started no, like I said, all of a sudden, people started coming to me.

SPEAKER_03 40:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:27

And it was just like, and one person in particular who we have, they have, I swear to god, they have explosive anger issues. Um I can say the same thing as this other person, and he takes it extremely well. And he's very calm, and he's just like, Oh, I can get that. Yeah, when you explain it like that, I totally get it. The other person can say the exact same thing, and it's fuck you, go to hell, kiss my ass, whatever, fire me, I don't care.

SPEAKER_02 40:54

Yeah. I mean, it's uh one of those things where you're like far more likely to believe somebody that you like than somebody that you don't like. So you see this in like politicians or politics all the time, where somebody that is uh one party line hears somebody of the other party say something that's completely reasonable and they get mad about it and they're like, this is retarded. If they heard it from their party though, they'd be like, Yeah, I I totally agree with that. Um so it's one of those things where our brain is kind of predisposed to a certain reaction based on the messenger.

SPEAKER_01 41:37

Yeah. So and that, and that was my point to them was I was like, you and I can say the exact same thing, but guess what? They're screaming at you, calling you anything but human. And literally, I had a conversation with this individual on Sunday, and I'm just like, you know, hey, I'm just asking everybody to have a little bit of patience. I'm learning this new system, you know, it's new to all of us, and you know, it there's gonna be days where like maybe it looks a little untidy or cluttered uh back in your work area, and I'm really sorry about that. But it's gonna happen until we get this new you know system down and we get all the pieces put together. And it was just like, yeah, I totally get it. But the other person had the same message, but their message was mind your business, do your job, it's no concern of yours.

SPEAKER_02 42:21

Yeah, it's also how you deliver it. Yeah, uh because that can make a huge difference, obviously. But like I said, uh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 42:30

I had a shoplifter come in two days in a row, and the second day, one of my cashiers who I have a love-hate thing with him, and it's and it's it's just because he anyways, and so the shoplifter he caught this, he saw the shoplifter coming back in the shop after I was just like, come on, and he called me and I went and I took the I said, let's go have a conversation. I actually took him outside this door because I didn't know how he's gonna react, and I used this tone to talk to him and I said, Look, these are the facts you shoplifted yesterday, you left out the door, I came out, I told you you are verbally, no trespass from this property, do not return. I said, You acknowledged it and you said, Okay, and you kept going over that direction. I said, today you did it again. And he tried to say, Oh, this bullshit didn't happen today. What he doesn't know is I actually had a customer as a witness to what actually happened. And I took so I three times I told him, you can take the verbal trespass and leave, or I can just call the police and get them involved right now. That is your choice. I'm giving you an opportunity to not get your warrants called out, basically. And it was funny because he kind of hemmed and hawed a little bit, and and I said, Look, I was just like, This is the last time I'm gonna give you your choice. You are verbally no trespass from the property for the fourth time, because I'd done it the day before. Four times I've told you, I've asked you to leave. If you don't want to leave, that's on you. I'm just gonna call this police department and I'm gonna have them come out here and have to deal with. You because you're not gonna stand here and make a scene. I've been really respectful. I was like, and you're getting agitated at me, even though I didn't do this in front of everybody in the store. For as far as anybody knows, we're just having a regular conversation. I'm a hand talker, nobody can tell that I'm a hand talker. And I said, So I'm gonna go back in. You cannot come in, and you need to make your choice because if I need to call the police, I'm just I'm gonna go do that right now, okay? He paces back and forth as I hit the door and he's just like, Okay, well, thank you, and leaves peaceably. I was laughing so high pitched by the time I walked through the door, my cast here comes over and he's like, Are you okay? I'm like, I'm fine. Why? I didn't know if you were screaming. I said, No, I was cackling. And it wasn't like a cackle, it just took me, it just took me so off guard because as I walked through, he was just like, Thank you. He thanked me for giving him him the opportunity to leave without having to be able to police. And I'm just like, and so I'm telling this story to this individual I've had this problem with. And I was just like, look, you might not agree with it, but the guy's now been gone for like two days.

SPEAKER_03 45:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 45:01

And I said, you know, I said, I want you to think about periods of time in your life where you've made bad choices. And wouldn't you have loved it if somebody would have talked to you like an adult reasonably and given you an option to make better choices? And and that's what I do. But I don't, it sure would be nice. My best friend worked around me a little bit more, but whatever.

SPEAKER_02 45:26

I actually had a conversation, I think it was a few weeks ago, because the one of my coworkers ended up riding a bus with me.

SPEAKER_03 45:33

Oh, neat.

SPEAKER_02 45:34

And uh um when I got off the bus, I said thank you, because I always say thank you to the bus driver.

SPEAKER_03 45:42

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 45:43

And he was asking me a couple days later when he saw me, he's like, So what's up with you thanking the bus driver? And I'm like, eh, it's no big deal. A little a little bit of kindness goes a long way. A lot of the time when the bus drivers get used to me riding their bus, um they'll tend to go out of their way to look for me.

SPEAKER_03 46:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 46:03

So like I've had bus drivers pass me by and then realize that across the street.

SPEAKER_03 46:10

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 46:11

And let me run over there, where normally they'll just be like, You're not at the bus stop, but do you Yeah. Uh yeah, there was one bus driver who would constantly stop and wait for me. Yeah. Because the particular buses almost never actually lined up, even though they were supposed to.

SPEAKER_03 46:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 46:28

And so I was going one way, the bus was coming from the other direction, and I had to catch that one to get to where I was going, and they would pull over and wait after the bus stop that they were actually supposed to catch me at. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 46:40

You know, and it's and I and I'm so glad you said it that way, because it's the same thing that I said several times over. A little carn kindness will garner you better results than screaming. Because what happens? Because we have a lot of people at my shop, we have a lot of people who have a lot of mental health issues, and there's

The Choice of Positive

SPEAKER_01 47:00

a lot of PTSD that goes around and it's been going around because they're from all these different backgrounds. Some are developmentally disabled, some of them are emotionally disabled, some of them are just dicks. But even the ones that are just like the one who I think is the biggest dick of all, you know, he thinks he's a boss, but he's not. And you know, it took a couple months, but one day he looks at me when I hadn't said anything to him and he was just like, What's going on with you? I said, You made it, you made it clear that you don't want my kindness. I was like, So uh uh you you didn't want me checking in on you, you didn't want me talking in. So uh, you know, I was just like, and I don't need to unless I have instructions to give you, right? He's like, Well, well, yeah, but don't you want to know how I'm doing today? No. You made it really clear the last time I asked you at the end of your week last week that it was pretty much none of my fucking business. So, yeah, I'm good. I'm like, trust me, you know, I don't have to talk to you. All I have to do is make sure you're doing your job. And if you're not doing your job, then work with you to make sure you're doing your job, right? Okay, now he can't get enough of me. Now he's just like, hey, and it's funny because all of these people who've been really dicky about some stuff, I'm just like, I don't, I don't need it. Now all of a sudden they've been seeing how I treat everybody, like really when you're not in the thick of it and you're just an observer, you actually get to see the behavior. And it's funny because it's kind of like knock on wood, it's kind of like the kids are like, hey, I uh I wanna I want to play in that game of Hot Scots, I want to play in that game of wall ball. Everybody else is over there passing the ball around and having a good time and laughing, and then I'm over here by myself. And because there's like three of them in particular, and and the last one that I thought would never start changing their attitude started changing their attitude the other day. And I was just like, uh-huh, because they're like seeing that I'm not that one that's gonna be on screen, and I don't have to. I'm gonna present it to you in a logical form.

SPEAKER_03 48:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 48:53

This and and I can give the best example because I know we got to wrap up soon in a minute because we've got appointments and stuff to go to. But so I have an employee, laziest employee on the planet I've ever met in my whole fucking life. Okay, or second laziest, because there was somebody who worked at the shop who was calling me at 10 o'clock at night to clean the bathroom. Fuck off. Um, this individual, laziest employee in the entire company, or second laziest in the in in in the entire building. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 49:21

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 49:22

And um I'd I do the same thing. We're a team. This is how we're doing it. This is what the team needs to accomplish today. So this is what I we have these 10 things. I'm going to start these five. You two individuals need to start these three over the course of the next year. And the last two all do together. Well, they decided not to do that. They literally decided to stand around and do nothing but um adjust their pants in the front and the back. And it caused the other person who was working that night to go from their normal productive self to like they couldn't take it anymore. It was just that thing. And I said to them, I said, What the hell are you guys doing? You guys can't just be standing road. We are so we gotta stay busy. We need to get this done. Remember, the big boss is opening tomorrow. We need to work as this teammate. I said, I've done my part. I've been doing my part. I said, I accomplished all five of these tasks and I actually stopped started on the last two. It's defeating for me to see you not doing your part. I'm not doing your job for you. It is actually on your job list to do that.

SPEAKER_03 50:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 50:29

What did I say earlier today? We have to work as a team. We're shorthanded. How do we work as a team? These are our 10 tasks to achieve. I'm gonna start with these five. I said, I already got through them, and I'm already on the last two. And you guys are still struggling with the middle three. No reason for it. I said, I said, I'm here. Yes, I get it. I'm the quote boss, whatever. I said, but I'm here to be your teammate. I'm here to work with you as a team to get this done. Do not defeat me. Because if I have to do it all myself, I want a different team. And I like this team. That was three weeks ago. Two weeks ago, it was like half and half. This last weekend, they were on it. They understood. Because me and my favorite person to work with, my favorite co-manager to work with, we were just like literally looked at this individual and said, These are your tasks tonight. And then we're all doing this at the end. Get your task done. We know you can do it. And I said, I have faith you can do it. Get it done. And we didn't say another word. Well, they saw the person they were working with, who was the same individual as the three weeks before or the two weeks before, they saw them and they saw, oh, they got through all their tasks, and now they're actually able to help with the fun. So I don't know why they think setting up displays is the fun stuff because it's the stressful stuff to me.

SPEAKER_02 51:46

Yeah. I mean, it's something different that you don't do every day.

SPEAKER_01 51:49

That's probably why maybe that's what it is. And so by the time we got through the third day this week, they were just like, What are my tasks? Where can I start? Nice. And that's

Until Next Time!

SPEAKER_01 52:00

I feel that that's how we approach stuff.

SPEAKER_03 52:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 52:03

But I'll tell you what, for a while there, I did almost start smoking again. Because I was just like, this shit's driving me crazy. But I'm trying to encourage everybody to stop smoking. Because just because you stop smoking doesn't mean you don't get your break.

SPEAKER_03 52:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 52:15

I have to smoke so I can have a break. No, you don't. You get your break.

SPEAKER_03 52:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 52:18

Take a break. I mean, I have told people, go on your break, get out of my face. We have we have a a couple of non-smokers there. I think we might be like 50-50 at this point now. Yeah, maybe. And uh, but one of my cashiers is a non-smoker. Or I I have one, two that are non-smokers and three that are smokers. And the non-smoker was just like, it's just easier if I no, stop. The whole point is for you to take a mental break because trust me, people come in retail, people coming in and over and over gets you. So now she's just like, but I don't smoke. I don't give a fuck. Go take a break. Take a glass of water, go call your mom. I don't care, do whatever. Take a break, walk away, rest and reset. That's the whole point of the break. Yeah. So my mental health is still struggling, but it'll get better.

SPEAKER_03 53:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 53:07

I get to talk to you. This is fun. After dark does need to have a pause. Um, and yeah, don't smoke. Thank you for not smoking. Yeah. And thank you to you personally. Thank you for not trying to beat me over the head with a stick to stop smoking. Because when I was ready, I was ready. When I got the right encouragement, I was ready. But you've been nothing but supportive since about me stopping. Like you've never judged me once, but I'm like, I think I might have a cigarette. And you're like, you've been very fair about it. And you're like, well, if that's what you think you have to do. And I always feel like it's this like weird mind fuck, right? So I'm like, wait a minute, aren't you supposed to say don't do it? But I love the way you present it because it's like, think about whether you need to do this or not and make a decision from there. I love it. Anyways, ladies and gentlemen, thank you for not smoking and have a good night.

SPEAKER_02 53:57

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Good night. See you later.

SPEAKER_01 54:00

Bye. Okay, everybody. That's all the time we have for today. So I want to thank you for stopping by to enjoy the conversation. Uh, we're glad you're here and please share and share again and share some more. And if you haven't already, subscribe. We'll be having another chat and another activity. Look forward to seeing the first time.