.png)
The Jordan Reynolds Show: Rewrite The Rules
If you’ve ever found yourself thinking, “Is this really it?” — this show is for you.
Welcome to Rewrite the Rules, the podcast for women who are done living by someone else’s definition of success.
Hosted by Jordan Reynolds — entrepreneur, health coach, and world traveler — this show dives deep into what it really takes to build a life that feels like yours. You’ll hear honest solo episodes, behind-the-scenes stories, and bold conversations with women who chose to rewrite their own rules — in business, health, mindset, identity, and more.
This isn’t about perfection, hustle, or settling.
It’s about trusting yourself, making bold moves, and building the kind of freedom you actually want.
New episodes drop every Tuesday.
It’s your life. Rewrite the rules.
The Jordan Reynolds Show: Rewrite The Rules
S2 E3: How to Rebuild Your Confidence and Create a Life You Love with Yolie Kernes
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Welcome back to Rewrite the Rules!
In this episode, I'm sitting down with my longtime friend, Yolie Kernes, for an honest conversation about what it really looks like to start over.
After a 32-year marriage ended and she made a major career change at the same time, Yolie found herself rebuilding nearly every part of her life. Instead of letting fear keep her stuck, she chose to create a future that aligned with who she truly wanted to become.
We talk about rebuilding confidence, letting go of self-sabotage, creating a life with intention, and why it's never too late to rewrite your story. Whether you're navigating a career pivot, divorce, a new season of life, or simply feeling like you're meant for more, I think this conversation will encourage you to take the next step.
In this episode, we cover:
• How Yolie navigated one of the biggest transitions of her life
• Why confidence is built through keeping promises to yourself
• The mindset shifts that helped her stop self-sabotaging
• Creating a life filled with purpose instead of fear
• Why it's never too late to reinvent yourself
If this episode encouraged you, I'd love for you to share it with someone who needs to hear it and leave a review—it helps more people find the show.
You can connect with Yolie Kernes using the links below.
Work with Yolie: https://www.distinctwealthmgmt.com/
Connect with Yolie:
https://www.facebook.com/yolie.kernes
https://www.instagram.com/yokernes/
Welcome to the Jordan Reynolds Show, Rewrite the Rules, the podcast for the girl who knows she's meant for more but wonders if that dream life is too much. I'm Jordan, a 31-year-old entrepreneur who's built multiple six-figure businesses, traveled to 18 countries, and created a life that gives me the freedom to live how I want. But it wasn't always like this. For years, I played small, followed the rules, and carried others' expectations. I questioned how I was supposed to live life, almost telling myself it was time to grow up, live safe, or that maybe I was too late. This podcast isn't just about business, it's about health, mindset, habits, and all the things that help you build a life that feels fully yours. This show is for women ready to stop waiting for permission and start creating a life they actually want. You'll hear real stories, honest mindset shifts, and practical tools to help you rewrite your own rules. If you're ready to stop shrinking and start choosing, you're in the right place. Welcome back to Rewrite the Rules. I'm your host, Jordan, and I'm so excited you're here. We have 31 days of podcasts back to back. I'm interviewing over 15 amazing women, and I know that you guys are in for a treat today. So today's guest is someone I've known for years, and I think you're going to love her story. I'm sitting down with my friend Yoli Kearns, and we're talking about what it really looks like to start over, rebuild your confidence, and create an amazing life that you're excited to wake up to. After the end of a 32-year marriage and a major career change, Yoli found herself in a season she never expected. Instead of letting fear define what came next, she chose to rewrite the rules and build a life that aligned with who she wanted to become. In this conversation, we talk about confidence, self-sabotage, taking the first step, even when it feels scary, and why it's never too late to create a new chapter. Whether you're in the middle of a transition, thinking about making a change, or just need a reminder that your story isn't over, I think this episode is going to encourage you so much. And your girl also loves to travel, so you know that we talk about it all, and she is amazing with what she does. So I know you guys are gonna want to connect with her. So grab a cute little mocktail, settle in, and let's get into today's conversation with my amazing friend Yoli. All right, guys, welcome back to Rewrite the Rules. I have an incredible woman here today, and I know that this is gonna be an episode that you not only save, but you're gonna share with your friends. I've known this amazing woman for I think probably 15 years at this point. Yeah, and it has been just incredible to see what has happened for her over the past few years. She loves to travel like I do. I think she travels more than me, and she has created some amazing things. And so I am so excited to have my friend Yoli Kearns on this podcast today. Welcome, Yoli. Thank you so much.
SPEAKER_01And it has been 15 years. I was thinking about that the other day, and I literally did a little look back, and I've been here 15 years, and I met you at an awesome Zumba class, and it was 15 years ago.
SPEAKER_00That's so crazy. I feel like I can blink and look back at that time and commotion probably. And it's just so crazy. But I have loved seeing just I was telling her before we started recording, she's always been full of energy. You can't come to Zumba and not have it. But the way that she lives her life now is so intentional and she is just so happy and she's like the biggest cheerleader for you. So I know you guys are gonna absolutely love her. Thanks for all those compliments. I love it. I'm excited, but I want them to get to know you a little bit. So if you don't mind sharing, you know, a little bit about before your pivot, that's what we're gonna talk about today, because she has made an amazing one. Um, tell people a little bit about, you know, what life looked like before it and what you're doing now, which is incredible.
SPEAKER_01Sure. So I like to say I sort of had a like a reset when I turned 50. And that happened due to life circumstances that I I just wasn't foreseeing. So what I was like before then was I would describe myself as high energy, optimistic, you know, friendly, open, you know, those sorts of things. I I am still all of that. But what sort of the reset for me was that I at that time, after a 32-year marriage, had a divorce. And that happened at a time where the divorce and I was making a career change at the same time. And so I literally went from being an employee all my life, which I always enjoyed. I I was always a top performer in whatever job I had. And I loved I've always loved to work, always. So that's how it was before 50, and then at 50, I got a divorce, and I had just just taken a chance by starting a brand new career where when you start this career, you don't get paid. You essentially are building a practice, it's a financial practice. And so um so I didn't have a paycheck coming in, and it was a sink or swim type, you know, of job. So that was sort of the reset that happened at that time in my life.
SPEAKER_00I love it. I think that you have been you've made some amazing things happen. I would love for you to share kind of what it has looked like now with what you've been able to do because like I remember seeing you start and you guys like this woman makes things happen. So I would love for you to share what you're doing now. So professionally? Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Okay. So um, so I was so blessed in that when I started this new career, um, I always like to give credit where credit is due. As far as I've had some amazing mentors in my life. And um, professionally, when this practice started, there was a gentleman who I'd already worked with for four years who was uh an accomplished financial advisor. And he and I started a practice on our own. So we left a big bank, you know, where you get a steady paycheck, and then started this practice. And, you know, I was blessed that I kind of had him as a great mentor that honestly for me felt like an emotional safety net. So, you know, I was learning from him. We already had clients, you know, together from our previous job. So it was a great start. And then uh he was 67 probably when we started this. So um for him, he used to always say, like, you know, go get him. You know, he used to call me whippersnapper. You know, call me that whippersnapper. And so I had the energy to, you know, like all the behind-the-scenes stuff that needs to happen. And I always looked at it as I we wanted to build the practice sort of organically, in that my motto has always been do the right thing and it'll happen. And that's truly how we, you know, went about it. I wasn't one of those girls who, you know, and I'm not, I'm I'm not criticizing this. I'm just saying I was never like running around passing out my cards to strangers because I really, really, to me, finance is such a who you're trusting with your money. Like you, I want to know my people, you know, and and so I I wanted it to be relationships that were um, you know, fostered, you know, that the so you know, really all my involvement, because as you know, I'm you know, I'm I'm always I like being busy and I love getting to know people. I'm active in my church and I'm active where I work out and you know, those sorts of things. And so I uh I feel like not facts, factual. Nine more than 90% of my new clients come from existing clients that are happy, yeah, you know, with what we do. And so that's that's I mean, literally, I just worked my worked my butt off. You know, I when I we first started this, I was working, you know, six to seven days a week. A lot of times on the weekend, that was sort of catch-up work, but you know, I would just it was long, long days, long hours. And I say that because really I think it's important for people to to recognize that when you start something over, or no matter what point you start at, any anything that ends up being great, like you gotta do the work. Yeah, there's a work to be done, right? Yes, there's blessings along the way, but you gotta do your part. You gotta do, you know, the work too. So that's what I did. And, you know, did that for years. And then now it's going on, now it's been 10 years, and so which truly did fly by.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01But in that amount of time, you know, the practice has grown probably fourfold in that amount of time. And, you know, it's great. And now I have help, which is amazing. So yeah, it's I love it.
SPEAKER_00I'm so excited. That is amazing. And I hope everybody that's listening to this, you're like, okay, if she can do it, I can do it too. I want to go back though, and I would love for you to share if there is any moments whenever you first started and you were like, okay, I have to make this happen. I don't want to keep, you know, living this way. And I think you were already kind of shifting, but if you could take them back to if there's any specific moments that you're like, I'm gonna make this happen.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. So so this is kind of a I don't talk about this too much, but I'm gonna tell you. So when I was sort of teetering, like I knew like I was pretty close to like, I think I need to start, you know, start over and that I need to, you know, this divorce needs to happen. I do Glenn Glennon Doyle is? Yes. She wrote the book Untained?
SPEAKER_00Yep.
SPEAKER_01Okay, so I'll I'll give you a quote of hers, but well, I'll just do it now. Okay, so she in her book Untained, I might butcher it a little bit, but the gist of the quote is why do we have to be near death to start fully living? And that quote so stuck with me because I actually had um kind of a near-death experience. I some friends were coming to visit, and we went to this was when it was brand, brand new, but the rapids that are, you know, they give you all kinds of warnings before you go on those things. They tell you you might fall out. If you do fall out, you know, do XYZ. And and so we were having a great time until it wasn't fun. Literally. We went, you know, through those rapid like three times it was all fun and games. And then the fourth time we fell out. And when we fell out, I was stuck underwater. And the best way to describe it is it truly felt like I was in a washing machine. Like you just, you're just spinning and you lose complete sense of direction. And um, your life jacket does not pop you right back up when you're being swirled around like that. But I remember panicking, and then I remember some of the things that they told us in the warning before when telling you in case you fall out, don't do this, do this, do this. And then it then I in the middle of that panic, I literally got this overwhelming calm. And I really did hear you're gonna be okay. You're gonna be okay. But if you weren't, would you be happy with your life choices? And right after that, I popped out of the water.
SPEAKER_00Wow.
SPEAKER_01Pop up, get out. I'm kind of shaken because I know I heard what I heard, and I get out and I swear it was life-changing because I I I kept repeating that to myself. And the answer was no. And the reason the answer was no was because girl, once you've invested 30 years in a marriage, you just, you know, you do that thing you shouldn't do of I've put in this much time, you know, all the things, you know. So you just, but it this that was like a come to Jesus moment, literally, of one, would you be happy with the choices? My answer was no. And then literally, and this is a what I have a friend that says, you have yoliisms. I like to repeat some of the things you say. And I and so one of the things that I say to myself is, what are you gonna do about it?
SPEAKER_00Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_01Like, because nothing else matters except what are you willing to do about it? And that was the way I started to basically live my life from that that day on. What am I gonna do next? What am I gonna do about it? And then because, like I said, I had just started this career, and I've always been a hard worker, but there's something very different. I know I don't have to say this to you because you've been living for this this longer than I have. Just the whole shift of working for somebody else versus working for you and going into, you know, self-employment. It's just it's a beautiful thing when you're you know that every bit of effort is going towards something you're building for yourself. And so that's what kept me motivated every day. I'll tell you why, because I saw other people who were, my goal wasn't to be the most successful financial advisor. My goal was what, what would I want somebody to do to help me when I'm just starting out? Because I literally was doing exactly that. You know, I wasn't walking away with really any resources from my divorce. I was walking away with a deficit. And so it was, it was absolutely starting over, but in the negative. And so I knew I had to, I knew I had to uh make it work. So I was very motivated by by that. And not that it was about a certain number. You know, there are people who get into finance because they want to make good money. I had the safety net, even though I wasn't making a paycheck, of going into it of I don't need much. Like I know I'm gonna be okay. Like if I have to, I could live off $30,000, $40,000. Like that's what I kept telling myself. So, you know, I'm gonna be okay. Just do your thing. I had a I had another mentor, um, a gentleman that I met at the bank that I used to work at. And I think of him often because he said to me, he used to come in the bank and then he'd wait. Like if other bankers were, even if they were available, he would wait until I was available. And I have no idea how many months we'd known each other at that point, but at some point he said to me, He said, Can I tell you something? He said, If if you're gonna work this hard, he said, I see you, I've watched you. He said, if you're gonna work this hard, you really need to be working for yourself. And literally at the time I looked at him and I'm like, How do you even do that? How do you give up a paycheck once you're making a good paycheck? Because I was making a good paycheck there.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01You know, I'm like, how do you, how do you jump and give that up? And he's like, I'm telling you, if you, if you because I was their top person in that not only there in the state, so they keep track of those things, right? So um, so I would get those awards. And so I mean, he didn't know that, but like he knew that I had to be one of their top people, and so that's why I said it. If you're gonna work this hard, you should be doing it for yourself and you're gonna be fine. You just need to choose something you want to do. And he was absolutely right. That's awesome.
SPEAKER_00I love that. I also want to say those rapids are not my favorite either. I am sorry that happened. I would never do it again. Yeah, yeah, I'm not I'm not going back for more of that.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely not. No, I tried it, it was fun. No, that was I I yeah, and lots of good lessons learned, but um, I'm not going back either. No.
SPEAKER_00I went with my family and it was not a fun, what was it, 12 minutes? It was horrible. So we'll find other fun things to do. Yes, well, there's so many other things to do. I know you talked a little bit about it, but I would love to know because I know when you step in and you know you're pivoting and you're going into something new, there's probably a lot of things that come up. And so I would love for you to share with the listeners what rules about aging or success did you have to unlearn in order to create the amazing life. I will say that amazing life that you have today.
SPEAKER_01You know what? The first thing I'd probably tell everybody is you are your own hero. And let me tell you, I there's a gal named Joyce Jefferson, who I met. She's a speaker in South Dakota, amazing gal. And she, I remember in her stories, she was a storyteller. She would come to the college campus and and do storytelling historical. And she, I remember she would use the phrase shiro instead of hero for women heroes. And that always stuck with me because I I love it. And that's what I would say. You're you're your own Shiro. And and what I mean by that is you gotta do it. You gotta do the work. No one's coming to rescue you. There is no Prince Charming, and it's never too late. Like it's literally never too late to start making healthier choices to help move you in the direction that you say you're trying to go in. That's what I would say. And I say that because think of, you know, you've heard the phrase, I'm sure, that people say, I take one step forward, but then I take two back. You know, that sort of, yeah, I'm not, I'm not saying it's, you know, easy. I think progression towards anything is, you know, it's a marathon, it's not a sprint, you know, it's a hike, it's not a, it's not a stroll, you know, however you want to, whatever analogy you want to use to, you know, sort of get the feel for it. But but if you say you want something, I think you literally have to ask yourself every day, you know, is the step I'm taking today moving me closer to my goal or further from my goal? And then be purposeful about it, right? Because if you can ask yourself, and if if it's not taking you closer to your goal, well then why then you gotta ask yourself, why are you self-sabotaging? Right? 100%. Yeah. And you know, like why would you do that to yourself? Stop it, stop it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah. We've talked a lot about that on the show before. Um, I'm curious, a little off topic, but is there anything that you've done to either help yourself or people around you with that specifically?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I think I do it every day. I mean, some of my very favorite clients are women who are starting over, and truly there's something to behavioral finance because you know, sometimes some of those obstacles are a little bit more, you know, psychological and about patterns of how we used to think, you know. And it's it really is good. It's fun for me to be able to mentor that now because, you know, I went from a scarcity mentality to now an abundant mentality. And, you know, like my clients always have homework when we're done with our, when we're done, I literally when we're done with um a session, I'll usually say, okay, my homework is, you know, and I'll I'll remind them what my next steps are for what we just talked about. And then I'll say, and your homework is, and I say that because you know, we at least for my client, like we both have to be working towards your goals for you to hit them. Like, I can't work hard enough for you if you're not doing your part. And that's the truth with you know, with everything, really. So you you gotta, I think I said this earlier already. I mean, you gotta do your part, you gotta do your work.
SPEAKER_00Did I answer your question? Yes, without a doubt. 100%. Yeah, I know you mentioned abundance and you talk a lot about it. And so I would love for you to share like, have you always had that mindset or have you just developed it over the last few years?
SPEAKER_01So for sure, I think I've always had the gratitude um mindset. And I s I s I think that's something my parents, you know, taught us. Like looking back, you know, we didn't have a lot growing up, but you know, it was always enough and there was always love in the house. And my mom taught us really early on to, you know, we we didn't feel I mean, everyone has comparisons sometimes, right? But you know, when your mom takes you to an orphanage when you're young and you see kids and your hand-me-downs and they're ecstatic to have them, you know what I mean? It's like the perspective gets, you know, flipped real, real quick. So I think I've always had that. But also, I'll tell you that when again, you know, when I had that reset, a couple things happen. One, another mentor in my life, um, my pastor, Pastor Mark from Acts 2 here in Edmund, amazing preacher. If you can't come on Sundays, listen to him online because he's an amazing teacher for sure. But one of the things that he taught me, he and his wife both, during that period when I was starting over and feeling sorry for myself a little bit, was to journal. And the journal always starts with gratitude. And that's life-changing. That's it's life-changing to start your day with gratitude. It really is. I absolutely 1000% believe and live it that the more you give thanks for things in your life, not just with words, but with actions, the more comes your way. Absolutely. And so um, so that I'm way more purposeful about from since that, you know, since that pivot, since that reset for me, you know, and also I think it's important to, in case there's anybody listening who is in the middle of that, I'm not trying to downplay it. Like when I think back to that time, I was so sad, you know, because I was grieving. I was grieving, you know, a marriage of 32 years. Even when you know it's the right thing to do, it's still not easy. It's not. And so so I'm not trying to downplay that it's, you know, oh, you pick up your bootstraps and you go. You've got to grieve what you need to grieve. You do. Um, but if you have healthy people around you, whoever those mentors are, and and you know what you need to do, and you start taking steps towards what you want your life to look like, you gotta move towards it to get it, to find it, then uh you're gonna be okay. More than okay. And I, you know, that's that's the point. Feel what you need to feel, get a good therapist, get some good friends that are healthy, you know. So do what you need to do, but then get ready. Get ready. Because the the the fact of the matter is when you give yourself 100% love and attention, and you will literally grow into your best self. I say that because part of what I learned along that sad time was that I already had answers for a long time for some things, but it's like you try to, I want to say it was misplaced trust. It's like you're trusting what you hoped would be, but you didn't have that. So when you get real about that and learn to listen to yourself, those I, you know, I call the the those gut reactions or those gut feelings, I call it the Holy Spirit, because I think that's guidance. If you listen to that guidance, it's you will strengthen. So I call it spiritual strength training. You will strengthen your own truth. But as that happens, you get more and more confident with it. And I'm telling you, stuff that like would get in your way or would upset you, it literally starts falling by the wayside because you can get to the point where you're asking yourself, is this getting me towards my goal or further from my goal? And then and you trust the process. You start to trust the process more when you trust yourself. So it builds, you know, confidence, it builds love. It's like being a good steward of your own self. And when you do that, when you're a good steward to your own self, you become such a better steward to people around you as well. So it's like a blessing upon blessing, upon blessing, upon blessing.
SPEAKER_00That's so good. I know you sort of touched on it, but I would love to know, like, I know we have women that are listening to this and they're in, you know, a similar transition. And I would love to know just some things that you, if you could say three things for someone that's in this space, how did you rebuild your confidence? And how did you really start with that trust? If they're like, Yoli, tell me three things I can start this week. What would those be?
SPEAKER_01Oh gosh. Okay. So the I I kind of touched on this, but the first thing I would say is, are you really grieving what you had, whatever it is that you're you feel stuck about?
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01Are you really grieving what you had, or are you grieving what you hoped it was gonna be? And I say that because it's so important to know the difference, you know, and it really either way, no matter what it was, then the next question is, what do you want to do about it? You know, because you can stay stuck for a very long time if all you want to do is talk about all the negative things happening. We we all know people who got divorced 40 years ago no, maybe not that long, you know, 10 years ago or 20 years ago, and they still talk about their ex. And it's like, you gotta, yes, grieve the process, but then put that stuff down because it's not helping you. That's a really heavy load. How are you supposed to move towards blessings and greatness and you know, all positive things if you've if you're hanging, you know, that's yoking you basically, you know, like literally it's it's you know, holding you back, you know? So that would be another thing. What are you gonna do about it? And then you know what? Who said this? Buchanan. Lori Buchanan. Lori Buchanan said, and I love this quote, it's um, shoot, I don't want to mess this up either. It is what you don't change, you are choosing. And that's that's the reality. That truly is like we have to, like, we don't get to blame everybody else for what's happening in our life, you know? So, you know, at some point we have to say, okay, you know, where am I at? What you know, what do I need to do about it? And if I do nothing, if I stay stuck like this, if I do nothing, I'm literally choosing this misery, you know. Yeah. So we gotta do something about it. Yeah. And then like I said, call in your mentors. Call in your mentors. You've got it. You know, that's I think that's one thing sort of pre the changes in my life that I did too is I always have had good friends. And you only get good friends by investing in people, you know? And so I I literally have a handful of friends that I've had for 30 and 40 years, you know, and those don't happen just, you know, just because. And even at very busy stages of life, right? You just have to decide what you're investing in, you know, and that all the all everything in your life that you want to be even better are things that you need to be investing in. If you want your finances to be better, guess what? That does not happen on its own. You need to start investing. If you want better friendships, guess what? You need to make time for for people, or you're not gonna have great friends who would show up to drop anything to be with you when you when you know you need something. And you're willing have to be willing to do that for other people, obviously, or you don't get those kind of friendships. You know, any kind of relationship is like that. Some of the I have friends that have amazing spouses. And that that takes that takes work. That takes people being good partners to one another. And all of that, to me, all of that, this is a little bit, it's like financial talk, but it's also real talk in my life. It's like everything that's worth something. If you want an ROI, if you want a return on investment, you gotta do your part, you gotta do your part of the work, and then you're gonna see a return on investment because that's how it works.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it doesn't just happen. Nope, nothing does. Yeah, yeah. I would, I'm curious if you can look back, what are some things and opportunities that you would have missed out on if you hadn't have decided to really make that change?
SPEAKER_01Wow, gosh, a lot. So what's so some of the things that I'm really purposeful about now. I was good at it before, but very purposeful about now is gosh, I didn't describe it quite this way before, but the words I'll use now is sort of like active stewardship. And by that I mean like towards myself. I do a lot of self-care. I'm really good at it now. Was not before. Part of that self-care but was by doing a lot of really good work in boundary work. Highly recommend that to everybody if you have any issues with that area. That's a whole nother topic we could do on that. But truly, but active stewardship. So towards yourself and then towards others. You know, we have, I feel, I feel a responsibility to be, yeah, a good steward of the resources I've been blessed with. And when I say resources, I mean everything. I mean my energy, my skill set. Yes, it includes my money too. Like I we're we're meant to, we're meant to give back. So yeah, so all of those things.
SPEAKER_00But opportunities would you have missed if you had stayed where you were out of fear?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, so now I get to do things like because I've built, and again, the goal was never to build like a huge practice and you know make a certain amount of digits. That was never my goal. But because my practice has grown so well, you know, I I take care of my people really well. I take care of myself really well. I have a team now that helps me. And because I have such an amazing team, you know, now when I go on vacation, I'm able to, I don't have to take my laptop with me. And I'm able to do stuff like, you know, part of my girl's Christmas present now is they get to pick pick a they get to pick a memory making something. So instead of things, right, they choose um they choose yoga retreats. And the last one was in Tuscany, and the one before that was in Santorini. I mean, they're amazing experiences. I get great, you know, great time with my girls. And um, so it's great mother-daughter time. We all love to exercise, so it's doing something that we love, but it's doing something we love in amazing places, listening to other languages and and you know, seeing God's creation out there and you know, meeting other cool humans doing these adventures as well. So I get to do all kinds of things like that. So there's so many things, you know, and and it's blessed me with the opportunity to be a good steward in lots of ways. So, like some of the things I do with my time is, you know, I've done studies at my church where I will do a small group. I've taught boundaries twice there now, so important, and ended up being a great, it's always interesting to see. I always think, okay, no one's gonna show up, or who knows how many people are gonna show up. And those have been great studies. So I I'll I'll do uh studies at church. Just a couple weeks ago, I had a good friend who owns the collective for children. She invited me to come read books because she donates, she generously donates books to not only schools but kids' organizations. And we went to an or a nonprofit that serves children who are chronically ill. And so she invited me to come read. She gave them books and, you know, so just to serve, you know, that's so minor, but you know, to take the time to, you know, share whatever you can, you know, whenever, and then you know, and then just to be able to, you know, to be able to fund scholarships for things that are important to me. You know, if you'd have told me 10 years ago that I would be doing that stuff now, I I couldn't have seen, I couldn't have seen that many blessings. I knew I'd be okay, but I I really feel that that came because because I trusted God when I not only didn't have a little bit, I was in the negative. And I trusted him then. And when that, when that shifted, that no matter what, I'll be okay, just do your part. Then then I thought, I think that's honestly when I started tithing. When I didn't have a paycheck, I had always given, I'd always given to church, but I had never done that tithing 10%, no matter what. And when I wasn't making a paycheck, is when I decided, no, I gotta, I got, I have to be living the walk of I trust God with my new life. And so what that meant for me is that for every dollar that I made, I started putting 10% into a completely different account so that there was no confusion. When I ran out of money in my checking account, it it literally had to be then I had to make do with whatever. Um, because when you're starting a career, it's a brand new career in the negative. That's really what it's like, is that you know, it's things are gonna be scarce for a while. And but I had made that commitment and that's what I did. And I'm like, this has to be separate because it's not mine. This is literally, this is God's money. And so that had to go towards others. And to this, to this day, that's what I do, but now it's more than that percentage. And I'm not showing off. I say that to say when you're obedient to what God is calling you to do, and here's the thing it what he's calling me to do might be different than he's calling somebody else to do. Like I had never felt convicted to do that until that time in my life. And then because I felt it was I was being convicted of it, then that's when I was, you know, I knew I had to be obedient to it. And that's how that started. But all of those things, you know, are sort of after reset, but those are all things I never could have imagined before then. So they're all amazing blessings. I'm I'm I'm grateful every day. Can't can't freaking believe it. I love it.
SPEAKER_00I love hearing all of that. It's amazing. I want to know what would you say to the woman listening who feels like she's too late, too old, or has made too many mistakes to start over.
SPEAKER_01You know what? I would say give me a call. That's what I would say too. Literally, like lit literally, give me a call. Because what I would tell her is your best self is waiting for you to wake up and go like she's waiting for you to come get her. And that only happens through taking good care of yourself, you know, first. And that doesn't mean ignore everybody else around you. So that that and I'm taking a second to say that because it might sound a little bit easy when I'm saying it. It because I know it's not like it's not like I ignored everybody around me and just started taking care of myself. And so depending on, you know, like where your listeners are at and what ages they are, like they might have three kids under four at home and they might have, you know, so I'm not saying stop everything else in your life, but you've got to get purposeful about what feeds your soul so that you can do those things. And when you do that and feed her, then she will get stronger. And as she gets stronger, you're better for everybody. You're not just better for you, you're better for your kids, you're better for your partners, you're better for for your friends, and you're better for your community, hopefully. You know, those are it all like will permeate out of you as you're, you know, as you're building that, as you're building her, as you're building you.
SPEAKER_00I'm so good.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00Okay. I want to know today. You're living what you call your best life. I would say that as well. What does that actually look like day to day? And what does success mean to you now compared to 20 years ago?
SPEAKER_01Okay, you did two questions.
SPEAKER_00So one more time. Sorry. Give me the first one first. You're good. Today you're living what you call your best life. What does that actually look like day to day?
SPEAKER_01Okay, so day to day, day to day, I I live by that motto. I live by the motto of, you know, is what I'm what I'm doing bringing me closer or not to the things I say I want in my life. So, I mean, like for example, I've always exercised. Yeah. Um, but I can give you a very concrete example. I would always admire gals who had like nice defined arms, not like bodybuilders, right? That's a whole nother level. So I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about, you know, girls are strong and fit it fit, but you can also see like a little bit of definition in their arms. I this sounds really might sound a little shallow to people, but I'm just saying this is one of the things that I have always admired. And I've always worked out. I've always worked out, you know, five to six days a week. So and I've never had that. So literally about a year and a half ago, I I was like, what am I doing? Like literally, what am I doing purposefully, you know, that might get that result? And so I was intimidated to do a like a gym gym, you know what I mean? Regular gym. Yeah. Um, and so yeah, so I hired a personal trainer. She has amazing arms. And I I hired a personal trainer and I meet her two to three times a week. And we've been doing it for about a year. And I can tell you this so concretely, because it like it just happened on Tuesday of this week, I can do arm, uh, what are they called? Arm rows, bent arm row rows. I use 30-pound weights this week. Girl, I started at like wow eight or something. So and so that, and I say that to say, like I said, that might sound like a totally shallow example to some people, but it's the the point of it is that that is always something I'd admire, yet I hadn't purposefully, you know, like taken any steps to at least doing what I had to do to see what my body was capable of. I am not, we all know, we've seen it, because we also all have friends that have, you know, that eat nothing but junk food and yet they have great muscles, right? So there is some also some you know genetics to it as well. So, and I'm not trying, you know, I'm not trying to be, you know, you know, bodybuilder or anything like that. But for me, that was just something that is sort of like, okay, well, you say, you say you like that, you say you, you know, and so I thought, well, then do something about it. And, you know, and so so I did. And that's how I tend to, my day-to-day is I I love coming to work. I freaking love my clients, hug most of them on the way in and on the way out. Not at the first meeting, that would be inappropriate, but we come to that point, right? So I love coming to work. And, you know, most days have a workout. Every week I see friends, and so all the things that I do in my life, you know, they're all things I want to be doing. So even the hard stuff, right? Even the hard stuff, I look at it as okay, do I have to do this? Because if the answer is no, you don't have to, but you know you want to because of XYZ, then I remind myself of that and keep at it. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And then what was the second part of your question? The second part, which I think you kind of answered it, was what does success mean to you now compared to 20 years ago?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I don't even know what I would have said 20 years ago. I probab it probably would have been something like, you know, to be successful as far as I wouldn't have said had my own business. I wouldn't have said that because I that was never even a realm of possibility back then. I my my idea of success was to be taught at whatever it is I was doing. And I was doing that because my first career was in my 20s, and at the time I was a retail manager, and I think I was a manager for four years, and every year, you know, I won the trip to New York City because I was one of their top 10 people kind of thing, you know. Yeah. So so I think it always looked like, oh, just be one of the top workers kind of thing, is what I would have thought. And I would have probably thought enough, enough money to, you know, not worry about money, but that number would have looked very, very different 20 years ago that it than it does now. And honestly, now I wouldn't, I wouldn't even the things that I would say now that I strive for success in is, you know, having joy in my life, which I do, being a good steward of my resources, which I know I am. And so I just want to do more of that.
SPEAKER_00It's amazing. This has been such a good conversation. I have one last question.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00I think it's gonna be a good one. If you could sit down with a version of yourself who is afraid to make the change, what would you tell her?
SPEAKER_01Afraid to make any change. I would just say, listen, like literally, you're you're wasting energy staying stuck. That's what I would say. It's like you can do this, you can. And and the only way you're gonna get there is to start moving towards it. That's what I would say. And you don't have to do it alone. So I I would hope that people, you know, have if you haven't, if you're not in a place where you have a what I would say is what I would describe as like a tribe. If you don't have, you know, someone you can call no matter what that you know would pick up the phone, if you don't have, you know, a healthy, you know, pastor or a healthy, you know, healthy therapist or a healthy best friend, if you don't have those things in your life, then start working towards those things because you're gonna need them. You're gonna need them at some point in your life, you know. And then once you're healthy enough, then you need to be the same for others. And then it will, you will exponentially grow from there. You but you gotta take the first step. You gotta take those first steps because stuck ain't gonna get you there. So that's what I would say.
SPEAKER_00Awesome. This has been so good. I'll make sure that we have all the information to connect uh with Yoli in the show notes. But thank you so much for being here. I know that this is going to help so many women, and I just love how intentional you are and how it has changed everything for you. So it was amazing having you, Yoli. Thank you so much. I appreciate you. Thanks for listening to the Jordan Reynolds show, Rewrite the Rules. New episodes drop every Tuesday, so make sure you're subscribed. And if this episode spoke to you, leave a written review and five stars. It helps this message reach more women who need it. Until next time, trust yourself, take the leap, and keep rewriting your own rules.