Episode 36 - My Estranged Relationship with Pacific Media.

This episode is about my estranged relationship with Pacific media - featuring some interesting interactions, a few receipts, and screenshots that speak for themselves 👀

I also react to a recent faikava and tou’a video posted by ABC Pacific, breaking down what’s being highlighted…and more importantly, what’s being left out.

I share real testimonials from women who have experienced sexual assault after faikava, stories that deserve to be heard, not ignored. If we only tell the “good side,” we fail the very people who need protection the most.

Transcript

SPEAKER_04 0:05

You know, I'm beginning to wonder whether the Pacific Media is scared of me because of our recent conversation. And I'm not that scary. The FICO men, you know, are scarier, especially at night. And um our conversation with the Pacific Media has been very weird, very strange lately. So in this episode, I will be discussing how I have been communicating with the Pacific Media since last year to discuss the FAIKA and Doa issue and to help with the campaign. So that is our topic for today. I will be showing some videos. I will be reacting to some of the Doa videos they've been posting up recently. And I'll be showing some of our texts and how we've been communicating. So Maloelele, Pulavinaka, Talafalava, and hello everyone. Welcome to another episode of Pacific Empowerment Podcast with your host, Akanesikao Fusi. I hope you are having a great day out there wherever you're listening or watching from. But uh yeah, it has been strange, you know, my conversation with the Pacific Media. Um, I have emailed some of these media since last year, you know, to help with spreading the word about the sexual abuse of Doa, and I didn't have any response from them. So I, you know, didn't mind, and I just continue on with my work, continue spreading the word through my podcast and social media platform. However, I have been having very strange engagement with them since the beginning of this year. And uh especially when the campaign started. So I'm gonna start with Coconut TV. In the beginning of this year, they posted an article online on social media, and someone sent it to me because they were happy that the awareness, you know, is spreading on social media. Um, is and this is the first article about Do'a and you know the huge noise after the video from Utah, you know, the sexual video of the Doa in Utah during Faikaba. So I'll just read the first few uh sentences um so I can give you uh an idea of what the article was about. So the title is Who Sets the Rules in Today's Cover Circle? Tongen women's rights advocate Ofakilevuka kun beo liliki on the wider cultural issues raised by the sex act filmed edify cover session that went viral recently. Social media platforms have challenged and in many ways shaken the very foundations of how we live as Tongan's. So I was scrolling through the article and I saw uh some of my uh testimonies on my page, on my Facebook page, have been embedded into this article without my permission. I I didn't know that this article was written. And no one reached out to me before they posted the article that they're gonna add some of the testimonies in my Facebook page to their article. So I was fine with it, you know. I didn't mind that they didn't reach out. So I made a post on Facebook, you know, and said that I'm so glad that the word is out there. You know, I'm thankful to Kokonet TV for posting it. But people started commenting because they were mad that I wasn't mentioned and I wasn't acknowledged in this article because I was the one who first raised the issue since last year. Um, so this is some of the comments. They should at least mention you, Aganesi Galfusi. Because honestly, without your work, this would have never been discussed. And then another person said, agreed, Akanesi has raised a lid on this for so many of us outside the culture of cover, but reflects the continued abuse of women in the name of culture for the pleasure and exploitation of men. Um, another person said, I 100% agreed with you, they should give credit to Akanesi Kalfusi when it's due. Such a shame that Kokonut TV doesn't give credit when it's due. Akaness Kalfusi, keep it up. I 100% support your advocacy for women's rights and for gender equality. And someone called out Coconut TV and said, Coconut TV, we would respect more of your work if you had the decency to properly acknowledge those bringing these issues to the forefront since 2025. You know, so I was just um laughing when I read those comments, and um I didn't mind, you know. I I mean they they are right. I was the one who first raised this issue and um exposed, you know, the sexual abuse and the sexualizations of Doa in Faigawa since last year, and that was the first time so many of the non-Tongan's learn about this issue. Um, but we, you know, I didn't mind, so I ignored it, you know? And then a few weeks later, someone sent me a post from the director of the Women and Children's Crisis Center in Tonga. Um, Offa. And uh, you know, she was it was so funny. I I do not know why she made that post because it was embarrassing on her part to even say that. Because I ignored it. I didn't make any posts about it. Uh it wasn't a big deal, you know, and I ignored it after those people made the comments. And I continued raising the awareness and continued posting about the Doa and the testimonials. When the person sent me the post, I was so angry, I was so mad. And um, this is the post, I'll read it up for you. Because it was so embarrassing. I was embarrassed for her. Because why would she post that? Especially from the director of the Women Crisis Center in Tonga. You know, we were supposed to be supporting each other when I started posting the testimony since last year. I was hoping that she would reach out so we can work together because we are tackling the same issue. We um raising awareness on the same issue in regards to sexual abuse and domestic violence on women. So this is her post. I'm just gonna read it out. This is her post. Malopita TV for the coverage. I've been reading some of the comments on other pages. This has been shared, suggesting that if it were not for Agneska Ofusi, this issue would not have surfaced, and that what I've written is somehow just an after effect of what she raised on social media. Let me be very clear. Women and Children Crisis Center Tonga has been advocating on the sexual harassment of Doha at Faikawa for more than 15 years. This is not new to us. We don't do this work primarily on social media, we do it in villages, in halls, in churches and in cover circles, sitting with men, women, young women, and young men and talking about these issues face to face. We also run workshops with young women and young men on personal boundaries, consent, what constitutes sexual harassment, attempted rape, and rape under Tongan law. So communities understand not just what feels uncomfortable, but what is clearly unlawful and harmful. We've taken these conversations out across Tonga as far as the newers. Let me also say this clearly. Online platforms advocating for safer communities and zero tolerance of violence, abuse and harassment are important and welcome. They move faster and wider and they help shift public conversation. The work we do in Tonga is different. It is face-to-face, slower, harder, and more confronting. It happens in the fufola efala kaifai hataalanga. Laying the met, sitting together and having the difficult conversations that reach to heart challenge power and change behavior over time. We have raised these issues through community dialogues, make advocacy programs with our males' advocates on the ground, safeguarding training, national policy and justice system engagement. Long before this issue found visibility online. So please don't dismiss what is being said now as copycat or secondary to anyone else's advocacy. What you are seeing today is the public surfacing of work that women's organizations in Tonga, especially Women and Children Crisis Center, have carried quietly, consistently and courageously for years. To erase that long-standing grassroots advocacy is not just inaccurate, but it undermines the very organizations that helped this issue when it was unsafe, unpopular, and ignored. Let's do this work in solidarity, not in competition. It's not about one person and it should never be. I agree. But when I read that post, I was dumbfounded. Because I why would she post this? Because it just shows how competitive she is that she's comparing her ears of work to me, who just started raising the issue about this awareness. And I was so angry because people were attacking me last year about this issue, saying I made this up, saying I was lying. And uh Ofa was just quiet. Like she didn't say anything about this issue and you know, have my back and said, Akanes is right, this issue is happening in Tonga. We have worked, you know, on this and this and this. She didn't say anything until this article with the Gogonet TV. She was quiet. You know, and uh she hasn't reached out to me, she hasn't said anything to me since I raised this issue, and we haven't, I was waiting to see if she reached out. And she hasn't. And then to say that let's do this work in solidarity, not in competition, that's BS. You know, that is pretending. And that is why I hate people who pretend. And uh, you know, I was so frustrated when I saw that post. So I made a post replying to her and saying I was a bit harsh, I have to be honest, because I was calling for her to re resign from the role because the way she was showing her competitive side instead of wanting to work together was very unprofessional, you know. Coming from a leader, a good leader should be acknowledging the work of other people, especially if they are taking the same issue. You know, a good leader is not afraid of someone else taking the spotlight, you know? A good leader is humble, is not trying to compare their work to other people. And uh I was so dumbfounded when I read her post um and I responded to her uh message and said, The problem with this post is that you were quiet when I was fighting this issue alone in public. You knew the issue was real, yet you didn't beg me up when everyone was tearing me down and calling me a liar. Where was your support over? No, I raised this issue on my own without any influence from you. But now that more people are supporting the work I'm doing, you suddenly write an article without acknowledging the reasons this issue was raised in the first place. This was never competition, and I didn't care that you didn't acknowledge me or the work I've been doing on my own. But since you've mentioned it, I want to set the record straight. I haven't heard from you since I first raised this issue, so why now? That's the question. I am all for working together, as long as this issue is genuinely addressed and real change is made for the good of society. I don't care about recognition, but it seems that some people only come out publicly to take the credit for work others have been doing consistently. And no, it wasn't me who raised the issue with the Coconut TV. It was people who saw the hell I went through last year when I first spoke about it publicly and you were nowhere to be found. Lastly, you did not seek my permission before tagging or referencing the testimonials on my page in your article. Both you and the Coconut TV should be aware that ethical journalism requires consent before using or tagging someone else's work. If you claim this had nothing to do with me, then why was my page tagged in your article without my consent? That is not a professional standard for either you or the Coconut TV. I would have let this go, but you didn't. So now I have to address it. Which is true, I would have let it go, but because since you posted about it, I have to address it because it's so frustrating how I have been working and she was dead silent until you know everything blew up from that fight government Utah and suddenly she pops up and made an article without reaching out to me. I mean, a genuine person with a good heart would reach out and said, Nessie, uh, you know, I acknowledge your work and I'm, you know, I'm happy to work together with you. Would it be okay if I use some of your, you know, uh testimonies to post it and everything? Like, there's no problem in that. A leadership, you have to be humble, you have to have humility uh to be able to work together with other people. And then the comments started coming in from people saying, so many people were commenting and said, uh, this is some of the comments. Quietly championing for 15 years. Therein lies the problem. Change isn't overnight. However, such a violently perverse and widespread issue can be met quietly, gently, and politely. There should be praise for your work in uncovering the many fearful people who, for whatever reason, were missed by that agency, who fall through the cracks between it's a monumental shift just to admit the issue. What of the men who came forward, who until now had no place for their nuanced, specific and complicated concerns? Outreach is outreach. The results benefit all involved in this work, who are doing it for truly altruistic reasons. Sorry you're getting stepped over and real disappointed in these channels. Seems the exposure isn't limited to the perpetrators, but to the long-standing institutions and stakeholders too. Whatever funding they receive, I'm sure those providing it would have turned their heads sideways seeing all of this come out. So true. Yeah, and these are common. They just expose themselves in the work they were doing, which is nothing. Would be good if they supported you and worked together to solve the problem. You do use this uh another one, wow, 15 years and still no one knows what they do or who they are. And another comment said, the fact that this has reached Babwanyu Guinea because of Akanesi, never heard of this issue before until she started posting it and went viral. Um it's so funny. Yes, this is another some of the comments saying, I'm Samoan, and I honestly didn't know much about what goes on in Fight Gover Clubs until your page popped up and really caught my attention. It shed light on some very important and confronting truths about what happens with the Doa and the men involved. You've brought awareness to an issue that has been happening for many years, but has remained largely hidden. Reading the stories of so many victims who have come forward is absolutely heartbreaking, especially knowing that many young women have been forced into Doa by their own parents. It's truly unbelievable and deeply upsetting. I fully support your campaign and the work you're doing to raise awareness. Credit where it's due, you are making a difference. Wishing you all the very best, Akanesi, in putting a full stop to this. It's simply because Akanesi did a hundred percent better job than they did. I never knew these sexual harassment and hideous crimes were happening to the Doa women until I watched one of Akanesi's video last year. And thanks to her page, a lot of Doas from other countries have the courage speaking up about their experience and some are more extreme than others. These are definitely not competition because these detailed stories are not made up. It has ruined lives, it has ruined families, it has ruined communities, and most importantly, a sacred tradition, Brownton women are known for in the Pacific. And as for Offa and the WCCT, we do applaud the work you are doing, but your post offer kinda let your whole team down. Be strong, Akanesi, when the devil comes for you, it means you're doing something great. And I agree. Like that post alone kind of let her herself down and her whole team because it shows us the kind of competitive mindset that they have. It's a tall puppy syndrome mindset, you know, trying to compete and trying to outdo each other instead of working together. I'm all for, you know, working together with other women or men who are taking this issue. And um I recently checked the article and CocoNet TV has removed the testimonials from my page that they um that they added to the article. And rightfully so, because they send me, because after this noise, the uh CocoNet TV silently reached out to me and said, you know, um Alola Kanesi, Coco team here. We just wanted to get in touch regarding the embedded post on our article. Firstly, we want to commend you for your tireless advocacy around putting a stop to the abuse of women in the fight cover circles, and thank you for the work you continue to do to keep our Pacifica women safe. Apologies for any issues caused around the embed. Please do let me know if you'd like us to take the embeds out or to specifically credit you instead. We chose the embed specifically so that it would credit the original poster in this case, but do understand the situation is sensitive. Yeah, but you should have reached out to me first because the post was on my Facebook page. You know, both Koconet TV and OFA didn't reach out, which is uh shocking and very unprofessional, to be honest. Um, anyways, Coconut TV was stunned. So after January, I started my podcast for 2026 in February and then announced a campaign that we are launching a campaign to Bandoa. Uh, you know, everyone was attacking me during this time, and one of the journalists from ABC Pacific, his young Tongen male, uh, his name is Fin Now Funua, he reached out um asking me if we can do an uh interview about this cover issue because he's writing an article about it. So I said, yes, you know, we did the whole interview, telephone interview. And after that interview, you know, I was waiting for him to post the article. Suddenly, I received a message from a woman. I haven't uh contacted with this woman before. Like this was the first time she messaged me. She said, sis, help me out. Is this group legit? And then she sent me a text message from Final, the journalist that was interviewing me, and he he said, My name is Final, and I'm a journalist for ABC News in Australia. I'm reporting on the Doa controversy and I'm looking for victims to interview. I saw your post on Facebook regarding the issue of harassment against Doa and wondered if you would be open to a phone interview. This would be for radio. I know our audience will be deeply interested and we would love to hear from you. Malo Pidden Kamrika. So she sent me their interaction and she asked me if I know them, if they are legit, and I said yes, he interviewed me earlier, he's from ABC News. And she said, okay, she's just checking. But then she sent me another screenshot of their conversation, and I was so disappointed because when I saw her, his message, he was saying to her, I have one victim who has spoken out. In order for this story to be strong, we need for my daughters to speak out, similar to me too, Momen. I'm writing and voicing everything. I just need victims to verify that sexual harassment is a problem that needs to be taken seriously. The problem with Akanesi is that she can't verify her post because they are all anonymous. I can get you in contact with the victim I interviewed if you wish to speak to her first. I was, you know, taken aback when I read the message because I was like, I just finished the interview with Fina Fonua and he never once told me directly, you know, that she wants confirmation about the anonymous post. And the reason why he was mad, because he asked me after our interview if I can get some of the victims to be interviewed, the ones that have opened up to me. And I said, yes, I'll I'll send a few messages out to other victims. But bear in mind, this time was when everyone in Tonga was attacking me. The Tongan community was attacking me, my family, you know, they went on live, my classmates, fight government, women, everyone on social media was attacking me. And, you know, these victims were too afraid to come forward. But I messaged them and said, would you be okay? A few of them if you want to be interviewed, and some, you know, back out and said that they don't want to, because I don't blame them. Because they were coming at me full force, and now the journalists wanted to interview them and they don't even know who he is. And also, he was a male. It wasn't that moved by ABC Pacific because why would they send a male to do this investigation? It should be a woman, a tongue-in woman, you know, to come and interview the victims. Because the victims are women. The Doha are women, and women will feel more comfortable talking to a tongue-in-woman journalist than a tongue-in male who have no idea about this Doha issue. I was so mad and I sent him a message on WhatsApp and I was saying, I can't believe you do this. Why didn't you tell me that you wanted confirmation and to verify the post direct? Say it to me directly instead of going behind my back. That's not what a professional journalist do, going behind my back and and talk bad about me to the other victims. I mean, do you know that the reason Why the Doa victims came to me with their story because they trust me. And for him to say I was talking with a Doa that he was messaging, and she said I don't want to tell him anything, and I don't understand why he and others think the victims are not real just because they just want to stay anonymous. He just came out of nowhere. And I agree. You know, because mind you, this woman is a Doa victim also. And for him to say that, you know, the testimonies I read out is not real, it's like it will trigger this woman. And you know, she won't trust him after that. But uh yeah, so we we went back and forth and then he was trying to make me look like you know the monster. So when I sent him text messages that the lady sent me on WhatsApp, he messaged the lady again and said, Hi, I'm obliged to let you know Akinesi screenshot our conversation and send it to me. Basically, she's accusing me of calling her a liar because I told you she can't verify her information. If she threatens you, don't be intimidated. You are fully protected by US and Australian privacy laws, and I and my company will assist you here. I was like, what the hell? Why would I threaten her when I've been trying to get victims to come forward, you know, but they can't, so I have to be the voice for them. But so why would I threaten her if she tries to contact him? It doesn't make sense. So the lady sent his message to me and he she said I blocked him, and I told her, Good, I blocked him also. So and the lady said, Yeah, I don't trust him. And funny how he said if she threatens you, it's like he he trying to paint a picture that I'm a monster or some kind of uh uh abuser or something. And then his message and the lady said and he said you screenshot our conversation. No, that was me. I've shared something before in the past, and although I got support from people, but there were others who didn't, then I posted it online, so I totally understand. They either want to protect the abusive family members or they have done it before. Sweeping things under the rug is old news. It's time to air all of it out, but at the same time, some people want to stay anonymous, and that is fine. So, you know, I was so angry. So I messaged him and I blocked him, and then I made a report, a full report to Pacific ABC News about it, but I haven't heard from them, so um looks like they're protecting their own. But that was very unprofessional journalism from him. And I have a record of our interview just in case, because I told him, you need to delete the interview that we're doing. I don't want you to release it anymore because you know you have ruined um, you know, the whole article because you you don't believe me. And the strange thing when during our conversation on the radio, he told me he already interviewed victims that have been sexually assaulted. And then I was like, Oh, really? And then he said, Well, that is what she claimed happened to her. In his tone, he totally didn't believe her. So and then after that whole incident and we stopped talking, and then someone messaged me and sent me a post by a lady, a tongue-in woman from ABC Pacific making a post on her Facebook status and saying, I want to interview Dota who have been sexually assaulted. Can you reach out to me? Because I want to interview you. And I I don't understand it. Like why uh why didn't she reach out to me so we can work together? But it's clear after a video that they posted last week, Faicava and Doa, it's like a short documentary, that they wanted to paint, you know, the good side of Fai Cava. They wanted to hide the very dark, ugly side of Faicava and Doa, and they wanted to uh paint uh a good side of the Fai Kava culture. I'm just gonna show you the video so we can go through it.

SPEAKER_05 26:18

In almost every Thoman village, you'll find a gathering of men, young and old, who get together, Dalanoa, and share a shell of cover. At the center of this gathering, you'll see the toa, a server of cover. Women would take up the role for various reasons, whether to make a bit of money or to help at a community event. That was how Christina first became a toa when she was 19, to help at a local event at the request of her father. While she says she's had mostly positive experiences, women in this role can sometimes be vulnerable. Christina says she has managed to fend off unwanted attention over the years, but other women have begun speaking up online about their own experiences, many involving more serious harassment and even assault.

SPEAKER_01 28:06

Not every setting that allows these sexual harassment behaviors and actions.

SPEAKER_05 28:12

Throughout her travels, Ainake Akafi would do up for various clubs and events throughout New Zealand, Tonga, and the US, where she's now based.

SPEAKER_01 28:22

It starts small and then it just gets to a point of no control. There's lack of elders and cultural authority. Little village meetings or church meetings were the easiest for me to handle because I did not have to look over my shoulders, but then there were others where you literally had to fight tooth and nail to make sure that nobody was going to take advantage of you. When it goes deeper into the night or late into the night, you know, they'll be all up in your ear, trying to kiss you on the cheeks or even it bite your ear. They will try things, and I will just sit there in the circle and just start beating them with the spoon and telling them to back off. Yeah, I look back and I'm just proud that I was able to survive those circles all on my own.

SPEAKER_05 29:29

Some say regulation or even a ban isn't the answer.

SPEAKER_03 29:34

I think that framing sexual misconduct um as a cultural issue is dangerous. Being a toa is not a crime, and drinking kama is not a crime. What is a crime is assault. So it is really important that the misconduct that occurs in Fai Gama or the Kara ceremony are attributed to the individuals who committed them.

SPEAKER_04 30:06

You know, I was so dumbfounded when I saw the lawyer said this. I can't believe that these words uh came out from a lawyer to say Doa is not a crime, Fakaba is a crime. But Doa is illegal. You know, Dowa is illegal overseas because they don't have most of these women don't have visa, work visa. So they go overseas to Doa for money because they can't work. They don't have any work visa, so that's illegal. Uh sending women to go and do overseas, you know, it won't help them long term. It will help them for a short time. But I have I have never heard uh Doa become a millionaire or become rich from Doa. So what is the point of earning money if, you know, it it's not a career? They get exploited because they can't say anything because they are working illegally. Illegal work of overstayers and those who don't have work visa is a basis for exploitation by the FAI Gava men and the families that these women are staying in. And for her to say FAI Gava is not a crime, do I is not a crime. The environment, the FAIGA environment where one young woman is surrounded by a man full of drunk is enabling the sexual abuse. That is why it keeps happening. And that is why I'm calling for a ban, because this environment is allowing FAIGA men to abuse these women because they are vulnerable, they don't have work visa. And also in Tonga, it's not a job in Tonga. So they don't it's not yet considered a job or an employment. So um even it's a side hassle. So they're not declaring the income. You know, any income, it doesn't matter side hassle, full income, needs to be declared, especially if you do are every time to earn money. And I can't believe that this do um this lawyer was saying it. I thought lawyers would be smarter, but uh this one wasn't. So Dr.

SPEAKER_05 31:59

Edmund Feyhoko has done extensive research on five cover gatherings and argues they also do a lot of good.

SPEAKER_00 32:08

It's a space where young people can stay away from alcohol uh you know alcohol consumption, drug use and abuse, mental health issues. We've seen a lot of young people come in and open up their emotions and feelings.

SPEAKER_04 32:20

So all I'm hearing from this doctor is that these this is good for men. Men, men, men. No mention of women, and that is where patriarchy comes in. As long as the men are happy, as long as the men have a place to escape to talk about mental health. I mean, I hope they talk about mental health, but the reason why we are having all these discussions is because they are not talking about mental health. They are talking disgusting things to the Do'a. That is why we are raising these issues. And also, uh Kava is a drug. So replacing a drug with another truck, you know, to to help with addiction doesn't help. I think the main thing is talk about mental health and stop the w women from going to Faigala. Say and Doa. And and that is the thing. We are talking about Do'a here. So if they are talking about mental health, why do they need a woman there? Why do they need a daughter in Faigala for them to be able to talk about mental health and to do fundraising and all of the You can do fundraising, you can do mental health talk and capacity building discussion without a woman, without a door. You don't need a daughter to do all of this. But the problem is the reason why they're not talking about mental health, because they are focusing on the do'a and you know, sexually harassing that doa. So that is why we need to ban that do'a. It doesn't have any role in a faiga full of drunk men in a room.

SPEAKER_05 33:47

As for any talk on the band, Bahulu, a matabule or talking chief responsible for teaching traditional gawa ceremonies, believes separating the ga ceremony and the doa isn't possible.

SPEAKER_04 34:17

This this man, old man, is talking about cover ceremony. I have been preaching from day one since I spoke out about the doa issue, that we need to ban doa from regular kalapu and regular faigava and restore it back to only ceremony. So I'm not trying to ban the do'a from the traditional cover ceremony. I am saying restore it back to the traditional cover ceremony only and ban it from the regular cover settings and the cover clubs. That is where women are sexually harassed, not the ceremony where everyone, women, men are there and watching during the ceremony. You know, that's where Doa are safe. But regular gawa and regular kalapu, you know, that's where women are not safe. And that is why I I was so shocked, you know, with the whole video. The whole video was just a waste of time. It was just nonsense to me because they are painting the good side of Fai Gava, you know, the benefit of Fai Gava, and they can do all that without a Doa. Ban Doa from Fai Gava to protect these women from sexually abused. And the thing is, they said to put a policy during you know in Fai Gaba, I think 80% of the sexual abuse in of Doa is outside the FAI Gava, after Fai Gava when they get dropped off. So by the FAI Gava men who's dropping off the Do'a to her home, usually by family members or friends, and also um before Fai Gava and also during Fai Gawa. But 80% of the sexual abuse of Doa in Faigawa is after FAI Gava. So if you put a policy during FAIKA, then uh where's the policy to protect the women when the Fai Gava man is dropping them off to their house? That is where Dowa are being raped, is after FAI Gava. Because these men are drunk, and that's what happens when you talk dirty. Your mind becomes dirty, and then you when you take that doa home, you either force her if she doesn't want to, or you have an affair with her. And that is why banning Doa is the only solution to protect these women from being sexually abused. Tonga men can serve their own cover, and that is the whole point of the campaign, is to ban Doa from regular Fai Gava and regular cover clubs. So this video by ABC Pacific, it was just, you know, just to help push the agenda of the Fai Gava man, that, you know, it it's helping the men. It's all about the men, men, men. What about the women? There's not much discussion here on the side of women. Only uh, you know, a slight mention, but it's not they don't fully dive into it, you know, like how they are praising how FAI Gava is helping the men here.

SPEAKER_03 36:55

So I need to also be um responsible to make sure that such behaviors are not tolerated under their watch.

SPEAKER_04 37:03

So easy for people to say, you know, these men have to change their behavior. These men are drunk. You cannot control men who are drunk. It's just like alcohol and drugs. When they are drunk in alcohol, when they are high on drugs, you can't control them. Because their mind is everywhere. So why are you putting one woman in a room full of drunk men? That is what's bound to happen. Women will be sexually abused, sexually harassed. I don't know how many times I have to preach this for our people to understand. It's like they're deaf or something, they just don't understand what I've been trying to say from day one. Anyways, now that uh they didn't really cover everything, I'm gonna end this episode with a few testimonies of women who have been um sexually abused. You know, there are so many testimonies I haven't read out of these women, so I am going to read them out. Um just to complete the video of the Pacific Media, because they didn't really dive deep into the sexual assault of the Doa, so I'm gonna dive deep into it to end this episode with. So this is some of the testimony. Hi Agahnessy, please keep me anonymous. I previously commented on one of your posts, it took me a while, but I deleted my comment because I don't want to give out hints, it's me. I felt like I needed this off my chest as it's killing me slowly, not being able to tell anyone. I wasn't going to tell my story, because how everyone will judge me, but looking at everyone else's experience breaks my heart. My first ever doa was in West Auckland, suggested by my uncle. It wasn't a big kalapu, but just a few men. It was alright, they were actually kind and welcoming. I had been working two BT chops at the time, but took any side jobs I could. My uncle said a kalapu in Bemua needed a doa. I don't know if the kalapu is still going there because I hope to God it isn't. I didn't really want to at the time, but being the only bread maker in the house and having a sick mother and disabled little brother, I could only do as I could to help. I agreed to doa, thinking it would be like the one out west. My uncle took me to the club in Bemua. This kalapu was way a lot different and a lot of men drinking cover. I felt uneasy at first, but my mom and brother were on my mind that we needed this money. My uncle walked me to the door and introduced me to one of the men and told me he'll pick me up later on around three-ish. The man that I was introduced to told me to just go in. When I looked back, he was leaving too, so I go through and already I can hear mumbling from the men about me. One man in particular kept staring at me, putting his tongue out and licking his fat fingers like he was some kind of animal. He was like in his late fifties, maybe. He was giving me the creeps, but I just sat there and ignored him. Whilst everyone was making jokes about how pretty I was, why am I still single? I should go home with them. The usual tongue and man jokes that they think is funny. I just shrugged it and continued to serve them. There was a young guy sitting next to me. He was alright. He was asking me my name and where I was from. I knew he was making convo, but I was too shy to speak to him. I can't remember his name, but it was either Pete, Pita or Pila. All of a sudden, old guy that had been staring at me since I got there suddenly speaks loudly and tells everyone that he's taking me home. They all laughed. He got up, told the young guy sitting next to me to move before he kicks him. And when he said close, like really close, that's when he started to rub his hand on the side of my thigh. And he'll whisper if I like that, that he knows I like it and if I was getting wet. Everything spoken in tonguin. He also had a ring on his hand, so he was married. I know I had a choice to get up and get out, but it wasn't as simple and easy as people think. It was about home time that I thought. Everyone was slowly leaving. I was told by one of the guys that my uncle told him to drop me when his wife picks him up. Old guy heard this and told him I'm alright, he'll drop me off. I insisted I go with the other guy and his wife, but he just gave a look to the guy, raised his eyebrows and his head to leave. When I saw the guy walking out, I tried to get up and follow, but the old guy was holding down my piva, my skirt, and telling me to sit down or I'll get nothing like he owned me, but I needed the money. The kalapu was slowly getting less and less and I didn't know what to do. Everyone would just say something and walk out. I was getting scared. I didn't have my phone on me because my uncle said it was bad menace if I used my phone during cover, so I left it in his car. I remember the last circle of men there was about seven to eight men left. One of the guys offered me an energy drink. I took it, but didn't take any notice to it, being already open and drank from it. Now this is the part where some may think I'm making this up and the reason why I don't talk about it, because anyone would think it's out of a movie, but reality is I never thought in my life I'd be drugged. A few minutes after I drank from that energy drink, I blacked out. I have no recollection to whatever happened after that night. But when I woke up, I wasn't at a kalapu. I was in a garage. I could feel something was wrong. I felt sore from both sides of my private areas and slight bleeding. The side of my mouth had been torn a bit, and I had no underwear or bra on. I know in my heart they had raped me. The man that I last saw at the Gava were the same man sitting in the garage. I asked where I was and what did they do to me. Why am I here? And it was like no one wanted to talk to me or even look. But I heard one of the men laugh a little while speaking, saying, to go ask Missy. I'm guessing that's the old guy's name, but not sure. I was crying, I could barely walk, and when I walked out the old guy was there with an older woman. I turned to her hoping she'd see that I'm a girl and help me. I asked where am I? And if she has a phone that I can please use, but she gave me a look that I'll never forget, like it's stuck in my head. The kind of bitchy look when you're disgusted and scrunch your face. The old guy said, Ha ugoi get the do hoogihe. Like come so we can go back to the garage, like it was something funny. Then continued to say, I'll gekau damaga bao get that if you he said, Go back to the garage if you're not satisfied. And they both chuckled. I shouted at him and said, What the F did he just say that? I'm going to report them all to the police. He got mad real quick and told me, Al Otake police, Silky, he said, Go and call the police and we'll do the same thing to your mother. I know some might say I should have called the cops or told my uncle, and I didn't want my mum to worry while being sick. For one I had blacked out, who would believe me? They are worried against mine alone. And being at that age, I was actually scared they would come around and do that to mum. I have been traumatized from that day till today. I don't remember the exact place I woke up at, but it was a house with a garage on the side in a long driveway near a mountain or filled rugby filled with a small mountain and bushes. I know it's no help, but that's what I could see before I collapsed near it. And woke up at my uncle's and apparently they must have told my uncle I was drunk and they had been trying to bring me home. So they just let me drink 'cause I was apparently causing a scene, which is why my uncle said to me he drops me off and I go embarrass him whilst getting drunk. Sometimes I wish I had the guts to speak up back then, and if there were any other daughters that this happened to, I know I shouldn't be the one to say this because I couldn't do it myself, but please speak up. Report those sick F's. I have a sleep disorder, what the doctor called pavor nocturnes and chronic sleep deficiency. I had very bad episodes till I got married and had kids. Everything slowed down, like they were keeping me safe. I haven't been back to Bermuda since that night. I also haven't seen my uncle since I was seventeen. That's when I started Doa. I'm now thirty-two. This is my testimony and I share it in hopes it helps your campaign to spread awareness of these government and what they are capable of. This is so heartbreaking. Seventeen years old. And they raped her in the Karage. And that is why I say 80% of the sexual abuse of Doa doesn't happen during FAI Gava. It happens after FAI Gava, when Doa gets dropped off. Um, I have another testimony. I would like to first begin by thanking you for all that you are doing for women girls all over the world. It reaches way beyond our people's shores. Women girls are being essayed globally sexually abused. By you starting with our own women girls, Doa, it will be far reaching and will go beyond US. I have stood up for you amongst my own circles and have spoken up on your behalf. I feel that it's my duty, as I am an advocate for women girls in my own community. I belong to a women's movement in which I would like to keep their names anonymous because I'm the only Polynesian on the panel. This story I'm about to share is my mom's story, may she rest in peace. This is why I'm asking for my identity to be withheld to protect my moms. Maybe one day I'll be able to write a book about mom and will be okay with revealing the people involved. Mom shared with me years ago about what happened to her in Tonga. She was attending a Bible college at the time of her attack, and it was around Christmas time. She was asked by a family member if she could come in Doha while she was on break. She had never done it before and her parents would have never agreed. She was in her early twenties, so she was on her own and could make her own choices. She didn't think anything would come of it, since she trusted her family member. This would have been over 40 years ago, so a very long time ago. Some of the homes didn't have indoor plumbing, so in order to use the bathroom, you'd have to go out to a separate single standing store. Everything seemed to be going fine until she had to go to the bathroom. Her family member walked her out and then went back inside. Shortly, after she was coming out, she felt someone try to grab her from behind. My mom played many sports, so she was very young. She fought him off and was able to get away. When she looked back to see who it was, she realized it was an esteemed member of the government, Hoiki, the royals. And yes, she told me his name. She ran straight to her uncle's office in town. He worked for the government. Back in those times it was a very shameful accusation. Mom is grateful her uncle believed her and he sent some men over to the home where the Faigawa was happening. They waited for this man to come out and he was told if he ever went near my mom again, he would now be dealt with. He of course denied it and even had the nerve to say my mom came on to him. He even tried to use his royalty as if that gives him rights to my mom. What a pig. The man told him who my mom's uncle is and that he would stop at nothing to bring my mom justice if he forced his hand. The moral of the story, Akanesi, is that this has been an ongoing problem since forever ago. My mom did say that the men were very respectful, but inside where they were being monitored, what if for years there were these perverts under the influence of cover, attacking the doa when she would leave to go to the bathroom or beg then they would walk back home, since in Tonga most lived nearby. I hope Mom's story will empower women from the older generation to speak up and be finally able to tell their stories. I'll be forever grateful my mom didn't take her story to her grave and trusted me enough, loving me more to show me her courage, her strength, in this powerful way. She was one of the lucky ones that got away from a pervert who was clearly under the influence of cover. Was he different sober? I doubt it, because some don't need an excuse to be perverted. Hats off to you and to your cause Akanesi. Don't ever let up, give up or give in to the many naysayers, haters, opposition, demonic evildoers, enemies. You are a demon slayer, a servant of truth, doing the Lord's work. Oategelotosi. Something my mom would always tell me, I believe in you and I'm cheering you on from my little corner of the world. Owategelotosi means don't be discouraged. So see? This is what I've been talking about. You put a policy in place for the thought because Fai Cava is not like the bar, you know, the nightclubs where there are securities standing outside the nightclubs to protect both men and women inside and outside if anything happens. But with Fai Cava there's no security standing outside, and there's no security inside. So with one woman there, Fai Gava men can do anything they want to the woman. So that is what I I kept saying, that banning Do'a is the only story. And as you can see here, it's been 40 years. It has been going on 40 years ago of women being sexually abused, and for how long that do'a has started in the regular Gava clubs, that is where the sexual abuse started in Fai Gawa. So I received this testimony early this year when the noise around, you know, the Doa in FaiGava happened. So this testimony came in and it says, Hi Akanesi, thank you for bringing light to the harmful realities that exist within some FAIGA spaces in the Tongan community. For far too long, the voices of many victims have been silenced through the misuse of the so-called culture card to justify behavior that is harmful and deeply wrong. I sincerely ask, which pillar of Tongan culture is being upheld by those who have violated Doa within Faikava Kalapu? While this does not reflect all Fai Gava Kalapu, it is vital that the harm experienced by victims is neither minimized nor dismissed. Please do not stop the work you are doing. Continue to speak for the unheard, for the silent victims, and for those whose lives have been permanently impacted by what they endured. I pray that this work will encourage families and communities to step up, to put aside pride, status and self-interest, and to prioritize the protection of victims. Too often, silence is maintained to protect those with status or leadership within the community, driven by fear that truth telling will bring shame or disgrace upon families, while accountability is met with hostility rather than responsibility. When this matter was raised with those involved and with members of the Fai Gava group, our family was met with statements such as, Doa is meant to help ease our burden, and you did that for us. No one will believe your family, and you will bring shame upon your family if you go to the police. We were also told that no one would want our daughter, sister, or niece, that she was now dirty, and that the community would not believe us. These responses caused further harm and reinforced the fear of speaking out. Our statements have been submitted to the police, and since then we have faced hostility and condemnation from the community. We have had enough of this. We now stand firmly for our loved ones who were violated by these heartless individuals, and we will no longer remain silent in the face of injustice. As for the other noise, God knows and God sees. There is only one judge and he does not discriminate. We will continue our healing journey through therapy and the support of medical professionals. We honor the silence of victims and acknowledge those who walk alongside us in this process of healing. Thank you again, Aganesi. Submitted anonymously, a family member of Atoa who was violated within the Fikava setting and who has experienced fear of community retaliation for speaking the truth. We truly cannot thank you enough for this platform, Aganesi. We continue to pray for God's protection over you and for the strength to keep going in this work because it is not easy. We stand firm in God, trusting that He is always working in the unseen. Please feel free to share this on your platform anonymously. My sister sent her love your way. With teary eyes, she feels hurt. And this is why I continue to speak against Doa and fighting to ban Doa. And you know what's funny? These people have the nerve to comment it on Facebook, on social media, and ask why didn't they go to the police? Report it to the police. Facebook is not a platform, you know, for you to come into and then when the family goes and report it to the police, then you condemn the family, you shame the family. Those times of shaming women who have been raped, who have lost their virginity, those times are over. You know, I mean if single men are going with married women and you know, women who have children, so many children, and men are still going with them, so why are you trying to shame someone who was raped? It wasn't her decision to be raped and uh take her virginity. So um, thank you so much for listening. I hope you learned something today. And um just uh advice to the Pacific media for those of you in the media who haven't contacted me. I am not that scary. I am open for dialogue on this issue. So don't be afraid to reach out. I am not that scary. Thank you so much for listening. I hope you have a lovely weekend. Oh, I forgot to mention that it's been over 2,000 signatures now on the Bendoa petition. So thank you so much for all of you who have signed. For those of you who haven't signed, please go and sign the petition to Bendoa. Non Tongans or Tongants are welcome to sign it. So go now and sign the petition so we can fight to Bendoa and protect our women and children. So thank you very much and God bless.