30.1 Why Just Understanding the Problem Isn't Solving the Problem

Season 3, Episode 1: Why Understanding the Problem Isn't Solving the Problem 

For years, many of us have believed that awareness is the key to change. 

If we can understand why we feel what we feel, react how we react, or struggle where we struggle, then transformation should follow. 

But what happens when it doesn't? 

In this episode, Lisa explores a question many women quietly carry: 

"I know what's wrong. I know where it came from. I know what God says about it. So why is it still here?" 

Awareness is valuable. Awareness is necessary. But awareness is not transformation. 

Together we'll explore the difference between recognizing a pattern and actually untangling it, why self-awareness sometimes becomes a stopping point rather than a starting point, and how many of the struggles we're fighting may actually be symptoms of something deeper. 

This episode introduces a concept we'll be exploring all season: 

The Knot. 

Because sometimes the problem we're fighting isn't the real problem at all. 

#YouTube Description 

Why Understanding the Problem Isn't Solving the Problem | Outside the Pulpit with Lisa Meador | S3 Ep1 

You've identified the pattern. You've prayed. You've studied. You've grown in awareness. 

And yet you're still asking: 

"Why is this still here?" 

In the Season 3 premiere of Outside the Pulpit, Lisa explores why awareness, while necessary, is often not enough to create lasting transformation. 

Many women know exactly what's wrong, where it came from, and even what Scripture says about it. Yet knowing and changing aren't always the same thing. 

In this episode you'll discover: 

✅ Why awareness is a starting line, not a finish line 

✅ The difference between understanding a problem and solving it 

✅ Why symptoms often disguise deeper issues 

✅ A new framework Lisa calls "The Knot" 

✅ Better questions to ask when change feels stuck 

If you've ever found yourself thinking, "I already know that, so why am I still struggling?" this episode is for you. 

Subscribe and join us as we begin Season 3 and start exploring what may be underneath the patterns we've been trying to fix for years. 

Transformation happens when insight becomes practice. The Season 3 Resource Guide was created to help you go beyond listening and begin thoughtfully applying what you're learning through reflection questions, exercises, and practical next steps.

➡ Access the Full Season 3 Companion Guide Season 3 Stop Surviving and Start Living Resource Guide - Outside The Pulpit

✍️ If reading is more your thing, I've shared a companion article on Substack that explores this topic a little deeper.  📬 Subscribe to have future reflections delivered directly to your inbox.

https://outsidethepulpit.substack.com/p/when-just-knowing-doesnt-bring-healing?r=6h1pc2&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true

Transcript

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Lisa Meador 0:42

Welcome back to Outside the Pulpit. We're going to jump right into it today. Something I've come to recognize. Just understanding the problem is not the same as solving the problem. And I've been thinking about that a lot lately for a long time. Because I'm an overthinker. I believed that if I could understand something, I could change it. If I could discover why I felt the way I felt, thought the way I thought, reacted the way I reacted, then change would naturally flow. And to be honest, that's probably the message many of us have received. You learn, you study, you understand, you gain insight, you become aware. And yet over the years, I gotta be honest, I've noticed something. Some of the most frustrated women I know are not lacking awareness. I'm talking to you. You are incredibly aware. You know the problem. You know the history. You know the scripture. You know what God says. You've prayed, you've studied, you've sought counsel, you've examined yourself. And you're still asking, why is this thing still here? Listen, that's totally me. I've been right there so many times. I'm like, oh my goodness, please don't tell me one more scripture. Please don't tell me I need to pray about it one more time. Please don't tell me I just need more faith. Like, there's something, there was just something missing that wasn't connecting the dots for me. And probably for you too, which is why I really felt passionate about putting out this episode. I think for years many of us assumed that awareness was the goal, right? Self-awareness. If I can identify it, I can fix it. If I can name it, I can overcome it, right? If I just bind that devil and curse him, it's gonna happen. I know I've been right there. If I can understand it, I can change it. And that does work in a lot of areas of life. It does. If my washing machine breaks, you know, I find the problem. If my budget isn't working, well, I know how to fix that. If my car makes a strange noise, I get to a mechanic and find a problem. But, you know, we as humans, we're not washing machines and we don't function like a spreadsheet. And that's where a lot of the people that I talk to and talk with, this is where they get discouraged because the formula that works everywhere else doesn't seem to work here in a certain area. And it's not always cause and effect. Oh boy, oh boy, it's just not always that simple. I remember a circumstance I had, and I mean, I wanted my coach to tell me if you do this, then this will happen. I've wanted my husband to tell me, if you do this, this will happen. But you know, it just didn't play out that way, and it's just not that way in life. It's just not always that way, sure, in a lot of areas, but not in every area. And that's what I'm going to talk about today. You know, there came a point when people would tell me things that I already knew. I already knew God loved me, and so do you. You already know you matter to God, you're important to Him. You trust Him. Remember, you know, who you are in Christ. I already remembered who I was in Christ. And you know what? My action really, it wasn't rebellion, and neither is yours. It's not disrespect, and it wasn't frustration with the truth. You know, for myself, my reaction was, I know this already. You know, like I was saying, I already know God loves me. I know I can trust him. He's never failed me. I know who I am in Christ. I've known these things for years. So the question, you know, wasn't whether those things were true. The question was, why wasn't my experience lining up with what I knew? And you know, I know there's some of you out there asking the very same thing. I'm sure I'm not the only one that's ever asked that question. Have you ever had someone give you an answer before that you already knew? It can be incredibly frustrating. Look, these are good-hearted people, so I'm not throwing shade. I'm just simply sharing my experience because I say this a lot. I I've been a human being for all my life. And I've come across all kinds of people just like you have. But this was something that, you know, just in some of my experiences, that, you know, people give me an answer that I already know. Not because it wasn't true and not because it wasn't helpful, but because it wasn't actually addressing the question that I was asking. And many times the question never was, does God love me? The question, really, as a believer in Christ, is why am I still struggling? Hey, I could drop the mic right there and leave it be and let y'all just ponder that for a while. Why am I still struggling? Why am I still reacting this way? Why does this still hurt? Why do I keep repeating this pattern? Why isn't what I know becoming my lived experience? Look, I I've been around ministry, I've been around church, I've been around believers for the majority of my life. I'm pretty sure I've heard about all there is to hear. I don't know, somebody could still surprise me. And I have counseled with some of the most godly, mature people, but there were some times that I just could not peg the problem. Nothing I was being counseled with would resonate. And somewhere along the way, I began noticing a pattern, not just with me, but with other people out there, high capacity people that are drowning in awareness. I'm like, oh my goodness, please don't tell me one more time. Not because awareness is bad. You know, awareness is wonderful, awareness is necessary, but where's the answer to this awareness? Where's the resolution to this awareness? So awareness, this is what I've kind of, you know, come to understand. Awareness is often just the beginning. That's just the starting place of healing. Awareness is really not the transformation. That's just the doorway, if you will. Knowing what you're doing is not the same as changing what you're doing. I'm gonna say it again. Knowing what you're doing is not the same as transformation, as changing what you're doing, as changing who you are. Knowing why you're struggling is not the same as freedom. Just knowing why is not what's making you free. The truth makes you free. Knowing where a wound came from is not the same as healing from it. All of these things, these are the doorway, the starting point. Seeing the problem does not automatically solve the problem. And yet many of us unconsciously believe if we can understand it, we can fix it. I'm raising my hand right now because goodness gracious, oh my, I can so see that in myself, so strong. And what when that doesn't work, we often turn the frustration on ourselves. Something must be wrong with me. The good old self-condemnation, right? The big ball of blame comes, you know, bouncing, ricocheting off whatever the problem is, right back at us. You know, something must be wrong with me. Maybe I don't have enough faith. Yes, I have heard that before. Maybe I haven't prayed enough. Yes, I've actually heard that before. Maybe I'm not trying hard enough. I've been told that as well. Maybe I'm missing some piece of information. You know, there could be something to that right there, but not in the way it's been thrown at me. Let me put it that way. But what if information isn't, you know, entirely what's missing here? You know, James gives us a fascinating picture. He talks about a man looking into a mirror, and the mirror works perfectly. The mirror does its job, it shows him exactly what is there. The mirror isn't the problem, the problem comes after that. The man sees himself clearly and then walks away. So, in other words, you know, just seeing and changing are not the same thing. And I wonder how many of us have been standing in front of mirrors for years. Everywhere we turn, right? We're seeing, we're recognizing, we're understanding, we're analyzing, we're explaining, we're identifying. Maybe, just maybe let me float this idea. Maybe we've become experts in self-awareness. Maybe we know exactly why we do react the way we do. Maybe we know exactly where the struggle comes from. Maybe we can explain it to other people. This is because we're experts at it. Maybe we can in, you know, even explain it to ourselves. But something interesting can happen when we've known the explanation for a long time. Sometimes our explanation becomes a stopping point rather than the starting point. You know, we can say, I already know why I do that. And then we stop asking questions. We know the history, we know the story, we know where it started, but perhaps we have not yet asked, why is this thing still here? Because understanding where a pattern began and understanding why it continues are not always the same thing. It's just not. And this is a topic we'll we'll start to get into more and more. And yeah, we're frustrated, right? Because awareness itself was never designed to produce that transformation, to produce that change. It was designed to reveal the needs of transformation. That's all. The mirror really can't fix your hair, guys. The mirror simply shows you what's there. I mean, look at it and think about it like that. It's not the mirror's job to fix you. You got to do that. And by that, we're gonna get into that. I understand it's the spirit of God within us. So, you know, don't wander too off, you know, too far off from me here. Stay stay rooted and centered. I understand it's the work of the Spirit of God within us. And that's we're gonna get further into that. I I just want to address this topic the the way it is right now. You know, Paul writes about knowing what he wants to do and not doing it, knowing what he does not want to do and doing it anyway. What I find interesting is that Paul didn't have an information problem. Paul knew God. Come on, he was the apostle Paul, he knew scripture, he he knew the old testament, he knew the law, and y'all, he wrote what we referenced today. He wrote scripture. So, you know, the man knew a thing or two, he understood truth. Yet, yet, he describes attention every human being recognizes. Awareness was not his problem, transformation was his challenge, which could actually be encouraging. I want you to be encouraged because if awareness alone were enough, Paul would have never described that struggle. So here's something else I've been noticing. Most of us spend our lives fighting symptoms. We fight anxiety, we fight overeating, we fight people pleasing, we fight perfectionism, we fight procrastination, we fight resentment, we fight fear, and the list could go on and on. But what if those things aren't the actual problem? What if they're attached to something deeper? What if they're attached to, I call it like a knot, because I what I call things when I'm working through it, I need to untangle it. I need to untangle the way I'm thinking about it. I need to untangle the knot and get to the bottom of it, right? So we're gonna call it the knot for right now. So it's a tangled place underneath the surface, it's a deeper belief. Oh, I'm gonna get real. It's a deeper fear, a deeper grief, a deeper wound, a deeper misunderstanding, something hidden underneath the behavior. Because if we're pulling on the loose ends while ignoring the knot, we're eventually going to get exhausted and we're we're just not gonna resolve the problem. Let's say someone struggles with resentment. Yeah, I can raise my hand here because I've sure had my boatload fair share of it. So, you know, I can be incredibly honest about that. So let's say someone struggles with resentment. Resentment was the symptom. I can say that hands down for myself. Resentment was the symptom. Resentment was not the not for me, for sure. Hey, I've had resentment in a lot of areas. Okay, I'm just gonna refer to one. Uh, but the resentment for me was actually a grief that I felt. How about that? And uh a loss that I felt, and that was more painful than the resentment. Resentment was a great avoidance behavior. It was so much easier to just resent a situation or resent a person than actually going to the grief, the hurt layer before, and actually dealing with that hurt. And I'm not going to get too much further into that specific uh today. I'm gonna keep going because today I really just want to hit a lot of high points. Um, the not might be fear, it might be disappointment. The not might be an unmet expectation, an expectation that was never fulfilled. If all we do is fight the resentment, we never touch what's underneath it, what's causing us to act out like we are. The same thing can happen with overeating, and you guys know I've talked to y'all a bit about that. The food may not be the not. The food is just the symptom. The not really, it could be exhaustion, or it could be loneliness, again, fear, again, that with unmet needs, and you're just self-soothing by eating. Or you know what, if you're incredibly sleep-deprived, um, you're trying to solve an energy problem by constantly reaching for high-energy foods. I mean, kind of, you know, can you connect some dots here to what I'm seeing saying? It's not so much the, you know, the food is the problem. The root of that problem is, hey, you might need to get some more rest and sleep here, so your brain isn't in a fog and feeling tired all day and driving your body to crave and reach for energy foods. I'm just saying these things are options, things for you to think about and consider. Until we identify the knot, we're often fighting the wrong battle. Now, all of this might sound discouraging at first, but I actually think it's incredibly hopeful. It's so empowering because many of us have concluded that if awareness haven't produced, has not produced transformation, then we must be failing. Yeah, that's the self-blame again, right? We must be failures, but what if that's not true? What if awareness did exactly what it's supposed to do? What if the mirror did its job? What if awareness brought you to the starting line? What if recognizing the pattern is progress? What if understanding the problem is progress? What if seeing it clearly is progress? Maybe the frustration comes because we've mistaken the starting line for the finish line. And once we stop expecting awareness, the mirror, to do the job that it was never designed to do, we become free to ask better questions. Guys, early, early, early in this podcast, I believe I said, you know, in a very early episode, something along the lines of, if you want a better answer, ask a better question. The quality of your question is going to get the quality of your answer, and that's going to be the quality of your result. You know, so we can be asking questions like, what is this protecting? What is this solving? What am I afraid would happen if this weren't here? What is still driving this today? Those kinds of questions, oh boy, they often lead us closer to the knot. Y'all, you know I'm all about real living, real life here. Maybe the reason you've been frustrated isn't because you don't know enough. Maybe it isn't because you lack faith. Maybe. Just maybe it's because you've missed some secret answer. Maybe you've been trying to untangle a knot while only looking at the loose ends. Any of y'all ever, you know, whether you're a man or a woman, somewhere in your life you've dealt with a knot. If it's an extension cord, a hose, uh a ball of yarn, a child's tangled hair, whatever, there's a knot, and just dealing with the loose end isn't going to deal with it. You've ultimately got to get to that inner part where the actual tangle is. So maybe, just maybe, awareness wasn't supposed to finish the work. Maybe awareness was simply showing you where the work begins. For years, I believe that understanding the problem would solve the problem. Y'all, I can't even say that enough, but I've begun, this is something in reflection, looking back, I'm beginning to see. But what I've discovered is that awareness is the starting line. That's not the finish line. Awareness helps us see, it helps us recognize, it helps us identify, it helps us locate the knot. But awareness alone, just all by itself, just pointing to the knot isn't gonna untangle it. It just won't. And but that awareness, that's where the transformation begins. And that's where we're gonna go in the next few episodes. We're gonna get beneath some of these symptoms. We're gonna get beneath some of these behaviors, some of these frustrations, right? We're gonna go looking for that knot. We're gonna go looking for it, and we're gonna begin to tackle a question that many women secretly carry, not just women, men and women, many people carry this question. How come I've prayed about it for years and it's still here? I know I said the unsayable, but how come? Because that question alone might not mean what you think it means. Can you hear me right there? You've prayed about it for years. Why is it still here? That question might not mean what you think it means. So you don't have to be afraid of it. That's what I'm getting at. You don't have to be afraid of that, but you could be curious and embrace it because it might just maybe be the doorway to asking a much better question. Until next time.