What Really Broke Me Was My Father (Randon Floyd)

What does fatherlessness do to a man’s heart, identity, and future?

In this deeply moving episode of Dudes Without Dads, Randy Floyd shares his story of growing up without a father, navigating trauma, identity confusion, addiction, and emotional pain—until a life-changing encounter with Jesus at 16 redefined everything.

This conversation explores the long-term effects of father absence, the orphan mindset many men live with, and how God heals father wounds by stepping in as the Father we never had. Randy’s testimony speaks directly to men who feel lost, unseen, or unsure of who they are—and to parents who wonder if their mistakes define their children’s future.

This episode covers:

• Growing up without a dad and its impact on masculinity
• How father wounds lead to addiction, pride, and broken relationships
• Identity struggles in men raised without fathers
• God’s heart for the fatherless
• Healing emotional trauma through faith
• Why presence is more powerful than perfection in parenting

Dudes Without Dads is a podcast dedicated to helping men become the fathers they never had—through honesty, healing, and hope.

👉 Apply to share your story: https://dudeswithoutdadspodcast.com

👉 New episodes released weekly

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

I've always wanted to be fathered. I've always was looking for that presence, um, that affection, that love, going to, you know, gangs in the streets and being around drugs and big muscles, you know, Arnold Schwarzenegger and and Predator.

SPEAKER_02 0:14

Like these were my ideas of what a man looked like.

SPEAKER_00 0:18

Drugs on the table, alcohol on the table.

SPEAKER_02 0:20

And then as I got older, I became a drug dealer. Henry from Goodfellas was kind of my ideology of what a man looks like.

SPEAKER_00 0:27

A lot of my behaviors and how I was living when I was in the world and living in sin, it all went back to fatherlessness.

SPEAKER_02 0:36

Kirk Rochelle said it best a lie believe functions as truth, even when it's a lie.

SPEAKER_00 0:42

I knew there had to be more to the story.

SPEAKER_02 0:45

The thing that you fear the most is actually the thing that can heal you the most.

SPEAKER_00 0:51

Jesus will not hesitate to show up for you where you are right now because he did it for me at 16, bro. You are never too far gone, man.

SPEAKER_02 1:00

Welcome to Dudes Without Dads, the show that trains men how to become the dads they never had. Well, let's start off. What's your name and where are you from?

SPEAKER_00 1:12

Yeah, man. My name is Raandon Floyd. Um, and I am from uh Hendersonville, Tennessee. Um, and I currently live in Springfield, Tennessee. Um, and I work at the Bridge Church in Spring Hill.

SPEAKER_02 1:23

So well, for someone who's never been to Hendersonville, Tennessee, how would you describe it to them?

SPEAKER_00 1:30

Man, that's crazy. I've never been asked that question before. Hendersonville, the best way to describe it, it is it's safe, a lot of lakes. Um, it's very community-centered. So if you go to Hendersonville, you'll see, man, everyone talks to everyone, everyone knows everyone, it's very friendly. Um, and uh yeah, man, it's uh it's one of those cities I would recommend for anyone that you know just got married, you want to you know live a simple life, you want, you know, you're looking for a community-based um city. That's how kind of describe it for sure. It's very nice.

SPEAKER_02 2:04

I appreciate you sharing that. And let's start with the very beginning and let's go back to your childhood. What was it like growing up as a child?

SPEAKER_00 2:15

Man, well, there's a lot of emotions and thoughts that come to that. But if I were to say to kind of start off what that was like, um, man, I've always been a kid of dreams. I've always been a kid that was very adventurous, you know. I was always curious about life. I wanted to just know, man, what was out there. Um, and you know, growing up, you know, there were just a lot of things that I that were missing in my life, you know. Like I I have teen I had teenage parents. My mom had me when she was 14 years old. My dad was uh 16. And so having um teenage parents um as a kid, you can only imagine like what that brought, right? The the trauma, the loss, the the things that you grew up not having, the presence, the attention. And so um, man, it was it was rough, but it wasn't. It's so weird how to describe it. But like I would say, like growing up, I I struggled more internally than I did externally. Like I've always had clothes on my back, food on the table. I've always been in school, never was in the streets, like nothing like that. But there was always some soul searching. I feel like I always longed for like love and purpose and identity um and and and presence, you know, and I just never got that in my childhood um because of the brokenness that happened within um my family. So um, yeah, man, I've always been a child of innocence, but because of my uh where I come from, it I feel like that was taken away for sure.

SPEAKER_02 3:48

Yeah, I don't know if I've had conversation with someone that had a mom and a dad that were under 16. Um when you look back, what would be some of the highs and lows of the memories you have?

SPEAKER_00 4:02

Man, just the lows, just seeing my mom struggle, um, you know, just financially and trying to be both the the father of the mom in the household, you know, like being a teenager and being a parent, I can only imagine what that weight is like, the responsibility is like. And so I think the lows was definitely seeing her in tears, crying and just struggling and trying to figure it all out while, you know, she had a relationship with her, her mom and her dad, which is my grandmother and grandpa. Um, but it was it was very hard. Um times where I didn't think that, you know, she would come home, you know, I'll be with my grandmother, you know, when she had to go to school and work. Um, it was tough. I'm not gonna lie, that was probably just some a crazy low for sure. Um, didn't know what to expect, didn't know if she would honestly make it, if I'm being honest. Um, having a kid that young and raising him as a teenager, especially with my dad, too. I mean, just a just a lot of man brokenness. Man, even my dad, like I mean, just trying to figure out how to be a father when he wasn't even fathered himself. Um, it was just a lot of just missing pieces. I really didn't didn't know if it was gonna work or not. So definitely a low. And I say high, it's kind of hard to go back. I can't really think of any high moments, but I mean, I guess the only high was just knowing that I'll be able to see them again and be able to be around them. Um, at least I knew that they were still alive and they were gonna be in my life again eventually. So I don't know. It it's it's very hard to pinpoint the highs, but I could definitely see the lows for sure. A lot of struggles.

SPEAKER_02 5:41

Let me try to to nail a couple of specifics because obviously, you know, I do know what it's like to have a mom that's young, but not have a mom and a dad that are young. Are there events that mark your childhood as far as core memories?

SPEAKER_00 6:01

See yeah, I would say not like towards me specifically, but it still affected me because I was a kid. Um, seeing my mom just get abused really bad mentally, and and sometimes like even physically, like just seeing the people that she hung around and when she was in the world in the in the streets trying to fulfill that void when her and my dad, you know, split. It was very discouraging and disheartening to see my mom um around men and people in her life that just really weren't really for her, that wanted something from her. Um, that really, that really wounded me as a kid to see that. And you would think that in most stories like that, you'll think that, oh, the kid is being affected by it, he's being physically abused or whatever. Like I didn't thank God I didn't have to experience that, but I saw it up close and it was just very hard to see. And also seeing my dad go into, you know, gangs in the streets and being around drugs and gangster disciples. I mean, I always say like I just remember seeing people in and out of our house every week, you know, a group of people there, demon barely knew who they were. They knew who I was because they knew my dad and stuff like that. It was just so much broke, like so much hurt there, so much trauma, you know, things that you didn't want to see, drugs on the table, alcohol on the table, you know, weed on the table, you know, like just stuff like that. It just I think about little Randon from ages zero to ten, like it's just like I didn't, I can't believe I had to see that, you know. And so yeah, that was definitely some core memories in one, like just seeing that I saw that a lot in my home for sure.

SPEAKER_02 7:47

Was your dad in the picture?

SPEAKER_00 7:49

He wasn't. Well, so he he in reality he wasn't. So him and my mom, they split a long time ago. Um, and it was it was very hard. And what's so crazy is I didn't know the full truth of like why he was absent, what really happened. I for the longest I only heard one side of the story. Um, and that was my mom's side. And so I didn't find out the the the reality of what it actually was until I was 18 of what actually took place um with that.

SPEAKER_02 8:26

So yeah, what was what did you think was reality and what was reality?

SPEAKER_00 8:31

What I thought I knew something in me. If you if you if you know me, like I I love my dad a lot. Like my dad is like me. Like I've I love Randon Sr. I'm a junior, by the way. Just put that out there in the chat. Um, something in me, Josh, like it never felt right. Like I knew there had to be more. You know, you know it is to have kids. Like there, there's always this curiosity that they like, we can see through the cracks, we can see through the mundane, the fake. I knew there had to be more to the story than what I was told. And so how it was painted to me was oh, my dad just wasn't didn't want anything to do with my life. He didn't want to be present, he walked out. I couldn't believe that for some reason. I I don't know. I don't know if it was like a God thing. I don't know if it was just me being a child of anything. I knew there was something missing. And the reality was it was both parties' fault, not just one. But I felt like I was being exposed to this victim mentality of what you hear, especially what you hear a lot in in black households and in black communities, is it was the dad's fault, it was his fault. That's it. And that's not the case for everybody, you know. That that's a that's a that's a tactic of you know, pride manipulation. And I felt like as a kid, as a teenager, I was exposed to that. And so yeah, I mean, I always I knew it had to be both both parties and not one. And I knew I couldn't settle with that reality of just, oh, he just wanted nothing to do with me. That was a lie. Um, that was a lie. And so yeah, yeah, it really when when I tell you, I wasn't as surprised when I found out the truth. I was actually relieved that, oh, what I've been feeling all of these years, I was right, you know. So, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:11

You know, growing up, did you have anybody that stepped in as a father figure? I want to thank you for taking time to listen to this story. And if there's something inside of here that is adding value to you, I want you to stop and hit subscribe. I am on mission to help men become the dads they never had. Many of us struggle with father wounds, addictions, identity issues, and really what we need is we need a model. We need to see people that have broken the patterns and come alongside of them. I want to simply invite you to join me on the journey. Every Thursday, we're gonna release a new episode. Each episode is gonna help you and others become the dads they never had. Hit subscribe and share with a friend. Now let's get back to the story.

SPEAKER_00 11:00

Um, for the longest, no, um, I spent a lot of my life living like an orphan. Um, and and this actually, you know, ties a lot into my testimony of my relationship with God. But um, you know, I've always wanted to be fathered. I've always was looking for that presence, um, that affection, that love, that attention. Um, and even, and I would say, even for the longest, even when I got saved, and I'll talk touch more about that in my story later, um, there were still some orphan wounds that the Lord had to heal. So even though I was a Christ follower, I still felt that fatherlessness, right? There was some trauma and some wounds that God had to work through because of father's absence. Not exactly the pain that my father caused me, but because of his absence, it led to pain internally, just just all the more. So um, yeah, man, I didn't I didn't have it for the longest time.

SPEAKER_02 11:52

When did you first realize that you didn't even have a dad? And it was kind of connecting to these ideas of being an orphan.

SPEAKER_00 12:00

Yeah, a couple things. Um, one, I knew there was there was a lot, there was a lot of triggers that happened during that point. So the first trigger was I would see young people who were believers have fathers in their life. So, like godly fathers, men who love the Lord, that triggered me because I didn't have a father in my life who loved the Lord, who loved Jesus, who was present in my life. So I think when I saw young people, especially young men who had earthly fathers, who were good fathers, godly fathers, it triggered something in me, like, whoa, like I'm missing that. Then I would say, second, um, the biggest one was when I realized that a lot of my behaviors and how I was living when I was in the world and living in sin, it all went back to fatherlessness. And because I didn't receive that from a father, I'm seeking the things of the world to I guess like sustain that that fatherly, that fatherly care. And that's what kind of that's what I meant by how I was living like a war from sound.

SPEAKER_02 13:05

When you were trying to figure out what it looked like to be a man, what was your definition of what a man looked like when you didn't have one to look at?

SPEAKER_00 13:15

Yeah. Um, and I'll I'll speak this from a cultural point of view, if I can. Um, I think how I was painted being a man, especially a black man growing up, is one, like you don't show your emotions. Um, you know, like men, like men are not emotional. Um, you know, being being a man, you know, you work twice as hard, you know, like especially being a black man, like you gotta work twice as hard, you know, the world is against you, you know, this that that ideology, that ideology was pushed a lot um upon my life. Um, and yeah, I mean, I mean, it, yeah, I mean, just to be to be tough and and hustle um and and find a girl, find a girl and settle with her. And uh yeah, and that that's literally, I mean, that's all I all I knew, you know. Um, but something in me, again, keep going back to that internal processing, something in me knew that that wasn't enough, that that couldn't be that couldn't be true, that couldn't be it. So I've always wrestled with my identity as a man in that aspect. Something is missing despite what I'm hearing. Um, I just couldn't receive it.

SPEAKER_02 14:27

If you were a teenager and you were to have a poster of a dude that you wanted to be like, you know, from a culture standpoint, who would have been on your wall?

SPEAKER_01 14:41

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 14:42

Um, and does this person have to be like someone that's like known or I'm trying to figure out man, I never had that question before.

SPEAKER_02 14:53

I want you to think about this. Like when I was a kid, uh you know watching Rambo, uh, you know, or Rocky Four, I wanted to be Sylvester Salone. So my idea of a man was big muscles, you know, Arnold Schwarzenegger and and Predator, like Top Gun. These were my ideas of what a man looked like. And then as I got older, I became a drug dealer. And Henry from Goodfellas was kind of my ideology of what a man looks like, and I didn't have another one to look like. So I'm wondering did you have a an image of hey, if I can do that, if I act like that dude, then I'll be a man.

SPEAKER_00 15:46

Um It's crazy even as you keep asking questions about my childhood and and even being a teenager. I was I was in such a dark place with my identity and that and that orphan, you know, that orphan lifestyle, man. I if I'm being honest, I confidently I confidently can't tell you of anyone, honestly, because it it's so crazy how how deep wounds can be. And and it and it how it affects what your mind and how you process and how you see the world. I honestly can't think of anyone that I will want to say, I mean, I want to be like that because I guess for almost my whole life I've seen so many bad examples within my household and outside of my household. I just never wanted it. I mean, I told you I come from an upbringing of gangs and drugs and sexual morality is normal, right? All these things. But I told you, I never indulged in those things, but I was always around it. So I guess it's hard to paint someone and go, man, this is what I want to be. I guess because I just wasn't I wasn't intrigued by it. I I honestly can't think, honestly, because of just my my childhood. Um, so yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:11

Let me ask you this. Did you ever act tougher, cooler, louder to kind of cover up what was missing on the inside?

SPEAKER_00 17:18

Yeah, I've always been a I laugh so much because I share this all the time when I talk about my story. I've always been a passionate guy. Like if you know me, like I've always been loud, I've always been a partier, outgoing, I've always been zealous. I've always got what I wanted. I was very, I had strong ambition and I had strong convictions. Um and I was very unashamed of how I lived. And that came from a deep sense of like from pride and insecurity. Right. So, oh yeah, like I think if I wanted something, I was gonna go after it. And I was very determined, had a very strong, rebellious nature, um, very prideful. I mean, I I thought I was him, you know. That's that that's that Gen Z lingo for you guys, you know, in the chat. I thought I really thought I was, and and it came from a sense of of pride, um, of loneliness, of trying to fit in. And so, yeah, man, I carry those attributes very strongly as a teenager. Um, and I felt like I was invincible.

SPEAKER_02 18:20

Did you did you ever turn to things like addictions or anger or gangs or any unhealthy relationships to cope?

SPEAKER_00 18:27

Yeah, I would say women was a big part. Um women, um women was a big part of my identity. Um anger, it's weird with anger, which it it kind of can tie into it. I was I had a lot of anger, but it came from a sense of like more like internal anger, like pride, like ego, pettiness, like said whatever, did whatever, thought everything was funny, laughed about pain, trauma, things that people went through. So I say in that context, yeah. Um I was addicted to um pornography for a point, you know, that that was a big thing that that was exposed to my life. And then an eighth grade. And so I would say, like in that context, but definitely just worldliness, just living for the world, partying, hanging out with the wrong crowd, um, cussing up a storm. Um yeah, just so much brokenness, just just sin. Um, but no, never again, never the gangs, never did drugs, never smoked, anything like that. I don't know. I don't know how I didn't indulge in those things, but I never I never did it.

SPEAKER_02 19:46

What about your emotions? Did were you pretty even kill, or did you notice that sometimes you're on top of the world, sometimes you're on the bottom of it?

SPEAKER_00 19:56

Oh, my emotions were bad. I mean, loneliness, um, shame, condemnation, fear. I used to deal with a lot of fear. Um struggle to look at myself in the mirror and be like, man, like who am I? Um I mean, I it was very dark inside. I never showed it externally, but but even like when I was like I'll be at home in my room, like I would feel it and I would see it, like, oh man, like it's really dark in here. Um and I don't know how to process it. Um I never had not not at a point, I've never battled with suicidal thoughts, it never got to that point. Um, but definitely times where I'm just like, man, like is it worth it being alive? But actually never taking the actions to like do something about it like that.

SPEAKER_02 20:53

But have you ever done a little bit of digging into those emotions to uncover what was at the root of those emotions? You know, Kirk O Shell said it best a lie believe functions as truth even when it's a lie. And so there's times where we have emotions that drive us to places, and if you if you take enough time to process it, there's actually something that you believe about yourself or others that's actually driving those behaviors. Have you ever taken time to process this?

SPEAKER_00 21:31

Oh, yeah, 100%. Um, a lot of my anger came from the way I was treated in my home, the way that my relationship was with my mom years and years ago. That affected a lot. Um, just having that motherly absence internally for me, right? That that care, that comfort, that that love that I felt like I needed. And when I didn't receive that, right, I sought it after in women. Um loneliness because I felt like everyone that I was friends with truly didn't care about me. I felt like it was transactional relationships that weren't exactly fruitful. Um, and so that didn't help. Um, but I think a lot of it it does come from a place of fatherly absence because I never had a man in my life help me navigate the challenges of this world psychologically, mentally. What does it mean to be a man of emotions? What does it mean to be a man of strength? I it just affected me. You know, like that, honestly, that was the biggest route because I was never inherently a bad, bad kid, but uh, because of culture and in the world that I'm in, I didn't I never had that parental covering to help guide me and cultivate me in that context. So that that's that's those are the big keys that really come from that, honestly. The motherly absence of not receiving that motherly nature in my life, and then the fatherly absence of if not knowing how to be a man in the context of growing up. And so, like, how do you process that? You go to the world to seek it.

SPEAKER_02 23:19

So I appreciate you sharing that. Is there any moment where you kind of hit rock bottom where you knew something had to change?

SPEAKER_00 23:33

It was my sophomore year high school, and uh I thought it was funny to get a group of guy friends over, and we made uh a video, um, and we put pictures of girls in our school of their faces um that were considered the H's for censored language in in the chat um on social media, thought no one was gonna find out and end up getting leaked in our entire school. Um, and our entire class knew about it, and they people found out that it was me, because I did. And that's when I knew, oh my gosh, like I cannot keep living like this. So I believe that God allowed me to get caught um to show that, like, man, if I keep going down this route, um I will not be, my life is not gonna be where I want it to be. And so, yeah, man, after that video, after I got exposed through that video by doing that, that's when everything went down. Anxiety through the roof, depression up the roof, loneliness up the roof, all that. And that's when I knew, okay, how I'm living is it's it's not working. So, yeah, that was definitely the craziest moment of my high school career. Totally regret doing that. Hurt a lot of women. Um, and that was just not cool as for a guy to do. So, yeah, that was that was a wake-up call for sure.

SPEAKER_02 25:01

What what did that low part give birth to? You know, was there a moment where you experienced fresh renewal, fresh fire, or a transformational relationship?

SPEAKER_00 25:19

I'm being honest, it took time. It didn't, it didn't happen once the event happened because I didn't get saved until 2019. And when everything happened, what happened that year, that was my sophomore year of spring. So that was the spring semester of my sophomore year. I got saved in the fall of my junior year. So I spent almost the entire spring and summer, I guess, trying to recalibrate and like and like learn from what the heck that I did. And it didn't actually it didn't actually hit me until um my junior year, like, oh shoot, I actually need the Lord. Like this is this is actually what I need.

SPEAKER_02 26:04

So can you walk me through that moment?

SPEAKER_00 26:07

Oh man, woof. Dang, y'all trying to get me crying on this camera, man. Gosh, um, yeah, dude, it was unbelievable. Like, I I've heard about Jesus a lot growing up, but not at the extent of like I was raised in it. But I've always known, I guess, like there was a God. I didn't share this, but uh for the longest I convinced myself to that I was an atheist and that God wasn't real. Again, doing it for attention, pride. So I would convince, tell people that I was an atheist, I didn't believe in God. And again, that came from a deep place of hurt and pain and bitterness. And so for me, it was on a Wednesday night, and this youth pastor was preaching the gospel. Um, and there was just, there was just something different, Josh, about this man. Like when he was preaching, I kept feeling this weight, this conviction, this like, man, this presence over me as he was preaching. And uh, he had a word of knowledge moment where he was, he knew, he knew something about my life that he couldn't have known unless someone told him. The Holy Spirit revealed to him. And he was like speaking it out loud. He was like, Man, there's someone in here. Man, you've been running away from God for the longest time. You've been trying to convince yourself that he isn't real, and and you've been hearing his voice for a while, he's been calling you. Um, and and now it's your time um to give up to the Lord, and you you want this even right now, and God is it's it's tugging on your heart and you can feel his prayer. I mean, this guy was just hitting everything. And keep in mind, Josh, I'm not even saved. So I'm thinking, is he a genie? You know what I'm saying? I don't know. I don't know what this is. Like, people do this in church. It was weird. And so as he was speaking, I had tears coming down my face. Man, I was like shaking, and I looked up and I'm looking around. I'm like, why is no one else crying? Like, what's going on? I'm like wiping my tears. And uh I stood up, and these are the moments that I longed to see in youth ministry. I stood up and I yelled across the room, and I go, that's me. And Josh, like, just think about that. Like, imagine feeling that weight, like 16-year-old Randon yelling across the room, that's me. I'm who you're talking about. And I gave my life to Christ that night. Um, and it changed everything. Um, it I was weeping, I was crying. And um, you can tell that people have been praying for me for a long time to come to know Jesus. Um, you could feel the weight in the room from the leaders, the volunteers. Um, and yeah, man, I gave my life to Christ in that that night. Um it was it was supernatural, it was unbelievable. Um, and yeah, it changed everything. I mean, I was like, wow, so this is what I this is what I was missing. Wow, there's a father out there that loves me that won't walk out on me. Wow, there's a God out there that loves me for me, that can give me identity. There's a God that that wants to that wants to heal me and walk with me that that cares about me that's not transactional. So yeah, man, that really, that really changed my life. Um, unbelievable. I mean, I I can't I get chills thinking about how the Holy Spirit encountered me in the back of that room like that. That was yeah, it was crazy.

SPEAKER_02 29:27

When the Holy Spirit came in, what were some of the things in the next days, weeks, and months that Jesus would start speaking to you about? Do you have an incredible story of overcoming the home that you were raised in? Or maybe the father wounds that were placed inside your life? If so, I want to share it with other dudes without dads. Simply go to dudeswithout dadspod com and apply to be a guest on the show. The reason it's important to share your story is because when you share what God has done for you, it helps other men believe that God can do it for them, and he can. To share your story, head over to Dues Without Dads Podcast today.

SPEAKER_00 30:16

The Holy Spirit did not hesitate to reveal the parts of the Father's heart to my life, because that was the biggest thing that I needed, that I needed in my life was a father. And the Holy Spirit, I'll never forget when I got saved. That was the first thing he started to release over me and speak over me. Fatherless, like fatherly, like fatherly love, fatherly care. Shepherd, like I want to raise, I ran it. I want I I want to raise you up. I want to heal you. I want to teach you what it means to be a man after my heart. That was the identity that the father was washing over me through through Psalms, learning the life of David, studying the prophets, understanding that even when the world, even when your family walks out on you, I will be that for you. Right. And I think that, man, like it's so crazy, Josh. Like I see the fruit today, just like seeing how the Lord stepped in as my father, and uh he truly raised me up, man. And I and I see the and I see the fruit of it. You know, like he did not hesitate to father me in that place, you know, to father that young man who thought that he was an atheist and he was gonna teach him how to be a preacher, teach him how to be a man of purity, teach him how to, you know, like be a man of emotions. Well, I didn't even know that my emotions weren't sinful, that lamenting is actually biblical. No way. I could actually process my emotions, and it's I'm not it it's it's not seen as rebellion and disrespect. Like, no way. And so, yeah, man, like um, he did not hesitate to father me in that way.

SPEAKER_02 32:00

We've got a young man that's listening to this podcast, and he's in a very similar space that you were that night. What would you want to speak over him?

SPEAKER_00 32:13

Man, I don't know who you are. Um, man, I don't know what your life was like with your parents, your father, your mother, uh, whatever that may look like, but man, I say this to encourage you, and I say this prophetically, and I and I say this very strongly with faith. You are never too far gone, man. And I mean that because I thought I was too far gone. God saved that 16, grew up with teenage parents, come from a generation of gangs and and new age spirituality, was demonically influenced in my life, was, was, was living in rebellion, sexual morality. I never thought there was a way out. And even when I was exposed to Christianity and I wasn't moved by the forms of godliness of religion, man, there was something supernatural out there, man. There were there was a God out there that loved me enough to die for my sins and rescue me. And man, he did that for me at a young age. And so, I don't know where you are, man. I don't know if you need that. Man, I don't know what you're looking for, but I promise you, man, he will not hesitate. Jesus will not hesitate to show up for you where you are right now because he did it for me as 16, bro. And so I hope that, man, my story is an encouragement to you that you are never too far gone to experience, man, that redemption, that fatherly love that I got to experience as 16.

SPEAKER_02 33:42

Yeah, thank you for sharing that. And I want you to also speak to the young lady who got this pod from a friend who has found themselves to be pregnant. And they're questioning whether or not their boyfriend, they're maybe even telling parents. What would you want to speak into their lives?

SPEAKER_01 34:07

For someone who had a young mother, who has a young mother. Don't give up on your kid. Don't give up. I know it's heavy.

SPEAKER_00 34:22

I know that's weighty. You may be like random, well, I've tried everything. You carry treasure in your hands, and God will redeem the trauma, the mistakes, the disobedience that you may have had in the past. But that kid that you have or kids that you have, treasure them. Ask the Lord to bring community people into your life. I pray that the Lord will bring some type of fatherhood or some way, whatever, into your kids' lives. Like, don't give up on your kids. If I was talking to a young mother right now who was on the urge of getting rid of the kid or adoption or maybe whatever, whatever it may be, or slacking, whatever, on the urge of just ending it all like, don't give up. Because my mom had me at 14. And I'm thankful that she did not give up on me. Because look where I'm at today. Look what God has done. Because she chose to keep me, to raise me up, and rely on resources that she had to do whatever she can to give me a future. And so that's what I will tell them, man. Don't give up. Don't do it.

SPEAKER_02 35:41

I want you to imagine there's a 16-year-old dude or a dude that got a girl pregnant, and he he got this pod from a friend, and he's considering whether or not he sticks inside of that girl's life or he bounces. What would you want to say to him?

SPEAKER_00 35:59

I would say, bro, don't do it. Don't do it, man. Listen. Stay. Look, as a man, listen, we got to own up to our responsibility. We got we got to take care of what matters to us. Listen, if you, man, if if we if we took the guts to do what we did, right, to carry the responsibility, it's up to us to steward it, man. Because if you do, you are going to affect your child's future. He or she will grow up dealing with the trauma and the brokenness and the pain because of what you chose to do. Do not do it because I'm telling you, man, it happened with me. And it took me almost 16 years to just get back what was stolen from me. And it had a lot to do with the father not being there. And so just don't do it, man. Think about your kid's future or kid's future.

SPEAKER_02 37:03

What if that dude is thinking to himself that I don't want to bring up a kid to experience what I experienced. You know what would your advice be to him? Because I'm thinking there's a lot of good dudes that are listening, a lot of good ladies, and they're I don't want to do I don't want to bring a child up in the life that I lived in, and I don't even know if I'll be a good mom or dad. What would you speak into them?

SPEAKER_00 37:42

Presence is way better than absence any day, regardless of where you come from. And I stand on that. Presence is greater than absence. Even if you don't have all the answers, who does? There are plenty of people who've made mistakes, who've done things, and and and and God has made a way. The Lord will make a way.

SPEAKER_02 38:53

And I want you to know that the thing that you fear the most is actually the thing that can heal you the most. And so you don't want to run away from what you're what you fear. You want to run towards it because Randon and Joshua are actually potentially the thing that can save you in the future. And so don't believe that your child is going to be a burden because it might be the greatest blessing God has. You just have to be willing to say, I'm going to give up. Uh Randon, I don't know if I shared this with you, but you know, 35 years later, I went to my mom and said, Mom, why did you choose not to give me abortion? Mom, my dad said, I'll pay for his abortion, I won't be in his life. And at first she agreed, she was 15, and then she came back and she said, I can't do it. 35 years later, I said, Mom, why didn't you you know I it would have been a lot easier. You had no mom, no dad, you know, you had to quit school to to to give me life. Why didn't you terminate your pregnancy? And she said the following She said, I did not know if I had the capacity to love, but I had decided that if I had the ability to love, I was gonna love you. That doesn't mean everything was you know, rainbows and skills from the sky. It was hard, and we went through a lot of of difficulties, but we had each other to go through difficulties with. And so I want to encourage our listeners, anyone that even has a friend or knows somebody that is thinking about an abortion or whether or not to to to stay inside a relationship or not. You don't know what God can do. You just don't know what God can do. Brandon, I'm gonna give you final words on the pod. What would you like to say as we uh break away from the show today?

SPEAKER_00 40:53

Yeah. Thank you, Josh. Um, to all the parents out there, young or old, to all the young believers, high school, college, young adult, whatever, may my life just be one example that you are never too far gone for the love of Christ. May my life be an example that no matter what you grew up not having, the Father will not hesitate to replace those things in your life. And may my life be an example that regardless of where you come from, God has a calling and a purpose on your life because he's alive, he's real, he turned a 16-year-old atheist into a fiery, young, passionate preacher of his name. And you can't get more supernatural than that. And so, man, never neglect what God can do through your mistakes and your disobedience because he has a history of using the unlikely people, the outcasts, those who grew up having nothing, and he makes them something. And so, yeah, man, that that's what I would that's what my charge will be as we end off of the pod.

SPEAKER_02 42:03

Brandon, thank you for responding to the gospel. Thank you for sharing your story on the Dudes Without Deaths podcast. It's been a blessing, and we will see you in the future.

SPEAKER_00 42:13

Thank you, Josh. I appreciate you, man.

SPEAKER_02 42:15

Yeah, love you.

SPEAKER_00 42:16

Me too, bro.

SPEAKER_02 42:17

Forgiveness is more for you than that.

SPEAKER_00 42:20

I had inner peace for the first time in my life, it's just Jesus.

SPEAKER_02 42:25

Just Jesus.