Isolation Is Killing Men: One Veteran's Journey From Wreckage to Brotherhood

What does a man do when he has been in charge of his own life and made a complete mess of it? For "Goose," a 20-year Air Force navigator, the answer involved infidelity, depression, and becoming a man he didn't recognize. On January 1st, 2015, he surrendered everything to God — and that moment started a process that eventually led him to build one of the most powerful men's movements in the country.

In this episode, Joshua Brown sits down with Goose, founder of Men's Alliance, to talk about what it actually takes to pull a man out of isolation and into brotherhood. Men's Alliance is not a Bible study. It's not a workout group. It's a band of brothers who meet outdoors, train hard, gather around a fire, and do what most men never do anywhere — tell the truth about what's actually going on in their lives.

Goose shares some of the most powerful nights he has witnessed around that fire — a veteran whose wife just left, a father who showed up days after losing his son, and a man who confessed he was thinking about killing the person who attacked his daughter. These are the conversations that happen when men stop isolating and start being real. This episode is for every man who is white-knuckling life alone, struggling in his marriage, or slowly descending without realizing it — and needs a band of brothers before it's too late.

In this episode: — Why a decorated Air Force veteran made every bad choice a married man could make — What radical honesty inside a men's group does that church small groups rarely accomplish — Why isolation is the enemy's most effective weapon against men — The aviation principle that explains why so many men are headed for a crash — What is at stake for your kids if you stay on the sideline another year — How to find or start a Men's Alliance tribe near you for free

Resources mentioned: — mensalliancetribe.com — Find or start a tribe near you — Carry The Fire discipleship training — rolling out nationwide in 2026 — James 1:5 — If any of you lacks wisdom, ask God — dudeswithoutdadspodcast.com — Apply to be a guest

Connect with Dudes Without Dads: 🎙️ New episodes every Thursday 🌐 dudeswithoutdadspodcast.com 📲 Follow on YouTube, Instagram, TikTok & Facebook

Dudes Without Dads is the podcast that trains men to become the dads they never had. If this episode added value to your life, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a man who needs it.

fatherhood, father wound, sonship, men's ministry, christian men, healing, identity, intentional fatherhood, dudes without dads, joshua brown, eric manly, the intentional dad, generational curses, masculinity, christian podcast, faith and fatherhood, becoming a better dad, father absence

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Right. When I thought that I was in charge of my life, I made a mess of things primarily with women. Gave in to a lot of sexual temptations during my time in the Air Force, traveling a lot, flying, going all over the world, and made just about every bad choice, you know, that a married man can make. And got to the point where I was absolutely miserable. And, you know, this wasn't like having fun partying like a rock car. This was absolutely miserable. This was not where I wanted to be. This was not the man that I wanted to become, and I did not like who I was.

SPEAKER_01 0:44

My life was just by rolling downhill depression, alcoholism, incarceration, death, not as fair. One guy who showed up is just easy. If you can give a man clarity and community, he can start to live out his purpose. You can break generational curses of alcoholism.

SPEAKER_00 1:00

Welcome to Dudes Without Dads, a show that trains men how to become the dads they never had. Well, Goose, let's get into it. Welcome to the pod.

SPEAKER_02 1:13

Thanks, brother.

SPEAKER_00 1:14

All right. First off, why do they call you Goose?

SPEAKER_02 1:17

Oh man, it's a it's a ridiculous story. Uh, you know, when when you're given a nickname or a call sign, I think it's I think one of the signs of a really good one, a good nickname, a good call sign is one that you don't like. And kind of like if you like it, we're not gonna call you that. That's kind of how men's alliance is, that's kind of how the Air Force is. It's like if you like a nickname, we're not ever gonna call you that. So um I was a navigator in the Air Force, and as I was explaining what I do to guys in Men's Alliance, they're like, What is that? And I was like, Well, you know, I sit behind the pilot and tell them where to go. And uh, so the easiest way for them to uh to remember that was to call me goose. So it stuck. Uh, although I was not a navigator in fighters, be very clear about that. I didn't I didn't fly anything sexy or upside down, I was flying uh large four-engine Boeing reconnaissance aircraft. And so I didn't we didn't fly upside down, but I could stand up and go get a cup of coffee uh on a on a flight. So hey, I was navigator for 20 years in the Air Force, and so it stuck goose. And uh, you know, now I love it. I I hated it at first, but now I love it because that's what my brothers call me.

SPEAKER_00 2:42

So good. I want you to paint a picture when someone shows up for the first time to Men's Alliance. What are they walking into?

SPEAKER_02 2:51

Man, they're walking in to way more than they realize. I'll tell you that. They're walking into a brotherhood. A lot of guys walk up to a men's alliance tribe for the first time, thinking they're walking up to like a workout group or a Bible study, and um and they're not. They're they're walking into a band of brothers that just happens to use a workout as their icebreaker, right? And then um, and then sharing that real world devotion around a fire is really just where men connect and you can't short circuit that process. You can't skip the workout, you can't offer refreshments, you can't do it indoors, you can't not have a fire. If you cut any of that out and you go inside and you sit under a fluorescent light in an air-conditioned room with a piece of coffee cake and a and a book that you're gonna go chapter by chapter through, forget it. You've you've just ruined the entire thing. So we start off a men's alliance tribe with a 30-minute workout, and it's uh it's do what you can do, right? It's just uh it's modifiable, it's you against you. Everybody's got a bad knee or bad back. So, you know, we we try to do fun stuff in our workout that you probably won't do in your in your garage or at the Y, right? We flip tractor tires and swing 30-pound sledgehammers and bear crawl backwards uphill with sandbags, and it, you know, something that something that's gonna be goofy and memorable, but it's a grueling 30-minute workout. It is not a messing around. We try to set the bar high, and then we all give ourselves grace to fall short, but we don't lower the bar. And so after that 30 minutes, everybody grabs their bottle of water or whatever. We uh huddle up around a fire. We're always outside no matter what the weather is, every tribe huddle up around the fire, and uh, we take turns. Different guy leads every week, and the topic for the week is whatever's on this guy's heart for the week. So, you know, last night, for example, last night at my men's alliance tribe, the guy sharing about his um his young daughter um and her struggle with uh developing type 1 diabetes, and another guy around the fire goes, Man, I developed type 1 diabetes when I was her age. And I can tell you a lot about how that goes. And then we pray for that man. And, you know, people ask me a lot, what do you mean by real world devotion? And I think that's maybe the best definition, right? Is it's men talking about their real struggles, whether they're with their job or their kids or their marriage or their their addiction or whatever it is, we bring it to the fire. So that's what a man is walking up to at a tribe, and um, we don't take ourselves too seriously, we keep it pretty fun, you know, with uh call signs and we encourage men to lead so we don't want spectators in men's alliance. And and um, so we're gonna we're gonna meet you wherever you are, and then uh we're gonna sharpen you to become a better husband and father and leader along the way.

SPEAKER_00 6:12

I love that. And we're gonna dig in more into men's alliance and the formation of men, but before men's alliance, what kind of problem were you trying to solve?

SPEAKER_02 6:23

Oh man, I was an absolute wreck, I was a train wreck, and uh, you know, I heard a little bit of your story um earlier, and I can certainly relate to a lot of parts of it. Um I was not doing well trying to steer and be in control of my own life, right? When I thought that I was in charge of my life, I made a mess of things um, primarily with women. Uh I I failed, uh gave in to a lot of sexual temptations um during my time in the Air Force, traveling a lot, flying, going all over the world, and made just about every bad choice, you know, that a married man could make. And got to the point where I was absolutely miserable. And, you know, this wasn't like um having fun, partying like a rock star. This was absolutely miserable. This was not where I wanted to be. This was not the man that I wanted to become, and I did not like who I was. And so um on January 1st, 2015, I told God, I was like, take, take all this, take my entire life, you're in charge. I give you the whole thing. I don't, I don't want to, I don't even want to hold on to one shred of it for me. I want to just put it all in your hands. I've made a mess of it. What can you do with it, God? And that moment started a process, right? Uh, it started a process for me of learning how to kind of rewire my brain. Um, I went, I went to a lot of counseling, got a lot of help. Um, and as I became a different man, and and thank God for that, I also began to realize about a year and a half into that process, I can't stay on this new course forever without ever falling back to the old me by myself. And um, that's when I realized, you know, I need to surround myself with a band of brothers. I need to intentionally surround myself with strong Christian men who are on the same path that I'm on, who are on the same journey. And I can't afford to just hope, you know, and wing it here. Like I got to get strategic and and build the support network for myself that I need. So that's that was the start right there of you know, experiencing, you know, in in group, in in group therapy, um experiencing what radical honesty looks like. And when people are are really honest about uh their their road to rock bottom, and that looks different for everybody, but when people are honest about their road to rock bottom and their struggles, um I think there's something so powerful about honesty and true stories that, and I know that anybody listening that's ever been to any uh 12-step group, be it AA, N A, S A, um Celebrate Recovery, all those once you've experienced that, and then you go sit in your typical church small group, it's it's almost revolting. I hate to I hate to say use such harsh language, but it it almost is revolting because you're like, I've been in rooms full of people being honest, and this ain't one of them. Yeah, and so honestly, that piece of the ingredients from those groups that went into the DNA of men's alliance. I was like, I want to be in a men's group, I want to be in a Christian men's group, not some higher power acknowledging group. I want to be in a group pursuing Jesus Christ. And I don't want it to be a group where everybody says they're fine, and the prayer requests are for your your great uncle's toe surgery, right? Which, like, nothing wrong with your great uncle's toe surgery, but that implies that that's your number one most pressing request, right? And and if that's your number one most pressing request, I can't really relate to you because I got some I got some doozies, right? And and so I was like, I want a group where people, men are pursuing Christ, but they're also vulnerable with man, here's what I'm struggling with, here's what I'm going through, here's what I need help on. Um, and and like I said, you know, once you've experienced uh real, you you can't go back.

SPEAKER_00 11:34

You you nailed something that every listener needs to really hone in on. And I've you know, we have a CR at our church, celebrate recovery. And when you go into this thing and you start seeing men and women share about, hey, I looked at this, I did that last night, and you're like, church just got real. Like you never see that inside of the uh the normal church.

SPEAKER_02 12:02

Isn't that crazy? That is a fact. Why is that only at Celebrate Recovery? Why is that only why isn't that describing every small group, every life group?

SPEAKER_00 12:15

Yeah, do me a favor. I want you to take a moment and I want you to think about some of the stories that you've heard men share. Can you give maybe a couple of examples of stories that you've heard come out of men's mouths at these, you know, men's alliance moments where they share something going on in their lives?

SPEAKER_02 12:37

Yeah, I don't think anybody's ever asked me that.

SPEAKER_00 12:40

Um Yeah, I want you to stop and I want you to process because we're gonna end up making some clips out of this, and I want to think about every story connects to somebody else's story, and the problem is we don't know that other people are going through the exact same stuff that we've gone through. And so I want our listeners to hear some of the stories that actually come out at a men's alliance. I want to thank you for taking time to listen to this story. And if there's something inside of here that is adding value to you, I want you to stop and hit subscribe. I am on mission to help men become the dad they never had. Many of us struggle with father wounds, addictions, identity issues, and really what we need is we need a model. We need to see people that have broken the patterns and come alongside of them. I want to simply invite you to join me on the journey. Every Thursday, we're gonna release a new episode. Each episode is gonna help you and others become the dads they never had. Hit subscribe and share with a friend. Now let's get back to the story.

SPEAKER_02 13:50

Yeah, I think I think kind of three are jumping to the top of my mind here. Um one of one of just like my favorite, just most powerful nights ever um for a Devo at Men's Alliance was we gather around the fire, everybody's kind of still out of breath, and um we're going around doing our intros, and the guy who's leading the the devotion that night, he said, this is my first time ever leading a devotion. And um, which that that happens all the time at MA. We get a lot of guys that have never led a devotion. So we're like, all right, man, great. We're glad you're doing it. What you got? He said this. He said, My wife just took both of our kids and left. Has anybody else ever been there? That was all he said. That was the beginning and the end of that devo. And I'm telling you, man, that hung in the air for some really long, awkward seconds. And then a guy said, Yeah, I've been there, starts asking him some questions, they start talking. He starts talking about how he had just recently returned from a deployment. Guy was in the in the military, did a tour of the Middle East, starts talking about that in relation to uh how his wife was leaving right when he had gotten back from that. Another guy sitting there by the fire goes, What unit were you with there? Guy says unit, he was like, Oh, I was with this one. They start talking. Before you know it, this 30-minute devotion turned into this guy who started it off finding out the band of brothers that he had just connected himself with, men who had gone through their wife leaving, men who had gone through uh having their kids taken away, men who had gone through the same deployment to the same place. And we sat around that fire that night, and the conversations were so powerful, and the sharing was so uh profound. And we walked away from that devotion that night, feeling two things. Wow, that was an amazing devotion. And number two, I don't even remember who started it, right? Because so many men were talking, everybody's talking and sharing. It's not like one guy's just gonna talk at us for 30 minutes. So that was one that stood out to me. You know, another one was a one where a man he stood up and he put on sunglasses, and uh this time of year it was not dark out, and um so I was thinking, oh boy, and um you know, it only took a couple seconds to realize he he he just didn't want us to see his eyes, he didn't want us to see his tears, but he shared that his daughter had recently been um attacked and he said I'm thinking about killing the guy. Guys are like, well, don't do it. Uh come come over to my house, you know. If you if you if you have that thought run through your head at 2 a.m. tonight, you call me. Right. And so you had a guy just lay it on the line. Here's what happened, here's what I'm thinking about doing, and you had guys just really just swarm in around him to protect him from making a terrible mistake. Um, that guy about a year later, I remember him saying, Yeah, this tribe saved my life over that, over that event, right? And then the third one I'll give you is um is a much is on a much lighter note. On a much lighter note, I saw a guy give his first devotion ever. This guy's never led a devotion. He's married with kids, he's never led his family in a devotion. But we were we kept encouraging him and pushing him. We were like, come on, man, lead one, lead one next week. And so finally he he says, All right, I'll lead one. He shows up to lead his first devotion ever, and um, he pulled a piece of paper out of his jacket pocket, unfolded it, and read the entire devotion. He had he had planned it and he had typed it up and he had printed it out, and he sat there and he read that devotion off a piece of paper. Now, here's what I love about Men's Alliance. Was that night, was that a great devotion? Was that a life-changing devotion for all of us listening? No, that was a life-changing devotion for the guy who gave it. That's so good, right? So, we're not about creating these uh polished productions every night. Uh it might not be the best devo you've ever heard. The win is that that guy led it. But here's what happened a few months later, this guy signed up to lead another devotion, and he didn't he didn't read anything that time. Uh, his second devotion he led blew me away. Right. But we had to get through that first one to get to that second one, and and and so just seeing that guy progress and being like, man, we we got we took a guy who's never led anything, scared to death, reading it, and now this guy is just absolutely leading men and more importantly, leading his family, right? So those are just a couple examples off the top of my head of you know what some men have shared. You know, one one more would be, you know, I've I've seen a guy come to tribe um days after losing his son, and nobody expected to see him there, right? And every you you don't even know what to say. There's that awkwardness among men, like I don't know what to say to you. Um, I don't have the words, and you don't want me to say anything anyway, because you don't have the words, and and um, but everybody was like, hey man, glad, glad you're here. And um, you know, he wasn't saying much, but he was like, Yeah, and uh we did the workout, which is always the greatest idea, right? Because what what else are we gonna do? Sit around, talk about our feelings, let's flip some tires and let's uh let's do some burpees. And um, it's it's it's cool seeing how after you do that, then when you sit around the fire, now you actually feel like sharing and you actually feel like talking. And that's part of the magic. And I can't explain it, but it just works. If you get out of your car and walk over to a fire, you don't feel like sharing anything, but you finish a 30-minute workout together and you sit around a fire, it's a different environment. And um, yeah, and so this guy, we sit around the fire after that workout, and we're like, How are you doing, man? And he said, Well, I don't want to be here, honestly. He said, I don't want to be here, I wanted to be at home drinking. Um, but my wife said, You're going to Men's Alliance because I know the difference it makes in your life, and you need to be there tonight more than any other night. If there's ever a night when you're thinking about skipping, it ain't tonight. And uh he was like, So here I am. And so just those kind of powerful nights. Um, and I've been doing this for so many years that I've got a lot of those, but those are actually the exceptions, right? Typically, it's a guy just like, hey, let's talk about like I'm I'm struggling, I don't know how to pray, right? Like, I don't know, I don't know how to have a better prayer life, right? Like I feel awkward talking out loud to God. Usually it's something more like um, you know, that every man struggles with, but occasionally you do have those nights where somebody's just suffered a profound loss of either a death or a separation, yeah, or an attack, an assault, an addiction. Um, lots of episodes where guys are like, hey, you know, my wife discovered that I've been looking at pornography. Um that's an extremely common one. Hey guys, I'm admitting that I've been drinking too much and I need to, I need to cut that out of my life, right? So um it's just being real about whatever we're struggling with, and it's a place where we drop that facade that that that men typically wear at work and unfortunately at church of having everything together.

SPEAKER_00 23:16

Yeah, I love that. Um, you mentioned that men end up confessing different areas of their lives that they feel like they're struggling in or losing in. When you look at the stage of what's going on in men, what's going on in our country? What do you see happening inside the hearts of men that are far from God?

SPEAKER_02 23:37

Man, that's such an interesting question. It's it's a question that I've been asking a lot of men that are a lot smarter than me. Um, because it seems like right now in our country, you can kind of make a case, you can make a good case either way, right? Like in one hand, there is um there's a lot of things going really wrong in our country. There's a lot of things falling apart, coming unraveled. Um, you know, men seem to be falling apart if you look at it through through one lens and set of statistics. But on the uh at the same time, there's also a massive revival going on in our country. And there's more men for the for the for like the first time in history, like more men are going to back to church than women, and Bible sales are climbing amongst uh younger people. So you look at all this information, you're like, well, what is going on here? Is the country getting worse or is the country getting better? And um, so I I think that the answer is is is both. It's getting more extreme and it's getting more polarized. Uh, there's fewer people, I would say, in the middle, there's fewer lukewarm. If you're gonna, you know, peep people are either uh drastically declining or or it drastically improving. And so I think that kind of speaks to what we see going on. So when things get really bad in in any uh nation, if you look through history, um, this is a time for action, right? When things start to get bad, um the old way you've been doing things of being neutral and on the sideline ain't gonna cut it anymore. You choose your side. Are you with this group or are you with this group? Make up your mind and roll up your sleeves and dive in. And that's what you see historically when any nation starts to uh starts to experience um, you know, tragedy or war. And that's what we see going on in this country. And I think we're experiencing spiritual war, and men are waking up to either roll up their sleeves, get back in church, read their Bible, join a tribe, you know, work like that, or they're totally spiraling out of control downward into, you know, drugs, alcohol, pornography, affairs, and suicide. We see all of those things drastically increasing as well.

SPEAKER_00 26:26

I'm glad you brought up the suicide uh problem. You've been quoted to say isolation is terminal for dads. Would you mind unpacking that?

SPEAKER_02 26:37

Yeah. There's so much in that in that little phrase, ish isolation is terminal. I believe that our enemy, the devil, wants to keep men isolated. If he can keep a man um thinking that he is uniquely bad, right? If he can keep you by yourself and convince you that your badness is worse than everybody else's badness, that's what he that's what he wants to do. And he does that with so many men that think that they are terminally unique, right? That they are somehow disqualified from ever getting back up, from ever leading their family spiritually. He's convinced them you've failed, stay down and keep your mouth shut. And that keeps men isolated. So men, hey, we we often look for the path of least resistance. And if you tell us to stay on the sideline and shut up, a lot of men will just do that. And they're like, fine, I'm I'm comfortable here anyway. I got my lazy boy and my Netflix, and I'm good. And so men will isolate. And when we do that as men, when we stop going, when we stop talking, when we stop sharing, when we stop calling our best friend, we do these things, we start to collapse inward, right? And and we when we collapse inward, that's right where Satan wants us because we're not gonna make a difference in anybody's life at that point, other than setting an example of what not to do. The solution is close your laptop, go outside, get with a group of Christian men, and start to share your real struggles out loud, and you will quickly find that your struggles are also everybody else's. You're not that unique, you're not that bad. Everybody else has also failed, and they keep getting back up, and so can you. So that's why I think the very first step is realizing isolation is terminal and deciding, because it's just a matter of making a decision. It's just deciding to reject that. Like, hey, I've had a terrible day. The last thing I want to do today is go to Men's Alliance tribe tonight. I would rather just sit at home and pour a bourbon. Yeah, I know that's why I'm not gonna do it because that's exactly what I want to do. So, what am I gonna do? I'm gonna, before I even have time to think too hard about it, I'm gonna go put on my workout clothes and grab a water bottle and get in my truck because I know I got to get out of this isolation. So that's step one. So our our uh our motto, by the way, in in Ms. Alliance is tribal, rugged, real. And that's because those three words are the opposite of isolated, comfortable, and fake. Right. So we want to we want to not be isolated, drowning ourselves in comfort and wearing a facade that everything's fine. We want to be the opposite of those three things. We want to be tribal, connected with a band of brothers, rugged, rejecting uh, you know, the pull towards staying in your comfort zone, you know, and then we want to be real.

SPEAKER_00 30:07

That's so powerful because you just identify so many of the struggles that young men and older men struggle with or certain addictions to to comfort, you know, whether it's video games or whether it's alcohol or whether it's their chair or whatever that thing might be. Yeah. Um, if I'm a dude and I'm listening to you talk about men's alliance and I identify myself as, man, I need a change. I need a change. Would you mind sharing a little bit about what they would experience, how they would find out, you know, where you're located in one, you know, walk me through a practical way of getting connected to men's alliance and then what I can expect. Do you have an incredible story of overcoming the home that you were raised in? Or maybe the father wounds that were placed inside your life? If so, I want to share it with other dudes without dads. Simply go to dudeswithout dadspodcast.com and apply to be a guest on the show. The reason it's important to share your story is because when you share what God has done for you, it helps other men believe that God can do it for them, and he can. To share your story, head over to Dudes Without Dads Podcast today.

SPEAKER_02 31:26

Man. Yeah, so wherever you are listening to this, go to our website, men's alliance tribe.com. Men'sAlianCetribe.com. And um, you know, you click on tribes there, and you will it'll show you a map. It'll show you where you are and where the tribes are around you. And so that's the easiest way is hopefully you're you're near a tribe. And um, all of the tribes there on the map, you clip click on the map, find any tribe. It tells you when and where they meet. They're all free. You don't have to register for any of them. You don't have to sign up, you don't have to do anything, you don't have to give us your email address. Just show up. Yeah, just just get in your car and go to one and show up. There's a little what to expect your first time, right? Kind of like I told you, it's gonna be a workout, it's gonna be a devotion around a fire, dress for the weather, bring a bottle of water, that's about it. But there, and there'll be a there'll be a phone number or an email for the tribe leader there that you can contact if you've got any questions. And that's the best thing you can do. Uh, if there's not one in your area, uh, if there's no tribe near you, if you're like, man, this sounds awesome, but the closest tribe is, you know, four hours away, we'll help you start one where you are, right? And um, and that's that's that's what I did is I just started one where I was. And so we'll help you start one for free as well. It doesn't, it doesn't cost, there's no charter fee or membership or anything like that. We're we're a nonprofit, so we just exist off of uh like, hey, if Men's Alliance has changed your life, consider supporting it monthly, you know, at least as much as you support Netflix, right? So that's that's how we're doing this. So I just want to see men uh get healthy, get into a tribe, get out of isolation. Um, that's the first steps. And then I'll tell you this there's a whole lot that goes on underneath the surface of Men's Alliance, right? It's got that visible tip of the iceberg. Guys see it and they're like, yeah, they're doing a workout and they're talking around a fire, but so much going on there below the below the visible surface, in that we get men leading, like I alluded to earlier. Like you're not just gonna show up and be a spectator every week. Like once you've been coming for three or four weeks, your tribe gives you a call sign, and uh hopefully it's it's as bad or worse than goose. And uh, you know, and then we want to see you start leading. We're like, hey, lead us in a workout or lead us in a devotion or build the fire next week, right? Like, you're not coming to my tribe, you're coming to your tribe. So we want you to get your fingerprints on it and and help lead it. And then once we get you leading it and you've led the workout, you've led the devotion, uh, then we want to disciple you. And we have a we have a training program that we call Carry the Fire. And uh, and this is what we take men's alliance guys from all over the country. Uh, we do this several times a year in several different states. We get a whole bunch of guys, like 80, 90 uh men's alliance leaders together. And um, and some of them, six months earlier, uh, they were in jail. Some of them, six months earlier, they were you know addicted to meth, whatever the case is. And this guy, he's found Christ, he's found a tribe, he's got his band of brothers, and here he is showing up at our Carry the Fire discipleship program. So I say that to explain that like we're not just looking to get a guy showing up every week for a workout and a devotion. As great as that is, we want to also disciple him to become a better ambassador for Christ.

SPEAKER_00 35:37

So good. Um, what's at stake for the dude that's listening? He's like, Man, I know I should go. You know, maybe somebody shared this episode with him, and he knows he should go, but he's like, uh let's say he chooses not to go. What's at stake?

SPEAKER_02 35:55

Well, just take however you're doing right now and just just carry carry that on out for the next 20 years and see if you like the result, right? Like if you are currently struggling with alcohol or pornography or depression, or you've never led your family in a devotion, and it or here's here's a big one. Or how confident are you that your kids when they go off to college are gonna come out the other end of college as Christians? Right? Are you preparing your kids right now to understand the evidence for Christianity being true, to be able to answer the world's tough questions? Um, are you leading them? Are you discipling them like that, like a like a solid husband and father of Christ? Uh, if you've got these doubts in your mind about like, yeah, I'm probably addicted to porn. I don't know, I haven't really tried to quit. Yeah, I'm probably drinking too much. Yeah, my marriage isn't that great. I can't remember the last time I went on a date with my wife. Yeah, I don't know if my kids could answer anything about Christianity, and I don't know what they'll be like after college. If you're in that boat, you need to see all these master caution lights flashing right now in your cockpit, and and you need to take some corrective action. Um, you know, there's this there's this tendency in aviation. I'll share an aviation thing here with you. Right. There's this tendency to listen to your body and the way things feel. And this is what's called flying by the seat of your pants, right? When it feels to you like you're flying straight and level, uh, but actually you're in a very slow descent and you haven't noticed it because it's dark and you're in the clouds, but it really feels to you, every one of your senses is telling you you're straight and level, but you've got this instrument, you've got this altimeter that's telling you you are gradually descending. And maybe it starts yelling at you and it starts saying, too low, terrain, too low, pull up. That's where a lot of men in this country are right now, and you've got to instantly decide am I right and my altimeter is wrong, or is my altimeter right and I'm wrong? And you got to make that decision really quick. It's gonna be a matter of life and death if you get it wrong. And I'll just tell you the answer is your instrument is right. Uh, very rarely is the instrument wrong, much more often you're wrong. And you know, unfortunately, this is sad to say, but there's a lot of aviation mishaps where the black box recording found the last words spoken are the pilot saying, Hey, there's something wrong with this altimeter. Um, that's so true. That was the last thing spoken over that radio. Well, in our life, as husbands and fathers, as Christian leaders and men, our instruments, our altimeter, our attitude indicator, our airspeed indicator, that is the word of God, right? And if your feelings, if your feelings disagree with what that instrument is saying, you've got a choice to make, right? Like, am I gonna listen to what I'm feeling and culture's telling me, um, or am I gonna listen to what this instrument that's telling me I'm descending, I'm headed in the wrong direction is. And you better, you better choose quickly and you better choose correctly. And I'm gonna give you another hit. The Bible is the correct one, and you need to not pay so much attention to how you feel. Your feelings are gonna crash you.

SPEAKER_00 40:00

Goose, we're gonna land this plane, and I'm gonna invite you back to unpack some of the framework, some of the ideas of how to be the dad you never had, and and have deeper conversations. But right now, what do you want the dude to do that's listening? He's wanting to hear more. What do you want to say to him? Where does he need to go one last time?

SPEAKER_02 40:23

Yeah, man. I tell you what, first thing I want you to do is pray. So if you're listening to this and you're like, man, he's he said some stuff that I know is me, but I don't know. I don't know if I'm you know ready for all this and all that and stuff. I get it, man. I get it. I've been right there. So here's what you should do: you should pray and ask God to show you the right path. So good. Um, say, God, you know, I'm not doing that great at steering my life. Show me the path you have for me. Open the right doors and close the wrong doors. Guide my path. You know, the book of James tells us that if we ask God for wisdom, he promises to give it to us. So ask God for wisdom so that you know what to do in this crossroads that you find yourself at. And um, and then and then consider starting a men's alliance tribe in your area or joining a tribe if there is one. Um, and it doesn't have to be men's alliance. There's a lot of great ministries out there reaching men. Get involved in something, pick one. Um, we can absolutely help you start a tribe. Go to men's alliance tribe.com. We are offering, we are rolling out this year, we're rolling out our carry the fire training to men who are not even in Men's Alliance. So that's a big new move we're doing in 2026. If you're listening to this and you're like, I want that training to be able to lead my family spiritually, prepare my kids before they go off to college, all that stuff. But you're like, but I'm nowhere near a tribe and I don't have the time to start one. Hey, we're we're rolling out carry the fire training for you this year so that we can train you in those areas, um, whether you're in a tribe or not. So I would say go to men'sallianetribe.com, see what we've got to offer, but more importantly than anything, pray about it.

SPEAKER_00 42:28

Goose, thank you for being a guest on our Dudes Without Dads podcast. If this show has brought you any value, just do what Goose has recommended, take some steps, make some change, and end up becoming the dad that you never had. Thank you so much. We'll see you in the future.

SPEAKER_02 42:45

Thank you so much. I appreciate it. Forgiveness, it's more for you than that. I had a peace for the first time in my life. It's just easy.

SPEAKER_01 42:55

Just easy.