Coffee and Condoms

COFFEE AND CONDOMS 60: Chris Brown Backlash, Ray J's Gaygency & AI is a MFer

• Season 2 • Episode 60

Share episode

Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.

0:00 | 1:10:30

Send us Fan Mail

Today on CoFFeeAndCondoms, we’re diving into a mix of viral moments, controversial headlines, and real-life experiences.

We start with a story involving an army helicopter flying near Kid Rock’s home, along with conversations around Operation Epic Fury and what’s really going on behind these headlines.

Then we get into the internet debate — Chris Brown kissing a woman on stage who’s reportedly married, and whether people are overreacting or holding him accountable.

We also talk about AI and how fast it’s changing everything, from everyday life to how people interact, work, and think.

Ray J is back in the headlines again — from personal revelations to introducing new terms like “Gagency,” and we’re trying to figure out what he’s really saying and why it’s getting attention.

Plus:
A wild situation where a homeowner reportedly called authorities on workers after they completed a job, raising questions about accountability and fairness

And a real conversation about things you don’t expect until you move to the Pacific Northwest

Real talk, culture, and unpredictable conversations — just how we do it.

Press play, tap in, and join the discussion.

SPEAKER_09

And nobody said the last name.

SPEAKER_04

I don't think so. Anybody. Not a name. She's trying to dodge that, but when it says Junior Jr.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah, it can't be positivity.

SPEAKER_02

It says Trey Jr. Jr. We don't know what Trade Jr. did. Did he say pick up his dick?

SPEAKER_04

He said to last dick. That's true. That's the one.

SPEAKER_02

Unsolicited dick pics on our us when it comes to trash. So he was a guest.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, we brought him in the building. He told us about how he says his pick out to everybody. I don't have it. I turned my phone off, though. We turned the waff off.

SPEAKER_05

So here's how it really goes, right? I known Trey since about the sixth grade, right? I used to do a mentorship program way back in the day. So years have passed, and come to find out, you know, Trey was uh gotten to some porn shit.

SPEAKER_02

One day I hit my inbox and boom, it's a dick pic of Trey. So I'm like, nigga, what the fuck is you sending me this for? Man, I want you to send it out.

SPEAKER_10

I went to the city.

SPEAKER_02

But don't sound crazy, blue, at all, right? In a crazy way. Yeah, that don't sound crazy at all, too. I wish the fuck I wear what I look like sending your dick pics, Ray J. I look like Ray J. So at that point, I was like, nah, nigga, what you can do is come on the show and you can talk about your shit. But no, I'm gonna clown you about you sending a dick picture. And wear pants.

SPEAKER_06

And wear pants when you come on the show. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

So he came on the show. So he came and we and I clowned him. We talked about it and everything, right? And he's been doing this porn shit ever since. Yeah, yeah. He's the only fan star. Yeah. Only he's a fan. He's only he's the fan. Only he's a fan. I'm cool with that, right?

SPEAKER_11

But now that y'all have heard my story, let's hear yours.

SPEAKER_02

How did you get a picture? Yeah. How did you get your picture?

SPEAKER_09

You know, I had just heard through the grapevine of a gentleman who, when slided by a woman that he's into, he turns into a complete monster where he starts harassing her friends. Oh. Her family. He's obsessive. Very obsessive. It's a scary stalker.

SPEAKER_02

They got a show on Netflix called You. That sounds very similar to that right now.

SPEAKER_09

This is just, you know.

SPEAKER_05

Trey, you gotta holler at me. So we gotta talk. This is inappropriate. I don't want to hear that.

SPEAKER_09

But you know, um, I never met the gentleman myself. I might have said a word or two. Kind words. I would say very kind words, but I just, that is crazy. What a small world.

SPEAKER_02

Just remember, if you're crazy and your handwriting shows it, we will find you. Yo, here's what's crazy though. Like, cause I'm saying, like. But not even you. Like, like this is how I know I'm I know I'm getting old, because nigga, I don't know if my perfume is that sharp. I don't know. I'm trying to see it right now. That's the crazy. So here's what you were saying. How did you catch that? She told me. I was watching. She said. She came back, she said.

SPEAKER_05

Oh, it was hand signal. I thought it was a baseball game. She started reading the wall.

SPEAKER_02

But because they called, I was catching the hand signal. They went to I Morris Cold North. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Somebody having a seizure. I was already the only nigga missing the name. She didn't say the name, she said that one.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah. I mean, for the record, I am the oldest in the room. But that's some bullshit. What the fuck?

SPEAKER_02

I was up there having a good conversation by myself and y'all niggas was in a whole nother story.

SPEAKER_05

Look at this whole other story. Reenacted then. Go. Who sick first? Go. What do you do? Okay, then what'd you do? I saw that.

SPEAKER_10

I saw that through my hand.

SPEAKER_03

And then when she did that, I said. And then I looked at her, and I was like, ooh, I saw that.

SPEAKER_13

I saw that with do it again, do it again.

SPEAKER_06

I saw that right there.

SPEAKER_02

I saw that. Through my remote. But but I was like, but I was like, she's looking for another place to put her name. That's what I knew.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah, she did.

SPEAKER_02

That's what I thought. I was like, yo, she's gonna put her name somewhere else. Some things make way more sense when you get more deep. Motherfucker. Yeah, it's crazy. I keep telling people, man, the world ain't big enough for you to hide in. Yeah. Man, not at all. Anything you do in the dark is gonna come to the light. I promise.

SPEAKER_05

Yo, let me tell you how small the world is. Dig this, right? So I'm in Fort Campbell, Kentucky at the time, right? But I'm about to go to Korea.

SPEAKER_02

So before I go to Korea, I'm shooting to California to kick with my brother. He was also in the service, right? But he's coming from England, so he's in the Air Force. So as I'm sliding out, this one cat that I'm in Kentucky with, we call him Earth, right? His jeeps dumb low to the ground. So Earth is like, yo, yo, I'm about to get out the army. I'm gonna catch you over up in Cali. I'm like, motherfucker, I know my brother's in East Bubblefuck Cali, right? He ain't nowhere popular. So I'm like, there's no way we're gonna see each other.

SPEAKER_15

So we cut ways, boom. Now here we are in this night. Me and my brother go out. We in the spot. We somewhere up in Fresno somewhere at an Air Force Base or something.

SPEAKER_02

So we go all the way out up to the joint. I don't know where somebody grabbed me from behind. It's motherfucking Earth. I'm like, what the fuck you did? I said, I thought you said you was in Cali, dude. He said, Well, I'm in Cali, but I ain't like I said, but I'm talking like Cali. Not Fresno. Caliarabout. I'm like, yo, what is crazy? So my brother walks up and he's like, Yo, what you doing talking to him? I said, This is my man. We was in the army together. My brother said, nigga, I've known this nigga since he was eight years old. That's banana. I said, get the fuck out of here. Small world. Small motherfucking world, dude. All them years, man, earth kicking it. And my brother had known him before that. Watch him grow because my brother had been stationed there for like 10 years. Yeah, I mean, I said, man, the world's smaller than a motherfucker. I still know there's some things I need to do. So while I got the camera directly at me, let me just apologize. From 1997 to 2012, if we cross paths, I'm sorry. I wasn't technically being an asshole to you. I was just doing it protecting my peace. So with that being said, I have done some crazy shit. When you walk into a room and I expecting to see them and see that person, and they recall what you did, but you don't have that recollection to say. There are things that people tell me not to say. I don't remember saying it per se, but it sounded like something I would say. So I go, if I didn't apologize then, don't expect to get it now. Like, yeah, that's hard. No, I mean, you know, here's the thing. I live under one rule. Whatever situation I'm in, if I do it, if I said it, no matter what the Libreation is. It was that moment. It was that moment and I meant it regardless. That's what I live under. I did it. I'm not apologizing for it, right? If I did some function, I did some function. We can move on from that moment. Right. We can either be friends still or whatever. Because don't act like you ain't had a fuck moment. You know what I'm saying? Don't act like I ain't had the motherfucking, well, how how y'all ladies like to say, I had to hold her hair. Don't act like I ain't had to hold you down, nigga, carry you to the crib. You know what I'm saying? Like, come on. Like if it happened, man, at that moment and it meant something to you, it might not meant the same. Yeah. And that's bringing me to, you know, on the topic list. We got your favorite up there. Your boy Ray J is on the list. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. He's having a moment right now.

SPEAKER_15

He is having a moment. So Ray J, if y'all don't know, had kind of did a little video talking about he came out the closet. And he was like, I've been out the closet. You know what I'm saying? I've been down with the gatency.

SPEAKER_02

First off, why do you keep trying to make that word a word?

SPEAKER_15

It's not a word.

SPEAKER_02

Gegency is not a word. It's not a word. It's not a word. Like, forget it. Like, stop trying to use it. Stop trying to make it a thing. You gotta say the whole letters like everybody else do, motherfucker. You know what I'm saying? Like flat out. I don't know all of them, truthfully. Right, right. I'm gonna lose one every time I say it.

SPEAKER_09

It's wig. It's a wig. You know.

SPEAKER_04

Don't y'all do it. Don't y'all do it. Don't y'all do it. Don't y'all do it.

SPEAKER_06

I'm just saying, actually, I'm like, you expect them to have jackets and coats on with bow ties. I mean, yeah. If it's an idea, it'll make you forget your memory joints.

SPEAKER_09

I'm not gonna keep saying all the letters. It's just it's getting it. And I don't want to say them.

SPEAKER_02

Ray J just sold two people in the room. That quick. Oh, you weren't the agency?

unknown

Cool, cool.

SPEAKER_06

Walk this way. Come this way.

SPEAKER_02

That's gonna be a super sticker handshake. No, it's no, they done swung blue. Blue wears a helmet.

SPEAKER_08

Rainbow counts. I'm swinging rainbow.

SPEAKER_02

Man. They done took the colors, they done took the alphabet. Once they start taking numbers, I mean, that's it's a rap out of that. Yeah. We're getting slang. Is that gonna be the term? Five years from now, I'm rocking with the gag and see. If Ray J was ever in the closet, was it closer? C3?

SPEAKER_13

It sounds smooth. See?

SPEAKER_02

She said, ooh.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, it did sound cool. It did.

SPEAKER_02

I never thought about it, but if Ray J keeps it up, he's gonna get y'all. It does sound like a movie.

SPEAKER_05

Oh shit, yeah.

SPEAKER_06

I mean, for real, though.

SPEAKER_05

I mean John Wick and the Gegency.

SPEAKER_03

So if you had I think we do need to address what he was about to say, because it's the it's the Ray J coming out part night.

SPEAKER_02

So did we not believe that that closet was not that closet was see-through? Like we never doubted whether or not you was near the closet by the kitchen, the bathroom. Any room you in, we think that's a closet in a room.

SPEAKER_03

I think ended his sex tape with Kim, we all knew Ray J would get.

SPEAKER_13

It wasn't really.

SPEAKER_02

I saw the face, man. So that's acceptable.

SPEAKER_05

So the one single tier like the Indian in the commercial back in the day. Oh, that's good.

SPEAKER_06

So the one wish video really was the wrong room. The wrong light came on. Uh uh. Because he was wanting her brother to answer, not her. You didn't dissect that video away too much. Nah, if the gag is done came off. I'm thinking about it.

SPEAKER_05

Was this one wish, her brother? Blue, blue. Loosen the strap on the chin straight on the helmet. Loosing the strap on the helmet. It's a little too tight.

SPEAKER_06

I'm just saying, bro. I don't mind if he wants to be a gag. So do your thing.

SPEAKER_02

When we talk about the music industry, they say that a lot of these RB singers are technically closeted, closed brothers in the singing Atlanta for some odd reason. Don't get, don't ask that story, and I won't tell it. ATL now. If that's the case, and you're singing a love song and got everybody singing it with you, are you really singing what it means to the artist, or are you singing what it means to you? Because if the artist meant something different, and don't none of us know that motherfucker.

SPEAKER_05

You can only one wish it one way, and that's how you see the wish.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, it was the right way that you were singing it, or was it you done sang to another brother didn't know you was doing it too? Hey, that's crazy.

SPEAKER_05

That's some bullshit.

SPEAKER_02

Because you remember back in the day, we used to say that.

SPEAKER_05

I punched Ray J in the throat if I ever see him because of that.

SPEAKER_02

That was a black stereotype. Hey, Michael Jackson really singing the prince. We said it. You can't act like you didn't say it. If you grew up black, we said it. But we never knew it. We just gave Mike the pass. Hey, he got a glitter glove, right? Brother can move on.

SPEAKER_03

You change the lyrics to hit your gender? That's my singing of sex or red song.

SPEAKER_02

I mean, I mean song. Because I edit. Like I'm one of those things.

SPEAKER_03

I'm not saying he was a cheap alone.

SPEAKER_11

So I mean, if I'm into the song, I might not be thinking about the he's and the shees.

SPEAKER_02

I gotta be edited the song. So DMX, when he still ain't seen the brothers just committed to jail before, I don't say that.

SPEAKER_04

No, I don't say that line.

SPEAKER_02

We skipped right over the jail before. Yeah, that line is automatically out of my shit. I don't know. But if you skip it, my first thought was a trick, you look so good, I'm stuck and that. I gotta say it. I don't even know if that plays on my fucking CD. I'm pretty sure it automatically skips right over. Yeah. I promise you, this is something I know it's coming, I add it automatically. My shit goes, it goes bloom bloom bloom, me and my bitch, me and my bitch, me and my bitch, bloom, bloom, bloom. When I first met you, me and my bitch. That's how my shit goes. And I've been in your car. I heard it go just like that. I done roll with you. So I know it do it in your car.

SPEAKER_03

I don't care who which part of Lauren Hill and that thing. She's always talking. I don't switch up that thing. I ever said, I'm not worried about when she's talking to the other side.

SPEAKER_02

Now if I'm singing Killing Me Softly, I sing the ver the female joint because I'll be sure I got a female version of the Killing Me Softly joint. I don't add the the he, she, I don't do that. Yeah. I don't sing. Yeah, but I also ain't singing a whole lot of uh, you know, try not to argue songs where I gotta edit the man out of it. You know what I mean? Like I've heard that part, I automatically move that on to my, I'm not really gonna play that that often. Like, this is not gonna happen.

SPEAKER_09

So you don't listen to City Girl.

SPEAKER_02

At all. Like no clue who could tell you that nail song. Couldn't tell you one song the other. So young out of the game. What's City Girl? Any of them.

SPEAKER_09

Like Lil' Kim, I guess Lil' Kim Days or Salt and Pepper. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

When they came out with that song that they called.

SPEAKER_09

When they were singing again.

SPEAKER_02

Was you pushing it or was singing the girl?

SPEAKER_03

I sung push it. I would say I sung push it. It was like City Girl.

SPEAKER_02

Would you say no? Because there was only two of them. TLC's three. I sung push it, but I sung it from the guy perspective. I was like, yeah. Yeah. Like I was the dude. I sung it from the guy perspective. I just want you to know the camera didn't blink. Could you do that one more thing? I sung, I sung, I sung push it, but I sung it from the guy perspective.

SPEAKER_04

That was the whole movie. I was guy pumping it. I wasn't woman pumping it.

SPEAKER_13

Like shit shit.

SPEAKER_02

I didn't push it. Man, I don't know. If they was saying, uh, take it, that's different.

SPEAKER_04

If they were saying, uh take it, that's different.

SPEAKER_02

I've seen that song. I wouldn't even like salt and pepper. Turn this song off. Turn that song off. That's what your grandparents went. You can't even do it. Listen to that. I don't even like y'all. I'm rocking with the Johnny's group. That's a shag. Hey, y'all see the shit. A helicopter. A helicopter. Yeah, you had to. I had to get all those. A helicopter pulled up the Kid Rock House. An army helicopter. They supposed to be doing a training. They pulled up the Kid Rock House. And this is the video. Look at this. These dumb asses. He's saluting and all that. Yeah, and they out here. Just fuck their whole careers up. Is Kid Rock not white? Does that not be a side? Is Kid Rock that important that you want to pull up a helicopter next to a screen? Here's the thing, man. Is any of them really that important? But that's the Star Syndrome right there. That's just the Star Syndrome. So like when you make it famous, you just a normal person who everybody else knows your name. You're still you. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. That's T.I. But the helicopter pilots are probably white. They probably support Donald Trump. And if you pay attention, Kid Rock is an every Donald Trump event. He is the loudest promoter of Donald Trump. And look at it. There's a sign hanging up on his things that says that he has the Southern White House.

SPEAKER_09

Oh, he paid for that.

SPEAKER_02

So that look, he's got a replica statue of the Liberty standing next to him. So he's promoting the whole MAGA movement, man. And again, them helicopters coming in there doing what they're doing. That don't sound that ain't a long time.

SPEAKER_06

He looks like an idiot.

SPEAKER_09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

But that's the thing, man. He gets to be next to Donald Trump doing his thing.

SPEAKER_06

Remember when he first came out, though, what was he bumping? He was rapping.

SPEAKER_02

But fleeting moments of fame happening, man. Like you only be hitting it at the moment that you're hitting it. When they say strike iron, it's hot. When you're hot, you're gonna do what you do. So is it real ex? Yeah, that's real shit. Good morning, America, everybody. They all did it, and people asking questions like how and why. You know, again, we've been mil we are military, man. So our mindset is, you know, we training. It's a plan. Like you don't deviate from that plan. You right, they have it scheduled to. If you're in this helicopter, you're flying this route, this route. Did you say deviation? Yeah, I said different. I understand I have mouth circles, sir. Everything ain't coming out like it's supposed to, but I just ain't want to let that slide. You made a whole new word. All of us will come out and whatever let us flow, flow with me. So a lot of y'all don't know, but I'm gonna tell you. So I work with youth. And one of the little kids was walking by me the other day, and he sees me, and he said, I hurt my dominic hand. My dominant hand. I said, Why'd he say my dominic hand? I was like, man, watch out for your Earl hand too. When I coach sports, the kid came and told me, I told my accolades attendant, tap my elbow, yo, who? My accolade's attendant. I said, Well, run down there and tell the other coach that you tore, and I hold a bus to see if you got to like a streak of lightning, he pulls off, runs down there, told the other coach, I can hear him 50 yards away, go, You did what? And I seen him do the signal. I see, yeah, he told him to run back up here and tell me he's about to practice. Yeah. Full speed, he runs back, go, coach said, I can't skip practice. All right, to the locker room, go suit up, bro. Let's get it.

SPEAKER_15

Yeah, the craziest shit I ever heard somebody say to me. So I used to date this one joint and I was at her crib, right? And her aunt was in the other room, and we we all went to the kitchen, we were sitting there talking, and uh, the little kid had done something, right? So the the uh aunt had reached back to smack the kid, but she missed, and the kid took off.

SPEAKER_02

So I we was rolling about it because she almost broke her neck, missing the kid. So I said, Man, you man, you really wanted to hit that kid. I said, You reached back to the archives to hit that motherfucker. She was like, ha ha, yeah, yeah, yeah. So when I go into the living room to check on the kid, the of the joint I'm dating, right? Which is this when I knew I couldn't date her no more.

SPEAKER_11

So I hear her say to Auntie, man, she said, that's why I mess with Scooter.

SPEAKER_15

She said, you know, he always saying different stuff. Like, he said the archives. She said, Scooter, where the archives? And Auntie said, Alaska, I think.

SPEAKER_13

That's what's up. See? I was in the living room rolling. You had to pin the archive in Alaska, though, bro.

SPEAKER_02

Get out. Get out. If this was the South, somebody go chime in and be like, yeah, I've been there. Look, they'll they'll support your life. Like, they'll roll right with it. They're gonna live up in the archives. He's around that area. Yeah, man. Archives, Arkansas. Yeah. We roll witches. We are not gonna try to upstage you. We roll witch. Man, I tell you. One of the best laughs I ever had in my life.

SPEAKER_15

The archives in Alaska.

SPEAKER_02

That's crazy what world we live in, though, man. Lack of knowledge.

SPEAKER_15

It's good skin in the archives.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. They got good food there. Everybody is a model there. Yeah. You can make it up any way you want to. So what's y'all think?

SPEAKER_03

Especially if you're Chris Brown.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Especially if you're Chris Brown.

SPEAKER_02

There you go. He goes all the way back to the archives. The gegensey started there. So Chris Brown, if y'all don't know, kissed this joint at a show. And apparently she was married. And her husband was there. Chris Brown still got teeth and sister. So they they talking about I guess they I guess they tried to ban him coming somewhere else and all this other shit. So one, do y'all feel he should be banned? Nope. And two, what's your thoughts on him kissing the joint? I'll go first. Because I'm married. Yeah. If another man kissed my wife, that's not my wife. She's for the street, sir.

SPEAKER_06

She's straight for the street.

SPEAKER_02

Here's the thing. My wife went to a Chris Brown concert. I chose not to go. Because if it happens, I want to be the last one because I'm not about to look at it on the internet. So she knows she's safe. Somebody gotta come back and tell me. Now, if you're at that swapping spit with this little young ass boy on stage, then that's your business right now.

SPEAKER_14

Man.

SPEAKER_02

You won't just pass her like that. Go ahead on. But you're homeless when you get back to the house. Just know.

SPEAKER_03

We started this segment. He pressed play. That was your wife. Oh. Is that real?

SPEAKER_02

Did you hear what I said at the beginning? As long as I don't know about it. Her husband in the audience. Her husband and the audience. He done brought her up on the air.

SPEAKER_15

Yeah, he done brought her up on stage. He done picked up a joint out of the audience, brought her up on stage. Husband sitting down in the joint. So I'm asking y'all, as lady people.

SPEAKER_02

This is lady people. As a lady people representation. What do you like?

SPEAKER_09

Is that okay? Uh I would never, as a married woman. But also, like, you should know your wife.

unknown

Yes.

SPEAKER_09

You should know if she's going around talking about Chris Brown, Chris Brown, Chris Brown. Because if she had the opportunity, it wouldn't be Chris Brown.

SPEAKER_05

Then you probably shouldn't have let her get go to Chris Brown or went with her. Right.

unknown

He did.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, he did. He showed his face. He was looking sad as hell.

SPEAKER_09

Well, no, if I'm in a deep relationship, if I'm not married, I'm single. She's not for the street, though. She's not for the street, she's for Chris Brown. At that moment. At that moment.

SPEAKER_03

But when he stands off stage, she is for the street. Who's your Chris Brown? Who's your? Clearly, Chris Brown isn't your celebrity. No. Who's your who could pull you up on stage?

SPEAKER_09

Nobody. Nobody.

SPEAKER_02

There's a dude to see you. Beyonce can pull me on stage.

SPEAKER_09

It would have to be female. Beyonce can pull me on stage.

SPEAKER_05

Beyonce can bring the whole bitch out of nigga.

SPEAKER_13

I would be like, if Beyonce was a girl, nigga, I would be. I might float, nigga. I might float.

SPEAKER_05

I might float. Like I can see now. Here we go. Right to Mrs. Give me a Beyonce song. What's a Beyonce song?

SPEAKER_09

Catered to well, no, that's not uh single. Drunk in love.

SPEAKER_13

Still in love with it, you know. And she looks down.

SPEAKER_08

You crying?

SPEAKER_13

And I just still in love with it you.

SPEAKER_02

And at that moment, I don't know if I'm walking up the side. I think I just glide up.

SPEAKER_04

Just floating up the back. Like you just think about it. She could back in the room. I'm pretty sure I just float up to the jaw. I mean, my clothes probably will fall off. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02

And then when I get up there, like, at that moment, I mean, the whole bitch in me would just come out my soul. Like, you know what I mean? Take me. So who is yours? I don't have one like that, technically. Because I always see people as people. Like, I don't do the whole, I don't fangirl. Like, she's just not in me like that.

SPEAKER_06

Janet Jackson and Lisa Lisa from Coke Jackson.

SPEAKER_05

Hell yeah. Well.

SPEAKER_02

Lisa Lisa word. It's just not in me, like, man. But I will say this, and this is speaking for the married dude. If I paid $110 million and Chris Brown kissed my wife in the mouth, man, I paid $110 million. I want everything that show offers. So she gets kicked in the face. Hey, good luck to you. Now, here's the other side. If my wife was bad enough to pull Chris Brown and he wanted to lay with her, man, I ain't gonna lie to you. She wasn't gonna, she ain't gonna ask me about permission. Decent proposal. She's not gonna tell me that what's about to happen. She's gonna go do what she got to go do. I'm one of those is out of sight, out of mind, kind of mentality, and I don't care what I don't know. Man, let me tell you. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

I am officially Will Smith.

SPEAKER_02

I am officially a wrestler at that moment. I'm making my way backstage. I'm getting to the tour bus. I'm doing a you know, brother, I'm coming ripping my shirt off, the whole thing. You better understand.

SPEAKER_11

Could you just kiss my wife and she getting it too? She's gonna catch the motherfucking rock bottom before we get to the back.

SPEAKER_02

25 years under my life, man. I'm gonna be the first one to tell y'all. All that shit sounds great in theory, but in reality, man, when you think about what it's worth, it ain't worth what you what you stood standing lose. Okay. That's 25 years vested. So for my if I took my wife to that concert and shows and she on stage, and the moment it happens, again, part of that is the show. You don't think that lady that wasn't told what's gonna happen if she goes out there on the stage? She has a right before she walks on that stage. She wanted a show. She got an opportunity to say in front of this amount of people in the crowd, she was chosen, all these women who paid who were literally trade spots with that fans. No, it's the truth. Y'all know me.

SPEAKER_15

Yeah, whole V.

SPEAKER_02

No, as I said before, I got 25 years of marriage under my belt. You are speaking as a single man who is not vested in the same way. Again, 25 years, I'd have seen this woman at her best, I done seen this woman at her worst. I'd have been through hell and back with this same thing. At that moment, it would be me at my worst. That moment might be that moment might be the one thing that man means the most to her. Don't mean shit to me. It's a moment. I blink, and guess what? I'd have forgotten who the hell Chris Brown was, and that's how fast it can happen. At that moment, we're both having moments. Hers on stage, mine off stage. When we come together, our moments will merge. And again. And I will moment all over her ass. And all the rest. Moment is what you're looking at.

SPEAKER_03

I don't feel like Jay Will's seen the episode of the Boondocks with Tom.

SPEAKER_02

I've never seen that. So let me clarify a thing for Jay Will. Jay Wheels never seen uh episode of the Boondocks. Let's get there first. Man, never not one. Oh my God. I'm an old soul. I grew up in the South. There are some things that man, you throw it ain't worth risking and throwing all the way for. Are you kidding me? Southern niggas is the worst killers. What people don't pay attention to, there's a lot more to the story than what you're gonna hear and see the reaction of. Yeah, about the murder and the killing. One thing about southern dudes, most southern dudes become stalkers because of the fact that they have been fighting with this woman to keep her for how many years? She's been trying to get away forever. Yeah, I'm like the dude in fire. I gotta fight every night to prove my love. Because what ends up happening is the woman will constantly say, I don't want him, but turn around and call him every night and say, Come over. Man, I can't stand you to my mama, but then call me and tell him I can't live without you. See, there's always more to a story. I don't ever buy what I see. Would y'all believe that Jay Will tells comedy? He tells jokes for a living. Oh, seriously, I also live for a living, too. Hey, I'm gonna let's let's rewind a little bit. What we didn't do, man. We just gonna introduce in the building. I was gonna say, hey, we might want to tell you guys. Man, please introduce yourselves, my brother. Man, if y'all don't know by now something wrong with your ass. This is your boy Jay Will. Yes. It's your boy Big Blue, man. How my special guest.

SPEAKER_09

Jelane, but you could call me Venus.

SPEAKER_02

We're gonna call you what your mama called you. What your mama called you?

SPEAKER_09

Jelane. Jelaine, Jeline.

SPEAKER_11

Yes, I'm your Venus.

SPEAKER_09

I'm your fire. Your desire.

SPEAKER_02

Boom. I like it. And y'all know what it is. It is the funky grandpop in the building. Is that where Venus comes from?

SPEAKER_09

No. The planet. You said that song. Was it that song? I mean she's gonna go.

SPEAKER_02

Just glad Waterbuilding wasn't her favorite song, huh? Welcome to the show, mama. Welcome to the show. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_15

You said take that chance. Shit. Yeah, but I is your funky grandpop, and it is coffee and condoms. We do what we do every Saturday, kicking the Willy Bobo, man, just talking about all these different things, man. And you can also email in. So please email in if you got comments. Um, I do have something I want to talk about. I just I did a post, right, about Northwest shit. Shit that I've only experienced. Not saying it don't happen everywhere else in the world, but I never seen it till I came here. And people started acting like I was crazy, right?

SPEAKER_02

So I never seen cheese on a pretzel till I came here. That was like, so like when I put mustard on a pretzel, everybody looks at me like I'm crazy. And I'm like, what the fuck do you put on that cheese? No. Cheese, I don't just put cheese on bread. You know what I'm saying? Like fucking, I mustard go on a pretzel. You know what I mean? So that's like, no. For those who don't know, we got a off, we got some off-camera people in the building who are making facial expressions. So when you see my face react, it's because I'm watching their face at this at the comedy. We just gave a young lady the shudder of like somebody just walked across that man, she's been running away from for years. He said mustard, and that baby shit something terrible over there. Yeah, I eat grilled cheese. A grilled cheese. Yeah, that's the difference. That's sandwich. That's a slice cheese.

SPEAKER_15

That's sliced cheese. That ain't that ain't wet cheese. You you wouldn't put no craft automatic on a sandwich either.

unknown

But cheese was in a Philly.

SPEAKER_02

No, the fuck you don't. What the fuck?

SPEAKER_06

He's not he's not from Philadelphia, though.

SPEAKER_02

They do it for the young motherfuckers on the East Coast. Don't know real respectful Philly motherfucker. Yeah. Don't don't know respectful Philadelphia and eat a cheesesteak with cheese. They do do it. That's an EVD. But yeah. That's exactly what that is. That's the shit. I done took my son. We might be able to be going back next week. Nigga, guess what? We're not gonna do eat no Philly cheesesteak with no cheese whiz on it.

SPEAKER_06

So where are you gonna go get your cheesesteak from? Gino's?

SPEAKER_02

No, no, no, no. So here's the thing.

SPEAKER_05

So everybody, Gino's is everybody liked to argue Ishka Bibbles, Ginos, but Philly's homin cheesesteaks is Gino's.

SPEAKER_15

But best place to get a cheesesteak is over in South Jersey, Gitano's. Gitano's got the fattest jerk Toggi's joint. In fact, they got one in Philly too, but Gitano's got the best cheesesteaks. They by far.

SPEAKER_06

When I was in the Air Force, we went from Fort Dix when I was training to Philly to get a cheesesteak.

SPEAKER_15

Yeah. And the bad part was you was right there at Fort Dix. You could have just went right to the motherfuckers of Gitano's and got it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

That's kind of like when you go to Chicago. Man, they talk about the pizza. Man, I had a layover. I was hopped in the cab, take me with a bad slice, and it was the worst damn slice I ever. Well, that's what they say.

SPEAKER_03

That's what the city is. Flag square, cut square, and flag. That's our favorite as any Chicago. Hold on.

SPEAKER_02

Hold on, Blue. First off, because I'm Chubby, don't mean I wanted a deep dish slice of pizza. Your inference is off. Just a smidge. That's lasagna. Two, I'm not a big bread guy like that. So I'm a thin crust kind of dude. I just asked for a great slice of pizza because I had hours to cue. Jay Wilson, don't just a soup. Chubby made me a deep dish guy. Don't just insult me. That's what you asked me. That's what I heard over here. Man, I swear these people. I argue with you.

SPEAKER_05

You was up in the peace agency. The pizza agency. The pizza agency. I swear I argue with everything in the agency.

SPEAKER_06

So they got the Delfinos here that do the that pizza that you're talking about. I mean, I didn't like it. Nah. It was just too much stuff on there, man. And if you heard Blue, so he didn't like something to eat.

unknown

I'm gonna tell you what.

SPEAKER_02

I'm trying not to go back to Chicago anytime. Y'all wild in Chicago, bro. Hold up. We just jumped off subject. So we okay with the Chris Brown wife kissy thing or what? It wasn't my wife. Y'all see the cop out. Well, it wasn't my wife neither, but fuck you, Chris Brown. I'm telling you right now, if you see what them tickets cost, man. Man, look here, baby. Get the kiss. Grab his ass while you up there. See if you can get some sweat on your neck. Rub your face on his face hard as you can. Well, if that's the case, get some shit you can sell. Don't you can't sell it. You need herpes. She got what she got. I don't know what she got to sell it or give it away. She got it. Because she got the herpes in Vegas cost $700 a ticket. Yeah. Yeah. You got $2,000 herpes. You call your cold saw Chris C B. Your cold saw is called C B now. What we gonna do? You're gonna get it every month.

SPEAKER_15

How's that ride on the way home?

SPEAKER_02

You be hurt. Did you like Chris Brown's? No, no, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_04

I gotta do it now. I gotta do it. Yeah, all right, and action. Here we go.

SPEAKER_01

Thank you so much for taking me there. Ooh, when I licked his chin, it was so good. Ooh, I tasted on that man's sweat.

SPEAKER_02

Chris Brown on the stage. He can't say what's right.

SPEAKER_08

You knew I loved him. I thought that's why you want me to take it to that code.

SPEAKER_02

On camera day.

SPEAKER_08

I didn't know they was gonna be filming.

SPEAKER_02

It's a concert.

SPEAKER_05

I swear I seen your hand in his pants.

SPEAKER_08

We're gonna go viral. Fuck that.

SPEAKER_04

We're gonna go divorce.

SPEAKER_02

What makes you think it was okay to crisp crisp kiss Chris Brown on fucking stage?

SPEAKER_08

Everybody knows when he pulls you on stage, you kiss the man. Everybody does it.

SPEAKER_02

And he only toured 83 cities.

SPEAKER_08

So that's only 83. One of 83.

SPEAKER_02

You don't even know what you got now.

SPEAKER_08

No. But one of 83. No, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_09

One of 83. What are the chances of catching Herpes?

SPEAKER_02

I know. I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what.

SPEAKER_09

Does he still have it acting on me?

SPEAKER_02

We ain't gonna find out because when we pull over here, get the fuck out. So I found this fly.

SPEAKER_04

Now he probably was more like this. He probably was like, oh my god! What was it like? Kiss me now. Kiss me now.

SPEAKER_02

Give it to me. And then you got simplex 184. You got a simplex that's out like a plate in a football game. 52, 23, 61.

SPEAKER_09

If I was a man, I wouldn't mind it. Rihanna's only thing me playing in my head.

SPEAKER_02

You wanna be a man. That whole fight started.

SPEAKER_03

You're gonna get all of Chris Brown tonight, eh?

SPEAKER_02

That whole fight with Chris Brown and Rihanna started because she said, I'm turning the joint on, and you can be my umbrella, blah blah umbrella. Okay. That's what he said. You didn't use no umbrella. And then you got Simplex 5463, and that's how the fight started with Chris Brown and Rihanna. She said, Hey, what's that on your lip? He said, Ain't no my lip girl. She said, No, it's waving at me. She said, You just and you have an outbreak? I told you don't kiss me when you having no outbreak. And then he got out of the car, started dancing, trying to distract her. Yeah.

SPEAKER_12

You see my chest?

SPEAKER_02

He went to crumping like he was mad, and she was like, Oh shit, you angry. No, he was just crumping.

SPEAKER_10

It was his dance now, trying to keep it crazy.

SPEAKER_02

Y'all see, y'all don't be researching the story like that. I'm telling you, that's how the whole fight broke down. Y'all don't want to hear my version. I talked to a dude that was dead. We've been jumping all over. We've been jumping all over. So, so I will say this, and I'm sorry for the white folks that watch Coffee and Cons we be trying to keep it structured. We really do. We really try to follow the protocol right down the ladder that X lays out. But we niggas. This is water talking. And that shit jumps around sometimes. All the subject. But it can spin off to wherever the hell it might go. What was you gonna talk about? I seen you about to say something.

unknown

You brought up things that you only uh uh experience living out here.

SPEAKER_02

Oh depressor. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04

But we traveled off of that shit. Her shudder made me believe it.

SPEAKER_02

That should be in the hard little shake over there when you say mustard. I don't know what's wrong with the bigger. Over the corner through the woods, but that shit. She was the Kendrit Lamar all summer. That word mustard. Belongs on the fucking breath, though. I tell you, uh sorry. The Seattle dog, that cream cheese on the hot dog, never had it till I came out. I think that shit fired in the motherfucker. That shit fired the fucking YouTube. I'm from the South, man. They're gonna take my southern car when they find out. Like, I don't eat all the parts of a pig. Like, yeah, I don't know. I can't stand the smell of watermelon, let alone am I gonna ever eat any. I don't eat watermelon flavored nothing. I don't need that shit. I grew up in the south, bro. Nah, man. So you gotta think about it. I grew up next to fields. Whatever grew in that field is what you ate. So if they did sweet potatoes, guess what? You eating them fried. I have handpicked a watermelon, and still I love watermelons. No, you've never handpicked them for a living. You picked one that you was gonna eat. There's a difference between the shit.

SPEAKER_07

You say mustard.

SPEAKER_02

You say mustard.

SPEAKER_03

Jay Will like that red clay shit.

SPEAKER_02

Guess what? When I go home, I got a set of flats that I wear before I put my shoes on, because I don't like that red clay. That shit don't come out. Yeah, so I think I am a fan of the Seattle dog. I think that shit tastes good.

SPEAKER_05

Don't put you I mean, that's the thing.

SPEAKER_02

I mean, I was cool. I mean, as far as some shit I never had till I got here, I tell you, I never heard of elf on the shelf till I came here. I ain't saying it didn't exist nowhere else. I just never heard of it till I got here. And that people was actually celebrating it. Like, actually, I was like, yo, when the fuck did Santa Claus become Galactus? He got a herald now, he gotta send the motherfucker out before him? Like, when I never even heard that story before I gotta worry about Santa, now I gotta keep this motherfucker up too. And gotta place him in places. I'm traumatizing my child just to fucking death. Especially if you gotta look like your health to stand at your baby while I sleep. Everybody wake up in the middle of the night, see this little midget on the shelf of it, man.

SPEAKER_03

I was impressed by taking baked pizza by that movie.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I gotta do the work too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. True. I gotta buy the pizza, but I still gotta cook it. I don't get none of your salary. I'm not cooking. At first I was like, man, I gotta go get the pizza and then come on cook it. And then I did it, and I was like, this is motherfucking. I was like, life was good. Yeah, I rather I rather enjoy that. I ain't gonna lie, Papa Murphy's my shit. But that is for Chicago style. We didn't have a Papa Murphy's. Yeah, we ain't gonna that's not an East Coast. You want me to cook the pizza too? I'd have paid you 18 bucks, but I still gotta go do half the work. It should be some type of discounted thing. Like if it's a $26 pizza, I that should definitely be cut in half.

SPEAKER_03

Where should you go pay EBT and get these? That's true.

SPEAKER_02

That is true. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

They do take EBTs.

SPEAKER_15

You can EBT the shit out of some pizza at Pop Murphy's.

SPEAKER_02

But yeah, just to debunk that, Pizza Time will take EBT and cook the pizzas. So yeah, pizza time. If I gotta pick between pizza time and I mean pizza time, that's like getting the safe with pizza. That's like getting that's like getting a bizarro Caesars pizza, man. Crazy. Pizza Time is like the stake-ems of pizza. Not the stakehums. They're gonna take EBT and cook the pizza. Man, so I we are prior military. So this is why I put the Operation Epic Fury because it was crazy.

SPEAKER_15

Man, I seen Donald Trump on the news talking about it. But he was, you could tell he was excited and that he named it himself because he was so he was like, Operation Epic Fury.

SPEAKER_11

It's gonna be great. It's gonna be great. It's gonna be awesome. Operation Epic Fury.

SPEAKER_02

And he kept saying, it kept saying, I was like, he's really trying to push this shit.

SPEAKER_03

What was the other one? Midnight something like that. Yeah. He's just coming.

SPEAKER_11

Operation Green Lantern is coming next.

SPEAKER_04

He's just making shit the fuck up.

SPEAKER_02

Yo, I'm not a Trump fan at all. But he's funny. But let me tell you, this motherfucker just does what the he shows you how greasy our government is. This motherfucker didn't go to nobody about a war. He just started one. And they gonna bust a great thing. He just did like this.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

And started a fight that quick. Look, I threw both hands up and bags out the way. Y'all go throw these punches for me. I ain't never in my life heard us ever having a problem with Venezuela. And all of a sudden.

SPEAKER_13

We went in there and took that boy out of his country. Took him and his wife out.

SPEAKER_02

Look. What? Him and his wife. Brought them over here. Look, locked them up in New York. Yo. They did a crime over here. Yo, locked them the fuck up. Y'all can visit our last I remember Venezuela, wasn't that the little coffee dude? Remember the commercial back in the 80s? You know what I'm saying? With the mule. One mumble. One bundle. Venezuelan coffee. You know what I mean? Like the damn, and now we run it up in the shit. I'm like, what the fuck? They attack the mule, sir. Yo, they attack the muffle. It's crazy. That's all. Out of nowhere. He don't ask no permission. He don't ask for no stuff. He just does what like fuck.

SPEAKER_11

Yeah, I'm doing an interview and my dick shout. So what?

SPEAKER_02

Like, what the fuck?

SPEAKER_06

Like, no, no, and everybody act like he ain't do it. Look, everybody look up. In Texas, they call it the that's the kick door. You know somebody home and you go rob their house? Nobody answered. You go one door down.

SPEAKER_03

I got really shocked. This man got on TV, what, how many years ago? It said, grab her by the pussy. Oh, yeah. And you really just forgot about that. Well, he didn't mean it.

SPEAKER_06

It's locker room talk. That was locker room talk.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_12

And you know there was a convicted felony.

SPEAKER_06

Listen.

SPEAKER_12

Right back in the office. Right back. I'm the only re for the Republican Party.

SPEAKER_03

Everybody when Trump uh when Biden said you're not black if you vote for Trump. And then what is what Trump said?

SPEAKER_15

He's with the President G Z.

SPEAKER_06

So for my job that I have, I had to they they asked, they literally checked my credit score. They asked me if I had any bankruptcies. Yeah. My man got like 11.

SPEAKER_02

They say Donald Trump was one of the worst businesses.

SPEAKER_06

The manager bank, they checked, they checked my credit score, and if I asked me, if do I have any bankruptcies?

SPEAKER_02

Right.

SPEAKER_06

But they ran my my they ran my criminal space.

SPEAKER_02

That means you cannot work out of a bank of America, sir, but you can run the country. That's what that means.

SPEAKER_06

I don't work at Bank of America, I work at the other one.

SPEAKER_02

Oh my bad. No, you got the bank of the hood. American of Banks.

SPEAKER_06

My bank is in the hood, but yeah, it's in the hood.

SPEAKER_02

Is it a black bank, sir? You got the bank of the block.

SPEAKER_06

It's a black manager.

SPEAKER_02

He worked for a dude named Guido that just give out money, bro.

SPEAKER_15

So look, check this out. There was this woman, and she had a bunch of Hispanic workers working on her crib. Right. She's working on a house. They rebuilt the roof the whole nine yards. Right. They did a great job. They're expecting to get their dollars.

SPEAKER_04

And while they're finishing up, this broad calls ice.

SPEAKER_07

He just laughing too hard.

SPEAKER_04

He is laughing too hard. He's thought about it. Because that was gangster.

SPEAKER_05

That you just opened my garage nigga?

SPEAKER_06

Right in the middle. You know who that is, right? Ice.

SPEAKER_07

Ice nigga.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, it's completely open now. Yeah. That dude got the worst garage door opener ever. That shit got a secret code or you gotta go.

SPEAKER_04

You gotta know your ups and downs.

SPEAKER_02

You gotta step on one foot and lean to the right. You know that the this finger is up finger and this finger's down finger. Stop, stop doing it this way. Man, I'm saying right now, you need to call you gotta get a master's degree to work with his garage door open. Yo, but that though, he's just doing what the hell he wants, dude. But man, again, they call it of ice. Yes, called ice.

SPEAKER_06

This is the world we live in now, though. He did, but see, I don't know. So you're East Coast.

SPEAKER_13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

He did the same thing. When he was having people work on his buildings, he was telling me. Oh, Trump did that? Yeah, I'm gonna pay you this.

SPEAKER_10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

And then when it's done, oh yeah, I'm gonna give you this. Well, we talked about this. Listen, I got more bread than you. We can go to court and fight this. And I'll keep you in the country. You're gonna be in court forever, and you're gonna lose more money dealing with this course than I'm gonna pay you. Matter of fact, I'm gonna cut it a little bit more. There you go, take that and leave. And the people was okay, man, and leave. And you gonna take my own. I mean, but that ain't that ain't getting me deported, though.

SPEAKER_02

That's a whole different animal. Like, I told y'all. I did the work on your crib. And out of that I get deported. I got look, two little Hispanic dudes at the store said, We cut grass. I said, Hey, what's your name? He said, I'm Jose. This is Juan. And then another dude came out of the store, he said, he's one too. So Jose Juan and Juan too. When they come to cut the grass, I don't ask no question about what they doing.

SPEAKER_15

Not one bit.

SPEAKER_02

I didn't think about calling ice because that's the police technically, and I don't invite no police to my house for any reason. But I think this lady just ahead of the power curve, man. Look. Yeah, she went to Lowe's. I had my roof done and I seen what that price was. And if there had been one, had that been Jose Juan and one too. Oh yeah, I'd have made that call on that.

SPEAKER_05

Uh, and get the toy instantly.

SPEAKER_09

Before I left, I'm taking it with me.

SPEAKER_05

She'd have she'd have had a sunroof by the time before ice got there.

SPEAKER_06

Some matches up there. We're gonna have a couple.

SPEAKER_02

I'd have took all that money back. She'd have been that night, she'd have been like, damn, I probably should've. Stars look nice. I took the whole roof. Just we'd have been riding down with the back of the truck loaded with her whole roof. Shim it in all.

SPEAKER_09

I bet you people are gonna do that now though. Yeah, that's gonna be a big thing. Somebody's gonna come to her house and FSF us. This ain't the first time though.

SPEAKER_02

But now that's gonna be a thing. Now motherfuckers gonna be hiring Mexican workers all over the place and calling ice for everything.

SPEAKER_06

It happened in San Antonio years ago. Oh, for real? Yeah. They did it in San Antonio. Dude built all parts of Bilaclan.

SPEAKER_02

Of who?

SPEAKER_06

This dude. He was a good thing. He borrowed.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, okay. I figured that.

SPEAKER_06

Had all this stuff built in San Antonio right by Lackland Air Force Station. Okay. And then deported all those people. He went and brought them over from there and brought them here. Had them build a whole bunch of stuff and then got them deported.

SPEAKER_02

Well, they got a free ride back to the outside of the mill. Look at this shit. Look, look, show it axe, show it axe. That shit.

SPEAKER_15

We do not own the rights in this video. I don't know if I had to say that, but I said it.

SPEAKER_02

Man, please do. You know, we'll count 196, 154, 154. They ain't all gonna show up.

SPEAKER_07

Go back to England, bitch.

SPEAKER_02

Say it again, man. All you need is a precedence. Once it's been done. Man, live and swell. What happened? Who losed to live here? A felony and one has been done. One, two.

SPEAKER_06

They got one, two. That's crazy.

SPEAKER_09

Of course, somebody is a felony.

SPEAKER_02

Right. One of the six. And that's what they're gonna lean on. This felony is gonna go work to all six of them.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

And the boss is gonna get hemmed up because you hired the felony. And then it just snowball effects to where, man, it makes sense. And she's gonna walk away with a free roof. Again.

SPEAKER_06

So now she's gonna be like a patriot. They're gonna take her to the White House. Yeah, she's gonna get a tour of the Yeah, she's gonna get a medal. Yeah. Civic duty.

SPEAKER_10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

Right, right. Right. But she got a job, working vice. Oh, I mean, Trump deported, uh not deported, but gave a motherfucker. He gave a girl a demotion again. Uh what's it? Fair Bondi. He put her somewhere else now. Fire Bondy.

SPEAKER_02

Fire Bondy for Lord. Man, look. This dude had a TV show called What? The Apprentice. What was his line in there?

SPEAKER_06

But look at that house though, bro. I mean, like, come on, yo.

SPEAKER_02

But they was hooking it up. They was doing the work.

SPEAKER_06

Nah, but look at her house, bro. She's trash. She's trash for it. She's trash for it.

SPEAKER_09

I hope people in Mary know what to do. It was a fixture. Yeah. The house is right there. Right there. Right there on the corner. Look at that call to action.

SPEAKER_02

All her shit was be gone.

SPEAKER_09

All of it. Take it off.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09

Take all that shit.

SPEAKER_02

Take the pains out the window, everything.

SPEAKER_09

Everything. Take everything. Everything.

SPEAKER_05

She would never be able to sleep. Never. Every time she woke up, it'd be a piece of roof missing.

SPEAKER_02

But that's what's going on. Man, all this. This is just the first of, and man, watch how many more you hear about coming in the future.

SPEAKER_06

If somebody Molotov cocktailed that lady house, I wouldn't even feel that. Sir Damn. Hey, hold on. She ain't got to be in it. She ain't got to be in it. Damn, blue.

SPEAKER_04

Who's choosing? I thought you I thought you was a deacon.

SPEAKER_07

Pull out your church. Yeah, blue.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, man.

SPEAKER_02

You got your little Bible with you? Pull out your little Bible. Pull out your little Bible, sir. Y'all seen the bottles of holy water he brought in. She was a violent. I seen with a case. That's terrible.

SPEAKER_06

When I first saw that, man, I was like, that's I mean, that's terrible.

SPEAKER_02

I don't want her house to burn down, though. I mean, damn.

SPEAKER_06

If they can't, I mean, not but see that's the crazy part of it.

SPEAKER_02

And I understand.

SPEAKER_06

Yep. Her neighbors should should react to that and do something. They probably was with it. What? Like? Yes. Test your insurance.

SPEAKER_05

The ring cams should go to cross to John Burner. See, do that going on.

SPEAKER_02

She love me. She love me now. Hey. Striking matches at the house.

SPEAKER_12

Watching the YouTube video, like, damn, that happened.

SPEAKER_05

Right, right. If I don't have a jacket on, it ain't me. Hey, you see how the agency work? I'm telling you, you're gonna get arrested.

SPEAKER_02

What's that? The words is out there. Her shit catch fire. They're coming for you, blue. Bad boy, bad boy. What they gonna do? What you gonna do when they come for you? This is an operation.

SPEAKER_06

As long as I got a suit on, they won't mess with me. Okay.

SPEAKER_09

We're gonna put the gagency on her.

SPEAKER_06

Today I got the sport coat on, sir. Yeah. With the jeans. Told you.

SPEAKER_02

This dude got some pajamas at the house. He got a sport coat.

SPEAKER_06

No, tomorrow suit pajamas.

SPEAKER_02

I believe he got a three-piece set of pajamas. You get ready to go, hoop? I really do. You got a suit jacket with the shoes on it. Blue, so if y'all don't know, is blue is always in a suit jacket, at least. At bare minimum. Yeah. He's still gonna always wear the helmet. The helmet is the staple to his.

SPEAKER_05

He's gonna rock the Arnold Jackson to the drug come on. Different strokes for different folks.

unknown

What you talking about?

SPEAKER_02

He's gonna rock the helmet. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_05

Here's something. Back to the Nicki jumping back to it. Experience in the Northwest. I never ever seen or heard of this animal until I came here. Most dangerous sea animal in the world, the gooey duck. The what? The gooey duck. Have you seen this nigga? It my God, dude.

SPEAKER_02

It's like, I'm gonna tell you. So I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe in evolution. Hold on, hold up, time out of the yeah. But those who don't know, XI engineers constantly, yeah, constantly sliding stuff other than where the flag at?

SPEAKER_06

X just pulled off one of the greatest callbacks in the game of comedy.

SPEAKER_02

I don't know how to feel about that one.

SPEAKER_06

Throw the yellow flag at X, man.

SPEAKER_02

He just pulled one of the coldest comebacks. That's a callback for you. Comedy, a callback is a beautiful situation. Yeah, that's a gooey duck. Yeah, that's nasty. So here's the crazy thing. So the gooey duck, that's a clam shell. And what it does is it backs into like a clam shell, like forces its butt into it. It spits and everything, right? This is how I learned about evolution, because I now realize that this is where man comes from. And women come from oysters. I'm telling you.

SPEAKER_08

Where the fuck did you get? I'm telling you, think about it. Think about it. Please explain.

SPEAKER_04

You telling me you believe a monkey walked up on the land?

SPEAKER_03

Right? All right. So I would believe that before I believe I'm gonna do it. Okay, listen, listen.

SPEAKER_02

This thing gets up on land and you start to grow from that. That makes sense.

SPEAKER_05

Right, it does everything a penis does. So it comes from the water. Right, it does everything a penis does. It spits and everything. Before it came on land. Yeah, we just penis and then and then bam.

SPEAKER_13

So hold up. We are just a penis as just a dick. Yeah, and we grew from dicks. See? See?

SPEAKER_02

And women come from pearls. From from clams. Maybe pearls. We all grow from we grow from the cook. Don't add on to him and then you did the animation with him and he thought. Come on, see it over the corner there. That's the spitting right there. See it's spitting on the corner right there? That's what it does. See it's spitting? Yeah. And that's like dangerous.

SPEAKER_09

Is it dangerous to us?

SPEAKER_02

No, I just say it's dangerous because it looks, I mean, come on. It might break you in the water, right?

SPEAKER_04

I bet sharks be swimming around like, mmm.

SPEAKER_02

I bet sharks be like, whoa, there's the gooey duck. Yeah. So Ray J's coming. Ray J's coming. Shit. That's the gamecy mascot. Yeah, right. The damn gooey duck. Fucking gooey duck.

SPEAKER_06

So do people eat those? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

So here's what here's what you don't know. Huh? The bulk of mustard. No, no. No. Spray of cheese. No, here's what you don't know. So a bulk of clam chowder that you eat is actually gooey duck.

SPEAKER_06

I don't even know the chat. Well, me either. I'm just saying.

SPEAKER_02

I won't know more. I'm just telling you what it was told to me. My man, my man, go, my man does the gooey ducking. That's nasty. My man does gooey ducking, and that's what he he told me. He was like, yeah, goes up. Gooeycking? He does what? He goes and hunts them? Yeah. Your man goes and hunts. You get like $25, you get $25 a pound or some shit. Are you serious? Yes. He goes where though? What does he do? He goes gooey ducking. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

Probably three of them is like three of them is probably like, see? Gooey ducking.

SPEAKER_09

Why? It's no way they hold him, it's horrible.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah. He's holding it more gently, right? Yeah, that's how Ray J will hold it.

SPEAKER_09

That's a woman and that's a man. You can tell which one we handle it.

SPEAKER_05

See how he's cradling the balls.

SPEAKER_09

And he's taking care of it.

SPEAKER_06

What if you got into a fight and I just smack you with a gooey duck?

SPEAKER_02

Hold up. What if somebody calls you and say, hey bro, what you doing this weekend? You want to go gooey ducking? Are you going?

SPEAKER_12

That happens.

SPEAKER_02

To me, that's like a chance. That's a northwest thing. That's like broke backing, in my opinion.

SPEAKER_06

See?

SPEAKER_02

From a Washingtonian. He heard him. X, I'm gonna say something. X has been invited gooey ducking before. I would definitely not want to record it, so I would have to have gooey ducking. Gooey ducking before you've been gooey ducking axe. You been gooey duck.

SPEAKER_05

I done you look, you you hunted for Bigfoot.

unknown

We didn't do that.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, damn. Damn.

unknown

Was it fun?

SPEAKER_04

Using the Boy Scouts? You just keep dropping on your black cards. Damn, did you get a Ranger bag?

SPEAKER_12

It was the only uh truth that you're throwing up gang songs and we used to make everybody run from us. Like everybody used to be able to do that. Don't try to toughen that shit up. You can't make this. You can't toughen up the boy scouts.

SPEAKER_02

We wore knee house pants and a tie at the same time.

SPEAKER_03

Am I the only thing hurt just one time?

SPEAKER_04

You can't toughen up the boy scouts, yo. You know, we wore our scarves backwards, nigga. Like, what the fuck? We didn't do this. We were.

SPEAKER_02

No, no, no.

SPEAKER_06

I can't hang on. I go ahead and say it.

SPEAKER_02

I know you was a boy scout.

SPEAKER_06

No, no, no. My dad was a district executive boy scouts. I used to do stuff with him when I got out the military. That means yes, you were a boy scout. You was an adult boy scout, you was an adult scout.

SPEAKER_13

I was a boy scout affiliate. He was an adult boy scout. He was an affiliate. You was a Cub Scout. I was a Cub Scout.

SPEAKER_06

He was an adult Boy Scout. If a kid gets Eagle Scout, he gets like scholarships for college.

SPEAKER_02

That doesn't make it better for me. Don't try to nicen it up. Yeah, you can.

SPEAKER_12

That's why I quit. Because I didn't realize I ain't getting no, I wasn't getting nothing for it. I was just over there just going to be a little bit more.

SPEAKER_04

So you didn't go in as an adult boy scout. You had the wrong people behind you.

SPEAKER_06

You had the wrong people behind you.

SPEAKER_02

If you would have been an adult boy scout, you'd have got it. Listen, XY wasn't doing it for the city.

SPEAKER_06

Is it an adult boy scout a private? No. It's certain things you get for being in the Boy Scouts, bro. But did you get military rank?

SPEAKER_02

Did you get gooey up?

SPEAKER_06

Cool haircut.

SPEAKER_02

I wasn't the Boy Scout, so it don't bother me. A life of a helmet. Yes, man. You got everything you supposed to get out of.

unknown

Hey.

SPEAKER_06

In the kitchen, somewhere. Hey, all I'm saying is if you got a kid, get him in the scouts, but make sure to look at it. Don't you dare. Have them in the right hand.

SPEAKER_04

Let me tell you out there, people in TV on it.

SPEAKER_02

And no, they they have recently, not recently, a couple years back, they came out and said that the Boy Scouts was touching them boys. And don't you dare.

SPEAKER_04

Certain people. Not all certain people did those things, man. Look, he was a Boy Scout. Look how his life turned out. Right.

SPEAKER_10

Look.

SPEAKER_04

See? Make him scene, gang.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah, like the one dude, my friend that I had, I brought into the Boy Scout. Oh, you set him up. R. K. R. Kelly ass. He didn't get through any.

SPEAKER_04

He didn't get your nigga. You Epstein Island motherfucker. Oh.

SPEAKER_02

Agony, agony, agony. I can't believe this, dude. There's no good way you can go in there.

SPEAKER_12

He became an Eagle Scout.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, he became a bigger one.

SPEAKER_12

And then it came out that he was touched. They was fucking with his talents. Damn.

SPEAKER_02

They pulled on his beak. They pulled on his beak a little bit.

SPEAKER_06

I'm older than him, so.

SPEAKER_13

No.

SPEAKER_04

But it said when he got off the pool, he was like, nope, nope.

SPEAKER_02

Man, it makes sense why he's wearing this helmet.

SPEAKER_06

I'm gonna say what I'm gonna say. It's gonna push people up. That's bad parenting. If you're gonna send your kids somewhere, take your ass with him. Take your ass with him. My daughter is in front of nobody's house, man. Damn, niggas. Instantly the bad parents. If you're gonna send your kids to a campaign, go with them. You trust the term boy scouting. You trust nobody.

unknown

Man.

SPEAKER_02

Speaking from a Boy Scout affiliate.

SPEAKER_06

I don't, man, listen. Any, any, listen, when my daughter goes to the dentist as a little kid, I was in there with the city.

SPEAKER_07

I mean, that makes sense.

unknown

Yep.

SPEAKER_02

But don't act like these people that didn't take their kids to the Boy Scouts wasn't thinking that they were safe with it. When you drop them off there, like the you go there, you drop them off as a cat.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah, but my mom and dad was like, you on my nerves.

SPEAKER_05

Go get touch, nigga.

SPEAKER_04

Put this uniform on to go find picture. I'll see you in two weeks. Or get a gooey duck. Nah, man. Put this uniform and wear metal draws ever since.

SPEAKER_09

That's good parenting. Put a chassis belt on your child. I'm going to. That's good parenting.

SPEAKER_02

I'm going to. I mean, I ain't the Cub Scouts and shit, that did exist in my neighborhood, but we just, I just never knew nobody that was a Cub Scout, Boy Scout person. I went to an all-white elementary school. It was just. It's what they did. And every time I was see them put that little corny uniform on, I knew I was gonna steal a bike. Your mama's gonna buy you a new bike for Christmas. I'll see you by Christmas.

SPEAKER_06

He steals bikes, but he don't want his wife to get kissed by Chris.

SPEAKER_02

I paid for the Chris Brown tickets.

SPEAKER_08

I told him with the ticket.

SPEAKER_02

But what I paid for that ticket, don't get your herpes, baby. He point you out. Give you the simple. You outbreaking the week. Hey, did the week we just go see other people? Like that shit. Look here. For the price.

SPEAKER_03

Chris Brown is pulling chicks on stage and kissing them in front of their husbands. Imagine what he's doing for women who pay that thousand dollars. For the meeting green.

SPEAKER_15

Yo, the one chick that that chick that did take that picture with him, her dude, that her dude broke up.

SPEAKER_02

And she was like, I don't I break up with my man again.

SPEAKER_09

You break up with your man, you go to the concert, and then you make up. My wife ain't got a breakup with me.

SPEAKER_15

You need to write with me, don't be no making out. We're not breaking up. When she comes back from the concert, I'm in the house with her sister.

SPEAKER_02

Right now.

SPEAKER_15

Why you gotta up the left?

SPEAKER_02

Right now. That's where we are at the end. If my wife was to leave me, I don't know where to pay my life bill. I don't know where the cable companies at. I don't really go in the winkos looking for the stuff that we buy on a weekly basis. I go in the winko and get the shit I see right now. I don't do none of that shit. My wife does. So, can she kiss Chris Brown? I'm gonna have to go put extra four hours in my week. You done lost your damn man.

SPEAKER_15

You kiss Chris Brown on stage in front of the world.

SPEAKER_02

The only way I can get you back is to sleep with your auntie, mama, sister, somebody in your family. You need to catch me. I need to be like, oh.

SPEAKER_15

I didn't know that was your mom. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_04

That's the only way I'm gonna feel better about that. That's crazy.

SPEAKER_02

You've been hanging out with them a lot longer than I have. How do you have you put up with this for this many times?

SPEAKER_04

I'm just saying, I'm not that's the only way I'm gonna feel better about myself.

SPEAKER_02

See what I mean?

SPEAKER_12

That's my wife's questions when I'm with school.

SPEAKER_02

Man, I'm just saying. There's days when I say I'm about to go to scoops, my wife gives me the look, and I just say it makes sense to me. But see, the problem is we've introduced our wives to scoops. So they know the level of what we have to deal with. He says these things all the time. Like that's just not just for the podcast. This is Scoops Police. My wife be like, Damn, he said that for real. I'm like, Yeah, yeah, he said. It don't shock nobody. In the mind of a man. Final words. J Well, what you got? Man, so first things first, y'all know it's the month of April. From the first to the 30th, I celebrate my whole birthday month. I don't just do the day of. So I have been down, health issues. I am finally getting back on the straight and narrow and the right side of shit. So if you are not busy on the 17th in Lakewood at the fan club, man, we're doing a show out there. I gotta can't handle it. Uh the blues on, my man KJ's on. We got some special guests off the dude, come lays up and do the building. But then the following weekend, I do the show that I normally do, that I'm gonna forest fairly. And it's actually after the day after my birthday, so it's my birthday party as well. So on the twenty fifth, we are out of fairway. Uh whatever. What man, don't worry about the tickets pay the door. We ain't turning nobody away, man. We gon' party, party. It's the biggest turn-up, man, for my birthday I've ever had. I got all the comics that I rock with. Man, Blue, Swin, KJ, Scoop, Miss Newman, myself. And then we never know who might pop in there, man. It's what we do. But we're gonna really animate, man, bring comedy back this bad away like we do. And for my birthday, man, we're gonna really chop it up. So last words is man, come celebrate. That's what this month's about. That was a sentence. Paragraph. Paragraph.

SPEAKER_06

So rocking with Jay Will on two events. I got four at night. A couple other joints, man. Just working. Trying to get it in, man. Come be funny with your boy. Your boy. Your boy. Your boy. Let's go, man.

SPEAKER_15

Venus, I'm gonna give you final, final words. So you wait right there. Just you get the last word. But I am going to say, um, I am not booking like you niggas. I need to get back to stripping because I'm fucking up. I don't know what's happening. Well, I'm not booking. I'm not booking the comedy. I will be headlining Ha Ha Tuesdays on the 28th. The 28th, and I'm on them with Jake Will 20. Ain't the 26th? 25th. 25th. Right. So yeah, y'all come fuck with me, man. Come down, have a good time with us, man. We're gonna clown and do what we do. But uh yeah, I will be getting summer's coming, and I got summers off, so I will be hitting the comedy trail hard. So make sure you come rock with your dude.

SPEAKER_02

It's worth it, man. It's dude.

SPEAKER_15

It's a beast. Funky grandpop all over social media. Holler at me. Miss Venus, final words is yours.

SPEAKER_09

Yes, yes. Thank you for having me on the podcast. Thank you for coming. Great time. Um, follow me on your fairy godmom on TikTok. I will be putting out more content when it comes to coffee with Jelaine, um spicy dancer content.

SPEAKER_15

Break that down, because you know I mean, we didn't give you really a chance to shine your thing. Break that down, put that out there.

SPEAKER_09

Yeah, so I do coffee with Jelaine where I do reviews of different Seattle coffee shops. Um, I also talk my shit, kind of similar to what you guys do here. So really love the vibes. Um, and then my spicy dancer content. So I was in the industry for over 10 years. Okay. I was a dancer, stripper. Yeah, that's what I was doing. Yeah, I was a stripper.

SPEAKER_02

All right, Tina Turner.

SPEAKER_09

You know, it was it was a time, but um she said she was in there.

SPEAKER_02

She's retired that blue club.

SPEAKER_09

Yeah, very retired, very retired. But toward the end, I helped open a club supernova, and then I was also a manager. Um, so I've done a few things. I'm out the industry, so like my main focus is to just guide different girls, hence your fairy godmom. She switched up the brand a bit. So yeah, follow me on TikTok. And yeah, thanks for having me, guys.

SPEAKER_02

Well, I would love to have you come back, man. Y'all come back and rock and we get your girl on camera too, since she would have to be back. The way she shut it when we say mustard, man. Oh, she came back with a kicker with us no more. Y'all come back, I'm gonna make sure I got pretzels with mustard, just to make her be like, no, I can't, I can't. That baby.

SPEAKER_09

She loves her pressers.

SPEAKER_02

What was the shiver for then? Because you off camera, they didn't see it. I saw it.

SPEAKER_03

The name of there was the shiver. I was thinking of a real toxic episode.

SPEAKER_04

That would be hilarious.

SPEAKER_02

Trying to bring you back in your back. No, no, no. Cannot be within 100 feet of you. I sent you the picture of my catch up. You see me. That nigga, he might have ruined somebody's credit. I swear.

SPEAKER_05

You don't really want me to say, it's coffee and condoms, man. Catch us next week. Same bad time, same bad channel, man. Two fingers, we out.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

Are we off the air?

SPEAKER_14

I wanna uh coffee and condoms.

SPEAKER_00

So passive woke up them asses. The I was roused in the um their glasses. The I was gone today, we read the tablet. I am just a human, doing shit you can't fathom.

SPEAKER_14

Scooter, aka the funky grandpa. This is Claw Pin Connors, and you are tuning in to the newest podcast. Going down is bananas. I am your host, the funky grandpa, aka Scooter.