Coffee and Condoms

COFFEE AND CONDOMS 63: Trick Daddy vs Jay-Z Debate, Robot Marathon & Texting Rules

Season 2 Episode 63

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0:00 | 1:07:10

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Today on CoFFeeAndCondoms, we’re jumping into a mix of wild headlines, culture debates, and real-life relationship questions.

We start with a headline out of China where robots ran a half marathon faster than humans, raising bigger questions about AI, technology, and where things are headed.

Then we get into hip-hop talk — Trick Daddy says LL Cool J is better than Jay-Z and the greatest New York rapper, and we break down that debate.

We also touch on internet reactions to Amber Rose without makeup, and how social media continues to shape perception and standards.

There’s also a serious and sensitive case involving a rapper accused in connection with a minor, where details and narratives are still being debated — we approach the topic carefully and discuss responsibility, accountability, and how stories spread online.

Plus:

  • A surprising connection as Eddie Murphy and Martin Lawrence’s families welcome a new generation together
  • A local headline involving a river otter incident near the Port of Bremerton
  • A real dating question: how many texts is too many before she replies?
  • And a report involving a New York officer making controversial and offensive remarks, raising questions about accountability and professionalism

Real talk, real reactions, and conversations that go left quickly — just how we do it.

Press play, tap in, and join the discussion.

SPEAKER_06

Oh, what then?

SPEAKER_04

What the hell? I'm gonna say, let's look at it again. I'm gonna send it back to the people to look at it again. Okay. And say, check it out. Yeah, it's a connection. Your credit scores are shitty. I can't do nothing for you. Come on now.

SPEAKER_06

I'm bouncing back.

SPEAKER_03

You can finagle the numbers and make my credit score not be a fucking shitty.

SPEAKER_04

And then when I get fired, where I'm gonna live. You got a new house, place to work or live.

SPEAKER_03

But now you set up. That's when you set up in the back act in the back attic and we get business going. I do live here. Stop. Stop. He been whooping the ass like that. The last time he was here, I gave him the business. No, the last time I I gave him the business.

SPEAKER_04

I was over here living. I've been having my my damn blue blue. First off, Blue hadn't got no wins ever since he said no. That's a lie, that's a lie.

SPEAKER_03

And then he started winning. No. And he was on a good streak. When you first came around, you wasn't getting no doubt.

SPEAKER_04

People don't play right. I'm not letting my man win. Ain't nobody giving me no w's. I'm just saying, I'm not gonna take 20 and nobody need 15 and play 20.

SPEAKER_03

Do you have to understand the sentence? He did it to you. You wasn't getting no W's at the beginning when you started coming around. We didn't talk about nobody else's gameplay.

SPEAKER_04

You gotta be on everybody's gonna be. We're not talking about nobody else's gameplay.

SPEAKER_03

You wasn't getting no W's.

SPEAKER_04

You take 20, not knowing what a hell four trade is? Hell no, I'm shutting it down. I didn't get my 20, but your man just won. That's what I say. That's putting it together. I said, how the hell you take 20 and you don't get what four now, now, nigga, it wasn't ball. But J be on T's without being on T. No. Kobe the check. Kobe the check, man. Oh the L U, man. Yo, fuck all that.

SPEAKER_03

It's Saturday. This is coffee and condoms, man. Shout out to my people in the room. I got my family in the room with me today, man. So we're gonna make sure we introduce everybody. But uh please, from the far left, introduce yourself. It's your boy Big Blue Man. Different jacket. And so right here, we're gonna come back to you.

SPEAKER_06

It's Miss Newman, baby.

SPEAKER_03

Yes, sir, and I is your funky grandpa. But in the building, my sister, my people, my one of my best friends on the planet. Miss Man, introduce yourself.

SPEAKER_08

Hello, uh Michelle Lambert nowadays.

SPEAKER_03

Nowadays, yeah. So you see how I love her introduce herself? Because I'm gonna tell you.

SPEAKER_08

AKA Don.

SPEAKER_03

D got so many monikers, it's crazy. I never seen let me shut up. Let me shut up. I'll be saying something, and then all of a sudden you ISIS will be knocking on our door. God damn it. She can up and walk out.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

We did have that happen. We did have that happen. What's good, man? Finally, a nice Saturday here in the Northwest. How's everybody doing, man? All right.

SPEAKER_06

It was a beautiful day.

SPEAKER_03

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood. Great day. And tonight we are all at Jay Will's born day celebration. Happy born day, Jay Will. He is not in the building today because he is already probably pre-funkin'. But happy born day, Jay Will. And we will all be in attendance tonight to smash and kick down the door of your birthday party.

SPEAKER_04

And I got you a gift, brother. Well, actually, some chocolate. Some chocolate crown. Oh, they bought you a girl in the chocolate. I got him. What you get?

SPEAKER_03

Watermelon crown.

SPEAKER_04

No, no, no. He's gonna see me in some Air Force Ones.

unknown

Oh.

SPEAKER_03

Blue be getting all the slave flavors of crown. Crown that you never seen no other black person.

SPEAKER_04

You gotta try all the crowns. I haven't tried it yet. I haven't had a reason to. Nobody wanna drink it with me. With the blackberry shit? No, no, no. Blackberry go hard with lemonade.

SPEAKER_03

No, the new flavors.

SPEAKER_04

It's like Marquise, is what you say. Oh, yeah, I heard that talking about it. Nobody wants to drink it with me. My wife don't really drink like that, so I don't I don't have no friends to drink with.

SPEAKER_03

I don't want to drink Marquise. I don't want to drink Marquise. That doesn't sound like you know what I mean. What'd you drink it? Marquise. I got a nephew named Marquise. Yeah, no.

SPEAKER_05

I mean, I'll drink it with you, but if you're not drinking.

SPEAKER_04

Alright, I'll get some next week, bro.

SPEAKER_05

If your drink drinker, if your best drinker for is half your age, I'm just drinking. Week after that. Week after that.

SPEAKER_04

That's exactly what it sounds like.

SPEAKER_08

I would say I drink some. I get about two shots of crown apple before I'm heartburning. 26 is a naho only.

SPEAKER_04

What does that mean?

SPEAKER_08

I'm only drinking a naho. What's a nail? Nah. Dark, dark tequila.

SPEAKER_05

So you know tequila has three levels. Yeah, blanco, ribsano, a naho. I don't even really drink tequila unless I'm in school.

unknown

It looks like dark wishes.

SPEAKER_03

I've never had a nayho.

SPEAKER_04

Have you had the Lamborghini? Yeah, some people got to tequila.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, all right, snobby drink girl.

SPEAKER_06

Well, you treating on a nayho tonight? Because you know, this shit is doing my bottle. And when she came back, that shit was $30 a motherfucking shot. When she said $30 a so what the hoo-a.

SPEAKER_05

That's that Castle Azul.

SPEAKER_06

Yes, that shit was $30 a shot.

SPEAKER_03

I just said, yeah, I don't know what they was talking about. Have y'all had the Lamborghini one? Lamborghini what?

SPEAKER_04

It's like a tequila. It's like in a real it's it's like a hundred dollars. Is it in a bottle of Lamborghini? When someone's $300, I have to pull it up for you. It's like a Lamborghini.

SPEAKER_03

Do y'all remember just because we're talking about bottles and shapes? Do y'all, because we are old old enough to remember. Do y'all remember the cologne bottles that used to be shaped like horses and cars and wheelbarrels? Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, that's Avon. It's Avon shit.

SPEAKER_03

Avon shit. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

Looking for a smooth tequila.

SPEAKER_03

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_05

Kevin Horse.

SPEAKER_03

Drink a meal. That's it, right there. It's all right. It's all right. I don't know how it's the part of it. I think his is dope. I actually think the rocks is a little smoother. It's the Lamborghini tequila.

SPEAKER_08

This is Kevin Hart? No. No, no, no.

SPEAKER_03

The Rock's tequila to me is a little smoother than Kevin Horse.

SPEAKER_04

One of my neighbors had a birthday party and I went by his house. Yeah. He was drinking that right there.

SPEAKER_08

I've had that right there. I've had which one? Classe Azul.

SPEAKER_04

The heart?

SPEAKER_06

Yes, that's the blue one. Yes, I've had that.

SPEAKER_07

I've had that.

SPEAKER_03

How much is that about that one? The Egyptian look at John?

SPEAKER_07

The blue and white right there.

SPEAKER_03

Next to the heart.

SPEAKER_07

It's two to keep it. Correct.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, I've had that. I am not drinking the shit from the heart. That looks like that is death in a bottle.

SPEAKER_08

I'd try it.

SPEAKER_03

You would. I would.

SPEAKER_04

You would. The Lamborghini is cool, though. I had some of that. I didn't even know I was. It's called Lamborghini.

SPEAKER_08

That's how that classy as well is also like that. Okay. Yes. All right, Drink Champs. Yes.

SPEAKER_03

Shout out to Drink Champs. Shout out to Drink Champs.

SPEAKER_06

That's the keynote that I can. Bring me back for that show. So scroll it up. See the blue one?

SPEAKER_04

With the blue three down, the blue, that's the one I had. Can we bring the gin back up?

SPEAKER_03

We out here. At Lamborghini go hard. You got some at the house? You should bring that instead of the big bottle of gin that you brought up. If I get alcohol for free, I bring it.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, I prepare.

SPEAKER_05

Alcohol is the best alcohol. We did that that gin.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

And that's the crazy part. The gin did get drunk. And I'm not a gin drinker. Yo, have y'all peeped this shit? I don't know. I keep talking about it because I feel like I am the only person out here really concerned about this robot takeover. Am I the only one?

SPEAKER_01

Mm-mm-mm.

SPEAKER_03

I feel like I am. And this is why I keep bringing it up almost every episode, because every other week they're doing something new with robots. These motherfuckers just ran a half marathon. And did it.

SPEAKER_06

And these are who's gonna be the cops.

SPEAKER_03

And these are about to be our soldiers and some motion. Well, you see where it's at. They had a bunch of robots out here doing this. And and like the ones that was qualified for something, and but but uh they was doing it and they did it. They broke a record, they broke a world record, they did it faster than whoever did the the half marathon.

SPEAKER_08

So now they're gonna run and chase down people.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, these are these are they're training to be, these are gonna be our future. This is our future. We're gonna have like soldiers and anything. Not running, man. What's iRobot? Robot iRobot. I won't be iRobot. I won't be here by the time this is all happening.

SPEAKER_03

It's happening right now. Right now.

SPEAKER_08

You see the poke, you see the post.

SPEAKER_03

It's gonna happen here first. Microsoft will be still watched. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_08

It's definitely no no no. We don't even have those Waygo driving cars they have in LA. They're just everywhere. Everywhere. Everywhere.

SPEAKER_03

Yes, X just test drive the X just came picked me up in a self-driving talking. Yeah, and we kicked it.

SPEAKER_08

That's what they have in LA. They're jaguars. They drive you. They're driverless. All over. All over.

SPEAKER_06

We had a conversation with the car.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

Half marathon.

SPEAKER_03

Look at them shit. Half marathon.

SPEAKER_06

Now, have you seen the police dogs? No, robot police dogs. Yes. And the thing of it was was um there was a big to-do about it because a little boy was out in his yard playing and he came outside the yard in some kind of way this dog started, this robot dog started chasing him and shit. So yeah, he was attacked by one of those dogs. Did it have robot dogs? We're gonna have to start walking around with shit. Yeah, did it have peas? I don't know. But if it has whatever it has, it's a shocked his ass though.

SPEAKER_03

Like a little taser on it.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, but shit.

SPEAKER_03

I mean well, either way, if it's coming after you, you're gonna run. You know what I'm saying? Like, we I'm not waiting around for it, you know what I mean? Like I'm black black.

SPEAKER_04

Robot dog, man.

SPEAKER_03

Shit. You don't know what's gonna happen. Like you said, what if it tases you? What if it runs up and jump on you and not like you know it weighs pounds? Yeah, it weighs some pounds.

SPEAKER_05

Just to affect it, and when you tell it to stop, it'll stop.

SPEAKER_04

What if it's programmed to come after darker complexed people?

SPEAKER_06

That's that's a whole nother, that's a horse of another color.

SPEAKER_03

Since we have touched on this, this subject, it is the last of the topics, but let's bring it to the forefront. Y'all heard about that cop, the Spanish cop. I forgot where she was at. The Spanish cop.

SPEAKER_06

He was in New York. Houston, yes.

SPEAKER_03

Yes, the Spanish cop who I think I said NY, but I because I thought they said she was an NY cop.

SPEAKER_08

She was a former Marine.

SPEAKER_03

Right, right. Went in on black folks. She got donkey of the day on on uh Charlemagne in them joints. And I 100% agree. She went in because she she apparently she was at a restaurant or something, sat her wallet or something on the table, and claims that one of the waiters or somebody who walked by tried to tried to gang her, right? Or somebody. Like even I don't know if it was a waiter or somebody. But I'm like, if you're not paying attention to your shit, that's one of your problems. Too, how you just gonna sit back and assume it's some black people? So she's on the thing, nigga this, nigga that these niggas, I hate niggas, da da da. Tomorrow, if a black person comes, uh, if I get a call and this is a black person, they're going to jail automatically. Like, what? And this is you're supposed to be protecting and serving.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, I think they should go back. First of all, fire the hell.

unknown

Fire.

SPEAKER_03

They did, they did, they did.

SPEAKER_06

Okay, and then second of all, go back to every fucking case that she's ever brought ever and drop them. You got to. Drop them. Because we know that she's she's prejudiced. And she was racially charged. Yeah, so everything that she's did, or anybody that's caught a charge, drop every single one of them. I don't give a fuck. Unless unless she was assisting on something that has something to do with children. You know, she's an assistant cop. But if it was a call that she made, she would rather. I don't know if they got assistant cop. Oh, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. Okay, okay. Right, right, right, right. But other than that, drop every motherfucking thing. And then put her in a put her in a jail with some nigga bitches.

SPEAKER_04

But she's gonna get a protective custody if she's a cop, though. They're not gonna just let her hang out.

SPEAKER_03

But it's just crazy that this that you this is your job. She's gonna be a good thing. No, she's not gonna go to jail.

SPEAKER_08

She's gonna get rehired at a person. Well, they fired her somewhere. They fired her. But then she's gonna get away.

SPEAKER_03

She's gonna get a job in Utah or somewhere. No, no, no.

SPEAKER_04

She's uh part of Texas where there's predominantly Utah and Idaho.

SPEAKER_08

She's I'm sure they've already reached out to her. Would you say she's offered a job? Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

She's gonna go to Laredo. That's all that's in there. She's gonna go to Laredo, she's gonna go to um Corpus Christi, she's gonna go somewhere with the heavy heavy population of those people and they'll hire her. Utah not gonna hire her. Utah don't like others. They're there though, but they don't like others.

SPEAKER_06

If you come, you better be, you better act whitewashed. You better act like Robert.

SPEAKER_04

What she said has been going on for years.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, but it's just crazy to me. It's just that's what I'm saying. I've just been going over years, but it's just crazy that here you are, person that's supposed to serve and protect. This is your job, and you out here speaking like you just don't give a damn. Number one, and number two, you saying, wait till tomorrow, if I get a call, I'm gonna do this and that. How many other motherfuckers is thinking the same way, dude? That's right. That was what I was gonna say. That's crazy. That's crazy.

SPEAKER_06

How many, like especially?

SPEAKER_03

You cannot leave your house as a person of color and not be worried. Come on, man. Yeah. That gotta have you on 10.

SPEAKER_06

You know today. Yes, you know what's even worse. You watch it.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, no.

SPEAKER_06

But what's worse is those self, those the ones that hate their own race. That's even worse. That's even worse. Because you'll get even a black cop that'll see another brother or a sister and be like, but just like was a ministers or something.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, no, no, no, boys in the hood. I hate you.

SPEAKER_06

I hate one of those cops.

SPEAKER_03

I hate your black lips. I hate your gums and the back of Forest Wither's neck.

SPEAKER_06

I hate your gums because they black. Yeah. So that's even worse. So you'll get a white car that'll see poor poor white trash and be like, I hate them. They they make my kind look bad. So you just racism is just so fucked up, period. And you have assholes everywhere.

SPEAKER_03

Man, a lot going on in the world. I don't know if y'all peeped it out. So Trick Daddy had come out and said that L was better than Jay-Z. He he felt he ranked him higher, and and and he also said he was better. Now I understand why Trick Daddy would say that, because that's his era. You know what I mean? I I I completely understand why you would say that. And an argument can be made. Yeah. But realistically, as a hip hop head myself, I I would be remiss if I did not say that Jay-Z is just overall a better artist than LL.

SPEAKER_06

Yes. Yes. Yes.

SPEAKER_03

Yes. Now, but but but you also gotta look at two different things now. LL, LL always been uh a certain type of artist. When he came out, LL knew I'm coming out and I'm appealing to this audience. He said all that. He had some shit for the fellas, he has some shit for the ladies. This is what it was gonna be. He didn't know this is what it was gonna be. Jay-Z had wasn't coming out that way. Jay-Z's not coming out, Jay-Z over time started having shit for ladies, but that's not how Jay-Z came out.

SPEAKER_08

And he didn't come out solo, he came out with a group.

SPEAKER_03

Well, he came out, he came out as a hype man with Jazz O and her. Yeah, Juan and Sophie. And then they left and became the originators, and and he was doing that, right? But all I'm saying is that they were they were came out going to two different audiences. LL is the master of what of his style. You can't take that from him. Right? You probably don't have no fast rappers without LL. You had Kumo D who was first, well, Grandmaster Cass first, then Kumo D kind of was the next fast cat, and then you'll be the next fast cat, and then LL, right? So you got these cats that came out and marked it as okay, we're gonna be faster rappers with our arcadence. But Jay-Z to me, lyrically, is just on another level. But again, LL is LL. I don't take nothing from him. Uh definitely a go. Definitely a go in her part.

SPEAKER_06

But Andre 3000 and and right. He don't got enough solo projects, right? He doesn't have enough solo. Well, yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_03

And order for in order, so here's my thing. In order for you to be even ranked or looked at in any top anything, top 100, first off, you have to have at least three albums or more.

SPEAKER_06

Longevity.

SPEAKER_03

Solo. Solo albums. Right? I don't care what rap group you in. If you ain't got at least three solo albums, you can't be looked at as a great. Just because you haven't done enough. That's number one. Right? Um, number two, are you writing your own material?

SPEAKER_04

You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_03

You gotta look it up. Just like everybody knows that Jay-Z is a ghostwriter for a lot of cats.

unknown

Right.

SPEAKER_03

I don't mean he writing now.

SPEAKER_04

I mean, um cats be lying. I mean, he was taking credit for writing songs on the city.

SPEAKER_03

That's one thing Puff didn't do. Puff said in his rhyme. He said, Who cares if I write rhymes? I write checks. Everybody knew Puff wasn't writing no rhymes. Right? He ain't pay nobody for writing them rhymes. He was right, just like they ain't paid DLC for writing a lot of easy E rhymes. Right. But but but before DLC, they wasn't paying Ice Cube. Ice Cube was writing first. Yeah. You see what I'm saying? So, like, but we know, we know who's writing. It's it's a known, right? Like, you kind of know who's writing they shit and who's not. Not saying once you get famous, you don't find ghost writers, because now I'm not in that life like I used to be. I can't. So yeah, I find somebody who can write my style. Papoose, ghost wrote for a lot of motherfuckers. You know, what's the cat? Uh uh um uh his name is uh what's his name? He's on the he's on the gone song with Common. I mean, not Common with uh Kanye. Um Consequence, I think it's a good one. Oh yeah, Consequence Ghost wrote a lot of cats, you know what I mean? So you do have ghost writers out there. Shit, uh Gilly the kid.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, right? Allegedly. He did, allegedly. Stop, he did. Nobody said he wrote for him. Lil Wayne said he didn't write my stuff. Stop, stop.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, little Wayne ain't saying Gilly wrote it. Yeah, yeah, whatever. Lil Wayne sent out that check to shut Gilly up, is what he did. I'm just speaking, I don't know. I'm just saying, allegedly. Allegedly. But again, so you know, there's a lot of cats out there with ghostwriters, but you can sometimes certain styles, certain flavors. Like you can tell that red man is writing red man shit. Right. Right. But red man also will say certain lines and repeat them, right? Like, you know, he he'll say like um something about him loving fat bitches. You know what I mean? Like that's like a thing that he puts in his rhymes. Like there's little things that you can say that, okay, that's a red man thing. Not saying nobody couldn't mimic his style, I'm just saying that's a he do. Like, like Rockham, right? You know a raw verse.

SPEAKER_04

Rock him is the greatest ever. You know, greatest. Amazing. You know, which you know who I love before they went to jail? If they would have not gone to jail, I mean Keith Murray. Keith Murray would have confused.

SPEAKER_03

Yo, jail for Keith Murray.

SPEAKER_06

Um, but he's not in jail no more. No, he's smoked out right now.

SPEAKER_03

He just not allegedly.

SPEAKER_06

So ain't no fucking allegedly. They just showed the video of the nigga running after the chick when she was uh when he was smoked out.

SPEAKER_07

Allegedly.

SPEAKER_03

Hold on, hold on, hold on, wait, wait, wait, wait. Keith Murray, bring that up, ex Keith Murray. I am not Keith Murray on crack.

SPEAKER_04

Allegedly. Allegedly. Keith Murray had. We're just gonna yell it out, Keith Murray on crack.

SPEAKER_03

If it comes up, I'm bugging.

SPEAKER_04

If it comes up, I'm bugging. Don't show us that, man. Let's see. It's gonna hurt my heart, man.

SPEAKER_08

Allegedly.

SPEAKER_04

Need some. Oh, it came up. Damn.

unknown

Keith Murray is a crackhead. I told you so.

SPEAKER_08

Did you come up with this on here? Because you knew they was gonna look it up. I told you so far.

SPEAKER_03

Play that video, Axe. Can we play it? Can we play it? We do not own the rights to this video. Don't own that rights to the video.

SPEAKER_04

But don't do Keith Murray bad, yo. Come on, man. That's the the most beautiful punching phoney MCs in the world. He's drunk.

SPEAKER_06

That's somebody that's that's off of some. That's that's uh that's that that's Sherm. That's that's Sherm. He got the shell toes on.

SPEAKER_04

Oh Keith Murray. Come on, Keith. Is that him? Looking like Bobby Brown right now. Looking like Bobby Brown.

SPEAKER_06

That's not he's on Sherm. He's on wet.

SPEAKER_03

That's not cracked. No, nah, chill, Keith Murray. Oh, agony. That's he's on wet.

SPEAKER_06

That is not crack. That is not crystal math. That is Sherm.

SPEAKER_03

Uh that PCP water.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. And he got a tall can. You know, it's laced in that blunt that he got. Yeah.

SPEAKER_08

Let me just say, I am so glad this is not happening. Videos when I was man. That hurts. That hurts. That hurts. Broke it in my heart.

SPEAKER_03

That does, man. Broke it in my heart. You keep throwing it in my face, man. Like about it. I know you don't smoke. I'm sorry. That's Keith Murray. That broke my heart. That broke my heart.

SPEAKER_04

The most beautifulest. But it but again. That's my one of my favorite songs of all time. Yeah. Standing on top of the Maserati in the video. Yeah. Man, that's that's my guy.

SPEAKER_03

Damn, that cave crack. PCP, man. On that shit. Remember when they had the one joint from um In the house, and she was cracked out, and she was yelling at the car. She's better now, though. Yeah, she got better. She got better.

SPEAKER_06

She's doing stuff with Tyler Perry.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, so speaking of people who are looking weird now, Amber Rose had a viral picture that came out with no makeup on. Y'all see that? No, actually, let me tell you, she looked like um uh what's my man? Vaughn, Vince Vaughn.

SPEAKER_08

She looked like Domino.

SPEAKER_04

Nah, she's like that serial killer chick that uh Charlie Steron played in that one movie. She does. Yeah, she looked like Monster without makeup on, fam. Golly, she looked like Monster. Any of them right there, son. Dang she looked good.

SPEAKER_03

She looked like Mark Wahlberg. Yeah, that's what I compared her to. That's what they compared her to. She does.

SPEAKER_06

That's just what they said. That she looks just like Mark Waller.

SPEAKER_04

No, she does like Mark Wahlberg. She wanted a Wahlberg brothers now. Yo, I don't know. It doesn't look like her too. With makeup on was a sexy dude.

SPEAKER_06

It does be like her. It looks like it could be her sister. It doesn't look like her.

SPEAKER_03

Nah, I don't know. They wouldn't have to be Marky Mark away out there.

SPEAKER_04

Come on now. That's why Kanye didn't marry her.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I don't know. How you fix that? Yo. She's looking rough and she's looking rugged. Oh, yeah. Large Marge. You talking about Large Marge. She looks like she takes penis, nigga. Whatever she is. Get in to get naked.

SPEAKER_06

See, that's crazy because they roll around, uh, they roll around Hollywood without the makeup on and shit, thinking that they're unnoticeable, but they're those photox be right out there.

SPEAKER_03

Be right out there. And you know, it's that's like without all the the uh what you call that shit, or without but without the the the shit, the the needles in your face. Yeah, yeah, see now that that's the everything then set to where you're photography up though, because you gotta go every day.

SPEAKER_05

If I saw her walking down the street like that, right, I would not know who she is. Not at all.

SPEAKER_03

She can walk right by you. And she didn't think they know her ass. And she was pregnant in this in that picture. So if you see the full picture, her whole belly, everything is out. She just walking around like.

SPEAKER_05

Well, she got the belly, but yeah.

SPEAKER_03

100%. 100%. Like she drive a Subaru right there. Yeah, they look like they drive two different whips. Yeah, right. For real, for real.

SPEAKER_06

A Subaru and uh BM and um and a Mercedes. Subaru out there. They definitely look like they're the one on the right drive a minivan.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, they dating each other, they dated two type of dudes. The one on the right drive a minivan and got a girlfriend. And the one on the left.

SPEAKER_06

That's her name, right?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Next to it. That's bad. Oh shit.

SPEAKER_06

But you know, it's crazy because uh we were in the mall. We were at South Tail Mall.

SPEAKER_03

You and you and Ember? No, me and my granddaughter. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_06

We're at South Tail Mall.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_06

And um, we just walk, I'm just minding my business. And nobody, no, no, just walk minding my business. And a lady from across the way, she was like, Are you gonna be at flight time? And I'm like, I didn't think she was talking to me, a flight path.

SPEAKER_02

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_06

And I'm like, you know, I just kept walking. She goes, You need to come the flight path. And I'm like, and she was like, Yeah. Ain't you Miss Newman? And I'm like, Yeah. And she was like, you know.

SPEAKER_03

You had a stalker?

SPEAKER_06

No, I was just surprised that I was even recognizable.

SPEAKER_03

Oh. Yeah. So I think people know you. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_08

No, that's the city. It may be, it may be the crown. Maybe the TR. But I didn't have it on. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_03

But but I I feel like the people know you though. People know you.

SPEAKER_06

Well, all right. Yeah, yeah, people know you.

SPEAKER_04

But it does feel good when somebody sees you and say, hey, ain't you?

SPEAKER_06

Like, yeah, well, the woman was gonna get killed at the buffet, but I ain't gonna talk about it then.

SPEAKER_03

So what's the rapper do? Y'all seen that? David.

SPEAKER_08

Ah with the girl in the trunk. The girl in the trunk, yeah. Y'all see that? That's great.

SPEAKER_04

That's old though. Yeah, his name is David.

SPEAKER_06

No, no, it's not old, nah.

SPEAKER_08

That's happening right now. Yeah, but it's kind of old, they're just charging.

SPEAKER_03

You're charging him now. So they they finally didn't say his name. He done did it. Yeah, they knew he did it. Yeah. But they proved it. They was talking about how he was cooperating. They couldn't prove he did it. Yes. But they proved it?

SPEAKER_08

They found her a while ago.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I know they found a while ago, but I'm saying it was in his car. They said it. So now they come up with a story. Like what happened?

SPEAKER_08

Is like I think initially he was out of town when they found the car, so they didn't charge him and so he had an alibi. But now they're now that they've done some evidence and how they charged him.

SPEAKER_06

There's a there's a video of the room. Yeah, they're pulling her ass back in the room. She was trying to make it. She's backstage at his concerts.

SPEAKER_08

Like there's she's photographed at his concerts backstage.

SPEAKER_06

She was a young joint.

SPEAKER_08

She was like 14. Aspiring singer.

SPEAKER_06

She was 14 when she first ran off with him.

SPEAKER_08

13 when she met him. Yeah. And then 14 when she ran off.

SPEAKER_03

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_06

But now the what it is, is the reason that so she ran off Love Her Family type shit. A few times. Several times. And um, but they knew where she was.

SPEAKER_03

Alright, let me ask you this. Y'all are women, mothers. Your daughter's on some, I'ma see him no matter what type shit. Right? Do you I'm gonna ask the fathers the same thing. But do you do you fight against it or do you or you do you be like, fuck it? You know, she's gonna she's gonna go see him anyway. So let him just be in her life. What do you do as mothers? What is you what is the role?

SPEAKER_08

Are you talking now or like in past generations?

SPEAKER_03

Because it's different. I'm just asking y'all, I don't know, how do you want to answer it?

SPEAKER_06

At their age, I would, I would, me myself, I'd go after the nigga. If my daughter was 13, 14, I'd go after his ass.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

You know, because okay, you wanna you say you're gonna go after him no matter what, bitch. I'd rather you hate me for putting his ass away than me worried about you because I'm not I'd be motherfucking damn if I just say, okay, here's my daughter. I mean, no, nigga, I'm gonna come after you.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_06

You, me and every motherfucking body I know are gonna come after you, but ain't gonna be shit left after you when I get it.

SPEAKER_08

I think for me, I need to have a talk with my daughter and understand where this is gonna go. Yeah. Just so that we understand where this is gonna go. I'm not gonna yell at her, but I'm just gonna let her know this is gonna go here. I'm gonna do this, so you have a choice. Stop seeing him or he could go to jail. So you, you, you too can be a part of this, right?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, yeah. She's gonna be part. I'm gonna tell you, as a father, is she's gonna be part of the ass whooping process. I'm going in there, I'm gonna beat the brakes off this motherfucker, is what I'm going to do. I'm gonna stomp his ass so bad that she he's not gonna want her to come see him. That's how bad it's gonna be. I'm gonna take off his behind so bad, she's gonna be like, come over. And F what my dad say, he's gonna be like, you know what? Nah, I can't go through another one of those.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, but let me tell you something. That's the shit that backfires on us a lot of the times. Yeah. Because then he will say ain't gonna make her wanna love him. Yeah, but no, but I'm saying then you have that weirdo motherfucker that will get back in touch with her with his face fucked up and be like, you see what your daddy did? Yeah, yeah. And then that starts some more. That's how much I'll be back. So then you got someone just after the ass whipping, he must go to jail. Yeah. And that's the season desist. Then you already got him, but uh after the ass whipping, he must go to jail. Other dads.

SPEAKER_05

And shh, you wanna go first? All right, I'm pretty much anybody.

SPEAKER_04

So I'm gonna say this and it's not gonna be well liked. Okay. The time we in now, yeah, the kids don't know the danger that they in because of the security we done put in place. Okay. You know, right now it's a it's a scam going on where people are FaceTiming you as the actual person that you want them to be. You know what I'm saying? Hey, this is Angelina Jolie. You need to we can do this and that, and send me some money. Right. It could be a dude, but then they got the little mask thing in on it on the little car. What you're portraying could be dangerous. Right? Because if you love your dad, you don't want your dad to go to prison, do you?

SPEAKER_03

That's real.

SPEAKER_04

Because I'm going.

SPEAKER_03

Because I'm going.

SPEAKER_04

I'm gonna be judged, I'm gonna be judged by 12. We're gonna be carried by six.

SPEAKER_06

Yes, yeah, yes. I got an Amen on that one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We were just gonna do that.

SPEAKER_03

And you know, I just you know, it's just a thing better myself. It's just a thing for me. I do live here. You know, it's just a thing in the in this neighborhood. You know, but you know, it's just a thing for me. I don't understand, like, as fathers, as parents, as what we do, like to see my daughter end up in a trunk or somebody. I mean, granted, I don't know her family situation, right? So I don't know how she was able to be so free and end up with just some grown rapper cat. You know, I think a lot of people nowadays be like, oh, he's a rapper, somebody.

SPEAKER_08

It wasn't the freedom, she was a runaway, which caused the lack of urgency in the first place because she was known to run away to this guy.

SPEAKER_04

But the trauma thing though, kids will act like my parents make me clean my room and life sucks at my house. And they trauma bond, right? They trauma bond. You your parents like that too? Yeah, I gotta clean my room. Take out the trash. He's like, he's older, he's in his 20s. He's late 20s. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_08

No, he I thought he was like early 20s.

SPEAKER_04

I thought he was like 21, 22. Early 20s, but she, yeah.

SPEAKER_08

So then he was like 18 and she was like 13.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, because he he took her around with him for a minute. Correct. Correct. She was at the backstage and everything. And then something happened, and they were like, on because she went back.

SPEAKER_08

They were like on and on again, off again. Like her teachers at school knew.

SPEAKER_03

Wow. Well, she probably running around telling everybody, I'm dating little.

SPEAKER_05

I don't understand. Like, what are you doing as a parent? My 13-year-old is not coming in and telling me, oh, I got a guy like he's 18.

SPEAKER_03

No. My 13, first of all, coming in. You're coming in. Coming in. You did you hear his words? Coming in. Where are you coming from that you're not coming in with me? Because I need to understand, other than school, which you be coming in with your siblings or off the bus, or if you're a solo kid, I just don't understand how you are away from me at 13 years old to where you end up in a relationship with a dude that's a good idea.

SPEAKER_04

What the biggest problem is right now is this.

SPEAKER_06

They're online. They're online meeting each other. They're talking online all the time. They're talking online. Texting.

SPEAKER_04

Let me tell you, Instagram and all of that. Let me say this.

SPEAKER_03

I remember when when cell phones, we all do, but we remember when cell phones first had come out. And I remember when when they started getting a little fancier, and my daughter was born, and when she hit around, I think, 10, 11, she was like, I want a phone, right? Everybody was getting phones. She wanted a phone. And I said, I'm gonna research phones. And I found this joint called the Firefly. And it was a little tiny joint. Five numbers. No, you could put 20 numbers in it. It only had like five buttons. And you could put 20 numbers in it. And once I loaded up all the family people numbers, aunties, uncles, grandmas, and such and so forth, there was enough room for her to have four people put in her contact. And she put her four people. And then there was an emergency button for the cops. Not my one. It was a uh a button that was automatic direct to me and my and my bet and my her mom. And that was it. And that was her joint, and she rocked that phone probably from like 11 to maybe 13.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08

Okay, that's a good one. That's a good one.

SPEAKER_03

You know, now mind you, you can't find nothing like that no more. Now even the smallest phones with you just gotta you upload the least amount of stuff to it. But you know, but again, that's how I was with my shit. Wi Fi. Yeah, you're not just gonna be out here busting it open with a phone and looking all the up the data and stuff. And I remember when I got her her next phone, because I remember one day she was like, Oh, daddy, my phone does this, this, and this. And I'll be watching movies, and I was like, I'm like, I don't have those features on my phone. How is she watching movies on her phone?

SPEAKER_08

And I'm grown with a job.

SPEAKER_03

Right. And I'm like, so I'll go back and look through the stuff. I was getting charged for these movies. I said, no, no, put a stop on that. What's what's going on? She was like, Yeah, well, I was like, first of all, I don't have that access. How she got access? She was like, she's just hitting play and it's gone. I said, well, y'all need to go ahead and stop that. Yeah. And I and I made that stop. I put the brakes on that real quick.

SPEAKER_04

I was like, oh, crazy. With my daughter's phone, we we limit a lot of stuff. Then her mom sent her an iPhone. I was like, she's not using that iPhone until I get it to her. I'm gonna just pay a bill. You pay child support to me. You could have just kept on buying her stuff and not got her a phone because she got the same the Galaxy 23. You ain't gotta get on no damn iPhone because you got an iPhone. Just give her some money, man. No negative.

SPEAKER_06

My granddaughter broke her phone and has money sitting $300 to herself right now to go buy a phone that her dad gave her. She refuses to get one if she can't get an iPhone. I said, Well, you'll be a computer using phone motherfucker then. I'm not giving it away.

SPEAKER_04

I can't get an iPhone 2 for $300.

SPEAKER_06

I would have given up because she got it for free. I said the iPhone 2. As long as it has nothing, because you're not getting it. Look, my phone bill went from $80 back down to 40, and that's where it's gonna stay. I'm not putting my name on shit. My credit is $780. I'm not you can kiss my ass. She can get a boost. $199.

SPEAKER_03

I'm about to get one of them old people phones, right? No ear bricks. Yeah, I'm about to get me like old people phone. You know one of them old people accounts where every when everything just costs like this much. I'm about to get me one of them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yo, so here's the thing. Yo, I posted a video about them tic-tac shoes, right? The big white shoes, like new balance got a pair, Nike monarchs. And it's supposed to be like you're, you know, you're orthopedic. They're good for defeat, right? Most guys, like, I'ma say in their 60s and up be rocking them, but there's some 50 year olds rocking them. But I see them and I'm like, I don't, I've I gotta come to grips when I'm at the age where that might be the shoe I need to try to get. But I'll be refused. The hocus. I refuse.

SPEAKER_04

You need them hocus?

SPEAKER_03

Dude, I'm wearing, they expensive. I'm wearing shells till I can't wear shells no more.

SPEAKER_04

I'm not gonna get it again. I'm not gonna be able to get it. Or the Phoenix shells, fam. Where? With the crazy bottom. These right here, man. You know I'm a K Swiss guy. My wife was cleaning up well, I helped clean up the garage, and she saw, hey, I'm gonna throw some stuff in the trash. And I was like, Oh, them on Muhammad Ali's. I couldn't find no. So you don't even wear these.

SPEAKER_03

Yes. Just you couldn't find. No, I didn't wear them. Them look like Muhammad Ali actually wore those. Yeah. They're comfortable.

SPEAKER_04

And Adidas is too narrow for me. That's why I don't even like Shelter. I got wider feet.

SPEAKER_03

So Shelter's the only sneak I can wear in Adidas because it's wider than the regular Adidas. Beautiful, beautiful.

SPEAKER_06

I gotta ask the question.

SPEAKER_03

I gotta I go.

SPEAKER_06

What makes you feel as though you're ready to wear the uh senior citizens? The Cadillacs. Is it your back?

SPEAKER_03

No, I've been waking up and my feet have been hurting.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_03

Like, like I wake up and like literally walking, I'll be like, ow! Like an arch? It might be plantar fashion. Maybe my arch is dropping. I don't know. I just like my feet just be hurting, and I'm like, man.

SPEAKER_08

Sounds like you need insoles.

SPEAKER_03

Like I need I need a whole foot massage.

SPEAKER_08

You need insoles. Yes. Yes.

SPEAKER_03

Right, but then the insoles are gonna lead to the tic-tac. Go buy a pair of Nike Monarchs.

SPEAKER_08

Is it your heel or is it the ball of your foot?

SPEAKER_06

It's it's both. Either way, the sketch or try this. Just try this. Get you like two water bottles. No, get your water bottle. Oh. Your water bottle. Do like that. Fill it up. Uh-huh. And do the and and because you may have people have bone spurs because you do walk. Yeah. So try that first before you go ahead and graduate. Because I had them and this foot. And like I get off work and um work in graveyards, drive 16 miles home and get home and cook, like, oh, what in the hell? Bone spurs. So I tried that.

SPEAKER_03

And it's just crazy to me to wake up and my feet be sore. I'm like, what have I been kicking in my sleeve? I hope you don't have the gout. Man, I'm saying. Oh, that gout.

SPEAKER_06

Yes, it starts in the feet.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, that's that's that's how it is. I do.

SPEAKER_06

Oh, well, yeah, all right now.

SPEAKER_03

I thought it'd be the gout, but I don't eat pork like that, but I eat it.

SPEAKER_04

No, it's just meat, meat and alcohol causes.

SPEAKER_06

Just go get some blood work, though.

SPEAKER_03

I just have some done at the VA, but I need to feast. No, don't go to the VA.

SPEAKER_04

Go to a regular doctor. VA be a there'd be a veterinarian in there. Just a weekend boy. It'd be a vet. Hey, son.

SPEAKER_03

I'm a doctor. Black people always got advice for you.

SPEAKER_01

You know what you should do?

SPEAKER_03

Would you put two rocks in your shoes? We got some roots. Who put two rocks in your shoes and walk around with a salt packet in the back of your mouth?

SPEAKER_08

Do that for 22 minutes. If you do it too long, you're gonna get correct in salt. Yeah, it's gonna fix something else. You don't want that.

SPEAKER_06

You don't want to need that to have to ache. When it starts to ache, you did it too long. So, but you know, it's crazy because they worked. They didn't know. Those people stayed alive a lot longer than we did. Yeah, yeah. They didn't have McDonald's and Popeyes.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah, they didn't know.

SPEAKER_06

I mean, 80s and 90s and hundreds and stuff like that because they ate the right shit and they did not use all this prescription type of shit.

SPEAKER_04

Before my grandfather passed, he had a rule at his house: no microwaves. Oh you couldn't eat. My grandma had to reheat his food on the stove. He had no microwave. When he died, my cousin plugged the microwave up in the house and it shut all the power off. The day we had the feast. That's crazy. She was like, So we're gonna use a mic, he's gone now. I was like, I told you don't do that. He's still here, man. It's his man's house.

SPEAKER_08

Me neither today. I prefer the oven. My dad does an oven too. Bacon. I own one.

SPEAKER_03

I will microwave the shit out of some shit. I shouldn't, but I will.

SPEAKER_08

I've since moved to the air fryer, but I've heard that the air fryer is the way to go.

SPEAKER_04

That's what I heard. You can put some in there frozen.

SPEAKER_08

You can re-fry fries. I'm good with that.

SPEAKER_04

That's what I heard. We got two of them. I heard that the air fryer is that bit, is like crispy fries.

SPEAKER_06

Try some of that. Try some air fried chicken. That's what I'm doing. You can air fry anything. Yes. You can do some chicken wings. No, no, no. You can fry.

SPEAKER_08

As long as it's a dry, you can, yes. You yes, you can yes, you can air fry chicken. Yes.

SPEAKER_03

Y'all see the Eddie Murphy daughter and Martin, or Eddie Murphy's son and Martin daughter. I didn't even know they both had kids old enough to kick it with each other.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Eddie got 38 kids, man.

SPEAKER_06

His oldest, that Bria or Brea. How many kids Eddie got?

SPEAKER_04

I don't know.

SPEAKER_06

I know him and Nicole have five.

SPEAKER_04

He got double digits and things. And then Eddie's son.

SPEAKER_08

That's Eddie's son and Martin's daughter.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. So that's the case. Google how many kids Eddie Murphy got, bro. He got about 12 kids. Do it? 12 or 13?

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, because he had five with Nicole. He had one before Nicole, a daughter before Nicole, who's all but I ain't know Eddie had that many kids. He got little kids. Nicole's. Then he married, he's got kids with uh with the white lady that he's got he's married to now. I didn't even know he was married still. Yeah, he married a white chick. My bad. If he's still married.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, he got 10. That's enough. Yeah.

unknown

Damn.

SPEAKER_08

But that boy, that son does look like Nicole. Like his eyes, like he does. He looks so good.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, there they are going right there. Oh, he got so much.

SPEAKER_06

But you would think they, you know, they know they have to know each other.

SPEAKER_03

You know, I mean, when you famous, your kids all know each other because you know they all they all emergency. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_08

Black comedians in Hollywood. So that circle is like with the Wayans. Like you just have the family.

SPEAKER_03

Right. So they were raised together, so they better since yeah, they probably was dating way back. They probably went to the prom together.

SPEAKER_06

I hated that movie.

SPEAKER_03

Life?

SPEAKER_06

I did.

unknown

What?

SPEAKER_06

I'm gonna tell you why I hated it.

SPEAKER_03

Speak on a sister.

SPEAKER_06

I hated it because I hated the fact that like Eddie always got Martin into it. You know, it's like it was a repetitive thing. Like you can't pull yourself out. You have why isn't that you're gonna be a little bit more than a big thing? My only issue.

SPEAKER_03

With life, he did life. Like I wanted them to get away. Yeah. Somewhere. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, they both died. Right at the game. At the game. I was, I hated that. I was like, come on, man.

SPEAKER_04

Really life, nigga? Yeah. For the time, that's what happened. That is what was happening. I mean, like, what happened to Hurricane Carter, the boxer dude? They did him hella dirty. They did him dirty. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Here comes the hurricane.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, black movies make you mad. They do. I ain't gonna say yo. Black movies will have you ready to go to war. I remember. I remember when they had Roots had first come out.

SPEAKER_06

Yes, it's alright.

SPEAKER_03

And they had they made a big deal about it on TV. It was gonna be airing that night, it was gonna be five nights, right? Monday. I don't know a black family back in the 80s when Roots came out. I don't care how dysfunctional your blackness was. When Roots came out, y'all sat down and watched that motherfucker. Y'all sat down and watched that, John. And I remember going to school, and at the time I was going to Kennedy, it was in Willemville, New Jersey, and I was going to Kennedy High School, and we might have had maybe 80 white kids in the school, maybe. And they all hung around the little bike areas where they smoked their cigarettes. And I remember the whole front of the school was just packed with black folks. And everybody was like, we're gonna fight them. We're gonna fight them. They might have been a good three, four hundred of us. I was like, we're gonna fight them, like them 80 kids. Yo, Roots that night. I remember they let the kids go home early that day. Yo, Roots was hot. Like, like you, man, black TV back then was strong. You had to you had to be strong to watch it.

SPEAKER_08

Not just that, they had just hey, after we watched Roots, we got what? It's time for Soccer Zulu. What?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, Shocker Zulu's back though.

SPEAKER_02

When Shocker Zulu came out before Roots, boom, boom, no. After me was after.

SPEAKER_05

Queen. I was thinking about the Jackson Fly movie. Uh-huh. And uh uh the Temptation movie.

SPEAKER_06

If it was an Alex Haley movie, it was at least three days. If it was Alex Haley. Okay, okay, yeah, 10 Commandments.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

Mm-hmm. Queen with Alex Haley. Yeah. Uh what else was three days? Yeah, oh that damn the Ten Commandments was damn sure gonna come out before Easter. Excuse me. Before Easter, here come the Ten Commandments.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, that joint's long.

SPEAKER_06

Shit. That's all right. You know what I miss? You sat there and watched that motherfucker.

SPEAKER_03

You know what I miss? I miss the Charlie Brown holiday joints.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

Whatever, like, you know, yo. I still watch it. Me too.

SPEAKER_03

All the time. All the time. Like, yo, the great pumpkin patch. The simplest drawing cartoon was just hella dope, man. Was so dope. So dope. Them cats used to get it popping in the joint.

SPEAKER_04

And now kids are doing those dances and begin because the original house party. Do the original house party.

SPEAKER_03

Yo, getting it popping with a little tiny piano. Yeah. Turn the whole party out. He pulled that little piano out and turn the whole party out. And then get in there and get it.

SPEAKER_06

I mean, that is my Christmas song. Yeah. That's the gift. Valentine's Halloween. And then what's the other one that did? That's another uh Charlie Brown song, too. This but Charlie Brown is just the shit. Yeah. Not the new Charlie Brown.

SPEAKER_03

Not the new Charlie Brown. It gotta be the new claymation Charlie Brown's name. Oh, do they? Yeah. I know the lady talks now, and that can't be it. She's supposed to talk like Charlie Brown that's supposed to be like yes, ma'am.

SPEAKER_08

Okay, ma'am. Sitting next to the redhead girl.

SPEAKER_03

Right. Okay.

SPEAKER_06

None of the adults talk. Yeah, that was it. None of the adults talk. Not even Scoop.

SPEAKER_03

Not even the parents. Yeah. Not even Snoopy talked. The only time you heard Snoopy say something when he seen Woodstart, they go, hey. Yeah. And they just they had their own communication. Snoopy was the coolest motherfucker. Snoopy went to New York and got into a battle. It was red bearing. The red bearing. Yep. He went to New York and got a breakdancing battle in the street.

SPEAKER_06

Snoopy was the shit.

SPEAKER_03

The only time you've seen the uh the black kid and the uh actually be black on on on Charlie Brown. Charlie Brown. Yes. Yo, classics. Those are the days.

SPEAKER_08

So I saw Fantasy Island and Love Boat on this channel I found the other day, and I'm stuck. That's it. That's it. I was too scared to watch Fantasy Island when I was little. Now I'm watching it. You watch all you catch an eye. Okay. You're like, yes, the play. Watching Love Boat. I'm ready to take a cruise. I'm ready to find me a Julie and a steward and a gopher and an Isaac Doc.

SPEAKER_03

Somebody. I was just on the phone with my man. And he was like, Scooter, you gotta take a cruise. Let's go. Let's do it. For real. I've never been on a cruise in my life.

SPEAKER_08

Next year our birthday. That's what's up.

SPEAKER_03

It's so much fun. When's your birthday again? May 25th. Find out where you're gonna go.

SPEAKER_06

That's long enough to take at least a three day, a good three days.

SPEAKER_03

That's all I need. Like if we're gonna go.

SPEAKER_06

By the time we're all inclusive, no motherfucking kids.

SPEAKER_02

None.

SPEAKER_06

I don't want no motherfucking kids. Because my friend went on a seven-day uh-huh and she was like, she was like, I just knew you know that it was all inclusive, no kids. You know what I'm saying? Right. Yeah, I don't I don't remember. But she was like, as soon as we started docking, she, you know, get you know, boring, she was like, I started seeing strollers and shit. And she was like, she was the more strollers I get, she said, the more I felt my fucking blood pressure just like rising. Like, you ain't gotta be around.

SPEAKER_03

No, it's just that you want to have you wanna have adult time, you want to be able to walk around drinking. You can do that on a cruise.

SPEAKER_04

No, yes, you can. When they got kids, I don't want to. If you bring your kids, you can't drink. If you go on the cruise, you can do whatever you want. I don't want to see. I don't want to see. We had the all-inclusive. I want to conserve it.

SPEAKER_08

I'm away from my kids. Yeah, cruises a lot.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. Yeah, just don't take your kids.

SPEAKER_08

But we need to go on a virgin. It's 21 and over. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_06

There you go. That part right there. That's what I'm looking at. I don't mind, I don't mind seeing some obvious trick.

SPEAKER_08

I'll be in my own world. We just need to know you can drink. That's it.

SPEAKER_03

I want to be partying on a cruise.

SPEAKER_06

You can knock me the same people every day if you if you choose to. I'll sip and I got y'all back. There you go.

SPEAKER_03

I'm trying to be bucket naked on a cruise. That's what I'm trying to do. I'm trying to be bucket naked. I'm trying to tell you.

SPEAKER_04

You didn't see they they stopped doing the dances on the cruise. You can't line dance no more. For real? Yeah, just a few months ago they stopped all because it was people like y'all going. That's that's why we want to go.

SPEAKER_08

You can't take a carnival cruise. That's the cruise that I'm not heard. It was carnival.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, people line dancing and wild. I'm trying to be out there naked. I want to be out. Yeah, we're gonna be able to do that.

SPEAKER_06

Pick it up there naked.

SPEAKER_04

Pick a naked cruise, and you that's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_08

You know who? You should find a Michael Basin. A who? A Michael Basin. What's that? He is a polygamist, but he's a a um what do you call it? Uh DJ. I don't want to be getting raped. No, he's no no no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You I'm like, you might like Michael Basin. See if he has a cruise. You might want to be on that cruise. But they have a um um a deep breath cruise?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, yes.

SPEAKER_06

It's a community, like a community cruise, we swapping and swinging and all that kind of shit. I don't know, I've never been to one, but that's the one we want to go on. Allegedly.

SPEAKER_08

You're gonna have a lot of fun on the cruise, bro. Allegedly.

SPEAKER_06

I want to walk out of the adventure.

SPEAKER_03

I want to walk out and be like, oh shit. That's what draws is optional.

SPEAKER_05

That's what's roll. Yeah, those have fun when they be naked.

SPEAKER_04

We take the women in everything.

SPEAKER_02

My bad, y'all don't have experiences of big.

SPEAKER_08

I've got experiencing them, but I'm gonna talk about it.

SPEAKER_03

I've been on enough roller coasters in my life. You know what I haven't done? Walk butt-necked on the motherfucking cruise. But I roll the roller coaster, can't be too much different. They make my head different.

SPEAKER_04

You know, you know, you're gonna be butt-naking on the air. You're not going to the cruise with them too. Please don't if you think of this.

SPEAKER_08

I'm gonna be butt-naked on my balcony in my room.

SPEAKER_04

He wants to be butt-naking just walking around. Shock is a little boom boom.

SPEAKER_08

I'm gonna be like this. Here we go.

SPEAKER_02

This nigga walking. This nigga. I'm gonna be walking up. I'm gonna finish McMahon. I'm gonna finish McMahon walking down the cruise. Sending my drink.

SPEAKER_03

That's what I'm gonna do.

SPEAKER_06

I'm I'm gonna be naked, but I'll have a I'ma have some kind of coverage. I might not have no pasties on that motherfucker, but I'll be on the cruise. I'm just saying.

SPEAKER_04

Like I said, I was like now to be in my room on the cruise.

SPEAKER_03

I'm not down there. Okay. On my back. No. That is the point of getting older. Being older, being at when you I am at the age I am comfortable with my body. It is what it is. We should be able to be naked around each other. Yes, but not on the cruise, though. Because some people don't know on a dog cruise, just like you go to the what's the hedonism? Right? Y'all heard of hedonism, right? Yes, but I haven't been. Like hedonism, right? You don't go to hedonism not thinking you knock on my possibly naked. I'm talking about being on a cruise where people know that you could be naked.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, yeah. You pick the naked cruise. Google naked cruise because you can find it.

SPEAKER_08

Well, you know what? You just I think it is, it's a hedonism cruise. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

I think that's what it's hedonism cruises. Uh-oh.

SPEAKER_08

I know there's a resort. Yeah, I know. I don't know if there's a cruise. I thought there was.

SPEAKER_03

I don't got no problem being naked. That's all I'm saying. And at the age I am. You see what she's just saying?

SPEAKER_04

See, I'm married. I don't want to go on a new one. You can take your wife. I don't want I don't want to go on the naked life.

SPEAKER_06

You can swing with your wife.

SPEAKER_04

Don't only swing.

SPEAKER_06

I'll push my wife on a swing. I'm not gonna watch somebody destroy my wife. I'm swinging. Parties, shows, what do you think? What noise was that?

SPEAKER_03

And Vets never heard Walker.

SPEAKER_04

That would be terrible though. Think about that. What? If you swinging with your air, your your your current and somebody make her make some noises that you ain't never made her make. You sit there like this.

SPEAKER_08

Take the opportunity to learn. That's why you don't go swinging with your brother.

SPEAKER_03

She just said, no, she just said that. Yeah, I'm not swinging with anybody I care about.

SPEAKER_05

He was like, I went to a swinging spot with my wife, and we just went thinking like we might do something over. And you know, we were doing our thing, and somebody came up and didn't really acknowledge them. He was like, I went to the bathroom, I came back, and it was three niggas tearing my wife up. He said she had one hair, one hair, and one was tearing her up. And he said all he could do was go back to the bathroom. He said when he came back out, he it was he was he was able to get back in. He said I got real close.

SPEAKER_01

It was a That's crazy.

SPEAKER_03

That's all you can say. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, fuck that. I do that's why you don't go to stuff like that with somebody you care about. Like, yo, I'll be back next week. Don't bring him. Nah, I'm not going. If I'm if I'm going to stuff like that, I'm not salah. Yeah, I'm not.

SPEAKER_08

There's there's if I'm going to stuff like that, I don't have a partner.

SPEAKER_03

Exactly. There you go. There you go.

SPEAKER_05

Exactly. If I am going with someone, it's someone who I'm going to be comfortable with. You going off and doing your thing. 100%. Like me and Scooter.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

We might get lit and do something.

SPEAKER_06

No. No, but like me and Scooter. Yeah. We say, like, hey, hey, look, hey, you go over here, I'm gonna go over there. If we see each other, be like, hey, but but if you good, I'm good. Well, meet back here, and the James has some dinner.

SPEAKER_03

That's it.

SPEAKER_06

That that's that's that would be a hypothetical trip.

SPEAKER_03

So since we was talking about boats and shit, this is my transition. Since we was talking about boats and shit, y'all heard about this river otter. There was a river otter that attacked a kid in Burminton. Down in like near in Portland somewhere down there, like Birmington, Portland or something like that.

SPEAKER_08

I think so.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, exactly. But what's crazy because I ain't know that otters will jump on you. You got to jump in.

SPEAKER_08

Are you fucking with it?

SPEAKER_03

I'm I I don't know the story. I just know that this otter attacks my like sticks and rocks at him. That's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_08

Was he provoked?

SPEAKER_03

I thought they was gentle animals.

SPEAKER_08

No, I know everything of it. Well, if you fucking with me, then yeah.

SPEAKER_04

And it would look like food or something. Or the babies was there and you getting too close to my kids. Yeah, yeah, that's true. Yeah, male elders. Yeah, it don't matter. I ain't never heard that.

unknown

Yes, a dolphin will rape me.

SPEAKER_06

I don't know how something with no goddamn hands can do something. Right. Right. I don't know how something with no goddamn hands is gonna rape me.

SPEAKER_04

You don't never see that? Who found that out? How do we know this? Dolphins pull it on out. Hell yeah. Yeah, they'll be playing the dolphin in the water, dolphins pull it out and be trying to get on there. You ain't never seen that. Never.

SPEAKER_06

Never. I I I heard about that, but I don't know what the what the what it was, but I also saw in Bremerton and the Greg Harbor area where the uh otters got on top of those people's boat and wouldn't get the fuck off. And those fuckers are huge. I didn't realize how big they were because you know we only see their heads. I saw that. I didn't see that. That's what they said. That's what they said, that they think that they were running from a uh from an orca because they would not get off that boat. That boat was leaning like this, and it was too big over there. They've been up there just chilling, like like god damn it, we gotta niggas, we gotta take our pictures out there. Did you see that? The little boat just the little boat just sink, trying to sink in the back. They're like, they were looking at the other people, like people were taking pictures, they were like, fuck you.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I ain't going no. We all go to the same place.

SPEAKER_06

You see the people that motherfucker.

SPEAKER_03

That's crazy work.

SPEAKER_06

Did you see what Chase does?

SPEAKER_03

So I saw this thing where this lady said, This is this is the the the last of the last of the conversations today. I saw this thing where this lady said, you shouldn't text nobody more than twice after you meet them. Right? So I meet you, I text you once, you don't you don't answer whatever, I text you again, boom, and I shouldn't text you twice in the same day, they said.

SPEAKER_08

That sounds good.

SPEAKER_03

So I shouldn't text you twice in the same day, and if I text you twice within the same week and I don't hear from you, then I should know that that's a wrap. Is that what that is?

SPEAKER_04

For real?

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04

I don't know I'm married, so I don't know what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_06

But if like like like like sis and I were discussing, right? If I like you enough, or if we like each other and connect enough to exchange phone numbers, when you text me, I'm gonna text back. PDQ. Or as quick as you know, when I can't. First of all, if I give you my number, I expect a call within 24 hours.

SPEAKER_08

Within 24 hours.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, it's when you get to my generation because women nowadays are scared to say no, so they'll give their number out.

SPEAKER_08

Scared to say no. Well, that's a problem.

SPEAKER_05

That's a problem.

SPEAKER_03

Right, and just so they can just dish you. Oh, that's some dumb shit. They give it out, they'll give it out. You call and they won't answer.

SPEAKER_08

My time is too valuable, and I appreciate and respect your time, so I'm just gonna say no, thank you. That's a bobblehead. That's right.

SPEAKER_06

That's it. And those are bobbleheads.

SPEAKER_03

Can you tell me what can you tell me what PDQ is?

SPEAKER_06

Pretty damn quick.

SPEAKER_03

Oh. Okay. Let's put that in Mr. Newman's dictionary. I didn't I didn't know. That's not in my dictionary, because he even knew what it was.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Oh. Do you do you answer the PDQ? That's the thing. You do that? PDQ?

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you text me, I'm trying to respond fast. But I mean the only woman that messages me. I never heard PDQ. You heard that before? PDQ? This one. I can't see me, Johnson. Johnson? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_08

If I give you my number, you need to contact me.

SPEAKER_03

If it's out of 24 hours, ladies out there in the world, fellas out there in the world, what is proper response time? Let's say age 30 and up. 30 and up, proper response time for somebody to hit you back. You give them the number of how long you think you hit them back.

SPEAKER_04

Depends on where you meet them at, though. When you in the club, that's a different time.

SPEAKER_03

If I meet you at the club, I'm at least expecting to hit you probably the next night.

SPEAKER_08

24 hours. That's all right.

SPEAKER_03

Because I met you at the club, so I'm probably trying to get you out to hang that night. Let's mean you go drink now. We we done met out somewhere doing this. Let's mean you go poop hill out and go do our own thing.

SPEAKER_06

And that's okay too. If it's like if we met at the club and you call after the club and be like, let's kick it. And I'm not tired or whatever. I felt you're gonna be able to do it.

SPEAKER_03

Now, yeah, now she got, you know, she she gonna kick him over, I might hit you that night.

SPEAKER_06

Like, yo, we're going to breakfast.

SPEAKER_03

Right. That's right. Right. We damn still eat after I don't know. But motherfuckers don't do that no more. Motherfuckers don't do that no more. Motherfuckers don't go eat. You be like, what you doing after this? Shh, nah.

SPEAKER_06

If you trying to work your way up to some, if you're trying to.

SPEAKER_08

Maybe that is, because I think that's how kind of we linked up. Like my girls was with your partners, and we was like, Where you going? We're gonna go to Denny's. Okay, we all going to Denny's.

SPEAKER_03

D had a back in the in the in the 90s, D had a crew, I had a crew, our crews used to get out. That's what it was. We would hang out. And then we knew other people that had crews. And our crews all would link up and kick up. That like we Denny's was the after hour spot. That's where you went to. Everybody was there. You know what I mean? That was the club after the club.

SPEAKER_06

Sure was.

SPEAKER_03

You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_06

Even back home. It's the well, where we the breakfast, but the 24 hour hours water was iHop.

SPEAKER_03

IHOP and Whataburger. When I was down when I had Whataburger. When I was down in Tennessee, it was Crystals. Crystals Little Burger Spot. Everybody went to Crystals.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, we had we had we had all three. We had IHop, Whataburger, and uh I mean if you and the PC.

SPEAKER_04

Whataburger was for a fight or chick you missed in the club. You trying to see her again. That's Waffle House. Waffle House didn't hit Texas, like it hit everybody.

SPEAKER_03

We had a spot in Jersey uh called Crown Fried Chicken. Crown fried chicken is the after hour spot. They don't close to like four or five.

SPEAKER_04

Meet somebody. It got there. We ain't have it like everybody else had it in Georgia and stuff.

SPEAKER_06

That Waffle House in Kansas was nasty as shit.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, Waffle House was the food wasn't that good when we got one.

SPEAKER_03

So proper let's let's let's let's make sure we end it proper. Proper text time. Y'all say immediately.

SPEAKER_06

24.

SPEAKER_03

It depends.

SPEAKER_06

It depends on the situation. The meetup. Okay. You know, like we just said, but 24 hours. After 24 hours, I'm just I'm I'm fucking under.

SPEAKER_08

In 24 hours, you need to be contacting me, not me reaching out to you. And after 24, it's too late because that was your time to call me. That was your one time. I don't know on that one.

SPEAKER_03

100. 100.

SPEAKER_07

Correct.

SPEAKER_03

There you go.

SPEAKER_04

Tonight, final words. Blue, what you got? Man, we're gonna be rocking at Jay Will's birthday party. Yes, sir. Telling some jokes, passing out some offerings and stuff like that. Passing out some offerings. Yeah. Shit. Offerings of laughter.

SPEAKER_06

Oh, you better be you better be Pacific. We're gonna be on Pacific.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. You know what I'm saying? We're gonna be on Pacific.

SPEAKER_06

I am excited. I am ooh. I am ooh ooh. Ooh, ooh, ooh. I am so fucking excited for tonight. Because you know that's my spot. I love 134th. Y'all my folks and shit. And yeah, yeah. I get to see my family. My family, everybody's gonna be out. So it's gonna be one big uh, it's gonna be it's gonna be like a reunion.

SPEAKER_03

And we out here. We're gonna be out there doing our thing, man. Jokes or us. Jokes and jokes and jokes. Y'all better be out to 8 o'clock, man. The Mason Lodge down on Pacific, man. And 134th.

SPEAKER_04

Sis, what you got? Hold on one second. It don't matter who go first or who go last. Like the symphony. It's gonna be some funny ass stuff going on. Yeah, that's it. We hit a card. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_08

Happy birthday, Jay. Will I be in the audience tonight? Uh, you know, I don't have any jokes, but uh, I will be drinking.

SPEAKER_04

If she gives her phone number out to anybody, you got 24 hours. 24 hours.

SPEAKER_03

That's what it is. Coffee and condom. See you next Saturday, Two Fingers. We out always.

SPEAKER_04

Yo, that's definitely gonna be.

SPEAKER_06

All right, I gotta go get my picture.

SPEAKER_03

Coffee and condoms.

SPEAKER_00

I was rousing it. Um that glasses, the hours gone today. We read the tablet. I am just a human doing shit you can't fathom.

SPEAKER_03

With me, your host, Scooter, aka the Funky Grandpa. This is Coffee and Condoms, and you are tuning in to the newest podcast. Going down is Bananas. I am your host, the Funky Grandpa, aka Scooter. Every holiday. I went to G.I. Joe's, I got Army men. Army men, what the fuck can you do with this guy?

SPEAKER_02

You gotta fucking set this guy. This guy.

SPEAKER_03

This guy. What do you got? What is he looking at? I hated that shit. And my sister got black Barbie. Y'all know what Black Barbie is? Her name's Charmaine.