The Barkroom Chat

Ep 27 - The Customer is not always right (Recent personal experience / Rant Episode)

• Linda • Episode 27

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As business owners we hear it over and over again - The customer is always right.

Truth Bomb - The Customer is not always right. They are human just like us which means sometimes they are wrong and sometimes they are mean too.

In this episode, we’re talking about a recent interaction I had with a lady that left me feeling upset, unmotivated and honestly just defeated. However I thought I would share it with incase something similar has happened to you or will happen to you in the future. Hopefully this will help you to navigate it.

This episode is your reminder that no matter how hard you try you will always have atleast one customer that will be unhappy. Thats just the way it is im afraid... people are people. 


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SPEAKER_00

Hey there, welcome to the Bark Room Chat Podcast, the show for women who dream of building a thriving dog grooming business from home. Whether you're just starting out, already seeing clients, or somewhere in between, this is your go-to space for real talk, practical tips, a little bit of gossip, and a whole lot of encouragement. I'm Linda, the founder of Glossy Pop Academy, a former dog groomer, turned business mentor, and your biggest cheerleader. Let's turn your passion for pups into a profitable, feel-good, successful business that you've always dreamed of. Grab a cuppa, get coffee, and let's dive in. Hello and welcome back to the Barkroom Chat Podcast. My name is Linda, I'm your host, and today we have a little spontaneous podcast, it's very impromptu, one that I actually didn't plan at all, but it's been circling around my head, and I figured I just had to share it with you guys. So usually I like to stick to a weekly topic, and this podcast has nothing to do with the topic that we're talking about this week. Something has happened recently, and it has just been going through my mind, and I wanted to share it with you guys, and I wanted to hopefully give you some advice or help you or let you know that you're not alone if something similar should happen to you. So, as most of you will know by now, uh I have been selling my life on vintage because if you're part of the Facebook group, or even if you've been listening here on the podcast, you will know that we have been trying to buy a house for the last like two years. And good news, I think we're gonna get the keys soon, we finally closed on a house. But I have been selling my life on Vintage for the past six weeks or so, basically since after Christmas. I want to get rid of everything out of my life that doesn't serve me, I want it to go to good homes, I want it to be sustainable, and also I want that extra money to spend on my baby and different things that serve us in our life, basically. Now you might be thinking, what the hell has vintage got to do with dog grooming? And you'd be right, they don't have much of a connection. However, this week on vintage, I had a very nasty customer leave me horrible comments and basically just really upset me. And this is common amongst all businesses, including dog grooming, and I've done dog grooming for many years, and I have also had unhappy customers or just plain mean customers, to be honest with you. Sometimes they didn't have much of a reason, in my opinion, to be that unhappy. Um, but you know, people are people. But you the difference is that online keyboard warriors will say are often going to be a lot harsher than anyone who's looking you directly in the eye when they talk to you. So I learned that the hard way this week. Now I've been very fortunate, all my reviews have been five-star reviews, and I say fortunate, but also I try to make that happen. I put a lot of effort into everything I do, and I want my customers to have the best experience possible and to feel that joy and that excitement when they open their packages because that's how I feel. When I buy off vintage and I get a package in the door, I am excited to open it and I want them to feel the same way. So this lady had bought a few items from me. I got her next day delivery, um, which I try to do for every single one of my customers. I also make sure to really package every individual item because we've been having really bad weather in Ireland, and I don't want you know the item to be damaged or destroyed in any way by the time it gets to them. So I always take really good care with packaging. In fact, it's probably one of my top comments and the five-star reviews that they've never had an item packaged so well or they've never got such quick delivery, and I do that on purpose. This lady was no different, she got the exact same treatment. Now, as some of you may know, I have had a sick son. In fact, we've all been sick. In the last podcast episode, I mentioned how we were all sick, my baby was sick as well. Unfortunately, he did not get better, and he actually ended up in a hospital. And during this time, as you can imagine, I was not really thinking straight, and on top of that, everything kind of sl went by the wayside, including content for Glossy Pop Academy and this podcast episode, which is why the original podcast episode is late. So this lady had messaged me and said, Can you please leave me a bio review? And I looked at it and probably forgot about it. And I try not to do that, but it happens sometimes when life happens. I've had tech issues, I've had different things happen, and you know what? Sometimes life just happens. Anyway, roll on to a few days ago, and I get a one-star review, and it reads, Poor communication, does not leave biorreviews. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe that I had given this woman everything that I give every other person. I got her next day delivery, I had it perfectly packaged, and because I had forgotten to give her a review for buying an item, I was worthy of one star. Well, as a woman who was just sleep deprived and had what can only be described as a traumatic time over the past few days having to see my son in that condition. Thankfully, by the way, I will say he is on the mend and yeah, he's getting better. But it was yeah, traumatic. That's the only way I can describe it. And if you have a baby who is sick, my heart goes out to you. If your baby has been in hospital, my heart goes out to you. You will understand the pain, the stress, the worry, the tiredness. So I left a c I left a reply. Now, the reason I wanted to leave a reply was because people are looking at this, these are my reviews. So people are seeing this that I a one-star review, and my perfect record is gone. And I was very upset about this. I did put down the details, the facts of the service I provided, and I also put in your review was forgotten, I apologize, I had a sick baby, I wasn't thinking straight, I have been in hospital with my baby. Now, I didn't think by giving a valid reason that anything would really come of that. In fact, if someone had said that to me, I would be like, Oh my god, I'm so sorry. Like, I would have deleted the review, I would have probably messaged them and been like, Look, I jumped the gun, I'm sorry. That's just me. That's just how I would have handled it. And I guess sometimes I have to remember that people are different. And I expected that kind of response. I expected the woman to be like, I shouldn't have done that. And the abuse that I got back. I actually can't explain it. Not just in that one message. So in that one message, the response I got was mocking me, was saying that I was disgusting for using my baby as an excuse for not giving her a review. That hooray for supermom is what I got. She can pack up everything, she can list items, she can withdraw funds, but she can't l wait ten seconds to give a review. Well, the item was packaged and sent before my baby went into hospital. I didn't withdraw any funds, and I didn't have listings to the point where Vinton messaged me and said, Are you okay? They literally said you haven't listed anything in a while because I had a really good track record of listing a few items a day because I knew the algorithm would work better like that. Um, and they literally messaged me saying, Are you alive? Like, well, no, they didn't say that, but they said uh you haven't met you haven't listed anything in a few days. The issue for me so because of this, I decided in my infinite wisdom to leave her the review she was asking for. And I left her a one-star review, and I put out factually that this woman had gotten everything, but because I didn't leave her a review, she felt unnecessary to give me the one-star. Now, again, we can poke holes in everything. I should have left it at that. I should have not done that, probably. But you see, what I didn't realise was, and this is how I ended up engaging in this contact, was you see, with vintage, you can't do, let's say, a review or a message and then reply, reply, reply. You have to like change your edit your comment or your review in order to reply to what someone's saying. So when she edited her comment on my page, like my review, sorry, on my page, my answer now made absolutely no sense. So I sounded like a crazy person because she had completely changed her review. Once I had left the reply and she had left me all that abuse, but then when I put on the thing on the other side, she had changed her thing and I sounded like a crazy person. Of course, then I felt the need to change mind to explain. You see, the thing is I wasn't really necessarily talking to her, I was talking to everyone who was looking at the comments, I was talking to the potential customers who thought this of me, all the things that she was saying, that I had basically was using my baby, that I was um, you know, that I was capable of, you know, doing all this for vintage, but my baby was in hospital, so I couldn't leave a review. And look, it's all it's all madness to be honest with you. I mean, what world are we living in where someone tells you what they're going through and you tell them that that's an excuse, that they're making an excuse that they couldn't leave you a review. I never expected it, and the abuse kept on coming, and I I didn't know how to really navigate it, I'm not going to lie. Now, was I perfect all the time? No. Some of my responses were a little snappy, but I never once called her names, which she did with me. I never once mocked her, which she did with me. She also called me a liar. She said that um everything I was saying was lies and I was making it up for attention, basically. Um, I never personally attacked her, I never went in for her. I tried to keep everything business level to some degree, so I never went personal. She did. She attacked me as a person, as a woman I have never met. Um so I got to a point, like it was only a few messages. It's not like it was we were messaging all day long, it was a couple of messages. But I got to a point where I was like, this isn't worth this, and I need to get myself away from this person and not engage anymore because I shouldn't have been engaging in the first place. I got caught because I because, like I said, my responses or my my messages, my reviews no longer made sense when she had changed her comments. So I changed the review that I'd left. I said, you know what? This isn't worth the fight for me. I said, I'm going to delete this review. I don't have the mental capacity to deal with this right now, and I'm going to give you back your perfect score, a courtesy that you never thought to give to me when I when I said I was going through something or whatever. And I said, you know, people have stuff going on in their lives, uh, more important than vintage. And now what I meant by that, and I do understand that how it was taken wrong, or could be taken wrong, because it could be taken like people are more there's more important things in the world, like you know, why are you so petty? Which to be honest is true too. But what I meant by that is people have stuff going on in their lives, so give them some grace and don't like you know jump down their necks because they forget to give you a review when they've done everything in their power to give you a great buyer experience. Now, obviously, I didn't have the characters to put that down, and I guess in my head that's what I was saying. Basically, I was saying people have stuff going on, give them grace, but that's probably not how it came across, and I just said good luck with everything, and I actually meant that genuine. And to be honest with you, in my naivety, I thought it was going to be a case of alright, you know what, fair enough, let's not do this, you know. That's that's what I thought was gonna come happen. No, it did not, my friend. I got more abuse, and I only read the first line because I was like, I would had hit my capacity at this point. I had was sleep deprived, I had my baby who was sick, who I was trying to stay on top of with medications and all of that, and genuinely I didn't have the capacity. This is why I was bowing out at this point. Um, so I read the first line, didn't read any more, and deleted the review. And the first line just said stop playing the victim, and I just deleted it immediately. I was like, This no, okay, no, stop. Um and then I went back to my review, and because I deleted it and her comment, she literally went in for me. Um, so I decided to put basically a very uh business-like, political correct answer underneath, and I said, Let's be done with that, you know. So I said, to be clear, you got next day delivery, carefully packaged item, and uh thank you message. Oh, she said I was ungrateful that I never said thank you, all this. I said thank you message immediately once you had purchased the item, and I'm getting a one-star review because I forgot to leave you a buyer review because I was going through something and I told you that, and I just left it that because I wanted if other people had seen it to understand where I was coming from, and hopefully it wouldn't deter people to believe all the stuff she was saying. And oh my god, she went to another level, she literally shard this is your final warning before I notify Vintage of your harassment. I have screenshots of all your comments and I'm going to show them to anyone who wants to know why you've got a one-star review. Now I know for a fact that none of my comments are bad. They're all essentially politically correct and they're all business like as much as I could possibly do. I have never gone in for her. So I knew that anyone who was looking at these comments were going to think that I was now harassing this woman and that she had all these screenshots of me being this nasty, nasty person. And I knew that nobody would ask her for those screenshots. They would just assume that I was this nasty person. You're not gonna ask a stranger for your screenshots, maybe some people do, but most people won't. You're instead you're gonna assume that I'm a horrible person harassing another woman on vintage and not buy from me. Why would you want to have anything to do with a person like that? So I did what the only logical thing that I could think of, and I reported her to Vintage. I left a detailed report of everything from my side, and I said, Unfortunately, I do not have screenshots because I wasn't smart enough to think of taking them because this is this is my first rodeo and this is not hers obviously because she knew to take screenshots so she knew how this works, but I did not. And I said, Look, I am I wasn't quick enough to take screenshots, but she has them. Hopefully she will show them to you, but she probably won't show you hers because hers are all really nasty comments basically. I mean I didn't say that on the thing, but that's why she won't show you. And then I came back to my page and I left the following comment and it has ended it. I have already notified Vintage. The reason my comments are not visible is due to space, otherwise they would be up for everyone to see. Please send Vintage your screenshots, including all of your messages of horrible comments and bully behaviour. I try my best with every sale and all of this because of a forgotten by a review. You are now blocked. And I left it at that. Of course she had to reply again about how my inability to take responsibility or something, uh playing the victim, retaliation, attacking her and honestly if she showed those messages to Vintage she'd be doing me a favour. But we know that's not going to happen. I haven't heard anything back yet, and honestly, I just want to be done with it. I don't even want to have anything to do with this woman ever again. And the main reason why I reported her is to have something to fall back on and also to get her nasty comment removed if possible. But I think that's the end of that. Now, I just wanted to share this with you because you're going to find these people in all walks of life, and I know, like I said, they're probably not going to be as harsh in real life. I doubt she'd have the courage to say everything she had said, all those nasty, nasty comments, to my face. And I ended up in tears. I will tell you the truth. I rang my fiance and she was like the cherry on the top. She wasn't worth my tears, she wasn't worth even thinking about. But I have been through hell in a few days, and to have someone attack you when you're that mentally vulnerable, I think most people would have hit a breaking point. And yeah, it got to me. It got to me hearing those words or reading those words, I should say, like hooray for supermom when I was going through what I was going through. And not only that, but she said it because of that, because I was going through something, like she actively targeted that. And yeah, I just don't know what world we're living in that someone can tell you a valid reason for why they have forgotten something or left something slide, and it's n it's used as a weakness against you, as an excuse, like I wasn't strong enough to remember to do that while I had all this going on. And on top of that, she mentioned about her life and things she was going through, basically to one-up me, because she said how she had five kids, and I only have one, and how she cares for an elderly ill parent at the same time as having these children. And as she said this, she said, and I would never let that as an excuse, as if to say, Well, I have a lot more going on than you, even though she has no idea what's happened, and that she handles it better than me, and she's better than me for it. What world are we living in? I was genuinely shocked by these comments. I couldn't believe that these were being said to me when I would never think about saying that to somebody else. But yes, you can say there's wrong on both sides. Maybe she took a lot of things that I said harshly. Maybe I was being a little bit harsh and snappier because I was so upset and when I had tried so hard to give her such a good experience. And that's the thing. You're going to get these people, and you're going to give it your all, and you're going to get backlash anyway. So my advice to you is you're going to have to engage because these people are going to talk to you directly. If you get one-star reviews, people say don't engage, but I do believe it harms your business, so I do believe that you should, but you should keep it absolutely professional and stay to the facts. You see, that's the thing now with her when she's threatening all these screenshots and stuff. I know that I have basically nothing to worry about because I never personally attacked her, and I know that if she ever shows all the messages, including her own, it's not me that's going to come off worse because she went in for me, my character, my life, my private situations, everything. I never did that, and that's because you were always a business, you never put anything in writing, you don't want to be seen. So you always have to think as strategically as possible, even when you're very emotional, which I was, and I think for the amount of emotion I was going through, I think I handled it quite well. Um, but yeah, it it's obviously still living rent-free in my head because it only just happened yesterday, so I'm trying to move on from that. Now, one way I'm trying to move on from that is actually through the let them theory. Now I haven't finished this book yet, but I have been really enjoying it, and I do come back to it quite often, and this is one of those things that I am really trying to channel that. So I have kind of created this mini mantra, we'll say, from the let them theory ideas and all of that, and basically, I've taken different things that you've said and I put them together, and I do this whenever I'm really stressed about something that someone has done, I try to repeat this, and I have been repeating this every time this has come into my head or getting angry. I repeat this. So, this is what I say let them they are adults, let them have their thoughts, let them say what they gotta say, let them feel what they gotta feel. You cannot control anyone, and you don't want to be able to control anyone, and finally, let People think negatively of you. Let them have bad thoughts about you. Let them. And I repeat this over and over and over again because the thing is, once you say it once, you feel a bit better. And then and then it comes back again, like a few minutes later. So I just continually keep trying to repeat this so that hopefully it can help me to move on with my day. Because the truth is, no matter how long you're in business, some people are going to get to you. And that's because they're going to hit you right at that time where you have other things going on, where you're not fully yourself, where you're not fully to full strength mentally or maybe physically, and people are going to get to you. And they say it's a rite of passage that once that happens, you're kind of like you're in business, you know, because people are people, so you know, once you get one, you're in business because it's normal, it's the norm. But it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, and it doesn't mean it's okay, it's not okay. And I think the best thing you can do is just navigate it for yourself. Like I really got upset, but the truth is I probably wasn't that upset about her. I was upset about everything that had gone on and everything that I had to go through, and then to have a woman come at me and basically tell me that I was making excuses and using my son. So it might not be in dog grooming and it might not be the same situation that you're going to have, but you will meet these people, and you gotta know it's not about you. Like even now, I I am thinking about it, I'm like, it's not about me. Like her anger is coming from whatever's going on in her life, and it's directed at me. Because sure, I could have pissed her off by saying what I said, you know, by saying that basically, why did I deserve a one-star review? Because I tried my best to give you a great customer experience. And honestly, I probably definitely pissed her off because I gave her a one-star review, and I did put at the end, here's your review, which is cheeky, I'm not going to lie. And I did say some cheeky things or some snappy things, I'm not going to lie about that, but I never attacked her. I never went in on her personally, I never attacked her situation, I never attacked her character, I never made her out to be a liar, I never called her names, I never mocked her, I never did any of that. And that actually wasn't for her, it's because I don't really believe in that. And I I think once you start attacking someone you lose. That that's what I truly believe. I believe you've lost already because I don't know this woman. She doesn't know me. Why the hell would I attack her life? Why the hell would I call her a liar? But she seems to think it's okay to do to me. But I believe you've lost at that point, and if you want to be professional, you can't lose your head over a customer because that customer will leave, or you will fire them, or whatever. But your business will still be your business, you know, you will still be a CEO. If someone comes to me tomorrow and they're very unhappy with Glossy Pop Academy, which I truly hope that never happens. I truly, truly, in my heart want Glossy Pop Academy to help everyone. But if that happens, I will handle it the best way I know how. And then on top of that, I will know that Glossy Pop will still stand. Glossy Pop will stay standing because I will still be a business owner. Glossy Pop will still be here to help all of those people who want the help. So you gotta think of that too, because you're yeah, sure, you're gonna lose one customer and they're going to upset you. Some of them anyway. Because as business owners, or even just vintage, you know, I do try my best for that too. But as business owners, you try your best, you put your heart and soul into it. Like you really pour yourself, your personality, your creativity, your time, your energy, your blood, your sweat, your tears, your everything. And unfortunately with grooming, it genuinely is blood. We get caught a lot and accidents happen. But because of that, when someone talks badly about you or your business, it feels personal. It feels personal when someone says, Your business is wrong, you did something wrong, your talent wasn't good enough. Because you genuinely pour every ounce of yourself into it. So the reason that I got attack uh felt so attacked with this lady was one because I genuinely did try my best to give her a great experience. It actually makes me feel happy. It's one of the things that I really try to make important. The customer has a good customer experience, but it's because she attacked something that was personal that was going on in my life at that time, and I was still going through it. I'm still going through it now, but he's on the mend now. But I was really going through it, and to have someone attack that, it's the same as having someone attack your business, your your personality, your life. It feels so personal, and you're going to have that, and it's gonna be crap. And that's why I wanted to build Glossy Pop Academy as well, so that we would have this network, this community of dog groomers, of business owners, of women who would just support each other, stand by each other, and tell each other, no, you're not wrong. You tried your best. You either made a mistake or you didn't make a mistake and the customer is wrong, because sometimes the customer is wrong, and you have to understand that like sometimes it's not about you. I don't know why this woman felt the need to attack my life and to make me out to be this horrible person to actually call me a liar when she's never met me. I don't know, but it says a lot more about her than it does about me. I don't know why this woman messaged me the next day when she got her delivery with amazing. That's what I got a message from. Amazing. And then she left me a one star review. I don't know. And that's the thing, you're never going to understand somebody, you're never going to understand their experiences, what they've been through, or how they've come to their conclusions. But you have to know that it's not about you. You you tried your best, and as long as you know you tried your best, there's nothing more you can do. So I guess in conclusion, my top tips for dealing with truly painful people is one, see if the let them theory works for you. Honestly, you know, I would recommend checking it out. Once I've read it, I'm going to leave my full thoughts on Facebook in the Facebook page. So check that out if you haven't already. Number two, share it with someone. So don't keep that to yourself and internalize it, and because you might start to believe it, and you don't want to. You don't want to believe that, you don't want to internalize it, you don't want to make that a part of your how you feel about your business because you're going to make different decisions, you're going to not show up, you're going to be more nervous, more worried, more upset, because you're going to be worried that the next person who comes in the door is going to do the exact same thing. So share it. Let people know. Share it with the people in your life. Do like me, ring your fiance or husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, partner, mother, sister, whoever, and and let it out. Cry, you know, or just rant, rant and rave. Go out and chat over coffee with one of your friends or groomer friend, or come on to the Glossy Pop Academy Facebook page and tell us what is happening. You know, we have to build this community, we have to share it, and we have to take care of each other. Three, keep it professional, even if you are getting your point across and you are completely in the right, keep professional, even if they're attacking you. Never get personal because as soon as you do, you lose. As soon as you are attacking them, calling them names, mocking them, or you know, attacking their life, their character, you lose. You are representing your business, and that is not how your business deserves to be represented. Your business is professional, it's full of love, care, kindness, compassion. So if someone's attacking you, stay as professional as you possibly can. That doesn't mean you don't counteract what they say. You just do it in a way that lets them know that you're all business. And finally, fire people. I don't mean your employees unless they deserve it, but and you know there's loads of laws, regulations, and everything in that. I don't mean your employees, I'm not talking about them. They're probably amazing. Um no, I'm talking about your clients. Fire them, okay? If you have a client who treats you badly, consistently, if you have a client who personally attacks you, who makes you feel bad about your business, or who ruins your day just because you know they're coming in, fire them. I know that sounds harsh, but you need to disengage from these people. These people for some reason take liberties and they feel like it's okay to behave this way, and you won't understand why. But you need to protect yourself. One of the things in the let them theory is let them, let me. And the let me part, from what I understand, because I've listened to half the book, is let you do what's best for you, let them do what they need to do, and you do what's best for you. So I'm gonna leave it there at that. I really hope this episode has helped someone, and I really hope that if you're listening to this episode and no one has been mean to you, first of all, amazing. I hope it stays that way. But if in the future it does happen that somebody comes at you for whatever reason, I really want you to think about this episode. Remember that you can be in business for years, you can be doing any type of business, you can even be just selling things on vintage, and someone can come at you, come at you and attack you, and it's about them, not you. And I hope that makes you feel like you're not alone, and I hope that makes you feel like you will have someone to turn to because Glassy Pop Academy is here for that reason to support big boss women CEOs running their dream businesses. Yes, I hope you enjoyed listening to my drama, and I honestly hope it's never going to happen again. I will keep you updated in a future podcast. If something happens, I will update you. But truly, I hope that we have just disconnected now at this point. The only thing I hope is that Vintage will remove her comment from my reviews, so it doesn't look like I am this truly nasty person for some reason. This woman has decided to target. Um, I'm not saying I'm innocent and all, and I will never say that. I didn't say even say that in the report that I sent. I said I know I'm not perfect, because when they see the messages, if she sends a screenshots, they'll see I'm not perfect. But look, that's life, and it's gonna happen now, and I'm going to repeat my let them theory mantra, and I am going to try and avoid it at all costs. I mean it thinking about it, the situation, talking about it, anything like that. Honestly, I'm more mad that she's ruined my happy place because I used to love Vintage. I thought it was like this happy little bubble where everybody was just nice, everybody did their best, and it's not truly the case. Um, but I'm not getting off it. I still love it. I'm just going to hopefully work it around for my own sake. The only thing I'm a bit worried about is I think she might have my address. So if anyone's got any advice on that, maybe leave me a comment or you know, on Facebook or something, because I'm pretty sure she has my address because I sent her stuff out, so I am a bit worried about that. Um but other than that, look, we'll forget about it for now. And I really hope this episode has resonated with you or brings you some comfort or helps you in the future. And yeah, until next time, remember we're all human, we're all doing our best, and we're all just trying to build our dream businesses and our dream lives. So, yeah, that's what I have for you this week. And remember, together we can change the world one dog at a time. Bye, friends.