TRANSFORMATION CAUSES RESTORATION

LESHAWN CLOSES OUT THE SEASON DISCUSSING ROMANS 8:28, JEREMIAH 30:17 & ACTS 3:21!

Transcript

SPEAKER_05 0:06

But he can't take from me, take from me, I'm too cut. You can't let me Don't play with Don't Blade, don't play with me, give me a lie. Don't blow me, don't let me, God bless me, devil, stay with me, don't play with me, don't bless me, don't blow, don't go Hallelujah.

SPEAKER_00 0:31

I am free. The chains are broken. Victory is mine. Hey y'all, hey, happy Wednesday, baby. I know we changed it up, didn't we? Yes, I'm not available tomorrow, but we ending the season, y'all. This is season two, and you know God is about to show up and show out. Because when we come back to season three and May, ooh, Lord. But let me not spoil nothing. Let me get started. But y'all know what we're about to do. We're gonna pray. And remember, those that's in the car driving, don't close y'all's eyes. We need you here in May, okay? All right, y'all. Let's close our eyes. Dear Heavenly Most Gracious Father, on this day, Lord, on this Wednesday, the last season of the Wounded Warrior Podcast season two, Lord. I thank you for what you've done this season for so many, including myself. Lord, I do this ministry work. It's all for you, Lord. All for kingdom building. I take no credit. All the glory, all the honor belongs to you. So, Lord, as we end this show tonight, I ask that you show up in a massive way as you always do. But this night, Lord, let's have them sitting on the edge of their seat, waiting, pounding on season three to return in May. Lord, I thank you for your word. I thank you for entrusting me to deliver your word to the people and to deliver it where they understand for those who are willing to receive your word. Because as I know, we all done be ready at the same time. And sometimes we don't do it even at the right time that you would want us to do it, but you patiently wait on us and you welcome us right on back in with open arms. But you told me my job is to plant the seed, and you do the rest. So lead me on tonight to give this word and deliver it because I know what it's like for transformation. So let me bless my sisters and brothers, every king and queen on this Zoom, this live tonight. Let it minister to them and not let them just be hearers, but also doers of the word. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen and amen. All right, let's get started, y'all. So y'all know we're gonna read the word first, and y'all know I got my notes to keep me on task because I get excited. We're coming from Romans 12 and 2. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is, his good, pleasing, and perfect will. Romans 12 and 22 is a key verse in the apostle Paul's letter to the Romans, emphasizing spiritual transformation. Spiritual, we must transform on the spiritual level, not of the world level. There's a difference, and we're gonna get into that. The verse encouraged believers not to confirm, conform to the world values or their behavior, which often reflects selfishness, immaturity, a moral compromise, but instead to allow God to renew their minds through his word, prayer, and the work of the Holy Spirit. So the phrase renewing of your mind implies ongoing processes of spiritual growth where thoughts, attitudes, and perspectives are aligned with God's truth rather than the culture norms that we see down here. This transformation enables believers to discern God's will, which is described as good, pleasing, and perfect, guiding them, guiding them in decisions, actions, and moral choices. I'm not gonna let the enemy mess with my words tonight.

SPEAKER_04 5:23

My tongue gets twisted, but it's all right.

SPEAKER_01 5:50

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SPEAKER_02 6:29

To every courageous woman listening, I greet you at the dawn of your own story. Today, I am honored to share a journey that has quietly shaped my spirit. A journey many of us know all too well. This is a project born from pain, purpose, and the unbreakable will of women who rise. The story of a warrior who broke free from mental anguish is a tribute to every woman who has fought silent battles. It is a lifeline, a love letter to every wounded heart. To every woman who has ever felt alone, this story is for you. It's a message of hope that you are seen, valued, and never truly alone. In the quiet moments and the storms, we find our strength together. Sisterhood guides us through the darkness. In each other, we discover the courage to heal and the power to rise. Let us step forward together, out of the shadows, into the light, lifting each other up and finding healing in unity. The story of a warrior is a guide for every woman who has ever faced darkness and longed for light. It's for the woman who has survived storms and still dares to hope. Within these pages, you'll find the courage to sit with your pain and to celebrate every small victory, to love yourself through loss and to discover your truth again and again. This journey asks us to be brave and to trust in our own becoming. In these sacred moments, transformation blooms like a flower breaking through stone. You are not alone. This story is for you. To every woman who has felt invisible, lost in the shadows of her own story. To every sister who has doubted her worth or questioned if she truly belongs, your pain is seen, your journey honored. May this story be a gentle place for your spirit to rest. You are not alone. Healing is possible, and together we rise. I invite you, my sisters, to walk this journey with me as part of a living community of women. Together we can build a space where every woman's voice is valued. May these words inspire your own journey toward wholeness. With love, LaShawn Fernandez. Purchase a copy of my personal memoir, The Story of a Warrior Who Broke Free from Mental.

SPEAKER_00 8:42

All right, y'all. I'm back. I rebuke that enemy. Because we're gonna have some service tonight. God will prevail. Let's go. We're gonna continue. Now, what Jeremiah 3017 promises healing and restoration from God, emphasizing his compassion for those who feel marginalized or abandoned. How many of y'all like me? I always felt abandoned. But you got to remember we're looking at the outer world, not the inner, because God is always there with us within. We just choose to distance ourselves from Him or we just go astray. You know, I'm just being very transparent. But he said, But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds, declares the Lord, because you are called an outcast, Zion, for whom no one cares. How many people feel like no one cared about them? No one was concerned, not even the doctors. I was just talking to my producer a few minutes ago, was talking briefly about how the doctors always labeling us with every kind of name it help. Wait, this and that. Every nationality bone structure is totally different. And one thing about God, He gonna allow us if you in tune with your body, you go know if you sick or you're not sick. Just like for me today, I had a class I had already paid for, but I had a uh a class I did yesterday where I taught on Medicare, so I didn't get in because that was almost a two-hour drive back to my house. I got in late, went to bed late, and I was got to be up by six to and out the door to be where I need to be at eight. And I said, I'm gonna go late, but I decided I wasn't gonna go at all because I needed to just take a half a day and work and take a breather, take a break mentally, because we can do so much, and and I know my body, I tell people all the time, I know I have fibromyalgia, but it don't have me. If y'all see my videos, you wouldn't know I deal with fibromyalgia because you're not gonna see me have a pity party and look for someone. Oh baby, you okay? No, I pushed through that because God already said I'm here, so I gotta believe that because it's not in my time and where I'm gonna see the physical difference, it's in God's time, and I can tell you I notice a big difference because my fibromyalgia years ago used to have me where I couldn't get out the bed. And if you got you deal with fibromyalgia, you you you know where I'm talking going and where I'm coming from. That's no different from I used to couldn't walk. People don't believe me. All I got to show for is a handicapped uh plate because they got to tell me I never walk again. I sustain a damage of ADO. The devil is a liar. Look at God, and I don't know who two feet and legs he gave me because I used to be a wall flower. I had two left feet, and now I can move. I'm like, hey, so it just goes to show you God can transform you completely that old total body, everything will be like brand new restoration. Now, let me go to Acts before I get into the lesson. Acts 3 and 21. In the new international version, heaven must receive him until the time comes for God to restore everything as he promised long ago through his holy prophets, and that's why I close off tonight when I leave y'all with this word. But it says this verse signifies that Jesus is currently enthroned in heaven and will remain there until the appointed time for God to restore all things as previously promised by the prophet, until God's appointed time, right? To restore all things as previously promised by the prophets. This restoration encompass the ultimate fulfillment of God's redemptive plan, including the return of Christ and the renewal of creation. The verse serves as a reminder of hope and assurance that God has a plan for restoration and renewal in the world. I don't care what's going on around us, everything goes to God, it has to go through God. The enemy can't control, nobody can. I don't care how much power they think they got, nobody control on this earth but our Lord and Savior Himself. Now, will God allow situations? Yes, and I don't won't get too much talking because this got to come at the end because I gotta leave y'all with this part and come back with what I want to say, but we're gonna get into the transformation. So, transformation is cause of it is the cause of restoration. So the Bible teaches that transformation is the cause of restoration as believers are transformed by the renewing of their minds. Remember, I talk about that all the time. That's what got me from not walking and told I'll never walk again because I spoke over myself. I believe I changed the mindset, I changed my thinking, thinking, and I say, I will get it or it will get me. And I was talking to that disability, I refuse to be in the bed in my 30s, two babies at the time, and a teenager. I refuse to hear what that doctor said. I said, I don't know how many people you killed, because the word has power. Death is in the power of your tongue, whether you speak life over yourself or you speak death. That's why I tell people, stop saying you yet holding on. You are speaking. Oh I'm just here. No, you got to live. God got you on this side of the earth, which is this side of the rim, because there's the spiritual rim, there's the earth, which you hear people call the matrix. That's where we at now. You on this side, your purpose has not been fulfilled. You must continue to do what God called you to do. And if you don't know what God called you to do, you pray, you ask, you see, you knock, and he will deliver, he will give it to you. We all have a purpose, beloved. None of us was called to sit on our attache and look cute. Yes, we all cute in God's eyes. He made us all in his liking and image, but he didn't give us the right because he made us cute to sit down and look cute. No, get up and work. We gotta learn, we gotta do some work and give God thanks because he said he's the provider, he's Jehovah Java. Stop looking for somebody to hand feed you. Gotta get up. First, we gotta heal. Yes, ma'am. Yes, ma'am, Lashonda. Yes, ma'am. You gotta get up. We gotta do this, but first we gotta heal most of us because I ain't gonna say everybody because some people, like I said this morning in my words, some people won't keep what they want in the closet. That's fine. I'm gonna still tell the truth. Most of us went through something in our life that broke us, that got us where we bound. We don't know our true identity, we don't know who we are. We have to become a new creature in Jesus Christ. How do you get there, LaShawn? Your mind gotta be Christ-like when Jesus came on this earth, and well, most people won't say it, but shame the devil. I'm gonna give you what God gave me. He don't he didn't just come on this earth, and I'm passionate about what I'm about to say. That's why you see me like I am. He didn't just come on this earth to die for our sins, he also walked this earth in human form to show us by example how were we to live. He he showed it through love, he showed it through compassion, he showed it through action, he showed it through unconditional love. He was patient, he never judged nobody. He first off, did you see Jesus just sitting in the church? Now I'm gonna leave that alone. We gotta get behind the walls and serve the people. I can tell you one thing, this younger generation ain't gonna be the ones you're gonna find behind the four walls. So how will they get served, LaShawn? It's our job, it's our duty. If you say you have God, He should be here. Why you need the church? Step outside them four walls and speak and allow God to use you. Share your story. Every last one of I don't care who you are, we all got a story. We all got a story, and when you share your story, you don't realize who life you saved. There are a few people told me I was contemplating suicide. My God. And me just sharing my story, me just praying for someone. That's what we supposed to do, that's what we call to do, and not judge a person. It irritates my soul to see people warn about why she thinks she ought to she on drugs. And did you pray for her? You don't know what she's been through. We gotta learn to be compassionate. Jesus did not judge nobody, He spoke in love, He had unconditional love for, and that's all He wants for us to do, beloved. He wants us to love one another. That's what's wrong with the world, it needs unity. But let me go and tell you the truth. What's really wrong with the world, Satan mad. Satan is really, really mad right now, because he knows time is winding down. So with time winding down, and and everything the Bible says, even for the people don't believe the word of God, it's coming to pass, ain't let me tell y'all a little secret because I saw our attractive was knots. The truth be told, God gave me word on that. Knox are just people just like us. Most of us continue to, even though we was hurt, to love and be there for others before being there for ourselves. They choose to operate in their darkness. See, we must understand we all have darkness and light in us. Why do a nart need a person that's operating in light? Because they got to be fuel. Can you see in the dark? No, they need light. We gotta understand. That's why God said, test the spirit by the spirit. See, everything I'm telling and teaching, it's all from God. I tell you all the time don't take what I say, take it back to God. Because I tell people this is why I thank God that He comes. Me because I can allow God to use me the way He needs to use me because it's not a university book, theology book, anything, it's the Bible where God leads me in the word, and then first off, I pray. Most of the time, God give me my word through dreams. I mean, I get up in the wee hours in the morning, three o'clock. He give me the word, I gotta write it down. And I had that time with him. Now, was I always like this? Absolutely not. I had to sit my tail down and heal and be obedient. I'm no different than nobody else. But I was operating in darkness because I didn't know you gotta balance the two. We have to balance the two. Yes, we must love one another. All this division, this ain't God. God don't do division, He does unity. He does unity, baby. See, once you sit down and you heal, you become a new creature in Christ Jesus. But you have to really sit down and heal. See, that's plenty of times I tried to start new and I need to heal. I was trying to do a Sean Way because I thought that's all there was. Until I really got to sit down and know God for myself. But God said, I will restore you to your health and heal your wounds, declares the Lord, because you are an outcast, Zion, for whom no one's caring. See, this verse is a promise of restoration and healing from God to his people, specifically addressing Zion during a time of suffering and exile. It emphasized that even when the nation feels abandoned or rejected, you heard the key? Even when the nation feels abandoned or rejected. How do we feel right now? God speaking, God cares, and interventions are assured. The phrase, restore you to health and heal your wounds, can be understood both physically and spiritually, symbolizing God's power to mend brokenness, whether it's in your body, mind, or your community. This nation is our community. God will restore. How do you restore? The country has to heal. How do the country have to heal? Gotta be torn down. This man restoration. God he speaks to me to bring it so I can bring the truth because I'm not scared to tell a truth. My pastor years ago, my first pastor, because you know, the church I'm have a membership at now, before God pulled me about a year ago out. That pastor used to say, I love him today. He used to say, just say ouch and keep going. When you know God is speaking to you, just say out and keep moving. Because we got to do the will of God, amen. Sandra, we got to. If you don't like criticism and chastising, you're not gonna make it, baby. You're not gonna make it. That's how we learn, that's how we get better, that's how we grow. We don't want to be society, got enough fake people. God don't need the fake. He don't call the fake, he's not gonna call. They call themselves. I'm keeping them 100. Don't believe everybody that says they call by God is called by God. That's not true, and shame the devil, it's not so the first thing we gotta do, sit down with self, get to know self. How can we love God when we don't love ourselves? Remember, all three. We flesh, we soul, and we spirit. God speaks to us. Remember, he said, I'll leave y'all, I'm not leaving y'all alone, I leave the Holy Spirit. He's within us. We're not taught that. We're taught God is outside of us, God not outside of us, baby. God gonna be a true gentleman. Now, if you don't want him, he's not gonna impose himself on you, he waited until you allow him to come in. So let me correct myself on that. But you got some people want you to believe God is outside of you, God is within us, he dwells in us and exudes through us. That's when you know who you are in Christ Jesus. That's when you walk in in your true authentic self. You're in your calling, you're in your purpose, you're doing the will of God, you're no longer doing it your way. That's why He tells us deny self. We got to release self because if we're in operating itself, you know that flesh causes that's what causes sin. We selfish, we greedy, and all this other stuff that you see going on. People get beside themselves because they're operating itself, we can't operate in self. Now, it's getting ready to get real good now. Even to the last straw, it was symbolic when Jesus went to Calvary and was wrecked resurrected. Remember, he rose from the dead. Let me take you here. Most people don't think about that. I know they did because I didn't, and he rose up when we are born again, we die of our old self. You shed that skin, and all things become new. So, the spiritual meaning of resurrection, it encompasses several key concepts: transformation and renewal. Spiritual resurrection signifies the transformation of an individual spirit, often linked to the believer's new life in Christ, emphasizing the transition from spiritual death to spiritual life through faith, hope and rebirth. It symbolizes hope, rebirth, and a triumphant of the life over death, representing the potential for spiritual evolution and the restoration of the soul, eternal life in Christian theology, resurrection is a central theme, indicating that believers will be raised from the dead with spiritual bodies, signifying a transition into eternal life with God. See, when we transition from this earth, our flesh, the body, go back to ashes, go back to dust. And guess what? Transitions and ascends, the soul, yes, beloved, the soul ascends, and I know for me, I want to forever be with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Am I perfect? Absolutely not. Nobody on this earth perfect, but so many people want to proclaim to be perfect, and see, God knows we wasn't gonna be perfect. This is why Jesus went to Calvary and died for our sins. And whatever you do, don't allow people to make you feel ashamed for your yesterday. Your yesterday, baby, was your yesterday. God forgave you and washed them sin whiter than snow. So you let them be great and believe what they want to believe and say what they want to say. Because the one thing about people, people will tell you that because they don't want you to rise with Christ, they don't want you to get everything God has for you down here. You don't want to get to heaven and you get up there, you looking, and you trying to figure out why you didn't get gifts down here. Because what the prayer say, as it is in heaven, it shall be bounded on earth. Ain't nothing in heaven not beautiful, ain't nothing in heaven not peaceful. I know somebody said, Well, Sean, what are you talking about with all this craziness going on down here? Yeah, let them be great, they gotta do what they're doing. Because see, God made a promise to Abraham, baby, and 2019, the chains were broken, and everything that was promised to Abraham descended, his lineage, go be given back every day, everything that was taken. I promise you, God will not return. Jesus will not return until that prop that word, that prophet is fulfilled. The way this nation was built, it has to be the mat this manner. God is not the author of confusion, God is not the author of all this, you know, corruption, disruption, but it's to take place because it's gonna be restored, better than brand new, just like me. I'm better than the original creation God made me to be. When he restored me, he made me better than I was when I incarnated to this earth. Now I went through hell and bath. That's another thing. People don't believe. See, you looking for hell, they're telling you this dream. Hell, because if you read the word, it say the lake of fire. Where's where it literally says hell in there? See, hell is right here, and our choices can make us because we either can choose to walk in darkness or walk in light. We gotta learn, we gotta balance them. You you you you you can't straddle the fence, gotta have balance, it's gotta come together. That's what we gotta learn and understand. Sometimes it's good to go to God when you want to verify. I tell y'all all the time, don't just take my word, take it back to God. Because you need to have a relationship with God, and you need to talk to God so you can get the truth. Because as I start healing and building this relationship, this intimate relationship with God, God opened my mind and it's just like a vault. He's throwing so much wisdom, and I know sometimes y'all be like, What this woman gets all this stuff? This God is all God. I don't take no credit, I can't take no credit. I'm smart, but Lord Jesus, I ain't ancient wisdom smart. That's God, and a lot of it he showed us when he walked this earth, and even now he showed us through the birds. I remember before moving where I'm at, the birds outside in front of my house came and gathered formation, and then they it's like one made this whistle, and they always in unity, and they took off. I'm like, look at this. We can learn something from the animals, even the ants. Look at how they prepare why it's warm season, and you don't see them that time in the cold season storing up their meat in the storehouse because they took shelter from horn. See, we the only creature that got common sense, but even the animals and the insects know what to do by following the lead of God, yes, queen. God is amazing, y'all. When you really get to know him, God is beyond good. You don't have to worry about nothing, you'll be protected. I hear so many people speaking in this time, amen. They're saying, I'm so scared, I'm nervous. We can't say we got God and we we we nervous because at the end of the day, what it say, faith is believing without seeing. You know, God got our back. God ain't gonna let no harm come to his children. I don't care how big, tough, and bullied someone is, they no bigger bully than God. Look at Satan when he calls Adam and Eve to eat from the forbidden fruit. Don't say apple, the forbidden fruit, ain't he cursed him? And what he got to do, be on his back, call him. Well, you know, not on his back, but on his stomach, and all his demons is followers, they're losing it right now. That's right, Queen. He got us. There's no feud because people are healing, they're waking up, and I thank God that we as God children are waking up and understand that just because a person tells you they got God, they love God, people can say anything with their mouth, but their actions show us different, so that's why we look at actions, and we got to stop going for what we hear because they will tickle your ear with these envy spirits, jealous spirits, gossiping spirits, lying spirits, all kinds of spirits, but the right spirit, which is the loving spirit, because that's all this world needs, kind of spirits. That's right. If we have more love, that's why on my page you're gonna always see inspiration and something positive. We got enough foolishness going around. We don't need another circus, we need love and something to bring the morale up, get people laughing. I love all around the world, different people. You'll see me sharing their posts outside of what I'm doing because that's what we need. And look how people just smiling and just happy. That shows you that's what the world really needs, and that's what God wants for us. He showed us by example. We just got to tune in with the spiritual eye and not with these two eyes that we see earthly, and the only way you can do that is having a relationship with God and reading the word of God. I get up every morning, God is my witness, and I have a whole praise good time with God by myself. You might think I'm crazy in my house, but I don't care. The joy and peace I have now is a past all understanding. I wouldn't trade it for the world, even despite everything that's going on. We just gotta learn to let go and let God. We gotta learn we must trust God in all that we do. We gotta learn to listen to God, amen. Amen, queen amen. Because at the end of the day, God don't get the biggest bullies down. You ain't gotta worry about it. See, I all my life I knew what it was like to be bully, and then I also knew what it was like for others to be bullied because I was one of those people. I tell y'all, I I was I was a handful because I used to take up for people that was bullied because after they knew not to mess with me, and y'all already you it don't take a rocket sign to figure out pretty much how I was. I took up for others because I never could stand a bully, never. You the biggest cow, whatever, and that's what the world we're seeing more now. They're just bullies, cowards, and all they need really is a really good hub, but they don't want it because everybody don't want to love, they don't want the affection, true genuine affection. They'll say it, but are they living it? So remember, as we're going through down here, we're gonna be tried, we're gonna be tested, we're gonna go through, but as you heal, and it don't happen overnight. I think uh I finally sat down in 2022 for real and sat down, and by 2023 is when I started noticing the change in me, and completely noticing it by 2024. You your body just transformed, and you can just feel a difference, and you no longer even from the places I used to go, people I used to hang out with with my taste and dating of men changed because I mean all I attracted was men with that was narcs, or they had the tendencies, and we all can have a little tendency if you dated them because you start rubbing. They always say birds of a feather flock together, so that means whoever you associate with, you become, and that's the truth. Now, I'm telling you what I know because I used to always say, Oh, I know these. I used to say, My mom and them, something wrong with them. Birds of a feather flock together. My dad used to say, You ain't got a pot to pee in and a window to throw. I'm like, what in the world is wrong with these folk? You fool with trash, trash getting out. I didn't understand none of that concept, but I understand it now. The the your mind will suck in what you take in. That's why I don't do the news. I'm selective on what I even watch on social media. I do enough to just keep me in the loop. I don't wanna be dumbfounded to not knowing nothing, but to just get so sucked in it, that's what they want. And I refuse to give that energy to them. I refuse because I know my God got me, I know my God got us. And that's so true. That's another one. Lay with dogs and you'll get fleas. That's another one. But I thank God for what he's doing. Yes, it's horrible right now down here. But when they get through tearing it up and God restore it, y'all gonna say, that lady was right. She wasn't crazy after all. Because I tell people stuff all the time when God gives me a word. And when it comes to pass, I have one of my agents on my team. She said all the time, she said, Lasha, you just said that. Or you said that last year, you said this not too long ago. And look, that's God. I don't take no credit for that. I ain't no psychic. No, God called some as prophet he give things to mourn. Even when God told me my baby miracle, He said, The child shall be called miracle. I knew she was gonna live. Doctors told me she wasn't gonna make it. They even called me up there one early one morning. I went because I was my baby because I just left about 11 o'clock that night. Think they called me about 1:30. My place is took me up there. I knew she wasn't leaving this earth. God ain't tell me the child should be called miracle and give me that, and then told me she's gonna go through, but she's gonna get through it, and she did. They said, Oh, she's gonna be severely MR. Went to school, honor student. Then we came to Fed County, gifted. See, when you trust God, doctors are practicing, but God is almighty and all power, He knows our life better than we do. He created us, so He's the architect. Let Him show you the structure and the foundation because you want your foundation on solid ground, not on sinking sand. So as we close tonight, I want you to think about this and notice I came down because I'll be on fire for God, y'all. I'm sorry, on fire because if y'all know the hell I've been through, you'll understand my praise. And my last praise to God was in 2021. I told God, if you get me out of this marriage, I promise I won't be disobedient again. That's a vow I made for life because the hell I went through, nobody can't tell me. Satan ain't real. Nobody in hell can tell me that one, and he walked among us, but my disobedience allowed God to step back off of me to show me in true sight. If you would have just listened to me, daughter, you wouldn't have gone through none of this. He made it so easy for me, but no, me being over a good way, and it backfired on me. But my God, he still came to save the day, and everything was finalized in 2022, and it took me a while, but my peace that I was receiving, I was like, my god, but see, by me being abandoned all my life, I just thought always thought you got to have a man. No, you ain't gotta have nothing. You got God, you got everything you need. Yes, God didn't put me here to be single, and no, I'm not single now. But what I'm saying was even it took me to heal to appreciate the king God sent me now, because I wouldn't have appreciated him if I didn't sit down and heal because all my life I was used to dysfunction and toxicity, so that's I thought that was real. I thought that was reality, that's not reality, and I want everybody to understand that tonight on this call. God having me be vulnerable and sharing my life story with y'all for a reason. I always said I never wanted to, I didn't even want to write a story, a book, and I got several out there now, and I didn't co-author several, and getting ready to do some more because I was called for, but I fought God, I've resisted, I didn't want to do it. I wanted to take everything that happened to me to the grave with me because I was ashamed, and God, like, why are you ashamed? You went through it to get through it, and I'm I have you here today when I know many times I should be dead in God. I literally had somebody when I was a teenager put the gun up to my head and put the trigger, and it didn't it jammed, it didn't go off. A male did that to me, and I'm telling you, a male is stronger than a woman, but the power for me to get that gun and beat him with it was from God. Nobody could tell me otherwise because he I was small then. I was little. If y'all see my girls, you know, but that meant he was a big barky person, but that was God that gave me strength, so nobody can tell me when it's not your time to go, and you got a purpose on this earth, God ain't gonna let you go. You can't go till you complete your assignment, and that's the least we can do, beloved. Because every last one of I don't care if you working a job or you working a business, you know you got that job because of God, right? Because most of us, if you're working a job, you don't want to get up every day and go to that job and hit that's it. And then if you got a business, you working round the clock, like myself and my producer, Jacqueline Cock on this, that's actually behind the scene doing everything for me. Because I can't, I'm good. God called me to talk, but that's this is not my lane. That's why I say everybody got assignments. You got to find what you're good at, and the only way you can do that is through God. Because I can promise you, and I'm gonna leave you with this when you love what you do, it's no longer work, it's ministry. You get up before the alarm clock, you live it, you breed it, you eat in it. It's a beautiful thing. But as we close out and I pray, I want you to take time because I know we're gonna be gone from each other a month because I got me busy April, vacation and business conferences. But I want you to understand that don't let depression sink in because of what's going on in the world. I know the gas high, baby. I know the eggs are high, the fruits, the vegetables, the meat. But Jehovah, God got us, and I know everything taking place that we would never imagine. But God got us. Why they're thinking it's for their good, God is working it out in our favor. Romans 8 and 28. I'm like Les Brown when he was in that studio and that guy was drinking. He said, Drink them drink, because God is working out. Go ahead, head down because when it's rebuilt and God restore it and give it to Him, back to His children. All things, not some, work together for the good of those who love God and call by Him for His purpose. See, we gotta know the word and care in the heart. I don't have to have a scripture for that because my whole life is in Romans 8 and 28, baby. I didn't been through hell, I didn't been through the furny fire, and I don't smell no way like the smoke I went through. And I tell people, you want my life, you want to mimic me, you want to copy me, baby. Can you go through what I went through? See, I was five, and I'ma close out five a baby break by six males, one grown tail man, and five teenage boys. That was the most shameful part of my life. That's why I couldn't heal, I couldn't forgive them, and until I forgave them, I was able to heal because it wasn't for them, it was for me. See, I'm talking about it today, but nobody knew until 2023, maybe I had to talk to my kids first, but it was my minister at church, minister Aaron. She talked about a situation. I'm like, oh God, I know you didn't have her bring this up because I I had suppressed it, but God had her to speak on it and share her testimony because I needed to deal with that, but I had to sit down because I wanted my children to hear from me first before they heard it out in the world, or they read it in the book. Was that easy? Absolutely not, because my kids never seen my darkness or knew about my darkness. They didn't, they didn't know the only three three three males they knew about my two that that my ex first ex-husband, my second ex-husband, and then another guy was late. My life, I didn't bring that around, unless I knew I was serious. Because at the end of the day, as a mother, you go protect your kids. At least that's what a real mother go do, just like God protect us, and I protect them by all means necessary. They had, and don't ask me how I did it. I almost said I was God. They had a living nanny, she couldn't do nothing but make sure they were good. Nobody knew that, nobody understood what was going on, but I knew because all I knew if somebody would have done that to my kids, what happened to me? Oh, we would have had some problems because I'm like a mama bear, I don't play about my kids, so I knew God blessed me with them to protect them and to love them. I didn't know what love was. I had my first child at 15, she taught me love, I never received it, just looking at her and getting that understand. See, we never know what people go through, we never understand people's life. That's why I tell people, I thank God I didn't drink, I thank God I didn't do drugs, I thank God I didn't do a lot of stuff. But you know what my problem was I was an emotional eater. That's how I gained so much weight because I said I'ma eat because I felt it it it it eased my pain, it sued the hurt because I wasn't thinking about it. So you don't know everybody got different things they they use as a coping mechanism, and all we should be doing is praying for. I thank God I'm not emotional either now. Was it easy? No, and then sometimes I think I just ate too, not just even out of emotion. Well, if I if I'm a certain size, I won't be as attractive, crazy thinking, but that's how the mind works when you're robbed of your purity, your innocence. So young. I went to bed hungry every night. The foster mother wasn't in the home, she was a nurse and left me there with all the males. Then when she gets home late at night, they'll tell her I was bad and this and that. I couldn't eat. That's why I'm always feeding people. I can't stand a person go home. And if you know me, you know I cook like I'm feeding the whole army because I never want nobody to know what it's like to go to bed hungry. That's a hurting feeling. Stomach just cringe and it's just growling. I'm running to school because the school is around the corner to eat, so you don't know what people go through. That's why it's good to pray for people and allow God to help them through you because prayer changes things. Some people are like, Well, I ain't got no money to help. You you you got a mouth to pray, pray for prayer changes things, and on tonight, as I leave y'all, I hope I bless y'all soul, and I just pray that you let go, beloved, and let God and trust him and know he's a healer, he transformed and he restored, but we gotta shed the old skin, just like that snake shed that old skin and let that new skin, baby, shine brighter than the old year. So let's close our eyes and give God thanks, Lord. On this night, as we close this season finale, Lord, I thank you for this word you gave on tonight. I ask that you bless someone, Lord. Thank you for using me as your vessel to dwell in me and exude through me to bless so many others, Lord. Lord, let this message from Spotify to YouTube to Instagram to LinkedIn, every station on social media is located. I ask that somebody hear it at some point, and then they say, Lord, what must I do to receive you? What must I do to accept you? And they just extend their open arms out and cry out to you, and Lord, you receive them, welcome them back home, just like the prodigal son father did, and just like you did for me, father. You didn't hold my yesterday against me, you forgave me of all my sins and shortcomings, and you told me to run on and see what the end go be and not dwell on what men tell me, not even take in what they say. For you are the creator, and you receive me, and you love me, and you welcome me back. That's all that matters, just the same for them. So, Lord, as you continue using me for kingdom building, I ask that you meet my brothers and sisters at their knee, whatever they may be going through. If they're struggling with their rent, they're struggling with their mortgage, if they're struggling needing food, you send an angel, even if it's gas, let someone meet them at the pump and bless them, meet them in a gas station, meet them in a grocery store, meet them at the electric company and pay whatever they like. I ask these and all blessings, my father. I ask them all in the only name that has power in heaven and in our earth. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen and amen. Until men beloved, vibe.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:21

I didn't fall apart in public. I fell apart alone where no one could see. My mind became a place I was afraid to be. Every thought felt like an attack, and the silence was louder than any scream. I believed in God, but I didn't understand why I was hurting like this. I prayed and still felt broken. There were moments I didn't know if I had the strength to keep going. Moments where surviving felt harder than quitting. That's when I realized something. I didn't need to be ashamed. I needed to fight for my mind. I learned how to confront the pain, how to face the thoughts, how to heal without pretending. This book tells the truth about that fight. I didn't just survive mental anguish. I broke free from it. If your mind has been a battlefield, if you've been fighting in silence, you are not weak. Your story, isn't over.