Why You Keep Procrastinating (And How to Finally Stop)

Chapters 

00:01:30 I Procrastinated My Podcast for 3 Years
00:05:00 You're Not Lazy - You're Avoiding Something
00:09:30 Strategies to Combat Procrastination
00:19:22 Mindset Shifts and Overcoming Self-Sabotage

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Scrolling for hours, watching YouTube videos literally all night, binge watching movies and series, pornography and masturbation, just literally like distractions anytime I felt resistance. It was all just escape, not even enjoyment. I felt so much regret because I felt like I had so much potential and just wasting my potential makes me so angry that I cared what other people thought about me. Self-sabotage. I would find myself removing my blockers. Like I would remove the website blockers I would put on my laptop. Why am I doing that? Like, why am I so why am I sabotaging my entire life? Why am I sabotaging my future? Before we dive in, smash that subscribe and follow button. It really helps us keep dropping real, raw content just like this. Also, check out the merch in the description. Every purchase supports charities helping young people who've been bullied. And so if you want to support even more, you can also donate. Links below. Grab the merch, represent the message, and be part of something powerful. Let's go.

I Procrastinated My Podcast for 3 Years

SPEAKER_00 1:40

Like you know that there's something you're meant to be doing, something you actually care about, but you literally just can't seem to stay consistent. You just keep putting it off, you're distracting yourself, and then at the end of the day, you hate yourself for it. For me, this podcast wasn't just content, it was something I knew I was meant to do, and I found that many young people, and myself included, were struggling with things that no one wanted to talk about. But these things were kind of like taboo things that people don't really talk about and don't even want to talk about, and they're things like insecurity, pornography, abandonment issues, shame, and just like experiences growing up that you just kind of buried and never really spoke about again. But the moment that I started being open and sharing my story, I got backlash. I got so much resistance from my family, from people around me, from my peers, like even from podcast guests. And instead of pushing through, like I literally just froze for three years. And you're probably not procrastinating because you're lazy, you're probably procrastinating because you're just avoiding something. So why did I avoid doing my podcast? For me, it was negative reactions and shame. So my family didn't like that I was sharing my story online. Like they would say things like, Oh, you need to be careful of your digital footprint, you shouldn't talk about these things, like it's a shameful thing. They weren't very encouraging, I'm not gonna lie. It just discouraged me, you know, and I started to fear, oh, what are people gonna think about me? You know, even one family member even said, like, they were trying to say, How are you gonna find a husband if you keep sharing your story? And like, yeah, like it just it's not nice. But yeah, like I had like a fear of what people would think. Um, there was even like one point where I thought, oh, I'm not gonna have like any job opportunities. Like, imagine imagine like my future employer sees my video and then they're not gonna like what I'm talking about, and then I'm not gonna get the job. But I was like such a lie because I actually landed the internship off my dreams. I landed an internship at a private equity firm in central London and Piccadilly Circus last summer, and literally the first day I got there, I went up to one of the employees to just go say hi, and she was like, I think I know you, yeah, like I think I know you from somewhere. And I'm like, I'm not sure where. And she was like, TikTok! Yeah, TikTok. Meanwhile, I only have like 300 followers on my TikTok. So I'm like, I wonder what? And she said, Yeah, you were sharing your story in your sycophone college, and I'm like, Oh my god! And then literally from that day,

You're Not Lazy - You're Avoiding Something

SPEAKER_00 5:00

like she was so nice to me, took care of me, she was so kind, we went out for a walk, she bought me hot chocolate. I was just getting princess treatment, you know, because like obviously she saw my story online and um yeah, it impacted her positively. So that was that like all those fears I had were literally just like lies. And I even had like a fear of being perceived on social media, like I would just like I think I don't know what it is. I think it's feeling like you're being cringy or I don't know, just like a fear of even posting on social media. I think a big one as well was just like me feeling exposed, you know. I think I was like still healing, still kind of like struggling as well. So the things I would mention like pornography and masturbation, it's almost like it's almost like when I would talk about it, it's like, oh maybe they can see me doing it, like when I did it, like like they're god and they can see me, and they're like watching me in the act. So um I think I think I was still kind of like going through it. So instead of facing it, you know, uh and doing my podcast regardless and just continuing to go and just face the fear and do it anyway, instead of facing it, I just escaped. Right. So what does procrastination look like? For me, it was scrolling for hours, watching YouTube videos literally all night, binge watching movies and series, pornography and masturbation, just literally like distractions anytime I felt resistance. It was all just escape, not even enjoyment. I was literally just avoiding the task I was meant to be doing. How did this like make me feel? I felt so much regret because I felt like I had so much potential and I was just wasting my potential and it led to stagnation, you know, like stagnation of me doing my work. So then there's no like progress, or the progress is slowed down. If I'm trying to study, like I could be getting 100% and A stars, and like where's the progression? Instead of getting distracted, if I just like use my time well, I could progress more or get a better grade or like d do even better and understand and hit that was the word. Just like answer the question, or with my career, because now that I'm in university, it's kind of like looking beyond uni, so just like doing more research into what what could I possibly do after university? No progress, you know, and I was so angry because again, I procrastinated this podcast, so I I think procrastination also just left me so angry that I cared what other people thought about me, you know. I was just so angry because they're not paying my bills, you know what I mean? Um, so like yeah, I was just really upset about that because why should I care about what other people have to think about me when they don't care about my well-being whatsoever? There'll be periods where I would just stop, I would just not do my podcast at all. And every day I'm literally thinking, oh my gosh, like this is another day gone where I haven't done my podcast, and it just left me feeling depressed, just existing with no purpose. And I know I'm meant to do this podcast because I just felt like this is this is this is what I'm meant to do. I've always done things, like I've always had little side hustles, I've always had projects on the side of my education, and the podcast was the next thing I wanted to do, so I was so upset that I wasn't doing it just because people were reacting negatively to my story. Meanwhile, a lot of the feedback after me sharing my story was positive, you know, like it was clear that my story was actually helping people, so that's why I wanted to make a podcast to delve deeper into the things that young people need help with

Strategies to Combat Procrastination

SPEAKER_00 9:31

to be bold and confident. Because I was scrolling um like into the night, I would be sleep deprived. Like there will be times where I'm just like I've been scrolling, I've been watching a film, I've been watching YouTube, and the whole night has gone. I'm just thinking to myself, where did the time go? So let's move on to how can you stop procrastinating? Number one, accountability. The biggest thing that helped me was accountability. I have an accountability partner. My can't be my accountability partner is actually for my my mum. So I have an accountability partner in like different areas for my work. When I say work, I just mean like school work or my podcast work. I have an accountability partner and we meet up to go to the library every day, and it's like we have to be there. So it's just the fact that I told her, Okay, yeah, I'll be in the library, like we'll meet outside the library, then we'll walk in together. It's just kind of like, well, she's expecting me at this time, so I better be there. So it just it just forces you to show up every week. It's it's really helpful to have an accountability partner because it forces you to show up, take accountability, take responsibility, and helps you set goals, and you have someone that's walking alongside you to help you achieve those goals. Speak to them about maybe the struggles that you're having, something that you're procrastinating on that you want to move forwards in. So if it's like procrastinating on your uni work, procrastinating on your schoolwork, procrastinating on this project that you want to do, you can meet up with them and then you're both doing the work that you need to do. So they'll do their work and you do your work, but it's like you're there together, doing work together. My mum is my accountability partner for my podcast. So my mum's an entrepreneur, so we are each other's accountability partners. We set ourselves a weekly goal with one, it's just one goal in one area that we want to make progress in for the week. And if we don't achieve that goal, then you have to pay the person £100, and this motivates me so much because I'm not trying to be paying £100, uh it motivates me a lot, so yeah, and like that's just so helpful. And then also, my mum's also my accountability my accountability partner in terms of pornography and masturbation. So, like, I literally confessed to her like if I fell. You need an accountability partner. Your accountability partner needs to be someone that is successful in the area that you want to be successful in. Make sure your accountability partner is someone who wants to do well, someone who wants to do well in their life, someone who wants to be productive, someone who is going to encourage you. You need to be friends with people who are productive, that are clearly also trying to overcome procrastination and aren't just settling in procrastination or just being unproductive. Oh yeah, and then a final thing that helps me in terms of accountability partners is anytime I want to do work but I feel stuck, I feel resistance to start my work. I text my accountability partner and I'll be like, I'm feeling resistance. Can we please hop on a Zoom call? We go on a Zoom call and do work on the Zoom call. Set yourself like a 20-minute timer, you have now blocked out the next 20 minutes to do that task with someone on a Zoom call with you, your accountability partner, and you're both doing your task that maybe you're feeling resistance with, maybe they're also feeling resistance, and you just texted them at a really good time, or they're just continuing with the work they were doing. Finally, early bedtime. So my mum is also my accountability partner for me to have an early bedtime. I need to be like in bed for nine to be asleep for ten to then wake up early. Whenever I'm in bed, like around nine o'clock-ish, nine thirty. I call my mum and I'm like, good night, mummy, and then we do our nighttime prayer. My accountability partners help me a lot. Number two, remove distractions. You have to remove what's feeding the procrastination. Delete social media. Don't worry about drafts, post your drafts and then delete it, or delete it and just lose your drafts. You're probably not even gonna post your drafts because they're drafts. Either post the drafts and then delete, or if you're like concerned of people seeing or seeing your posts, like if you're like scared to post on social media on Instagram, you can like post it the trial reel. Do it as a trial reel, and then like your followers won't even see it, and then it's like it's not gone forever. So that's like something you could do, but literally just forget that, delete social media, literally say bye-bye, do like a 30-day social media fast, like just going without social media for 30 days, try it out, see how it goes. But like you need to remove the distractions, block websites, block the websites that are distracting you. I have Instagram blocked on my laptop, I have YouTube blocked on my laptop, and I have BBC iPlayer blocked on my laptop. So I'm not binge watching. I'm on Google Chrome, so you can use like Google Chrome extension to do that. Hope you're enjoying the episode so far. Please take a moment to leave a comment sharing how the episode has had an impact on you. And smash that subscribe button right now to get the algorithm going so that more young people can be inspired. Next, remove easy access. Don't work in your room because willpower alone is not enough and it weakens when you're tired. So if you get easily distracted in your room, leave. Leave. Yeah, like that's I find that work or like working in your bed. Don't be in bed, don't be in bed. You know, like whatever is hindering you from being productive, just remove it. That's literally the solution. Okay, next number three, set goals and reduce the barrier to start. Most of the time I find that the problem is starting. I read this book called The One Thing by Gary Keller and Jay Papassan. I think that's how you say his name. But it's called The One Thing, and it's an amazing book. This book asks one core question, and the question is what's the one thing I can do such that by doing it, everything else will be easier or unnecessary? What that means is you just find one action that creates the biggest domino effect, and then do that first, and then everything else will either become easier or it doesn't matter anymore. It's called the focusing question. Instead of like making a to-do list with all the things you need to do, you need to make that to-do list, write it all out, and then have a look. Well, which one thing will make everything else easier or unnecessary? Which one thing will have the greatest domino effect? Let's give an example. Let's use this podcast as an example because this podcast is the thing I've procrastinated the most. Let's say my multiple to-do list is make my reels, contact people to come on to my podcast. Edit last recording. Record a solo episode. Okay, let's say those things. And those things, those take a lot of time. There's five things, right? But then I also need to do my university work. I have two essays coming up, I have an exam coming up, I need to meet my tutor, I need to go to all my lessons, I need to go to the gym. Um, that's a lot of things. I need to clean my room, I need to cook. There's a lot of things to do. Some of those things I'm just gonna have to get done. But what is the one thing in regards to my podcast? What is the one thing that's gonna have the greatest domino effect? So maybe it's post one powerful reel today. And then the result of that is the audience grows, there's a positive impact on the people who watch, they tune in, and then their life is just transformed from watching these incredible videos. Yeah, that's an example for you. It's a really good book, you need to go and buy that book. It's really good. So, with my accountability with my mum, we practice that one thing, and that one thing is our weekly goal, and then we do we keep doing that one thing daily to then achieve that one weekly goal. Okay, and then we also have the £100 fine included in that. So, yeah, maybe that's something you could do. I think parents are the greatest accountability partners if they're supportive of like what you're doing. Ask your parents or like do it with your friends, friends that you can tell like have a lot of drive and are very productive. You could get a group of yourselves, organize yourselves into like a group, into a group chat, and then you do your one-weekly goal a week, and then maybe like you need to show up, like do a group call, or just you check in on the one day morning, whatever day it is, and ask everyone, have you done it, have you done it, have you done it, have you done it? And like show photographic evidence that they've done it, the task that they said they would do. And if they don't do it, they used to pay the hundred pounds and it goes into a pot, and then at the end of the month, that pot gets shared between the rest of you who have never had a hundred pound fine, like you've always done your task every week. So then the money gets shared amongst you. It doesn't get shared

Mindset Shifts and Overcoming Self-Sabotage

SPEAKER_00 19:23

amongst the people who got fined that month. So that would be like a really great motivator. Another way you can you can reduce the barrier to start is by having a structured environment. I think it's really key. Like work where you're gonna be productive, even if it means you have to go to the library, wash your face, brush your teeth, do your whole morning routine in the library because you work well there, you're gonna have to go and do it. Like, go and do it. I feel like you would only click on this video if like you are desperate to be productive and to stop procrastinating. So you gotta go and do everything you've got to do to do your work. Oh yeah, and then also this is so key having a nap. Napping is incredible. You need to try napping. If you don't nap already, you need to try napping. You'll be doing your work and you'll be feeling so tired, or you just notice that your brain isn't as fast. If you go and have a 45-minute nap, hour nap, or sometimes I'd even set the alarm, and when I wake up, I wake up. But it's like when I wake up and do my work, my brain is like at full capacity. Go and have a nap. Number four, counter your negative thoughts. I realize that procrastination started in my thoughts, and negative thoughts trigger procrastination. So maybe you have a negative thought. For example, with me, it was like I'm in second year of university, I don't have a grad job, and I don't even know if I want a grad job because I'm really enjoying creativity, and I'd love to pursue creativity and like monetize my creativity. I'd love to see them materialize and become a business, become an empire. And I did my internship already in finance, and I just kind of realized finance isn't for me, like my heart has never been in it. Yeah, maybe it's negative thoughts about money, like as a student, your student budget, you know, and maybe it's coming to the end of the academic year and money's running low. So what I do is I replace those thoughts. So I actually use scripture to attack negative thoughts because I'm finding that the negative thoughts are kind of like the same thing. And so I just use a scripture that goes like it attacks that specific negative thought. If I'm having fear about my future, I'll use a scripture that is about how God has plans for me. So I love the scripture that says, No eyes have seen, no ears have heard, no human mind has conceived of the plans that God has for those who love him. And I love God. That's basically He's that scripture is. Talking about me. That really, really helps me. And I set hourly Google calendar reminders to help me analyse my thoughts. So, like every hour I'll just have a Google Calendar notification come up, and it's just like a reminder to like just reflect. Have I had a bad thought like in the past 30 minutes to an hour in or in the past five minutes? I'll just analyze the thought, well, what's the thought about? Deconstruct the thought, and then I'll use scripture to attack that thought and to remind myself, no, that thought is a lie. And pray. I'm just trying to think, if you're not a Christian, what do you do? I don't really know what to say. Because I'm trying to think, what before I I became a Christian, what did I do? The thing is, before I became a Christian, I didn't have as many negative thoughts. I didn't. That's the honest truth. Like I've had more negative thoughts since coming into Christ. And I think it's because like I've asked God to take control of my life and take over my life. And the devil doesn't like that. Like the devil really doesn't like that. I'm now a threat to the devil's kingdom. I mean that's probably the reason why, like, the devil's trying to get to me through my thoughts. If you're not a Christian, I'm not sure. Before Christ, I used to do breathing exercises because my mum's a sports therapist and she's like so into health and wellness. She's always been into health and wellness. And like obviously we weren't Christians, so we wouldn't pray or read the Bible. So every time I'd like feel anxious, she'd just send me breathing exercises on YouTube. I can't lie. I don't think they really worked though. But maybe they did. I can't remember. But there's a lot of power in the Bible, and it's really helping me. Because like I'll be having negative thoughts and they'll be crippling so bad. Like I shared them with you, like money thoughts, and like it's bang anxiety, you know, like bad. Like the other day I wanted to buy Snickers and I was just looking at the Snickers. And I want to buy the Snickers because I'm hungry. And I'm just standing listening looking. Because I don't want to spend the money. And it's like, oh my gosh, like that's how bad the negative thoughts can get. You know, just paralyzing. So yeah, like there's the moments that's where I need to pray. And that's like, again, no eye has seen, no ear has heard, no human mind has conceived of the plans that God has for those who love him, and that's me. You know, like I have to just remind myself that God has good plans for me. Like, God has good plans for me, God has good plans for me, so I shouldn't fear. Let's talk about self-sabotage because I would find myself removing my blockers. Like, I would remove the website blockers I would put on my laptop. Like, why am I doing that? Like, why am I so why am I sabotaging my entire life? Why am I sabotaging my future? Why? You know, and that's when I realized this is spiritual, you know, and I need God to help me. This is what I realized I need God because I can't even I can't even help myself. This is why I mentioned scripture because I'm sorry the breathing exercises didn't help me. You know, so yeah, what what like this has been this is why I mentioned it to you. Like I'm only gonna talk about the things that have actually helped me. I only keep it real with you guys, I only keep it real. So yeah, that that scripture helped me so much, and I don't want to get too deep because in my next video I'm gonna be talking even more in depth. I realized that I had to start renewing my mind instead of feeding the fear and the urge to comfort myself with things that wouldn't fill me. I want you guys to know that you don't need to become a completely different, perfect human being. You just need to set the goal, remove the distractions, stay accountable, and lean on God for strength. Four things. And if you're struggling with this, please, like, please don't condemn yourself. Shame keeps you stuck. So just focus on what you're doing right and then build from there. You asked me to make a video on procrastination. It was your biggest struggle on my Instagram story. Thank you for completing that poll. So here it is. You know, if you'd like more videos on procrastination, please let me know. If yes, I'm gonna break this down even more in my next videos, and I'm gonna cover how to stop getting distracted and how to actually focus, how to stay consistent when you feel like quitting, and how to start when you feel stuck and unmotivated. So yeah, like I'm doing a four video series on procrastination and focus. I really hope you enjoy it. This is what you asked for. I've never ever seen myself doing a video on procrastination, but then I realized, like, oh yeah, like this is really relatable. So thank you so much for this. It's my first time doing a video that people have actually asked for me to do. Like, you guys asked for this and it feels really nice. So thank you. Like, honestly, okay, this and then a prayer. In Jesus' name, Heavenly Father, we thank you so much for this wonderful, amazing video. I pray in Jesus' name, oh god, that the people who asked for this video, the people who clicked on this video because they know it's procrastination, it's something they want to overcome and they're struggling with. I pray in Jesus' mighty name that you guide them, you protect them, you help them. Give them the strength, Lord. If they're struggling with self-sabotage, Heavenly Father, please just like don't please encourage them and if they're condemning themselves, please, Heavenly Father, show them your love and your mercy and remind them that they can always call out to you for a strength. I think Elod, because when you were going on the cross, today's Easter Monday, when you were going to the cross, when you were carrying that cross, that required a lot of strength. You could have procrastinated carrying the cross, but you didn't. So I think Elod, because that strength, that same strength is available to us.

SPEAKER_01 28:19

So just remind us that we can always call out to you to ask for that same strength. In Jesus' name. Amen. Bye guys, have a great day.