Blessed Youth
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Blessed Youth
How to stop getting distracted and actually focus
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One time I scrolled until like 7am. I had to get up for nine. Scrolling on social media, binge watching YouTube, binge watching series or films or pornography and masturbation. It's literally any of those. Distraction is literally just avoidance, escaping, discomfort. It really is self-sabotage in disguise. You're self-sabotaging your future life, your dreams. You know there's work that you need to do, but you can't be bothered to do your work. So what do you do? Your environment is literally set up to distract you. You sit down to do something important,
Why You Can’t Focus (It’s Not What You Think)
SPEAKER_00and within minutes, you're checking your phone, you're watching something, or you're doing anything except the thing that you plan to do. And it's frustrating because you actually want to be productive, but you just can't seem to stay focused. And then at the end of the day, you just feel like you've wasted so much time. And I've been there more times than I'd like to admit. If there's something I'm doing, it's either studying or working on my podcast. I would be procrastinating on one of those two. What does distraction look like for me? Scrolling on social media, binge watching YouTube, binge watching series or films or pornography and masturbation. It's literally any of those. My worst distraction phase. I have two. So let's like talk about the first one. It would be like scrolling, because I'm scrolling, so I know I need to do my work, but I'm can't be bothered to do my work. Or like I'm feeling resistance to do my work. And then I would do something else. Scroll, go like open, get my phone. Literally, it starts with the phone, and then scroll on social media, or watch YouTube videos, literally anything to distract myself on my phone. And like it got so bad that I would have planned, like maybe I have a student society to go to in the evening, and I really want to go. And I'd literally just miss my outing because I've been scrolling. Like that bad, guys. That bad. Or I'll just be extremely late. And it's just because I was scrolling on my phone, you know? And now it's like I feel like I'm scrolling in my mind. I'm like, oh my gosh, I should get up now and like get ready. Then I'm like, oh I don't want like I don't I think it's I think social media is really addictive because how am I having conversations with my brain saying I should do this but then I'm still stuck to my phone? I would be scrolling so much, it would go into the night and it would become a m. It would go from PM to 8m. I'll be getting ready to go to bed and then maybe I'll say goodnight to my mum and then Instagram's open, so I I'll go to Instagram. By the time I know it, I've just been scrolling. And it's 5am or it's 7am. Like one time I scrolled until like 7am and I was like, where did the time go? Like I don't understand. 7am and I had to get up for 9, you know, like that's bad. That is bad. So yeah, that's the worst phase is for distraction in terms of scrolling. The second worst the sec my second worst distraction phase. This is to do with an entirely different type of distraction. And this happens during like if you're a girl, you will know like just before your period, you go through something called ovulation. And that's when your hormones literally are just going up and down. And one symptom that you can note notice is an increased sex drive. So I'm more likely, like, if instead of getting like distracted by like scrolling, I'm more likely to like decide to go and watch Potter Masturbate during this specific time of the month. And what did that look like? It would just look like once I'm done, I would be so upset with myself because why have I gotten distracted? How have I ended up here? And like just irritation. I'm really annoyed with myself because I'm upset with myself and I want to distract myself from the upset that I'm feeling. I will then go in now scroll social media and then scroll YouTube means YouTube or go and watch something. Yeah. And like it just looks like absolute no control and avoiding my mum's messages because my mum's my accountability partner. Um it's like I don't want to confess to her um that I've fallen short. Do you know what I mean? Um, yeah, and I feel like especially with pornography and masturbation, for me, like it literally just like paralyzes my progress and just stagnates me because I feel it's definitely like spiritual. There's something spiritual about it because it's it like stops me from moving forward and it creates a brain fog, you know? So yeah, those are my worst distraction phases, right? I thought I'd mention that to you for it to help you. And the truth is distraction is literally just avoidance and it's escaping discomfort and it's self-sabotage, it really is self-sabotage in disguise. You're self-sabotaging your future life, your your dreams. Okay, now let's move on to the solutions. I have two solutions for you. The first part of the solutions will help you to stop the distractions instantly, and then the other half of the solution will make it harder for you to get distracted again. Number one, how do you stop distractions instantly? What you do is you remove access, delete those social media apps. I really recommend you go on like a social media first. Yeah. Like literally just try. Try it for 30 days. Can you go without social media for like literally just delete social media? Don't use social media for 30 days. You will be so surprised. You're gonna start experiencing, like, depending on like how bad this habit was, you'll probably start experiencing withdrawal symptoms like you would if you were um just coming off drugs. Social media is so addictive. It is especially TikTok, like so addictive. So try. You know, you'll actually probably see it's not as harmless as you think it is. Um, and then also block websites that are distracting you. Thank god I don't have Netflix. During GCSEs, my mum cancelled the Netflix subscription because she said I had to focus. Meanwhile, I wasn't um I wasn't binge watching Netflix during my GCSCs, you know? But um anyway, she said she's gonna cancel the subscription and then like after GCSCs she will resubscribe. To this day, I'm 19 years old. That was back when I was like 15, 16. There's no Netflix. Yeah, to this day. She she didn't, she didn't. But she didn't resubscribe. But you know, that was such a huge blessing because um Netflix, like, I'm sure there's su they're like some really quality shows, and I would be distracted. But anyways, I did have Amazon Prime because my mum likes to shop from Amazon and she has a prime subscription, and that means you can watch Prime Video. I was watching too much of Amazon Prime video and she cancelled the subscription of that as well. Not
The Truth About Distraction (You’re Avoiding This)
SPEAKER_00even because of not even b I don't even know why she did that. Maybe she was cutting cutting costs or something. I don't know. Yeah. I think she was just cutting down on her costs. Or why did I go on this huge tangent? I don't know. Anyways, block the websites that you know are causing you to just to be distracted. I have Instagram, BBC I player, and YouTube blocked from my laptop. Because those are the things that I go to when I like when I'm facing resistance with a task. I don't want to do my task, so I'll go and distract myself from the fact that I need to do my task. Those are the websites I go to. I have them. I have them um blocked. And because I use Google Chrome, so you can go on Google Chrome extensions and then look up like website blockers, download that, and then put in the websites you need to block. And then you can do the same for your phone. I use this app called Refocus. Refocus, sponsor me. I use this app called Refocus and it blocks websites and it blocks apps for my phone. So I have everything blocked. I have social media blocked, I have YouTube blocked, I have everything blocked. I literally have everything blocked. Yeah, everything is blocked. And also, ever since in the UK, they I don't know if it's a porn ban. Corn? Sorry, a corn ban. But like now you need to put your ID into the websites. And I don't know about you. I will not be putting any ID or passport or taking a photo of my face and give it to those websites. I will never do such a thing like that. I won't do that. So oh yeah, and also Twitter, like like before you could watch corn on Twitter and now you need to do the ID things. You need to like put that ID in on Twitter. So I just don't have Twitter. I just don't have Twitter. So yeah, that helps. Yeah, so maybe like because I feel like do you need Twitter? I don't know if you like you don't need Twitter. Well I don't know. Depends what type of career you're pursuing, but I don't really think you need Twitter. Like Instagram's fine. So maybe delete your Twitter account. Because I feel like you would only click on this video if you know you need help. If you know the distractions are getting out of hand. So like you need to do whatever you got to do to make sure you don't get distracted again. Okay. Next, fix your environment. Go and do your work in an environment that you can actually focus in. If you can't focus in your room, don't be in your room. Don't like duh. I hit that.
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SPEAKER_00Don't be in your room. Go to the library, go to a cafe, like be around human beings who are working, and that's gonna motivate you to work. Because like, imagine you're around people who are working and you're not working, you're just gonna feel like gosh, you know. I don't know, like you will probably be encouraged to work if you're seeing other people work. Um, like during my during my worst procrastination distraction phase, I was just like locked up in my room, and then I got out of that phase. I got out of the dark hole. Like I was going through a really rough time, and I was like, crap, I have to study because I had midterm exams, midterm essays. So then I went to the library and it didn't occur to me that people had been studying the entire time I was in my low time. They just kind of like the library was packed, packed with diligent, hardworking students. And in my mind, I was just like, So, all this time being up in your bed, throwing yourself a pity party, being distracted, numbing yourself with distractions while your peers have been studying hard. I was like, oh my gosh, wow, wow. So yeah, fix your environment. Fix your environment. And you can also listen to I have here on my notes billionaire books. I am reading a book at the moment and it's about it's basically about this guy. He interviewed like so many billionaires, and he wrote a book about it, and just a book about like the trends and the habits of these billionaires. And just seeing what the the habits that billionaires have just really helped me to understand like what it takes to be quote unquote successful. And it was just kind of like, okay, then make sure you have the same habits so that you can also be quote unquote successful. I like to say I'm already success because I'm a God's child. Next, add structure. Get an accountability partner or partners. So what is accountability partner? Let's say that you know there's work that you need to do, but you can't be bothered to do your work. So what do you do? With schoolwork, I have an accountability partner. We meet up to go to the library every day. And we do work together. And we do that every day, and it forces me to show up. So if you do the same thing, that's gonna help you to show up and do the work. Most of the time, it's just showing up, and it can be so hard to just show up. So get an accountability partner because it's like you know, oh my gosh, I'm meeting this person at XYZ time. And I told them I'm meeting them, so I need to go and show up now. And if you're finding that you are not showing up, then raise the stakes. Like say to yourselves, okay, if you don't show up, 100 pounds, you owe me 100 pounds, you know, raise the stakes, just show up, get an accountability partner. But honestly, you don't really need to add money into the mix, like just telling someone, oh the exam is coming up. First of all, that exam, you know, kind of gives you some sort of motivation. Like, gosh, if it doesn't give you motivation, it gives you stress, right? So then you can get an accountability partner for you to do the work to eliminate the stress. So you have an exam coming up, so tell them, oh, like I just realized I need to lock in, you know. So let's lock in together and help keep ourselves motivated to show up and do the work every day. That's exactly what you can do. And make sure your accountability partner is someone who is productive and will show up, is willing to put in the work and is a go-getter. And then have like a routine. Have a routine, like have your morning routine, your night routine. Like,
Fix This or You’ll Stay Distracted Forever
SPEAKER_00know what you're doing. Know what you're doing. Plan your day the night before. Time block. No, from this time to this time, I'm gonna be doing this. Be strict with yourself. Like, okay, by 12 midday, I need to move on to this task and actually just move move on to the task to teach yourself, yes, I need to hurry up and do the work quickly. And then also like go to the gym or like do something like physical, like do something to kind of break up your day. Like midday, you have something to do, you have somewhere to go, so then it just forces yourself to do your work quicker because you know that you have somewhere to be at 12 midday. You need to use your morning very well. And then just to touch on the morning routine and the night routine, I don't mean like your skincare routine, I just mean like have fixed times, like fix the time that you go to bed and fix the time that you wake up, or at least fix the time that you wake up so that it kind of forces you to go to bed early, you know. I think if when you have fixed times, it just forces you to use the time that you have and to be quick as opposed to wasting your time and then being fast, and then now by the time you know it, you're going to bed late, and then it's like a repeated cycle of wasted time. Let's move on to the next section, which is number two, making it harder to get distracted again. Removing distractions isn't enough because if your work still feels hard, you're just gonna find new distractions. So, what you want to do is you want to set goals. I've been reading this book called The One Thing by Gary Keller and Jay Papassan. The core question from this book called The One Thing is what's the one thing I can do such that by doing it, everything else will be easier or unnecessary? So, what does this mean? Basically, to set your goals, you just need to find the one action that creates the biggest domino effect. Do that first, and then everything else will either become easier or it just doesn't matter anymore. This is called the focusing question. So write out like your big to-do list of everything you have to do, and then you pick the one thing from that list that you need to do. But like this is like per area. Obviously, like every day you're gonna do more than one thing in a day because there's just so there's like a lot of things to be done in a day. Like maybe you have to clean, you have to cook, you have to work, you have to study. Like, those are like just some things that you just you like you have to do, those things. But besides everything you need to do in a day, what's the one thing you could do besides what you need to do? What's the one thing that will propel you forwards and give you the most progress in the thing that you're trying to grow or the thing that you're trying to do? And so I incorporate this with the accountability partnerships I was talking to you about earlier. So with my mum, my mom's an entrepreneur and I'm also an entrepreneur, we're working on our own businesses. And when you have a business, like there's so many things that you need to do, but we apply this one thing principle, which is we set ourselves weekly goals. Honestly, I encourage you to get the book because it actually breaks it down to what's your one-year goal, but it's only just one one-year goal. And then what's your five-year goal, what's your ten-year goal, what's your one-day goal? And then it's just like you basically you work backwards from that to then understand what you need to do every day to reach your one-week goal, to reach your one-month goal, to reach your three-month goal, to reach your one-year goal, to reach your five-year goal, to reach your ten-year goal, to then reach your one-day goal, your dream goal. So I basically do this with my mum. This is why accountability partnerships are so important. People, this is why people pay for coaches, because it's accountability, right? It's that checking in, someone checking in with you, keeping track, helping you to analyze, see, like if you need to adapt your plan, adapt your strategy. There's a saying that says, change the plan, but never change the goal. What it means by don't change the goal is don't think your goal is too big, so you now need to come smaller because you can't achieve such a big goal like that. No, basically just means like if your current plan will make it harder to achieve your current goal, then change your plan so that your goal is more feasible. So this is this is what I do with my mum. Every week we set ourselves the one-week goal using this one thing principle, and we raise the stakes. So if we don't complete the goal, we have to pay the other person £100. So that really motivates me like a lot. So writing down my goals, like and like visualizing
The System That Forces You to Stop Procrastinating
SPEAKER_00the life that I aspire to have, the life I aspire to live, the people I aspire to serve, motivates me. But motivation kind of fades. So this one week accountability partnership really, really helps. And just raising the stakes with the £100 fine really helps. So maybe this is something that you could also do with like, and it's nice to have like your parent as an accountability partner, or it can be like amongst your friends. You can get yourself together in a group and set your weekly goals specifically. What is the goal? Like the wording has to be specific so that it's completely clear to everyone else what the goal is. And then you check in the next week before you set the new goal. You check in and you ask everybody, have you done it? Have you done it? Have you done it? And then they have to say yes or no. And then they have to show the like photographic evidence that they actually have done it. And if they haven't done it, then they have to pay the hundred pounds, and then and then the money will go towards a group pot. Let's say every month the pot of money gets shared between the people who didn't get penalties, between the people who accomplished their goal every week. Like, so let's say that someone unfortunately didn't quite finish their goal, they have to contribute £100 towards the group pot. Okay, that will be really motivating. The next thing you want to do in order to make it harder for you to get distracted again is you need to analyse your negative thoughts. Because your negative thoughts are a trigger for you to then want to comfort yourself with a distraction. So, how I do this is I have hourly Google Calendar notifications and they it just says renew your mind. So when I get the notification, I stop, like I literally stop what I'm doing, and I reflect on the past 30 minutes, past five minutes, past hour. Have I had any negative thoughts? I just think, okay, have I had any negative thoughts? I identify the thought. What is the thought about? Most times it's like about money, my student budget. Oh yeah, like getting a grad job. I'm in my second year and I don't have a grad job. I don't even know if I want to get a grad job because I enjoy creativity and like I'm not sure if I'm aligned to like be employed. So yeah, just like having like negative thoughts about my future. That's like so common. And yeah, so I would analyze have I had any thoughts like that for the past hour? If I do, I use like scripture to directly combat those thoughts. So I'm having a negative thought about the plans for my future. I love the scripture, it's my go-to scripture to combat the negative thought, and it's no eyes have seen, no ears have heard, no human mind has conceived the plans that God has for those who love him, and I love God. So that scripture is literally talking about me. Kid you not, guys, this works so well. I became a Christian in 2021, but before I became Christian, like obviously I didn't pray or read the Bible, so like I didn't do this, you know, so I was like always distracting myself. So yeah, what would I do? I would before like I think I would like if things got really bad, like if I was really anxious, like I would just tell my mum and she would give me like YouTube videos for breathing exercises, and I would like follow the video, like to breathe in and breathe out and breathe in and breathe out. And it wasn't really helpful, I'm not gonna lie. These scriptures, like using specific scriptures that match my specific negative thought to attack
The Hidden Thoughts That Are Sabotaging You
SPEAKER_00the negative thought, works so well, so well. Like there is power in God, in by in the Bible, in Jesus Christ. Because I'm just thinking, what would help you if like you don't know God, you know, you don't have a relationship with God? I'm just like speaking from my own experience. Is this what's helped me, and of course, I would always keep it real with you guys. So honestly, that's what's helped me the most. Right, let's move on to the next one. The next thing that is going to make it harder for you to get distracted again is having a nap. Because your body is probably craving a break. Honestly, that's probably why you're you're feeling that pull and that urge to get distracted. Because your body needs a break, and like when I find myself, like maybe I am actually doing work and I'm just finding that I'm taking a longer time to make progress in my work. It's probably because I just need a nap. Like I've tried this, I've like done my work, and it's like my brain like isn't it's not working as fast as it normally would. It's not working as fast as it could at optimal capacity. I'll go and have a nap, even if it's 20 minutes of like actual sleeping time. Or sometimes I will literally just go sleep, don't even set an alarm, and when I wake up, I wake up. And then when I go to do my work, I am working at optimal brain capacity. So I really recommend napping. The next thing, reward yourself. Give yourself a reward. Especially if like you have a task to do and it's you know it's you know you're facing you know that you are facing like a lot of resistance and you really can't be bothered to do this work. Give yourself a good reward. Like yesterday, um, I had to script six YouTube videos for this podcast. That was a lot of work. Like I went to bed really late for three days straight to script those videos, and I procrastinated scripting those videos. So, but then like there was one time, there was one day where I gave myself a reward. I was like, okay, you can eat Oreos. Yes, so when you know that you have a big task to do that day, make sure you give yourself a reward, reward yourself, because it's like it's training yourself that if you're if you do like if you're productive in your work, you will feel good about yourself afterwards, and it also gives yourself something to look forward to and it makes you do your work quicker so that you can have your rewards. So that could include like going to a society event in the evening or watching a film, having a really nice like dessert, having a nice meal, anything like anything that you'd like
The Real Way to Break the Cycle (Most People Ignore This)
SPEAKER_00to do, going to the gym, even going for a dance class, being with friends. Okay, the next thing for me is um track your menstrual cycle. If you're a girl, track your menstrual cycle because around ovulation, like literally just before you get your period, that's when your hormones are literally up and down and everywhere. Um, and for me, like my hormones are up and down everywhere. That's when I notice, like, also I get increased sex drive and I'm more likely to distract myself with corn and masturbation as opposed to like scrolling, watching a film or what else, binge watching something. Like I'm more likely to um go and like masturbate or something, which is probably like one of the worst distractions because it saps your energy, it drains you so badly, and it honestly doesn't make you feel good about yourself, at least for me, like especially once I gave my life to Christ. Like I just noticed it's this is no longer in alignment with my identity and who I am now. No one had to tell me that masturbation or corn doesn't benefit me in any way whatsoever. It was just a realization that I came across, like I didn't enjoy it anymore because I'm now I'm now a child of God and I just noticed what it was costing me. It was costing me my time, it was costing me peace of mind. Literally, like I didn't have any peace, I just felt paralysed in my decision making, uh etc. My mum my mum is my accountability partner when it comes to corn and masturbation. It's really helpful because then like if I do like if I do fall, I'll confess to her. And it really helps just have someone that is keeping you accountable and keeping you responsible as well, and just helping you to take charge of your life decisions and encouraging you to do that and take control of your time. Having a menstrual cycle tracker helps me know like when my period is coming because then I can also like track my symptoms, then I now know okay, like I actually don't really know when the symptoms are starting because I only started tracking this month, so I'm yet to find out. But even before having my tracker on my phone, I it's like an app. I'm using the flow app and it was finding just before starting my period, that's when my sex drive would go up. So it's just good to know, and that's when I make sure my days are even more structured. I'm never in my room, I'm literally like only my room to sleep, and everywhere else, like I'm just out and about. I'm doing my work in a structured environment around other human beings who are working productively as well. The next thing that helps is envisioning your future self. Like, think about where where do you want to be in the next five years? Like, do you want to have a family? Like, where do you want to be in your career? Because every time you distract yourself, you are self-sabotaging your entire life because that's you stagnating progress that you could be making in your work, and you need to progress in your work in order to get things like money. Like, money is a tool you need in this life. When you stop getting distracted, you're able to do your work and you're also able to just sit and think, like, actually have deep thoughts and clarity. Because if you're always distracting yourself with your phone or whatever your distraction is, you're numbing yourself and you're not actually giving yourself the room to think about really important future decisions. One thing I think about is like when my mum gets old, I want to be able to look after my mum. Like, I want my mum to live with me. I wouldn't want my mum to go in a care home. Like, I would want to make sure that my mum's getting the best care she can, like the best care ever. You know, so I think just thinking about my mum getting old. I have a young mum, but like when she does get old, I want to be able to like care for her. The final thing that will help you and make it harder for you to get distracted again is recognizing that self-indulgence and self-sabotage is real. I removed my website blockers. I'm pretty sure like every single thing I deleted, like I redownloaded when I wanted to distract myself. Um like I honestly just realized that I can't do this alone. Because even when I removed everything, I'd still find a way to go back to the distraction. And that's just when I realized I need God. Like I need God to help me because it's clear that my own strength like is weak and the willpower is weak, you know. But God says that we can lean onto him for strength. Smash that subscribe and follow button. It really helps us keep dropping real, raw content just like this. Also, check out the merch in the description. Every purchase supports charities helping young people who've been bullied. And so if you want to support even more, you can also donate. Links below. Grab the merch, represent the message, and be part of something powerful. And he gives us strength. Today's Easter Monday, when Jesus was carrying that heavy cross and was being whipped on the way to his the place where he would be killed. I'm sure that required a lot of strength. And the Bible says that I am able to ask him for that same strength. So that is some incredible news to hear because the strength that I have been leaning on has been very weak. So that's a really good tip for you there. It's important to understand that you don't need more discipline. You honestly just need fewer distractions. Because when you have fewer distractions, it means you have nothing else to do but to actually do your work. Like, there's nothing else to do. Like literally, I found once I I deleted everything from my phone. There's literally nothing on my phone. There's nothing on my phone. Nothing. And it's like I was so used to distracting myself. I started binge reading BBC News. You know, and it just kind of goes to show how I had programmed myself and trained my brain to be seeking dopamine hits. Because why how imagine imagine binging BBC News? You know, that's how much I wanted some s some comfort or some distraction. So I also deleted BBC News. Can you imagine? It just makes you force yourself to do work. Please take a moment to leave a comment sharing how the episode has had an impact on you. And I also want you to know, if you're struggling with this, you're not lazy. You've just been surrounded by distractions and overwhelmed for such a long time. Like we literally grew up with distractions. Was I an iPad kid? I don't know if I was an iPad kid. Oh no, I'm Gen Z. Does that make me an iPad kid? Or is that Jen Alpha? I don't know. But anyways, like we have, like, we've grown up with social media for sure. I grew up with um, like my mum had a black brew phone and the first iPhone. But like, yeah, definitely like I've been a teenager, I'm 19 now, and like social media is very much alive. But like we've grown up with distractions and overwhelm for so long that it feels normal to us. But once you fix that and get rid of the distractions, you'll realize you're actually capable of so much more than you think you are. On my Instagram story, you also asked for a video on how to stay consistent, and that makes sense because even if you remove distractions, staying consistent is where most people fall off. Thank you so much for interacting with me on my Instagram story for answering the poll. Let me know what else you'd like guidance on. And finally, I just want you to know that you are bold and Jesus Christ loves you so much. Okay, let's end in a prayer. In Jesus' name, Heavenly Father, we thank you so much for this wonderful video. I pray, Lord, that the person who is listening on the other side, I pray they were touched. I pray that they've had some practical tips that they can use to help them to stop getting distracted and to actually focus on what the task is that they need to do. I pray, Lord God, that you just show them that they can lean onto you for strength. They can call out to you and reach out to you and ask you for strength. They don't need to do it on their own. They don't need to like keep going. They don't they don't need to start and then fall off again and then start and then fall off again and then feel regret and then feel guilty and feel bad about themselves, and then just being in this continuous cycle, they can actually reach out to you and ask you for your help and for your strength. I pray, Lord, that you just give them your peace, your love, and your joy, and you meet them at their point of need. In Jesus' name we've prayed. Amen. Amen.